Hey folks, welcome to the bad comedy podcast. My name is Mac and I am the original bad boy
comedy threats to democracy and your least favorite comics least favorite comic as always
I'm with Frankenstein. I love electricity. I'm afraid of fire. Let's get into it. Hell
yeah, let's get into it. Let's get into it. So a lot going on, you know, including I
can't find my sunglasses. Oh no. Oh, thank God. I felt like I felt like when you're
not wearing sunglasses. Oh, these are the bad ones. I feel visible when I'm wearing what
I'm wearing. I feel I get anxiety or what I'm not wearing. I'm I feel anxiety. I'm like
that people are watching this and people are going to see this on the internet. You know,
yeah, but I have to look at myself when I'm wearing them. I'm mirror and I have to look
into my soul and think about the things I'm saying. But when I put them on, I'm kind of
invisible and right have no more morals. It's kind of like when you take them off at the
end of the whole podcast session, it's like bad post not clarity. Yeah, it's horrible.
Yeah, like back to the real world. Like, yeah, it was over. Right. Pressure. This said anything
I said that will podcast, but immortalized on the internet. Yeah, I mean, the movie Big
Daddy. I mean, that's based on a true story. If you put on sunglasses, you're invisible.
You know,
I know play kangaroo song.
Play kangaroos. That's why people people don't know this, but I'm kind of a I know
a lot about the law, the letter of the law. And so I know a lot about court proceedings.
But people need what you should do if you're on the witness stand. Always wear sunglasses.
For confidence. Yeah, you always people can't see you always win. Yeah, I think it's funny
that you watch the news more than everyone else. I know combined. I know everything.
Yeah. See Spain. Yeah, I like, no, I like MSNBC. I like Joy Reid. The ball black lady.
I like her dude. Everyone's shitting on Hillary Clinton. Okay. And I'm like, she's a she's
a bad bitch. I mean, she's not very she's not very brat. But she's like, she's a super
villain. That's awesome. Oh, yeah, she could be like she could be shoddy. Yeah. I mean,
she's like, evil. It's it's she's super evil and that rules. It's like, it's not good to
be evil. It's opposite of it. But sometimes you got to respect it. I root for the villains
in most movies. Am I attracted to a female super villain? If her name is Hillary? Yeah.
Hillary equals hot. I voted for Tim Waltz though, because I want the government to be
funny again. And I understand under that if Kamala if she won, I mean, there'd be a bunch
of censorship, but we get to watch Tim Waltz dance, dance around. Easy Biden kind of hanging
out in the background falling down. It's funny. It's like even if people on their own, they
couldn't carry the show. But these people combined all the cast of characters. Yeah,
you get Hunter Biden, smoking crack, actually running the show. Oh, here's the good song
glasses. Oh, nice. Oh, he's exposed 90. Oh, these are the rose color glasses. I'm happy
folks. When you take them off the world turns dark. Yeah, these are the ones that that when
you air for a long time and take them off you under a deep depression. But Vladimir
is linsky smart. Yeah, I think tough. I think tall body language was kind of on display.
Hands folded between his legs. Yeah, the two main body languages he was doing was hands
like this legs and the other one is this. But yeah, that someone walking through the
halls that doesn't want to get shoved in a lot. Yeah, anyone that does any basic thing
about about nonverbals is if you want to be in an open dialogue. No, yeah, you can't.
You don't do that. That that shows whether it's conscious or unconscious in the mind
of the viewer. It's it shows it like you don't really care or you're kind of blocking out
or not listening to what they're saying. But then if you're doing that, then I'm going
to do that to mirror technique. Yeah, so that we build a connection and kind of feel on
the same wavelength. So that's true. Or it's a double block and neither you talk. It's
like when it's like in Rock, Paper, Scissors and you both do rock. I like that. You just
stare at each other. But Trump always does. Trump does scissors and JD does rock and then
he does. Let's use paper and they just beat his ass with it.
Yeah, I love it, dude. That's a good tag team. Those two Trump advance. I wonder if they're
always on the same page. It seems like they are. I feel like Trump is like he's happy
to let anyone else like try to try to like give him a break. Well, he so he can always
step in Trump 2.0. So I like just like with Gucci main, I like Gucci main 1.0 before prison
when he was fat and more than Gucci 2.0. You like the old trumpet Trump is flip. I love
Trump 2.0 because he has less straight up ego. I don't think he gets I think he lets
other people around him do more without getting upset about it. It's kind of like when he's
the hate when people would like he would hate when people would overshadow him. But he understands
that it's good to have a strong vice president next to you who's able to translate your Trump
language into lawyer sounding language. Absolutely. So basically, Trump says the right stuff.
And then he says it is hilarious, bombastic ways. And then JD translates it. This says
the same exact thing, but just in a more concise way. And then you can have people interpret
it in the media or conversations, however they want. But I remember watching when Trump
was sitting down for the first time with Obama, you know, in the same situation in the office
and Trump's body language wasn't wasn't there wasn't confident. I think it was kind of well,
he just got the first time he went in. He never done politics. You just look kind of
like you're the president. Almost sorry in a way. But then it's also like crazy. Well,
it's just like was a linsky he was just an actor and then the New World Order selected
him to be a puppet. So what does that tell you guys get into show business? develop
some chops. Yeah, and then you can become a puppet to. But the thing is, he had the
backing of the deep state. So they taught him the stuff to do the right stuff to say.
Trump didn't have that they were all against them. But I still have this offer I've been
pleading to the CIA, but I think they don't have the money to do it now because USA ID
and all this money that was spent for propaganda against us, our tax money paying to get us
like to Reuters and Politico. I want them to join our like the less money sponsor us
deep state we will say whatever you want. Give me a script. I'll memorize it. I'll get
a teleprompter behind Dylan. Yeah, it is just kind of like the dollar amount that we need
to just kind of just keep the spin the hamster wheel a little bit to do mockingbird media
faster. Yeah. I mean, first of all, folks, if you don't want us to become a CIA cutout
for talking, just giving every talk will basically become CNN if we get bought out by the CIA.
Or no, we come like Rachel Maddow pretty much. But if you go to patreon.com slash bad comedy,
you get two day early access to these practice shitty episodes. And then so these free episodes
are just bullshit. But the real funny episodes with famous standup comedian guests are behind
the patreon paywall at patreon.com slash bad comedy. While we're on this real quick,
I'd like to talk about our amazing sponsor Jepsen's Malort. It's good. I got a whole
glass right here. And I gotta say, never had never never had anything better.
Yeah, like how you put the sticker on there. It's nice. I imagine that came like this custom.
Oh, yeah. Like stickers. Yeah. I'm gonna be more stickers. If anyone wants to send me
any, let me know. I got some stickers. I got some brains, but I'll talk about that behind
the paywall. But the stickers behind the bad bad comedy thing back there. They can't see
it on screen. But you know, stickers or fire. Yeah, they're pretty sticky. I don't like when
people put stickers use them like graffiti. Yeah, no, it's not cool. It's all sticky.
How about we get this city cleaned up? You know, no, no more stickers. No more Mr. Nice
guy. We're getting the city cleaned up. You know, we're gonna rip all the stickers off.
Does this sound cool if I say I'm Mr. Ice guy. So that's about my chains. I'm Mr. Ice.
Oh, this I'm Mr. Ice guy. And then it's like the gong, gong, gong, gong, gong. I was going
to the web market and I got a COVID because I ate a bad and it was pretty good. Yeah,
we've been not working on any dialects or I've been working on some viruses. Oh, nice.
It's pretty hard to bake one. I only have like one beaker. But you're trying to like
work on yeah, vaccines. Yeah. So Fauci, if you want to pay us, we'll make we'll do it.
Almost responded to something who's on our wall of ops today, Bob Keen. Yeah, they can't
see him very well. But today we are featuring Bob Keen. This one is some of these are for
sale. This is a original art of one. He's a nemesis of the podcast. And it's beautiful.
Not for sale, of course. But we do have a picture of MC lights here, DJ Darksy, who
I kicked out of the comedy scene. And that one's for sale for $30,000. So we're probably
going to make the podcast like 100 bucks. We are I've been saying at the past few weeks.
Well, you were so folks Dylan was on vacation, not vacation, though. That's what I said.
He was fighting for freedom. Fighting for freedom. You want to tell us what you were
doing? No, I'm actually, I would love to tell you, but it's classified and really excited
to tell him. Okay, that's fine. We'll talk about behind the payroll at patreon.com slash
bed comedy. But Dylan's been out on a mission. And yeah, that's really all we can say. But
well, he was fighting for good. Yeah, and freedom fighting the good fight, fighting
the good fight. That's what we can say. Yeah. Speaking of that's what we can say. I don't
know. I can say what you say. No, I kill a bunch of people. You can't say that word.
No, you you paled a bunch of people. I pill I pillaged people say on the live on YouTube.
Say, say, pill pill it easy or cancel a bunch of people. I took took care of some people
to get you like that. Because it sounds like a yeah, it's a mob. There's mob type of thing.
Yeah, I took I took care of Vinnie. Don't worry. Don't worry. I took off and then Fauci's
like, Don't worry. I got made a new one. I saw this mobster thing. It was like if you're
trying to signal to the table, not to talk in front of someone, then you pour their wine,
pour the wine like this for everybody. But then the last person you don't want them to
you. It's a tip to show like everyone else don't say shit in front of this guy. I don't
trust this guy. A lot of who I like that you got to be watching this body language. It's
kind of like baseball. So like a lot of unwritten rules or yeah, it's kind of cool.
I like baseball. That's like just cheating whoever is the best at cheating and concealing
it. Yeah, wins. Think about being sheen. You try. That's why that show cheaters just call
them winners or triers. Yeah. I had a great idea that left my mind immediately like it
always does. We were talking about inside baseball and Italians wine.
Dying you can watch Money Ball is a good movie.
It's something. Yeah. Money Ball. I saw that. Bobby Buds was the coach right?
Mm hmm. I like when Kanye said Jonah Hill made him like Jews again.
Yeah. Kanye is the best at getting attention out of anybody. That's why you got to always
bring it in life because you're representing more than just yourself. You're representing
well he's yeah he's representing you know line. He's representing white supremacy.
I'm talking about you. I was talking about Kanye not us. Yeah, YouTube. Okay. Plus YouTube.
You should be going in the path of like Zuckerberg even though I don't think he is and stop censoring
things. I'm really excited about my new swastika design.
I know that I made free. He did. Yeah. It's pretty good. But don't worry.
It's it's not the symbol. Yeah. It's it's looks like it but it says yeah.
Yeah. It's not like hooray but like yeah at the end of Kanye. Yeah.
I never for a while when I listened to Kanye and Jay-Z. I don't know what Hove meant. I
didn't know what yeah meant. I was like why is it because like yeah.
Yo like cocaine. Tony yeah. Yeah. I like for yeah.
Walk around with you. You know that song. Yeah. I love that song.
I was hanging out on Friday night. It's Frank and Mary's. There's like no one there.
I remember making my own up for a little bit but I ended up just hanging out with this black
guy told him my whole life story about being a BD.
But Scottie let a girl on fire. You know you're talking about the chance to
rap perfect. Oh no. But I told him everything that he
didn't even care about. I just told him it all because he was black and you know just
listening. Yeah. It's really he actually he actually
did carry. He actually thought it was kind of wild.
It's like this guy like forest gump. Yeah. I'm really forest pump a pump a cap in your
ass. A little pump. A little pump. Whatever happened a little pump.
What was his big song. Stayed a little. Can you move that way.
Yeah. Perfect. He did. He would have maybe he's just
pumped now. Pump. I like that. You should go by a pump.
And then and then he will come out with some new sneakers with the pumps.
There'll be really little like tiny little pumps. Yeah.
Oh you got. What are those little pumps. These are my little
pumps. I got these little pumps. Oh these little things.
Is it offensive to where Air Force One's because Trump flies on Air Force One.
It's cooler now. Yeah. It's cool. I think it's actually a sedition
if you don't if you hate the president right because he's the president.
You can hate him when he's gotten the campaign trail but but if you hate the
president you're either any sedition or your treasonous
and so you have to like him. Sorry. That's the rules.
I didn't make them. I was I was looking up the
president mosque. That was the funniest thing that nobody fell for.
My mom said it to me once because my mom was uh
she's a exact mockingbird of every talking point of CNN.
She was like yeah president mosque. I was like that's literally the dumbest
talking point ever. Like no one no like no one's falling for that.
It's literally just a thing that old Trump might fall for. New Trump doesn't
fall for that. That's funny for me to be like a
a mosque head for years and then it's like oh cool like nice
insult. How mad is Jason? Because he Jason has been the opposite. Jason's
always hated Elon even prior to him coming into this and obviously Jason
didn't like Trump. The the troll of that is so
epic. Like all of Elon's haters have to hate. That's really karma against Jason
for quitting the podcast. No Elon's the president because of it.
Yeah is amazing. I actually had a I think I had a
conversation at the Super Bowl. I think I had a conversation with Jason about
AI and and then Elon and he was he got viscerally angry. He's got
Elon derangement. Oh no that sounds even worse. It's almost
like a mind virus. It's so funny how the news just switches from
like they just switched to Elon from Trump for a while
and then Trump was just in the background signing all these executive orders.
Like to remove all black people.
Yeah that's not the executive order he did but Trump was just basically able to
get shit done and then everyone was like Elon stealing our social security
numbers to buy to buy apple bottom jeans and boots of the fur on Amazon.
I think that guy wants your identity. Yeah yeah if he if Elon must took most
of your identities he would go broke probably because all the day you
people have. But like that is the dumbest argument
of all time because the people that can see this information
is our IRS agents like like like shitty IRS agents.
Anyone that works for social security or the IRS
they're who are more prone to corruption because they don't have
money like Elon does. If you have a lot of money you're a lot less likely to
like be swayed by money to do something. I hope that's just in taxes.
I mean Howard Lutnik is heavily talking about that.
He's a commerce secretary. Like let's just not do taxes like this
year. Yeah I want no I want no property taxes.
That wouldn't help you as much. Actually it could lower it could lower rents.
Oh that would be cool. Yeah because the landlords would not pay property tax
and then just across the market because you know that
landlords got to compete against other landlords. Yeah so in the end it would
make it cheaper to rent as well. Well I like paying a lot for rent.
And then letting it just basically lighting that money on fire essentially.
Yeah yeah because I don't I like having no money
because then I have no evil. That's right. Yeah and no problems
because I know I've been working on a lot of new
sayings. Like because if you know if you have no
money you have no problems. I've came up with the thing.
The more money we come across the more problems we see.
Okay. You know. Yeah. I don't know.
Be careful with that because I don't know what you want from me.
It's like you know the more money we come across the more problems we see.
Yeah you know you might be a martyr for
for cause you gotta pick your battles. You want to take on
Tupac who's setting his little boys to come take care of you.
Now he's gonna diss you on his own song the whole time. He's gonna let us go.
Yeah. But you want Trump who's gonna let
a little baby Vance come in. Yeah I like Vance.
Get your ass. Yeah. I love when he lets Vance off the
chain. It's like Pokemon or something. It's like
you want. Yeah. Imagine Pence doing that. Mike Pencil.
Some people just Pence like. Pence is such a. I think I think Pence is a
legitimate was a robot. I feel like I never heard him
talk like I have no idea what his personality is. I mean in the past you have a lot of
vice presidents that don't really do anything. Yeah. Like
like Harris like Kamala.
She actually she did a great job because her her job was to go to like
Venezuela and stuff and go to the root of immigration to make sure it stops.
But then you just get alarmed by all these Venezuelans. Yeah and it turns out
she's like oh it's actually fly your all your people in that so I think she
knew about her. I think she's a little bit she's
kind of forgot her mission a little bit. Gotta stay with God's plan. Right. So
she's like I was never the borders are and it's like
OK. So you but you were the Venezuela Colombia Salvador the more dangerous
parts are setting them in here. Why don't you like hadn't been to the border
and reminding me of when Solinsky was like have you ever been to Ukraine like
known that Vance hadn't been to Ukraine. Yeah it doesn't matter.
He was like I've been to. You try to think of what to say.
But he's seen the stories of him bringing people around. He definitely
does bring he definitely just brings people to Kiev or like
their propaganda tours. I don't just be like I don't want to go to your
country. Right. Also he's also he's only been in office for
so much time and as a vice president you don't really want to be in a war zone.
I just think also he has a brah. Also the president and the vice president are
briefed on everything that's going on except for aliens. They know exactly.
Dude I'm worried about aliens. I heard. They're definitely real.
I heard that we have like 20 million illegal aliens in the U.S.
No no no no no no no. I'm scared of aliens. I had no idea that UFOs are
landing and dropping some people off. Aliens off.
They're like take me to your leader homes. Dude I had no ideas that aliens are
already invaded. They're taking their jobs and what the
yeah they're probing us. I don't see them around but I guess there's
I just saw in the news there's 20 million aliens here. I think you just don't even
see them. I was like what? Yeah. Do they have big
green heads? What do they look like? They have big eyes.
Big eyes. Real big eyes. They probably look kind of like
a dead cat. Kind of like no muscle. I was talking about sexual.
Yeah they're probably a child like size. Their dicks are probably their
finger their index finger like a scary movie. A certain of sexuality.
A scary movie three either they pee out of their fingers.
Oh okay. Yeah. While there's no bathrooms on the
spacecraft that we've recovered. Yeah it's so funny that
Biden just left some guys in space. Do you hear about this?
Like I barely heard about it. They were supposed to be there for like a week and
they've been up there for eight months. Jesus.
And it was it was they didn't get picked up for political reasons
because Biden wouldn't authorize it. So SpaceX has the only
the space X is the only rescue ship that can that is they can do that
because they're a they're a big contractor you know and
Biden wouldn't let him do it during the until until he was out of office.
Like he thinks that that's a better look. Yeah they should have talked about that
more. Oh my god. It's insane. So they've been
there for like eight months. Everyone can resonate with that. They've been there for
like seven months. Isn't that insane. It's so funny.
There's like why are we still here.
How fast does Trump say like go go get him. He's like okay boss.
Yeah yeah president Elon. No see what I say is yeah that whoever can do that
like kind of should be the president. Yeah if so it's a one if anyone thinks I'm
like a Trump or or something like that. No I just like whoever the president is
okay. I didn't like the last administration
because I didn't know who the president was. I like I like old by I missed the old
by I do. Old Biden was hilarious. He was he
didn't steal my bit of falling all the time. The old old by the the young by I
missed the young by the racist one. Yeah the one that
called black people super predators. Yeah and he would like
but actually actually Trump separate buses. Actually Trump's the racist one though
the whole time that's the news says. That's what I heard is that he's like a
white supremacist. Yeah there's no proof but
I think that's the case. Yeah Trump's super racist
but there's no no evidence but I'm sure pretty sure it's true.
I wonder if that's what I like to go off of is what's up what people say with no
evidence. Well at least he doesn't change his voice to each
group of people he's talking to. Right. I feel like that was a just
straight up offensive what what Haricou Kamala Harris was doing.
I love seeing different people's impressions of it. Yeah it's amazing.
That's true. That would be mine. We were doing that first you know
but you're kind of and then Elon steals our look.
Elon give it back and then Max Orich stealing our look
and then okay on top of that on top of that Elon had to chainsaw
we have a gun okay. Terminator. I know why he had the chainsaw it's because
Malay gave it to him as part of the the Argentina guy who
wanted to cut regulations so he was campaigning with the chainsaw.
He gave that to Elon as a gift but still Elon. Like that the sink.
Elon we let that sink in and then the chainsaw. We do have a patron that joined
up with the name it was at Musk E Doge it said.
I don't know who that is so but I don't know who knows.
Yeah musky musky maybe from maybe someone maybe someone from Muskegon
I guess the dog probably but yeah a lot of people are stealing our swag.
Yeah I can't blame them. I don't know if the sunglasses once you try them
you go dark mode you don't go back. Right it's like
once you go black once you go once you go black you never go back
but that's where the sunglasses yeah once you get the
dark shades I mean once you go back you just get depressed. Once you get blacked
you don't go back from that. Uh-huh so never the same.
Actually maybe I'll save this note I have for the
I have some notes today guys this is like a first.
Okay so when I was at Frank's there was these two other guys that were there
and then they're like talking about Star Trek and I said I've
never seen Star Trek and they're like you've never seen Star Trek?
And I was like no I'm not a fucking nerd and
yeah who the fuck watches Star Trek. I watch Star Wars
because yeah I'm not going on treks I I war. What is it good for?
What is it good for? Absolutely everything. Yeah it's whatever you want.
Yeah what is it bad for is when we send money and it goes into a bottomless pit
in Ukraine. What it's good for is getting Greenland
killing the cartels you know. Yeah I think cartels are kind of cool though
I would probably keep anything that's cool if I was president. War is cool.
Yeah the cartels are cool. Drugs would get more expensive
unfortunately. Luigi is cool I would pardon Luigi.
No no. Yeah I would pardon Luigi. He's a symbol of
people in uprising. You have to pardon Luigi.
It's funny because the biggest change in wealth and equality was
really during Biden era of COVID you know kind of weird
that that's what happened. Yeah well that's why when Bob was saying
like there's no Molotov cocktails going around when people
try to protest but not buying stuff on Amazon for one. Oh I saw that on Friday.
Yeah I bought I made a huge order on Amazon I got McDonald's.
What else was it Walmart? Because you're going to stand out as a customer that
didn't build your relationship with. I can promise you a bunch of those
people went to McDonald's that day even the people that like they forgot.
Or just bought like stuff. Yeah that was that was L Sharpton that was saying
to do that who's a fake or ever and he's gets paid money. You got you got paid a
bunch of money from Kamala to. But it's like that stuff doesn't work
like the Luigi stuff that could work. But Luigi people are afraid for their life.
He's a rich kid. So it's it I don't we don't even know
his motive. We also don't know anything about the first assassination attempt.
Take away from Luigi. We also don't know anything about the first
assassination attempt. And assassination attempts are good for the
in like it's good for the king to feel threatened by the people or else they'll
just be a. Well but he needs he want I'm sure I
wonder if he knows. CEO should be afraid. Well I want to see
no that's not the way to go because then CEOs will just get a bunch of security.
That gets passed down to the there's no safety.
Huh. If you piss. But also killing a CEO does nothing because sorry cancelling
a CEO does nothing because they just get a CEO. No it's like a couple days later
than they changed their decision of like some they weren't going to cover like
something crazy and then they flipped it right after. And it was like oh because
this CEO doesn't want to get murdered. I think it was I think they did something
like that but then changed it back or something.
So it was something that looks like they didn't or they did it in reaction to
that and that is kind of like change it back quietly.
I don't know I'll investigate but I just think or else the people are hopeless.
I think Pelosi was involved. I was walking behind a guy.
Pelosi was friends. I was saying something. Well I said I think Pelosi was involved first.
Oh no but then you stopped talking and then. No I was going to continue.
But then you had continued. No I was saying I think Pelosi was involved
because the Pelosi family was friends of the Mangione family.
So maybe they put a bunch of puts on the on UHC.
Yeah maybe. But sorry go ahead. I bad.
That's okay. It's stock talk. Stock talk.
Stocks with Money Mac the Candy Man. Yeah the Candy Man.
I made the world make better. Yeah the Candy Man. I want to get a
Willy Wonka hat. Need more sleeper cell agents.
Sleeper cell anemia. Sickle cell. Yeah like I was walking behind this old
guy who was roughly Fauci's size and just instantly had all these thoughts
in my head about her and the Candy Man. So I was just.
What's your say. Me. He would have had security. I was saying something.
It's all good. No. The sunglasses that keep you.
I was ad-libbing. He would have had security but it wasn't Fauci.
No thank god. Okay. For all of us involved. Yeah.
Well I think Fauci he's got to pay for his own security now. He's got plenty of
money. That's sad.
Fauci. Take care of Fauci. Fauci's a good guy.
And I think that he may I mean I think that COVID was natural.
Yeah. And he was just a he's an icon that helps us get through it.
He's a natural. He's a doctor. Also I mean I'm on Team Ukraine against you.
Like if Trump's gonna talk like that I'm not I'm not Team US. I'm Team Ukraine.
Yeah. Like what about like the Ukraine States of America.
I like that. Yeah Ukraine States owned by owned by America.
Yeah we need to make it like sound bad for them. It's like the
the captured. The captured colonies of Ukraine. The Ukraine slaves of America.
Yeah. Volodymyr. But that's like a big one. No but I'd love
Volodymyr Zelensky because he's really like a symbol you know.
Yeah. He's he's a good guy and he doesn't he's not even like a beggar for money and he he doesn't
like they don't sell like half the guns that we give them to the black market.
He's a common man and he was brave and then the powers went to his head.
He's not even a common man. A common man. That's what he actually is a common man.
Even a comedian is just a deceptive manipulator. I got it. I mean
you got to give it to him. He's I don't know if he has past work in sales and persuasion but he's
good sales or one of the best sales people he was able to extort 350 million billion out of the U.S.
And what did like he was saying that thing about influence like you'll feel influenced or something.
That was a threat. Yeah. That's why Trump was like no you're not going to tell us what the hell we're
going to do. What he was saying. He was being good. I think that was like a new world or a threat.
I think he was saying like you know the people around you are just so much of the world or
whatever. It's like they don't want you to be like just he's letting us like I think what he
bailing on us or whatever. You'll feel influenced because he knows all these people being his ear
about it. What's deeper about it is he thinks that Russia is going to like own us somehow
culturally or something which makes no sense because they're not even good at that.
We're the best at propagandizing other countries flipping governments. That's what we do.
OK. We just want to stop this war. So this thing was like about Adidas and like how cool it
looked back in the day. And it's like man I wish that they wouldn't have dropped Kanye because it
was like Adidas jumpsuits like how they became popular and stuff. It was like so cool. It was
like their Olympic team. They like gave the whole Olympic team all Adidas jumpsuits. I love those.
And then it would be who else loves those Ukraine Ukraine people in that area. And then it's like
Bob Keen. Yeah. Well he doesn't he doesn't count as a person. He doesn't really count as a human.
Yeah. Even the people here that wear them. He's a bat rat that sleeps upside down. So
the bat or if you're a delistner you know that Bob Keen and Arielle Julie sleep upside down like
bats under the Belmont Bridge. But Bob has been I don't watch Facebook anymore but he's been
basically just ratting on people right and left for stuff. And so he's a complete rat which I don't
respect even if he's exposing someone for something. Do it on a podcast. Don't do it on Facebook. It's
gay. We use rat like a word like Megan was calling Brandon Kiefer a king of the rats or something.
Well he does look kind of like a rat. Like not not not like the thing is the rat joke. Like I mean
he just looks like a rat like the animal. I'm not not saying that he rats on people. He probably
but he looks like one. I mean Megan Lochte is right about everything. Yeah. She's kind of like
the Alex Jones kind of. I saw who's back where I was like I used to think Alex Jones was just a
comedian like when she first heard him. I could see that. Yeah. It turns out he thought he was like
a parody of someone like him or something like there's no one like him. Now it turns out he's
like Nostradamus and he gets everything right including probably Pandy Pook but he can't go
into that until his lawsuits are over. It sounds like a good dish. A Pandy Pook. Would you write
a Pandy Pook? Would you write a dish of Pandy Pook? Yes. Yeah. I was working on some impressions I
think. Well actually my favorite impressions have just been listening to Alex Jones's impressions of
of Lordy Mejewski. Like why you not give me nuclear bomb. I need give me nuke. Give me nuke please.
Why then like he's like I need nuke so I can get more cocaine and get more cocaine.
When they were signing the nuke that was crazy. You said that Alex Jones was kind of making sex
kind of like orgasm noises during. Oh he was. Yeah. Yeah. It was hilarious because that meeting right
there just basically shakes the New World Order because they want they need this war to keep going.
People were real upset about how Trump acted or like just yeah. I saw so many people complaining
like oh I'm embarrassed because of that. And I also and then I in 2022 there was a news thing
about Joe Biden doing the exact same thing over a billion dollars over one billion dollars
and way less deaths. There was they had a deal that's be signed in 2022 and Boris Johnson fake
Trump. He looks like fake Trump. He looks like Timu Trump. He flew over there and he said no
time to deal. He said damn it's going to deal. And now we're just trying to you know close the war
off in the best terms we can. And you're he's not helping himself being combative.
No I just I feel like when you're in that room and during that part that's not when you
like talk about stuff that he brought up. He was trying to try to desperate what he was trying to
like suck the American get attention from the American people and then you are wrecked.
Maybe don't put your hands in your armpits. Yeah. But I mean he under he was disrespectful
to Rubio Scott Besson. The Treasury. Well because he would tell them one thing and then go on the
media and say the opposite. It was for Rubio and then for Scott Besson. Scott Besson flew all the
way to Ukraine and he had to wait a full day because Vladimir was sleeping and then they had
a meeting and I guess Vladimir was just screaming at him the whole time. The other day I was driving
my car and pulled into the Walgreens. I was just kind of drifting slowly like towards the spot.
And there's this guy walking in front of me to his car and I was at an angle
and I was just like I want to just slowly kept going and just crushed.
You know if you play GTA 5 you know how Franklin has that power where you can slow down the car
and he turns. I actually have that power. You do. Yeah. So I drive my work vehicle and I just kind
of sometimes if it's a tight turn I just go and I can just go. It's kind of like clock stoppers.
Yeah. I love clock stoppers. I want to get a clock stopper watch. Are they expensive?
I don't know. I have this cheap ass with this watch does not stop time. This one's
a gold plated from Malco and old sponsorship of mine. I get a lot of sponsors folks. No we deal.
Are you curious? Do you want to know anything about anything because I have actually our friend
Grock here right now. Grock. Let's ask Grock kind of what he thinks about Drake's if he's going to
be able to recover from the Kendrick whipping. Whippings at the Vesword.
See if how do I talk into it. Yeah I wanted to make that sketch where I'm. Okay hold on.
Hey Grock will Drake ever be able to recover from the Kendrick beef and how and how.
I said hey Brock. No I'm talking why would it say I would think that I said that.
I'm really on Grock. Is it thinking. It's thinking. This one might take a while.
No. Okay they're diving too much into it. Let's say make more concise.
I was afraid of when it talks back. Did you watch the Rogan or the Elon.
Yeah. There's the one with the bitchy one. Yeah.
I don't know how to find that one. I think you have to have the
the premium. I think you either get it through the Grock app. You pay more for it
or you can get it on X but you have to be at a level above regular mode. Yeah I got it.
Okay. Here's the tighter version. Drake can recover from the Kendrick beef. Here's how music.
His new album with party next door February 2025 top charts showing he still got hits.
More bangers like take care could shift focus from the L image. Kendrick this is not like us at
the Super Bowl. Stung but Drake's tour antics karaoke emotional vibes could reframe him as
relatable not rattled stats with 21 diamond songs and streaming dominance time and numbers fade
favor him with fading the beef's noise. He won't win the feud but can outlast it with hits and
hustle hits and I like the end he won't win but I mean this also ties into America versus Canada
and I like how he talked about how he did the song about how Drake's a
stettatile or a feta feta file on the Monday after Alex Jones was
how does not like us go like how does it
no just like like what do you say they know like us okay yeah he's like globalist they
not like us like he's like uh he's like lizard he's like baby baby eating lizard people like
he's not like us he was going off it's awesome yeah there were mixed reviews on the right wing
twitter some some liked it because it was it was kind of exposing that kind of thing some
um people that are took the dark red pill dark there's different shades of the red pill
there was the pink pill I've taken the the deepest pill you can take is the
cue QAnon pill but that pill is also has poisoned in it because you have no idea if it's true
you don't know how it's gonna mix with your real pills the deepest truth is if you go to
someone like Alex Jones who was sponsored by so go to the elksjones.com slash made a comedy
but the reason I like watching infowars stuff is because they go through everything that like
like uh whatever you new station or platform is saying about something and then give their analysis
and laugh at the retarded headlines but it means it's not an echo chamber where I don't see all the
stuff yeah I see it counter arguments yeah and then they say this argument's gay what's a counter
argument like we're arguing like we're kind of like a counter yeah I'm not gonna argue I'm not
gonna argue about my counter my kitchen counter no that's one that you let the wife pick that yeah
but never let the wife uh never tell the wife to choose where to go to dinner it'll take an
hour before she makes a decision I learned a little trick for you just you just say I'm thinking pizza
how about you that's what you do no you say guess where we're going tonight okay I like that whatever
she guesses oh just go how the fuck did you yeah yeah I like that it's manipulation tech that so you
walk in and say that to her and the kids uh-huh you just pray that it's nowhere where you need to buy
tickets or reservations or that bad fish you don't want to go yeah yeah yeah mcdonald's mcdonald's
a good this bitch better pick mcdonald's yeah scooby's you ever read scooby's there should be
mcdonald's fridays from now on um oh let's see did Al Sharpton's uh boy got work I want to know about
like a bit that you did before you were a real comedian or it's like something in life that was
like stupid that you did that you're like this is so funny like it's basically a bit but then
oh in jail you didn't really know it was a bit yet in jail when I was doing push-ups and rapping
yeah in my own cell yeah stuff like that yeah um well I what's so stupid you didn't high school
or college though I've done a lot of stuff like that I mean I just like I told people to call me Dan
marino for like a month yeah I just was Dan marino no but Pat McAllister was the best one
like yeah I'm Pat McAllister my dad's a lord do you know who my dad is yeah I don't have my
d bouncer but do you know who my dad is and they said no no one likes like yeah so I wanted to be
the guy that no one likes yeah and Pat McAllister Pat McAllister someone no one likes that's a good
bit um Al Sharpton so Al Sharpton is not a very sharp guy in my opinion he used to be like a symbol
for the black community but now he's like I don't think black people even like him he just gets paid
money it's a say whatever people want to say yeah it's like when you used to know tv channels and they
only had a few black people that were famous like Condoleezza Rice had to hold an important role
in the in the culture that's part of my when I'm like needing intervention for thinking on black
it's like you keep saying the culture all the time well I'm black I do when I got my 23 and me
guess what it said Jewish no it said it said I'm white oh what I was shocked I was like
they're trying to white clearly clearly 23 and me is fake trying to whitewash me yeah trying to
pin me trying to try to pin me as a white male so I can't get a job are they gonna rename you now
yeah exactly what are they gonna call me uh instead of Toby yeah what are they gonna call me uh
mountain Denali instead of Mount McKinley because I'm like that you know I actually had to correct
my dad my dad has trumped rangement syndrome shout out dad if you're listening um but he said yeah I
climbed up most of Mount Denali and I said oh you mean McKinley right and then he's in Mount Denali
now he he uh didn't fight back on that one yeah he said McKinley for the rest of the conversation
whenever I'm at dinner with my dad um there's always I always slide passive jabs in about how
the Democratic Party sucks I mean doesn't fight back well sometimes I mean this is picking his
battles it's normally like small things I pick like like because I don't think I'm a Democrat
or a Republican I just support the president I because I listen to Biden yeah well no oh yeah I
well I didn't know who the president was I saw an old guy falling and then he stole my bit right he
stole my bit so I don't like Biden I don't like the Biden administration okay for that reason
Obama I I always said thanks Obama yeah I look he don't like so obviously I was thankful for Obama
I I said for about every issue that happened I said thanks Obama so you can't say I didn't like him
also that guy was so good at doing drone strikes Obama and I love that yeah he's a sharp shooter yeah
sharper than I'll sharpen he's like one of the best oh your camera froze weirdly no you're good though
no um hmm I was watching the wrong movie holes the other day you watch holes I thought I was
watching the Shia LaBeouf but this is this one was much different what was it was the other kind
of holes oh was it porn port was a print for an hour it's safe to say porn ag for short you know
I want to combine sex work and slot machines somehow like you could win like a some pussy
yeah some kind of job yeah get a real job you win a job yeah instead of dude that could really help
with um unemployment if you win a job from okay now mine's not working we're just like if you get a
a that's that we'll be right back on winning a job at the casino well job and we're back we're
talking about if you could somehow mix gambling and sex work maybe you could win an only fan
subscription that's like a win a job yeah my question is that the low-route employment the casino
would like it because person's making more money no but it's like a good job I mean there's different
levels probably of jobs you can win so you do the job slot machine no one's gonna play that game
that's how communism should work as you play a job slot machine yeah and sometimes you'll be like
good at it and like it and then some people would be dmv workers that'd be like that is not my job
that's how you remember the white house press secretary uh kareen jump here she was a dmv
worker she was always like peter doos you would ask her question she'd be like that is not my job
and then now we have caroline levitt who's sexy and she's like the best press secretary of all time
if you could put them in a film together dude a lot of good ones the what i dream about is
is having a threesome with caroline levitt and alina habba do you know who that is trump she's like
trump's uh lawyer she showed me her yeah all i dream about is beaver i dream about
all day i dream about uh sports you know all day i dream about semitism all day i dream all day i dream
about sex i can't even spell semitism you just fell sex the tizm s e cts sex people say that tizm
are they talking about semitism or i don't know some yeah some cemeteries i have semi-autism
semi-autism some autism yeah i'm anti-semitists
i think everyone is though yeah i mean you can't like them all
yeah i mean anyone that doesn't like you on his abelist exactly so which means most of the left
wing media abelist we're talking about asperger pretty yeah i thought you should have about burgers
and tromba osbergers from his free free free comedy name a more american guy than donald trump
yankee doodle i don't know nobody
name a more african-american guy than elon musk because he can he can throw a football too you
know trump he's yeah literally people these people love these people love de i but an african-american
working as a as the a working as a working as an appointee um is is is bad and he's this guy it gets
two pretty big points on the de i quota disability and he's african-american yeah and he's almost like
the most african-american because one he's the president the us he's the most american right
and then he's actually from africa unlike every other african-american yeah much well also he's
from south africa where they're actually killing white people like it's like a real thing going on
there it's like a white genocide like a ritual no it's like a real thing going on which is pretty
pretty not nice like i don't want to get genocide i'll serve rwanda and invaded kongo you know i
know what he cares about the area rwanda forever sorry kongo but i was in rwanda it was cool it was
cool it was nice i'm on yeah i'm on the side of rwanda in this um rwanda pick a side on this i do rwanda
i'm more i'm more of a cosmo guy kongo yeah no cosmo and rwanda the family and parents
i like those they were fairly odd in my opinion they're a fairly they were they're odd odd parents
yeah they're kind of they're like wands and wings look or anything
and they're like do they fuck like he takes max assuming he gets beans on the podcast
i think the beans it's when beans gonna be in town we have to fly him in is he in california
we could have probably got him to come here if we paid for his plane no shot in the hell i'm doing
that why that would be worth it for the beans get cooked beans got cooked did he get in LA did he get
lit on fire no i thought oh yeah actually i don't know what if he got burned alive i think his can
might have been fire resistant that's good yeah it's always better be safe than sorry i have a
fire extinguisher i got it because my old roommate uh i was a firefight was pretending for being a
firefighter it's only a good one it's always smart to have and i was like i don't really need this
shit and then my back deck lit on fire and i put it out yeah well i didn't light it on fire
well i cleaned it and then i burned the things for a while while i was watching it okay and i
turned the burners off went uh hung out for a bit to make sure that everything was good
took a little nap nap you know i just walked inside and then somebody was buzzing on my door
my front door and i was like probably a fucking uh someone asking me to drill church
rillarity saints i turned out there's someone trying to warn me that my back deck was on fire
yeah but i got a phone call from mic unit one that the neighbors from across the street on the other
side could see my community takes my back deck on fire so yeah i like my community thank you
community for letting me know and then i rebuilt that part of the deck and then i ended up rebuilding
the whole buildings the deck without a permit nice i'm not gonna go through all the fucking
bureaucracy to rebuild the deck i'm just gonna you know i'm gonna do i'm just gonna rebuild the deck
yeah but all i did was just i kept everything the same as it was i just replaced all the boards or i
power washed them and re-stained them but i took out every single screw probably like
80 000 screws yeah you had a lot of screws loose yeah i have a screw loose
mm-hmm some people say some people say i'm i'm uh i'm screwed in you know like i'm smart as
shit like locked in what's up oh what up bro what's up we're just finishing up um we're uh
this guy's fucking ninja his way in here yeah sick did you buzz unit one and
i got buzzed in and then i started doing like some dialogue yeah oh yeah it's probably the guy from
that series you're good um dylan do you have any plugs um no just electricity uh or else working on
yeah at comedy baddie yeah at comedy baddie and uh i'm trying to laugh like elon musk
go that's good that's good i like that um i'm uh mac again threat to democracy following me a bad boy
comedy um obviously you all know to follow oh follow abay comedy podcast on everything
check it out um if you're listening on audio check out the video on youtube if you're
watching a video go to audio and you can do both depending on the situation here and you can't
always watch stuff if you watch the movie holes make sure it's the right one yeah not the one
important hope that's the one you watched um and you know of course every friday saturday you can
catch me on the main stage zany's live factory comedy bar um so just go there um i'm probably
performing if i'm not performing make sure you complain to management wise and mac nepper on stage
yeah so folks i appreciate you listening go to patreon.com slash bad comedy that's patreon.com
slash bad comedy that's where the funny episodes are the first one's bad on purpose
they're all bad just how many are bad on purpose am i right well i mean the other ones are ironically
bad the the ones by the paywall they're they're good they're like i i just recently listened back
through every episode i spent about a year doing it they're all really fucking good
and i was thinking about we need to change the name of the podcast
but it's so ingrained now it's been like three years it should be good comedy
actually have the handles for that good comedy pot if we ever need them actually yeah nice it's
like it's like buying a domain we should we should buy ukraine shout out to the ukrain slaves america
yeah anti anti shout outs is uh vladimir shout outs of ledmer putin let's just all get along and
that's yeah that's what that's one of the things i came up with why can't we just all get along
and then also like friends don't judge a man by the color of his skin but the content of his
character yeah like my character listens to a lot of dr dray and snoop mm-hmm yeah i have a
well i've made a lot of characters yeah some like pat mcallister but don't judge some of the
characters that i've made up because it's not nice judging by what they would listen to you
should actually judge some of them by the color of the skin to be honest you know you're listening
to too much rogan when you're looking for ufo's in the sky i mean after after hearing there's
already 20 million aliens here i doubt i stopped even caring about the ufo's already here who
all right folks thanks for listening we got a fantastic guest coming up it's i'm not going to
say who it is because if i did it's just by the podcast just join patreon.com slash we had a comedy
as of the guest episodes are but it's it's it's we got a big guest we got someone that you you know
for sure now all of you this was a this was a get for sure yeah this is uh it sometimes i know we
kind of hype things up a lot let's say let's say his name rhymes with pimp hillan or we could say
he's just a pimp and yeah it's it's tim dillon so go to patreon.com slash bad comedy thanks folks we
love you