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So I'm reading a book called The Power of Personal Storytelling.

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And I told myself before I started reading it that I was going to read or that I was

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going to take action and implement every single thing he says in that book.

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And this is because I am working on storytelling right now and I really want to get it better

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because I know that storytelling is one of the most valuable skills that you can have

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as a person, as a professional in pretty much any career, and as a YouTuber, and for the

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goals that I'm pursuing.

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And so another thing that I'd said is I'm not going to read on, so I'm not going to

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continue reading on the book until I complete the actionable step that he gives.

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Because at the end of every single chapter he gives me a, he writes down actionable steps.

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And so I basically have a rule for myself where I finish every single actionable step

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and then I can move on.

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And usually because of this, I have to stop reading and then go and do it and then I can't

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read until the next day.

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So I'm like at this pace right now I'm getting one or two chapters in a day.

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So it's probably going to take me like two or three weeks to finish this like 200 page

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book, which should be a quick read, but it's going to take me a lot longer because I'm

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taking action, which is good because I'm putting in, I'm going to get out of it what I put

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into it.

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But one of the most recent things that he said to do, and I'm sorry if I sound weird

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right now, it's because I'm literally shivering because it's freezing in the basement.

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But one of the things that he said to do is something that I never actually did before.

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And it's basically a exercise to reconnect with your past.

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And I benefit so much from this because I had such a negative relationship with my past

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because I grew so much in my like from since sophomore year of my high school until now

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that and then I was doing a lot of bad habits in middle school.

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And I kind of just thought badly of pretty much my entire childhood because of what I

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was doing in middle school, which was just playing video games all day.

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But this exercise was basically you just sit down in a dark, quiet, peaceful environment.

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So I basically just sat down in my room, which was dark, and I couldn't hear anyone and there's

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no distractions.

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And you just you just think back to your childhood.

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He said that you can have broad just general childhood, or you can think about a specific

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incident or a specific year or a specific event.

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And then on the next chapter, the next chapter is actual step, which I ended up reading after

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I completed this one that I'm going to tell you right now was basically the same exercise,

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except you don't necessarily think back in general terms, you think back in feelings.

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So you try and think like, when was I feeling inspired?

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Or when was I feeling courageous?

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Or you can think back in thinking, which I didn't really understand the difference between

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thinking back and thinking and just thinking back.

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I don't know.

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But I did both of the I did both of the actual steps right after I read them.

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And oh my gosh, it is freezing.

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Okay, I did both the actual steps right after I read them.

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And I discovered something amazing.

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First of all, I discovered that I got to keep doing this.

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And as a result, I've swapped out my like meditation with this, like I'm doing this instead of

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meditating every day, which I think it's very beneficial for me right now.

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And so what I discovered was that my childhood was not trash.

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Like my childhood was amazing.

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And one thing that I told that I tend to tell people if they ask, when I started self-improvement,

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I tend to say I started self-improvement the beginning of junior year or like the beginning

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of sophomore year, depending on like what I'm feeling that day.

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Because beginning of junior year is when I started reading.

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But the beginning of sophomore year was when I actually started, well, actually it was

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like the beginning of freshman year was when I actually started doing like exercise, exercising

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and stuff like that.

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Or it was maybe even before the beginning of freshman year.

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But pretty much I always thought that I started self-improvement on the beginning of junior

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year, literally like one and a half years ago.

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But what I realized was I actually have been on self-improvement pretty much my entire life.

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I've been doing like little things to improve myself all the time.

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And I just discredited everything that I did before then because of what I was doing in

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middle school, which was just being addicted to video games and playing video games all

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the time.

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But one of the most important things that I came to understand about myself was I was

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just trying to look, I was just thinking about just a broad childhood.

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And I like over the course of 30 minutes that I was doing it, a bunch of just images and

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flashes came to mind.

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And there was three very important points that I remembered.

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And it's three things that I'm kind of, or two of the things I'm really working on,

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which is courage and, let me actually check, I forgot.

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Yeah, courage and leadership.

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So two of the things I'm really working on right now is courage and leadership.

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But one of the things, the third one that I was working on a little bit before was like

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talking to girls and being confident around girls and all that, which I was working on

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that a little bit during summer when I was going to the mall and just cold approaching.

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But I kind of just narrowed in and focused on myself instead of just focused on girls,

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which I wasn't even doing it for the girls.

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I was doing it for myself, whatever.

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That's a whole story on itself.

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If you're interested, go back to like episode 21 on the podcast and you can listen to it

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in real time.

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It might be 21, it might be 22, I don't know.

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It might be 20, I don't know.

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Just check those.

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But pretty much I was listening back to my, or I was, okay, I was remembering back to

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three different events.

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So three different kind of memories popped up into my mind.

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And the first one taught me that I am like a natural leader.

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And this is something important because I was really told that I was a leader all my

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life, but I always just kind of discredited that and thought that I thought like negative

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towards that.

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I thought that they were just saying that just because, and I didn't really feel like

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a leader.

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But I was thinking back and I saw, and I remember how in elementary school, I was like the most

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popular kid in the grade.

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I was one of the most popular kids in the grade.

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I didn't do that on purpose.

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I wasn't trying to do that.

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I was just chilling.

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I was just being myself.

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And I just, the memory that came back to me was me literally walking around the playground,

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leading a small army of children just around the playground.

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That was just like a memory that I had from elementary school.

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I would literally just walk around and lead a small army of children, like 10, 15 kids.

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I don't know.

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It was crazy.

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But I mean, obviously that didn't happen all the time, but that was just like one event.

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And so that's like me, it's me reminding myself that I actually am a leader.

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I'm like, I'm a natural born leader.

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And it gives me the confidence to continue on with this YouTube channel because the last

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time I checked the analytics on the YouTube, I have like, I think 70 subscribers or 80

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subscribers, which is not that much compared to most YouTubers, like people, YouTubers

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that I follow have like millions of subscribers.

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But if you put it into context, I have 80 people following me.

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And if you see that in real life, like I remember that memory looking back, I had 15

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tiny children following me and I felt like the king of the world.

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And that like that's teachers in school.

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They have, they're leading 20 kids, their leaders, and they feel good about themselves

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because that I have 80 people.

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Like if you look at like just try and visualize what 80 people looks like.

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So if you're a high school student or if you remember high school, just think about that

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that's like four classrooms full of kids.

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So I'm leading four classrooms full of people.

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So that's something amazing to think about.

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And I originally came to that epiphany of like realizing that I'm leading a lot of people,

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even though I only have like 50 subscribers back when I was taking a walk a couple weeks

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ago.

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And I just randomly thought about that because I kind of felt bad.

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I think it was my how to get jacked as a high school student, which I changed to how to build

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an aesthetic body.

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That video didn't do as well.

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So I was kind of like disappointed one week after because I didn't realize I don't check

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analytics until one week after.

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So one week after I posted that video, I was a little disappointed.

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And so I went on a walk to like re whatever to re inspire myself.

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And I actually discovered that going on a walk and coming up with more brainstorming

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ideas and all that and getting excited again, that is so powerful if you are like in a low

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mood because I left for that walk really low mood.

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And I came back just really hype and excited to start working on the channel again.

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But I basically came up with that epiphany that I have like 50 subscribers.

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That's 50 people following me.

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I can barely even visualize what 50 people look like.

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And so that's the first trait that I was reminded of that I have like I am a leader.

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And then another trait that I was reminded of is that I am courageous.

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And over the past couple months especially like or especially when I started getting

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into entrepreneurship like the past six months maybe, I've been taking a lot of courageous

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leaps.

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Like some notable things were when I first started the pot or when I first filed my business

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under like the like when I first filed for my business to become like legit.

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That was really scary for me.

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I literally spent an entire week writing down in my journal pros and cons because I just

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was so scared to do it.

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Even though it was nothing like there was no consequence.

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There was no like the only consequence was losing $150 which is the cost to file for

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LLC.

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But I was just so terrified.

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That was like one of the bigger courageous things.

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And another one was like the first time I called approached a girl in the mall.

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That like was actually terrifying.

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And there was a bunch of other courageous events that I had, but I just had to remind

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myself that like I have always been courageous because I remembered or not necessarily always

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been courageous, but I've like it gave me a new perspective, this memory that I'll tell

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you in a moment.

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It gave me a new perspective of how courage is basically just a choice and how you can

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make the most courageous decision without much training.

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Because I've had like, for example, when I filed my business, I remember how that felt.

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I was like so scared.

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I had that same feeling when I was asked like when I called approached a girl and asked

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her for a number at the mall.

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And then I also had that same feeling now that I remember from this memory that I'm

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going to tell you right now.

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And it was back when I was like really young.

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I was probably like seven or eight or 10 maybe.

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I don't know.

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I was pretty, I was younger.

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Maybe I was 11 or 12.

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I don't know.

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I was a shy kid.

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I still am shy, but I was shy and my dad, his job requires him to go on to an assignment

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every summer, which is basically where he works at a summer camp for an entire month.

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So my childhood, a lot of summers I spent my a lot of summers during my childhood.

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I spent at a summer camp, which was absolutely amazing, by the way.

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Like that was probably some of the best times I had ever.

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And I was reminded of them during this exercise also, which I kind of forgot about.

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So if you, okay, side tangent, you should definitely practice this exercise of literally

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just trying to remember your childhood because it is so fulfilling.

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It's actually one of the most crazy inner work things that I've ever done and most rewarding

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inner work done things that I've ever done.

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But I'm at this summer camp and I know and over the past like couple years at summer

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camp I've always had friends and that made it amazing.

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Now that I remember, I think that I was probably like 11 or 12 or 13 when I, when this memory

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happened.

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And so I knew that having friends during this summer camp, during this month, other staff

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kids that were there for an entire month, that made the time so much better.

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And there was one, there was one other kid my age and then one other kid, like probably

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like four or five years younger than us.

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And they were hanging out together.

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They already knew each other.

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And I basically, I knew that they were there.

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Like I saw them at camp, but I was always too afraid and shy to walk up to them and

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just start being friends.

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And this was back when we were young enough, like we were young to where it was as simple

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as literally just walking up to them and say, Hey, can we be friends?

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Like that's how simple, like if you remember that's how simple it is to be friends in when

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you're young, which I'm questioning, why isn't it that simple now?

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Are we just making it more difficult on ourselves?

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Maybe that's an experiment.

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Maybe I should walk up to a random person the next time I like, am at like that kind

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of next time I see someone, maybe I should do that and just say, Hey, can we be friends?

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That'd be a cool experiment.

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I don't know.

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But pretty much that'd be a cool comfort zone challenge also because that's out of my comfort

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zone.

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But I walk or we're, and then, okay, so we're at suburb camp.

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I've seen this guy around and all of these moments I've missed, like I had plenty of

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opportunities to walk up to him and say, Hey, can we be friends?

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And then this one day we are like me, I'm okay.

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So we're sitting in the main entrance of the camp, like the lobby area.

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And I'm sitting across the room from him and he is just on his phone or he's playing on

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like a electronic device with his friend, which was the younger guy.

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And so I'm just sitting there just kind of sitting on super scared, super nervous, super

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shy.

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And then I'm just like, Oh, and there's no adults in the room, by the way, which is probably

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why I mustered or probably how I mustered the courage to actually make the move because

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I never would have made the move if my parents were there.

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I don't know why.

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I always like question why I'm less courageous around my parents, but I don't know.

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I made the move.

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I decided to make the move.

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I'm like, okay, it's now or never, like I got to do this.

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Like I know that this is going to make my month, my summer camp experience so much better.

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So I made the move and that was probably one of the more difficult things that I'd done

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at that point in my life and it ended up being the best summer camp experience that I'd had

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probably ever up to that point.

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So that is me remembering that I'm courageous.

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And then the third thing was me remembering that I am good with girls.

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Like I am a natural ladies man.

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And it's when I was in elementary school, two, I don't, it's probably more occasions

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than this, but two occasions that I can remember in second grade, I sat next to like my desk

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was sitting next to like three other people.

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And then one of them was this one girl.

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And I just remember like always being very friendly with her.

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And then another time was in like fourth grade or third grade.

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I don't remember what years, but I was super friendly with another girl.

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And there was lots of like memories that I have of like just being comfortable around

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them.

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And so that's why I'm reminded that like I can be comfortable around girls and be very

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like friendly.

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And so that is pretty much the exercise that I went through yesterday, literally just sitting

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in my room and trying to remember my childhood.

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Like I didn't have the goal to think of different like traits that I had as a child that I have

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now.

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My goal was simply just to remember my childhood.

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And then like I sat in my room, my room is set up to where it can get pitch black if

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I want to because I nailed blackout curtains on the window and the doors door.

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And so I literally just sat in my room, turned the light off and set the timer for 35 minutes

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and literally just sat there on my bed thinking, what can I do?

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Or not not thinking that.

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I was literally just thinking, what was my childhood like?

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Like that was literally my broad question.

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And then I literally just let my mind race with different memories.

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And they didn't come spewing out by the way.

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Like they literally, it took probably like five minutes to warm up.

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And I've conditioned myself to be able to sit in silence over the past couple, over the

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past half of a year, so I'm able to do this.

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You might have a more difficult experience, but it's definitely worth it.

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So do that.

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I'm pretty sure it's called like Lothine and Inviting the Soul or something like that.

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If you just get the book, it's called The Power of Personal Storytelling by Jack Maguire.

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It's like chapter five or six or something like that.

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I don't know.

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Just read the book.

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I'm like not even a fourth of what I've done.

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And it's already changed my life.

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And it's because I'm taking action.

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So take action.