WEBVTT

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Maybe a little too fresh. You think maybe we

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could start the podcast? Yes, one more Riz face.

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Good morning, folks. Welcome to the show. My

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name is Phil Labonte here with Tim Hot Tub. Yes,

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I was hoping maybe we could get a bubble sound

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effect. Bubble yeah, I forgot work on that please.

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Yeah That's the crew We got a crew that's working

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super hard. We appreciate it We took I mean We

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didn't take a month off We were gonna take a

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month off and then I was like I got too many

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bits in my mind that I got a release It's like

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you need to have this release of tension. Yeah

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It really is a problem when I have too many jokes

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built up in my head And I'm not going out and

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getting fucked up enough and then releasing the

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jokes. I need to release them on the podcast

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So it's you're kind of an outlet. You're kind

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of a punching bag. I have a beautiful mind I'm

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not a punching bag, but the podcast podcast is

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a punch Yeah, you guys are a punching bag except

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for the page or the patrons of patreon .com slash

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bad economy Just got a free month. They're just

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we love them. We would never punch No, they're

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a beautiful audience. And then anyone on YouTube,

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you're our punching bag. We hate you. If you're

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listening on Spotify, I don't like you. So just

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hear that if you're on Spotify. We are on Spotify

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and Apple. Honestly, if you're listening on Spotify,

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if you're not listening on Spotify, YouTube,

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Patreon or Apple podcasts, if you're listening

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on some other gay thing, use a regular thing.

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Unless you're in unless you're one of our fans

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from like Bavaria. We have a lot of Nazi fans,

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I think. It's okay. So it's all okay. Sorry,

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I got mad at the fans. Sometimes the fans that

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have been with you the whole time you forget

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about them. No, I'm talking about I said I love

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talking about non patrons, non patrons. I don't

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like them. Not one bit. They don't like well,

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I know right the patrons are sorry. I know right

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the people so This is always this is an Asian

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Asian joker Rice so Siri rice You want to know

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how I got this rice I was thinking I'm talking

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about like a like Batmobile like That would be

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a losses wheel that sounds like a nursery rhyme

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I'll never lose. He might have lost his wheel,

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but I'll never lose my black guy comb brush.

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I mean, I was thinking of using like, you know,

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I got this lint roller for that. You know, I

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want to know where I got this black guy. He gave

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it to me. He just gave it to you. Yeah. Not only

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do I have a stack of inward passes, I got no.

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So this is well he didn't want it. Yeah. I mean,

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I'm literally. What does that say about it? Yeah.

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So this is trash. Take this off my hands white

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boy and folks say like that. Folks, we haven't

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been recording in a while. So I've been saving

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up my n word passes and join the Patreon at patreon

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.com slash bad company for that. I'm gonna let

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it loose. I'm pretty sure they cancel out by

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the way. I don't think you can hold even multiple.

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No, you can. If you're given by multiple people.

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They're not valid with any other offer. Hello,

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oh or with any other audience you mean Well,

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what I've been given them by probably most of

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the black people in Chicago Except for the ones

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that oh Probably most of them. I'm gonna save

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my work story for the pain for the patreon Yeah,

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let's do that, but I almost got killed in the

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ghetto. So I don't worry. I don't sell candy

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in the ghetto anymore. Yeah yikes Candyman it

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was a good run It was and I got along it. I always

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do well in the ghetto, but it's a different atmosphere

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out there now. It's a different animal, folks.

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It's an animal. I normally I love I love the

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ghetto. I love and the ghetto loves me. You ain't

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got to like it because the hood don't love it.

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You know, the hood loves me. But even about that,

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this particular neighborhood of Oblock did not

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like me. Not a big fan of a big Mac crowd. I

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was. I'll tell the story later, but I should

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have told them that I'm a BD and they probably

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would have liked me a little street cred to start

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out, right? Yeah, they Crucial I was like you

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just hate me cuz I'm white. Yeah It's a classic

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that ain't even a white boy. They said you people

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and I said you people white people. They're not

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my people That's right. I said that's racist.

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Yeah you people And then I was like, I'm so offended.

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And then they called me a cracker. I can't even

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say that. I shouldn't even say that. They called

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me the C word, the racist C word. Well, that's

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because you were doing the voice and insisting.

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They called me, they said, what are you, a saltine?

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And I said, no. They did not believe you were

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Asian. They said, what are you, Ritz Cracker?

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And I was like, whoa. You can't use you can't

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use the we can't use the word with the comparative

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insult Saltine was funny, but you can't say Ritz

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cracker Doesn't you're you're using the thing

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in the thing you could say. What is you a tow

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house? So putting on the Ritz yeah, they should

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have said what are you putting on the Ritz great

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song? That's what they should have said great

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song White boy, yeah This is it. What are you

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putting on the roots? I wonder where How Trump

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started the zip because it's great It means like

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full stop. I feel like bag is I feel like it's

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like taking the woman's dress off No, it's like

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the bag is zipped up That's the thing people

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are saying a lot now is full stop at the end

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of a sentence Have you noticed it? I never known

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then that your sentences are Oh, I hear it a

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lot on full stop and stuff that they say a sentence

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and they say full stop at the end. That's my

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statement. Full stop. I've heard of that. Yeah.

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Full stop. I kind of like it. We should start

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saying that it used to be the list. It used to

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be blah, blah, blah. Period. Now it's all about

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full stop. But it's it's not on the list of it's

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it's too public now. You know, it's it's like

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Stephen Miller and Peter Hegs that they're saying

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it. We gotta say words that reverberate with

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Gen Z and Gen Alpha. Like that guy's cooked.

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That's cringe. So good is based. Bad is cringe.

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If someone's cooked, they're cooked. There's

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no other way to put it. Yeah, it's just if they're

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cooked, they're cooked. Yeah. What have you ever

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seen that skit who's on first based mm -hmm?

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It's about some bass dudes Yeah, and they're

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like who's based one guys like I am they're like

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nice I like so that's that it's from like the

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1920s or something baseball, too Yeah, I was

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a little more old -timey sounded when I heard

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Yeah, speaking old -time. What the heck that

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was that Hitler guy doing bad guy? That stuff

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except if he did he did follow his heart kind

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of you had to respect that Not not the Holocaust

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obviously Terrible even attacking his neighbors

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awful thing, but he kind of had a good economy

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and he followed his heart And I respect that

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like you're just looking at the he followed his

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heart Maybe mainly he followed his heart. That's

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what I was because I respect anybody following

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their heart, whether they're Hitler or Jesus

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or or, you know, like who are some who are some

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like Martin Luther King Jr. Martin Luther King

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Jr. Martin Luther King had a dream. You know,

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that's kind of how I talk. But they all follow

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their hearts. And I respect that doesn't mean

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I respect what the person did. It's kind of like

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Kanye now. He's following his heart. It's like

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the art from the artist, but then it's right

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now both Maybe both I gotta say Hitler's art

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not bad people say he's like a not a great artist

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pretty pretty good It's pretty weird when you

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are looking at it, and it's a Hitler's art. It's

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good. I mean it's like it's just it's a He hated

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like he makes it he hated like degenerate art

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and like super abstract stuff and he like just

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like paintings that made things look beautiful,

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which I like that art. He's like, let's do this

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with. But but I but he did the Holocaust. You

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can't do the Holocaust. You don't attack Russia

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and the rest of the world and then just team

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up with Japan and Italy. What are you thinking?

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Now it's conflicting, especially the Holocaust.

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That's the worst thing to do. Yeah, it was just

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a very bad choice for the brand Yeah, you know

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that he I think he won like the Nobel Peace Prize

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literally at one point or he was on Time magazine

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for like being a Wow. Yeah, and then he did the

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Holocaust magazine And I won't do that. He definitely

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got canceled for the whole Holocaust thing Yeah,

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that's like cooked That's when cancel culture

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started the first guy to get canceled was Hitler

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For the Holocaust was still kind of too popular.

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Right. I mean, I was like, dude, what are you

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doing? Well, yeah, that was before we had the

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higher. That was before we had higher morals.

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Like back when like Genghis Khan was just or

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until the hunt even worse, just they would go

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to castles, kill everyone there, take all the

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treasure and then they'd move on. He wouldn't

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get canceled because that was just the normal

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thing. And it's a cool guy and cool guy. They

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would go right around with. bows and just surround

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cities and then kill everyone there take the

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women take people as slaves and just move on

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and That's how I feel about life. Like if you

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ever have an issue Just take care of it and move

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on. Yeah, maybe just solve the problem That's

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why they call me that till that's why I call

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me it until the Mac the Mac until of the Mac

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until of the Mac Until of the Mac a lot of people

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do okay most people in general. Is it like a

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karaoke thing? No, I wanted to join the karaoke

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circuit. I need to talk to I think Sonal Agarwal

00:11:25.740 --> 00:11:29.399
does the does karaoke circuit and I'm a way better

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singer than she is. I'm honestly a way better

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singer than probably anybody in Chicago. Maybe

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a sing off between Mack and Sonal. I know that

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I would sing a lot of songs better than her.

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If I sing Silver Stallion by the Highwaymen,

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it's four different voices that I do perfectly.

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Maybe we just each pick one song. No, that is

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one song. What song? Silver Stallion by the Highwaymen.

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What does that sound like? Just a little bit.

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I wanna steal me a silver stallion. And then

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the chorus is Johnny Cash. And we're gonna ride,

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we're gonna ride. You know that song. Riding

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like a one -eyed jack of diamonds with the devil

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close behind we're gonna ride Give it up for

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that that Willie Nelson house in I'm gonna chase

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the sky forever With a woman and the stallion

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and the wind it's tough to do it in talking level

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No, but it's interesting it's interesting Yeah,

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Sonal Agarwal can't do a four. She can't do a

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four artist song. That's my challenge. She can

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try to do like the Dixie Chicks or something,

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but it'd be more like the... What four artist

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song would you do? That song. Oh, she would just

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do a four artist rap song that just is way higher

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energy. Cuck you. She wouldn't be able to do

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a rap. Mine would be way more compelling. I would

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defeat Sonal Agarwal if I was doing a corn song.

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Maybe corn. Put on a corn song and a corn song

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only. Country ballad versus she's gonna rap Lil

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Wayne, Eminem. Well if she goes with Lil Wayne...

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Then I'll pick a different Lil Wayne song. And

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I will clap back because I know all the Lil Wayne

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songs. Well, you pick one that's a better song,

00:13:36.850 --> 00:13:40.049
but people know it less. I know. No, or one that

00:13:40.049 --> 00:13:42.669
people know well. What would you pick? Well,

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it depends what she picks. What would you pick

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if you had to go first? Well, my favorite one

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is playing with fire. But that one got taken

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off the card of three. Why? It might have been

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a copyright with the the hook. Mm -hmm, but that

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one is mama always told me I was crazy my ho

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say I'm amazing But I don't listen to a lady

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the bitches say I'm hot and I said no bitch I'm

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blazing like what the fuck you expect. I'm a

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motherfucking Cajun Wow, I might do the sky's

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the limit by little Wayne A milli I can do a

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milli but I'd rather do the sky's the limit is

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better because that's with the Mike Jones beat

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My job is just him. Crushing. But when you're

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saying for artists song, then it's four people

00:14:34.649 --> 00:14:36.769
on the song. Yeah, and saying you have to do

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each person's different voice. Yeah. So could

00:14:39.090 --> 00:14:41.629
you do that with four rappers like that? Probably.

00:14:42.429 --> 00:14:46.850
Yeah, I could probably do from the Carter from

00:14:46.850 --> 00:14:52.950
the Carter for Jadakiss. Andre 3000. Drake and

00:14:52.950 --> 00:14:57.179
Lil Wayne. Exactly. That's how that's how based.

00:14:57.340 --> 00:14:59.279
I know all that. That's how based I am is I know

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who's on that song and I can do all their voices.

00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:04.639
Yeah, do that instead of a country song with

00:15:04.639 --> 00:15:08.360
for Johnny Cash and well, people that are are

00:15:08.360 --> 00:15:10.340
all open with that and see how it goes. Because

00:15:10.340 --> 00:15:13.720
what she's going to be like a million here, a

00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:19.149
million there. Yeah, she'll lose. No way. If

00:15:19.149 --> 00:15:21.769
she went after you did a country ballad and she

00:15:21.769 --> 00:15:26.230
did a hip -hop banger. Okay, so Everyone knows

00:15:26.230 --> 00:15:29.929
it was so we did one round one round beat one

00:15:29.929 --> 00:15:32.549
round, but she has to do four people So one round

00:15:32.549 --> 00:15:35.789
would be oh, yeah one round to be four people.

00:15:35.830 --> 00:15:39.970
I would do that song probably and then She would

00:15:39.970 --> 00:15:43.009
do some ratchet song and then I would do hurt

00:15:43.009 --> 00:15:46.690
when we do one. No, that's my best song It might

00:15:46.690 --> 00:15:49.830
be your best song, but then it's like, I hurt

00:15:49.830 --> 00:15:56.049
myself today. Exactly like what have I'm the

00:15:56.049 --> 00:15:59.549
best at sounding like old Johnny Cash. I could

00:15:59.549 --> 00:16:01.610
sing Hurt way better than like Ring of Fire or

00:16:01.610 --> 00:16:04.570
anything like that. Do a little ring of fire.

00:16:04.750 --> 00:16:10.330
What have I become my sweetest friend? That's

00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:12.669
one thing if I'm a rapper, I just do my real

00:16:12.669 --> 00:16:18.299
voice. Yeah, just do your Do your based voice

00:16:18.299 --> 00:16:23.039
do my sometimes I do want this voice. Well, yeah,

00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:26.220
I did not see that coming. It's just part of

00:16:26.220 --> 00:16:28.159
a rap. That's what I meant. So yeah, it's like

00:16:28.159 --> 00:16:31.100
a look. It's like a low bass voice, but it's

00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:34.559
a bass. It's like B -A -S -S -E -D. Oh, wow.

00:16:34.779 --> 00:16:38.840
Yes. Yeah. But think about OK. So you said you

00:16:38.840 --> 00:16:41.080
were worried about me sounding too white and

00:16:41.080 --> 00:16:47.679
not know you. Hannibal Burris is good at sounding

00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:51.600
still somewhat black, but being monotone. You

00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:55.860
can do that. But rap. And be white. I think that

00:16:55.860 --> 00:16:59.559
he raps now too, maybe. He does. He was at North

00:16:59.559 --> 00:17:02.580
Bar in one of their last days. And then I was

00:17:02.580 --> 00:17:05.279
like, what are you Hannibal Barca from the guy

00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:08.420
who invaded Rome from Carthage? Roasted. And

00:17:08.420 --> 00:17:10.920
he said, no, I'm actually Hannibal Burris. And

00:17:10.920 --> 00:17:15.029
I said, oh, damn, glad to meet you. Really what

00:17:15.029 --> 00:17:19.869
time before I was a comic I ran I Didn't that's

00:17:19.869 --> 00:17:23.289
actually That one's a fake. No, I I met I met

00:17:23.289 --> 00:17:26.329
I met Hannibal Burris at North Park actually,

00:17:26.430 --> 00:17:33.849
but I ran to Eric Andre at the owl And this is

00:17:33.849 --> 00:17:36.329
before I was comic and I told him my my only

00:17:36.329 --> 00:17:39.869
joke at at the time Which was I was like, yo,

00:17:40.190 --> 00:17:44.359
I was like yo Eric You're hilarious. Can I tell

00:17:44.359 --> 00:17:50.519
you a joke? Obviously. He's like, yeah, sure.

00:17:51.039 --> 00:17:54.900
He's like, go ahead. And I was like. So Robin

00:17:54.900 --> 00:17:57.779
Williams walks into a bar, right? And the bartender

00:17:57.779 --> 00:18:01.880
says, hey, why the long face? And Robin Williams

00:18:01.880 --> 00:18:05.819
says, because I'm going to kill myself. And I

00:18:05.819 --> 00:18:09.420
just stared at Eric Andre in the eyes. And then

00:18:09.420 --> 00:18:14.740
he was like. Yeah, all right Wow That should

00:18:14.740 --> 00:18:17.160
be a joke. He was like, you know, you think so?

00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:19.720
I mean that was also before I was a comedian.

00:18:20.059 --> 00:18:21.539
Well, I thought you were just gonna say I've

00:18:21.539 --> 00:18:22.980
been doing improv my whole life I was trying

00:18:22.980 --> 00:18:26.680
to stand up joke for him And he was just what

00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:31.099
a dick. I've been doing improv for 31 years Yeah,

00:18:31.099 --> 00:18:33.799
it's like learn to appreciate if someone's telling

00:18:33.799 --> 00:18:36.619
you a joke it's supposed to be a gift to you

00:18:36.619 --> 00:18:38.799
and the universe Especially when I give people

00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:42.539
tags. I am literally tag nataro of Chicago I

00:18:42.539 --> 00:18:46.299
give people the best tags some take them some

00:18:46.299 --> 00:18:48.220
take them and the joke it's better the people

00:18:48.220 --> 00:18:51.619
that don't take them Joke continues to fail every

00:18:51.619 --> 00:18:54.000
time I have the best tags of anyone in the world.

00:18:54.019 --> 00:18:56.779
That's the best skill I have in comedy Stop doing

00:18:56.779 --> 00:18:59.539
that. I just realized that's like no dude. Don't

00:18:59.539 --> 00:19:03.500
just go give people advice Well, I'm my ass dumb

00:19:03.500 --> 00:19:05.640
man. No, I learned people that aren't worth it

00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:11.160
like Ed towns. I Just feel like I know and want

00:19:11.160 --> 00:19:14.500
to be told no tags from my experience. I like

00:19:14.500 --> 00:19:18.500
being told tags Me too. If someone has a tag

00:19:18.500 --> 00:19:20.339
on one of my bits, it'll be funny. I'll take

00:19:20.339 --> 00:19:23.660
it. But I'm not a stuck -up Ed Towns or Brandon

00:19:23.660 --> 00:19:28.059
Kiefer. Even Albers will take tags. I love Albers.

00:19:29.380 --> 00:19:31.599
So he's doing a show with Courtney. That's cool.

00:19:31.839 --> 00:19:35.400
What does it look like? Yeah, Matt Rife. I like

00:19:35.400 --> 00:19:38.880
Matt Rife. Yeah, she's like Matt wife. Matt wife.

00:19:39.059 --> 00:19:43.200
Nice. Matt life. Want to tell her that, dude?

00:19:43.339 --> 00:19:45.059
Matt Rife's kind of like Hitler, I feel like.

00:19:45.799 --> 00:19:50.160
He's not on a like he's like, okay, so Donald

00:19:50.160 --> 00:19:54.619
Donald Trump Hitler met right Hitler Kanye West

00:19:54.619 --> 00:19:58.079
Loves Hitler. He loves my right from Donald Trump.

00:19:58.079 --> 00:20:00.019
That was one of his lyrics was saying how can

00:20:00.019 --> 00:20:04.519
I How can I be Hitler when I'm up? And he said

00:20:04.519 --> 00:20:12.200
an F and N word. That's what kind of really Dude

00:20:14.140 --> 00:20:19.079
Something I got super offended this week Trump

00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:22.339
or maybe last week, but Trump posted someone

00:20:22.339 --> 00:20:25.220
didn't AI of him as the Pope. Oh, yeah, and I

00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:28.420
was I'm a Catholic and I was so mad I was mad

00:20:28.420 --> 00:20:33.440
as well. I was like He's not not the pulp. No,

00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:37.000
it's like sometimes maybe keep it in the drafts

00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:39.180
Yeah, I was so mad. Maybe you keep that one in

00:20:39.180 --> 00:20:42.220
the drafts where you're the Pope Yeah, I was

00:20:42.220 --> 00:20:49.589
so mad How mad were you? I was like... If I could

00:20:49.589 --> 00:20:52.309
just... Yeah, I said if I ever see Donald Trump,

00:20:52.690 --> 00:20:55.490
I'll punch him in the face, but I don't want

00:20:55.490 --> 00:20:59.109
to get an orange hand. Yeah, I know. You need

00:20:59.109 --> 00:21:03.329
to scrub your hands after. Yeah. If orange is

00:21:03.329 --> 00:21:06.029
the new black, then Trump is doing the new black

00:21:06.029 --> 00:21:08.589
face. Trump, I mean, Trump is the first black

00:21:08.589 --> 00:21:11.670
president. Might be the according to a black

00:21:11.670 --> 00:21:14.069
person. This isn't me as a white man saying this

00:21:14.069 --> 00:21:16.970
a black person said this I forgot who I'm sure

00:21:16.970 --> 00:21:19.009
several black people have said this because Trump

00:21:19.009 --> 00:21:23.990
is a gangster Might be the prime minister of

00:21:23.990 --> 00:21:28.150
the 51st state if he's on this tracks. Yeah.

00:21:28.609 --> 00:21:32.569
Well Alberta is just gonna join us. I think Alberta

00:21:32.569 --> 00:21:35.069
sounds like I want Alberta. They seem cool as

00:21:35.069 --> 00:21:39.359
hell. They're nice Canadians No, Alberta is one

00:21:39.359 --> 00:21:42.740
of the provinces of Canada. It's their conservative

00:21:42.740 --> 00:21:48.819
one, and it's the one with all the oil. You don't

00:21:48.819 --> 00:21:52.660
want them? They're kind of that. They're kind

00:21:52.660 --> 00:21:56.380
of... They're cool. They're like, I love maple

00:21:56.380 --> 00:22:00.220
syrup, and I like freedom. Cool. I don't like

00:22:00.220 --> 00:22:08.090
carbon taxes. Basic. Based. Basic. Basic. Bo

00:22:08.090 --> 00:22:13.849
whoa base dick. That's Sam Talents a base dick

00:22:13.849 --> 00:22:16.930
He's a dick at the in the base of him and but

00:22:16.930 --> 00:22:24.609
he pretends like he's a good guy Yeah Folks I'm

00:22:24.609 --> 00:22:28.130
talking to the loyal baddies up there at patreon

00:22:28.130 --> 00:22:31.630
.com slash bad comedy. I need you guys if Sam

00:22:31.630 --> 00:22:35.940
Talents ever in town Go to his show It'll be

00:22:35.940 --> 00:22:39.619
a good show. He's shows are good Afterwards,

00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:43.240
he's a bad person though. So afterwards Walk

00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:45.740
up or there'll probably be a thing to get something

00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:48.319
signed or walk up to him because he's a he's

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:52.240
a Cinco fan He wants to please all the fans But

00:22:52.240 --> 00:22:55.559
really himself in the process, right? He's but

00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:58.460
he says that he doesn't really care about anyone

00:22:58.460 --> 00:23:01.599
except for himself. So you walk up to him and

00:23:01.599 --> 00:23:05.210
say Hey, Sam damn glad to meet you. And then

00:23:05.210 --> 00:23:07.509
and then he'll start saying something and say

00:23:07.509 --> 00:23:11.769
not. And then say, and then with your hand with

00:23:11.769 --> 00:23:15.509
your hand, if you're listening in on audio, scribble

00:23:15.509 --> 00:23:19.630
out, it's like a sign off thing and say, sincerely

00:23:19.630 --> 00:23:23.829
bad comedy podcast. And then he'll say he'll

00:23:23.829 --> 00:23:27.230
say you're one of you love one of those guys.

00:23:27.910 --> 00:23:33.240
Say love. He gets triggered by me. Well, yeah,

00:23:33.339 --> 00:23:36.019
cuz you were calling him like heavy weight right

00:23:36.019 --> 00:23:39.059
away. Well, he's fat over what is he not fat?

00:23:39.059 --> 00:23:41.279
Wait, do you like him? He pretended to be your

00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:46.200
friend and then abandoned you I Don't I don't

00:23:46.200 --> 00:23:51.920
care for him. I like Nathan lawn still Even though

00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:55.140
that was a Jason thing Jason is fake Nathan Lund.

00:23:55.140 --> 00:24:03.069
I like the real Nathan Lund What do you think?

00:24:03.250 --> 00:24:07.609
What about Tim Gunn? Tim Gunn? Why doesn't he

00:24:07.609 --> 00:24:11.630
have a gun? Who's that in relation to? America's

00:24:11.630 --> 00:24:14.490
Next Tom Model, I think? Is that the guy with

00:24:14.490 --> 00:24:17.309
the white hair? Tim Gunn? I don't watch that

00:24:17.309 --> 00:24:20.970
show. Are you talking about Mike Pence? Yes,

00:24:21.130 --> 00:24:24.890
pretty much. Mike Pence? Same guy. One calls

00:24:24.890 --> 00:24:29.950
his mom mother. Oh, dude. Remember that? debate

00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:32.549
when Mike Pence had a fly flying on him like

00:24:32.549 --> 00:24:34.549
during the debate. Yeah, I just saw some Ghana

00:24:34.549 --> 00:24:37.009
dating show like talking to a girl and a huge

00:24:37.009 --> 00:24:39.930
just like a beetle or something flew on his head

00:24:39.930 --> 00:24:42.009
and just made him look disgusting. You want to

00:24:42.009 --> 00:24:44.369
know why the fly was flying on his head? The

00:24:44.369 --> 00:24:50.349
fly smelled sulfur. How do you know that? Because

00:24:50.349 --> 00:24:55.109
I was in a room with Mike Pence. And he smelled

00:24:55.109 --> 00:24:58.529
like sulfur. Now listen to me. All right. This

00:24:58.529 --> 00:25:03.599
was Three weeks ago. I was in DC You haven't

00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:06.099
seen Barack Obama out there much. She's kind

00:25:06.099 --> 00:25:08.019
of just so I was performing in DC. I was in the

00:25:08.019 --> 00:25:11.779
green room Barack Obama Mike Pence and Hillary

00:25:11.779 --> 00:25:17.259
Clinton walked in and They sat down and went

00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:22.900
Finally we can you know let loose and then all

00:25:22.900 --> 00:25:25.079
of a sudden their skin melted off and they were

00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:28.539
reptilian scaled people and the whole room smelled

00:25:28.539 --> 00:25:34.079
like sulfur. And then I said, I said, get a room.

00:25:35.059 --> 00:25:37.180
I said, get a room, guys. That was a good line

00:25:37.180 --> 00:25:40.039
at that time. Right, but I was in the room. And

00:25:40.039 --> 00:25:41.940
then so I left the room and I was like, you know

00:25:41.940 --> 00:25:43.859
what, I'll give you the room. That's what I said.

00:25:44.299 --> 00:25:47.240
Wow. And then, but. You gave him the room. I

00:25:47.240 --> 00:25:50.160
gave him the room. Really, that's the main story,

00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:53.509
but. It was kind of, I'd say, kind of a weird

00:25:53.509 --> 00:25:56.470
night. No, I'd say that doesn't happen every

00:25:56.470 --> 00:25:57.970
day. This is the first time I'm talking about

00:25:57.970 --> 00:26:01.529
this publicly. Yikes. I haven't really been on

00:26:01.529 --> 00:26:04.430
the radio much recently. So back on the radio

00:26:04.430 --> 00:26:08.269
and back on the radio waves, the frequencies.

00:26:08.890 --> 00:26:12.170
Right. And folks, if you are currently driving

00:26:12.170 --> 00:26:18.470
and listening, there's the Edens to the Edens

00:26:18.470 --> 00:26:22.490
to the post office is 30 30 minute delay and

00:26:22.490 --> 00:26:28.029
then Kennedy to the junction is not It's you

00:26:28.029 --> 00:26:30.250
know, it's funny. They still podcast. They still

00:26:30.250 --> 00:26:34.470
have those traffic reports where they call The

00:26:34.470 --> 00:26:36.970
the highway should never be called these these

00:26:36.970 --> 00:26:43.589
names We know them as 90 and 94 55 But 55 is

00:26:43.589 --> 00:26:49.170
a Stevenson 94 is the Kennedy note 94 is Eden's

00:26:49.170 --> 00:26:52.130
90s Kennedy But they still have traffic reports

00:26:52.130 --> 00:26:56.309
where they say the Kennedys to the junction.

00:26:56.410 --> 00:26:59.309
Dude, I don't know how high I am or was, but

00:26:59.309 --> 00:27:04.430
I saw Barack Obama presidential something. What

00:27:04.430 --> 00:27:08.509
was it? It was Barack Obama presidential tollway

00:27:08.509 --> 00:27:12.410
or something. Oh, so I was thinking, has it been

00:27:12.410 --> 00:27:14.769
Barack Obama tollway for a long time? I just

00:27:14.769 --> 00:27:16.750
didn't know. So he's the one I just high and

00:27:16.750 --> 00:27:19.970
I didn't know he's the one charging us. He must

00:27:19.970 --> 00:27:24.630
be the one the heck It should be lizard Obama,

00:27:24.630 --> 00:27:26.650
but we'll talk about that on the patreon. It's

00:27:26.650 --> 00:27:29.630
like how long has it been? Obama tollway, I wouldn't

00:27:29.630 --> 00:27:33.069
want a mall or tollway never that's mean as fuck

00:27:33.069 --> 00:27:36.269
Yeah, if it says tollway, maybe highway, but

00:27:36.269 --> 00:27:38.829
if it says tollway that means like Barack Obama

00:27:38.829 --> 00:27:45.490
ching. Thank you Life is a tollway. Yeah, you

00:27:45.490 --> 00:27:48.869
know my favorite road is The Jean -Baptiste Pointe

00:27:48.869 --> 00:27:52.609
du Sable Lakeshore Drive. Yeah, I used to have

00:27:52.609 --> 00:27:55.130
a bit as a mouthful. I used to have a bit where

00:27:55.130 --> 00:28:00.609
I was like. It was a bit where I would just go

00:28:00.609 --> 00:28:05.650
like. You guys heard they renamed Lakeshore Drive

00:28:05.650 --> 00:28:09.509
to Jean -Baptiste Pointe du Sable Lakeshore Boulevard

00:28:09.509 --> 00:28:13.569
Drive. It was I forgot the whole joke. It wrapped

00:28:13.569 --> 00:28:15.690
around, but I would add like a million things

00:28:15.690 --> 00:28:18.400
to it. Then I would say something in between

00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:25.920
and then say the whole thing again Well This

00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:29.619
is actually I debuted that joke and so I would

00:28:29.619 --> 00:28:32.779
only go to North bar at the beginning At the

00:28:32.779 --> 00:28:34.259
very beginning and then I went to my buddies

00:28:34.259 --> 00:28:36.640
I went on there was my first tour outside of

00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:39.079
North bar and I crushed there that was where

00:28:39.079 --> 00:28:43.339
I debuted my gun joke first time At and my buddies

00:28:43.339 --> 00:28:48.650
at a black open mic at a gay bar And they crush

00:28:48.650 --> 00:29:00.529
and also I had a joke there about Being a get

00:29:00.529 --> 00:29:03.569
being a gang member I forgot what it was about

00:29:03.569 --> 00:29:06.809
You do think gangs are funny though gangs of

00:29:06.809 --> 00:29:10.170
Chicago. Well, I've been around them when you're

00:29:10.170 --> 00:29:13.529
games when you're around them when you're Kind

00:29:13.529 --> 00:29:16.349
of consigliere to the black disciples you get

00:29:16.349 --> 00:29:19.269
a little bit of an insight You're that folks

00:29:19.269 --> 00:29:23.809
insight. It's unique Sexy, you just said folks

00:29:23.809 --> 00:29:28.089
folk nation. I heard a woman asked a question

00:29:28.089 --> 00:29:31.650
He is a part of folk nation She started a video

00:29:31.650 --> 00:29:33.609
by saying like I have a question for the men

00:29:33.609 --> 00:29:36.349
folk and I was just thinking of all the men folk

00:29:36.349 --> 00:29:41.769
out there just salivating Oh, they're like GDN.

00:29:42.009 --> 00:29:46.130
They're like GDN gang. No, that's folk nations

00:29:46.130 --> 00:29:52.950
GDBD. People nation is folk Latin Kings. And

00:29:52.950 --> 00:29:55.190
they have the thing about the way how many can

00:29:55.190 --> 00:29:58.430
there be? The Latin Kings are smart because they

00:29:58.430 --> 00:30:04.569
just encompass every Latino person. What do you

00:30:04.569 --> 00:30:07.529
mean encompass them? They let in anyone who's

00:30:07.529 --> 00:30:09.990
Latino, which means Mexican, Puerto Rican, whatever.

00:30:10.500 --> 00:30:12.779
Then you like the Mexican mafia that's Mexican

00:30:12.779 --> 00:30:15.319
you have black disciple and you have all these

00:30:15.319 --> 00:30:18.559
black gangs that are all splintered And then

00:30:18.559 --> 00:30:22.059
it's just and then and then you have one big

00:30:22.059 --> 00:30:25.980
Hispanic gang That's why they're so formidable

00:30:25.980 --> 00:30:27.680
and then you got all the white people really

00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:32.720
what the heck is going on Yeah in Chicago they

00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:37.160
used to have the gay lords the popes fuckers

00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:42.549
yeah, it's actually Very Christian the the Pope's

00:30:42.549 --> 00:30:47.170
the gay lords Popes are kind of gay The Pope

00:30:47.170 --> 00:30:50.170
was from Chicago or the new one. Yeah, we'll

00:30:50.170 --> 00:30:54.150
see if he's cool or not. You know He might be

00:30:54.150 --> 00:30:57.089
a might be a globalist. We'll see so I took classes

00:30:57.089 --> 00:31:02.910
at IO where IO Improv olympic. Oh, no He took

00:31:02.910 --> 00:31:06.910
improv classes He's a Zelensky. That's literally

00:31:06.910 --> 00:31:09.529
what I was gonna say. He's a Zelensky puppet

00:31:09.529 --> 00:31:14.269
No, that's for the patreon. That's for the patreon

00:31:14.269 --> 00:31:20.269
We can't talk about globalists in public no,

00:31:20.390 --> 00:31:24.250
it's just let's talk about The globe. Yeah, Sam

00:31:24.250 --> 00:31:26.950
talents. Tell me I was thinking about globes.

00:31:26.950 --> 00:31:31.769
It's like Okay, I could just buy a globe a globe

00:31:31.769 --> 00:31:34.710
i do want a globe yeah why don't i have a globe

00:31:34.710 --> 00:31:36.390
in my house i have this should have one that's

00:31:36.390 --> 00:31:38.750
like electricity right here but it's just blue

00:31:38.750 --> 00:31:40.990
light and then you spin it and you know it's

00:31:40.990 --> 00:31:43.849
funny how basketball how small they make africa

00:31:43.849 --> 00:31:47.970
they make it disproportionate it's so much bigger

00:31:47.970 --> 00:31:52.109
than that so folks on the side while i'm the

00:31:52.109 --> 00:31:54.990
side wall i have the standard map how much bigger

00:31:54.990 --> 00:31:57.609
is it it's bigger than how it looks in there

00:31:57.609 --> 00:32:00.529
it's enormous yeah Really, it's way better. It's

00:32:00.529 --> 00:32:03.950
like three times as big. Yeah Wow Does it still

00:32:03.950 --> 00:32:07.430
fit like a little cookie like South America fit

00:32:07.430 --> 00:32:13.630
into? It does yeah, it still fits in there. Well,

00:32:13.630 --> 00:32:18.089
it used to be pangea. Yeah, he's gay gay pangea

00:32:18.089 --> 00:32:20.130
It's a bit back in pangea. Everybody was gay

00:32:20.130 --> 00:32:24.049
as fuck. Oh gee days It was just kind of gay

00:32:24.049 --> 00:32:27.250
cavemen. Yeah gave him and they were like like

00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:32.339
Wee, gay. You know? Back in the day, everyone

00:32:32.339 --> 00:32:35.640
was Chinese, too. They were like, Harrow, gay!

00:32:36.240 --> 00:32:39.779
It's like ever... China was the one continent.

00:32:40.740 --> 00:32:43.940
China... It's funny when... You know that the

00:32:43.940 --> 00:32:47.299
current CCP is the same government that Mao had?

00:32:48.220 --> 00:32:53.200
Wow. And like 50 million people died in that

00:32:53.200 --> 00:32:57.960
CCP? Wow. That's bad. I learned that recently

00:32:57.960 --> 00:33:04.200
and I was like meows a dong Yeah Communism kills

00:33:04.200 --> 00:33:06.319
way more people than fascism, which is kind of

00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:09.579
weird. I Was like telling Mac like let's we should

00:33:09.579 --> 00:33:11.980
try not be political. Oh, no. No, I'm talking

00:33:11.980 --> 00:33:16.579
about ideologies It's all good though cuz no,

00:33:16.579 --> 00:33:18.759
I don't like fascism or communism I'm just saying

00:33:18.759 --> 00:33:20.859
communism kills more people. So Michael Cooper

00:33:20.859 --> 00:33:23.099
wants millions of people to die I think I heard

00:33:23.099 --> 00:33:25.900
like a an ad where's Michael Cooper's like a

00:33:25.900 --> 00:33:28.900
rapper and it was like and featuring like Michael

00:33:28.900 --> 00:33:33.019
Cooper. Oh, no Yeah, bro folks if you don't know

00:33:33.019 --> 00:33:35.500
who Michael Cooper is he's a communist comedian

00:33:35.500 --> 00:33:38.019
on the scene who was like who has two teeth he

00:33:38.019 --> 00:33:44.799
lost his teeth eating gumballs and he's Anyone

00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:48.900
who's a communist is They want like yeah, we

00:33:48.900 --> 00:33:51.460
want all your money. Well, we want you to be

00:33:51.460 --> 00:33:53.500
forced to give your money up You know, won't

00:33:53.500 --> 00:33:55.740
you leave that under under the pillow? We'll

00:33:55.740 --> 00:33:58.960
see if anything gets left for you. Yeah, let's

00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:01.480
get that tooth It's like maybe maybe get to work

00:34:01.480 --> 00:34:05.799
That's what I say. I say pull up your bootstraps

00:34:05.799 --> 00:34:10.460
To anybody who's a communist Anyone is who's

00:34:10.460 --> 00:34:14.030
an actual communist that doesn't doesn't have

00:34:14.030 --> 00:34:16.949
work ethic. None of them. I feel like it's the

00:34:16.949 --> 00:34:19.070
bootstraps thing. It's like people don't have

00:34:19.070 --> 00:34:21.909
those. Yeah, but. Sometimes they don't have.

00:34:22.849 --> 00:34:24.510
Sometimes they don't have them and then sometimes

00:34:24.510 --> 00:34:27.070
they don't have like even. Well, that's why you

00:34:27.070 --> 00:34:30.230
know that I started a new bootstrap line on the

00:34:30.230 --> 00:34:33.170
bad comedy store. Did we ever get a? Because

00:34:33.170 --> 00:34:38.650
I'm still hoping to get. We wanted to be outfits

00:34:38.650 --> 00:34:43.090
in the wooden shoes. We only got that we only

00:34:43.090 --> 00:34:45.949
got that donation from the billionaire how much

00:34:45.949 --> 00:34:53.090
was it five bucks Well, I mean he gave us five

00:34:53.090 --> 00:34:55.869
bucks he's a billionaire I mean, that's his fair

00:34:55.869 --> 00:35:00.789
share, you know, is that the suggested I mean

00:35:00.789 --> 00:35:07.710
he donated that's where it's like folks like

00:35:08.570 --> 00:35:10.789
Find some people that you know where it's like

00:35:10.789 --> 00:35:14.469
who has the money where they're just gonna do

00:35:14.469 --> 00:35:17.230
stuff with it Right find an eccentric just find

00:35:17.230 --> 00:35:20.369
an eccentric millionaire and say hey These guys

00:35:20.369 --> 00:35:22.650
want wooden shoes and beekeeper outfits and we'll

00:35:22.650 --> 00:35:25.150
do the podcast the beekeeper outfits on we'll

00:35:25.150 --> 00:35:28.590
make a bunch of sketches We'll just do the podcast

00:35:28.590 --> 00:35:31.429
the beekeeper outfits on and it'll be funny and

00:35:31.429 --> 00:35:33.760
then what wooden shoes on Because definitely

00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:36.079
do that the reason we wanted the wooden shoes

00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:39.199
is because we have fans in the Netherlands and

00:35:39.199 --> 00:35:45.079
also in mainly in actually in Brussels in Belgium,

00:35:45.159 --> 00:35:52.380
and that's where that's where the EU Center is

00:35:52.380 --> 00:35:56.119
that's actually the globalist like headquarters

00:35:56.119 --> 00:36:01.840
Do you think that Klaus Schwab is a big listener

00:36:04.630 --> 00:36:08.250
It could we have listeners right there We have

00:36:08.250 --> 00:36:10.170
some I think we have some Austrian listeners.

00:36:10.809 --> 00:36:13.489
I Like to look at the countries that listen and

00:36:13.489 --> 00:36:17.809
or that have listened to multiple episodes. I

00:36:17.809 --> 00:36:21.369
Like to look at the people Look at the people

00:36:21.369 --> 00:36:26.289
that's the song, right? It should be a song Like

00:36:26.289 --> 00:36:30.550
John Hickok plays the Beatles on a rooftop every

00:36:30.550 --> 00:36:34.070
time I do blow with them or when we were first

00:36:34.070 --> 00:36:38.230
filming the jackass kids Dale was like this is

00:36:38.230 --> 00:36:42.309
like Lenin meeting McCartney me and you oh yeah

00:36:42.309 --> 00:36:44.789
folks like that's just what Dale said and I don't

00:36:44.789 --> 00:36:48.409
know he's like successful so yeah folks go to

00:36:48.409 --> 00:36:53.070
uh saw the storm just go to uh bad boy comedy

00:36:53.070 --> 00:36:57.659
page and find McCartney find the video of me

00:36:57.659 --> 00:36:59.880
and Dylan doing this prank at Lincoln Lodge where

00:36:59.880 --> 00:37:02.059
we tell, we do a prank where we walk up to a

00:37:02.059 --> 00:37:04.460
comic and shake their hand all nice. And then

00:37:04.460 --> 00:37:10.219
I say, hey, how's it going? You're terrible at

00:37:10.219 --> 00:37:13.800
comedy. And they're like, what the heck? What

00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:17.159
the heck? And then it turns out the whole time

00:37:17.159 --> 00:37:20.199
they're on camera. The whole time you didn't

00:37:20.199 --> 00:37:24.260
even know. We did it with the suck. We did it

00:37:24.260 --> 00:37:26.059
with someone who was kind of big. You know that

00:37:26.059 --> 00:37:30.099
he's a career gambler to CJ Sullivan. Oh, that's

00:37:30.099 --> 00:37:33.119
funny. We just go into his face. He was a career.

00:37:33.500 --> 00:37:36.360
Well, yeah, he was he was funny. He was like,

00:37:36.679 --> 00:37:39.639
Damn, I just got x'd. Wow. Yeah, you're right.

00:37:39.659 --> 00:37:42.820
And I was like, Yep, you did mutual respect with

00:37:42.820 --> 00:37:45.179
him. But we're kind of ahead of him. He's cool.

00:37:45.219 --> 00:37:48.099
He's way cooler than Sam talent. He's actually

00:37:48.099 --> 00:37:50.500
should do that to Sam town. He's an ex big time

00:37:50.500 --> 00:37:56.139
alcoholic. I used to hang out at the back of

00:37:56.139 --> 00:37:58.500
North Bar with Jim the owner of North Bar and

00:37:58.500 --> 00:38:02.239
he'd be like He he would talk so quiet and there

00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:05.199
was a giant speaker right behind this the back

00:38:05.199 --> 00:38:14.139
of the bar and he'd be like He's like What what

00:38:14.139 --> 00:38:18.599
you'd be like TJ Miller Like what are you saying

00:38:18.599 --> 00:38:23.449
Jim and he'd be like a fireball Eventually it

00:38:23.449 --> 00:38:25.489
was funny because I saw the progression of Jim

00:38:25.489 --> 00:38:29.429
at North bar folks. This was the this was the

00:38:29.429 --> 00:38:32.309
Fun bar in Chicago where you can go. It's where

00:38:32.309 --> 00:38:34.929
I started you could just say the most fucked

00:38:34.929 --> 00:38:38.730
up things that you want. Oh Like you can say

00:38:38.730 --> 00:38:44.010
that like I Hate what Hitler did but he followed

00:38:44.010 --> 00:38:45.510
his heart and I respect that that's where you

00:38:45.510 --> 00:38:47.869
can say that you can't say that at the Lincoln

00:38:47.869 --> 00:38:51.860
Lodge or the Bug eye theater, whatever it's called.

00:38:51.860 --> 00:38:56.400
And then you got the fucking Annoyance, I'm not

00:38:56.400 --> 00:39:02.380
annoying enough to get in Folks if you're an

00:39:02.380 --> 00:39:08.599
aspiring stand -up comedian then Start a podcast

00:39:08.599 --> 00:39:11.440
We do there's need is there needs to be more

00:39:11.440 --> 00:39:14.980
podcast. There's not enough podcasts We need

00:39:14.980 --> 00:39:17.900
one that actually at least rivals us, you know

00:39:17.900 --> 00:39:22.840
like The last gazelle was clearly stolen by votes

00:39:22.840 --> 00:39:25.800
of a large Hispanic family that the gazelles

00:39:25.800 --> 00:39:28.000
don't matter. We want to that's all we need the

00:39:28.000 --> 00:39:31.219
one to punch. The gazelles don't matter. What

00:39:31.219 --> 00:39:34.659
matters is what matters is notoriety and popularity.

00:39:34.659 --> 00:39:37.320
And that's us. Everyone knows who we are. I would

00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:39.940
have just kind of cemented it. But then everyone

00:39:39.940 --> 00:39:43.619
knows who we are. It's folks. It didn't hurt.

00:39:43.820 --> 00:39:49.369
I went on stage and said it was stolen. And That

00:39:49.369 --> 00:39:54.469
that we're gonna do January 6th, yeah, we should

00:39:54.469 --> 00:40:01.610
do an award show on January 6th That'll be cool

00:40:01.610 --> 00:40:09.630
Anniversary or will storm the gazelles Yeah,

00:40:09.650 --> 00:40:11.670
we'll get a bunch of we'll rile up a bunch of

00:40:11.670 --> 00:40:14.289
maggot guys say the guys who beat up Jesse Smollett

00:40:15.909 --> 00:40:18.909
Or maybe just kind of we'll get the fake. We'll

00:40:18.909 --> 00:40:21.210
get the fake guys that beat up just the small

00:40:21.210 --> 00:40:26.269
way. No, we'll just get like red wine, blue fits.

00:40:27.550 --> 00:40:32.130
Sam hats, dude, Cuban cigars. You know what?

00:40:32.510 --> 00:40:37.989
I think that Republicans need to evolve past

00:40:37.989 --> 00:40:40.750
the whatever they're wearing with the Make America

00:40:40.750 --> 00:40:44.139
Great Again hat. I like that. But Everyone should

00:40:44.139 --> 00:40:50.239
dress up like the guy from her. It's declassified.

00:40:50.400 --> 00:40:55.079
No, no. What's the Uncle Sam? Everyone should

00:40:55.079 --> 00:40:58.139
dress like Uncle Sam. We should get nice, awesome

00:40:58.139 --> 00:41:01.219
top hats. Yeah. And suspenders that are America.

00:41:02.099 --> 00:41:07.039
That's that's that's the that's a fashion. Yes.

00:41:07.719 --> 00:41:13.070
Yeah, no, you can do white and blue. No. Do you

00:41:13.070 --> 00:41:15.230
do your because folks, I don't know if you know

00:41:15.230 --> 00:41:18.070
this, but Dylan's hiding some. He's got some

00:41:18.070 --> 00:41:20.570
hair down there now under his head. I'm not bald.

00:41:20.730 --> 00:41:24.230
It's just there's. Yeah, something. He's got

00:41:24.230 --> 00:41:26.769
devil horns, which kind of concerns me. Yeah,

00:41:26.769 --> 00:41:28.809
it's like, why does he want to have devil especially

00:41:28.809 --> 00:41:31.389
after I saw that whole Mike Pence, Obama, Hillary

00:41:31.389 --> 00:41:34.590
Clinton thing kind of worries me. I would need

00:41:34.590 --> 00:41:36.969
the cloaks. You're not creepy. You're not friends

00:41:36.969 --> 00:41:42.980
with them, are you? I wouldn't say. I wanna be,

00:41:43.780 --> 00:41:47.739
I don't wanna die in Obama's pond. He does have

00:41:47.739 --> 00:41:50.280
a pond, yeah. And I would take the job if he

00:41:50.280 --> 00:41:51.980
hired me. You know how many bodies are in that

00:41:51.980 --> 00:41:56.500
pond? Normally, so I did the science, normally

00:41:56.500 --> 00:42:00.199
a pond of the size of his pond would evaporate

00:42:00.199 --> 00:42:03.760
in like probably a half a year, but he's got

00:42:03.760 --> 00:42:05.960
so many bodies in there. The bottom, that the

00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:08.940
water level keeps rising. I've been to me you'll

00:42:08.940 --> 00:42:11.159
make you a body of water and I took a sample

00:42:11.159 --> 00:42:14.739
of the water and I got back a thousand different

00:42:14.739 --> 00:42:21.059
DNA samples of humans. Oh So I got some reptilian

00:42:21.059 --> 00:42:23.099
DNA so I think there might be some infighting

00:42:23.099 --> 00:42:27.159
chameleon and the different combos Well, we can't

00:42:27.159 --> 00:42:31.400
talk about that until the patreon Yeah, it's

00:42:31.400 --> 00:42:35.809
just kind of It's like kickball. It's like Strike

00:42:35.809 --> 00:42:38.610
your out. I saw someone playing dodgeball and

00:42:38.610 --> 00:42:40.769
they fake through it and then do it behind the

00:42:40.769 --> 00:42:45.590
back just Behind the back hard toss. Yeah, that's

00:42:45.590 --> 00:42:48.969
hard to do fire From far away though, and I'm

00:42:48.969 --> 00:42:53.210
really good at ultimate frisbee Really? I remember

00:42:53.210 --> 00:42:57.010
that go go full yard or whatever you said I go

00:42:57.010 --> 00:43:00.269
yard with the yard Yeah, I mean with the with

00:43:00.269 --> 00:43:03.170
the backhand I can make it fly but I'm also I'm

00:43:03.170 --> 00:43:06.539
also accurate. I'm also wicked backhand if I

00:43:06.539 --> 00:43:09.679
need to go from like behind a tree or around

00:43:09.679 --> 00:43:11.599
someone I'm pretty good with the forehand too

00:43:11.599 --> 00:43:16.039
but I'm amazing at landing a frisbee with the

00:43:16.039 --> 00:43:19.000
backhand it's it's wild I just tell everyone

00:43:19.000 --> 00:43:21.219
yeah I tell I tell everyone to go yard and then

00:43:21.219 --> 00:43:25.860
I just fling it and then it always does the right

00:43:25.860 --> 00:43:28.159
hook goes right around the defender and they

00:43:28.159 --> 00:43:31.909
grab it I look so stupid every time it's over

00:43:31.909 --> 00:43:34.610
and it's so funny. It's like when I play Madden

00:43:34.610 --> 00:43:36.489
against people who think they're good at Madden

00:43:36.489 --> 00:43:40.869
and I never play but I just run curls and I'm

00:43:40.869 --> 00:43:44.849
so good at the timing timing the curl it's perfect

00:43:44.849 --> 00:43:47.690
it's all that matters and then I let snap and

00:43:47.690 --> 00:43:49.989
then I let John Madden pick my defense and just

00:43:49.989 --> 00:43:53.110
set the controller down and it makes people really

00:43:53.110 --> 00:43:56.809
mad you give interceptions yeah I do and then

00:43:56.809 --> 00:43:59.760
I grab the controller again people get really

00:43:59.760 --> 00:44:01.699
upset at me and people have people have gotten

00:44:01.699 --> 00:44:06.260
upset at me a lot in my life and I say well sorry

00:44:06.260 --> 00:44:12.019
that I'm winning come here break wasn't need

00:44:12.019 --> 00:44:15.539
it Charlie Sheen talked about winning a lot yeah

00:44:15.539 --> 00:44:20.539
winning before even Trump really oh yeah winning

00:44:20.539 --> 00:44:25.289
he's like a Vatican Assassin warlock yeah Winning

00:44:25.289 --> 00:44:27.289
he was coked out of his mind probably barred

00:44:27.289 --> 00:44:29.690
out probably on everything He's probably doing

00:44:29.690 --> 00:44:32.269
the biggest like comedy gone TV kind of doing

00:44:32.269 --> 00:44:34.989
the best kinds of speedballs having aids having

00:44:34.989 --> 00:44:38.909
enough money to doesn't matter. Yeah We didn't

00:44:38.909 --> 00:44:41.250
eat tiger blood. He said he had tiger blood.

00:44:41.449 --> 00:44:44.110
Yeah, what if that is code word for something?

00:44:44.210 --> 00:44:49.429
We'll talk about the patreon. Yeah, yeah We should

00:44:49.429 --> 00:44:52.250
warn these people if someone's talking about

00:44:52.900 --> 00:44:55.420
Oh, yeah, your lizard brain. I really shouldn't

00:44:55.420 --> 00:44:57.820
have told they talk about lizard brain. Maybe

00:44:57.820 --> 00:45:00.780
I should cut that story about Obama out from

00:45:00.780 --> 00:45:06.239
the regular episode while Obama and Hillary and

00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:08.920
Pence. I don't think I've tried to cut that out

00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:12.239
and paste into the Patreon. No, I feel like they're

00:45:12.239 --> 00:45:15.340
definitely worried about what we're saying and

00:45:15.340 --> 00:45:17.860
going to act if they get that. Well, you know

00:45:17.860 --> 00:45:21.159
how the chances of them getting, you know, How

00:45:21.159 --> 00:45:25.440
AI works it'll it can find stuff and Bing? Email

00:45:25.440 --> 00:45:28.840
if it sees you've got mail. Yeah, Hillary. You've

00:45:28.840 --> 00:45:31.780
got mail. She's she loves emails. Was she in

00:45:31.780 --> 00:45:35.559
that movie? Is that Tom Hanks? Yeah for Hillary

00:45:35.559 --> 00:45:40.019
I want to see you got jail You've got jail. Yeah,

00:45:40.139 --> 00:45:43.840
they got put her in a lizard jail. Yeah Well,

00:45:43.840 --> 00:45:47.360
yeah, no, it's like she needs a heat lamp a cage

00:45:47.360 --> 00:45:50.619
really She needs a heat lamp. It needs to be

00:45:50.619 --> 00:45:55.199
like a glass, a big glass. But it is prison.

00:45:55.980 --> 00:46:00.480
Right. It needs to be like where a bearded dragon

00:46:00.480 --> 00:46:02.900
would live. You get the heat lamp on top and

00:46:02.900 --> 00:46:06.880
then you get the little wooden thing you can

00:46:06.880 --> 00:46:14.900
go into. Like the little small shelter. And then...

00:46:15.019 --> 00:46:17.639
Well house on the prairie, but then they'll need

00:46:17.639 --> 00:46:22.219
a filter to follow sulfur smell More I'm all

00:46:22.219 --> 00:46:26.719
about filters more filters in life. I Filter

00:46:26.719 --> 00:46:32.519
my water because I don't want I want Good water

00:46:32.519 --> 00:46:39.579
like good burger. Yeah less fluoride less whatever

00:46:40.420 --> 00:46:43.659
Shit is in the gross, Chicago. We do have the

00:46:43.659 --> 00:46:45.679
freshest water, some of the freshest water. We

00:46:45.679 --> 00:46:48.239
should make our own water. But Evanston water

00:46:48.239 --> 00:46:51.039
was better than Chicago water. Let's make some

00:46:51.039 --> 00:46:54.519
bad comedy water. We should. It'll have the Barney

00:46:54.519 --> 00:46:59.880
on it. Barney water. People call it Barney. Yeah,

00:46:59.880 --> 00:47:03.019
and if anybody tries to make me rebrand the podcast

00:47:03.019 --> 00:47:08.840
cover, it's never gonna happen. No, it's beautiful

00:47:08.840 --> 00:47:12.719
Barney. It's that's a picture of my dad when

00:47:12.719 --> 00:47:19.079
he used to be a Barney So, I mean I was thinking

00:47:19.079 --> 00:47:21.860
of doing a dumb joke like based off yours where

00:47:21.860 --> 00:47:25.199
I'd say I was born purple and then it's like

00:47:25.199 --> 00:47:30.960
what was my dad thinking like My dad's at the

00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:33.760
birth and it's like his son is purple and he's

00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:39.269
not purple Is that your mom fucked the purpose

00:47:39.269 --> 00:47:44.210
of Barney? No fucked the McDonald Oh grimace.

00:47:44.409 --> 00:47:46.809
Yeah, like it'd be like then I'd say like are

00:47:46.809 --> 00:47:49.750
you been fucking grimace? Yeah, just be a retarded

00:47:49.750 --> 00:47:52.809
like caricature of a comedian being like well

00:47:52.809 --> 00:47:55.389
you've been fucking grimace And just see how

00:47:55.389 --> 00:47:58.889
many people would laugh at it Yeah, like that

00:47:58.889 --> 00:48:03.010
joke. Tina Katana. Yeah, like I would be saying

00:48:03.010 --> 00:48:07.719
that like that same idea Do you think Tina Katana

00:48:07.719 --> 00:48:10.280
has any honor? She's Grimace's mom. Is she is

00:48:10.280 --> 00:48:13.840
she woke again? Has she changed her hair from

00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:18.360
purple to brown again? I feel it's like she's.

00:48:18.500 --> 00:48:22.059
Did she change it back to a wild color? I think

00:48:22.059 --> 00:48:26.179
it's a chameleon kind of changes whatever day

00:48:26.179 --> 00:48:29.719
of the week it is. I think she's still as friend

00:48:29.719 --> 00:48:34.090
of mine though, but I would say to her. Hey,

00:48:34.829 --> 00:48:38.110
maybe she's a shape -shifter. That's Patreon

00:48:38.110 --> 00:48:40.989
stuff. Oh, yeah. I'm afraid of shape -shifters,

00:48:41.230 --> 00:48:44.550
you guys. Yeah. She's not a shape -shifter. Hey,

00:48:44.550 --> 00:48:47.150
guys, we're not Whoa Heidel, just so you know.

00:48:47.449 --> 00:48:50.610
That's why it's funny to me. Yeah, neither of

00:48:50.610 --> 00:48:53.010
us are going to self -cancel ourselves. So if

00:48:53.010 --> 00:48:55.809
that story about Obama and Hillary and Mike Pence

00:48:55.809 --> 00:48:59.670
gets out, we're not self -canceling. I'm not

00:48:59.670 --> 00:49:03.079
self -canceling. You might get you might get

00:49:03.079 --> 00:49:04.880
canceled by affiliation. So I just want to make

00:49:04.880 --> 00:49:09.059
sure that they know what do you Have you have

00:49:09.059 --> 00:49:11.199
you been fucking grimace something you've been

00:49:11.199 --> 00:49:13.559
you've been fucking that grimace Yeah, why you

00:49:13.559 --> 00:49:15.139
been fucking there? You've been fucking grimace

00:49:15.139 --> 00:49:18.039
again. She you got that purple hair. You've been

00:49:18.039 --> 00:49:21.539
fucking there grimace No, but my other catchphrase

00:49:21.539 --> 00:49:26.039
would be catchphrase. I kind of say when Yeah,

00:49:26.059 --> 00:49:27.920
maybe kind of a time when you want the audience

00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:32.050
to laugh or say or do an elaborate joke at the

00:49:32.050 --> 00:49:36.909
end say punch line in nice dance a or no no in

00:49:36.909 --> 00:49:41.409
deadpan say punch line punch line okay there's

00:49:41.409 --> 00:49:44.909
an instant banger punch line and catchphrase

00:49:44.909 --> 00:49:50.210
yeah I'm like the I'm the I'm the king designer

00:49:50.210 --> 00:49:55.909
of comedy I know what fits into where. If I see

00:49:55.909 --> 00:49:59.909
a joke or a thing going on, I know exactly the

00:49:59.909 --> 00:50:02.269
missing pieces of the puzzle to put together.

00:50:03.710 --> 00:50:08.829
I'm like what Stephen Miller is to the Trump

00:50:08.829 --> 00:50:12.170
administration. I'm the guy who makes things