Hey everybody, welcome to the bad comedy podcast. So happy to be here on this fine day. I'm
Mac Nepper stand up comedian and I'm here with you on my dog.
My god. I was born in the Third Reich. It sounds like Doc Doc Matt. Love Elon Musk. That guy is
does not is not socially aware. Yeah, our heart goes out to Elon, you know, because I mean, think
about how ableist these people are out here calling him a Nazi. No sensitivity. It is insane. Like
yeah, this guy is book smart, but he just like was saying he's really throwing his heart out to the
crowd. And then he does a gang sign. Yeah, exactly. It's like if I was just like peace, but I
accidentally have the thumb down. It looks like I'm doing GD. Yeah, you do it backwards with the
wrong hand. Right back. But back to what we were saying. So that'd be wild. If I mean, we could
just replace the people in Congress with what their mascot is. So we got one side, it's all
elephants. Yeah, or a Cinco fans. And then we got one side. It's all donkeys. We can maybe we
could have like crows crows. Well, crows before oh, there'd be Oh, this would be kind of cool. This
would be a cool painting that I could do. So you have the the hawk the war hawks of the Republican
Party and the rhinos, the rhinos. And then you have the elephants, which would be the the true
Republicans. Yeah, that'd be real cool. Those would be establishment. I don't know what the
MAGA ones would be. Just Trump's. Did you see when Andre he posted like, does anyone want this
painting? Andre Hashpipe? Yeah, I actually had him up for today. If we didn't respond. He's
probably in a depressive state. I mean, he has those cycles, you know, was he I want to manic I
want him to be manic. I want to be I want to be bipolar because I want to be manic.
The ups and downs of being bipolar. Yeah, I want the ups. I heard that the ups. It's like it's
frustrating because it's amazing. Or when you go on your meds, then it's like you don't get the ups.
Yeah. But it sounds like you don't get the suicidal thoughts. Yeah. From the downs. But they said that
it's amazing if you if you're bipolar and when you have the ups because you don't give a fuck
about anything and you just do whatever you know. Yeah. And you're basically just like consequences.
You're living in a dream. Yeah. You're like and then people are trying to get you to take your meds.
Yeah. And you're like, hell no. This rules. Yeah. Yeah. I think you have to wait till they're
depressed and be like, see, this is why we said meds. Yeah. Just drug them. I never know when Andre
has pipes in the when he's in the facility or not. So he's in or when he's at the skate park as he
is on the half pipe. Does he board it up? Yeah. Oh, Trump was talking Trump was talking about half pipes
the other day. Yeah, don't the California half pipes that they have that water can go down. He's
like, you got these half pipes, these amazing half pipes that ever bone dry. The skaters are
to be pissed when there's water going down that the skaters probably using those big half pipes.
Did you see Tony Hawking? There's this video from talking about when he got this check for like
four million dollars. And it's like, dude, you were already cool. You don't need to get paid. But
it's a dollars. It's an honor. He'll probably put it towards, you know, his brain damage over the
years. Yeah. The one thing about I like street skaters more. I like the manualing skaters. Yeah.
I think that I've always thought that was cooler than just going on a fucking half pipe. Yeah. Also,
you know, those big, big half pipes that in like California. So Greece was probably based in
California, the movie Greece. That's where they were racing like Greece, a lot. And on. Oh, yeah.
What a cool scene. Yeah. And now, now you can't race Greece Lightning anymore because it's like
how are we going to have water going through those? Yeah. How are they going to determine
who gets the Gale? What did you say? Who wins the woman? Who gets Sandra D? Yeah. You're supposed
to like win a cool car race and look at her. Sandra D. She's hot. Sandra D. Look at me. I'm
Sandra. But that was a song making fun of her. No. Yeah. They're bullying her because she wasn't
getting pregnant. But then that was a girl. So mean. That girl's name was Rizzo, right? Right.
She nothing Rizzo. The main mean girl is Rizzo. Yeah. French. She was the one the ginger. And we
sound gay knowing this. No, I was thinking, oh, I just I'm gay in that way. I want to burst out
into song half the time. Or it's just I love Greece and you don't like me back to my childhood.
But you don't like frolic around or anything, right? No, but I want to. I want to like prance.
Yeah. I do want to just don't go. I'm trying to remember what song was playing last night. I'm
just like, I'm so into this and can't even show it. Yeah. See, because you're look at me. Sandra D.
Well, that's the vision. Well, she ends up getting pregnant. Everyone laughs at her. You stupid bitch.
Yeah. Shouldn't have made fun of the. Yeah. Shouldn't have made fun of the Sandra D. Who got no D.
Trying to take her energy away. Yeah. And discredit her. Yeah. Hey, guys, maybe go back to Greece
when you're thinking about abortion. See, Rizzo could have a word that baby and she didn't. It's
like when I'm sad, I think about my cats or I think about musicals sometimes. Oh, do you like
one time I lost watch cast or listen to it? Yeah, I love cats. Musical. Yeah. I told you my aunt was
in Cats on Broadway. She played like a little bell. Giselle Bell is one of the cats names.
And see, I'd love to have a sit down conversation with her. Talk about what that was like and maybe
watch it with her. She would hate everything about this podcast because she's the one whose kids are
all non-binary or trans. Oh, wow. So is there a connection to the musical? But I love them. I
love the New York family of mine. We just don't, you know, align politically. I want to sit down
and watch. What are we going to watch with your pops? Maybe actually. Yeah, we won't watch ants
with your with your dad. And then we can afterwards kind of have like a conversation. Maybe we'll play
like we'll play backgammon or something. And we'll kind of talk about how we'll shoot the shit and
play in backgammon. Talk about how kind of ants is really about society. You know, the workers,
the soldiers, and then the the despots, the, you know, the evil kings. Yeah, we could talk about
also watch bugs life after that. It makes you happy. Yeah, because ants. Yeah, ants is more
of a real life thing. And then bugs life is led by another ant. But his name is Flick. Yeah. So
we're thinking just kind of a dedicated whole day to we get to come watch the movies with you and
shoot the shit a little. Yeah. And then we could do we could do a bee marathon. Yeah. So
it might be a triple marathon. Right. So we'll watch a movie. We'll watch the beekeeper with
Jason Statham. Yes. Watch a documentary about bees. Be about like a National Geographic one
about bees and then a documentary about bees. That's like talking about beekeepers and
or when those planet Earth videos about bees or have you seen the prank of the bee prank where
you're in an elevator? Yeah, I love pranks like that. I don't I always feel uncomfortable because
I think yeah traumatic for that person. I think we should take over England as a prank. That would
be funny. I could make their national animal be. Yeah, I think they'd be happy. Yeah. Liberate them
is what we'll call it. Do you think that as a prank? I wonder if the Greek sorry the Canada thing
is I wonder if part of Canada will join the US like Alberta because they want to. I think we
really are working on getting Canada. I think we're actually well I think we are but I but I we don't
we don't we don't want Toronto and Montreal. We don't want that. We don't why? No, because that's
like the most liberal and it's like it's like our it's like their California. It's like their LA.
Yeah, well, it's like where they were they were they were they joking about it. They're not joking
where they fix the elections and they do no voter ID so that they can do that. It's all gonna change.
Yeah, so I mean I'm down to I'm down to take just Alberta which is like the big middle of it. Yeah,
I guess their their country is basically their east is their blue and their left is their red
and then you get a little bit of blue in British Columbia near California.
Yeah, I remember when I was a kid and I started learning about the colors and I just felt like
the the blues and purples and indigos that was kind of my jam. I liked that there was a crayon
not a crayon sold I don't want to get cancelled but there was a crayon the the flavor of it was
purple mountains of majesty. Wow, and always stuck in your hand. I think that's majestic. Yeah,
that's beautiful. I love that crayon and it really was kind of majestic.
Flash forward the color purple apparently is an Oprah product. Oh really? Yeah. Were you born?
I'm gonna take it back. Were you born kind of like that? Yeah, I was born in the United States.
Kind of like that? Yeah, I was born purple. Why? Because my dick was wrapped around my neck and
it was choking me out. It's like I don't want it around my neck. Right. Do you have to get dick
shrinking surgery? Yeah. I mean, I'd imagine it took off way too much. Otherwise you have to tape it
to your leg at least. Yeah, I actually did have to get surgery on my belly button when I was like
12 days old or something. Right. I don't remember it but it's pretty traumatizing. I have a similar
issue but it's still a thing. Like you know the girl's coming tripod. Yeah. Because I like can
balance on my my dick. Yeah and they say they would call you that because you're always taking
pictures of us. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a cave. I do set up a lot of tripods. I set up four tripods
today. Real tripods. It's 12 legs. It's even more legs than you want. That was good. That's some
quick math. Are you raining? Yeah, I can count legs instantly. Yeah. Yeah. I just see three groups
of four legs and or vice versa. Or one group of eight legs. Yeah. I'm talking spider legs baby.
So we are going to start a GoFundMe to get beekeeper outfits, wooden shoes and we're going to need
shoes. Yeah. I mean spider legs. Yeah. First things first. We're going to need at least five
more dollars than we have. That was that five dollars was sent to us from a merchant of Venice
I think. Yeah we definitely are going to be promoting that pretty hard soon. So that's
that's kind of important. That's it's coming soon. Also I've missed the Malort delivery. They're
delivering us a bunch of merchandise and bottles but there's a little note left on the door.
We missed you and then I was thinking this you missed you. I haven't seen the making of that song.
I'm so sorry. I've seen the music video. Yeah there's just some inspirational clips out there
that I remember Tony Hawk getting millions dollars checks and then the making of the Blink 182 song.
I mean that was just like the song so good as they're making it fucking like late 90s was the
time to be a kid. What was the time? And then on 9-11 happened then we entered the matrix.
Yeah and sometimes like when I hear music from my childhood like that I just look back and it just
makes me sad because I just remember yeah I was just isolated. Like fight like brave don't be a slave.
Or even Grease. I love Grease and then I think back to my childhood of why do I love Grease?
It was a stockholder syndrome. My family life is Grease because my mom's side of the family
is all in performing arts which is super gay and my dad's family's stoic and cool.
So yeah me and your dad need to kick it soon and potentially invite you I guess. What the heck?
Yeah maybe we'll watch movies with you. Maybe I'll invite you. Talk about chicks and stocks.
Last time Dale wanted to have dinner with me and my dad my dad said Dale's had enough dinner.
Oh wow taking a cheap shot I think. And I told Dale that. I said you've had enough dinner.
I actually believe that this was a real story. I think my dad didn't actually say that.
Oh really? But I told Dale that. I know for sure I told Dale that. I said you've had enough dinner
and he starts dying laughing. And I was thinking like if your dad said that it would have been just
an incompetence like you would assume you would tell him that.
Well one time when Michael Robinson was in like Good Graces and Sober. Fuck that guy.
Once upon a time.
Yeah once upon a time. We went to Fat Pour on division and we were eating dinner and my dad
had two. Dale got brought up and my dad was just fucking going just made just joke after joke about
Dale. Wow. It was really funny. Like father like son. Yeah he's a good jokester. But yeah we were
talking about how Mac's dad was basically a visionary with his stock choices. Kind of sus
if you ask me. A little sus. Maybe a little Nancy Pelosi energy. He sold office furniture so it'd
be tough to kind of see it. See how he got this insider information. Finds a little chump change
in there. So let's gamble on Amazon. Yeah so for some background here my dad. He's a rain man.
He put a bunch of money in Amazon when they were selling books and in Apple when they basically
just had like the little computer with the screen. It was like the same thing as like
one of those gateway computers or and then he put a bunch of Apple Amazon Google and Tripotle.
Little sus. And then at the IPO of Facebook he invested in it and then.
It shot up like a rocket. We are hoping to shoot the shit with his dad soon and just we'll probably
have him review some stocks we're considering. Yeah well. See what he thinks. I'm trying to get a
I'm trying to get a long hold on. Yeah Ron and Ron a lot of Ron. Yeah I'm thinking Trump University
trying to buy it low. I'm thinking Trump University. Get some Trump you stock.
Maybe you can go back to school. Yeah I think another degree. Black Rock that's racist.
Yes. Yeah we're talking about crack cocaine. Black. Yeah. And then yeah rock.
Big crack rock. So I think that they actually. Yeah maybe they put it in the neighborhoods to
get people hooked on it. Well we know for a fact the CIA did that. Maybe. To fund the Venezuelans.
Yeah but it's like why they do exactly. So there's always there's to fund the justification. The
Nicaraguans I believe. If you say Nicaragua the wrong way. They can go wrong. Right. We're trying
to be level five Mac. I think we've matured as comedians. What I'm saying I'm saying the country
of Nicaragua. Yeah. If you say it the wrong way then you might get yourself in a little bit of
trouble. I don't want to sound like come down here you know. What. Just we don't need to rip ourselves
off from. We're mature comedians now. I mean we're not going to be going for these cheap laughs
anymore. We're the top comics. We're not the top podcast anymore. Yeah we are. I'm depressed about
it. I decided. Really. Yeah. There's no voter ID. Yeah. That guy doesn't even have a Patreon.
Diego and and the other guy that have sex that that podcast has one patron.
Oh it's a brother number one. Now. Yeah. I don't know folks. Show us some love.
Remind me that you listen. Yeah. Please go to Patreon dot com slash bad comedy because right
now the money Dylan's putting out there is all we have left and we just copy money. We just move
back to our Chicago studio because our L.A. studio burned down as you know. We're trying to settle in
here but we need your funds. We got the crew back here working their work in the box off.
And quite frankly they really need the help. And we really appreciate you guys working so
goddamn hard after. I don't mean to cuss but just week after week you guys are working super hard
and they do very little reward sometimes. It's not always rewarding. Right. And then we kind of just
come in here and do our thing and kind of own the space and then leave and you got a bunch of
cleaning up to do. Yeah. They come here an hour early leave here an hour late. They'd be flexible
with our time. Yeah. And then they you know edit the videos. Our videos we edited heavily before
we put them out to make sure we have the top quality content mostly on guest episodes. Those
are the good ones. Then we come in here and complain and then kind of cash in on it. And
we just really appreciate it. So just you're working super hard and we appreciate it.
Dylan I was trying to find the guest episodes. Where do you find those. So you can find them
on the Patreon bad comedy podcast. Oh. Is that patreon.com slash bad comedy. Yeah.
So it's also an app like you just got to get the app you've never used before. It's that simple.
I think for you old folks you can do it on your on your old computer right in front of you. Yeah.
Just have someone young help you if you need help. Yeah. And if you don't have any young people around call us. Yeah.
We're pretty pretty young. Call us at 911. Pretty we're underdeveloped. Right. Call 911 and ask for
bad comedy podcast. It's an emergency. Yeah. Oh. It's a comedy emergency. You know I haven't I haven't
taken emergency in a while. You know that stuff you put in the water. Yeah. It's pretty good. You
could take it. You don't need to be dying. Yeah. Well I also take I mean I take a good amount of
vitamin C every day but I kind of like that rush of vitamin C. You know the citrus. I also love.
What's that that orange is kind of like that one kind of not high C.
The different one the best one. It's not Taz or whatever.
Zycam. It's not the monkey one. Tang. It's not Tang. I love the Tang commercials.
Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Antrimima. Rest in Power. Ben Rice. Rest in Power. Uncle my name is
Uncle Ben Rice. Rest in Rice. Uncle Ben. They should put an Asian Uncle Ben on there. Uncle Chen.
Buy or buy or buy rice right here. I mean it's like you want the expert right.
You want the long standing tradition. Right. If I'm buying rice and I'm walking down the aisle
of jewel you know I'm going to I'm going to buy the one where I see the Chinese guy with the rice
hat on because that's the guy who farms at the rice paddy. And if I can't find in the store I'll ask
someone like where's them. Well I guess I have a guy with the big hat. Alas the first Chinese person I find.
Where's the rice here. Yeah. Do you know that you helped find the rice.
That's good. Yeah that's really good. We get a lot of Chinese. China is kind of crazy right. Yeah China right.
Yeah they're they're always really secretive. They cut like cables under the ocean. They're just like
let me just set up shop. Yeah. Right here. We just want to open a laundromat. Yeah. It's like hey we're
just going to the other side of the world. We're just going to buy like farmland surrounding all your nuclear
plants. But we're just this for farming. They're just trying to grow some rice. Yeah. We're just
hanging out by the Panama Canal. It's it's no big deal. We're just trying to you know there's good
rice farming over here. You know. Yeah. It's like we're just going to build China town right around
your town. Just call it Chinatown. Don't worry about it. You know the U.S. made Panama a country.
Well I thought we took it from Colombia. I didn't know that. Yeah. So not only do we take it from
there we built the Panama Canal. That's ours. We built Panama is a great song. We made Panama.
Yeah. They have to be our puppets. Sorry. Can we change the name of the Panama to America.
Yeah we should. America. The pan. How about Pan America.
I always wanted to win the Pan Am's as a wrestler but I was not even close ever to qualifying.
That's kind of sounds cool. It's kind of weird. Pan Am's. Is that in wrestling.
It's weird how the how the that is ideology is really broken so early to even wrestling
or very man career. You got what was it called pan pan am pan pan sexual and then there's
trans ams. That's you know racing. Right. It's it that's it's you know all this stuff slowly
creeped its way into all of our institutions and I love it. I voted for Kamala Harris.
So did Putin. Mainly for Tim Waltz. So Tim Waltz sometimes does a double Nazi salute. He does a
lot of those. Got to watch out. AOC too. They cancel out. And also they don't have Asperger's.
So they don't have any excuse. No excuse. But he might say he does. Well he might say that he had
Asperger's. Tim Waltz. No he's just really gay.
So we need to learn how to reinvent the wheel. Yeah. We need to learn how to riff about
people not being gay and being race a certain race. I think that we could do it. Be a certain
rice. I think. See that was good. I like that. We don't want to be racist. What do you want to talk
about Dylan. So it's just kind of Bill Maher. Bill Maher. Bill Maher. And he can't go in any
direction about his sexuality. Bill Maher is pissed at Gavin Gruesome. Gavin Gruesome. He's been
going off on him. What's he been saying. Do his voice if you don't mind. He's actually you
don't care bass hard to. He was like and Karen Bass is or and L.A.'s mayor Karen Bass the new
Nero is Nero burnt down his city so that he could build a bigger castle. He was like the
modern day Nero playing her playing her playing her fiddle while the city burns.
Well they don't let down any of the water. Where's where's the where's the water Gavin.
Where's the where's the water Gavin. And then Trump went down there and talked to them.
He had a stern talking to him. Sometimes all you need is someone to just be a little stern.
And then he went to North Carolina first slap on the wrist. I'm happy with North Carolina first
because they just got forgotten about. Where's the water Gavin. Like the beat is like a big
beat. It's like a big blunder like the water at that time. What did you say. That's a pretty big
blunder. You kind of need water to put out the fire. Yeah. And the main reservoir was the main
reservoir was empty for the city. You don't want to mess up your job but especially not that job.
Right. And then Trump was saying like you really don't even need these reservoirs if you have the
water coming down you don't need to just keep rainwater in these things. You know you can have
like good farmland. People say don't drink the water in this town. It has E. coli. You can use
your half pipes. He said you can use your half pipes. I'm sure that's going to get him a lot of
skateboarder vote. Yeah so maybe the. Or they can surf on the water. Skater dive. They get surf.
The surfers can surf on the water coming down that half pipe. Get a bigger water half pipe.
That's sick. That would be cool. I saw like Kelly Zuckerberg posted himself surfing. Did he have a
bunch of sunscreen on his nose. I think he's still alive. Yeah. So he's he survived. So he's trying
to be cool now. He's not cool. Sorry. Sorry. You're not cool. Well yes I thought about this. Yeah.
I thought about how would I be cool. No. This guy is something. Somebody was talking about him. It
was also in the tech world and they were just saying he loves the Roman Empire. He kind of
sees the meta universe as his Roman Empire. So the haircut he had for a while was like a Augustus
Caesar style haircut from the paintings. He like little Caesar. So he has like some kind of emperor
complex. But too bad. Zuck you got to bow down to Emperor Trump. We're dissolving the Senate. We're
dissolving the whole Congress crowning Trump and that we're going to prove the wrap prove the news
right that he's a dictator must have been fake when I thought that Trump had a mullet. Well I had a
cool like third grader haircut for a second. I think he's got a trim. It was so cool. I got I got
lined up today. You got lined up. Yeah. Yeah. He's got the widow's peak. Yeah. Like the Rizler.
So the Rizzo I haven't seen any honor at this Rutgers. Like all I hear is Tim Dylan talking
about him. Is he just a fat kid who eats food and the whole family does. Yeah. There's like he's not
in that family but there's this other there's a dad and son that grew up with them. It's freaky.
Yeah. And then Tim Dillon talks about how they're satanic. Yeah.
They're a specific kind of demon. I want to become a pilot so I can be one of those
get one of those planes that picks up water and dumps you pick it up from the ocean.
But I just dip it down. I would just like to fly it around and misquote my quota. Yeah. Or just
like as a prank you're just just out of fire going on. You just fill it with hundreds of gallons of
water. Gasoline. Yeah. Yeah. Oh I thought we needed gasoline. Oh yeah. My bad. I filled up the
I filled up the tank. You know it's illegal in California to or in the U.S. to I guess what's
you fill up those things those planes you can put like certain flame retardants in them and it's
illegal. Like I guess it's like 10 times more effective for putting out fires. Wow. It's illegal
but it's illegal to do that. It's not wildfire. I like regulations. Yeah. I mean it makes sense
to overregulate. That's why I love Gavin Doosam and his comb hair. No that was funny video of
him like the impression of him where he's just like yeah. That's one of the guys the guy in that
video is one of the guys from PBD podcast. Patrick David. It's a good one. Oh that guy is just so
extra. Yeah. But his he's got a good squad on his podcast. The other guys he's just like let me just
try to interview all the top names and just get get some content going. Yeah. You know his content
is money. Yeah. That guy is hopefully that guy's a real guy's a true businessman. So but he's also
from Iran originally. So we got to watch out for him. No. Just like just like Jerry and Sahar.
Yeah. There is definitely a royalty and it seems not very American. Even Elon is African American.
Jeff Bezos who knows he's he's going to space now and then Mark Zuckerberg is definitely.
Didn't Jeff Bezos stop his program or or Cubans Cube or he combined it with Elon's or something.
No. Just maybe I think he's a similar technology. No I think but I think he stopped pursuing
a separate competitive or competing thing. Yeah. I think so. And then put the resources towards
SpaceX. No. I think so. No. I'll look we'll look it up before the special guest episode. We got a
huge guest coming on by the way folks on the real on the real episode. Not physically but the idea of
the idea of see all this. You see this glacier right here when this melts. Yeah. From up in
above Canada and everything all that water can go down in California. I'm always worried about
when I drink a beer now if it's not changing color it's not cold enough. Yeah. It's like I
buy the laundry detergent because it looks like a mountain on the front. I think that would cool
the smell like a mountain and then it doesn't. Yeah. Coors light doesn't stop. Coors light never
tastes like a mountain. Yeah. There's always mountains on it. I want to live in the mountains.
I want to disconnect live off the grid. You want to. Yeah. Be one with the quarters. It'd be kind
of cool. Yeah. To start hunting and have no experience. And yeah. And drinking Coors. Making
furs of the squirrels and the different critters. You'd meet some other capture. You'd meet some
other wanderers on the road and they'd be like so what brought you is why did you become a rambler
like me and then you'd be like I want Coors light. And then they just get pelted with my spear.
You fool. Yeah. How could you trust me in this wilderness. You should. I want to build a giant
tree house like that. Did you watch that Netflix thing that bank robber. Really. He lived in a big
ass tree house. That's how you hit. Then they would rob a bunch of banks. It's awesome. Yeah.
If the money in the tree house. I don't know. So yeah. It's like a really big tree house in
LA area. I guess money does grow on trees. We're working on our Elon laugh impression.
It was giving us a headache last week. I think we need to send people to the. We need to be one with
the stars. I would enter a star and be burned alive. He's like we want to be one with the stars
but I don't know when close to us is the sun pretty close. It warms it warms us. Do you think. I
think when Elon is on his deathbed he's going to be like push me and I want to be pushing to the
sun. I want to be right off into the sun. I want to be eviscerated into the sun. Yeah. Yeah. He'll
have a it'll be a Tesla spaceship. Just auto fly towards the sun. I think he wants to die on Mars.
Mars is like kind of sucks. Yeah Mars is Mars is like it's a fixer up or definitely a fixer
up. It's like Mars is like lazy almost as bad as California right now. I'll always buy another one.
And remember when like hundreds of people died in North Carolina and FEMA didn't help everyone
forgot about that. Yeah it'd be cool to abolish FEMA. That's what Trump's saying now. Yeah.
Give the money to the states. That makes more sense than the neighboring states can help.
Well it's just like if you suck at your job you got to get fired.
If you don't help. All that does is add to the bureaucracy and also states know their state better
too. I like bureaucracy. I like idiocracy. Thanks bureaucracy. Yeah a lot of people are saying we're
going to an idiocracy. Yeah that'd be cool. That's a good movie. And that's a good movie. But at the
same time the people that are arguing that are also putting housing above Costco's which is
literally in idiocracy too. Like it's exactly what's in it. Is it. Well. Yeah.
I'll drink to that. Sometimes. Holocaust go.
This is just groundbreaking content folks. It is. Breaking ground on Mars hopefully. Yeah. Well
we're just waiting until the next episode. It's a good one. So stay tuned. This one we're kind of
phoning it in. Yeah. The other ones that page your end dot com slash bad comedy can't be on every time.
Yeah. I do want to say one thing about the Burdock route. Let's hear it. Well if you go to I got this
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this has got the best iodine. It's got Burdock root. It's got the other thing and it makes all
your glands feel amazing. Your skin glows like it's it's a it makes your skin actually glow
which is kind of you look like a mutant. So go get that. And I got a bunch of good cool stuff you buy.
Yeah it's cool. But Patreon dot com slash bad comedy. Next week there's ever been an advertisement
for this show. It's this episode. Yeah. These episodes are advertisements. How do you guys not
get that. It's like a reverse advertisement. It's like I feel so unsatisfied that I have to buy more
now. Yeah. And to make up for this hole in my being. Even if you guys don't plan on listening
to most of the episodes it's three ninety nine. So keep forgetting to raise the price and you can
have to pay 30 percent more in fees now because of Apple. Fuck Steve Apple. It's time to stop
phoning it in. It's time for the audience to stop phoning it in. Step up. Step up folks.
Just put your money where your mouth is and support us. OK. Make thumbnails again by we I mean you.
I make them. I've been making thumbnails. You have been for the public episodes. Oh yeah. I made I made
one of them kind of late but I made two pretty good ones. Remember when you made the Beatles one.
Iconic. Yeah. Yeah. No I made it. I made a good one. There was it was one was Gavin Newsome and one
was 9-11 is an outside job. Oh yeah. I'll post them. Yeah. I think I made one of them kind of late
but I can just post the thumbnails on the gram. We'll check it out. You'll have more. You'll have
more traction. I feel like the guest episodes would be like a highlight of as they get to be
one of the Beatles or they get to be they're holding the gun and everyone gets to see him holding
that gun. Yeah. Well one thing people may not realize is when they join the Patreon they're
a part of an army and they're usually like an actual militia. Yeah. A militia of comedy like a
literal and actually yeah like one that like one that is in the south and has a bunker. We have an
objective. Big Beard. Manifesto. Yeah. Hierarchy. You know it's women are so dumb they can't even
make a woman a festo. Only men can do that. I don't know if we condone that. I think women are
actually just better at keeping their plans secret. I've never seen a woman a festo in my whole life.
Exactly. You think that means it doesn't exist. Yeah. It's probably in the back of their head.
Yeah. They're high in mind. You guys ever see like women have a bunch of passive aggressive things
it's like they have a huge area in their brain for passive aggressive things to bring out and
for comebacks to people and they still don't use 90 percent of it. Yeah. And well then they say
they say stuff like months later as a comeback. That's awesome. Woman brain is a disease
for men if men have it. If you're lucky. Yeah. We have we actually have a friend who has it.
I think women are stoke as hell. Stoic. Yeah. Mostly the cucks. Women actually are cucks
so a lot of the time they're not as jealous and they're just like don't I think they're so used
to guys being into multiple women that they're just like way more stoic about what you think.
I don't think most women. Yeah. I think most women are definitely more jealous and just all the all
the emotions. You ever think it's weird when you see a homeless person with the shopping cart
and I'm thinking what are you how can you buy anything. Yeah. Right. Would you buy. Yeah. What
were you shopping for. And it's like a single boot. I was called a cop. So I say someone has
a stolen shopping cart. He had built that. Yeah. Well they're only 25 cents at all. Do
pretty good deal. I got I love that. I love the barber shop I go to. It's like 30
barbers. They're all definitely illegal immigrants but I'm not going to tell Tom
Holman about it because I want to get my haircuts there. That's where you got lined up.
Yeah. That's where I got lined up. It's 25 bucks. They do beer in the hair and calling me.
They call me machete. But what's going to happen. Hopefully they don't have any
for right now they're doing the sweep of the worst worst first. So they're getting the
murders and the rapists out first. But but if you're an illegal immigrant around one of them
you get arrested as collateral. So I hope that there's not a bad guy in there. And it's just
like it sucks if they are really good. They gave that life up and now they're just a good barber.
They might be able to give you a fade. Yeah. I mean eventually they're going to get the
fade. Yeah. They're placing it close it down. So I'll go back to sports clips where they have legal
immigrants. Yeah. But it's like an intern. No that. Well the one I go to they have like Mexican moms.
They have that like mom feeling. I like them like more than more than my mom. But they have mamacitas
there. Yeah. They're so caring. Yeah. There's this one lady who just understood how my head was
shaped and she somehow magically gave me a good haircut. Well this is when I was my hair was
already gone. Take a golf ball. She knows. Yeah. That's like she still was able to just use the
shape of it and create optical illusions. You ever go to the barber and then they just like do like
one buzz. All right. You're good. Or they just say they just do this. But like this was just confused.
They just rub after shave on your head. All right. You're done. They just start with the like massage
thing at the end or whatever. You're right. Yes. I do. I do. Shampoo. I put an after shave first.
And after the big pre shave.
The big pre shave. How about that? Someone needs to check on our guests right now.
Um hold on. I got I got I got a good idea. Good prank. Yeah. We call ice on let's see
Ken Flora. No not Ken. Do it on like a Ken copy kit. Oh no. Oh you know how I kind of want to get out
of here. He's he's a Mexican guy. He's comic kind of short. His Edgar haircut.
He's on the scene a decent amount. He's been around for a while.
No not no not no egg and zels. Yeah. He looks like the plant Edgar.
No we should call someone as a prank but our phones are being used and people don't pick up
our calls anyway. Yeah they do. No they don't usually. Well John Hickok doesn't because he
knows he's when it's said right. He doesn't want to be a guest to speak. Then he won't pick up.
He'll pick up Harold's call probably. Exactly. We need to use Harold as a Trojan horse. Hark the
Herald. Angel sing. What is that? Hark the Herald. Angel sing. Is that from church? Glory to the
newborn king. Yeah it's a Christmas church song. What do you like more church or state?
You know I like them combined together most. Oh really? Yeah you shouldn't separate them. It
should be like kind of like it's just like Iran where church is the state. I just didn't think
it made sense. Yeah maybe our country was run by literal demons for a while. Maybe you do need to
bring back some Christian values but then I think I don't know combining church and state seems
like not a good idea. Well it's not combining literal stuff like that. It kind of is. But
then it's also most of our laws and ideas are just I mean based on religion across the board.
I heard it was like religious freedom was like what we wanted or part of. But then I also heard
that is it true that it was like right when like Britain like outlawed slavery that's when we were
like no we need to be independent now. Yikes. No. Sing another church song. Here I am Lord.
Is it I Lord? What about Earthraids Citizenship? Lord the Singer. I made a song about it was
something that had to do with California fires for sure. It was really good it was in our text
message. Yeah we do voice memos back and forth. It was I think that if you're Mexican you should
be a citizen. And we're gonna drill oil. It's a golden age. Something like that.
And then Adele is or this is Gavin Gruesome as Adele and he's like and I set fire to L.A.
I watched it burn up the palisades and they and it burned and I laughed and they cried and I'm gay.
See it's like that's the gay part of me as I say like I want to start yelling like Adele.
Where does Gavin Gruesome get all the you know I think he probably had the reservoir filled with
hair gel. I miss hair gel. I mean Gavin Gruesome with that amount of hair gel you gotta have at
least a whole reservoir. In the good old days they used to have the spiky haircut
or I would have my hair spiked shit ton of gel go to school. They're kind of like Tim Pool.
Right Tim Tim Hot Tub. What does that mean? I don't know it's just a different kind of type of pool.
Yeah it's kind of better. Tim Hot Spray. No matter what. Just discredit people just change their name
do another the same thing. Yeah well I'm not going to call you just Tim Pool you know. Yeah
because he's the he's the beanie guy so yeah. I wonder does he have hair you think? No
he just has a Russian influence. Is that a real thing or is that what they just say is it that
what they just say about everybody that's right wing. I think there's like proof of getting money
from some. I highly doubt that. I don't know. It happens to be that anybody that is right wing or
in Trump's orbit happens to be either a rapist or they have Russian influence. I mean there's
got to be some people that just get bought. Yeah yeah for sure but it's mostly by Israel or the
military industrial complex or Big Pharma. Israel would have to pay me so much I don't think they
could. Yeah no I'd go in there like Matt Gates. I don't know if luckily no one will ever need to
buy my opinion. Just kidding I'd take the money for sure. I would I would take I would take all
the lobbies Big Pharma, big military industrial complex count me in. Put me on the put me on the
financial board you know so we can secretly see what we're gonna we're gonna make laws
that affect the financial markets. I'm gonna tell my wife to make the trades. It's tough you have a
family to feed you. You plant. Yeah I got Edgar my plant I got my I got my daughter Ashley I have
the daughter Mary Kate. You want to buy your mama house? In the hills not not in the the hills of
the hills of California. The hills of not in the hills of North Carolina either. What hill? The hill
to die on. I'm gonna buy my mama hill to die on. I think by the time I have enough money to buy my mama
house in the hills she'll probably be like old enough to be dying soon so I'm gonna build her
house to die on a hill to die on on a hill to die on a house on a hill to die on. Maybe cost
of your career but it'd be worth it. Maybe a hill that has eyes. Yeah or ice. Ice ice is out there.
Whenever I we do need to get someone deported as a prank but I don't know who. It's like we can get
Hector from. He might already get deported. Yeah he's gonna. Let's get someone that's not Mexican.
Okay Haitian. Who could pass? Wait wait there's there's a Haitian guy we could probably get
deported I think he's a comic. What about what about Julia Stojanowska do you think she's? No
we're not gonna deport her. She's dealt with enough. What is she? There are some. She's not Russian or Ukrainian right? She's a different one.
She's whatever man she could pull them off. No one gives a shit what Bosnia and Serbia and Herzegovina
is or any of those places. We just love the accent you know. Yeah I am I am from Serbia
and I hate Bosnia and the Bosnians are like I'm from Bosnia and I hate Serbia.
These places and you zoom out and it's like no you're in the same group. Yeah well that's
because people always want to divide and conquer. I just want Trump and Putin to become best friends.
I mean these are on their way. Yeah I want them to. Unlikely friendships are maybe the best. Right
I want to see a video of them holding hands and prancing around. We should make like an AI video of like
Adam and Steve or like Blake and Simpsons. It's too hard to do videos because like I see
I see these cool videos that they get made of like Obama making out with Trump or something
or there's like videos there's a song in the background and these different politicians
are playing musical instruments you press the M2 on X but those are made by like experts.
Then they still have what's what I think of the hands with AI can't make hands right. I don't know.
I think if that's them just pretending to suck. I made a picture of John Bolton crying
because he lost his secret service. Wow.
Is John Bolton the one with the really good the sax? No that's Bill Clinton.
Isn't there like a sax person? Saxophone? I don't think so. I think he's a carpenter. Bolts. He
likes Bolts. He's got a big mustache and Donald Trump always makes fun of him.
Oh folks we got a guest coming in. Huge guest.
Just a time. Oh okay we'll do we'll do plugs and posts. Love you guys. We'll talk to you in a second.
Peace.