So I'm reading a book called The Power of Personal Storytelling.
And I told myself before I started reading it that I was going to read or that I was
going to take action and implement every single thing he says in that book.
And this is because I am working on storytelling right now and I really want to get it better
because I know that storytelling is one of the most valuable skills that you can have
as a person, as a professional in pretty much any career, and as a YouTuber, and for the
goals that I'm pursuing.
And so another thing that I'd said is I'm not going to read on, so I'm not going to
continue reading on the book until I complete the actionable step that he gives.
Because at the end of every single chapter he gives me a, he writes down actionable steps.
And so I basically have a rule for myself where I finish every single actionable step
and then I can move on.
And usually because of this, I have to stop reading and then go and do it and then I can't
read until the next day.
So I'm like at this pace right now I'm getting one or two chapters in a day.
So it's probably going to take me like two or three weeks to finish this like 200 page
book, which should be a quick read, but it's going to take me a lot longer because I'm
taking action, which is good because I'm putting in, I'm going to get out of it what I put
into it.
But one of the most recent things that he said to do, and I'm sorry if I sound weird
right now, it's because I'm literally shivering because it's freezing in the basement.
But one of the things that he said to do is something that I never actually did before.
And it's basically a exercise to reconnect with your past.
And I benefit so much from this because I had such a negative relationship with my past
because I grew so much in my like from since sophomore year of my high school until now
that and then I was doing a lot of bad habits in middle school.
And I kind of just thought badly of pretty much my entire childhood because of what I
was doing in middle school, which was just playing video games all day.
But this exercise was basically you just sit down in a dark, quiet, peaceful environment.
So I basically just sat down in my room, which was dark, and I couldn't hear anyone and there's
no distractions.
And you just you just think back to your childhood.
He said that you can have broad just general childhood, or you can think about a specific
incident or a specific year or a specific event.
And then on the next chapter, the next chapter is actual step, which I ended up reading after
I completed this one that I'm going to tell you right now was basically the same exercise,
except you don't necessarily think back in general terms, you think back in feelings.
So you try and think like, when was I feeling inspired?
Or when was I feeling courageous?
Or you can think back in thinking, which I didn't really understand the difference between
thinking back and thinking and just thinking back.
I don't know.
But I did both of the I did both of the actual steps right after I read them.
And oh my gosh, it is freezing.
Okay, I did both the actual steps right after I read them.
And I discovered something amazing.
First of all, I discovered that I got to keep doing this.
And as a result, I've swapped out my like meditation with this, like I'm doing this instead of
meditating every day, which I think it's very beneficial for me right now.
And so what I discovered was that my childhood was not trash.
Like my childhood was amazing.
And one thing that I told that I tend to tell people if they ask, when I started self-improvement,
I tend to say I started self-improvement the beginning of junior year or like the beginning
of sophomore year, depending on like what I'm feeling that day.
Because beginning of junior year is when I started reading.
But the beginning of sophomore year was when I actually started, well, actually it was
like the beginning of freshman year was when I actually started doing like exercise, exercising
and stuff like that.
Or it was maybe even before the beginning of freshman year.
But pretty much I always thought that I started self-improvement on the beginning of junior
year, literally like one and a half years ago.
But what I realized was I actually have been on self-improvement pretty much my entire life.
I've been doing like little things to improve myself all the time.
And I just discredited everything that I did before then because of what I was doing in
middle school, which was just being addicted to video games and playing video games all
the time.
But one of the most important things that I came to understand about myself was I was
just trying to look, I was just thinking about just a broad childhood.
And I like over the course of 30 minutes that I was doing it, a bunch of just images and
flashes came to mind.
And there was three very important points that I remembered.
And it's three things that I'm kind of, or two of the things I'm really working on,
which is courage and, let me actually check, I forgot.
Yeah, courage and leadership.
So two of the things I'm really working on right now is courage and leadership.
But one of the things, the third one that I was working on a little bit before was like
talking to girls and being confident around girls and all that, which I was working on
that a little bit during summer when I was going to the mall and just cold approaching.
But I kind of just narrowed in and focused on myself instead of just focused on girls,
which I wasn't even doing it for the girls.
I was doing it for myself, whatever.
That's a whole story on itself.
If you're interested, go back to like episode 21 on the podcast and you can listen to it
in real time.
It might be 21, it might be 22, I don't know.
It might be 20, I don't know.
Just check those.
But pretty much I was listening back to my, or I was, okay, I was remembering back to
three different events.
So three different kind of memories popped up into my mind.
And the first one taught me that I am like a natural leader.
And this is something important because I was really told that I was a leader all my
life, but I always just kind of discredited that and thought that I thought like negative
towards that.
I thought that they were just saying that just because, and I didn't really feel like
a leader.
But I was thinking back and I saw, and I remember how in elementary school, I was like the most
popular kid in the grade.
I was one of the most popular kids in the grade.
I didn't do that on purpose.
I wasn't trying to do that.
I was just chilling.
I was just being myself.
And I just, the memory that came back to me was me literally walking around the playground,
leading a small army of children just around the playground.
That was just like a memory that I had from elementary school.
I would literally just walk around and lead a small army of children, like 10, 15 kids.
I don't know.
It was crazy.
But I mean, obviously that didn't happen all the time, but that was just like one event.
And so that's like me, it's me reminding myself that I actually am a leader.
I'm like, I'm a natural born leader.
And it gives me the confidence to continue on with this YouTube channel because the last
time I checked the analytics on the YouTube, I have like, I think 70 subscribers or 80
subscribers, which is not that much compared to most YouTubers, like people, YouTubers
that I follow have like millions of subscribers.
But if you put it into context, I have 80 people following me.
And if you see that in real life, like I remember that memory looking back, I had 15
tiny children following me and I felt like the king of the world.
And that like that's teachers in school.
They have, they're leading 20 kids, their leaders, and they feel good about themselves
because that I have 80 people.
Like if you look at like just try and visualize what 80 people looks like.
So if you're a high school student or if you remember high school, just think about that
that's like four classrooms full of kids.
So I'm leading four classrooms full of people.
So that's something amazing to think about.
And I originally came to that epiphany of like realizing that I'm leading a lot of people,
even though I only have like 50 subscribers back when I was taking a walk a couple weeks
ago.
And I just randomly thought about that because I kind of felt bad.
I think it was my how to get jacked as a high school student, which I changed to how to build
an aesthetic body.
That video didn't do as well.
So I was kind of like disappointed one week after because I didn't realize I don't check
analytics until one week after.
So one week after I posted that video, I was a little disappointed.
And so I went on a walk to like re whatever to re inspire myself.
And I actually discovered that going on a walk and coming up with more brainstorming
ideas and all that and getting excited again, that is so powerful if you are like in a low
mood because I left for that walk really low mood.
And I came back just really hype and excited to start working on the channel again.
But I basically came up with that epiphany that I have like 50 subscribers.
That's 50 people following me.
I can barely even visualize what 50 people look like.
And so that's the first trait that I was reminded of that I have like I am a leader.
And then another trait that I was reminded of is that I am courageous.
And over the past couple months especially like or especially when I started getting
into entrepreneurship like the past six months maybe, I've been taking a lot of courageous
leaps.
Like some notable things were when I first started the pot or when I first filed my business
under like the like when I first filed for my business to become like legit.
That was really scary for me.
I literally spent an entire week writing down in my journal pros and cons because I just
was so scared to do it.
Even though it was nothing like there was no consequence.
There was no like the only consequence was losing $150 which is the cost to file for
LLC.
But I was just so terrified.
That was like one of the bigger courageous things.
And another one was like the first time I called approached a girl in the mall.
That like was actually terrifying.
And there was a bunch of other courageous events that I had, but I just had to remind
myself that like I have always been courageous because I remembered or not necessarily always
been courageous, but I've like it gave me a new perspective, this memory that I'll tell
you in a moment.
It gave me a new perspective of how courage is basically just a choice and how you can
make the most courageous decision without much training.
Because I've had like, for example, when I filed my business, I remember how that felt.
I was like so scared.
I had that same feeling when I was asked like when I called approached a girl and asked
her for a number at the mall.
And then I also had that same feeling now that I remember from this memory that I'm
going to tell you right now.
And it was back when I was like really young.
I was probably like seven or eight or 10 maybe.
I don't know.
I was pretty, I was younger.
Maybe I was 11 or 12.
I don't know.
I was a shy kid.
I still am shy, but I was shy and my dad, his job requires him to go on to an assignment
every summer, which is basically where he works at a summer camp for an entire month.
So my childhood, a lot of summers I spent my a lot of summers during my childhood.
I spent at a summer camp, which was absolutely amazing, by the way.
Like that was probably some of the best times I had ever.
And I was reminded of them during this exercise also, which I kind of forgot about.
So if you, okay, side tangent, you should definitely practice this exercise of literally
just trying to remember your childhood because it is so fulfilling.
It's actually one of the most crazy inner work things that I've ever done and most rewarding
inner work done things that I've ever done.
But I'm at this summer camp and I know and over the past like couple years at summer
camp I've always had friends and that made it amazing.
Now that I remember, I think that I was probably like 11 or 12 or 13 when I, when this memory
happened.
And so I knew that having friends during this summer camp, during this month, other staff
kids that were there for an entire month, that made the time so much better.
And there was one, there was one other kid my age and then one other kid, like probably
like four or five years younger than us.
And they were hanging out together.
They already knew each other.
And I basically, I knew that they were there.
Like I saw them at camp, but I was always too afraid and shy to walk up to them and
just start being friends.
And this was back when we were young enough, like we were young to where it was as simple
as literally just walking up to them and say, Hey, can we be friends?
Like that's how simple, like if you remember that's how simple it is to be friends in when
you're young, which I'm questioning, why isn't it that simple now?
Are we just making it more difficult on ourselves?
Maybe that's an experiment.
Maybe I should walk up to a random person the next time I like, am at like that kind
of next time I see someone, maybe I should do that and just say, Hey, can we be friends?
That'd be a cool experiment.
I don't know.
But pretty much that'd be a cool comfort zone challenge also because that's out of my comfort
zone.
But I walk or we're, and then, okay, so we're at suburb camp.
I've seen this guy around and all of these moments I've missed, like I had plenty of
opportunities to walk up to him and say, Hey, can we be friends?
And then this one day we are like me, I'm okay.
So we're sitting in the main entrance of the camp, like the lobby area.
And I'm sitting across the room from him and he is just on his phone or he's playing on
like a electronic device with his friend, which was the younger guy.
And so I'm just sitting there just kind of sitting on super scared, super nervous, super
shy.
And then I'm just like, Oh, and there's no adults in the room, by the way, which is probably
why I mustered or probably how I mustered the courage to actually make the move because
I never would have made the move if my parents were there.
I don't know why.
I always like question why I'm less courageous around my parents, but I don't know.
I made the move.
I decided to make the move.
I'm like, okay, it's now or never, like I got to do this.
Like I know that this is going to make my month, my summer camp experience so much better.
So I made the move and that was probably one of the more difficult things that I'd done
at that point in my life and it ended up being the best summer camp experience that I'd had
probably ever up to that point.
So that is me remembering that I'm courageous.
And then the third thing was me remembering that I am good with girls.
Like I am a natural ladies man.
And it's when I was in elementary school, two, I don't, it's probably more occasions
than this, but two occasions that I can remember in second grade, I sat next to like my desk
was sitting next to like three other people.
And then one of them was this one girl.
And I just remember like always being very friendly with her.
And then another time was in like fourth grade or third grade.
I don't remember what years, but I was super friendly with another girl.
And there was lots of like memories that I have of like just being comfortable around
them.
And so that's why I'm reminded that like I can be comfortable around girls and be very
like friendly.
And so that is pretty much the exercise that I went through yesterday, literally just sitting
in my room and trying to remember my childhood.
Like I didn't have the goal to think of different like traits that I had as a child that I have
now.
My goal was simply just to remember my childhood.
And then like I sat in my room, my room is set up to where it can get pitch black if
I want to because I nailed blackout curtains on the window and the doors door.
And so I literally just sat in my room, turned the light off and set the timer for 35 minutes
and literally just sat there on my bed thinking, what can I do?
Or not not thinking that.
I was literally just thinking, what was my childhood like?
Like that was literally my broad question.
And then I literally just let my mind race with different memories.
And they didn't come spewing out by the way.
Like they literally, it took probably like five minutes to warm up.
And I've conditioned myself to be able to sit in silence over the past couple, over the
past half of a year, so I'm able to do this.
You might have a more difficult experience, but it's definitely worth it.
So do that.
I'm pretty sure it's called like Lothine and Inviting the Soul or something like that.
If you just get the book, it's called The Power of Personal Storytelling by Jack Maguire.
It's like chapter five or six or something like that.
I don't know.
Just read the book.
I'm like not even a fourth of what I've done.
And it's already changed my life.
And it's because I'm taking action.
So take action.