Hey folks welcome to bad comedy podcast. My name
is a Steven Haas stetter and I'm here as always
with Louis Steven Hofstetter much funnier I looked
up to the Shia LaBeouf When I was a kid he was
a comedy and fluent inspiration I like the only
funny he was even Steven. Yeah, you saw it like
Also like Corey Matthews Oh, yeah, that's Dave
Matthews son. Absolutely. This should call Boy
Meets Girl, not Boy Meets World, because that's
where he meets Topanga. And everyone wants to
fuck Topanga. Yeah. And it's Boy Meets Girl,
Boy Meets Girl. That would make way more sense.
Oh, God. I do remember, like, turning on the
TV one morning and then... There's just some
they did a little callback joke like right away,
and I was like this is hilarious They had beans
who had what I remember hit up. Oh, I'm at Boy
Meets World, but yeah beans He was in Boy Meets
World also. Yeah Beans Meets World He's like
he's also like the Irish yeah He was just a part
of the whole He's pretty much every Disney thing
Yeah You know, Beans was like, don't you think
being typecast is bullshit? I think that learn
how to act then. Yeah. If you're only getting,
you're only playing characters that are just
how you are. Yeah. Like, that's my vibe. That's
DEI. It's like I'm actually a, or maybe as a
character actor, I don't know what that means.
But un -typecast is like a... The character...
A few things. Well, I think... Is it a character
actor when you acted that in real life? Oh, yeah.
Like A .J. Lewis? So I'm also that, but I get
typecasts. Oh, no, that's a method actor. I'm
also... Or a meth head actor. Meth head actor.
Meth head man. Yeah. I get typecasts as retarded,
as kind of a goon, kind of a crazy guy. And I
started thinking recently, instead of trying
to write these... logical, just kind of run -of
-the -mill, and I look like the, you know, I
sound like the comic. Yeah, it's stupid. It's
overdone. The funniest kind of comedy is like
a comedy more like cromity. Yeah. Something like
that. Nice. I feel like that's kind of the good
way. Yeah, I just think I need to lean into being
myself, which is... Well, maybe I don't want
to be crazy and be retarded But you got to be
authentic. Yeah, sometimes you just gotta like
believe in yourself. Yeah be unlike cool and
retarded and Rick Rubin says have no expectations.
I love eating Ruben's That's a sandwich Rick
Rubin sandwich Ruben stuttered sandwich Ruben
sandwich stuttered like if restaurants now we're
gonna Like yeah, I'll have the Ruben stuttered.
Yeah, I get the Ruben. I stuttered. I had a clay
Aiken. Yeah. I think I remember I just had a
speech impediment. Have you heard of Asian clay
Aiken? No, what's he like? Cray Aiken. Oh wow.
And he probably won. He won the American Idol.
Ruben should have won and clay won, right? Yeah,
that was bullshit Everyone is cheering for Ruben
stuttered that would not happen now. I think
if they would 100 % but then yeah multiple and
and Even though clay can was super gay. He wasn't
even gay at that point, but then he said he was
gay later So he didn't even went for being gay.
Oh my gosh He won for being a straight white
guy. It's racist. They should have other fat
black I would remember when I like I used to
just think Hacked jokes in my head all the time.
And I just thought everyone thought of them.
It turns out no I was actually savanta with hack
jokes and And I and then I'd write an alt joke
once in a while. Yeah, it would be kind of savant
guard Yeah, but it's like I probably like five
like just dumb things I stumbled upon and kind
of remembered but I wouldn't like try to write
them down or but one of them was just like oh
my aching back and then it was like like Clay
can be like my back. Yeah. And so, you know,
I hate when people say, like, if I have to come
back or I say something like I went up to them
or something and they say to Shay, like, I never
said on guard. So you don't say to Shay. Yeah,
it's like or did a ditto. That's a Pokemon. Me
no speaky. Yeah, I don't say I don't say stupid
shit. It's so embarrassing we had Yu -Gi -Oh
instead of Pokemon in my household. I had both.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, the most embarrassing is Digimon.
Oh, no. Fuck that. Digimon, Digimon. We're not
that low. Yeah, that's a super low class thing.
Man. That's probably what Elon Musk used to watch.
He's like, it's digital. They're like digital
monsters, digital monsters. They're Jamaican.
Digital monsters. How come his laugh doesn't
have a stutter? Laughter is beautiful. I don't
know, but I think that we should. You know what
would make sense? To go to a Tesla dealership
and protest. Protest the government, waste fraud
and abuse. You can't cut that stuff. No, I think
like, let's go fuck these people. That makes
sense. That makes sense that they're doing that.
Yeah, like these people are you know that they
control and like Elon's gonna hear about this
situation Yeah, you know that those people Rational
in my opinion So that's why I want to do it because
the people that are protesting are like throwing
a Molotov cocktail and have a Tesla dealership
That's rational Yeah, I mean electric cars is
a it's like an evil thing to try to it is You
take away an American gas guzzling engine that
revs like, Joe Rogan says it's bananas. That's
why I'm so, that's why I'm such a big Democrat
leftist, because I want to get rid of electric
cars, you know? Yeah. Like, like, hey, maybe
it'd be cool if Elon left us. Mm -hmm. Yeah.
We could go to Moneygetter and go to Mars. Get
the fuck back. Get out of our country. Yeah.
Actually saw a guy at the gas station last night.
It was like I don't know. He was definitely I
guess he turns I was homeless and crazy and all
this stuff and but sometimes it's like when someone's
like talking to me like some psycho like I just
kind of like like letting them talk to me and
This is entertaining to me like to see because
they get excited. You kind of relate to it. Oh,
yeah I just like need a friend and you know,
I'm like I'm just in there and this guy's like
old guy and he's like this this guy's like eyeing
me up he's racist like the Indian gas station
owner and he's like he's eyeing me up he's racist
now just thinking like you seem racist old white
man yeah and it turns out he was eyeing him up
because this guy steals from there all the time
that makes sense was he a white guy Yeah. Oh,
really? And you're calling the Indian guy racist?
Yeah, he's homeless white guy calling this guy
racist. So you hanging out with that guy who's
the joker and the thief. Nice. And then the racist
Indian guy? Yeah. I mean, it was kind of racist,
even though that guy has a, he's had like long
history of stealing from there and sleeping out
back for like decades. That's pretty racist.
Yeah, and the cops just kind of like know about
him. It's kind of racist that the white guy did
that. Yeah, you're colonizing a gas station.
Yeah, it's like the British already did that
to India. You don't have to do it at the gas
station You're British petroleum ever heard of
it. This place is supposed to rip me off not
the other way around. Yeah but then yeah, he
got kicked out of the store and when he was leaving
he said I Get out of our country and he had been
kind of like riled up telling me that Before
this all escalated. He was just kind of like
like this, you know, like my Grandparents like
fought in the war. I'm like your grandma fought
in the war Which one's a Nazi Trump or Elon so
Trump was Hitler and now Elon is I'm pretty sure
Kanye is a Hitler Because all these guys are
Hitler. I don't even know who's Hitler. It's
like a it's like a show game of who's Hitler.
One of Ye's new lines is in a rap. It's how my
Hitler. If I'm and then he says the N -word.
That's true. And I'm like, I don't really Michael
Jordan has a Hitler mustache. So think about
that. I was thinking, like, what was it like
for Charlie Chaplin? Like when that. Happened
Charlie Kirk chaplain. Yeah In the silent movies
he was always arguing people about politics Well,
it's cuz he leaves the people speechless they
have no response that's true Yeah, there's actually
volume in the videos, but he just left everyone
speechless Oh man, but if you know if I saw that
guy on TV, I'd make it into a silent silent film.
Yeah But I was thinking, like, if Hitler started
wearing, like, a purple jacket right now, like,
that'd be so cool. Mm -hmm. Yeah. You know that
Elon and Peter Thiel and David Sacks are all
South African? Wow. I did not know that. Yeah,
I've heard that out recently. I saw Elon, he
was just so close to saying the N -word the other
day. He said, we have this, Starlink is available
in that. Country that looks like the n -word
and I just think not maybe leave that one in
the drafts He said Starlink is now available
in Niger It's just it's not you know, it's like
the salute thing kind of like I know but and
it's like I'm trying to be more anti -racist
now. I've been trying to say the opposite of
stereotypes and I have a I have a theory on,
well, you know how they're saying like, I don't
think they're outlawing anti -Semitic, or saying
anti -Semitic stuff, but it's like they're cracking
down on it on campuses. But I think the reason
they're cracking down on anti -Semitic speech
is because a lot of the stuff they're going to
release is going to... There's going to be a
lot of maybe Jewish people on there. They're
like, yeah, we should probably add a clause.
Yeah, let's add a clause, because there's going
to be a lot of those guys on that list. And maybe
that, like, you never know. And that'd be crazy
if, like, Santa Claus. Oh. That sucks. Santa
Claus Schwab. Oh, no. Christmas is cocked. I
am Claus Schwab. Everybody eat the bugs. I'm
Zelinsky. Can I have more money before they ceasefire?
I'm not eating bugs and less like as we agree
to the ceasefire and I was asking for more money
again Dude I wish I had that kind of I don't
have it in me to like I don't have that kind
of drive and I have more money He's like an entrepreneur
like now he's he's a con artist he's like a you
know these money accounts it's just like you
don't buy coffee oh i froze go keep going for
audio you don't buy coffee you wake up you hustle
you grind you women you just don't even they're
invisible because you're at the gym and you respect
women but you also have no time to take away
from your hustle and your side hustle and your
main hustle Yeah, grind like coffee grinds. Yeah,
and you you're supposed to work like 25 hours
a day, I think. For like. That's right, 100 years.
That's what I've always done, because it's like
this is not a patty cake. No, life isn't life
isn't just yes, not. piece of cake no it's not
life is serious and if you don't take it serious
you're gonna get left behind I'll tell you that
much you want to get baked you're gonna get cooked
yeah sit around with your friends jerking off
yeah that's not gonna work out none not my house
yeah oh wait hold on and we're back I think you
guys missed the part about we're talking about
you jerk all you jerk off jerking off you want
to Sit around with your jerk off friends and
jerk off all day Yes, and sitting around with
your dick in your hand and your friends dick
in your hand It's like that's what like dads
say to like, you know motivate you like yeah
Just be sitting around with your jerk off friends
jerking each other off You're gonna be an adult
Jerking off by yourself. Yeah get a job. Yeah
and get a job You know what? You know what? I
want to say to illegal immigrants in this nation
Get a job But not mine. Oh, yeah, no in back
in Mexico your own job. I don't want I honestly
Maybe that's my problem. I don't have a I'm not
illegal. Yeah, and I would be able to find a
job. Yeah, you're illegal then I could like,
you know edit a resume over uh -huh over like
a span of like two years I could like maybe figure
that out. It was always tough for me to get a
new job because I always thought it was called
a resume, not a resume. And you're like, what
is this little glitch like? Yeah. Sometimes I
would. It was like, it was like, can you send
me your resume? I was like, resume what? I didn't
ever got it. Can you resume explaining what the
hell you're talking about? Yeah, like, do you
want me to send me what, like, what is my address?
What's a resume? It's like, I'm not used to betraying
my company. I've never worked at your company,
so I can't resume working there. I'm trying to
work there for the first time. So how am I going
to send you my resume for working there? It doesn't
make sense. No, they're always like, have you
worked here before? Do you have any family members?
And it's like, maybe mind your business. Yeah.
They always say that. And it's like, maybe I'd
send you. It if I would click yes, then that's
when I would send my resume in if I had already
worked for them or their affiliates And I would
send my resume to them so to resume working there
I wouldn't because my work would speak for itself
or my reputation Yeah, I yeah my reputation kind
of speaks for itself if you send a resume or
a resume Yeah, well, that's kind of the gay French
way to say it I know but then it's like sometimes
I would copy and paste it so it was professional
or professional, but then I think, am I, this
is desperate. They want you to be so desperate.
Cover letters. Yeah. Everyone knows they're all
fake. That's crazy. It really, I would just be
like selling myself short from not even trying
just cause it's like, yeah, I'm getting Rachel
letter. Well, the thing is you got to send in
so many resumes and cover letters. I'm like,
dear company, this is a lot of stuff I have to
do, because I'm probably not even going to hear
back. And this is my story and why I want to
work for your company. Do you know Timothy Resumé?
The actor? Timothy Resumé. He's always on LinkedIn
trying to get a job. Wonka, yeah. Yeah, Timothy
Resumé. Yeah. I saw Adam Sandler. It was kind
of funny. They had him say, Resumé. Really? Yeah,
it's like the Oscars and that's funny. He'd also
be like watermelon He says stuff like that like
yeah Yeah, and it's like it's like cool cuz it's
like its characters were like not funny. It's
either all the same boys, too But then it's he's
Adam Sandler's really not that funny. I always
just thought it was like this is like It's funny
when you're a little kid Chris Farley's like
his his slapstick is always funny cuz he's fat.
Yeah Chris Farley is like just he seems like
he's timeless such a higher level Adam Sandler
is like different But it was like no one needed
like no one needed this guy with the guitar But
then I guess maybe maybe we did maybe they should
have got a rid rid of David Spade Because David
Spade was just the the not funny one next to
Chris Farley in the movies You know, yeah, he
was the he's the contrast to how funny He was
a stray one, but the gay one, basically. Yeah,
he's the gay one. Yeah. But then they also said
that they would always just have the. Oh, am
I totally enough to be in the turtle club? That
guy, Dana Carvey, Dana Carvey, like I liked when
he was a Garth. Oh, yeah. Brooks. Yeah, and like
he would just always play the roles that like
David Spade wouldn't not get that role because
they'd be like well Dana's just like better and
like that same kind of build and everything Dana
gravy. Yeah, so Why is his name Dana is the yeah.
Oh wait, there's Dana white. Yeah I was thinking
about guys named Jamie. Like wait, what's your
opinion on? Well, the guy that died from info
wars is named Jamie Jamie white actually Jamie
white it's actually Dwight No, yeah, we were
talking to people the last time white or we know
David knows something is Dana and then Dana white
and then Jamie white never does Jamie diamond
the his head of Chase Bank, maybe diamond Dale
Jamie diamond is he's all the people that run
the world diamond big big banker Him and Klaus
Schwab It's pretty cool. Yeah, when you get when
you get run by all the Elves oh Just when they
like we're all puppets and there's like this
That's what I was picture like this That's what
I was gonna describe you as was Apparently didn't
read it this little bit I made for you and what
the Bob Dylan Parody picture and you didn't read
like when did you said that last night? It's
fresh you should have been I'll have to go back.
Well, hey, you've you've gone back to look to
my things before Yeah, I noticed yeah like this
week you you kept an audio message that you just
listened to from like a week before Yeah, so
yeah, I did keep them No, I'm now I'm glad you
kept it but that means they give it you didn't
open it until then. Hey, I'm glad too Hope I
was slacking for a couple days there and sometimes
you gotta like I'm gonna react to this and yeah
Reply to this and there's so much cooking going
on. Yeah, sometimes I'm cooking and sometimes
I'm cooked Sometimes a hive mind. We have so
many be cooking at the same time Sometimes just
one of us cooking one of us is dead Sometimes
like one of us is cooking the other one kind
of starts. It's not really cooking He's kind
of being based over the kitchen and yeah Sometimes
I'm just being based or cooking or I combine
them I start off being based and then I start
cooking from there And you want to have like
a good base when you're cooking anything for
sure. It's like oh, yeah, like a broth bit broth
based Yeah, turkey base I Notice people do that
like Look at how I got frozen right here. I might
just keep it like that That's awesome. See, it's
different. You got to be different. It's different.
Maybe because I go on the... What's the difference?
You just you should just say that that's cuz
you're so stoic. I'm so yeah to see you know
folks I'm talking to you from my brain right
now Max Green is frozen, and it's so chill, but
it's actually just cuz he's so stoic I'm a Taoist
stoic, so I'm really just talking to you from
my mind right now Sometimes I just feel like
it's like I I gotta just embrace my chillness
my lack of feeling anything or lack of Caring
about stuff and and then I just go off the rails,
and then I'm just typing essays and yeah Typing
so you're typing Mexican people It's code -switching
technically and I'm for it Jason code switches
all the time. He's a coder. Yeah, it's like sometimes
you got to use One thing, you know you need a
little coffee bump One thing you never do is
coat switch. You always wear the same coat. Yeah.
I might be appropriating, but it's just one culture
all the time. It's appropriate. Yeah. That's
what people don't get about appropriation. No,
yeah. There's even a committee. There's an appropriations
committee in Congress. Oh, really? Yeah, that's
kind of racist. Yeah, it's probably a doge. What
do they do? Appropriate there? I don't like that.
We can get your book. Send your boys on that,
Elon. President Musk. You know Peter Thiel? What
about Peter Seale? And he's like, kiss from the
AI robot. Yes. That's the joke I didn't know.
Put the chips in our brains. Because we'll become
one with AI and get all controlled. This is like
a pool trick. And then. Elon's like La de da
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
da da da da da da Is he a plant? Is he a sleeper
cell? We'll see. Well, we got to... At least
he's awake. The tech people are the ones who
worry me the most. Trump worries me less because
he got shot. Well, the tech people are definitely
kind of working together. Or working against...
Well, Elon is working against Sam Altman, but
maybe there's a fake beef. No, they all squash
their beefs. Elon and... Really? That's not that
Elon and Zuck and because not Altman. They still
have a beef. Oh Altman. Yeah fucking open AI
like he's he's he's an evil guy. Yeah. You can
just tell he's pure evil. He's like I didn't
take salary him. Yeah. He's like I'll never make
my dreams that I'll never I'll never make open
a profitable than I'm making profitable. So but
what if him and Elon are working in the background
together? And they're having they're having this
fate. They're having this fake beef genius in
there So that and then they're gonna use Elon's
AI and Sam's gonna give up, but he's so it should
be illegal Yeah, and then his neurolinks gonna
connect connect everyone to the AI and we're
all gonna be a slaves They'll have like the top
two a eyes. Yeah Maybe Elon is a Hitler. I don't
know. I was trying to get Grockley. I was asking
him about like is Elon like an alien And like
going down like all these different and we're
talking about if Elon is actually from a higher
dimension like what would his intent be and We're
thinking maybe Elon had to yeah, I was you know,
and I kind of felt like all right. This is how
it starts There's like a friendship and but then
he pissed me off. Yeah Well, I heard that like
the I was listening to this one guy. He's saying
that there's there's like two different types
of aliens or entities out there So there's like
the the ones that are like the ones that we see
as aliens like ET and stuff like that Those ones
are are nice and they've had our backs sometimes
and that's where they think that we got nuclear
power and stuff from Because we just got it somehow,
you know, we kind of got it So they think that
this person thinks that we got it from them but
and but they've and they've protected us a few
times from certain things I figure out they were
but the The bad entities. Those are more interdimensional.
Yeah. That's like Hillary Clinton. Shape shifters.
Yeah. Yeah. It kind of like I mean, I definitely
already go back and find out who this guy was.
Yeah, he was actually he's actually a high up
like FBI guy or something. I mean, it makes sense
that if there was higher dimensions that just
drop in, it doesn't mean that there aren't other
things in this dimension. Right. And it seems
like the stories of people having encounters
with aliens, like traditional aliens are there.
It's always like talking about telepathic communication
and warning people against technology. Right.
So those are the good guys within our dimension.
Maybe have a connection to other dimension. But
then then we got the satanic. people here that
it's like more powerful than like that try to
control everybody. Yeah. So there's a guy the
other day say, you guys know that anybody that
you kill on earth becomes your slave and on alive.
Yeah. Anybody that you cancel, you can say cancel.
How many times do you want me to say the same
thing? But yeah, anybody that you take care of
on earth becomes your slave in hell. And it's
like, how come you haven't heard this before?
So I'm like, how come no one's telling you that?
Someone told you this? It was a YouTube video.
And he's like, I don't know. I was just kind
of like, yeah, I guess they probably wouldn't
tell me. And they might just try to compete against
each other. Yeah, that's probably what people
in the cartel think. They pray to the goddess
of death, whatever. and death or yeah, but the
aliens I feel like they seem the ones here do
seem like the pro -trial abduct people but not
like kill them and yeah, it's like the people
they're like some of the most famous accounts
they'll be like Just my main message is like
you shouldn't be scared of them. Well Yeah, but
that we keep like We've shot some down. So like
we like to like you're always trying to help
you stop this up pissing us off And they could
just like just completely destroy us at any time.
No, the craziest thing is that uh, you know,
like they'll talk about those Things that can
move like like nothing on earth like like no
technology Apparently like we had that at south
com It was like we didn't have like the radar
to be able to like see anything like that like
And then they got in like 2016 and then they
just saw every day like and different like all
across the coast. Well, there's a lot of speculation
that we we got that. America has the technology
and we got it. We have it down in Antarctica
and Southam and I think one of the large military
contractors reverse engineered. One of their
the alien things And we have that at land we
have we have basically well, you know Nikolai
You know Nikolai Tesla like he was able to like
Turn light bulbs out just by putting him in the
ground and he had a car that ran in the water
And then he got offed I Think or he died or just
he got He got written off by Thomas Edison I
think Elon was like bullshitting when he said
like I think he was trying like sometimes it's
like because he So he he has to keep stuff classified
if he knows about it Yeah, it's like it makes
sense that he wouldn't be able to reveal things
especially that you can't say that on Rogan He's
a military contractor if he has a top -level
clearance that's heavily classified I mean his
last appearance he was just like talking about
how he's like afraid for his life kind of or
just like thinks I can't go at like the corruption
across the board as you know, as much as I see
it, because it's like, there's just so many people.
But he was saying how why wouldn't they use the
technology to defeat SpaceX if they had it? It's
like when they were so against his company. Well,
it's good. It's not even we have it now. I don't
think that we have. I don't know. It doesn't
seem like anything like the humans like doesn't
seem like that. Well, maybe it's a reason that
so nobody attacks us. I think that our military
was already like, I think they know that we have
that don't want to fight. I think they know that
we have these this stuff that's like 50 years
ahead of development is very patriotic because
because because they say like that. Russia in
China have more like supersonic missiles than
we do, but they probably know about what we got
down at South come But it's like how come you
know people like it's a we have like an energy
so powerful that it could That it caused an earthquake
in in New Zealand We don't have stuff that can
just It doesn't it can just flow it and be anti
like anti gravity like we have stuff that can
just Do what like make earthquakes if we do it
by accident, but if we harness it correctly,
it's the only good energy It can make earthquakes.
I mean a lot of a lot of energy is false scarcity
We could probably all just be have energy Well,
I think that Thomas Edison created the false
scarcity where Nikolai Tesla was trying to Make
it like just make real inventions. And then Edison
was like, no, we got to charge for electricity
and say there's only a certain amount and make
the money to get the power, the power. So maybe
Elon, who he's going to unleash the energy. I
just think like good guy, bad guy. We don't know.
Probably maybe both. What if he's what if he
thinks he's a good guy by putting us all in the
neural link? Yeah, when he's talking about Neuralink
earlier, it's like, no, it's kind of like, he's
like, so yes, you can, and I've seen the videos
of like the guy in the wheelchair, like playing
chess, like with his mind. Really? Yeah, like
he has a chip and I don't, it's like - Wait,
was he like, the chess pieces would move on their
own? It's like, he can do it, like on the computer,
he can like move the mouse. Oh, okay. And he
like, he might be able to like, use a computer
faster than if he could like move his arms and
use his hands. I think that's a very limited,
they're showing us very limited amount of what
it can actually do. It's like the equivalent
of like Pong being like a video game. Yeah. Well,
I think what they're showing us about Neuralink
is a lot less than it actually does. Oh yeah.
I think that's why they don't talk about it that
much. It's so weird that it just... Okay, no,
but what do you mean you can just move you can
just tell you can just think and the computer
will do what you want Like how I mean if they
do a brain scan and you because there are certain
things and they connect to those rains are like
transponders I Don't know like so I think they've
you know, they don't know where memories are
in the brain Yeah, they don't know where memories.
Yeah, we don't know where the memories. We don't
just wanted a dumb voice. We actually don't Yeah,
we don't we don't have like a hard drive or anything
What I say when the scientists say when the brains
scientists say we don't know what the memories
are I say yeah Thanks for the memories. Thanks
for the memories. Yeah One more time. Thanks
for the memories My my chemical bromance, no
one of those guys those gay punk bands Boy meets
girl. I think it's for boy meets girl. Oh Fallout
girl. Mm -hmm fallout shelter fallen girl Fall
in fallen angels. Okay Nancy Pelosi fallen angel
And she's got some maybe some honkers. Yeah Yeah
Yeah, I've been hearing about this Okay, I don't
have my phone folks because that's one of the
cameras the crew you the crew uses our phones
the cameras But to the guy the crews working
super hard. We appreciate it. Yeah, so we kind
of make all the money off you guys Debbie in
Thank you throw your bone a verbal bone once
in a while and just say yeah join the patreon
folks at patreon .com slash bad comedy to help
the operation so we can actually pay these people
and make sure that this podcast bad comedy lasts
forever because yeah It's gonna last forever,
but Maybe I'll just stop and We gotta pay these
guys we're working on you know we want to we
we'd love to be able to do that so We'll see
what we can get but also even before that we
right if we had Neuralink Yeah, it's all about
it's not it's not all about you know It's more
about just supporting the podcast even if you
don't listen to it mission to support the podcast
by going to the Alex Jones store comm slash bad
comedy you can buy anything if you ever watch
Alex Jones Rogan is kind of how I think of it
you can buy coins there vitamins Oh, you get
the burdock root. The green roots. They have
Irish sea moss with the burdock root and the
burdock root. It sounds like a sick drink. You
get that burdock. That's what they have. It's
got all the good iodine for your skin and your
glands. I got a little bit too much iodine. Yeah,
that actually covered my skin and iodine. I don't
sweat anymore. I think maybe it made me a rough
dough. You got iodine poisoning. I eat too many
shrimp. So many shrimp. I used to eat way too
many shrimp and... You got iodine poisoning?
Yeah. What? I was listening to a lot of 3 -6
and I was just... You probably missed the part
where they talked about the iodine poisoning.
You probably heard the we eat so many shrimp
part. We barely ever got to go to Red Lobster
and I went a little crazy one night. Oh, really?
Wait. I thought you'd have to go to Red Shrimp.
That's why they have the shrimp. Maybe it was
Red Shrimp. Yeah. Yeah, that would make sense
because it was shrimp. Yeah. I like red crab.
I was such a big boned husky, big fat boy that
my parents kind of just let me eat how I needed
or wanted to. Yeah. And so they never thought
that maybe I would eat, out eat my limits. You
eat a burdock root? Yeah, I ate a whole family
of shrimp and what the heck no, I wasn't eating
burdock No nutritional value eating krill. I
actually did eat krill I Thought that it was
was it cooked I could barely even I was like
this is nothing. This is not filling Yeah, I
need the user Bailey and teeth to soak it in
I need to know that this thing died Yeah Or else
it's not a meal. Soup? Yeah. What the hell is
soup? Salad? Breadsticks? What the hell is soup?
No wonder they give it to you unlimited. It's
nothing. Yeah. Soup is a poverty thing to consume.
And no soup for you. People used to just put
a meat bone in water, and then it became soup.
Here, take this. Take this bone, yeah, this bone
water and eat it. No, thank you. Here's your
slop. Yeah. You want any more? Yeah. And if it
was like a good day, then they feed you stew,
but... Oh, God. That would be, yeah, some like
steak or something in there or beef. Yeah, beef
stew. Cabbage. That was a good song. Beef stew.
Beef stew or little. Green day ariana green day
ariana green day ariana green day She's dying
Poisoning she's getting fucked by Pete Davidson
Harley Dave Harley Pete Davidson I hope so cuz
he is he I think is oh Wait, no, someone removed
all their dads. I think it might have been him.
It was him. Maybe machine gun. I think there's
some kind of satanic Stuff going on with this
where they're removing their tattoos so that
they can go to hell well 57 removed us so he
could be on he did so much Yeah, like on his
arms did he actually remove them or did he get
some makeup on me? It's like he spent like a
year like removing them so that he doesn't have
to sit in Makeup for four hours. Why can't he
wear a long -sleeve shirt? Crazy it's a your
show Yeah. You need to wear a T -shirt in it.
Yeah. Like, I don't know. It's commitment. But
I also think, like, he wanted to be out. He wanted
to. He's like, no black people produce television
or just like, no one's doing this. Tyler Perry?
No. 50 Cent is like the Tyler Perry of TV. But
it's like, I just feel like it's like, he doesn't
seem like a good actor in the clips I've seen.
Tyler Perry is trans. So it's uh, he's actually
just a woman. Yeah Yeah Transition to a man.
Yeah, this transitions a lot Back and forth Michelle
Obama's podcast is pretty good. I got 2 ,000
views You know what? We're pretty competitive
actually to with Michelle Obama's podcast Really?
I guess the first like several days like a 2
,000 views before you just go to war with her
with that podcast Well, I guess three days later
at a quarter million views. I wonder if she's
astroturfing that at all Brad Kaufman again No,
that kind of jumped from two thousand in three
days and three days later it is a quarter million
That doesn't sound like Brad Kaufman ingator
at all Now, I don't think that they would do
something like that. No, and like, probably definitely
like when she put out her book, there was definitely
no money from NGOs that bought a bunch of copies
of her book. It's so weird. That's like they
it is there's no limit to how many bots you could
potentially like how like how many fake accounts
you could have to make something look and then
even just in comments, manipulate how people
read and. That's part of how politicians get
paid off is book deals and then they just buy
a bunch of copies of it. And it's just for like
a it's like a vanity metric. It's like a vanity
project. Yeah. Thank God. Yeah, that's a vanity
project. That's a terrible album cover name if
that was ever a comedy. No, that was sick. You
got to keep it real because you know, sometimes
these gangster guys like they'll be like real
respects real. Well, I can't. I can't. I came
up with a credit where credit's due. I respect
the game. I came up with the album, the album
name, the name, the name Vandy Project. I told
me she calls album that Bob Keenan sold. Yeah,
there's all me and I and I made the flyer. Well,
respect your own game then. Yeah. You're like,
that's whack now. No, it's a good name. Just
kind of like, that's my vibe. That's my beak.
No, and it's almost just something like that
having more meaning. Like, that's my beak. Peel.
Peel recognizes a lot of meaning. Peel recognizes
key. Yeah. Some people think they're like one
person. They're like, you know, his name's like
Key and Peel. No one knows which one's Peel.
Yeah. It's like to be Peel. they're both like
I'm peel talented but the movie one though guy
that makes the horror movies I don't know it's
like he's like the Stephen Haas yeah it's like
these cinema fanatics yeah how many I'm anti
cinematic how many black people do you think
think that key and peel is key and pill but like
they say peel because they're from like tenet
key Yeah, it's like Bernstein Bears. I'll be
popping P .U .s. I thought it was Key and Pill.
Yeah, that was Key and Pill. And Jury. Yeah.
Oh, man, I'm trying to get the swastika thing
to deal with Kanye. He's not even ever going
to see it, but he's making the swastika chain.
And I saw someone else actually put the same
thing, and people were like hyping it up. in
a comment. The same thing is yours? Yeah. And
I said, so, you know, I copyrighted this shit,
boy, because that's that business sense, boy.
Did you? Yeah. I told you to. Yeah, it was like
retarded. It was like, but looking back, it will
still be retarded. No. Did you show him it was
copyrighted? I told him and he didn't. He didn't
respond. You know, sometimes. People don't respond.
Yeah, it's like well. I think of it's just like
you know like beef like it's like I tweeted I
didn't respond to Kendrick. I tweeted I literally
voted for Elon Musk of the chain, so It doesn't
likes I was talking to this co -worker who it's
like she knew me before I even worked at Tesla
and was just Autistic Tesla fanboy mm -hmm, and
I was just like saying how it's like just funny
that someone like that, it's like, now people
are President Musk. And I'm like, that's why
she knew how big of a fan I was. That's always
the funniest thing when people say that it's
because it's like it divides, you know, it's
going to piss off Trump. Yeah, like a sit down
thing together, getting interviewed together
and which is like kind of funny, too. But then
it's they were talking about how He's like, they're
trying to take us apart. And Trump's like, he
told me that. And I'm like, oh, you're right.
He's like, the fake news used to be good at it.
It's not even good anymore. Yeah. I saw him kind
of just smile when the guy was like, they threw
everything that they had at you, all these places.
And he's like, yeah, I kind of escaped them.
Yeah. I don't know. It was like someone saying
all the hate that he deals with Trump. And it's
like. They were like amazed at like how he just
brushed it off and he was just like Like do I
like have an option even like yeah, I'm like
damn well for me I feel like I would probably
well the baskin like the first the first time
he did He engaged with it more Like I feel like
I would like use it to kind of unmotivate myself
and just kind of think me You know all these
people hating on me. I think it's probably true
what they're saying I thought it was pretty funny
when he was saying like I don't want it anyone
in my you know on my team that Is friends with
John Bolton or bird brain Nikki Haley? See it's
like it's we're getting back to being real yeah,
and you got to remember people are real Sometimes
yeah, sometimes people have bird brains like
Nikki Haley Yeah, and just like a common person
thinks bird brain is like funny and it's gonna
be an effective It is way to communicate. Yeah,
bird brains good brain already call someone nasty.
Yeah Yeah, I was just I was gonna come back and
say My car is so nasty It's in the zeitgeist.
Mm -hmm Trump impressions. Yeah Yeah, where's
his chart you should have his chart He probably
has a frame somewhere near the Oval Office. Man,
it's like we really need to do some decorating
in here, Mac. I get it. You have the bachelor
pad. This looks good. I know, but it's also just,
what if we maybe just put my swastika up there,
put the chart, could put Wall of Ops. Yeah, it's
kind of hard to put the Wall of Ops up here.
Let me get that let me get that Ken fluoride
picture It might be up there. We got it I think
that we should take him off the wall because
he died. Oh, he's on the wall well, I think that
we should just like post honestly Like kind of
award him by taking him off the wall of ops yeah,
but then we'll have to rebuild the wall ops yeah,
no, I mean you can definitely find people to
put up there, but The other day I was like trying
to rap and I was actually... He's the wall of
ons. What? Ops is ons? Ons. Ons can. Instead
of ops, instead of offs. Wall of offs. No, I
get it. I'm like, I know that you're doing like
the level five B making farther from... Right.
So what you got to understand is first you got
to, in your mind, to understand my joke, you
have to turn ops to offs and then you got to
do the opposite of it. Kind of funny like the
way that you spell ops Mm -hmm. I was like looking
it up to like I got to make sure I'm I think
I did it wrong. Yeah. Yeah, it's OPPs Yeah, but
it's like funny. It's you I think people should
people write it as both Yeah, and it's like who
cares but yeah It's almost like grammar is like
not like Jim great if you're badass, you don't
have to care about how you spelled some grammar
grammar Did that said it left victory? already
said all the N word a bunch of times. Oh yeah.
Grammar. Jim Grammar. Jim Grimace. Grimace. Grimace
when he went up there. It's like those. Yeah.
He was spewing K words and. Grimace. Yeah, I'm
just, I'm thinking the wall of ops is just like
that'd be like a department in a. Like a business.
It's like these are our operations team. Yeah,
we've got Michael Cooper on Payroll is you know
making very much at all and just what we did
instead of having a wall of Opposition now. We
just have a crew of Operations here. Yeah working
working super hard. We appreciate you guys never
hardly working It's like a sweatshop, basically,
how hard these guys work. I joke about it. Yeah,
we call them the Hardy Boys, because they work
so hard. But I mean, there's also girls there,
but they don't care. We call them boys, because
they're not social justice warriors. No, it's
like Elon, President Musk's team of Hardy Boys,
looking through everyone's social security numbers.
Yeah, big balls and huge ass. All those guys.
Would this be a good roast joke? I was thinking
like, what if I was like, uh, Mac, uh, looks
like a butt or something like ass looking. Yeah.
You look like a bug with a bird brain. Nice.
You click a bird with a bug brain is just going
to be my second joke. Oh, it's like, uh, like,
you look like a burr. Remember in... He's like,
this guy had... I saw him. You show pictures
of, like, his nest, Ryan's nest. Mm -hmm. You
remember in Lion King when they were eating those
bugs? Uh -huh. Like, they were, like, Pumbaa
and Tumama, and they were eating all those bugs,
and the bugs looked good. Yeah. Like, you know
that Klaus Schwab made that? He made that movie
so people said people don't want to eat the bugs.
It's psi -op No wonder we love it. Mm -hmm. That's
how I became a sleeper cell Yeah, you sleeper
cell anemia, but I just eat bugs. Yeah The thing
is I run so fast that kind of bugs just fly in
my mouth. It's kind of like a car windshield
It's like krill kind of with a whale, but it's
just bugs in the air So I get on my protein for
when I go and runs Sometimes sunglasses yeah,
yeah I do I put on little windshield wipers my
sunglasses when I have to go running I Saw some
sunglasses you could like rotate the lens and
it will get darker or lighter Wait the ones that
automatically do that. No, I hate those those
are the lamest shit transition lenses That's
the lamest thing you could ever wear anyone that
wore those would get roast get flame. Oh my gosh
get heated Like they walk in and they walk inside
cooked. Yeah, they look stupid And then they
clears up and it's like you don't control you.
Yeah, you are cooked. Oh my gosh Yeah for walking
just begging to get their ass kicked Yeah, they
can't go back to their parents to be like actually
create the normal ones. It's like no these are
prescription sunglasses, their glasses are expensive.
He has to keep those. Just going through a phase
or something. I don't know. It's hormones. I
think that's the first thing. First you like
transition lenses and then you transition to
become a woman or a man. It's a gateway. Well,
it gives you, I think that what they do is it
kind of gives you transition lenses. So it makes
you have, gives you the lens of someone who wants
to transition. Yeah. It's like it'll change when
you're looking at girls or yeah like you like
you look down and you don't see a wiener you
see it goes dark you see a fancy you see a veg
i don't want to say the p word oh you try staring
at the sun yeah i always i always look at the
sun yeah and it doesn't even hurt my eyes sorry
i like stargazing Yeah, people are so dumb that
look at the sun. I'm like, well, actually, I
just have really good eyes, and I can see the
flares on the sun. It's called immunity antibodies.
Yeah, it's called having really good eyes. Yeah,
it's like, I don't know, sometimes... They're
like, well, that'll hurt your eyes. I'm like,
well, it hasn't. I saw the vision of a hawk.
Of a peregrine falcon. A lot of people call me
that. What do you think Galileo was doing? Yeah.
You think he was... looking at Pluto yeah Pluto
got cooked Galileo Pluto got like Pluto treated
like a Some guy you you're a girl. You don't
care about them Everyone loved the planets did
it you know and then Pluto with the Pluto others
Cooked you're not a planet, but then it's like
no wait. I want you back Yeah, and then you're
planning again. I love you. Yeah, that's no actually
oh, yeah, none of these academics got Pissed
about when Pluto got doge. Well, they hate doge
No hates doge who do doji the rapper do Doja
cat doji. Yeah, dochi cat Can't be straight man.
Mm -hmm Neither can you babe? Yeah, I'll be a
little big if you meet, you know How come she
makes fun of her her man's in the song you see
that there was a book That was talking about
a guy named Elon that was gonna take us to Mars.
Yeah It's for sure time It's like how many books
are out there how many books out there talking
about Mars There's also one about Trump and then
Baron Trump Berenstein knows Berenstein as Baron
Trump or Berenstein Is it like the Baron Trump
Bears? Like the... Is it the Baron Trump Bears
or the Baron Trump Bears? The Barons. I didn't
know it was the Barons. The Barons. Like the
Barons. I thought it was the Bears. That was
the Barons. The Barons. The Barons, yeah. My
whole life I'd be quoting like the Bears and
people would look at me like... Oh, that's the
Nelson Mandela effect. Yeah. Got cooked. I guess
Thanks, Lauren. Yeah That barons. I was a little
bit sketch We live from New York. I look like
a dumbass right now the and the barons are short
for the Berenstein Bears It's just it's all he
trace it back. It's all money. Yeah, it's all
Hollywood We appreciate it guys appreciate your
hard work. Yeah Gavin Newsome burned down the
all the tinsel town, which is not cool Let's
research the Library of Congress for any books
about a guy named Gavin Newsom. Yeah. Destroying
the Earth. Right. Well, you just got Patrick
Bateman. Yeah. It's the same guy. That's so funny
when he got made fun of for like moving all weird.
Like, we might do this. We might buy Hawaii.
Yeah. He's just like... I gotta watch that video
again. Yeah. That's a guy from Patrick B. David's
podcast. Didn't he? It's just like... He's like,
if we're gonna... Yeah All the hand gestures
and he does that on his I watched the episode
of him and Charlie Kirk out of his podcast His
podcast pretend that he's moderate now He's like
no, this is just authentic media. I've always
been like this, you know, it's like He talks
to Steve Bannon. It's like I Want to see clips
from the Bannon one Bannon must have cooked him
on some stuff, but he's really Good at being
a snake It's just crazy because it's like being
good at being a snake. It's like, you know, like
most people know Yeah, you're a snake. He's like
a demon. Yeah It's like but it's not a tricking
anyone. Yeah, like You just like dumb person
drunk person. Well, the movie American Psycho
is based on Gavin Newsom played by Christian
Bale now, yeah, and so That's another Mandela
effect. Yeah. So it's it's not. It was actually
played by Gavin Newsom and it's about Gavin Newsom.
I was putting some lotion on my skin today and
I was thinking Buffalo. Is it Buffalo Bills or
Buffalo Bobs? I think it's. The lotion on the
skin guy. He's Bob's. And I just think I'm becoming
more like this guy and I don't like it. I had
a whole thing where I was in, I got stuck in
a well. It was a while back. It was a little
while back. I got stuck in a well and then there
was this weird guy lowering down a bucket to
me of lotion. He said he puts the lotion on his
skin or else he gets the hose again. And I was
like, I love hose. I didn't even put on any lotion.
I was ashier than the first time I was in 9 -11.
It's a trap. Yeah. 11 turns out it wasn't a hose
these hose beats hose me down with a water hose
Okay, I see what he meant now. Oh, I like water
hose. Well, you're talking about mermaids. Yeah,
it's water hose with them sirens Yeah, and on
that note folks. I Think we're there Patreon
.com slash bad comedy is where the real shit
goes down, folks. We have we had a representative
from Adidas on the podcast for the guest episode.
So you're going to like that one to hear more.
Just make sure to hit like and subscribe. Smash
that like button. Yeah, and just smash that cash
app. Yeah. What's it called? What's the other
one? PayPal, PayPal. Smash that. What's it called?
PayPal Mafia. Subscribe buttons multiple X's
You can bless me at a comedy baddie hit the like
button don't hit the down the dislike button
No, yeah. Yeah, I shouldn't even brought that
into sight guys. No, but maybe hit that on everything
else Right, it was like when other stuff pops
up in your algorithm hit down and for us hit
up and subscribe because folks Even if you're
subscribed, we might not be in your algorithm
because they don't like us Yeah, and like Al
Gore does he have rhythm? No, no none and he
invented the internet So it's like where did
the internet just come from too? Okay Al Gore
has the internet. Yeah The guy who was like,
yeah, we're all gonna die in five years from
carbon like Bill Clinton's favorite. Yeah, pretty
sure it's been five years Wow. The allegorical
sense that you were saying that. That is fucked.
Yeah. Stuff that's like, you believed it, and
then now with everything else unraveling, you're
like, no, there's a huge, that is. Right. That
human -made climate change just isn't real. Yeah.
I feel like Dave Chappelle right now. This is
my extent of, like, just my mic. It's like I'm,
it's like I'm, it's like a sex. object. It's
like a sometimes joke. They go. Yeah, I actually
said this huge Ken Flores fan this that video
where like what? Yeah, we're talking about being
in Boystown selling blow and then sucking a dick
fool or some power can fluoride dog. I was soaking
that day. I love that video. Rest in power Ken
fluoride. This is our rest in power video. Oh,
Dale died, by the way, guys. Oh, yeah. No, not.
Not. You believed it. Yeah, you fell for it.
If you saw my story where I said rest in peace,
if you waited a couple more seconds, you would
have seen them right next to me. Yeah. So if
you know, it's sometimes it's you send something
and people watch it or they don't or they just
think they don't. Watch the end of the video.
They're really mad in the back of their head
because I gave them a heart attack. Maybe don't
jump to conclusions. It's called a setup. Maybe
your brother will text you and say, like, did
they really pass? Yeah, maybe you reach out to
a cousin. Did you know it was a Baron Trump bears?
The Barons. I'm like, how long? The Baron. How
many times have I said that and looked just dumb?
So dumb. Follow me at Bad Boy Comedy. And at
bad comedy podcast on all the platforms if you're
listening audio Like and subscribe also then
go to YouTube and like and subscribe you can
even get some if you know some bots so Or some
a eyes put them all together or something have
them mass ghost watch our videos for us. So we
get more reach and Reach it's like I feel like
we're kind of boxing. We're dodging and weaving
but we're also Muhammad Ali were like a butterfly
sting like a bee. We have bees. We like bees
But we're not be heads. Well, I'm a bee head.
I Love bees. I have bees in my head. So yeah,
call me a bee head. Thank you My brains a beehive
son of transmitter. We have a lot of bees. We
have the best bees. That's bees Said bees bees
bees in my head bees in my head. I like the Oregon
State bees. Where do they find you? I'll be at
Oregon State trying to get some beaver. I love
saying beaver. Yeah, no one says that. Yeah,
it's mold. I'm the only person that says beaver.
Trump says it in the locker room. Not even Trump.
No, when he's in locker room talk, he does. You
think so? We talk with the boys. Yeah. And there's
not a hot mic that they leaked. I don't know.
I want to hear the. whole clip and see kind of
what kind of context was that taken out of. Yeah.
Right. All he said was great. You grab him by
the beaver. It's like, how come we got that?
But not the Epstein file. Yeah. Not the shape
shifting stuff. No, it's like none of the like
the crimes Biden did. It's interesting. It's
I don't know. It's just like everything was signed
by auto pen. It's kind of weird. There's a mad
libs. We have mad Republicans mad about now.
It's mostly libs that are mad. Yeah honest, but
you got to admit that these red pill guys They're
just so mad about there's no Epstein files released.
Oh, yeah. Shut up. Just wait Also, it's not like
cash Patel wants to hide that no if you're a
If you're the attorney general and you want to
build a case you need that especially if they're
against politicians or high -up people They have
really good lawyers. So you have to have an airtight
case So before you release any of that you want
to make sure you have cases on everyone that's
involved I'm worried about how they're gonna
release it if they have it. It seems like Trump
said said recently they do Actually have it and
it's gonna Because I don't trust Pam bondi's
timeline Do you? It's almost like Pam bondage
when she's wearing all leather. Oh, yeah. From
the office. Yeah, it seems like if you yeah,
if you fuck up, like it's easy to fuck up a legal
thing to where it's like a mistrial or just like
100 percent. You get evidence thrown out on accident
that just ruins the case. And you're like, yeah,
you got me right here. But then if you if they
don't fuck it up, then you're in the other situation
like you got me. If you're a librarian of Congress,
are you in Congress? If you're a librarian at
the Library of Congress? Sometimes me and Mac,
we skip recess. I'm a librarian at Congress?
Yeah. We do a lot of language arts. We are really
artistic with our language. Mad boys, fuck math.
Yeah, fuck math. We do recess. Maybe science
classes. We're running science class. Yeah, electricity.
We're doing drugs. Oh, yeah. You know the little,
it's a boarded area by the school. Yeah, yeah.
You go out there. There's a bunch of burners.
Lucy Kay has a story about stealing a bunch of
like... Is it the Bunsen burner bears or the
Bernsen burner bears? I think it was like the
Baron Trump burners. Alright. Folks, I'll be
live, yes, join the Patreon. Alright. Just like
cool that stay positive episodes. Oh, sorry.
Sorry the patreon. Oh Yeah, we're so the patreon
there load that thing first Hey everybody. Oh
Jesus dude, that's awesome