Last month I had a little preview.
I was foreshadowing the thing that I was working on
and I wasn't gonna reveal it until this month.
Now it's because I was planning on actually doing it.
And I did for one week.
Here's what I did.
The thing that I was planning on doing
was learning how to play the guitar.
Now for some context, about three months ago,
on September 20th, 2024,
I started learning how to play the piano
so that I could make music for my YouTube videos.
And one of my original desires was to play the piano
in my music and have a, or play the piano in my videos
and have it kind of as a secondary story.
So I could record myself playing the background music
and cut to me playing it throughout the video.
So it'll be like a little story.
And I actually saw a YouTube video.
Some guy commented on my, one of my videos recently,
my really bad video.
It was the one, it was like my time capsule video.
And he commented and I'd never seen him before.
So I checked out his channel
and he's actually posting similar content to me
and he's got pretty good content.
And I saw his most recent video and he actually does that.
And I really liked it.
And I'm, I just saw that video today
where he has his actual video,
but then he's got like a secondary story
of him playing the music, the background music.
It's kind of like a music video,
but educational and good or well,
music videos are good too.
It's different.
And here is what I,
but I actually didn't end up doing that
because I just wanted to make the actual music online
using different instruments and stuff.
And I'll play you my most recent song
that I finished working on this morning.
But the reason why I don't want to make the videos
with me playing the piano as a story element
is because I like having like different instruments
and different produced sounds in the background.
I think that it'll be more powerful
if I'm able to make just better music
than having that as a secondary story.
And so instead, last month,
I started having a desire to learn how to play guitar.
So I thought, oh, maybe that's what I was gonna do.
Instead of playing piano, I could have a guitar part.
So I could have me playing like chords on the guitar.
And in the background,
also have that as the part of the song
of the actual score for the video.
And so I started learning how to play piano
and I actually started memorizing like all the notes.
It is actually insane.
If you know all the notes, it takes like a month.
And I was putting in hours into memorizing the notes.
With piano, you just have to memorize like 13 positions
and it repeats across the entire board.
But if you want to do the same thing with guitar,
where if you look at a note,
you instantly know which one it is
without having to count like with the second one.
So if you only know the C note in that particular area,
then you'd have to count up half steps to like C sharp, D.
Oh wait, I don't even know what I'm, yeah, D.
C sharp, D, D sharp, E.
And you just have to keep counting.
But if you want to know it instantly,
like look at that fret and say,
oh, that's E, then you have to be able
to memorize every single position.
And with piano, there's only 13 shapes to memorize,
13 positions, all seven white keys,
and then all five black notes,
which are like the sharps and flats.
But with guitar, there is no such like,
of no such repetition.
You have to know like, you have to memorize like 48 positions
or like 60.
I don't even, I did the math.
It was like around maybe 60 notes.
I don't know how, I forgot how much it was,
but it was a lot.
You have to memorize 60 things.
And it's not just memorizing it
because I did end up memorizing them all.
You have to memorize them and be able to instantly say
and instantly know what it is.
So I'm looking at the D note on the piano
and I don't even have to think about it.
I just know this is D, this is G.
I know. But with guitar, you also have to know that too.
And I actually memorized a lot of it,
but I didn't memorize it like instantly.
And then after a while, I realized,
after like a week, I realized I wasn't as motivated,
as inspired to learn how to play guitar.
So that was a telltale indicator
that maybe that's not the right thing
for me to do at the moment.
And so I realized that what I actually wanted to do
was finally start to apply all of this musical stuff
that I learned because over the past couple months,
I literally stopped making all YouTube videos,
stopped everything just to learn how to make music
for my videos.
And last month I played a song that was very good.
I still think it's pretty good.
And I played a song
and I realized after a week of playing guitar,
I realized that it's time to get back into the videos
because there was two compasses that I had.
When you kind of jump into the deep end
and you're like wandering around the dark forest,
you don't really know what you're doing.
You don't know if you're gonna get lost.
And that's what I did.
When I started, when I decided to learn music and piano,
it was like I was going into the forest
and I could have gotten lost.
So for two months, I was wandering around the forest
and it's very easily to get lost in a dark forest.
And so you have to have a compass
in order to know if certain things,
you have to have a compass to know your way back.
And I had two compasses.
One was if I have a feeling of inspiration
and motivation to get back into YouTube,
for example, not just YouTube in general,
but if I have a motivation
or if I get inspired to make a certain video,
then that's an indicator that it's time to get back.
And that actually happened with the video
that I didn't complete because I wanted to drop it
and start learning music.
About a month into music,
I was inspired to finish that video and I actually posted it.
But then I went back into music
because I wasn't ready to make the actual song for it.
And then a couple of weeks later,
I reminded myself of my compass.
And the second compass was if I'm simply afraid
to get back into YouTube.
Because when you start doing something,
like when I first started my YouTube channel
and started all that stuff,
it was the scariest times of my life.
So scary.
And I'm not exaggerating, I'm not trying to...
Like when I decided to make a business,
when I filed for my LLC, which was literally nothing
because I didn't actually need it,
but to me that was like a commitment.
Like this was the path that I'm taking.
When I filed that LLC, I was shaking.
Like that was the scariest moment.
So not the scariest moment,
but that was one of the most scariest moments of my life.
And so the compass that I had was if I get afraid
of going back into YouTube where I'm like,
oh, I don't really want to do this anymore.
Then that's like, okay, it's time to get back into YouTube
and start making videos.
Now, thankfully, the second one didn't happen.
I was not afraid.
I was a little nervous, but that was like more excitement
to obvious nervousness.
So what happened was I got inspiration
to make a certain type of video
and I started making videos.
And I've made, I think, two videos so far
that I posted with my own music in the background.
And then the third video that I actually made
is not posting until one year from now
because last year, January 1st, 2024,
I recorded a video and scheduled it for one year
in the future just so I can see where I'm at.
And I realized that that was posting.
So I made another one and scheduled it
for one year from now.
And so I basically have three reps with music,
three reps with applying my music skills to videos.
That's not that many.
That's not very much reps
because I can already tell that my scores for videos
are not as good as my scores just that I'm making
because what I do is I've got a process that I do,
a new process that I've came up with
for my creation of YouTube videos,
which I'll get into in a little moment.
But first I wanna talk about how,
or actually let me just play the song
that I made this morning
so you can hear what I've, all the progress I've made.
workout begins
It's decent and I think that it could be a lot better because there are a few parts
in there. For example, one part where everything went quiet and then it hit. I
should have done that more often towards the end and the intro I just did not
like. But I'm moving on because there's something I'm trying to practice and it's
my ability to feel a feeling and execute it because I learned this in a book
called On The Track. It's a book on how to score films, how to write the music
that they play in the background of movies. And there are two main
components that I've been focusing on and it's the color and the composition.
Last month I thought it was all composition which is very important but
the color is very important too. And the color is like what sounds are being used.
So you could play the same composition on a tuba or a flute and it will sound
radically different. And so that's what I've been paying attention to. What I do
is I've incorporated this into my video production process, my creative process.
I don't know if it's gonna stay there forever simply because I don't know how
practical it is for the actual video but it is very good for getting more
repetitions. What I do is first I come up with an idea, a feeling, an experience, a
memory I've had. So for example one one of my videos it was a memory that I had
of laying in bed in the morning and just feeling hopeless, like being so miserable.
Completely immobile, unable to get out of my bed. And so I was like okay that's the
memory I have. How do I feel? And I wanted to be able to basically put that idea
into music, like create a song around that idea. And I did that and then I used
that song and I have an mp3 player, I downloaded that song onto my mp3 player
and I started brainstorming the title and the thumbnail of the video. And then
once I have the title and the thumbnail I come up with the intro or the log line
which is like the description of the video, what it's about in a short amount
of words as possible, like under 25 words. And then I come up with the intro, the
first couple, like the first one or two sentences of the video, the hook. And once
I do all that then I have a better idea of what the video will be. And then I make
another song of what that video will be, trying to describe the essence of that,
of the video with this song. Before I was describing the essence of the idea and
now I'm describing the essence of the video with this, with my music. And so I
make another video or another song with called Sample. The first song was
brainstorm music and the second one was Sample. And then I use the sample once
I'm done making that song, I listen to it and I use it to brainstorm the script
and come up with all the shots that I'm gonna take. So all the different, all the
actual videos that you see me put together into the final product. And then
once I do that I execute, I record, edit, and finally once I'm done editing I
score the whole thing. And so I make a third song, the final soundtrack for the
actual video. And that's where, that's where the actual final song that you hear
in the actual video is. And the way that I do that is you basically ask, you watch
the video through and you ask yourself, what do I want to feel? So while I'm
watching this, what do I want to feel? Do I want to feel motivated? Do I want to
feel approved? Do I want to feel like I'm being taken seriously? Do I want to feel
like hearted? Like what do I want to feel? For example in the video that I'm
currently working on right now, it's the working title that I've decided on so
far. I have two titles. One is a new type of title that I'm testing out. Is
something like, this will happen to you after watching this for 60 seconds or
something like that. And the other title, the shorter title is like, you have 60
seconds to choose. And then the thumbnail is like on the left, one
idea that I have is on the left, it's a picture of like a derp skin on Minecraft
which if you play Minecraft, if you've watched Minecraft YouTube videos you
probably know what that is. A derp skin on the left and then the on the right it's
me, just a picture of my face. It's just a brand new, I'm testing a lot of
radically different ideas on this video. And I'll actually get into why that is
in a little bit, or actually not in a little bit. I'll talk about that next
month. But I asked myself, how do I want to feel? And you want to basically
confirm that feeling with the music. And that's what I'm practicing. It's not
the easiest thing to do, but it just takes practice. And that's what I'm doing
with my ability to convey an emotion with music through, and then also my
ability to have strengthened a feeling that the viewer is having. And here's
why I care so much about the music. Because I always think in terms of
bottlenecks. So I look at my goal and I see that my current skills, like the
current creations that I'm producing, the videos I'm making, and I see like what
is missing. What's the thing that's holding me back? What skill is just
sucking compared to everything else? And it's the thing that if I can improve
that, then everything will get a little boost. Currently, my two bottlenecks are
not even bottlenecks. One is a bottleneck, and it's my packaging. But the other
music is those two things, packaging and music, are both what I currently believe
to be the most important aspects of my current video style. And here's why.
Packaging, first of all, packaging is my bottleneck because you can, you look at
channels who have 100 subscribers, and then all of a sudden they make a video
that has like a very, it just has the right title. And then they blow up. 250k.
There's a case study on YouTube, you can look them up. His name is Hoff, H-O-F-F.
I've talked about him in a past. I haven't checked his channel in a while,
but he had a video where he was at like 100 subscribers or something like that,
and then he had a video just blow up. And it's simply because the title,
something about the video was good, and it was probably the packaging. Because my
theory is the packaging, because I think that my videos, my execution for my
videos are the best that they have ever been, and yes, I could have said that at
any moment in my journey, but now I think that they're actually watchable. And I'm
saying that with data to prove my point. I have like about 50% of people stick
till the end of my videos, and I also have people regularly say that I'm
underrated in the comments. And I've been very careful with looking at the comments,
because right now I'm in a very critical point in my journey, where I actually
think that I have a good chance of blowing up, and I'm saying that with a sober mind,
because I believed that for my entire journey so far, all the entire time, ever
since I started. But now I actually think that it's true, like I genuinely know
that it could happen at any day, and it's not like just an optimistic
belief that I have anymore, it's like a true knowledge. And so I'm at a critical
point where I've seen people blow up just on one video, where they don't have
like the greatest, they haven't really developed their craft too much yet, and
they've get like a million views on one or two videos, and then they just do not
get any views. And so now their channel looks like they have a lot of subscribers,
but they're getting like no views. I do not want that, because I want to be able
to grow organically without getting diluted by my subscriber count. And that's
why I am so grateful for this period in time that I'm at, because I have like
300 subscribers. I have 300 subscribers, but I'm actually producing like pretty
good videos, and people are like, oh you're so underrated, you deserve more views.
But honestly, I'm like this is an ideal spot to be, where I have this thing that
I notice where if I'm getting more views than my subscriber count, then that shows
that I'm doing something right. And that's what I've been doing. Not five
videos ago, I was getting like 20 views. But for the past couple of videos, I'm
getting them all more views than my current subscriber count. And I think that
means that I'm doing something right. And I'm trying very hard not to get diluted,
because that is a very dangerous path to walk down, because I've walked it
before. Now packaging is the most, is my bottleneck right now, because if I have,
I'm good, I believe that I'm good at executing videos, but I'm not great yet
at coming up with viral ideas. Like great ideas. Jack Pickett is an example of
someone who's excellent at coming up with very viral, like he's excellent, he's
very good at coming up with titles and thumbnails that will probably go viral.
Because he has had probably the most success in the type of videos that I'm
creating on all of the history of YouTube, potentially, or at least close to it.
So packaging is a bottleneck, but then the second component is music. And
here's why, because when I scroll through people's videos, their channels, and
I see the packaging, it is garbage. Like if I see garbage packaging, low-quality
pictures and the thumbnails, I'm like, this channel sucks. Like this is a terrible
channel, like I'm not watching them. But then when I actually click on their
video, it is actually pretty good. Like the packaging is just a dump, it's
garbage. But the video is like a hidden gem. I don't want that for my channel. And
I noticed that that's exactly what my channel is kind of like. Maybe not as
much recently, but definitely in the past. My channel is like, my thumbnails are
garbage, but the video is actually pretty decent. I don't want that. And so that
reframes the viewer, where if they see a garbage thumbnail, they're probably not
even gonna want to click. And if they do, they're not gonna think it's as high
quality, even if it is. So that's why packaging is like your branding. If you
see MrBeast's channel, you don't even have to look at his videos and you know
that that's a high quality channel, because his thumbnails are top-line, state
of the art. And if you look at someone else's channel, who may have excellent
video quality, but garbage thumbnails, then you're not gonna think their channel
is that good. And I want my channel to look good. I want it to look high quality,
like it's a piece of art. And the second component is music, because once you get
them on the video, I want to make better videos, which is like the YouTube game,
also the artistic aspect of it. I want to get better at the YouTube game by
having more views and all that. But I also want to make videos that transform.
And one of the most effective ways that I've noticed to be able to transform
people is art, and more specifically music. I started to view my content as a
work of art. Not like in a self-important sense, but while I'm making it, I'm not
thinking anymore that this is business. Like I'm not thinking, oh, I'm gonna make
a lot of money. I'm thinking like this is my creation, like this is my art. I want
it to be as good as possible. Because before, early in my journey, and I know
that I am still very early in my journey, but like a year ago, I was in the mindset
of business and it's very not good. It's very harmful for your, I think it's
harmful for your success, but it's also just not good for the viewer either.
Because you're, the viewer just, you're not gonna have a great connection with the
viewer. And it makes YouTube just very saturated. That's what people talk about,
how it's very saturated. But if you make art, then it's impossible for YouTube to
be saturated, because that's the nature of art. It's art. And music is one
component of the art where it's like a personal expression, but it's also a way
to transform people. Because I read a music book. It was called The Music
Lesson. And he talked about this dude, who this musician back in the day, like
maybe 50 years ago, 70 years ago, who was considered the world's most dangerous
man by the FBI. Now I did look into it, like an hour, like 30 minutes ago when I
started, just before I started recording. And I didn't really care too much to look
very far into it, but I did see like documents about him on the FBI list. I
don't, I don't know anything about it. Don't, this might be misinformation. I don't
know. And to be honest, I don't really care. But what I do care about is the fact
that music has an ability to completely change people, and not necessarily
change people, but influence people tremendously and touch them to the core.
Because the reason why he was on the FBI most wanted, or not most wanted list, but
he was on a watch list by the FBI was because, I think it's because he was, he
had a lot of political opinions, and he had a lot of, now I actually don't even
know what to talk about. And I'll get into that concept of me not knowing what
I'm talking about at the end of this episode. But basically this dude had the
ability to sway a large portion of the public, and that was very dangerous. Like
if you have the ability to sway a large portion of the public, for example, if you
just look at any leader in history, Hitler, Jesus, and I'm listening like
extremely effective leaders, not necessarily good or bad, because if you
have the ability to sway a large portion of the public, then that can be a very
dangerous movement. Hitler and Jesus were very different people, just like
everyone is very different, but they're just good examples of how you can
influence people. And music is one way to influence people, and this guy was
able to influence a large portion of the public, and he was put on the FBI's most
wanted list. Not most wanted list. What am I even saying? Let's move on. Don't
even listen to anything I just said. Basically I think that music has the
ability to transform people's lives, because when I used to watch videos, or I
still watch videos, but over the years, the videos that really changed me were
not necessarily like self-improvement videos, like where it was just a dude
that I was listening to giving me advice. Yeah, those were practical, and I got
valuable information from them that I could apply, but it didn't necessarily
change who I... like it didn't necessarily change the way I see the world, and that
is way more important than practical advice, in my opinion. If you can change
people's worldview, then they will do the rest of the work on their own, and so
that's what I really think that music and treating your content as a creation,
and not just business, is the key to being able to transform people, just like I
was transformed. I want to be able to create... okay, I read a lot of books, and
what I noticed over the years is I am wondering why not a lot of people read,
because... or not a lot of people read effectively, because if you pick up a book,
as long as it's the right type of book, like it's a book that will change the
way you see the world, as long as you just read the book and just keep reading,
you are guaranteed to have a different looking life and a different way of seeing
the world over the course of the next couple weeks, months, and years. Your
life will be completely different, as long as you just keep on reading, and so I
want to... I've noticed that when I read books, I change, like I completely
transform just by reading books, and I want to do that with my videos. I want
people to be able to watch my videos and do nothing else, just watch my videos, but
be transformed. That's what I want, and I think that music, trading near videos as
art, having... putting a lot of effort into it, is the prime components to that.
Man, I repeat so much stuff, and that's what I want to talk... I was gonna save
this till the end, but I want to talk about that right now. I was talking with
my friend the other day, and I kept on repeating the same thing over and over
again, trying to figure out what I was trying to say as I was saying it, and I
was like... at the end of my statement, I was like, man, I gotta stop that. I keep
on repeating, and he was like, no, like we're learning, like that's... you're not
gonna be good at talking about something unless you're... unless you're very
knowledgeable in that subject. And I noticed that with my actual videos, or
not my videos, I think that I'm pretty knowledgeable on my YouTube video subject,
but on my podcast, I talk about a lot of stuff that I'm learning at the moment, and
I have to repeat a lot of things over and over again, and that's just the nature
of documenting my progress, my process, because I'm learning along the way, and
I'm documenting along the way, so fundamentally, I'm probably not gonna be able
to understand too effectively, at least in the beginning. And this is a long-term
investment. Like, I don't even know how many people are listening to this.
One month, I had a thousand downloads, like a thousand views in one month, which
is nothing, but then the next month, I had like 10 views. So I don't even know how
many people are listening to this. I don't even know if anyone is listening to
this, and it doesn't really matter because this is a long-term investment. I'm
doing this for myself now, but I know that this will pay off a lot in the
future, because that's just the nature of it. And so I don't really care too much
if I'm not very knowledgeable in my subject, because what I noticed recently,
I've been really aware of this concept, because I have fallen
prey to it. And to be honest, I don't think that I am under the influence of
this concept at the moment, but it's very possible that I could be deluded. And
this concept is that there's a generation, my generation, of online
content creators who are all about, find your purpose, live true to yourself. And
I am all for that. I love that concept, but I notice that our generation is just
the most lost, because I've noticed that, for example, one person may get a sudden
growth. Oh, here it is. In a lot of videos I noticed, people get a radical
improvement, or a radical spike in their viewership. They get a lot of
subscribers, and then they kind of stop getting views, and so they're not able to
really replicate it, but then they make a video on how to do what they did,
how to blow up on YouTube, how to grow on YouTube. And I noticed that, I'm like,
that is just, you're just selling yourself short. I noticed that so much, and I did
it too. I did 1% dad, I was selling myself short. And to be honest, it was
really just, it wasn't for the money, because I actually thought that was part
of my path, and it was. And I'll get into why it was. But I have a theory that it
might be because people, I actually don't even know, this is just a new idea that
I've came up with, how people, our generation is just lost. That's what
I'm trying to say. And me too, I'm lost. But I really think that I, how am I
trying to say this? Our generation is lost, but I think that if we just keep
moving forward, and keep being aware, then everyone will be able to find their
place. And here's why I, I know that the 1% dad thing was a part of my path, and
it was because I was super intolerant. Like I, you go back on my YouTube channel,
search up a video called, mediocrity is not your own model. That video was, was
not the original video that I made. There was another video that I made just
before that I was going to make, or I actually did make, and I was going to
post a different video instead. That was way more intolerant, but mediocrity is
not your own model, was actually the censored version. And man, I really needed
to go through the 1% dad phase because you know what that taught me? It taught
me like tolerance, and not, not just tolerance, but it expanded my worldview
because it, the type of intolerance that I had was just ignorance. It was just, it
was like delusional. It was self-importance. And going through the 1% dad
thing that I did, I actually studied people. I, I took YouTube comments that
were commented, and I wrote them out. And I actually taught myself to grow and
appreciate people. And that was just the most valuable experience ever because I
would not be as, like I, I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't do that, if I
didn't go through that phase, where I just grew and I became, I don't like the
word tolerant because it's, it still implies that I'm somehow better. And I
also don't like accepting because, but I hope you understand that that period
really helped me to grow as a person and not be so limited and self-important
based. Like don't, don't think of myself as so important. That's why that period was
so powerful for me. And that's also why I think that the period where I don't
necessarily think is good. For example, there's a concept like the fake guru. It's
the person who didn't really get successful doing their own thing, but
they got successful and they made a lot of money teaching people how to get
successful and make a lot of money. That's a concept that I think a lot of
people are falling prey to lately. And I, I am no, I'm not immune to that either
because I did fall prey to that with the 1% dad, but like I explained, I think it
was essential to my journey. And the reason why I think that I did fall
prey to that was because simply because I was not a father. I was not credible to
talk about that topic. And, but it was one of most valuable moments or a couple
of months in my entire life for my development. And that's why I think that
it's not necessarily a bad thing as long as people keep being aware and keep
being true to themselves. If other people are also doing that thing where they're,
for example, if they blow up, one video blows up on YouTube and they start
teaching how to blow up on YouTube, but they're not able to do it again. That is
one thing that I don't, I don't necessarily dislike it. I just think that
it's kind of weird. I think that I just feel like icky about it. If I, I don't
even know. I hope that makes sense. It's almost like they're selling themselves
short. Like they're being content with less for themselves because they did
something and they went deep into something. Like they were able to build
their skills enough to blow up on YouTube, like get one video to blow up, but
then they're like accepting of it and they are kind of like content with that.
Instead of going deeper, they stop and turn around and they say, oh here I did
this, so now let me teach other people how to do this. Let me teach you how to do
this. But I think is, and this is just from my very limited perspective, I think
that they're being accepting of a lot less. They're cutting themselves short. I
don't really, I hope you understand. Like this is, they're, they have such higher
potential, but they're not going for it. Does that make sense? It's, it's why I, I
have so much respect for Mr. Beast because over the years he has had a
tremendous amount of success. His initial success, he had like a hundred thousand
or counting 200,000. Video blew up and I don't, I don't know. I didn't study, I
didn't analyze his, his channel around that time to know if he did this or not,
but he never turned into a how to grow on YouTube YouTuber. He never went around
and taught people how to do that. Yes, he went on podcasts and shared his tips, but
he didn't really make a living off of that. Like he didn't turn that into his
main thing. He just kept going deeper and deeper into his own field, his own
craft. And I have so much respect for that. And also it's not that I don't have
respect for turning around and teaching people. I, I get so much value from
people doing that. I really appreciate it when people go deep into their field and
turn around and say, here, I learned all this stuff. Let me teach other people. That
is an essential part to life. Like that is very valuable, but when a lot of people
do that and also people don't go so deep, it's valuable when someone goes deep.
They have like 10 years of just putting it in and then they teach. That's valuable.
But when people do it for like a year or two and they have this like basic thing,
like if you have a basic skill, like I'm trying to think of an example. Let's say
you, like YouTube is one example, but another example, one, let's say you have a
basic skill, like you improved your sleep. Okay. And you improved your, you read like
a sleep book. That's what I did. I read a sleep book and I improved my sleep over
the course of a year or a little bit. I improved my sleep and I look at myself and
like, okay, what, what have I done? And I'm like, oh, I did improve my sleep. So let me
become a sleep expert and let me teach other people how to do that. How to do
that. Well, it's, I, if I did that, I'd be like cutting myself so much short and I
don't know if cutting short is like a great way to describe it. Basically, I
could have gone so much deeper into, let's say I was actually interested in
learning sleep. I could have gone deeper, done a lot of research, done a lot of
studies, become like a scientist, become a researcher, become, I could have gone
way, way, way, way, way, way deeper. And sleep is not the greatest example, but let's
say like YouTuber, Mr. Beast, this relates to Mr. Beast, he went way deeper and he
was basically able to fulfill way deep, way more of his potential, if that makes
sense. Anyways, I just think that it's very interesting how I've noticed a lot of
people are kind of doing this, but I'm also not necessarily against it because
I know that it was very valuable for me with the 1% dad thing, but it was only
valuable because I stopped. People can do what they want, basically, but that's
just an idea that I've had that is very, it's a, I think it's an interesting point
of view of allowing yourself, or of keep pushing deeper instead of just staying at
the surface level and cutting yourself short. Let's move on to the next thing.
Transurfing addiction. That's one thing I'd noticed or I talked about last month,
how it's kind of like an addiction where I can only feel happy when I go back and
reread Transurfing. Now, I come up with a lot of ideas and there are probably some
in this video that are like this too. These ideas I come up with and I obsess
over them in the time being, but then after a couple weeks or months of
contemplation, I realize, oh, that's probably not the case, or oh, that's
probably not as great as I thought, or oh, that's actually probably really stupid
to think. And it's the idea that I realized was stupid. One idea I realized was
stupid was the idea that I can only be happy when I'm reading Transurfing. That
idea is stupid, but the solution that I came up with had good intentions, but it
was not that great because I said, I noticed that when I'm reading Transurfing,
I'm happy, but then when I'm not reading it, I slowly started to decline and then
I can only be happy again when I read it. So the solution I came up with was just
to remind myself constantly be super aware and look inwards, which did work.
But not that great because like a week ago or maybe even a couple weeks ago, I
had like this breakdown in my mind. Not physically like I wasn't screaming and
slamming doors, but my mind was just shutting down because I was just, I was
unable to experience happiness and I remember sitting at my kitchen table
just preparing myself some food and I was super aware. I was just paying
attention to my mindset and I was like, man, I am not happy right now. Like this
is unacceptable. I want to be happy. How do I be happy? And I kept on repeating
that to myself like, why is it so complicated to be happy? And so I realized,
oh shoot, I'm actually just making this complicated. I just have to let go and be
happy. But that wasn't really that great of a long-term solution. And here's why.
Because I started reading this book and I realized, okay, this idea is stupid where
you have to figure out and you're on note. That's stupid. Happiness is one of the
most valuable things where I am going to do whatever it takes as long as I feel
authentic happiness. Now, I hope you take those words into context because I'm not
saying like I'm going to do drugs or anything like that because that's not
authentic happiness. I'm talking like, if it takes me to read a book, I'm not going
to stop myself from reading a book if I can be reminded how to be happy. And so
there's a book that I picked up is called Living with the Law and it was on
this guy's reading list. And I started reading it and immediately, if it reminded
me, it was very similar in power to Transurfing where Transurfing always
reminds me how to be happy. And this has reminded me how to be happy. And one idea
I realized in that book was when you start learning or when you start training
your mind early on, you're going to make a lot of mistakes. But then you just keep
going, keep going. And then over the course of the years, your mind will get
stronger and stronger and stronger. And then maybe 30 years later, you're not
going to make as many mistakes. You're going to be a lot firmer, a lot, a lot
more stable. You're going to be able to maintain your happiness a lot more often.
And I realized that I'm super early in the game of training my mind. I
only started learning about this stuff maybe one and a half, maybe two or three
years, maybe two years ago, I don't know. And so it makes sense that I got to keep
reminding myself, keep training myself, especially early in the game. So it's
fundamentally stupid, I think, to prevent yourself from reading books about it,
especially early in the game. Now it might be a different story 30 years down
the road when I've built a very strong foundation, but I don't know, I'm not
there yet. So that's why I'm actually taking back that idea of
transurfing addiction. But there is still an idea of like the, what is it called,
the herd mentality. Like I still think that, like that is definitely a very
prevalent thing where people identify with that identity and it, they have to
act within that limited sense. I disagree with that. Like I do not want any herd
mentality in my life. I still think that that is not good, but I still think it's
valuable to read the book. And one very valuable concept that I learned in the
book, that was exactly what I needed to hear on how to be happy. Like I said, I
was going through like the, I was going through the oscillations where I was
feeling the negative feelings. And I read this paragraph or this little example in
this book. When you're cold, you don't try and like eliminate the cold. You don't
try to make the cold less prevalent. You just start a fire and get heat. There is
no, there is no less cold. It's just, it's you're cold. So then introduce warmth. And
the cold will automatically disappear. And so that's what I was, I was making a
massive mistake with when I realized I was not happy. I was sitting at the
kitchen table preparing my food and I noticed I wasn't happy. And so I was
trying to reduce my unhappiness. I was trying to reduce the amount of coldness
that I felt. But that's just fundamentally not the way nature works. If
instead you introduce fire to your, your experience, then the coldness will just
disappear. It'll delete on its own. And so that's what I needed to realize if you
just introduce joy or I, I have no idea. It's such a difficult thing to talk
about because I am not very knowledgeable on the subject. Like I had
mentioned earlier how I have to repeat and kind of figure out what I'm trying to
say along the time. But that's actually the value of it. Because I'm not
posting like, yeah, I'm posting these, but I know that no one's really listening
to these. And to be honest, I'm not really putting that much time into these. I'm
just writing down a little bit, a couple of bullet points, relistening to the last
episode and then talking for like an hour. I'm not trying to make it, yeah, I'm
trying to make it better, but I'm not really focusing that much attention or
effort on it. It's really just for me. And the reason why I'm posting that is
because I know that this will be a huge asset in the future. And even if it's
not, it's still an asset to my development. I'm learning a lot. Just
talking, simply just talking and trying to explain new concepts. You learn a
tremendous amount. Goodbye.