I just made a huge change in my life. I realized
that I am fundamentally, I'm missing something
fundamental, something fundamental in my message
on YouTube and also in my own life, my personal
development and everything relating to that,
whether it's like spiritual, mental, intellectual,
whatever that is. everything relating to that,
I'm missing a fundamental element. And so one
of the things that I identified that I'm missing
in my YouTube channel is I want to be able to
make videos that actually completely transform
people's lives. not just videos that tell people
what to do, tell people that they're messing
up. I want to make videos that people watch and
their life completely changes as a result. And
so over the past couple years, I've been learning
how to do that. It started with, after I started
taking YouTube seriously, working on the editing
and all that, I started to realize, oh, I actually
want to start having like, almost a storyline
but just having like simple b -roll footage and
then it evolved to I identified that I wanted
to utilize music to evoke emotion and also to
have that transformative element so I spent like
two months locked in my locked in my room learning
how to make music so that I can reapply that
to my YouTube videos so that they're just a little
bit closer to being able to completely transform
people's lives But the most recent thing that
I identified that I'm missing, the first thing
that I identified was that I want to be able
to get people to think for themselves. So people
don't actually change unless they think for themselves.
And this is something that I've been acutely
aware of in my life. How whenever I was like
back in the day when I had bad habits I remember
I would eat like a bunch of candy and then I
would think to myself afterwards with a terrible
stomach ache and I would just basically in my
mind's eye I would just focus all of my thought
like focus all my attention on the pain and I'm
like Why did I like, why do I eat candy? Like
this is disgusting. And I basically learned to
identify that pain with candy. And that was my
process for thinking for myself. And then I also
use that same process, but in a different way
with other things. Like, um, um, I can't think
of a exact example right now, but whenever I,
whenever there's something I always just think
to myself, Like I was talking to a new friend
the other day and we were talking for like four
hours about just like a bunch of stuff but we
had like this long conversation and he was doing
the majority of the talking I was just listening
soaking up all the information and I realized
that at the end of the conversation he said that
I'm not a yes man which is like Someone who always
agrees and just doesn't really think for themselves.
He said that you like challenge my worldview
and you you try and test my ideas that I say
to you or that I share and Throughout that conversation
he would say something and I'm like, oh wait,
what does that mean like? Explained that and
then after I understood it I applied it to something
else for example We were talking about he was
bringing up this new concept that I'd never heard
of called like the difference between objective
morality and subjective morality and He was explaining
all this stuff and then after he finished explaining
it I was I basically put it to the test and I
was like, okay Well, and I came up with different
scenarios to test if objective Subject or objective
morality was possible. And so I would say like
well on I heard about this tribal island like
this island tribe of hunter -gatherers back in
the day where they would have to do like a Sacrifice
they would have to sacrifice their own people
every once in a while or else overpopulation
would occur because if you have, and then if
overpopulation occurs on an island with limited
food, then everyone dies. And so they had to
do, like they had to do routine sacrifices of
their own people. And so I basically applied
objective morality to that situation and questioned
him. Like, well, were they objectively moral?
And then like, basically that's like, me thinking
for myself, like I was thinking through this
new idea and concept that I was exposed to and
seeing if it applied to like different situations.
And so, and this, like this same concept of me
thinking, whether it's like associating the pain
of eating candy, like associating the pain of
digesting all that food, all the candy and thinking
about that or thinking about a new idea or concept
that I'm exposed to. And that also, that thinking
process is also relevant in any other aspect
of life. And that's something that I've been
acutely aware that I utilize, but not everyone
does. And I believe that if people utilize it,
then they would change their behavior. And I
think that I realized that one of the missing
pieces to my videos is that there is no thinking
for yourself. It's just me talk, talk, talk,
talk, talk. I don't know how to get people to
think for themselves. And if they can't think
for themselves, then they're not gonna actually
change. And that's why I realized that I was
missing a truly fundamental skill in my ability
to make transformative videos, which is getting
people to think for themselves. And so I, after
pondering, I intuitively understood that Not
intellectually, this is a key piece of information.
I didn't intellectually decide to become a door
-to -door salesman. I intuitively knew that if
I trained as a door -to -door salesman, then
I would learn all of the skills involved with
allowing people to think for themselves. Plus,
I've also noticed that one of my Huge weaknesses
is on my social side of things of my social abilities
and my charisma and like Just social confidence
like all that stuff That's my that's my biggest
weakness in my personal development right now
everything related to the social side So I knew
that becoming a door -to -door salesman would
help with the skill. I needed to learn for being
able to make transformative videos, but also
just help with my personal development, which
also includes being able to make transformative
videos. So that is the big shift that I made
where I actually completely put my YouTube channel
on pause and I went and applied for a job as
a door -to -door salesman. And then I went and
the thing about that is for like the two weeks
leading up to it, I actually had this lingering
foot. kind of like achiness but I just thought
that it was going to heal on itself so because
it didn't really hurt and it wasn't really affecting
anything and then I went and walked with this
guy who was basically doing the interview as
for door -to -door sales and We walked for like
four or six hours and the next morning I woke
up with like my foot was blown up like it was
super achy Super weak. I couldn't walk I had
to limp and I knew that I couldn't take the job
I had to wait until I was fully healed So that's
what I've been doing for the past two weeks that
happened two weeks ago So for the past two weeks,
I've literally just been my primary focus has
been just healing my foot now That brings me
to this current stage where since I put YouTube
on pause and I went all into sales, but now I
can't do sales. I'm literally just kind of in
a stagnant period, but it's not the same type
of stagnant period as I've been in the past.
I actually clinged it to something. I drifted
naturally towards meditation. So I started doing
the gateway process again, which I Darted two
years ago, but then I stopped after a while because
of the reason why I stopped was because I thought
that it was basically hurting my progress because
I couldn't reach levels of focus and calmness
that I had in the past before I started the gateway
or when I first started the gateway, but in hindsight
I realized that the issue was that I was using
the gateway as a crutch the and what I mean by
the gateway is I listened to their hemisync,
like binaural beat gateway tapes, like the gateway
experience tapes that are recordings of like
guided meditation sessions that have binaural
beats, which help get your brain into a heightened
state of awareness. And so I used to use that
as a crutch, not when I first started the gateway,
excuse me, not when I first started the gateway
experience, but when I got, when I got into the
habit as in like I just it became routine and
I stopped developing I stopped being intentional
and I basically just Stopped really trying to
progress in meditation and as a result I felt
like I lost progress and I blamed it on the gateway
tapes But the real reason was because I simply
just stopped trying and I thought the gateway
tapes were just gonna produce all the change
in me for me But I actually had to do it for
myself and they actually say that in the tapes
that The tapes don't change you. You have to
change yourself. And learning of this mistake,
I started doing the gateway tapes again. And
now I'm actually starting to experience some
of the things that people talk about. For example,
I reached focus 15, which is like a state of
timeless. Like maybe not bliss, but just a state
of timelessness. You don't really experience
time, but I didn't reach it for very long. I
was, my focus with the meditation is so that
I can heal my feet. So I wanted to basically
just focus my attention on healing my feet. And
on this particular meditation session, I wanted
to have help because I heard of like, other beings,
like non physical beings that you can meet up
with. And so I was like, okay, let's see if this
is legit. And so I was like, I want help healing
my foot. I just wanted someone to heal my foot.
And so I've reached focus 15, which I'd never
reached before. And in that moment, I just felt
this like other being the room with me sitting
like standing above my foot and like holding
my foot and then I could feel symptoms in my
foot of like healing symptoms and I could feel
the being and I could vaguely see it like through
my closed eyes and then it didn't feel like a
godly thing it just felt like almost like my
equal, like a friend or like just like an equal.
It didn't feel like I was worshiping anything
or it didn't feel anything like crazy. It just
felt like another almost like another like equal
is basically the best word for it. But that only
happened for like two seconds maybe, maybe two
or three seconds. And then I was like, whoa,
what's that? My rational mind popped up and I
was like, whoa, what's that? And then instantly
disappeared and I haven't had an experience since
that that happened maybe like two weeks ago or
maybe less than that and I haven't had another
experience of like another being like that but
I have noticed that I have gotten a lot better
meditation and I actually stopped doing the gateway
again because like two days ago I stopped listening
to the tapes just in favor of just meditating
on my own Without the tapes because I wanted
to do free flow exercise and I feel like I want
to practice without the tapes for a little while
not any not any reason against the tapes but
just because I want to practice it on my own
and I don't have the third wave of the tape so
I've just been doing the first two sets and I've
been trying to get to focus 15 which is not until
the fifth wave but I've been doing anyways on
like a second wave because I only bought the
first two waves because I don't have any more
money for the anymore but that's besides the
point basically I've just been meditating my
original intention was to meditate and learn
how to heal my foot and Now I've kind of just
started to shift and started to focus more on
just like practicing my skill because I've been
reading a lot about the I've been reading a lot
of stories and Just of people's experiences in
the in the past like two years ago when I first
got into the gateway But also in recent time
of people's experiences with meditation and also
out of body experiences. So I've been reading
Bob Monroe's first book, which is journeys out
of the body. And I'm about to finish that. I'm
probably going to finish it today. And it has
just opened my mind up to so many things. And
earlier in this podcast episode, I said that
there were two things that I realized that was
missing. The first fundamental thing was me.
Not being able to get people to think for themselves
and how I'm gonna learn to improve like to build
that skill is through door -to -door sales But
there was a second one and the second one is
something so Unknown to me Like practically that
I don't know how to put it to words But the best
way I can describe it is kind of describing around
it. So, you know how in like the spiritual space,
religious spaces, spiritual spaces, like in most
spiritual talk, it's all kind of like abstract.
Like, oh, God, divine, divinity, all that stuff.
It's all abstract. It's all everything in my
experience, at least. The majority of Western
cultures, religious experiences or knowledge
is all abstract ideas in the clouds of your mind
it's not it's not based off of direct experience
and I'm not discrediting like I've heard lots
of testimonies of things this is not what I'm
talking about of how people say like oh all the
events lined perfectly this should not have happened
where this person talked to me in a very dark
period in my life and It completely changed my
life. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking
about how Like when you go to church and you
listen to the pastor talk about like God It's
not based off of direct experience. It's based
off of intellectual abstractions. And here's
what I mean. Let's say I wanted to use the word
pen, as in like the writing utensil, a pen that
you use to write on a piece of paper. If I use
that word, basically every single person listening
to me say that word knows exactly what I'm. Talking
about because they have direct experience using
a pen to write things down They know what it
does. They know what it looks like. They know
all the different like a lot of different variations
They have direct experience like I'm literally
holding a pen in my hand right now so that I
can label That object pen and now other people
know what I mean by that but the issue with like
talks of like religion and stuff like that is
People don't or at least I've never had a direct
experience with God as in like literally in front
of you talking to another physical being or maybe
not even a physical being but like The perfect
example is the original Revelations like if you
read the Bible like you hear about revelations
from all like a lots of different religious feet
religious people As a rule, only religious leaders
have had direct experience with what I'm talking
about, like religious symbols, as in like God,
divinity, and all that stuff. And as a result,
they basically interpret it and create a whole
religion. Like that's pretty much all the Western
religions, even like, or maybe not all, but a
lot of the... lot of the religions were based
off of the leaders in those religions or the
the writers of the Bible having divine revelations
that's direct experience and those people are
able to label and put words to that experience
and Communicate that to other people but the
issue is no one else had those experiences No
one else was walking down the road one day and
all of a sudden an angel started talking to them.
No one else had that direct experience. And so
as a result, the other people have no other choice
but to create an abstract idea, an intellectual
abstract idea in their mind, in the clouds of
their mind. It's not based off of true experience.
that's what I realized is a huge flaw with religion
is that it's it's not based off of real like
personal experience it's based off of faith or
belief in someone else's personal experience
after they interpreted it and then after they
told other people or wrote it down and then those
books were interpreted so it's very far removed
from daily experience. Now here's where it gets
to, here's where everything ties back to the
two fundamental things that I'm missing. The
first one, like I said, is my ability to get
people to think for themselves. And the thing
that I'm gonna do to fix that, or to learn that
skill, is to train as a door -to -door salesman.
Now the second one is that I don't have any direct
experience with so -called religious or spiritual
things. And now I'm a little reserved of describing
it like religious and spiritual things for the
reason that I realize that there are certain
individuals, for example, Robert Monroe, who
describe these experiences in matter of fact.
Not like all Important or not like in in awe
or like in praise or whatever if you like I just
finished reading journeys out of the body and
then listen to Robert Monroe's Explorer tapes
number 23 and If you go and listen to that or
read the book and then listen to that you may
understand a little bit of what I'm trying to
get at but There are certain types of people
who actually describe them as matter of fact
and as fundamental parts of life, I guess. And
they don't really describe it as religious. I'm
just learning. Intellectually, I'm just learning
about these. This is just, this is the second
fundamental thing that I'm missing. The first
-hand experience of something like that. Now,
from the religious perspective, if there is something
so powerful as like God or like all that, don't
you think that it would be priority number one
to obtain first -hand experience? that in your
own life because that is something that will
fundamentally alter the trajectory of your future
now this ties back to two things the first one
is what I talked about in last month's episode
where I've been in search of ideas or things
that will fundamentally alter the future or fundamentally
alter my future in a similar way to reality trans
surfing did two and a half years ago But I feel
like I'm looking for something deeper, something
more experiential, and less abstract, less intellectual,
like rally transsurfing is. It's just ideas,
but it's not really. It is firsthand experience
if you apply it, which I did, and I am currently,
and I am doing, but I'm looking for something
more. And so the second thing that it connects
to is My my current life philosophy last night.
I've kind of been developing this life philosophy
or like here and there pondering it but last
night as I was falling asleep I had the like
intuition and I just wrote it down in my journal
and basically my life philosophy as of right
now is that Life is a game of choices You don't
necessarily get to choose what choices are available
to you, but you get to choose, you get to make
your own decisions based off of the choices that
are presented to you. But you don't actually
know every choice. Like there's possibilities
that you can do that you're potentially unaware
of. For example, if you don't know Spanish, and
you've never even heard of that language before,
you're not going to write down on a piece of
paper an essay in Spanish. That's like one choice
that you can make. That's one action you can
take in life, just like an action of picking
up an apple and eating it, or listening to this
podcast episode. Writing an essay in Spanish
is one choice you can make, but simply because
you haven't been exposed to one, the language
of Spanish, but also you don't know Spanish.
You're not fluent in Spanish. So that choice
is basically you can't make that choice I mean
theoretically you could your hands could move
like you could Get your hand to move in the perfect
positions to where you could write an entire
essay that makes sense in Spanish without actually
understanding it but that's not a Choice that
you're likely to make simply because you're unaware
of it. And so this leads back to my my second
or it actually leads back to the two fundamental
things that I'm missing of the getting people
to think for themselves and also like the experience
of something greater, I guess. Like the religious,
spiritual, mystical, whatever you may call it,
but the experience of something more. It leads
back to that because if I don't have those fundamental
things, then I'm not going to be aware of the
choices that they Allow me to make Those choices
are currently available to me But I'm not gonna
be able to make them because I'm not exposed
to the ideas and experiences or skill Meditation
and like spiritual things. I believe is a skill
that you can learn it's like it's like a Like
any skill that you have to learn that's why it
takes like monks 30 years and then they're able
to achieve like states of enlightenment that
No ordinary person in modern society can even
get close to achieving, potentially even with
drugs or something. I don't know. But that's
why I've really been focusing on these fundamental
things that I'm missing, because then that will
allow me to make, or it'll expose me to better
choices, better options, better possibilities,
greater possibilities. But that's only the first
part of the philosophy. My life philosophy of
life is a game. Or life is a game of choices.
You don't necessarily get to choose the choices
that are available to you, but you get to choose
what decisions you make of the choices that are
available to you. And the second part is that
your Compass basically like your your way to
know that you're making the right choices because
there is I believe that there are Good and bad
choices. Maybe not in a morality sense because
that's probably subjective, but I think that
there are actual According to like the laws of
nature. I think that there are better choices
than not as in like there's a reason why no one
like sticks their hand in burning hot lava because
that's a poor choice to make like according to
the laws of nature if you stick your hand in
boiling hot lava from a volcano then you're gonna
lose your hand and then for the rest of your
life you don't have a hand like that according
to the laws of nature is a bad choice. And that's
what I'm getting at with good and bad. I'm not
talking about morality. I'm not talking about
intellectuality. I'm talking about, according
to the laws of nature, there are certain things
that you can do that are good or bad. And it's
a spectrum. As in, you could make a neutral decision.
That doesn't really matter. I'm picking up this
pen right now. That doesn't really matter to
anything. The closer you are aligned to the laws
of nature the more you're able to make better
choices and I'm not even sure if I've been exposed
to the absolute perfect choices and But the second
part of my life philosophy is that the your tool
to know how good of choices you're making is
your happiness level If you are unhappy, then
you are making poor choices, poor decisions in
this game of life. Whether it's like your thought
process, your actions, whatever it is, you're
making poor decisions. But if you are happy,
then you're making better decisions, closer to
alignment with nature, like the natural laws,
the laws of nature. That brings me back to the
fundamental, the second fundamental thing that
I'm missing of like the, the greater experience.
I think that if I build that skill, then I'll
be exposed to greater choices and I'll be making
much better choices. Like lot like literally
better choices according to the laws of nature.
But I currently have the inability to do so because
I don't have the skill. And the reason why, or
one of the things that I've been really fascinated
by lately is the fact that, for example, Robert
Monroe talks about these things these experiences
like literally going out of your body similar
to how you do every single night in a dream which
most people don't even remember but he talks
about them matter of factly and he talks about
his experiences just how it is and there's just
something to it that just makes me realize that
I It's so hard for me. I'm at the early stages
of this I it's so hard for me to put the words
what I'm trying to express But I just know that
there's more and I'm exploring more options But
that's basically it for This month's episode
right now. I'm just meditating and healing my
foot and then once my foot gets healed I'm starting
that job And I have lots of potentialalities
that I'm thinking of for the future. And the
future is looking exciting. So have a good day.
And I'll see you next month. Goodbye.