[Intro music}

“Delete this History” is created, written, hosted, produced, and edited by Brea Burch and-….oh my god.  We just got married.

I'm not taking your name.

I would never force you to. No, I'm not going to be able to do this without laughing now.

Well, last week you called us Crea. We had a couple name. Now this week we're married. This is just getting out of control.

[Theme Music]

We're your hosts, Brea Brown.

And I'm Cara Burch.

We have a big ol’ clock now.

Yes we do.

To keep us on time. And we're going to be looking at it. And maybe we'll even post it on the Instagram, social, Twitter, X's, Facebooks…

The things the kids are looking at these days.

So you can see how humongous it is for our grandma eyes.

It's perfect.

And how bad we are with time keeping and our episodes are seven hours long and we have to edit them down.

It's because we have so much fun when we're together.

It's true.

We could talk for hours.

Oh yeah.

Hours.

Yeah.

It's not hard.

It's very hard to limit. So, excited about the new clock. What else is new in your world?
So, I have to do a little disclaimer real quick. This is going to be fast. From our previous episode. We had talked about perms and how they smelled bad. As I was editing this, I was like in focus, in the flow, working hard. And I was jolted out of it when I heard my own voice say that I would sit on the toilet as I watched my mom give my sister a perm. And I need to clarify. I was not using the restroom.

I don't think anybody would think that.

It was so jolting to me that I just needed to clarify. I was using the lid down as a chair so I could just watch the event. So, it jolted me so bad when I heard it. I was like, whoa, wait.

That's funny because I didn't even think anything of it.

Okay, I'm glad.

I knew that you weren't sitting there, you know, dropping kids off at the pool while your mom was giving a perm to your sister.

I'm really glad. I guess that was just a self-conscious moment for me. So, disclaimer.

Your little Victorian came out and was like, you can't talk about the toilet.

Oh, my nerves. Where's my smellin’ salts?

I was just about to say that.

I know you were. I could feel it. I just said it for you because it came from your brain into mine.

That's scary.

Oh, so that was, I just had to get that out of the way, folks.

So, that's from our last episode.

Episode two. “Collie Mann and Capsaicin Receptors.”

Correct.

Also, we need to say thank you to everybody who's listened to episode one, which is the only one that's released so far as we record this.

Yes. Thank you, everybody.

Unbelievable response.

I know.

I can’t believe it. When I checked it this morning we had 102 downloads which is 100 more than I thought we’d have.
Uh, Yeah, I would agree with that.

Heather and Hopper were going to be our two downloads.

It's so much more than Heather and Hopper.

We had a download in Mexico, a download in Belgium, and some downloads in the UK, which I kind of expected. My sister lives there part-time, and so I'm sure she's got some friends, and she's probably talked it up because she always brags about me, no matter what I do.

Awww, sister!

I know.  And then mostly all over the United States.

That's awesome.

People we don't know, Cara.

That's also terrifying.

Because there's places that I don't know people in these places.

But shout out to Erin in Pennsylvania. I do know her.

Oh, nice.

And Cooper Trooper.

Cooper Trooper up in Minnesota.

I was so excited to hear from her.

I know!

She's probably going to get a few mentions when we go down memory lane.

Oh my goodness, yes.

We worked with her at the ye olde TV station.

Anyway, so thank you everybody for the word of mouth, the shares on the social media, putting up with my terrible social media posting because that was my job this week.

Oh, I've got to do it this week.

You do. Have fun with that.

Thanks.
We're not so great at that.

But we're learning.

I'm moving along. What else?

Okay, so I had a pretty good week. I had a couple of good things, really, really good things happen.
I had one not so great thing happen.

Well, that's a week.

It's a week. Yeah. Ups and downs.

Yeah.

I pulled the trigger and bought a car.

Fast.

So fast.

I kind of didn't have an option. Buying cars these days is weird.

You got to snap it up.

You have to snap it up. You just have to make a decision. So went, test drove. Turned out that the one I was test driving -- I thought I could go in and buy it. Turns out that one's not for sale.

That happened with us, too.

That's okay.  They have to keep that one on the lot as a model car for people to test drive.  That's cool. I get it.  Went in, talked to the salesman. He told us what was coming in. I picked one, put down a deposit. And in a couple, three weeks, mama have a new car. It's pearl white.

And it's sporty.

It is sporty.

It's a hybrid.

It's a hybrid! I think I might be as excited as you are.

I can't wait to take you for spin in it.

Because I've been asking you all week questions about it. When are you expecting your car? Yeah, I'm super excited.

Oh my gosh, me too.
So that was a good thing that happened. I ate at a restaurant I've been wanting to eat at for a long time.
It's been around forever. One of my coworkers took me for lunch this week. Some of the best food I've ever eaten.

What that your 90 minute lunch?

Mm hmm!  Yeah. We had to wait.

And I've never eaten there.

Oh, I mean it's always crazy.

It was delicious. I will take you. We'll go. It's so worth it.

I'm excited.

What else are we talking about? Oh yeah, this week was, it was rough.

I know.

It was rough for me. I mean, Cara edited episode two. Your first stab at the editor role.

Oh my gosh.

And you haven’t editing in like, 20 years.

Oh my gosh, yes.

And I'm sure you crushed it.

It's coming back to me. Toward then I was like click, click, click.

I'm sure you did.

It's going to be great. At first it was not.

And by the time this episode launches, that one will already have been born into the world because two comes before three and I am smart.  However, my adventures in technology this week were not as fun.

What happened?

Well, you know, I don't like self-promotion and there was lots of that this week because we launched the first episode.  So, I had to do a lot of self-promotion on social media and all those places. Not, not the best time. And I haven't been on social media in a long time. I eschewed social media because it was just too toxic and it stressed me out. And I just said, I can't do this anymore. So, I didn't close down my accounts or anything, but I did just not ever go on there. And every once in a while, I would because Clint would say, oh, there's a picture of Quinn on Facebook or whatever. And so, I would go out there and I would look.
Right.

But I never went out there like to scroll or anything like that.

Yeah, it gets toxic.

And I would check my author Facebook account every once in a while. And I and I do have an Instagram account. I like to watch videos on Instagram, but I don't post on there as myself.

Yeah. Oh, I never have either before.

I just hit that heart all the time. I'm just hurting everything. 

Yeah. 

Heart, heart, heart. And I might share something with you because I think it's funny.

Right.

Anyway, so it just was not a fun time. I mean, this old dog had to learn a lot of new tricks and my brain isn't as plastic as it used to be. So I was a grumpy butthole by the end of the week. And then my youngest came to me and was like, ‘I lost everything on bit life because I had to uninstall and reinstall and I lost all my purchases and what's been like achievements.’

What’s bit life?

It's a life simulator.

It's hard to describe. Okay. And it's it's weird.

Okay.

So anyway, so he lost everything. It was glitching. So he uninstalled reinstalled lost everything. And I was like, okay, well, I'm really busy because I'm working. I know this is an emergency to you, but it's not to me. So we'll work on it tonight. So after I worked all day on Friday and was very tired and my brain was just fried from the week, I had to deliver on my promise and help him figure this out. And I did.

You're such a good mom.

I didn't get his achievements back because those are gone. Sorry, anybody who has to uninstall and reinstall a game like that, your SOL when it comes to like your progress and your achievements and stuff.
But I did get back every dang thing that he bought.

Very good.

Because if it had to do with money, I was like, I'm getting that back. We had to restart his phone a couple of times. And then finally, it came. It all came back.

Oh, good.

Like Celine Dion. Sorry.

Don't sing it. So mom to the rescue as usual.

Good job. I'm so proud of you.

Thursday morning. What happened to you?

Real quick. I like to wake up slowly. I don't hit the buzzer, get out. Rolled over. I was face to face with a spider on my pillow.

And is that the real bad thing that happened to you? Oh, my gosh.

Do you know the scene in Twilight, the first Twilight where they're making out on her bed and Edward launches himself off the bed backwards and sticks to the wall?

Yes.

I have a pretty clear description of what happened in my bedroom that morning.

You didn't know you could move that fast.

Did you hurt yourself moving that fast?

I tweaked my neck.

Of course.

And it's better. It actually I'm healing faster than I thought I would because I've been doing stretches and things, but I tweaked my neck so back. Here's the worst part of this story: It was not a spider.

What was it?

It was mascara. It was a mascara spider.

I was so tired. I was so tired Wednesday night that I went straight to bed. I didn't wash off my makeup. I remembered it once I laid down because I felt my crunchy eyelashes. I just can't get back up. So I just you know, I was like, I'm just going to deal with it in the morning. Well, I dealt with it by launching out of bed.

Oh, my gosh.  You just get the crap out of yourself with your shroud of Turin pillowcase.

So that happened.

That is the best story I've heard all week.

So my neck is a little bit stiff.

So I hate being scared.

Oh, man. Me too.

I come up swinging.

Me too. I get so mad.

And I was just it set the tone for the day. I just started that day in such a bad mood.

After you realized it was mascara, you didn't laugh.
I….I did laugh actually, but then I still was like, ‘TAKE YOUR MAKE UP OFF!’

I never take my makeup off at night. I know I'm a Philistine.

What? 

Sorry.

Oh, my gosh. I would be…I couldn't…I have to take it off.

I don't.

In fact, I usually take it off the minute I get home. I go in. I change my clothes. I wash my face, get all that makeup off, pull my hair back. Boom. You're welcome, Sean.

Right.

I bet he loves that.

Time to get ugly.

It's ugly time.

Well, we have a lot to talk about.

What are we here for?

We're here. We're women of a certain age. We can't remember things. We're still learning things. We have to settle some arguments between your kids. So, we search a lot of things. We're taking these searches each week, We're listing them out, We're picking the top five, and we're sharing them with each other and you guys out there.

Yes. For laughs and attention and shameless approval.

And to learn….shameless approval….
It's that dopamine hit, man. Somebody tells you, ‘you're so funny.’  And you're like, ‘am I?’  Thanks.

So far, our listeners, they're doing a good job.

I love you guys.

[Interstitial Music]

The reading of the list is this segment. We tell you our top five most interesting, funniest,
most successful searches of the week in list form. Very quickly. Allegedly. By design.

The clock says otherwise.

Right.  My list for this week is number one: Teddy Roosevelt president years slash Mount Rushmore construction. Number two: groundhog and woodchuck difference slash groundhog climbing. Country girl is laughing at me. Number three: muirburning, yeah, you're not laughing anymore, are ya? Number four:

Your face was so justified.

Number four:  Chat GPT.  Number five: “Alan Carr’s Adventures with Agatha Christie.”

Your list is good this week.

I had so many. It was so hard to narrow it down.

Same! All right, here I go. Number one: Why do migraines often start while you're sleeping? Number two: link flip flop shoes. Number three: Ron Swanson approved reasons for crying. Number four: American Legion versus the VFW. Versus (whispered). Number five: What is Kugelhopf slash Gammon slash Coulis? That's it.

Oh, my goodness.

Okay. So, it's time to play a little game we like to call… “Search Me!”

[Interstitial Music]

Where we pose one question to each other and ask the other to answer based only on the reading of the list.

There are prizes involved.

Yes, there are prizes involved.

And if you don't win the prize one week, it carries over to the next week.

Does that mean I'm playing for that washi tape?

The washi tape is back on the table. Literally.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Cara, today I would like you to tell me which search was partly inspired by a friend of ours who shall remain nameless, who got grief from her husband about not knowing that this was a thing.  And I'm willing to give you a hint because I'm relying on your memory here and I know that's dicey.

So dicey.

And it's kind of a way-back-machine memory.

Oh.

Do you need hints?

No.

Okay. What is it?

Is it muir burning? Oh.

What the hell? Why didn't you take the hint?

I don't know. I thought I could do it.

Your face. It’s so sad.

I almost went with chat GPT.

Nope.

Oh, I would have been going wrong too.

I don't understand. I don't know.

Ready?

Yeah.

If I give you the hint.

Oh, it was Mount Rushmore, wasn't it?

No! Oh my gosh.

Can I have two more guesses?

I'll give you one more guess after I give you a hint.  
All right, yeah, give me the hint.

Okay. The hint is Sonya Beaver.

What?! So, is it the groundhog thing?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh my gosh.

So, I will say, can I get one roll of washi for knowing that it was Sonya? I knew it had to be Sonya.

Well, before I gave the hint, you knew it was Sonya.

So that's what I was thinking in my head. Can I get one roll of washi for that?

Pick one of the washi things.

I want candy stripe. Candy stripe! Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Okay, tell me.

Okay. There's no difference between a groundhog and a woodchuck; they're the same thing. And groundhogs are also known as whistle pigs, which from now on I will be calling groundhogs whistle pigs.

I have never….

I'm never calling them anything else.

Well, did you then search whistle pig and why they're called that?

Of course not.

Okay, I'm writing that down as search for next week?

It's just too cute. Also, despite their name and their burrowing instincts, groundhogs, which are rodents in the marmot family, can climb trees, particularly if they're fleeing from something and are foraging for food. I have two special groundhogs in my life. One at home at the end of our cul-de-sac.

Oh, really?

Yes, and my husband loves that thing. I think he loves it more than he loves me. He looks for it every spring to make sure it's still around. 

That's hilarious.

And then there's one who lives in the bushes at my office, which I shared a while back on social media and I called him Herman. And I would like to apologize to you, Cara, because that is not the name you gave him.

That's all right.

His name is Herbert.

It's Herbert.

And I've proven once again that I can't go off memory for anything and I need to go look back at the texts.

What if the woodchuck at your house is just grabbing onto your bumper when you drive into town and then he's just jumping off it? He’s like, ‘oh, we're going downtown!’

He jumps off when I get close to work and runs around the building and then sits in the front yard and waits for me.

Those things are crafty.

That Herbert, he's something else.

So, Sonya relates to this story how?

Yes. I said she was going to remain nameless but eff that.

Hi Sonya.

So do you remember when Sonya one time was like, ‘hey’ to her husband, ‘look there's a beaver up in that tree’ and she thought it was a beaver and he made fun of her and laughed and said, ‘that is not a beaver, that's a groundhog.’

But they do look very similar.

They do.

If you can’t see their tail…

100%

…you might not know. And beavers are really big.

Beavers are massive.

My beaver is huge. That was just for my sister Colleen. She loves when I use that word.

I don't remember that story. I probably did hear it and it's probably in the files of my mind somewhere, but those files are dusty. I don't remember it.

It was out of Food and Firth.

Was it at their house that she saw that?

Yes.

Okay.

Yeah. And she lives out in the woods, which you guys wouldn't know, but she thought she saw a beaver up in the tree.

Can beavers climb trees?

I don't know. I didn't.

I know they can chew trees down.

I didn't look that up, but I did look up, can groundhogs climb trees? Just because I just wanted to be sure. Because I don't trust him.

Uh-uh.

I'm going to search can beavers climb trees.

But whistle pigs can. So that is, that is being my answer for ‘Search Me!’

I love it.

What's my question?

All right. Okay. Your prize…this is one of Brea's favorite scents from Bath and Body Works. It is ginger and orange aromatherapy foaming hand soap.

Holy smokes.

I’ll set that right there for inspiration.

The best thing about this is I ran out of hand soap in my bathroom this week.

Shut. Up.

And so, I'm using one of my seasonal hand soaps. Cause I have them.

Yeah.

I'm a woman of a certain age so I have seasonal hand soaps and it's called Some Bunny Loves You and it's Easter.

This is more of a generic scent for you.  So here we go. Your question is, Brea, which of my searches was prompted while having coffee with Hopper a few weeks ago in a local hotel lobby? Now the reason I was in a local hotel lobby with Hopper is because there's a coffee place there that we had never been to and we wanted to try it.

I'm going to say, oh my gosh, the stakes are so high cause I love this soap and I need it.  What is kugelhof slash Gammon slash coulis?

That's wrong.

What?

It's wrong.

You said you were going to have an explanation.

I had to search this again because I drove by a VFW and thought, oh, I looked that up and now I can't remember the answer. So, it was a re-search, re-search search. The answer is, or do you want to try again? You know what? I'll give you another….

American Legion!

Oh, I just told you! We are….

Do the players on the show quarterback have to be quarterbacks?

Do I get another shot? Really? Okay. Great! American Legion versus VFW.

Oh, you're right! Oh, it's yours! You can have the soap! Good job!

I'm so smart!

Good job!

Thanks!

The reason that I searched it originally a few weeks ago was at this hotel, there was an American Legion huge conference going on there, American Legion people all over the place and Hopper and I were like, what is the American Legion? So, I looked it up and I searched it. The VFW and the American Legion are both organizations that serve veterans, but requirements for entry are different. So, VFW, you have to have served in combat overseas, veteran of foreign wars, while the American Legion is open to anyone that has served in the military. 

Very interesting. I've never even thought about what the distinction would be between the two of those. I like learning.

Hopper was there when it happened. She had some bad coffee that day. It was lavender honey.

Ew, no.

It was, it was awful. She stopped drinking it and so I tried some of it. It is horrible.

Ew, why would you pollute your coffee like that?

Well, we were trying something different.

Serves you right for trying something different.

Yeah, way to go Hopper.

[Interstitial music]

You and I have a shared history.

We do. It's vast; 20 years. And now we're going to share another kind of history, our search histories.

For the week.

Our remaining four.

Let's hear one of yours.

All right. Well, you really wanted that answer to be Teddy Roosevelt, Mount Rushmore.

I was very excited about that one.

Well, you've been there.

I have been there, sort of. It was under construction when we arrived. So, I didn't get up close, but I saw it from afar. 

Right.

Peyton and I were watching a History Channel dramatized docuseries. It’s kind of old like from 2010 and we’ve watched it before so, we’re rewatching it because we're nerds. And it's called “America, the Story of Us.” It's about the United States, not all of America, but you know, the part that counts, I guess.
I don't know.

Sorry Canada.

It goes chronologically from Europeans settling here to 2010.

Wow.

And there's an eclectic cast of historians and experts and you know, they have like dramatizations of the events, sometimes narrated by a Live Schreiber.

Oh.
Growl. And it has guest contributors like Tom Brokaw, Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Maher, Brian
Williams, Tim Gunn, John Lasseter.

Tim Gunn?

Yeah, there's just, like I said, it's very eclectic.

Make it work.

And then they have serious historian people that also are on there, but you wouldn't know their names, probably. So, what's the point of saying them?

Brian Williams, he's one of the ones that Peyton and I like the most because he's never going to live down that he lied, big time.

It's true.

About some things. Every time he comes up to talk about a historical event, Peyton and I say, ‘when I was there…’, and then we make up a scenario where Brian Williams was at the Battle of Bull Run or
whatever. ‘I caught a musket bullet in my knee. Let me tell you, the amputation was rough.’ You know, so we do our worst Brian Williams impersonations, and it never gets old, and we laugh about it. We were watching the episode that discussed the construction of Mount Rushmore. And I mentioned to Peyton that I never gave it much thought before, but it's kind of weird that Teddy Roosevelt is included on that monument because at the time that they started construction on it, he’d only been dead for like 10 years and had only been out of office for 20 years because he died pretty soon after he left office, and he was pretty young.

I was like, it's kind of like putting George Bush Senior or Bill Clinton, even though Bill Clinton's not dead, I know this, I'm not trying to spread a rumor, but putting one of them on a monument and equating them with the likes of two founding fathers and the great emancipator.

I'm following you.

I don't think his legacy was really tested by that time. He was so contemporary.

So, what did you find out when you searched?

Well, I just chalked it up to nepotism because his cousin FDR was in office at the time.

Oh…..oh, you think so?

But then Peyton astutely pointed out that he was instrumental in developing the national
park system.

Yes.

Oh, that's true. Oh, and that's a national park.

And it's a national park. 
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he was quite the American hero by then with his corruption busting and manly man,
no nonsense ways.

It turns out Peyton is more correct than I was.

That makes sense. I mean, not no. His reasoning makes sense to me.

It does make sense.

And it makes sense that he was right and I wasn't.

The sculptor chose the four faces that were going to be on there. And I still think he was sucking up to FDR.

I did not know that.

No, back in the day, they were just like, hey, we're doing this. 

Yeah.

And he was like, I think these guys and they were like, I like those guys. And that was good enough.

I wish more meetings went that way.

Yeah.

So, who do you think would have made a better choice? 

Can I have a week to think about that?

It's hard.

I really don't know.

I mean, should it have even been constructed at all is another question. It's kind of a middle finger to the native people in that area, right?

I mean….

I think it is.

A little bit. Yeah.

It's a lot of people who wanted you not to be around anymore.

Yeah.

And sent you out here.

Now we're going to put pictures.

I mean, it's not like it's Andrew Jackson up there.

That's true.

Andrew Jackson would have been a really poor choice.

Super poor.

I don't think he probably would have made it.

It probably would have been destroyed by now. Somebody would have figured out how to blow that off.

You know what?

When I think about, and this is because I'm simple, I'm going to say this in every podcast just to make sure everybody knows I know I'm simple. And when I look at the monument, my brain goes to how did they do that?

Right.

I'm not thinking about who they are. It just still blows my mind after all this time how it was created and how humans did that. It's impressive.

That's why I'm still kind of torn about it. It's iconic.

Yes.

And it's just one of those things that first of all, I can't imagine it not being there. And second of all, what it took to make that. It just, it's mind boggling to me.

It is.

But I do cringe when I think too much about it.

Don't think too much about it.

Take a page out of Cara's book.

Being simple sometimes is really good.

It has its benefits.

I'm not saying that I'm super complex or anything, but.

You think more than I do.

I think about stuff like that. Like man, I really want to see the crazy horse one.

It is amazing. We saw that.

It was one of the first things we went to the Badlands first and then we went to see Mount Rushmore.
When we couldn't get down there, we went to see Crazy Horse. It is really cool. It's not finished, but it is cool. By the way, if anybody wants to donate to the cause to continue to build that, you can. Just check it out. 

Google.

But it is so neat. It is really cool. How many times can I say how cool and neat it is? I took a picture of it.

Okay Cara.

My turn?

I want to hear about one of your searches.

I'm going to do Link flip shoes.

I'm intrigued.

You know how much I hate Crocs.

Yes.

I have a passion.

I've never owned any, but I heard they're really comfortable.

I've also heard that they're comfortable. It's fine. I'm not disparaging anyone who has crocs. It's a personal hatred of mine.

Well, when I had plantar fasciitis, let's talk about me some more.

My podiatrist said don't wear those.

Oh, is that right?

That was one of the things that was a no-no. I said no flip flops, no crocs.

Well, you might want to look into Link flip shoes.

Imagine a hot dog bun that you step on and then it hugs your foot and that's it.

You're selling it.

That's it. That's all there is to the shoe.

It's a hot dog bun that you step on and your foot goes down in the crack of the hot dog
bun and it molds itself around your foot.

It comes up the edges of this shoe just above your foot. So, imagine ballet shoes like ballet dress shoes, but there's nothing coming over your toes. They kind of freak me out actually. I was looking at videos of people wearing them and they are the most ridiculous things. Sorry to whoever invented them, but I don't like them. I don't like them at all. Instead of flip flops, they're calling them flip shoes and they claim you can run in them and that they're not slippery. There's videos of people skateboarding in them.

Did you find a video of them?

Yeah.

It's basically just like it covers the sole of your foot and that's it. So the whole top of your foot is exposed and it's like having boards on your feet sort of, but they're flexible.

Like hot dog buns.

It's sort of like…they don't look like hot dog buns.

That's the only thing I think of.

I was expecting them to look different based on your description.

What would you think?

I don't know. See, that's the thing. I'm having a hard time even…It's like a bread bowl.

An elongated bread bowl.

An elongated bread bowl. I knew we would come up with the right kind of bread to put on our feet.

It's so gross.

Feet bread.

Instagram said, hey, look at this Cara. I was like, ew, Instagram, no. Scroll.

I bought two things off of Instagram this week.

Are you serious?

I'm an idiot. I'm so bad. I see something and I'm like, well, I got to have that.

So, I bought some amazing toilet cleaner. 

So, what was the other thing you bought?

The other thing is a big old butt cushion.

See, this is what happens when I have to manage our social media. I go on there and I'm scroll, scroll, scroll.

Did you buy that with Delete this History money?

No, I did not because we have no money.

Butt cushion just like for your office chair?

Yeah.

It comes up, it curls up.

I know what you're talking about.

I've seen it.

You've seen the ads.

I had to get the extra-large version, which delighted me.

I think the next thing I want to talk about Cara is chat GPT.

Let's hear it.

For those who don't already know, which is probably nobody, because if I know about it, everybody knows about it. But GPT stands for Generative Pre-trained Transformer.

Now I didn't know what GPT stood for.

Does it clear it up for you?

It's crystal clear.

I read that and I was like, I still have no idea what the eff this thing does. No, I don't know what that means. It's basically AI that can give detailed answers or responses to prompts. And the answers or replies are very human-like. The interface is very basic, but Delete This History has an account now. Because I figured we could probably use it for some things. And here's why.

Okay.
You're going to love it because you have to ask it specific things.

Full questions. Right up my alley.

You don't have to, but that's how you get the best responses from it is by being specific and asking full questions and giving it context. So, you can say, ‘Hey, I need a tweet’ so it'll know how long it needs to be. Right? ‘I need a tweet that's punchy and funny and talks about my podcast, Delete This History,’
and then you could describe the podcast. And it will spit back out a tweet for you.

Nice.

How great is that?

Now everybody knows we're not going to write our own tweets.

They're probably relieved.

They probably will be way better than what we wrote.

Thank God they're getting somebody else, even if it is a robot, to write this shit. Anyway, it does incredibly quick calculations. It spits back crazy specific data and teachers hate it because they're like, what the heck? Because kids can put in ‘I need a 200-word essay about George Washington and make it 
eighth grade level. And you know, you can put in all these parameters, and it will give you exactly what you need.

Yeah.

And you could even say, put a couple of typos in there.

Man!

So, teachers are like, how the hell can I get kids not to use this? And how the hell do I know the difference?

Right.  Alan Alda had it wright a scene from MASH between him and BJ about Hawkeye's lucky boxer shorts. And he told it to make it funny. It was okay. He had to keep getting more and more specific.

Right. Yeah.  It'll give you something and then you'll say, eh, make it like this. So I did this and I told it, write a haiku about groundhogs.

Shut. Up.

Using the word whistle pig. Make it funny and whimsical.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

This was its first try. No, this was the second try.

Okay.

Because the first one I didn't, I was like, hmm, that's not so great. So, I just said regenerate. I didn't even give it more. I didn't even give it more parameters. I just said regenerate and spit out another one.
Whistle pig so sly, springs trickster neath the blue sky, shadows can't out fly.  So, I liked it and I gave it a thumbs up. I do like it. Because you're supposed to give it feedback.

Yeah.

Because that's how you train it. 

Right.

So, I gave it thumbs up and it said, why do you like it? And I said, well, I really like it because it is very whimsical. 

And it rhymes.

It rhymes. I really like that it rhymed. 

I was surprised it was rhyming.

And haikus don't normally rhyme. And I didn't tell it to, but it did. And I really liked that.

Okay.

So, then I told it not to mention groundhog day because I kept hitting regenerate and it just kept mentioning groundhog day and references to shadows and spring.

Oh, I'm with you.

Okay.

I was like, don't mention Groundhog Day. I don't want it to be about Groundhog Day.

Right.

I just like whistle pigs, okay? And I want it to be a generic whistle pig haiku. So, here's what it said.
Whistle pig surprise underground then pops on by, nature's peekaboo.

Ohhh.  Get out of town. That is the best haiku I maybe have heard ever.
I love it. That was really good. And that was a good search.

Yep.

That was interesting. Good job!

Why I really was searching about chat GPT is I wanted to figure out how it can make tweets for us. And I also wanted to see if it could automate the transcription process for our episodes.

Yes.

I was like, hey, maybe I can put in the raw transcription of this and it'll clean it up for me and I won't have to spend hours and hours doing this because that's what I did this week and I did not enjoy it. Short answer is no; our transcripts are too long.

Oh yeah.

And I thought, well, I could just put in like little bits and it would still be more efficient than me cleaning up the whole thing. And I haven't tried that yet, but I don't have high hopes.

Okay.

I think it's a great idea though. 

I think it's too, it's not going to be able to know when it's you and when it's me.

Yeah.

And that's what the time-consuming thing is. 

Yeah.

Is trying to separate out when you're talking, when I'm talking. So, anybody out there, if you're listening and you have a free or very cheap automated transcription service idea…

…that is good

…that I'm not going to have to spend hours and hours correcting. Let me know. Anyway, that is that.
That is chat GPT. It is the future.

You're so forward thinking. I was just going to type my tweets like a myself.

I'm lazy. I'm lazy.

Needs must.

I'm like, Oh, a free virtual assistant. Yes, please. Can you do my laundry? Chat GPT cannot do your laundry.

Loser.

Okay.

One of my searches was Ron Swanson approved times to cry. I don't remember why this came up.
Sean and I were talking about Ron Swanson and when he cried. So, I had to search it because I couldn't remember. So, just in case anybody wants to know, Ron Swanson says, and Ron Swanson is from Parks & Rec television show, Ron Swanson says the only to approved times to cry is at a funeral and when viewing the Grand Canyon.

Ron Swanson, the Teddy Roosevelt of our time.

I think if I remember correctly, he also cried when he heard that little Sebastian had died.

I believe you're correct.

So, he broke his own rule.

Yeah, that's true. That's it.

Wow.

There's all there is to that search.

This is Cara getting us back on time. I'm going to bust through this.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. I'm listening so hard.

This next one I'm going to do is muirburn.

Yes.

It's spelled M-U-I-R-B-U-R-N according to www.gov.scot as in Scotland. It's the intentional and controlled burning of moorland vegetation to encourage new growth of heather or grassland for the management of more land game and wildlife or for improving the grazing potential of the moor land for livestock or deer. It's typically a controlled burn, although some have gotten out of control. It's done in Scotland between the first of October and the middle of April when many native birds have migrated and won't be harmed by the burning. I was watching an episode of Grantchester.

Gotcha.

Because I effing love that show. I have PBS Passport. So, I binged the whole season in two days.

Oh my gosh.

One of the characters in the show mentioned that something reminded her of the smell of the muirburns of her homeland. And I was like, what the eff is that? Now, she pronounced it mereburn like we would here in the United States based on how it's spelled M-U-I-R-B-U-R-N-S, but I checked multiple sites to see how the Scots would pronounce it because I didn't want to sound like a dumb ass, but I probably still do.

Not at all.

It probably sounds way better in a Scottish accent. And it's often used as the last name here in the United States.

Yes.

So, there's at least one significant historical figure, John Muir. He was a 19th century naturalist and he kept invading my search results because his name is fittingly associated with a fire thanks to the 2019 California wildfires. One of the fires was called the Muir Fire.

Did he start it?

No, he’s been dead for a long time. But it was 67 acres in size and probably one of the smaller ones. But there's lots of things in nature like trails and things like that, that are named after him because he was one of the first naturalists in the United States.

Okay.  Oh, interesting.

And that doesn't mean he'd like to walk around naked. He actually cared about wildlife and nature.

I'm going to talk about why do migraines often start while you're sleeping.

Oh, please tell me.

So, this is actually interesting. I get migraines from time to time. I was talking about them at work with a coworker who also gets migraines. Don't get them as often as I used to. Thank goodness. This is what I discovered. Migraines are said to likely occur between four and nine a.m., which might suggest a timing mechanism that relates to sleep or circadian rhythms or both. And then it said lack of sleep and oversleeping are also well-known triggers of migraines. So, you know, yes, I'm very likely to have a migraine because I'm either under sleeping or oversleeping.

Yep.

I like to sleep. Sleep is important. That's really all I found out. I did a few more searches like how can you avoid migraines? How can you get your circadian rhythms? I couldn't figure anything out because there's not enough research done about migraines. There needs to be more research.

What's left on your list?

The last thing I have is Alan Carr's Adventures with Agatha Christie.

Is that a show title?

Yes.
OK.

Of course, because all I do is sit on my ass watching TV. Apparently. That's what this week's searches have told us all. 

Glad you got that butt cushion.

Geez, no wonder I need a butt cushion, the extra-large butt cushion.

It's all coming together.

Yes.

This show's on BritBox. Please sponsor us. And it was a delightful three-part mini-series that I watched with British comedian Alan Carr. I watch a lot of British panel shows like ‘QI’ and ‘Would I Lie to You’ and ‘Eight Out of Ten Cats.’ He's often a guest because he's hilarious and he's adorable and I love him.
And he's very camp. I mean, that's just part of his persona. I think he's a national treasure. But can you assign national treasures to nations that you do not live in?

Absolutely.

Well, I did.

Good job. I'm with you.

He has loved all things Agatha Christie since he was 13 and he was stuck on a rainy holiday and he read one of her Miss Marple books, I think. I'm going off memory. It was either Miss Marple or Poirot. And I love Poirot and Miss Marple, the shows. I'm not a big fan of Agatha Christie books.

OK.

I tried to read them, and I just don't get into them. But I do like the shows that they make out of Agatha Christie short stories and books and plays and blah, blah, blah. So, he traces Agatha Christie's steps as in some of the places where she lived, some of the places where she got inspiration. And there's some biographical stuff in there about her because she had a pretty interesting life. Then he also meets up with Christie subject matter experts because those exist, you know.

Of course, there is.

There's a subject matter expert for everything. And he dresses up like Miss Marple. Kind of silly. He's not being serious dressing up like Miss Marple.

Right. He's exaggerating it.

But then he dresses up like Poirot. And that was done more seriously. He even consulted a mustache club.

Yes. As one should.
And he consulted somebody who helped David Suchet learn how to do the Poirot walk.

Oh my gosh. I love David Suchet.

Me too.

He got the perfect stash for his costume. And then he went to a murder mystery night as Poirot. Anyway, it's silly and it's fun and it's delightful and you should look it up. I laughed out loud multiple times just because he's so funny. And you can tell he really, really loves that subject matter.

That always makes a show better.

Yes.

When someone is super passionate about the topic.

Yeah.

They're just so into it and he's just unashamed about it. And it's hilarious.

That actually leads right into my next search.

Perfect.

Because I am passionate about the British Baking show.

Me too.

But I'm so behind.

So, I love this show so much that I have on DVD, the first five seasons that PBS aired in America. And they're so good. I was at home on Monday rather than at work. And I decided to rewatch a season or start one of those old seasons to hang out with some old baking buddies. That's where what is kugelhof slash Gammon slash Coulis. That's my search.

I knew it was food related.

Yeah. So Kugelhof is a cake traditionally baked in a distinctive ring pan like a bundt cake. But the Kugelhof is leavened with baker's yeast, whereas most cakes do not use yeast as a rising agent. There are three main types of the Kugelhof. Coco, plain with a hint of vanilla and lemon zest. And then there's also a marbled combination of those two. Doesn't that sound amazing? Love me a lemon zest anything.

I love lemon cake.

I used to hate lemon. Remember that?

No.

I used to hate it and then I hit like 40 and some sort of switch flipped, my old lady switch, and now I love it. Lemon lemon lemon. It's like ‘give it to me!’

I didn't realize lemon was an old person thing.

I don't know that it is.

Gammon in British English is the hind leg of pork after it has been cured by dry salting or brining.

That is specific.

Strictly speaking, gammon is the bottom end of a whole side of bacon.

Okay.

I read this search like nine times and I still just like, okay, it's ham. But they were cooking with gammon. Someone put gammon in a hot water crust pie that they built up by hand. No, it looked delicious.

I don't know.

Give me some of that pie.

None of that sounds like a good combo.

The last thing I looked up was coulis, which is a thin fruit or vegetable puree used as a sauce.

A sauce.

A sauce.

I do like a coulis.

Like a raspberry coulis?

Oh yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yum.

That was the end of my searches.

You're making me hungry. Because all I had today is a lemon poppy seed muffin bar. 

I had oatmeal.

How nice and healthy of you.  Cara?

Yes?

What about this one?

What about this one?

[Interstitial music]

We don't have time to talk about every search.

Uh-uh.

So, here's a quick reading of a list of other searches we didn't have time for, but we'll possibly cover in a future bonus episode if requested. Threads, social media site. World Cup schedule. Peewee Herman Peewee’s Playhouse. Upload podcasts to all platforms. Social media planners. Bitlife reinstall restore purchases achievements.

You're welcome, Peyton!  Okay, here are mine. I had 30 searches this week.

Holy crap.

George Ezra Song Budapest. Is Jeff Goldblum married slash Gina Davis slash Emile Livingston slash Chip Chop Ham.  Bill Burr in Breaking Bad.  Oh, the alliteration there.  Idris Elba kickboxing documentary.
Where can I donate prescription glasses? Werther's Hard Candy. Home perms from the 80’s. Deaf area street sign. Alarm during United States versus Portugal women's soccer match. Paul Rubens, RIP.

One brain.

Ceiling fan direction during the summer. What does ‘get a bag’ mean? Honda Accord. Toyota Inventory.
Hypnic Headache, look that one up people. Bath and Body Works Coconut and Sandalwood Foaming Hand Soap Scent Combinations. Baby Swiss versus Swiss. And Blighty definition.

Oh my gosh, you weren't kidding.

It was a busy week. I was looking up a lot of stuff.

Man.

Anybody out there, if you're interested in hearing about any of those, let us know. Drop us an email.
Slide into our DMs.

They can reach us at Deletethishistorypodcast@gmail.com or @DTHGals on Instagram and Twitter.

Correct.

Tell us the parts that made you laugh out loud in this episode. Tell us what you're searching.

Tell us if you've looked up chilblains yet. I'm curious.
And how sick it made you. And rate and review us.

Absolutely.

Please.

Wherever you get your podcasts.

Please, please, please.

Tell your friends all the good things.

I want to say hello to all of our friends.

Hi guys!

Hi guys!

And now I gotta go delete my history.

Oh, me too.

“Delete This History” is created, written, hosted, produced and edited by Brea Brown and Cara
Burch.

Theme music is “So Good” by Orcas.

Email us at delete this history podcast at gmail.com.

Find us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook @DTHGals.

Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.

Brain fog and stuttering provided by old age and perimenopause.