All right, welcome back to the Dan time podcast
Dan McArdle here bringing you another exciting
episode and I can't believe it's number 98 so
knocking on our centennial episode in a couple
weeks here and The occasion like you saw the
calendar fell it falls where it wants to and
Who did we who did I talk to a couple weeks ago?
I think it was Travis for his birthday or something.
We had May 4th on a Sunday Yeah, May 4th last
so we did a best of Travis last week. I hope
you enjoyed that I Some of you might listen to
every second of every every episode so if you
did Maybe some of that was redundant. But for
the large majority of you, I really try to I
try to pull some select material for you. Okay
today as you know is Mother's Day, a very important
day on the calendar for a lot of people. If you're
listening and you didn't have the best relationship
with your mom, some of these holidays pop up
on the calendar and you're thinking, well, that's
great for everybody else, but not so great for
me. If that was the case, I recognize those listeners.
So with that in mind, and that's actually not
why I'm trying to segue into explaining this
guest today, but I've got My dear old dad back
on the show and you might remember him from the
Father's Day episode about a year ago or last
June And you might be wondering Dan. What are
you doing? It's Mother's Day get your mom on
the line What how rude? Well, there's a reason
why we're doing this and if you've been listening
for a while, you know that I try to go outside
the box a little bit so That's what we're doing
today. I did have a conversation as far as you're
concerned with my mother earlier today wished
her a happy Mother's Day And today and I want
to do some of this as we kind of get over the
100th episode I would like to talk about people
who are perhaps not around anymore. They're from
a bygone era From another century what have you
and I've got my dad on to We can't talk for hours
about this, but we can talk for a little bit
to talk about his mother my grandmother Who I
really only have childhood memories of and I'm
really excited to do this and very pleased to
welcome back my father Bob McArdle How are you
doing today? I'm doing great Daniel. It is Mother's
Day And I appreciate you squeezing me in because
you've got a lot of mothers in your life. I mean,
you've got a wife, you've got a mother -in -law,
you've got your own mother, of course. And as
we start, I was just thinking just something
about your own mother. When she moved to New
York, we were not married at the time, and she
was in Atlanta and I was in New York. And it
just wasn't working out the long distance romance.
And I said, look, I can't move back to Atlanta,
but you could possibly move up to New York. And
this is a little girl from Rock Chapel, Georgia.
Population 119 people to come to New York City
and live on 14th Street. So I just want to kick
this off a little bit by the word mother as it
is. said in New York City is a little bit different
than other places. Some places it's mama, some
places it's mother, some places it's mom, whatever.
But anyway, really quick, her first day in New
York City, this is your mother, Janie, she's
going down the subway to get on the subway to
go for a job interview in New York City. And
she has to stop because they're coming up the
subway with a body bag of somebody who has died.
in the subway and she has to stand at one side.
Little girl from Rockcast Chapel, Georgia, less
than 100 people. So she goes down, she's counting
out her money. and it was 25 cents to get a token
and she didn't realize she just needed to give
him a quarter and the guy behind the counter
was he was a real jerk and so she's counted it
out and she had a few pennies in there and she
subbed it in and she said I counted it all is
correct and he pushes it back and says no it's
not correct it's wrong and she counts it out
back again and she pushes it back and she says
I've counted it three times now I know it's right
And so he takes the money to one side, but he
takes the token where she can't reach it under
the cage. And then he flips his finger to flip
the token and it hits the sidewalk and rolls
around for her to go get it. And he looks at
her and he says, your mother. So with that introduction,
uh, we can go forward now. I do remember hearing
that story and wow, what a cold splash of water.
For mom welcome to New York Just imagine you
grew up in a town of a hundred people and now
There's more than a hundred people that live
in your building. So anyway I'm all yours Love
that story. I mean, I like it now I'm sure at
the time and I can I could always picture mob
in these scenarios Maybe what she wanted to say
I'm sure she's just not used to that type of
interaction, but. Yeah, I don't think they said
your mother in Rock Chapel, Georgia. I just don't
think that happened. But anyway, you wanted to
talk about my mother, your grandmother, but anyway,
I don't mean to take over your show. I've got
a few things to tell you, but you kick it off.
Mary Rose Crowe McArdle, my paternal grandmother.
And I knew her. I was out in the yard playing
with my oldest son, Warren, who's seven and a
half, call it, and almost eight. And I was thinking,
how old was I when Cammie died and doing the
math? I was about eight. I was eight, not quite
nine. And so I have these select memories of
her. I still vividly remember her voice or the
way that she would speak to me. I can kind of
sound it out, the, hey, sugar. There's a lot
I don't know and there's pictures that I've seen
that's all great and a lot of people I think
You know if you if your grandparent grandparents
weren't around a long time you do have a lot
of nice photographs to look at and You get around
the extended family from time to time and they
say they tell you a few things But we don't really
know that much unless you had them around for
most of your into your adulthood So that's something
I was curious about today my dad was the second
of six children and One thing we were talking
about earlier was I was always kind of fascinated.
What's it like when? you're old enough to have
memories five or six and There's you and an older
sister then you got a younger sister then you
got another one on the way How about what was
the earliest age that you remember? Gammie or
your mother walking around the house very very
pregnant and you maybe Ask her hey, what's that
in your belly or what? Why are you so? What are
you carrying there? Do you have do you have memories
of gammy being pregnant I? Do have very vivid
memories of Mother as we called her she always
insisted that we call her mother not mom not
not Mommy not but it was mother was very formal
that we called her mother. And quite frankly,
it's hard not to remember her pregnant because
she was pregnant most of my early life. I did
some quick math and Serena, the oldest, was born
in 1943 and Rosemary was born in 1956. That's
13 years. and she had 16 children in 13 years.
She also had four miscarriages. Yeah, six in
13 years. So, I mean, she was, she was shooting
them out. You know, she was, she was fulfilling
the Catholic Church's proclamation, you know,
to multiply. You did mention, I usually don't
butt in, but the four miscarriages have been
generally familiar now that you bring it up.
Back then, I guess every situation is different,
but do you remember there being kind of a Sorrow
that your mother carried during those periods
where that happened or did you not really notice
much a miss? You know, I really don't because
she always there was she never expressed any
pain or you know discomfort or what have you
I only learned about the miscarriages later in
life because I mean, by the time Rosemary was
born, you know, that was 1956. So I was what?
Maybe 12. So, no, I would not have been, you
know, I only learned about it afterwards. And
then I started doing the calculation saying you
had six children in 13 years. That's one every
two years. And then you also lost three, you
know, so there could have been 10 now. We always
laugh about, well, who would that cut out? I
mean, I was in, Serena was in, but I don't know,
Margaret, Martina, you know, who could have been
out in all those years. But anyway, just the
fact that she was pregnant most of her life.
Most of her, not life, but most of that time
between, you know, 1943 and 1956. Also the sequence
where there's a girl, then there's a boy. then
there's a girl, then there's a girl, then there's
another boy. But the sequence when you're kind
of still a kid and it's you and three girls,
if that's right, as they're coming along, is
there less and less time for little Robert? Are
you able to access your mother with just random
questions? Are you able to pull on the apron
and or she's kind of saying, hey, get out of
the house. It's a beautiful day. You need to
stay out. Just get out of here. What was that?
What was that like it at that age? It was not
good from my point of view as I look back on
it Not good at all. I mean, you know, I lived
in a house of women and you know My dad he worked,
you know shift work. So I mean he was really
never home so it was just me and all these women
and If you ever live with a bunch of women and
I you know, I mean this respectfully to your
your listeners and your subscribers and even
to my sisters. But I like to tell the story was
I never had a dry towel in my life until I went
off to college because there was me and three
sisters and they took baths and when you take
a bath, I'm pretty good with one towel. I can
get away with Really a half a towel. I mean a
towel for me would last three days, you know
They would take three towels for for each bath.
So and we only had so much money There was so
many times anyway, just the point was there were
all these and then there was Easter and you know
Easter Sunday or Saturday night before Easter
They put all this shit on their hair. They just
stuck like hell. I mean was this smelled like,
uh, ammonia or something. I had to leave the
house to get out of it. And so it was just living
with all these girls and all the stuff that they
had to do. And then, oh, there's, there's, there's,
there's Robert as she called me, not Robert,
but Robert. There was Robert over here and I'm
out playing baseball. I'm riding my bicycle.
I'm smoking cigarettes at 10 years old. I'm,
I'm doing stuff that little boys do, you know,
And and then I just I can't get a I can't get
a dry towel and finally when I went to college
You know, I was able to take a shower with a
dry towel so that was what it was like living
up with my sisters and I love them dearly and
And even today I love them dearly but those days,
you know No dry towel is pretty tough. I could
just picture that and Did what they hang them
up at least over that shower bar? to dry or were
they crumpled? Did you have to pick up something
off the floor and just, oh, of course this is
soaking wet. Well, Daniel, you said the magic
word. You said shower bar. We had a three bedroom,
one bathroom house for eight people. So, you
know, mother and daddy had a bedroom. I had a
bedroom and the four girls had a bedroom. And
then we had this one bathroom. The shower, we
didn't know what it was. We read something about
in advanced civilization, there's going to be
showers someday, but we just had a bathtub and
it filled up the bathtub. And of course it was
just dirty as it could be because, you know,
they didn't clean anything. So anyway, the towels
were just piled up in the floor in the corner.
So no, there were no hanging towels. What a way
to live. Well, we could spend a whole episode
just talking about your experience as a youth
with those girls and And all that but let's kind
of shift forward a few years. How's your relationship
with? With your mother at this time when you're
college age, but you know, not everybody's going
to college at that time Tell me how The University
of Alabama comes into play and is she proud of
you? Is she are you guys talk on the phone a
lot? Well, I mean, first of all, there were no
phones. You said talk on the phone. No, we had
a rotary dial phone, one line. So there was no,
no phones, but, but, but to answer your question
more succinctly, uh, I had, I really had a great
relationship with her and mother or is, is we
later started to call her Gammie because that
was her, you know, the grandchildren named her
that. But anyway, she had this unique ability
to be the I mean, if everyone in the world could
have a mother like Mary Rose Crowe McArdle, this
would be a much better world because she had
six children and we were all different, whatever,
but she made all six of us feel like we were
her favorites. She made me feel like I was her
favorite, you know, and we play that back and
forth with everybody now, but she just had that
ability to do that. As I got a little bit older,
more in high school, and then we began to assume
a little bit more of the financial obligation
to keep the family household going, just in terms
of food and rent and what have you. And so we
all had part -time jobs. I mean, starting at
age 13, I was... cutting grass or doing something.
And the girls later were working at part -time
jobs and we all brought money home. So we were
sort of the typical Irish Catholic. We weren't
impoverished, but we were on the border. We got
free lunch at school and we got some other benefits,
but what have you, but we all. chip money into
the pot every month to make sure the rent was
paid and there was food on the table. So, you
know, I would have conversations with her as
I got older, you know, about that just on a financial
basis. And then as I got into college, you know,
we would have, you know, I was the only one in
the family, in all the McArdle family, not the
Crow family, but the McArdle family that went
to college. And I had loans and what have you
so she was very very proud of me and and I was
very financially supportive I could take this
a lot further along but I think you get the point
Yeah, and I also wanted to as you were talking
there about the family being a strong unit The
holiday season has always been a special time
when I was growing up. I knew that Christmas
time was very important to you because we always
from the time I was very young even here in the
past several years we a little more time apart
or Time between our gatherings, but there's always
these what we call the horde for those of you
listening There's a name for our extended family
the horde When did you know that Christmas was
a big deal in your house? Do you know how old
you were and did? Your mother and gammy to me
that she really prioritize Christmas and You
guys aren't upper middle class certainly or even
middle class, but are you happy around the holidays?
You know that that is such an insightful question
that goes right to the psychic of growing up
In a family like I did but I do remember that
that Christmas You got one toy not not You know
two dolls or three hundred dolls you got you
got one toy. I hope you include this in the thing
So you had to choose real quick what it was you
wanted so you got one toy and then you had a
stocking and The stocking would have some fruit
in it and some candy, but it would be like You
know, fruit, but it would be more like walnuts,
but they were hard walnuts. You had to crack
them to get them open. There'll be some walnuts
and some candy in the stocking. And then there
would be the one toy that you wanted. So you
got to choose. But generally, you know, you would
get that one toy and I remember getting a pool
table. It was a small, we talk about pool tables.
I mean, this thing was like 14 inches by 30 inches.
God knows they had to take out a loan or get
some money from somebody, but it was just this
really small pool table with pool balls, you
know, about one inch. Anyway, so that was my
toy. That year other times it would be you know
a glove a baseball glove But you so anyway, you
get the point you got you got the 120. Oh, yeah
I mean it was a it was a big effing deal and
And of course the girls, you know, they'd get
you know, 300 dolls or whatever You know They'd
get whatever they wanted So I was always happy
at Christmas Um, okay. How about this? Did did
she ever go or can you remember being? eight
nine or ten or eleven and going with your mother
to Anywhere in public the store or somewhere
to pay the gas bill where you got to stand in
line You got to interact with people. Did you
ever observe? I'm sure you did but do you remember
how she handled herself in public because I think
that's something that children Observe, I certainly
remember you know how you interacted with somebody
at a hotel desk or a restaurant server or wherever
Same with mom. Did you notice things like that?
And were there some takeaways? Oh Daniel You
are the journalist. I mean, you know, you really
should make a living in journalism, but They
don't pay any money, you know picking up shit
You know, it pays you a lot more money than you're,
but anyway, you're exactly right. Yes. I mean,
she would always say, okay, now we're going to
go into this store and you don't have to say
anything. You just let me handle it or whatever
they have, whatever it was going to be, or maybe
we were going to get a pair of shoes and she
would get a pair of shoes and she would stick,
you know, cardboard in the bottom of the shoes
so that it didn't show out. And, uh, but, but
when we ever went out in public, it was like,
we have no problems. We're just as rich as everybody
in lower Hensley. You know, and we're here to
pay the power bill so you can get the power turned
back on because it's been turned off for four
days or something. And she would have to take
us with her to do that, but she just had such
class and such. She could talk in a form that
it wasn't begging, it wasn't anything. She would
be there and she'd have on her perfect dress
with a hat, not a veil. She only wore the veil
to church, but she would be dressed up and we'd
go down to the power company and she would pay
the power to get the power turned back on, which
had been off for a week. And, uh, but that was
just her style. She knew how to be effective
when it was time to get something accomplished
like that. Yeah. And then the interesting thing,
and I don't know how you're going to wove this
back into the interview or anything, but she
came from a very prominent family in Mississippi
and Meridian, Mississippi. And the family was,
was quite well off. But her father died in an
automobile accident at a very early age when
she was only like six years old or something.
He was a banker. But this was just before the
depression, just before the war, and just before
everything else that went bad. So she did grow
up in a family that they were affluent, but...
Her mother knew we're really not as affluent
as we were before the depression and the crash,
you know, and the war. I mean, we've got some
money in the bank or what have you. We talk about
that on another episode, but, you know, I mean,
her family was quite well -off and quite well
-educated. But here we are in... And some perspective.
She was born in, and correct me if I'm wrong,
19... Uh, yeah, 1916, 1917. Uh, yeah, exactly.
So around the depression that she's just a young
girl when that's happening. Yeah. I mean, she
went off to, uh, St. Vincent's nursing school,
uh, in Birmingham, Alabama. You know, somebody
had to pay for that, you know, in 1930 something.
This is the height of depression. And, uh, so
she goes off to nursing school there. And then
she meets Granddaddy McArdle, which is a whole
other story about how they met and everything
else we can talk about some other time. But,
you know, they were able to pay her tuition,
you know, to go to this private Catholic nursing
school in Birmingham and come out of it, you
know, with an RN degree, you know, and then,
you know, go on. And I think she only practiced
as a nurse for several years before she started
having all these babies. How about is the years
move on and you've now started a family and all
three of us are born and It's it's Mother's Day
You know 82 or something Are you calling her
like clockwork at a certain time back? Then do
you know when you can reach her are you having
conversations? how Yeah, the yeah the Mother's
Day connection and just how you're communicating
with Gammie as you're kind of globetrotting,
so to speak. Globetrotting is a great word for
me. I mean, I, you know, being the first college
graduate and, you know, going into the military
and getting my, you know, I made captain. And
so I was sort of a, you know, a success story.
And I was full of it, you know, it filled my
head with a bunch of shit, which really wasn't
all that important. But at the time, I always
called her every Sunday. It didn't matter where
I was in the world or when I was in Germany.
I would call her as much as I could. But anyway,
when I came back and I got on the. what I call
the merry -go -round, you know, chasing the brass
ring, moving from New York to Chicago to Pittsburgh,
all that stuff that you went through. You know,
I still, every Sunday, I would call Gammie, you
know, to talk to her, and it would always be
in the afternoon because I knew that she had
gone to church or whatever. So we talked at least
once a week all those years.