1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,840 Hey, folks, welcome to Bad Comedy Podcast. 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,760 Just just getting started. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:09,240 My name is Mac from the Bad Comedy Podcast here with Dylan 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,540 Roof Dahmer from the Bad Comedy Podcast and the coin shortage. 5 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:18,340 Alex Domo Gala Domo Domo Ola Gala. Yeah. 6 00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:23,380 Mrs. Alexandra Alexandria Ocasio 7 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,340 along those lines. Yeah. 8 00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:27,520 So folks, we got it. 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,860 We got a bunch on the docket today. 10 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:35,520 Brian Crow and Donald Trump are the two main topics. 11 00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:39,300 Cha-ching. So I love because those are the topics 12 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,800 you said you wanted to go over when you in their text group, right? 13 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,740 Oh, my God. 14 00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:46,840 But I'm drinking some chardonnay. 15 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,480 Jordan said she don't want to drive six hours to talk about Donald Trump 16 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:51,940 and Brian Crow, and I was like, what the heck? 17 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:54,720 I was in Indiana with my family. 18 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,320 But she would hate a car ride with us. 19 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,620 Yeah, no, we we actually didn't even talk about Brian Crow, really. 20 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,020 Oh, I did. 21 00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:05,320 Do you see my Christmas brand crow I got from my dad? 22 00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:07,400 Yeah, that was nice. 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,600 He gave him a bird kind of Santa bird. 24 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,740 But you know what my dad said? 25 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:13,940 He said, I thought you I thought you'd like this. 26 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,240 Like for some reason, I saw it and I thought you'd like this. 27 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,000 Like for your podcast, maybe like make fun of somebody. 28 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,680 He knows you so well. 29 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,040 He knows what to buy. 30 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,280 I was like, I think that dad listens to every episode. 31 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,420 He's like anything. 32 00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:30,920 I know who Brian Crow is. 33 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:35,700 Really? I mean, he's a sweet guy who has a bit for everything. 34 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,720 Yeah. Yeah. 35 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,700 I need to start. 36 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,460 Well, they'll they'll say he wants to do a podcast with my dad. 37 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,260 I know Albers and my dad. 38 00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:46,100 Yeah. And so you won't do one with your dad. 39 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,840 Shout out to Max Dad. What's up? 40 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,140 Well, that'd be nepotism. 41 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,640 Yeah, it would be actually. 42 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,720 But I feel like remember when I gave you that tool time t shirt 43 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,340 and you regifted it and it kind of it's maybe that's why you didn't get a gift 44 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,520 this year. 45 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,820 Yeah, he's no rebuttal. 46 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,120 It didn't fit. 47 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,320 Oh, no. The mic's falling apart. 48 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,900 I had you rent a guitar for Christmas. 49 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,800 Oh, yeah. So I've been teaching my cats how to play guitar 50 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,660 and really the orange one actually kind of gets it like you'll pot 51 00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:24,940 the strings and try to bite them and any good. 52 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,640 I got a couple of vids of it. 53 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:28,800 You got some good content. 54 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,680 Yeah, that's what I call content. 55 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,340 You know, I was thinking that'd be a cool like like coming of age movie 56 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,720 or a con yeah. 57 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:42,260 Coming of age movie where my cats learn to play guitar and they start a band 58 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,260 and. 59 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:49,000 You know, the cool cats, maybe or or origins 60 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,800 orange Sabbath or something. 61 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:58,140 But yeah, Max having a breakdown right now, he is not ever let me talk 62 00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:00,680 this long uninterrupted before it's. 63 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,520 Yeah, he's no, it's actually hilarious. 64 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,280 What do you want my my short circuit right now? 65 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,580 Because it's usually coming off anyway. 66 00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:15,060 And finally, the fans can hear me talk for a little bit. 67 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:17,660 It's still an hour. 68 00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:20,100 Mm hmm. It's the 69 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:26,200 Dylan and Alex show where Max not allowed no Max allowed. 70 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:31,740 Yeah. So today I'm drinking some Chardonnay. 71 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:36,700 I bought it because it says Kendall Jackson and I like. 72 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:40,240 Dude, you're like down that whole fucking glass. 73 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:44,380 Holy shit. Yeah, I gave Mac a little bit in exchange for a shot. 74 00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:49,060 I thought he might just generously give me the shot, but then he made me 75 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,460 exchange it for some of my wine and I don't have that much. 76 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,400 And I don't have that much left anymore, but 77 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,600 thankfully, I started buying wine because it's thirteen point five percent, 78 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:07,540 which rounds up, and that's just about how Mac is about thirteen percent Jewish. 79 00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:11,380 So I feel like that's a good percentage for bad luck. 80 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,940 But you know, shout out to Max mom. 81 00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:18,380 She's the only reason that his tick tock ever did anything. 82 00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:22,460 And shout out to Max dad, who got the biggest laugh in our live show. 83 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:26,460 So we're kind of living in Max parents shadows. 84 00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:30,160 But yeah, and your brother. 85 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,100 You know, yeah, his hot brother, a model. 86 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,860 Yeah. Oh, now we're all not. 87 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:38,800 But Mac was a child model and he got 88 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,760 molested basically. 89 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,660 And so that's how he got into comedy. 90 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:46,500 He needed to distance himself and repress the memory. 91 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,200 Correction. I got Celeste. 92 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:52,540 OK, first of all, second of all, I've been doing comedy for 31 years. 93 00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:55,740 So I did that when I started doing comedy when I got Celeste. 94 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,520 It's been doing improv for 31 years. 95 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,780 Yeah, I started doing it because I watched Bo Burnham inside in college. 96 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,580 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 97 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:07,760 I think the worst way to start comedy. Yeah. 98 00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:11,300 No, I was a big Louis CK fan 99 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,200 and I was I was always the funny guy around, you know. 100 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,440 Yeah, but put Louie on a piano. See what happens. 101 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,800 Yeah, I'd watch Louie and then Anthony Jeselnik, which I now hate. 102 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,340 No, I just put up on my note yesterday. 103 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,600 Jeselnik is cringe. 104 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,340 And then Jessica Misatano said, fuck you. 105 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:32,480 Oh, and I was supposed to block her next time. 106 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,780 She was mean to me and I forgot block her. 107 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,120 But she's still on her final warning. 108 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,920 I mean, he is kind of cringe. Yeah. Yeah. 109 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,120 And but then she said he's a gem and I just went off. 110 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,700 I mean, he used to be and then he fell off. 111 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,300 He fell off. And that's fine. 112 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:50,560 We all thought however, he's a comedian for non comedians. Right. 113 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,100 He's a jack in the box comedian. 114 00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:58,400 And every joke is a like is set up that's not offensive. 115 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,880 And then he's like, whoops, it's offensive. 116 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,320 It's like we all know the format of it. 117 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,040 It's just not funny at some point. 118 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,780 I just think he used to he definitely used to be better. 119 00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:10,480 He was like it was more fresh. 120 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:16,560 But then now it's just every joke is a minute long for one laugh. 121 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,300 There's space in between. 122 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:20,720 He's like, yeah. 123 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,240 And then he still thinks he has this greatness. 124 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,360 And I just think. 125 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,400 No. Well, I was listening to like his podcast 126 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,400 and that he does with like his football friend. 127 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,780 And he was like, yeah, I just like ran out of jokes. 128 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:34,320 Like I'm serious. 129 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,740 That was like three years ago. So yeah. 130 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:39,680 We still the same like we used to do this. 131 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,760 Anthony Jezalmack segment. 132 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,860 Mm hmm. How easy it is. 133 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,820 So here I'll do one. 134 00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,000 It's a jack of the box joke. 135 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,100 So I took I took my daughter, 136 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,600 you know, swimming in the pool 137 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,240 because that's what good dads do. 138 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,440 And we went in the pool and. 139 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,500 She drowned. 140 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,740 OK, that's like an answer. 141 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:13,260 Or like, yeah, I was I was smoking a cigarette 142 00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:15,460 outside of the show. 143 00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,760 The other day. 144 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,560 No, you wouldn't say that. Sorry. Yeah. 145 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,660 If he did, it would add some. 146 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,000 No, that's too much flavor. 147 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,760 It would make it better. Yeah. 148 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:26,500 But so smoking a cigarette outside of a show and 149 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,900 someone walked up to me and said, 150 00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,640 are you Anthony Jezalmack? 151 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,500 And I said, I'm Anthony. 152 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,380 I'll fuck your neck. 153 00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,480 I'll kill you. Then I killed and I killed him. 154 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,520 In his neck. 155 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,720 That's OK. That's actually really funny. 156 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,420 Like if I would say that, 157 00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:47,460 it probably wouldn't get a laugh. 158 00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:50,220 Like people would probably just like yell at me. 159 00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:53,660 You have a good how that Holocaust 160 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:56,360 or that Nazi Germany one. 161 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,560 I was like, I went to Nazi Germany. 162 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,940 And we go to the voice. 163 00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:04,240 I think that Nazi Germany was like the punchline. 164 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,500 So it's not going to work. 165 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,700 I think it was like. 166 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,880 I think I know what it is. It's. 167 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,680 The Jewish guy walks into walks into a bar 168 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,380 and it was in Auschwitz. 169 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,260 It turns out it was it was 1940s Germany 170 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,420 and then they took them. 171 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,420 They killed them. 172 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,260 That was pretty good. 173 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,660 That's that's that's a joke formulation. 174 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,360 Someone's screaming. 175 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,800 Yes, someone is dying. 176 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,540 I think it's because we're doing just I did. 177 00:08:37,540 --> 00:08:40,700 I did kidnap Michael Robinson because I hate him now. 178 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,340 I he's hogtied in. 179 00:08:43,340 --> 00:08:44,840 My closet. 180 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,140 Oh, no, he sounds like a baby. 181 00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:49,380 Yeah, that's your baby like neighbor. 182 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,880 Oh, these kids scream. 183 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,280 No, we should we should. 184 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,520 Folks, maybe you can hear it, but we should listen 185 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,260 to just in case something's happening. Yeah. 186 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,300 Well, like Jesus, right? 187 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,460 I mean, nothing. 188 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,000 What a interesting. 189 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,300 Yeah, there's a baby crying in the background. 190 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:10,240 Now, the babies, baby, just those kids scream. 191 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,000 They're not even like that young enough to be able to scream 192 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,700 as much as they do. They need some. 193 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,480 We need like zones for babies to like cry. 194 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,440 Yeah, I don't want more boxes. 195 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:20,640 I don't want. Yeah. 196 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,640 They need to discipline those kids. 197 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,280 Oh, yeah. I do. 198 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,280 I go to a diner. 199 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,220 There's a fucking baby crying near me. 200 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,220 I go to a bowling alley. There's a baby crying. 201 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,760 Why are you taking your fucking baby bowling? 202 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,060 They're not going to remember that. 203 00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:36,900 Next time you see that you're not both have an idea. 204 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:40,700 Next time you see that, grab the baby, bowl the baby down the lane. 205 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,040 No, I literally I'm like, I. 206 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,540 OK, you like babies. 207 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:49,140 I was like on a date, but seriously, if I wasn't, I would. 208 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:54,640 I would have like turned the mom and went, hey. What are you doing? 209 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,780 What are you doing? 210 00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:59,920 Like you're having a bowling moment with your with your with your toddler, 211 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,780 your three year old brain. 212 00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,060 It's like, what do you get a babysitter create a job? 213 00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:07,560 Maybe you maybe take someone bowling who's going to remember it like me. 214 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,160 Why don't you leave your baby? 215 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,660 I'll be to see your baby. 216 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:12,800 It'll be the most safe baby ever. I have a gun. 217 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,260 Your little baby fucking bowling. 218 00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:18,460 It's loud. It's disgusting bowling for soup. 219 00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:22,560 That you have a little gutter lane covers just to. 220 00:10:23,260 --> 00:10:24,540 It's like a participation. 221 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,260 I actually kept a participation trophy from bowling 222 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,740 for my whole life. I still have it. 223 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,720 So maybe it's actually positive because for a while I didn't have anything. 224 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:40,120 And then I still have my bowling trophy and add my soccer trophy. 225 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:45,820 My coaches made sure I scored a goal in the last game of the season. 226 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:49,620 And it was like an uppity fucking high school. 227 00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:51,620 I got I got I got a ribbon. 228 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,900 In chess, I got a ribbon. I got a ribbon. 229 00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,800 I'm from up north where people. 230 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,100 I want a ribbon. I didn't win a trophy. 231 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:01,100 Was it a participation trophy? 232 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:04,240 It was like, yeah, it was like 20th, 50th place or so. 233 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,340 Mac buys participants. 234 00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:10,100 I think I think I think I made it past the first round in the tournament. 235 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,840 All right. Yeah. 236 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,920 So what's your favorite kind of trophy participation, 237 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,020 masturbation, wife, wife. 238 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:26,160 I remember telling my coach, I don't need to score a goal, man. 239 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,860 This is this is a waste of time. 240 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:31,360 Let's let's pass it to Kasey who's a kickboxer. 241 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,540 He's going to score more goals for our team. Right. I know ego. 242 00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:39,700 And then he taught me to have an ego because I scored a goal. 243 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,540 And are you sure he wasn't a ego salesman? 244 00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:43,680 He's going to sell you waffles. 245 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,920 And he's you need to have some egos. 246 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,240 And you kind of took it the wrong way. 247 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,920 I'm saying I need some more egos. 248 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,580 Let's pass it to the kids. 249 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,460 And that's I bet the other people in the team were trying to steal it 250 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:57,360 for the from you and you're like, let go my ego. 251 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,460 That was my greatest skill in sports. 252 00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:02,700 What does that even mean? Let go my ego. 253 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,460 That was their motto. 254 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,600 Yeah. But what does that even mean? 255 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,100 It's like, let go of my ego. 256 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,100 Oh, let go. OK. 257 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,740 People are so good, people are trying to steal from you. 258 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:15,600 And that's what they actually do. 259 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,840 Pause off my they legalize that in California for a while, 260 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,180 stealing egos out of people's hands. 261 00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:24,220 They still don't. Yeah. Yeah. 262 00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:25,720 Up to a thousand dollars. 263 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,380 Legalize it. 264 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,860 Yeah. California is a utopia. 265 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,120 Bob Marley was talking about this. 266 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,700 He was talking about some saying legalize it was legalizing 267 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,300 stealing egos from other people. 268 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:42,040 He was like, yeah, legalize it. 269 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:47,800 A steal the ego when they let go of their ego. 270 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:53,080 Did you see that open mic comic who they said that he's been stealing from places 271 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:57,580 and which one there is like in the comedy, like scene page? 272 00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,680 There's like five of them. 273 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,060 The Chicago one. 274 00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:02,180 It was like the new one. 275 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,860 The new one. They're saying that there's this guy who is 276 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,920 apparently he went to the mall or something in like he 277 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,840 he stole two big coolers. 278 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,580 He steals from Dick Sporting Goods is his main target. 279 00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:15,480 Oh, that rules. 280 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,480 And he like he would send the coolers down the elevator 281 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,320 and then he would ride the escalator down. 282 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:22,720 You'd fill the cooler with stuff because I think he's tried to take him 283 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,100 down the escalator before. 284 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,460 But then it's yeah, he was just stealing stuff. 285 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:29,760 And it said that he'd fill the cooler. 286 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,600 No, it was just just the coolers. 287 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:36,200 But there were three hundred dollars and they apparently don't go after people 288 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,380 for theft under a thousand right now. 289 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:40,640 They change that. I'm like, damn, you shouldn't publish that 290 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,880 because now I'm going to go steal anything under a thousand. 291 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,380 You just walk out the store and they don't do anything. 292 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:48,420 I know. Which is crazy to tell. 293 00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:49,980 Was it California? 294 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,420 No, that was Chicago. 295 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:52,360 Chicago. 296 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,260 Or it's supposed to be 300. 297 00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,500 But still, do we still have that in Chicago? 298 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:57,820 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 299 00:13:57,820 --> 00:14:03,200 Because California with during the general vote, they voted that rule to end 300 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:07,200 where you can because you can't small businesses can't survive 301 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,400 if people can just steal up to that, which is a good thing. 302 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,840 I say anarchy. Yeah. 303 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,580 I don't I'm not fan of rules. 304 00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:15,440 I like Xanarky. 305 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,320 That's all Xan's rep group. 306 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,720 Yeah. The other day, I look like the guy. 307 00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:23,820 So kind of imploding right now. 308 00:14:23,820 --> 00:14:27,920 I think that's maybe Blake Burkhart can work that into his act. 309 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:31,960 He'll say, I looked like the guy the other day. 310 00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,300 That guy needs to save face right now. 311 00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,860 Let's just keep it at that. 312 00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:41,140 Yeah. After we after I exposed the secret again. 313 00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:45,100 Yeah. This fake secret has been well, it's been under wraps for years. 314 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,940 He thought it was gone. Nope. 315 00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:49,940 Part of anarchy is you create rumors about people. 316 00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:56,180 I saw Jolly Bean sinking threes after, you know, just three after three. 317 00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:57,820 She was taking half court shots. 318 00:14:57,820 --> 00:14:59,480 She made a bunch of them. 319 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:04,360 I didn't know that she was a basketball virtuoso. 320 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,000 When did you play basketball with Jolly Bean? 321 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,100 I saw her at the park. 322 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,660 Is she like, is she like Yao Ming? 323 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,640 The Bebop Park. Mm hmm. 324 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,200 What the heck? 325 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,600 Does she does she does she carry jelly beans with her? 326 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,440 I was wondering that. 327 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:22,580 I think that she was recharging with jelly beans on the sidelines 328 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,640 because I saw her take a few too many breaks. 329 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,980 Honestly, I was like, why even here? 330 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:31,220 If you're going to sit out this much and just shove this candy down your mouth. 331 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,560 Yeah. She was sinking. 332 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,920 You know, she got picked first every time and wow. 333 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,320 I was just kind of watching. 334 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,800 She dunk. I didn't see her dunk. 335 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,460 No, but she also I don't think she was really interested in it. 336 00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:47,700 She was like, oh, she's like a sniper. 337 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:50,700 Yeah. Like she doesn't even have to. 338 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,200 Everyone else is always always does threes. 339 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:57,180 I respect that. If that I mean, whenever I play basketball, 340 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,720 when I played basketball in middle school, I would only do threes 341 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:06,560 and I in one in one game, I air all of them. 342 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:11,400 Well, I would make in one game, I got a lot of three pointers. 343 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:15,060 Oh, like people gave you pointers in my career. 344 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:19,400 I got more three pointers than two pointers, but I also got a lot of bench time. 345 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,100 I got a lot of four pointers. 346 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,640 This again, that's what Jolly Beans should give. 347 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,240 But they they banned it, which I thought was systemic racism. 348 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,620 But then I was a kid, I was just like, hey, pass. 349 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:34,920 I was pointing to other kids. 350 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,480 Pass to him, pass to him. Don't pass to me. 351 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,620 I was like a coach on on the court. 352 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:41,920 I don't pass the ball much. 353 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,420 A lot of people like a lot of people call me a ball hog. 354 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:47,460 Yeah. See, I know ego like that. 355 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:49,060 Yeah. So we would be great teammates. 356 00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:51,500 I'll be feeding you the rock. Yeah. Yeah. 357 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,200 I did. I did. 358 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,300 Will Ferrell and John Sear in 359 00:16:56,300 --> 00:17:00,800 in a really talladega nights when it's like maybe I can do the shaking big. 360 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,580 Yeah. Well, if I win, you can't win. 361 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:06,020 Where is it? Yeah, I did. 362 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:09,020 I did see Jolly Bean like in Chinatown. 363 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,360 Oh, yeah. It's like I'm not trying like that. 364 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,560 I'm being serious. I saw her better be a true. 365 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:19,820 No, I saw her in Chinatown in a Chinese restaurant. 366 00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,560 I went there after like a film school shoot. 367 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,460 Bullshit thing. 368 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:26,700 It'd be funny if she was in a Chinese jelly bean candy. 369 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:29,240 No, she was sitting she was sitting there for pickup. 370 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,700 And I turn to her and I'm like, I need more Asian people in my movie. 371 00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:38,740 And it's fine because the guy was working with me is Chinese. 372 00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:41,580 Which is why did you go to Chinatown? 373 00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,340 She was sitting there for what? 374 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:45,020 She was asked. She was just sitting there for. 375 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,620 Yeah. Oh, no. 376 00:17:46,620 --> 00:17:47,720 They basketball. 377 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,120 Did you go to China to find an Asian person? 378 00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,220 No, what is? 379 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:54,600 That's a good comment. 380 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,600 That's a good angle to find a black guy. 381 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,400 Wait, is there an actual thing where you go to find people for? 382 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,260 No, no, no. What is pickup actually? 383 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:06,000 You can go to Portage Park and find a Polish person. 384 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,680 We would make the best basketball team. 385 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,380 I got a lot of Polish farts there. 386 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,840 Well, I know I like this. My favorite is first generation. 387 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,820 It's like a fucking eight twenty four horror movie. 388 00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:19,180 They they I love that they yell and I I at first I thought they were rude. 389 00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:22,820 But then I realized that that's just kind of their form of communication. 390 00:18:22,820 --> 00:18:25,020 So I kind of yell back and they respected me. 391 00:18:25,620 --> 00:18:27,660 OK, I told you it was a weird thing. 392 00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:30,360 It's weird thing with that culture where it's different than like. 393 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,040 Or maybe they just like didn't understand you because none of them know English. 394 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,700 No, they would. They said they had the vaccines. 395 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:36,540 They knew English. 396 00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:40,300 But with with most of my Polish customers, when I yelled back, 397 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,640 it didn't escalate it more. 398 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,980 They're like, oh, this guy, this guy's cool. 399 00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:47,540 But with any other culture, it would escalate it a lot. 400 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,880 If I raise my voice. 401 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,580 Mm hmm. I can see that being escalation. 402 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:57,580 It's like a classic Karen technique escalation. 403 00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:58,460 No breathing. 404 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:01,280 Have you guys ever been to the picnic digital food court? 405 00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:04,660 What the heck? No digital food court. 406 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:09,360 Yeah. So last night was the Wrigley Field area. 407 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,840 Yeah. Yeah. It's like Avondale. 408 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,960 Oh, it's an Avondale. Avondale. 409 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,840 I was joking. It was just like that park outside of Wrigley Field. 410 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:21,480 OK, we should like raise our hands if we're joking when we're joking. 411 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,380 So I know for my little special brain, because I'm special. 412 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,320 What if I told you that wasn't Jolly Bean? 413 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:29,920 Who was it? 414 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:31,420 Who knows? 415 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:36,720 Adam, if I told you the whole time that that wasn't Jolly Bean, 416 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,500 it was Michael Jordan. 417 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,900 It's really quickly. 418 00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:43,060 They look alike. Yeah, they do. 419 00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:48,100 Yeah. But no, we like to blend reality and reality together. 420 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,040 Like the Joker's real. 421 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,440 But then what about Asian Joker? Yeah. 422 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,540 He's like rice. So Siri Rice. 423 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,580 But yeah, you want to know how I got this rice? 424 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,620 OK. 425 00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:06,480 Looking mean, dude. 426 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,380 Dale said that that was a good one. Yeah. 427 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,060 Was. No. 428 00:20:11,060 --> 00:20:11,800 Yeah. What does he know? 429 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,360 What is one of the funniest comics in Chicago? 430 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,860 No, I don't know. 431 00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:17,960 One of the skinniest comics to it. 432 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,340 Yeah. It's like. 433 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,640 Blake looks like him. 434 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,600 Yeah, Blake is skinny. 435 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,000 Yeah. Right. 436 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,240 The Chippendale Blakendale. 437 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,680 Yeah, we can. 438 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,220 They just need fedoras and they'll be like a 1920s like comedy duo. 439 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:38,020 And Blake, they'll slip on bananas and shit and drink a lot. 440 00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:41,520 And I can picture the picture of the cartoon versions of them. 441 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,820 I mean, Dale, he could definitely be like a like a gofer. 442 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,500 I go for. Yeah. Go for mobster. 443 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:52,240 He'd be the guy that you go visit who's at the Italian restaurant. 444 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,240 And yeah, in the in the corner booth. 445 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,240 He was with us. 446 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,040 Do you know what was that? 447 00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:02,440 It was like some about Jordan or something. 448 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,740 Joe Bananas is in it. 449 00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:06,180 It's called like some like about Michael Jordan. 450 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:09,480 Yeah. And that there was a bookie in it, which is perfect for Dale. 451 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,680 He's like, you owe me money. 452 00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:14,620 I'm going to break your fingers. 453 00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:17,720 I still think they should have put him as the penguin in the 454 00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:21,500 guys look up Dale McPeak and let me know if 455 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:27,140 it would have been a wiser decision for the DC people to have. 456 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:31,900 Dale probably pay him $100 an episode versus Colin Farrell. 457 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:33,080 Yeah, no makeup. 458 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,880 But I feel like he would be interested in a digital food court. 459 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,440 What is that? Is that the Sims? 460 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,680 Oh, I like forgot I was literally even talking about that. Yeah. 461 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,780 I don't know if you're pissed off to you guys. 462 00:21:44,780 --> 00:21:46,680 So yeah, sorry, we kind of got off track. 463 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,220 No, I'm zoning out. 464 00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:50,460 Let's get back on track in Avondale. 465 00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:53,520 I'm always hungover and I'm on my period. 466 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,260 Yummy comedy. 467 00:21:58,260 --> 00:21:59,860 Anthony Jezelnik. 468 00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,760 Yeah. Or like Amy Schumer. 469 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,060 Anthony just jizzes. 470 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,700 I was watching the Simpsons. 471 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:08,160 It was it was born. 472 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,240 I think I I'm almost positive. 473 00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:13,540 I rented a car to Anthony Jezelnik's dad 474 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,800 because his name was Anthony Jezelnik. 475 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,740 And so I think I think I got to look it up. 476 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:23,540 But I think he's a junior and he was from. 477 00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:28,620 I think it was 478 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,280 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, whatever, whatever city. 479 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,760 He does like was from probably New Hampshire. 480 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,520 No, no, it's in Pennsylvania. 481 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,420 So it was it was like I think it's Philadelphia. 482 00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:43,360 And he was from Philadelphia's Anthony Jezelnik. 483 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,840 And I was too scared to ask him. I should have asked him. 484 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,000 And he said, yeah, I get that a lot. Thanks. 485 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,340 Yeah. So I get a lot. 486 00:22:49,340 --> 00:22:51,980 He said, yeah, he's saying my jokes. 487 00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:54,200 I'll say my sounds crazy. Yeah. 488 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,740 He's a wild, wild, wild boy. 489 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,180 Just told me that he's bisexual, actually, which I didn't know. 490 00:23:00,220 --> 00:23:02,020 Yeah. Well, let's wait. 491 00:23:02,020 --> 00:23:03,220 Who? What? 492 00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:07,120 Just Mr. Tonno said that Anthony Jezelnik is bisexual. 493 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,920 I argue that I don't think so. 494 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,220 I would argue that all women are. 495 00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:13,500 You can't say is not. 496 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,900 I think I am. I guess. 497 00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:19,660 I think all women are bisexual, like to some extent, one or another. 498 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,140 And he did. He would say all men are bisexual. 499 00:23:23,340 --> 00:23:24,300 Oh, yeah, for sure. 500 00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:26,040 If you wake up and he's 501 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,280 everyone can be bisexual, but not everyone is. 502 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,440 Every girl, everyone can. 503 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:32,620 That's not true. 504 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:35,220 I know I'm the straightest woman on the block. 505 00:23:35,220 --> 00:23:36,720 I've seen. I've seen. I've seen a lot. 506 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,160 Yeah, I'm so straight. 507 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,820 I've seen a lot more straight girls kiss or make out than 508 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,160 than straight men. 509 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,500 Well, yeah, but it's like because of spectacle. 510 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,100 Yeah. Yeah. 511 00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:49,660 It's a pick me girl tactic. 512 00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:52,040 Yeah, yeah. It's because of hyper reality. 513 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:53,640 It's because of. 514 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,540 I'm such a. Yeah. 515 00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:57,580 Men are men are stuck in the Hillary. 516 00:23:57,580 --> 00:23:59,580 No, it's because men are stuck in this 517 00:23:59,580 --> 00:24:03,800 this prison that you guys put us in where we can't express ourselves 518 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,560 when making out with our friends. 519 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,760 You can you can make out. 520 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,200 No, that's gay. 521 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,060 That's gay, but it's not it's not lesbian. 522 00:24:11,060 --> 00:24:12,100 If women do it. 523 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:13,500 Why is it not lesbian? 524 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:14,840 It's not. It's just hot. 525 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,740 Well, how? 526 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,400 It's not it's not Brad. 527 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,700 Well, it's not. 528 00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:22,480 It's it's that's that's very 2023 of you. 529 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,220 Wow. Oh, my God. 530 00:24:24,220 --> 00:24:25,240 Women make. 531 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,580 Where's that's not twenty twenty three women. 532 00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:29,940 You could call me old. 533 00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:32,120 But I'm fucking that was this summer. 534 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,680 I am old. 535 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,020 I just got to watch women making. 536 00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:38,860 I got to watch the most classic, like hot thing. 537 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,260 This thing, what is it? 538 00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:44,200 I think there's a we're going to rate what's 539 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:47,200 the hottest things on the block right now or. 540 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,560 Yeah. Number one. 541 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,500 Oh, sorry. 542 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,840 That's Alex Jones. 543 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:56,840 That's basically it. 544 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,680 Oh, I can't hear. 545 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,980 No, then what else? 546 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,680 And then girls making me mean 547 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,680 Elon Musk when he gets his robot body. 548 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,560 Might be most improved, I guess. 549 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,560 But. Right. 550 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:16,820 Bad things. 551 00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:19,060 People say bad things about him. 552 00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,660 Apparently. Yeah. 553 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:23,660 Elon Musk is, I guess, talking about taking a zempik 554 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,100 he's getting too chubby. 555 00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:27,200 Doesn't want to be so funny. 556 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:32,280 Well, what I think you should do and apparently this other tech guy 557 00:25:33,340 --> 00:25:36,880 Marc Andreessen, he's been saying that Elon's been working on 558 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,340 like an Iron Man suit. 559 00:25:38,340 --> 00:25:38,740 Yeah. 560 00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:40,820 That the thing like a actual effective one. 561 00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:43,560 So I think that Elon is just going to get a robot body 562 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,060 and just make it a hot body. 563 00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:48,820 But do you think every rich person is going to do that? 564 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,020 Well, I you know what I think? 565 00:25:51,020 --> 00:25:55,800 I think the best next step for the human race is we all just get our heads 566 00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:01,400 put on robot bodies that cuts away all all of Medicare expenses. 567 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,440 You think they're going to put me on a robot? 568 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:05,180 Well, you have to. 569 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:08,180 I have. And you can pick two legs, spider legs. 570 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,980 He's just trying to get us to do spider legs with them. 571 00:26:12,020 --> 00:26:13,020 Yeah, it's all right. 572 00:26:13,020 --> 00:26:14,540 He doesn't want to be the only one. 573 00:26:14,540 --> 00:26:17,360 If I if I buy him, will you guys get spider legs with me? 574 00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:20,120 If you realize it's not going to make it, 575 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,620 it's not going to work. 576 00:26:21,620 --> 00:26:25,220 No, I mean, you want your crew to be spiders with you, 577 00:26:25,220 --> 00:26:29,100 but we're just going to get ostracized the way you would know. 578 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,400 No, not for all. 579 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,140 Now we roll together when we go out. 580 00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:35,140 No, but it's like that's it, though. 581 00:26:35,140 --> 00:26:36,240 No, but no. 582 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,540 So what's going to be chilling with the spiders at the club? 583 00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:39,340 No, think about it. 584 00:26:39,340 --> 00:26:40,080 I can let us in. 585 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:40,800 Even think about it. 586 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,340 We'll be out and fit through the door. 587 00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:43,480 The squat be embarrassing. 588 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,520 No, you kind of fold them in a little bit when you're working. 589 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,980 Oh, that's eight fold in eight legs. 590 00:26:48,020 --> 00:26:49,040 Yeah. 591 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,680 The technology, this is it's something. 592 00:26:51,980 --> 00:26:53,420 I hope that they have a ramp. 593 00:26:53,420 --> 00:26:57,120 If we if we get a squad with robotic spider legs 594 00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,060 and we're out and about all the time, it becomes a cool thing. 595 00:27:00,060 --> 00:27:02,360 And then and then later on, when you're on your own, they're like, 596 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,560 oh, shit, you're one of those spider legs. 597 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,800 I actually have nine legs. 598 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,740 That's what I would be my line. 599 00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:11,000 And then you just have a robot. 600 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,800 Yeah, but then I would just trip on stuff all the time with one of my legs. 601 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,300 And it's like, oh, yeah. 602 00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:19,780 But now you're like introducing people becoming animals. 603 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,580 And that's kind of like furry shit. 604 00:27:22,580 --> 00:27:24,540 It's kind of gross. Yeah. 605 00:27:24,540 --> 00:27:25,780 But people becoming animals. 606 00:27:25,780 --> 00:27:28,280 No, it's like people are animals. 607 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,480 Well, yeah, yeah. 608 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:31,520 But like, you know what I'm trying to say? 609 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,360 And then we're going to like normalize bestiality. 610 00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:35,660 No, no. 611 00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:37,360 Going to go down that route. 612 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:40,320 No, not be a consent for a spider. Right. 613 00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:44,800 No, it would be more normalizing having sex with spider robots. 614 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,680 Yeah. So it's well, how could you tell them apart? 615 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,540 Like, you can't tell them like interlinked. 616 00:27:50,540 --> 00:27:52,080 They can't do the test. 617 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,180 How am I going to the better the robot looks more like a spider? 618 00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:56,580 So you can't tell. 619 00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:59,080 There's no spider big enough for me to have sex with. 620 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,720 No, no real spider. 621 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,120 What's small enough? 622 00:28:02,820 --> 00:28:04,820 Would you tarantula? 623 00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:06,560 I can't say the tarantula. 624 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,200 Tarantula sexual. 625 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:09,800 I can't. I can't even. 626 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,960 I think so, but I came in a sex with the elephant. 627 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,160 Yeah, no, that's why you want the spider legs. 628 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,500 You just want a lady with spider legs. 629 00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:21,340 I am looking for a beautiful queen, a beautiful. 630 00:28:22,340 --> 00:28:26,840 Like, would they be like robot legs or would they be like actual legs? 631 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:31,120 So you still have your arms and stuff, but then you have mechanical spider legs 632 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:34,760 that come out and you roll around like this with your squad. 633 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,160 And it's like, we're the bad guys. 634 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,620 Yeah, it's like we're the bad boys. 635 00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:41,520 Like, oh, shit, it's the spiders. 636 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,300 We're spiders. It's the it's a spider. 637 00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:46,200 Just kind of dark. 638 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,060 And at first, people will be weirded out about it, 639 00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:50,960 but then it'll be cool as shit because they're super expensive. 640 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,900 But yeah, I got this at so edgy. 641 00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,900 Like one of those one wheel things. 642 00:28:55,900 --> 00:28:58,340 Well, but is it permanent? Like a unicycle? 643 00:28:58,340 --> 00:29:02,140 Yeah, like an electric unicycle that I know it's not like, no, dude. 644 00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:03,620 Every time I see someone 645 00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:06,080 like riding one of those things, I want to just run them fucking over. 646 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,280 Unison. If I was that way, you're talking shit about unicycles. 647 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,680 I'm talking about electric unicycles. 648 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,720 I'm talking about one of those one wheel things. 649 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:17,060 My dad, my dad, it likes riding unicycles. 650 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:18,200 He's good at it, too. 651 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,220 Of course he does. Oh, my God. 652 00:29:19,220 --> 00:29:20,900 This is why you hate liberals. 653 00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:23,860 But then it's like you want to turn the you like you want to make it attain 654 00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:25,640 because they ride unicycles. 655 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,100 No, I mean, my dad also he rolled late. 656 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,300 I think also skin a buck and run a truck line. 657 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,080 He's a country boy. Can't survive. Oh, OK. 658 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,580 Is there lyrics? Is he like, oh, yeah, there are lyrics. 659 00:29:38,580 --> 00:29:40,340 No, but he grew up on a farm. 660 00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:42,820 I literally I listen to only instrumental music. 661 00:29:43,180 --> 00:29:45,220 Mm hmm. Yeah, I literally don't know. 662 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,420 Your opposite. You know, the. 663 00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:50,020 I didn't even hear the music. 664 00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:53,100 The human voice is the best instrument. 665 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,060 He's just like, well, yeah. 666 00:29:56,060 --> 00:30:00,600 Yes. But sometimes I don't want to hear people talk. Period. 667 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,100 Or a cappella. 668 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:03,900 What about that? 669 00:30:03,900 --> 00:30:07,800 How is fucking garbage or kind of a barbershop quartet? 670 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,200 I'm not just saying that because I didn't get in. 671 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,040 You didn't get in. 672 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,080 I like school. Really? 673 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:18,340 Oh, you're that is an elite group to get in only four or five people. 674 00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:21,320 Sprite sprite alert sprite full alert. Yeah. 675 00:30:22,180 --> 00:30:24,020 Do you mean the sprite club? 676 00:30:24,020 --> 00:30:25,280 Yeah, you got a thing full of sprite. 677 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:25,720 You're being pretty. 678 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,720 Sprite. You're being pretty spriteful. 679 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,960 Yeah. No, it's. Oh, no. 680 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,360 I can't imagine how bad as the barbershop quartet was walking through the halls. 681 00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:37,460 That's what we envision for the spider legs. 682 00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:40,020 So art is like there's only four of us and. 683 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,200 Yeah, some people wish they could be us. 684 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:46,000 Yeah, you can't be in the barbershop quartet because you have to buy. 685 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,500 These are expensive legs. 686 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:51,060 But then if they start singing, you know, but then the visuals away, 687 00:30:51,060 --> 00:30:54,600 if they start making fun of us, we'll kick them with our robot legs. 688 00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:56,300 Some of that. 689 00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:57,740 And then, yeah, it's like, oh, shit. 690 00:30:57,740 --> 00:31:01,280 And then you thought of us like, like, what about right? 691 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,940 I'll also be like boom, boom, boom, boom. 692 00:31:03,940 --> 00:31:09,780 And one would be like, hey, that's that's an image. 693 00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:11,680 But like, good. 694 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,920 OK, if you go to the TSA, if you go through the TSA, 695 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,000 could you would you be all right? 696 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,560 They'll say that's sick. Let them through. 697 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,360 But we don't I don't even know if you go to other countries, then. 698 00:31:24,660 --> 00:31:26,040 You want to be going out there? 699 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:26,960 Hey, you would. 700 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,840 I mean, I'd other countries would marvel at it. 701 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,340 Then you got to think about spider diseases and. 702 00:31:32,340 --> 00:31:36,880 No, but it won't be, you know, but you won't have the spider DNA. 703 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,740 You just have to. It's just is eight legs. 704 00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:40,780 That's all it is. 705 00:31:40,780 --> 00:31:43,180 We're saying I'm just saying that's kind of like a waste. 706 00:31:43,180 --> 00:31:46,760 Yeah, that's like a waste of robot material. 707 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:49,260 Are you saying that it's like, do you want to say this house? 708 00:31:49,260 --> 00:31:51,660 Is there a waste of creation? 709 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:54,760 There's probably a reason they have eight legs through evolution. 710 00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:57,360 I don't kill spiders. 711 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,760 No one here kills spiders because I just think I only kill. 712 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,960 I create I only kill spiders when I see them, you know. 713 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,460 I killed one when they're inside my territory. 714 00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:08,960 Yeah, that's true. 715 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,100 Like, I think this is my property rights. 716 00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:12,300 I should have known better. 717 00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:14,000 You broke into my house, spider. 718 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,760 Mm hmm. You're dead. 719 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,800 Yeah, there goes consciousness forever for you. 720 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,300 Sometimes I shoot spiders in my gun. 721 00:32:21,300 --> 00:32:23,280 I go daddy long legs. 722 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:24,680 Mm hmm. 723 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:25,480 Dude, that's what I would be. 724 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:26,840 That's what I call myself. 725 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,520 If I had spider legs, I'm daddy long legs. 726 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,480 So call me daddy long legs. 727 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,220 Would you hit would you quit comedy? 728 00:32:36,220 --> 00:32:39,000 No, I'd be the king of comedy. 729 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,020 How would that like that's what people find funny? 730 00:32:41,020 --> 00:32:44,300 Hey, I'm daddy long legs. 731 00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:45,500 You're like, he's so cool. 732 00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:48,900 People would come to the daddy long legs show from all around the world. 733 00:32:49,940 --> 00:32:51,580 Spiders from all around. 734 00:32:51,580 --> 00:32:53,740 It is a very good. Yeah, it's not. 735 00:32:53,740 --> 00:32:55,780 No, but it's like, yeah, it's physical. 736 00:32:55,780 --> 00:32:57,720 It's a it's kind of a very thing. 737 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,580 I often get I get I get the leg. 738 00:33:00,580 --> 00:33:02,620 Oh, you cut your legs off, too. 739 00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:04,620 Yeah. So amputating your own. 740 00:33:04,620 --> 00:33:05,960 I guess I'm like a cyborg. 741 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:06,960 Essentially. 742 00:33:08,620 --> 00:33:10,260 Are you going to have an ass? 743 00:33:10,260 --> 00:33:12,460 No. OK, just no. 744 00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:14,760 Oh, this my dick. 745 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,200 Or just my two asses. 746 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,440 Interesting. So they'll cut like this. 747 00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:21,800 And then maybe maybe I'll have an ass. 748 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:23,940 No, I probably won't have an ass. 749 00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:26,180 Not much of one, it sounds like. 750 00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:27,980 Yeah, I probably want to keep the ass. 751 00:33:27,980 --> 00:33:29,580 I won't have much of a donk. 752 00:33:29,580 --> 00:33:31,480 Keep the donk. 753 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,880 She got to put the donk on top of the legs. 754 00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,920 You know, that's so kind of. 755 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:37,620 She got it down. 756 00:33:37,620 --> 00:33:40,020 Yeah. My sister used to listen to the most like 757 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,460 she's like kind of like a feminist now, but she's also the most like 758 00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:44,660 that's good. 759 00:33:44,660 --> 00:33:46,960 So I just think the yeah, like. 760 00:33:47,700 --> 00:33:50,500 Wait, is she for be no wonder she's no, not at all. 761 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,000 She's married. OK, boo. 762 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,800 She can't be a furby. 763 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,480 She's not like far. 764 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,300 She's like Antifa. Thank you. 765 00:34:00,140 --> 00:34:02,640 But she used to listen to like 766 00:34:03,380 --> 00:34:04,680 hood rap music. 767 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:09,020 She'd know she'd bump this song called Suck It or Not by Lil Wayne and Cameron. 768 00:34:09,780 --> 00:34:10,820 Lil Wayne. 769 00:34:10,820 --> 00:34:12,280 And she's a little way. 770 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:16,700 It's like I get brain in the strangest places to at the same time. 771 00:34:16,700 --> 00:34:18,960 He's always just talking about getting heard. 772 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,960 He's like Anthony Joselink of rap. 773 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,060 It's a hack. 774 00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:26,040 OK, the hack now he rips himself off. 775 00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:27,740 Guys, shut the fuck up. 776 00:34:27,740 --> 00:34:29,900 Point in time when you got to change it up. 777 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,280 Mac Miller, Kanye West, Mac Miller died. 778 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,980 Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying he had so many different styles. 779 00:34:38,020 --> 00:34:39,980 Jimmy Carter died. 780 00:34:39,980 --> 00:34:41,920 He did. Yeah. 781 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,280 That little humanitarian. 782 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,820 Yeah. One term, one term president. 783 00:34:46,820 --> 00:34:49,320 Oh, there's a guy. 784 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,960 We gave away the Panama Canal. 785 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,660 That's a bad thing. That's good. 786 00:34:52,660 --> 00:34:54,160 He was a good hearted man. 787 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:58,840 But unfortunately, that that that was one big issue that he did. 788 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,300 My friend said her grandpa one time had to lend his car 789 00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:04,880 to Jimmy Carter for some random thing. 790 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:05,980 Jimmy Carter. 791 00:35:05,980 --> 00:35:09,480 Yeah. And then Jimmy Carter turned the car back into him. 792 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,940 It was dirty as hell. 793 00:35:11,940 --> 00:35:13,240 And really no gas. 794 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:15,520 Even he didn't fill up the tank. 795 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,780 What the heck? 796 00:35:16,780 --> 00:35:19,380 You think my grandpa's turning in his grave right now? 797 00:35:19,380 --> 00:35:21,460 Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy Carter. 798 00:35:21,460 --> 00:35:25,620 That's cool. They're just like cigarettes and bugs and stains. 799 00:35:25,620 --> 00:35:28,260 You see the picture of Jimmy Carter after he voted 800 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,400 the picture of Jimmy Carter after he voted, shows him out like his birthday. 801 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,640 And he's just like, 802 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,200 oh, yeah, it's like you didn't press the vote button. 803 00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:41,880 It's rough, you know, it's like, yep, he's here. 804 00:35:42,980 --> 00:35:45,340 Yeah, I think I'm going to I think I'm going to call it a night 805 00:35:45,340 --> 00:35:49,680 when I'm like 70, no, probably even like 56. 806 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:50,780 What are you going to do? 807 00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:52,380 Well, I wouldn't off. 808 00:35:52,380 --> 00:35:56,220 I wouldn't like just off yourself, just just decided to go down 809 00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:59,160 like a super degenerate life. No. 810 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,760 Yeah. Voting or you mean like just start like doing math and. 811 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:04,960 Yeah. 812 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,500 Because you don't just want to like jump off a building or something. 813 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:10,060 At that point, I'd like indoor skydive. Right. 814 00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:13,280 You can join. You can join cool drugs or drug circles. 815 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,680 You can get like, you know, like, get spider legs. 816 00:36:15,700 --> 00:36:18,580 I drink a lot of moonshine. Oh, yeah. 817 00:36:18,580 --> 00:36:22,040 I'd sit on the front porch, drink moonshine. 818 00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:25,140 A lot of it smoke a lot of cigarettes. 819 00:36:25,220 --> 00:36:29,880 Yeah. And then you got to find random activities that are high risk 820 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,580 and then yelling people that reason that step on your lawn 821 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:37,560 and say, you're going to get it if you step on my property. 822 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,120 Oh, my gosh. 823 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:42,620 Open dangerous situations just to feel something at that point. 824 00:36:42,660 --> 00:36:43,900 Oh, yeah, you could. 825 00:36:43,900 --> 00:36:45,560 I do that all the time. 826 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,960 You could be like a mercenary or something. 827 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,060 You could join Blackwater. 828 00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:52,660 Wake up in the Middle East. 829 00:36:52,660 --> 00:36:54,400 How do I get out of this situation? 830 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,700 Yeah, I wonder if I wonder if they would hire someone 831 00:36:57,700 --> 00:37:01,800 who doesn't care about like someone who 70 who doesn't care about living anymore. 832 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,740 No, it's like if they would be rough trying to get jobs. 833 00:37:05,540 --> 00:37:08,620 Like you see someone like, yeah, but what if you just do it for free? 834 00:37:08,620 --> 00:37:10,780 It's like, yeah, just deploy me in Iraq. 835 00:37:11,220 --> 00:37:12,360 There's like this guy that works. 836 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,580 You know, Blackwater is it's like it's like a like a company. 837 00:37:16,580 --> 00:37:19,760 It's like a mercenary that the government hires. 838 00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,320 Golden Sag. 839 00:37:21,820 --> 00:37:23,960 Yes, the government will hire the government. 840 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,820 We'll hire them to go over there in addition to the U.S. Army. 841 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,720 Right. So it kind of looks like we have less people there, 842 00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:32,860 but they just hire these people. Yeah. 843 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:36,540 I think they changed the name of Blackwater because there was some scandal. 844 00:37:36,540 --> 00:37:39,840 But I think that's who runs the Walgreens across from me, 845 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,200 because there's this really old guy that works there. 846 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,980 And he's like the best customer service, 847 00:37:44,980 --> 00:37:46,840 but he's too good at customer service. 848 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:52,260 So then you ask me questions like they make these people. 849 00:37:52,260 --> 00:37:55,880 I swear, like you see, you ask, they have to ask. 850 00:37:56,420 --> 00:38:00,160 Like, I remember my buddy worked there and said that they would make him say, 851 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,560 like, thank you and be well. 852 00:38:02,860 --> 00:38:05,600 And then they would ask him, like, how many how many thank you and be well? 853 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,660 Is it you have this month? 854 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:09,040 And he put like a million like such a rebel. 855 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,540 But then they'll definitely make people ask, like, do you need bags? 856 00:38:12,540 --> 00:38:18,480 Because like no matter like how many items you buy or just like what they are, 857 00:38:18,940 --> 00:38:21,940 like it might be things that don't go in bags or something. 858 00:38:22,580 --> 00:38:27,760 And I'm like, I feel bad for them having to ask, like, do you need bags? 859 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:32,620 But then this guy will ask too many questions because he's doing his job. 860 00:38:32,620 --> 00:38:34,920 Or else. So I don't think he's black water. 861 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,860 Do you have an account like you want to? 862 00:38:36,860 --> 00:38:39,260 I think he's a spy. I think he's a spy. 863 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,560 And he'll I don't think he's a black. 864 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:42,800 Can I see your ID? 865 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,700 It's all standard. But then it's just does he have an accent? 866 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:49,200 I just sometimes you see these like people that I don't know 867 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:54,640 if they were in the Great Depression, but they're just like the least depressed. 868 00:38:55,140 --> 00:38:57,280 There's like the best customer service. 869 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,820 Some medals or something. 870 00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:02,160 Yeah. The guy who asked you all these questions, does he have any kind of accent? 871 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,760 Mm hmm. I think it may be Russian spy. 872 00:39:05,460 --> 00:39:09,060 KGB. Yeah. White man accent. 873 00:39:09,060 --> 00:39:12,160 Oh, he was a cis white male. Yeah. 874 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,160 And he's like, that's the worst kind of person. 875 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,000 Yeah. It's just so polite. 876 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,240 Oh, my goodness. Fucking dude. 877 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,680 What you're saying you like cis white males. 878 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,040 He does enough to make me snap on him. 879 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:29,580 But I mean, how could he? Nice. Yeah. 880 00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:31,140 There's a crime. 881 00:39:31,140 --> 00:39:33,980 We've gone over this, but there's a crime 882 00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:36,980 called blackmail that if you're a black male, you have to go to jail. 883 00:39:36,980 --> 00:39:40,160 We'll shoot him and well, white and white man. 884 00:39:40,220 --> 00:39:41,960 There's no white male crime. 885 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,600 Yeah, I don't mean to like dox this guy. Right. 886 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,900 But what's his name? 887 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:50,160 I don't know. It's probably probably know which Walgreens. 888 00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,500 Oh, the one right across the street. 889 00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:54,900 You'll know who I'm talking about if you go there. 890 00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:56,580 I'm going to go there. I want to see this guy. 891 00:39:56,580 --> 00:39:59,180 Probably Alex Jones. What hours is nice? 892 00:39:59,180 --> 00:40:00,380 He is Alex Jones. 893 00:40:00,380 --> 00:40:03,580 I think he works every hour he gets offered. 894 00:40:03,620 --> 00:40:05,480 Does he look like guy? 895 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,320 He kind of does, actually. 896 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,620 But yeah, I don't think he's 897 00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:13,820 being enough to Simpson porn in the bathroom. 898 00:40:13,820 --> 00:40:15,700 Yeah, I don't think so. 899 00:40:15,700 --> 00:40:17,600 Yeah, that's why I don't buy it. 900 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:21,400 That's why Blake Blase got fired from a lot of jobs for spending too much time. 901 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,600 He can't hold down. 902 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,600 Oh, man, don't go say that. 903 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,400 Yeah, come on. What? 904 00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,100 He's an employee. He needs to host more shows. 905 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,340 Yeah, you feel bad for these people. 906 00:40:31,340 --> 00:40:32,780 All right. Well, I'll justify it. 907 00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:36,120 He's one of the best hosts in Chicago. 908 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:40,420 I can't imagine how unemployable I'll be when I'm like even like 50. 909 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:42,820 Because I already am. 910 00:40:42,820 --> 00:40:46,760 Unemployable. Oh, I already don't fit in this corporate. 911 00:40:47,220 --> 00:40:50,560 No, but your resume is probably really clean and good. 912 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,900 And well, not with like a three year gap. 913 00:40:52,900 --> 00:40:54,700 You can always make some off for that gap. 914 00:40:54,700 --> 00:40:55,900 Well, what about the gambling? 915 00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:57,500 Those are the gambling. 916 00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:59,000 Well, it goes down. 917 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,480 It goes down and up. 918 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,800 I'll be like, I need the money so bad. 919 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:04,180 That's why you need to count cards. 920 00:41:04,180 --> 00:41:05,680 Just just do it. Get caught. 921 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,720 Get put in the back room, tied up and get punched and then you're good. 922 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,080 No, I just what if you just kept walking in here with black eyes 923 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,080 because you get caught at every casino? 924 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:16,760 Fuck, I thought I had them this time. 925 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,860 People do wear disguises to do that. 926 00:41:18,860 --> 00:41:21,320 Our question with the casino. 927 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:27,200 These are they are most of them under the large casino brands like MGM. 928 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:31,240 Mm hmm. Like like what's Caesar's horseshoe under something? 929 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,040 Yeah, horseshoe, Caesar's. 930 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,580 What's downtown one? 931 00:41:35,580 --> 00:41:38,120 Bally's is just Bally's, I think. 932 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,720 What about Bally's in Vegas? 933 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:42,520 And then there's one up north. 934 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:43,760 Yeah, walkie. 935 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,660 There's a pot of water. 936 00:41:45,660 --> 00:41:46,960 Mia, I love that. 937 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:48,460 Pot of water. Me. 938 00:41:48,460 --> 00:41:49,960 Yeah, that's like where I'm from. 939 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,060 It's like it's all pot of water. 940 00:41:52,060 --> 00:41:53,500 Well, every time. 941 00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:55,960 Yeah, that's the problem with canceling 942 00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,560 Native American things is you'd have to rename every small town in Wisconsin. 943 00:42:01,300 --> 00:42:04,740 Oh, literally in Chicago, the cherry lane or some shit. 944 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,280 Huh? Isn't Chicago named the horse? 945 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,280 Chicago, Milwaukee, 946 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,780 my the Kickapoo River, Kickapoo. 947 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,480 Yeah. I mean, every every. 948 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,620 That's funny. Yeah, Kickapoo. 949 00:42:18,620 --> 00:42:23,020 Yeah, I would if I I would not kick a poop because I won't want to give me my shoe. 950 00:42:23,020 --> 00:42:25,480 Mm hmm. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 951 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,260 If you have spider, how about that? 952 00:42:27,260 --> 00:42:30,100 I'm not going to kick a poop to want to get it on my shoe. 953 00:42:30,460 --> 00:42:33,760 You're going to have to buy four pairs of Jordans if you want to wear Jordans. 954 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,000 Yeah. A lot of people call me Jordan Peterson 955 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:39,600 because I'm like a smart guy. 956 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:40,940 You're like the Jordan Peterson. 957 00:42:40,940 --> 00:42:43,140 Should you cry every time you hear of America? 958 00:42:43,140 --> 00:42:45,300 Oh, the Jordan Peterson of America. 959 00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:47,140 Because he's Canadian. 960 00:42:47,140 --> 00:42:49,040 I'm Jordan Peterson. 961 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:50,340 Are you from Canada? 962 00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:52,940 I'm from Canada. 963 00:42:52,940 --> 00:42:55,380 Oh, they but they censored me so much. 964 00:42:55,380 --> 00:42:58,220 I came to I came to America. 965 00:42:58,220 --> 00:42:59,260 And then you went to Mexico. 966 00:42:59,260 --> 00:43:01,960 But I miss all the maple syrup. 967 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,720 I feel like Dylan's more Jordan 968 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:07,220 because he's like he's wearing like the metrosexual garb. 969 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:10,600 Well, no, I'm from like you're going to take that for a peninsula. 970 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,400 And people say that's Canada or Alaska. 971 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,440 And they just say he must live in an igloo. 972 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,880 Well, I mean, he rides his snow 973 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,580 snowmobile to school. 974 00:43:24,620 --> 00:43:26,240 What time someone called him? 975 00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:26,680 Yeah, what's that? 976 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:27,920 Someone called an Eskimo. 977 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,560 And I was pissed for him because it's offensive. 978 00:43:30,660 --> 00:43:33,120 Now, there's actually a school by me called Eskina 979 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:34,760 and they're like they were the Eskimos. 980 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,160 Yeah. And it's just like I'm like, you got to call them. 981 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:38,820 You got to call them into it. 982 00:43:38,820 --> 00:43:40,060 Intuit Turbo Tech. 983 00:43:40,060 --> 00:43:41,260 That's what this tribe is called. 984 00:43:41,260 --> 00:43:44,400 Just because like the Native American name sounds like 985 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,960 like the Inuit, like which I think that's naughty. 986 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,300 They don't like that. 987 00:43:49,300 --> 00:43:51,640 The funny thing is, say they're from Alaska. 988 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,220 It's they had to change the name Native American to indigenous people 989 00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:58,060 because like we're Native American technically, 990 00:43:58,060 --> 00:43:59,480 because we were born here. 991 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:03,720 The Eskina Eskimos, the Eshpeming Hematites. 992 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,860 Mm hmm. That's why the market. 993 00:44:05,860 --> 00:44:09,500 Yeah. Let's come up with a new name for Native Americans right now. 994 00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:11,740 OK. Indian blue skins. 995 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,840 I think I just think about real Americans. 996 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,140 We're. Oh, no, we can't say that. 997 00:44:20,140 --> 00:44:22,880 I like in Japan, and this in Japan and this. 998 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:26,340 Jim is called Jim Ness North Americans. 999 00:44:26,420 --> 00:44:30,960 How about how about how about the bad ass Tomahawk guys? 1000 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,000 Tomahawk, the Tomahawk Tomahawks, Tomahawk people. 1001 00:44:36,020 --> 00:44:39,060 But there's probably there's probably there's probably a Tomahawk. 1002 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,960 No, there's probably. 1003 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,840 There's probably a tribe called Tomahawk that probably started using those. 1004 00:44:46,940 --> 00:44:49,500 And that's probably where it came from. 1005 00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:51,000 What does call them? 1006 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,580 Like, yo, yo, that's that. 1007 00:44:57,140 --> 00:44:58,620 You know that word. 1008 00:44:58,620 --> 00:44:59,620 Yeah, I love that. 1009 00:44:59,620 --> 00:45:02,080 Yes. Do you like being called Caucasian? 1010 00:45:02,980 --> 00:45:05,120 Yeah, because it's like a Asian. 1011 00:45:06,220 --> 00:45:07,760 I feel like I'm not Caucasian. 1012 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,920 Well, I'm like an Asian covered in like white, like like caulk, 1013 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,000 not like caulk caulk, like like white. 1014 00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:17,260 So so what they do to make white people is right. 1015 00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:19,160 You grab an Asian person. OK. 1016 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:20,740 I know it's because I'm white. 1017 00:45:20,740 --> 00:45:25,740 OK. They grab an Asian person and then they just put caulk 1018 00:45:26,980 --> 00:45:31,080 see a see a you 1019 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,180 LK all over your body. 1020 00:45:33,180 --> 00:45:34,440 Sounds like hazing. 1021 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,880 And it well, you've been through this and when you were a baby, you didn't even know. 1022 00:45:38,380 --> 00:45:41,080 So that's how white people were created. Wow. 1023 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:43,920 I know it's like that. I saw this thing. 1024 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,100 Most people are fucking gross. 1025 00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:48,020 Most people are born Asian and then just they just change the color of them 1026 00:45:48,020 --> 00:45:49,600 based on what they want them to be. 1027 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,340 I saw a clip from this movie. 1028 00:45:51,340 --> 00:45:52,600 Yeah. Oh. 1029 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,660 And Elvis was from 1989. 1030 00:45:54,660 --> 00:45:58,400 He was talking about what is the connection between elves and Nazis. 1031 00:45:58,940 --> 00:46:01,440 And then they said that 1032 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,240 it was basically just saying. 1033 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:06,980 Like if you were if you like. 1034 00:46:06,980 --> 00:46:10,820 If you resisted or something, something like you were punished with. 1035 00:46:12,820 --> 00:46:15,620 Darker skin and where do they find 1036 00:46:15,620 --> 00:46:17,760 it's hard to where they listen to find this video? 1037 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,020 What's so in my algorithm? 1038 00:46:21,020 --> 00:46:23,560 That's a Nazi look of Nazi elves. 1039 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:25,860 Yeah, some will pop up. 1040 00:46:25,860 --> 00:46:29,900 It just listed the character had multiple theories about the connection. 1041 00:46:30,100 --> 00:46:32,680 Yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of Lord of the Rings stuff. 1042 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:34,840 What about Elvish Presley? 1043 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,120 So he's he's so he's like one of the he's in Lord of the Rings. 1044 00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:39,140 He's one of the elves. 1045 00:46:39,140 --> 00:46:40,980 But he he's just Elvis. 1046 00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:42,980 But his hair is blonde. Yeah. 1047 00:46:42,980 --> 00:46:45,420 Is that a jet black? Yeah. 1048 00:46:45,420 --> 00:46:47,020 And he beats his wife still. 1049 00:46:47,020 --> 00:46:50,960 He's like, yeah, he's like one king to rule them all. 1050 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,500 Yeah, I'm the king of the elves. 1051 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,840 Well, now you'll be the king of the snow. 1052 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,500 Elvish Presley is an amazing character. 1053 00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:05,500 I got to give myself props for that. 1054 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:06,800 What kind of props? 1055 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,280 Not I would just say that was my props saying that was an amazing character. 1056 00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,140 Oh, you're you're too young to know like like. 1057 00:47:14,140 --> 00:47:15,920 I thought you were going to get tab dancing shoes. 1058 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,560 Yeah, like if you give someone props, it's like, you know, like. 1059 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:20,980 I want to be a prop comedian. 1060 00:47:20,980 --> 00:47:22,260 So fucking bad. 1061 00:47:22,260 --> 00:47:24,120 No, but this has nothing to do with. 1062 00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,060 I'm going to start bringing ukulele everywhere I go to open my. 1063 00:47:27,060 --> 00:47:32,060 So, you know, you would really be like breaking new ground if you did that. 1064 00:47:32,260 --> 00:47:34,100 I don't think I've ever. 1065 00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:36,700 Do you know? Do you know what's her name? 1066 00:47:37,060 --> 00:47:38,100 It's never been done. 1067 00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:40,140 What's her cat? 1068 00:47:40,140 --> 00:47:42,140 I think cat cat cat cat. 1069 00:47:42,140 --> 00:47:46,280 But yeah, she's like, say, look, my ass, I'll lick my favorite. 1070 00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:48,740 Well, she knows she knows she's not making art. 1071 00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:50,920 She knows like that's a first. 1072 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,820 I have not seen her for like ever. 1073 00:47:52,820 --> 00:47:55,420 Well, I mean, stand up comedy is not art. 1074 00:47:56,380 --> 00:47:59,620 Yeah, so maybe I was like, I was not thinking about it. 1075 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,020 The wrong way. Every every every word that comes out of my mouth 1076 00:48:03,020 --> 00:48:05,760 is a paintbrush that goes into people's ears. 1077 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:10,740 You know, yeah, it's a good and it paints a picture in their mind 1078 00:48:10,740 --> 00:48:14,600 and it sticks to them and it may change their point of view. 1079 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:18,540 So it's lead paint and it gives you right. 1080 00:48:18,540 --> 00:48:20,340 It could be damaging. 1081 00:48:20,340 --> 00:48:22,980 It's always it's always the worst thing. 1082 00:48:23,420 --> 00:48:25,320 Yeah, it's always lead. 1083 00:48:27,380 --> 00:48:28,980 I'm trying to be dick. 1084 00:48:28,980 --> 00:48:30,920 I do. I do like that. 1085 00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,200 That is kind of a artistic way to describe what is what is not. 1086 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,160 I did paint a picture. 1087 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:39,460 It's an artistic way to describe a non art, which is a stand up comedy. 1088 00:48:39,460 --> 00:48:41,920 But yeah, I remember her saying like, this is me. 1089 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,700 I don't even make comedy or something. 1090 00:48:43,700 --> 00:48:46,540 I was like, OK, I guess she's more self aware than I thought. 1091 00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,840 But then it's just like that takes a lot of balls to fucking 1092 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,400 just be playing songs that you don't even. Yeah. 1093 00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,380 She's like, like my pussy, my ass. 1094 00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:58,940 I have to leave her. 1095 00:48:58,940 --> 00:49:01,780 Like, yeah, she had us in her room and be like, 1096 00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:06,560 I really want to write a song about looking someone's asshole right now. 1097 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,940 Yeah, I think it's really funny. Yeah. 1098 00:49:09,980 --> 00:49:13,100 So like maybe she's just saying it's not comedy to protect herself. 1099 00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:16,140 She's got a frat bush. Oh, wait, wait. 1100 00:49:16,140 --> 00:49:20,080 Is she like saying, wait, is she a part of the Bush family? 1101 00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:23,280 The dynasty? I mean, she's tougher than Jeb. 1102 00:49:24,060 --> 00:49:26,360 She is tougher than Jeff couldn't do that. 1103 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:27,720 Jeb Bush is a weak. 1104 00:49:27,720 --> 00:49:29,520 Oh, my gosh. You should say that. 1105 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,120 Well, she's right. Oh, she has the clap. 1106 00:49:32,660 --> 00:49:34,060 She has the clap. 1107 00:49:34,060 --> 00:49:36,660 I'm sure you can get rid of the clap. 1108 00:49:36,660 --> 00:49:37,860 That's a bacterial infection. 1109 00:49:37,860 --> 00:49:39,100 Thank you for the clap. 1110 00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:40,900 Yeah. Yeah. 1111 00:49:40,900 --> 00:49:43,540 Viruses are the ones you can't get rid of. 1112 00:49:43,780 --> 00:49:45,480 Dang. I think if you get enough time. 1113 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,140 I literally didn't know that I just went away like three years. 1114 00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:51,640 What? It took like two years to get rid of. 1115 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,620 You had to just kind of went away. 1116 00:49:53,620 --> 00:49:56,680 It's so personal. Yeah. 1117 00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:00,160 Yeah. So so my immune system is really good. 1118 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:04,740 The only kind of clap you've ever gotten in comedy is the is the one 1119 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,700 in your private parts. 1120 00:50:06,700 --> 00:50:10,740 Yeah. And and and the pity ones like your mom. 1121 00:50:10,740 --> 00:50:12,820 I know. I normally get from your mom and dad. Yeah. 1122 00:50:12,820 --> 00:50:17,480 Oh, no. My mom and dad create viral videos and standing ovations. 1123 00:50:18,420 --> 00:50:20,280 Oh, really? Yeah. 1124 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:21,820 Yeah. How much? 1125 00:50:21,820 --> 00:50:23,320 Yeah. What's your like phone? 1126 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:28,220 Chautami and Mark, the divorced, very passive aggressive. 1127 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:29,860 I forgot that they're divorced. 1128 00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:33,300 Yeah. So it like was it your fault and why? 1129 00:50:34,140 --> 00:50:36,240 No, I'm my mom's favorite. 1130 00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:37,800 My dad's middle favorite. 1131 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:40,680 So I'm one of four. 1132 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:44,740 I'm the second sister and then me and then two younger brothers. 1133 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:46,040 I was the oldest boy. 1134 00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,580 I was pretty much the oldest. 1135 00:50:48,820 --> 00:50:49,720 I was a leader. 1136 00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:51,820 You're the oldest boy, but not your father's. 1137 00:50:51,820 --> 00:50:54,180 But so I wasn't a middle child. 1138 00:50:54,180 --> 00:50:56,860 I was an upper middle child. 1139 00:50:56,860 --> 00:51:00,200 You know, I was kind of a class above the one below me. 1140 00:51:00,260 --> 00:51:02,420 And he had he had no person. 1141 00:51:02,420 --> 00:51:04,400 Sam Nepper, he sucks. 1142 00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:06,760 I still kind of hate him. 1143 00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:08,300 Yeah. I hope we prank. 1144 00:51:08,300 --> 00:51:11,160 No prank calls him nepper. 1145 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,440 Maybe Alex says, oh, yeah, I guess. 1146 00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:15,940 What? Oh, I have a phone. 1147 00:51:15,940 --> 00:51:17,300 Yeah. I don't know. 1148 00:51:17,300 --> 00:51:18,080 It's not my heart. 1149 00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,680 What's one time I prank called him and I 1150 00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:24,680 and I told him that I was like, Sam, 1151 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:27,220 I just got out of the doctor's office and 1152 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,760 it turns out I have I got diagnosed with BAPD 1153 00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,120 and he was like, what's that? 1154 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:37,400 Is that like bipolar? 1155 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,600 I was like, that's big ass penis disorder. 1156 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,300 And then he was like, oh, my God. 1157 00:51:45,500 --> 00:51:46,900 And he's joking. 1158 00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:48,400 At that point, he was. 1159 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,440 Well, now, at first, it was a real call. 1160 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,600 And then I scared him at the beginning. 1161 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,900 He was then I was like, yeah, like 1162 00:51:55,980 --> 00:51:58,540 they didn't have measuring tape like big enough. 1163 00:51:58,540 --> 00:52:02,180 So they had to, you know, go to the store and get a way longer 1164 00:52:02,180 --> 00:52:05,640 measuring tape that they once they measure my dick. 1165 00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:07,720 It turns out I have big ass penises. 1166 00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:11,380 OK, this is they kind of not as really funny. 1167 00:52:12,060 --> 00:52:13,160 I enjoyed that. 1168 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,020 There is. But it's it's on Instagram. 1169 00:52:16,020 --> 00:52:18,020 You can listen to it. OK, I love that. 1170 00:52:18,020 --> 00:52:20,760 Yeah. Plug that plug that put it in the links. 1171 00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,460 How big is your penis? 1172 00:52:22,460 --> 00:52:25,540 I don't know. Technically. 1173 00:52:25,540 --> 00:52:27,740 Like right now, like five. 1174 00:52:27,740 --> 00:52:31,040 You have balls. No. 1175 00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:32,280 I love so anyways. 1176 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:33,580 I love Sarpina's pizza. 1177 00:52:33,580 --> 00:52:37,180 No, what I heard, what I heard, though, from the Internet 1178 00:52:37,180 --> 00:52:39,480 is that a lot of people hate that they're circumcised 1179 00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,120 and they're stretching their pee pees back. 1180 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,020 Is that true? 1181 00:52:44,020 --> 00:52:46,420 I think it'd be like girl talk. 1182 00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:48,520 I just want to know. 1183 00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,360 People aren't people aren't uncircumcising, 1184 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:55,700 but I think less people are circumcising their kids than prior. 1185 00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,860 It is like we know like they think about it like people. 1186 00:52:58,860 --> 00:53:01,100 People are getting surgeries. 1187 00:53:01,100 --> 00:53:05,840 People aren't getting surgeries as adults to become uncircumcised. 1188 00:53:06,100 --> 00:53:08,340 Yeah, that's crazy. Well, my. 1189 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:14,320 But but but the idea of circumcision among people our age. 1190 00:53:14,620 --> 00:53:17,420 I know like I used to listen to 1191 00:53:17,420 --> 00:53:21,420 men, chains, the chain girls, but Matt McCusker was talking about. 1192 00:53:21,420 --> 00:53:23,020 That's where I heard it from. 1193 00:53:23,020 --> 00:53:25,300 Yeah. OK. So his stance on. 1194 00:53:25,300 --> 00:53:26,960 No, I just yeah. 1195 00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:32,360 He just thinks that men should be circumcised because it ruins the 1196 00:53:32,860 --> 00:53:36,840 the pleasure because it's supposed to be covered up the 1197 00:53:37,940 --> 00:53:42,000 the because it's tough for the top of the the tip of our dick. 1198 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,080 Is it is it? Yeah. 1199 00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,540 Yeah. It's like crazy that they would give like 1200 00:53:46,540 --> 00:53:50,380 baby surgeries and it's like to keep them clean. 1201 00:53:50,380 --> 00:53:52,280 But then it's like I like moils. 1202 00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:56,720 It gives you like more like or like more sensitivity. 1203 00:53:57,380 --> 00:54:00,620 It's just kind of really like just weird in a lot of ways. 1204 00:54:00,620 --> 00:54:04,060 So in your opinion, I would never arrive at what looks better, 1205 00:54:04,060 --> 00:54:06,220 a circumciser on a circumcised. 1206 00:54:06,220 --> 00:54:09,660 Yeah, because uncircumcised looks like that. 1207 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,000 That's a piece of our circumcised. 1208 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,100 Yeah, because then I could stretch it. 1209 00:54:14,100 --> 00:54:19,200 Mm hmm. And they get back to uncircumcised. 1210 00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,040 And I feel like I'm adding to the movement. 1211 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,180 But then you got to like stitch it in. 1212 00:54:24,180 --> 00:54:26,080 You know? Yeah. Yeah. 1213 00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,920 I like do you want to moil is what is that? 1214 00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:31,520 It's a that sounds like some tumeric. 1215 00:54:31,780 --> 00:54:35,860 No, no, no, it's it's a well, it's like a 1216 00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:39,760 Hasidic Jewish people have someone called the moil. 1217 00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:42,360 And what they do is they after the circumcision, 1218 00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,300 they suck the blood off the babies. 1219 00:54:44,300 --> 00:54:47,460 The day you look it up. 1220 00:54:47,460 --> 00:54:48,600 No, what was that? 1221 00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:49,800 I don't want that. 1222 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,600 My Google search. 1223 00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,000 I don't like called someone out there. 1224 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,300 I have some bad stuff on my Google search. 1225 00:54:55,300 --> 00:54:57,840 Oh, my God. Show it. 1226 00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,440 It's I googled. 1227 00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:02,120 Is Santa Claus real? 1228 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:03,820 And they lied. 1229 00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:09,380 When Israel is Israel, yes, and he is in Israel. 1230 00:55:09,380 --> 00:55:10,120 They said no. 1231 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,920 And then I was like, what is what is with this? 1232 00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,220 So what is with this? 1233 00:55:15,220 --> 00:55:17,700 What is with this AI transhumanist bullshit? 1234 00:55:17,700 --> 00:55:19,700 They're trying to turn us all into robots. Right. 1235 00:55:19,700 --> 00:55:22,160 I'm against us being robots except for spider legs. 1236 00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:25,400 Yeah, that's what we're saying, though, is that you're accelerating, 1237 00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:28,300 turning us into a cyborgs. 1238 00:55:28,300 --> 00:55:29,480 No, it's all related to the. 1239 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,740 Yeah, it's the same thing. 1240 00:55:31,740 --> 00:55:33,980 No, but I'm a step farther. 1241 00:55:33,980 --> 00:55:36,020 Even is a major step. 1242 00:55:36,020 --> 00:55:40,480 I'm getting my legs cut off and putting spider legs on electively. 1243 00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:43,060 You're becoming an animal cyborg. 1244 00:55:43,220 --> 00:55:46,520 Yeah. And then I'll need I'll need obviously a brain, 1245 00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,760 a brain link to move the spider legs. 1246 00:55:49,060 --> 00:55:52,100 Animorphs fucked up spy kids. 1247 00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:54,460 I love I watch my kids. 1248 00:55:54,460 --> 00:55:56,060 You know, you know, Mr. 1249 00:55:56,060 --> 00:55:57,100 Fleur actually do that. 1250 00:55:57,100 --> 00:55:59,500 I do. He's that bad man. 1251 00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:00,400 He's pretty bad. 1252 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:01,940 You know, those thumb guys. 1253 00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:03,140 Yeah. What else? 1254 00:56:03,140 --> 00:56:04,340 You know, those spider be. 1255 00:56:04,340 --> 00:56:07,820 I want to get I would love to have some thumb guys for security. 1256 00:56:08,340 --> 00:56:12,260 You know, and then but he would turn like people 1257 00:56:12,260 --> 00:56:15,020 into like these weird claymation people. 1258 00:56:15,660 --> 00:56:17,020 I was like, what the heck? 1259 00:56:17,020 --> 00:56:18,520 Yeah. Remember? 1260 00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:19,760 There's a lot of weird. 1261 00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,460 No, I'm just saying I did. 1262 00:56:21,460 --> 00:56:23,060 I like my childhood. 1263 00:56:23,060 --> 00:56:25,000 I literally was just like playing. 1264 00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,140 I thought you said you watched it recently. 1265 00:56:26,140 --> 00:56:26,960 No, I mean, no. 1266 00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,060 Everyone tells me that I have to watch spy kids. 1267 00:56:29,060 --> 00:56:30,540 And I feel like I've just been fucking. 1268 00:56:30,540 --> 00:56:32,580 Yeah, I just been like not watching spy kids. 1269 00:56:32,580 --> 00:56:35,180 I just don't want spy kids and I feel really stupid. 1270 00:56:35,180 --> 00:56:36,180 Who do you like more? 1271 00:56:36,180 --> 00:56:38,180 Do you like Carmen or Junie more? 1272 00:56:38,180 --> 00:56:39,780 I don't know. Carmen. Fine. 1273 00:56:39,780 --> 00:56:40,720 That's fine. Yeah. 1274 00:56:40,720 --> 00:56:43,760 I was just like playing like I was just playing go fish 1275 00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,260 like by myself, like as a kid, like growing up, 1276 00:56:46,260 --> 00:56:48,520 because like no one wanted to play kickball with me. 1277 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:50,220 You can watch like this by yourself. 1278 00:56:50,220 --> 00:56:53,560 No, I just like like I feel like if like spy kids was like, 1279 00:56:54,060 --> 00:56:57,600 you know, hey, no, I feel like it's like an in cell movie. 1280 00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,100 It's Alex. 1281 00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:01,560 But then you are an I understand the loneliness. 1282 00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:03,580 But we want to be your friend. OK. 1283 00:57:04,380 --> 00:57:06,940 We would play go fish with you or kickball. 1284 00:57:06,940 --> 00:57:08,780 We want to be we want to be your best friend. 1285 00:57:08,780 --> 00:57:12,080 No, like if you get spider, no, only if you get spider legs. 1286 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,120 So you got to sign a contract. 1287 00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,620 And it's going to say it's going to say bad deal at the top. 1288 00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:19,080 It's going to say you got to get it. 1289 00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,960 All it's going to say is you got to get spider legs of Mac. 1290 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,860 I would sign it again. 1291 00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:28,220 Yeah, we did get Dylan a contract as a bad deal at the top. 1292 00:57:28,300 --> 00:57:31,000 And I was like, you don't got to read the contract. 1293 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,840 I gave up like all my money and intellectual property. 1294 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,000 I just kind of didn't read it. 1295 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,080 Yeah, it was a good read and weep. 1296 00:57:39,700 --> 00:57:44,840 Well, I'm doing I'm I'm I'm signing cash and checks and signing checks. 1297 00:57:45,140 --> 00:57:48,520 Checks when new people say read it and weep, is that when you get a high 1298 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,180 test score and show it to somebody or something like a Dear John letter? 1299 00:57:51,180 --> 00:57:53,420 Maybe or maybe I get a paycheck. 1300 00:57:53,420 --> 00:57:55,360 See, I watched a lot of Dear John growing up. 1301 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,760 Mm hmm. The Nicholas Sparks movie. 1302 00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,700 Bubba Sparks, like it's a book, but I only watched the movie 1303 00:58:00,700 --> 00:58:03,300 because I couldn't read growing up. 1304 00:58:03,300 --> 00:58:06,340 Why? And it means I left your ass. 1305 00:58:06,340 --> 00:58:07,640 You still can't. Yeah. 1306 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:08,840 And then you went to war. 1307 00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:10,540 Like I can read my ass. 1308 00:58:10,540 --> 00:58:11,880 You should be a Dear John to. 1309 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:13,880 Men used to go to war. 1310 00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:16,920 And now they just go to war with. 1311 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,220 I just made. Yeah. 1312 00:58:19,220 --> 00:58:21,420 Well, the problem is, life gets too comfortable. 1313 00:58:21,420 --> 00:58:24,960 Everyone just you know, if you there's no enemy or anything, 1314 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:28,000 if there's no big issues that we all have to come together on, 1315 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,460 then everything gets divided. 1316 00:58:30,460 --> 00:58:32,700 Yeah. Polarization is real, folks. 1317 00:58:32,700 --> 00:58:35,300 Yeah. Polar bears are too. Yeah. 1318 00:58:35,700 --> 00:58:37,840 Santa Claus. Santa Claus is real. 1319 00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:39,540 Learn that he is real. Israel. 1320 00:58:39,540 --> 00:58:42,740 Israel is real. Real. Yeah. 1321 00:58:43,140 --> 00:58:48,620 We said we don't really know the territory that real eyes realize realize. 1322 00:58:48,820 --> 00:58:51,480 We don't really know what the territory they should have is, 1323 00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,460 but it's real as a as a country. 1324 00:58:54,460 --> 00:58:57,300 I say North Pole. Give up the Palestine. 1325 00:58:57,920 --> 00:58:59,620 Yeah, we should give Israel the North Pole. 1326 00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:01,020 You can have the North Pole. 1327 00:59:01,020 --> 00:59:02,160 Let's give Israel the North Pole. 1328 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,400 It was it's pretty hot there. 1329 00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:06,960 Use the no and they can give them a literal dome 1330 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,100 so they can have any climate. 1331 00:59:08,100 --> 00:59:09,400 They can take part. 1332 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,680 South Pole. What they can take. 1333 00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:12,900 I don't want to know. 1334 00:59:12,900 --> 00:59:15,140 I want to I didn't finish my little story. 1335 00:59:15,140 --> 00:59:18,180 Whatever. Where all the food? 1336 00:59:18,180 --> 00:59:20,140 They've been like moving to Texas, Loki. 1337 00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:22,420 Really? Yeah, I love it. Yeah. 1338 00:59:22,420 --> 00:59:25,520 I want to I want to hear about the virtual buffet. 1339 00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:29,660 Anyway, someone stole my fucking food, but it doesn't matter. 1340 00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:32,160 Subway, the subway near me. 1341 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:33,400 What is it like, though? 1342 00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,560 What does that mean? A virtual buffet? 1343 00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:37,040 I don't know. I ordered. 1344 00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,660 I ordered it at like one a.m. 1345 00:59:39,660 --> 00:59:41,900 I showed up. My food was gone. 1346 00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:45,440 It was just a bunch of lockers. 1347 00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:48,440 And they cracked the year they hacked your code. 1348 00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:50,840 They took my fucking food in my locker. 1349 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:52,720 I bet the AI even open. 1350 00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,720 I bet the AI it's become more powerful. 1351 00:59:55,380 --> 00:59:58,380 Yeah, but I'm but I'm I was just like, dude, 1352 00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:02,660 not only did I like show up at a place that wasn't a fucking restaurant, 1353 01:00:02,700 --> 01:00:05,360 it's like a pickup center for food. 1354 01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:09,100 And everyone's like in their PJs, just like, yeah, 1355 01:00:09,100 --> 01:00:13,000 just waiting for their food to show up in a magic magic locker. 1356 01:00:13,500 --> 01:00:16,100 I'm only allowed to park there for 15 minutes. 1357 01:00:16,340 --> 01:00:18,040 Like what? Yeah, I know we're talking about. 1358 01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,540 It was gone. It's these places that these businesses, 1359 01:00:21,540 --> 01:00:22,840 they just have kitchens in there. 1360 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,840 Yeah. And then they just yeah, just put it in. 1361 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:26,820 Yeah, it's fucking nuts. Yeah. 1362 01:00:26,820 --> 01:00:28,080 It's people on the other side. 1363 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:29,980 I knocked a little metal sheet. 1364 01:00:29,980 --> 01:00:32,360 All I heard was like a little all this stuff. 1365 01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:33,180 That's all I heard. Yeah. 1366 01:00:33,180 --> 01:00:34,460 What is back there? 1367 01:00:34,460 --> 01:00:37,760 All this stuff is just removing human interaction of any kind. 1368 01:00:38,020 --> 01:00:39,200 It is really convenient. 1369 01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:41,400 And that's bad because it's convenient. 1370 01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:44,560 But people need to like it's part of human. 1371 01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:50,360 It is part of that part of human nature is that people need to be around other people. 1372 01:00:50,500 --> 01:00:54,940 Yeah, but that's like for us to go in there and then they have to deal with a thousand of us. 1373 01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:57,700 It's easy. Oh, no, I would love to do that. 1374 01:00:57,700 --> 01:01:01,940 No, you might not know to grab like food from a locker. 1375 01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:03,340 Yeah. Yeah. 1376 01:01:03,340 --> 01:01:06,280 But I think it for society, it's bad. 1377 01:01:07,020 --> 01:01:09,220 Maybe I see what you're saying. 1378 01:01:09,220 --> 01:01:12,280 It also it also it also cuts jobs. 1379 01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:15,820 I just think it's when someone has to get paid like ten dollars an hour to 1380 01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:20,460 like, I don't know, that's why it's the little Caesar's lady 1381 01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,860 down the street and they have lockers. 1382 01:01:24,300 --> 01:01:27,600 But she's all she's very like they apply for the job. 1383 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,800 They are you know, stuff was nice. 1384 01:01:30,100 --> 01:01:33,540 But then I just think if I couldn't do that position, 1385 01:01:34,100 --> 01:01:37,900 because people think I mean just from I'm not even being mean. 1386 01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:39,840 I'm just, in my opinion, neutral. 1387 01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:42,940 Well, you will you look like like a Nazi skinhead. 1388 01:01:42,980 --> 01:01:45,140 Yeah. We a neo Nazi. 1389 01:01:45,140 --> 01:01:49,020 Yeah. I thought it was maybe more my voice, but I guess. 1390 01:01:49,020 --> 01:01:52,220 No, I mean, I mean, I bet I meant neo 1391 01:01:52,420 --> 01:01:54,860 Nazis and like neo from the matrix. Yeah. 1392 01:01:54,860 --> 01:01:57,600 Yeah. You also look like a head. 1393 01:01:57,600 --> 01:01:59,400 I'm the black guy. 1394 01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:02,400 All right. We all told you we all have skin on our head. 1395 01:02:02,440 --> 01:02:04,440 OK, can we just say that? 1396 01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:06,660 Yeah, everyone's a skit below. OK. 1397 01:02:06,660 --> 01:02:08,800 We're all skinheads to some extent. 1398 01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:10,400 Yeah. Yeah. 1399 01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:14,480 So yes, if you have hair to cover it up, he's he's he's all he's 1400 01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:15,880 he's all out there. Yeah. 1401 01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:17,080 Some people are tall. 1402 01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:18,220 Some people are short. 1403 01:02:18,220 --> 01:02:19,120 You should incorporate that. 1404 01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:21,380 Like that is a good song. 1405 01:02:21,380 --> 01:02:25,480 Some people think I'm a skinhead, but folks, we're all skinheads. 1406 01:02:25,820 --> 01:02:28,020 Some people cover up the skin. 1407 01:02:28,020 --> 01:02:30,060 I don't want to show my. Yeah. 1408 01:02:30,060 --> 01:02:31,460 I could take mine off. 1409 01:02:31,460 --> 01:02:33,620 Yeah. I'm my head's naked. 1410 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,100 Yeah. No, we'll be naked. 1411 01:02:36,100 --> 01:02:40,000 There's no style in being bald under my hair. 1412 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,900 There's a second penis. 1413 01:02:41,900 --> 01:02:47,040 Anyway, so the subway near me, that's 24 hours, has bulletproof glass everywhere. 1414 01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:50,180 I would do I would go to a different subway. 1415 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:52,020 Like the pope. 1416 01:02:52,020 --> 01:02:55,360 Why? Who's trying to shoot up a subway right now? 1417 01:02:55,520 --> 01:02:56,980 Just lawlessness everywhere. 1418 01:02:56,980 --> 01:02:59,120 I mean, there's probably a reason for I got robbed at one point. 1419 01:02:59,260 --> 01:03:01,420 Someone's just behind it like you can't rob me. 1420 01:03:01,420 --> 01:03:06,760 I know what every like tasty subs in on like was it tasty subs on Howard? 1421 01:03:06,860 --> 01:03:08,220 They call it 1422 01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:12,860 the border between Edmondson and Chicago on Howard and this stretch. 1423 01:03:12,860 --> 01:03:15,560 They call the jungle because it's just like in shootouts everywhere. 1424 01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:19,000 All the time. It's just like a hot spot. 1425 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:21,800 Well, I feel like everyone should just have a gun. 1426 01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:25,740 If black black people call the jungle, that's not a white person like pejorative. 1427 01:03:26,740 --> 01:03:28,780 I just use the word pejorative that we need to get rid of. 1428 01:03:28,780 --> 01:03:30,620 So I'm sorry that I said. 1429 01:03:30,620 --> 01:03:32,080 Oh, my gosh. 1430 01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:33,580 Chill the fuck out. 1431 01:03:33,580 --> 01:03:35,280 About what? Chill out. 1432 01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:36,320 About getting rid of words. 1433 01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:40,260 Yeah. You're just explaining that that's not how it thinks of the word. 1434 01:03:41,820 --> 01:03:42,660 Yeah. 1435 01:03:42,660 --> 01:03:44,920 I feel like everyone should have guns. 1436 01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:49,160 Definitely. No, I'm saying teachers, students like like Mike Robinson, 1437 01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:50,640 Dan Kelly Robinson. 1438 01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:53,900 He lived here like he was around. 1439 01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:57,000 He was in a gang like 20 years ago 1440 01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,940 and they would call that area the jungle. 1441 01:03:58,940 --> 01:04:02,100 And he was a fan for you. 1442 01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:05,180 I call my place the Arctic. 1443 01:04:05,180 --> 01:04:06,580 Yeah. Yeah. 1444 01:04:06,580 --> 01:04:09,420 I like Kelly Robinson, but Mike Robinson's a little bitch. 1445 01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:12,220 Oh, Mike Robinson. 1446 01:04:12,220 --> 01:04:13,880 Shout out to Mike Robinson. 1447 01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:15,580 And to shout out to Mike Robinson. 1448 01:04:15,580 --> 01:04:16,380 Well, I like him. 1449 01:04:16,380 --> 01:04:19,920 But it's just Mac was supported him, but he's a fair weather supporter. 1450 01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:22,360 Well, he stole my bike, too. 1451 01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:23,860 Why did he steal your bike? 1452 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:28,340 Why? Because he's because he because he is a drunk. 1453 01:04:28,340 --> 01:04:29,340 Oh, no. 1454 01:04:30,540 --> 01:04:32,000 You didn't steal your bike. 1455 01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:33,800 He did. Just this is a bit. 1456 01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:34,900 It's not a bit. 1457 01:04:34,900 --> 01:04:36,280 What? This is a bit. 1458 01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,540 You refuse to return my bike. 1459 01:04:38,540 --> 01:04:40,440 OK, it's not a bit. 1460 01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:43,220 Just a cliche. 1461 01:04:43,220 --> 01:04:44,420 Wait, who stole your bike? 1462 01:04:44,420 --> 01:04:45,520 Mike Robinson. 1463 01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:47,520 Mike Robinson, given back his bike. 1464 01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:48,380 Thank you. 1465 01:04:48,380 --> 01:04:49,480 And I'm going to give back. 1466 01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,560 I'm proud to say it on here. 1467 01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:51,660 Just give me my fucking bike. 1468 01:04:51,660 --> 01:04:53,920 How you live here for a year, dude. 1469 01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:54,720 For free. 1470 01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:57,120 You know, your fucking bike. 1471 01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:58,100 What the heck? 1472 01:04:58,100 --> 01:05:03,260 Every I feel like like you become a true Chicagoan when you steal someone's bike. 1473 01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:06,040 I stole a bike. I stole bikes in college. 1474 01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,740 Yeah. So what we would do is we would steal bikes 1475 01:05:08,740 --> 01:05:13,420 to go back from the bars because our frat house is kind of a little bit far away. 1476 01:05:13,980 --> 01:05:15,380 And then there's this bridge. 1477 01:05:15,380 --> 01:05:19,460 We would drive to this bridge, throw the bike in the river and then slow red flags. 1478 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,620 It's a total white privilege move. 1479 01:05:22,620 --> 01:05:23,960 Colonizer move. 1480 01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:26,700 There was the river was just full of bikes. 1481 01:05:26,700 --> 01:05:28,700 It's just such a piece of shit thing to do. 1482 01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:33,000 And that's really like there's only loose bikes, you know, lock your bike. 1483 01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:35,340 It's like who cares? We're rebels. 1484 01:05:35,340 --> 01:05:37,100 It's like it's like Darwin. 1485 01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:38,140 I love bikes. 1486 01:05:38,140 --> 01:05:39,140 It's like Darwinism. 1487 01:05:39,140 --> 01:05:44,480 So it's like if you're if you're too dumb to just like use a bike for free 1488 01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,280 so you can get around 1489 01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,480 instead of just leaving on the bridge. 1490 01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:51,860 Like we don't have enough parking. 1491 01:05:51,860 --> 01:05:55,360 Well, I got to get rid of the proof and make sure they don't find the fingerprints. 1492 01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:58,400 The CSI is all over those bike stealings. 1493 01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:00,400 What thrill did you get out of that? 1494 01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,560 Like I didn't. 1495 01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:04,700 Got me home faster than I would just, you know, I've worked up this bike. 1496 01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,260 I can't keep stolen property. 1497 01:06:06,260 --> 01:06:09,280 I was throwing the river. Oh, yeah. 1498 01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:11,200 Oh, that's actually kind of smart. 1499 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:12,340 Yeah, right. 1500 01:06:12,340 --> 01:06:14,580 That's crazy that you lived right next to a river, too. 1501 01:06:14,580 --> 01:06:16,480 That's yeah. Wow. 1502 01:06:16,480 --> 01:06:19,180 I were Iowa River. 1503 01:06:19,180 --> 01:06:20,520 Oh, I oh, yeah. Fuck it. 1504 01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:21,280 Right in there. 1505 01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,580 The most basic ass river. Yeah. 1506 01:06:23,580 --> 01:06:26,080 Where do you go to Chicago? 1507 01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:28,920 You're so basic you stuck around. 1508 01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:33,080 Yeah, no, I'm too scared to go anywhere else. 1509 01:06:33,460 --> 01:06:34,620 I mean, still. 1510 01:06:34,620 --> 01:06:37,000 Oh, it's because I'm coin shortage. 1511 01:06:37,220 --> 01:06:39,300 Oh, yeah. You're sure I'm coin and broke. 1512 01:06:39,300 --> 01:06:40,200 I have some. 1513 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:43,400 How am I going to get home with my money? 1514 01:06:43,400 --> 01:06:45,860 You do. Yeah. 1515 01:06:45,860 --> 01:06:47,940 Michael, you are. 1516 01:06:47,940 --> 01:06:50,300 Are they they're worth like a million dollars, though, right? 1517 01:06:50,300 --> 01:06:52,240 Well, once I'd love to steal them. 1518 01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:56,780 If if if if DJ makes it to the inauguration, then 1519 01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,780 they'll be worth that much. 1520 01:06:58,780 --> 01:07:00,520 I mean, he's going to be our next president. 1521 01:07:00,520 --> 01:07:04,760 So they're definitely going to be million worth million quadrillion coins. 1522 01:07:04,780 --> 01:07:05,520 I think so. 1523 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:08,260 And then I have the thousand dollar bill and that was going to shoot up 1524 01:07:08,820 --> 01:07:11,960 because the you know, the way is that real? Yeah. 1525 01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:13,900 Gold played. 1526 01:07:13,900 --> 01:07:15,500 I don't know about that. 1527 01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:17,940 I feel like this is kind of feels like Beanie Babies. 1528 01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:19,260 No, he had it minted. 1529 01:07:19,260 --> 01:07:21,140 It feels like it could be worth more than money. 1530 01:07:21,140 --> 01:07:24,700 No, yeah. He had the thousand dollar bill minted while he was in office. 1531 01:07:25,100 --> 01:07:28,820 It was one of the last things he did before he left office because he was like. 1532 01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,780 If I have a billion. 1533 01:07:34,380 --> 01:07:37,020 He's saying and he's saying if I have a billion dollars, 1534 01:07:37,060 --> 01:07:40,720 yeah, I can't fit that in a room, you know, in cash. 1535 01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:44,660 Yeah. So I did make it thousand dollar bills. 1536 01:07:45,700 --> 01:07:48,760 So you fit a billion dollars in a room easily easier. 1537 01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,380 The keys. Can you say that in Donald Trump's voice? 1538 01:07:51,860 --> 01:07:55,800 Say what? I couldn't fit a billion dollars. 1539 01:07:57,460 --> 01:07:59,600 Steal bikes. It's fun. 1540 01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:03,560 Still, no one can ever trust. 1541 01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,840 Oh, we also steal wheelchairs on people's porches. 1542 01:08:05,860 --> 01:08:07,940 Oh, my God. What the fuck? 1543 01:08:07,940 --> 01:08:10,340 No, but listen, no, no, you listen to me. 1544 01:08:10,380 --> 01:08:12,240 Listen to me. Listen to me. 1545 01:08:12,240 --> 01:08:13,280 Listen to me. 1546 01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:16,240 Iowa City is like a full college, is fully a college town. 1547 01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:19,220 And these were normally like like, you know, 1548 01:08:19,380 --> 01:08:22,480 they're just fucking wheelchairs, like sitting there for some reason. 1549 01:08:22,480 --> 01:08:24,660 There was a people like me that just had a wheelchair 1550 01:08:24,660 --> 01:08:25,820 that they would fuck around with. 1551 01:08:25,820 --> 01:08:28,720 And we would just take it off their porch. 1552 01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:31,960 Oh, OK. You made it sound really weird. 1553 01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:33,860 It was like, you better be positive. 1554 01:08:33,860 --> 01:08:34,960 Yeah, you bet. 1555 01:08:34,960 --> 01:08:37,140 We did steal one wheelchair from a hospital. 1556 01:08:37,300 --> 01:08:38,800 Oh, that's OK. 1557 01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:40,900 It had a track. It had a tracker. 1558 01:08:40,900 --> 01:08:43,040 Oh, well, you got fucked. 1559 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:45,340 No, we do. No, we just got rid of the tracker. 1560 01:08:45,340 --> 01:08:46,480 We're smart. 1561 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:50,580 So someone went to I'm really glad for a poor patient. 1562 01:08:50,780 --> 01:08:53,680 I'm really good at balancing on a I could do a bunch of tricks on a wheelchair. 1563 01:08:55,180 --> 01:08:57,320 I'm like one. I'm like one of the best. 1564 01:08:57,320 --> 01:09:00,860 Can you know I haven't stolen a bunch of wheelchairs? 1565 01:09:01,420 --> 01:09:03,260 OK, well, maybe you should. 1566 01:09:03,260 --> 01:09:05,560 And then I got from a junkyard. 1567 01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:07,000 Yeah. Oh, really? 1568 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,160 Yeah. So I honestly can do tricks to 1569 01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:11,500 but it's evil. 1570 01:09:11,500 --> 01:09:15,900 Yeah, the one that the one off the can't compete even with those people anyway. 1571 01:09:16,100 --> 01:09:18,540 I bet I'm better than you people. 1572 01:09:18,540 --> 01:09:19,840 Now I bet I'm better than you. 1573 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:23,980 Really? All I did for a year is just spin around balancing 1574 01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:26,480 sparrows spinning around as fast as shit. 1575 01:09:26,820 --> 01:09:29,180 Yeah, it's like, no, we should. 1576 01:09:29,180 --> 01:09:33,580 I could be suspended in an error for indefinitely. 1577 01:09:33,620 --> 01:09:35,720 Are there any wheelchair comedians left? 1578 01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:38,600 There was competition in Chicago. 1579 01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:42,040 Yeah, there was there was Crypt Daddy and he died. 1580 01:09:42,440 --> 01:09:43,780 Rest in peace. 1581 01:09:43,780 --> 01:09:45,940 Oh, my gosh. Yeah, dude. 1582 01:09:45,940 --> 01:09:49,180 I took photos of him like me and him were both at his last. 1583 01:09:49,220 --> 01:09:50,780 Yeah, I was at his last site. 1584 01:09:50,780 --> 01:09:52,420 Oh, I was there, too. Yeah. Really? 1585 01:09:52,420 --> 01:09:52,920 Yeah. Yeah. 1586 01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:55,060 Max might have might have caused it. 1587 01:09:55,060 --> 01:09:56,120 It's bullshit. 1588 01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:57,860 No, but I didn't give him smell. 1589 01:09:57,860 --> 01:10:00,620 I did invite him on the podcast and he accepted and then 1590 01:10:03,100 --> 01:10:03,860 you should. 1591 01:10:03,860 --> 01:10:08,240 OK, no, but he did give him smelling salts and I didn't give him smelling salt. 1592 01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:10,140 That's bullshit. Never had smelling salts. 1593 01:10:10,140 --> 01:10:11,680 I didn't give him smelling salts. 1594 01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:18,180 I would. So Dylan is trying to he's upset about because Dylan thought 1595 01:10:18,180 --> 01:10:19,780 I tried to prevent it. I said, let me. 1596 01:10:19,780 --> 01:10:24,020 OK, so I had these really heavy smelling salts when you would sniff them. 1597 01:10:24,020 --> 01:10:26,580 Like it would make you like cry pretty much. Yeah. 1598 01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:30,160 And then I was watching Dylan crying, laughing 1599 01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:33,560 and I was laughing at his jokes like like, you know, because I'm his friend. 1600 01:10:33,900 --> 01:10:37,860 And then like I also take pictures of me looking angry. 1601 01:10:37,860 --> 01:10:41,160 There's like a couple of me like chilling, like looking at. 1602 01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:44,000 Oh, really? But you know, it's probably like sitting on my. 1603 01:10:44,000 --> 01:10:47,640 It looks like it looks like I was crying, laughing, but I wasn't at all. 1604 01:10:48,980 --> 01:10:49,780 I was just normal. 1605 01:10:49,780 --> 01:10:52,340 No, you said I was help. I was help laughing. 1606 01:10:52,980 --> 01:10:55,220 Yeah, because I had heard the jokes before. 1607 01:10:55,220 --> 01:10:58,960 Or sure, just long, long story, long story short. 1608 01:10:59,460 --> 01:11:01,120 Long story shortage. 1609 01:11:01,120 --> 01:11:04,260 Yeah, we never know the chain reaction, the caterpillar effect 1610 01:11:04,260 --> 01:11:06,560 that caused the train reaction. 1611 01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:09,800 Any of us three could have caused the butterfly effect. 1612 01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:13,840 Just the wrong, you know, just he's like, oh, she's taking a picture of me. 1613 01:11:13,840 --> 01:11:17,280 Throws off his set, throws off everything after that. 1614 01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:19,080 I have a smelling salts. 1615 01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:20,680 I have a conspiracy. 1616 01:11:20,680 --> 01:11:22,840 He just like you dare to eat that piece of pizza. 1617 01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:24,220 Oh, he went in the elevator. 1618 01:11:24,220 --> 01:11:26,280 Yeah, he went in the elevator with Tina. 1619 01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:28,920 Tina choked him to death. 1620 01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:31,320 It's what did he choke on? 1621 01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:32,260 Like that's why. 1622 01:11:32,260 --> 01:11:33,560 Well, yeah, he ate. 1623 01:11:33,560 --> 01:11:35,420 So they stopped giving us pizza. 1624 01:11:35,420 --> 01:11:38,660 He ate some pizza and then and then he ate some. 1625 01:11:38,660 --> 01:11:41,840 I'm so not quick, but you can't eat the pizza. 1626 01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:45,440 What happened was he ate some pizza and then Tina, 1627 01:11:45,740 --> 01:11:47,880 Tina picked him up by the neck like the Undertaker 1628 01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,740 and picked him up like this and slammed on the ground. 1629 01:11:51,140 --> 01:11:53,340 Put him back in his chair and said it was the pizza. 1630 01:11:53,340 --> 01:11:55,380 Yeah, it wasn't vegan. Yeah. 1631 01:11:55,380 --> 01:11:57,620 I mean, this isn't a fact. This is just me. 1632 01:11:58,820 --> 01:12:02,420 Yeah, I mean, it's very likely I have a couple little birds 1633 01:12:02,420 --> 01:12:04,420 that have kind of given me a little bit of insight. 1634 01:12:04,420 --> 01:12:07,660 I mean, he was going to be the next big thing to him. 1635 01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:09,700 He was very funny. He was so fucking funny. 1636 01:12:09,700 --> 01:12:11,600 He was like in a usually he had a lot of that. 1637 01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:13,660 He did. He also did the open. 1638 01:12:13,660 --> 01:12:16,300 Yeah, you see some of the people that on Kill Tony, 1639 01:12:16,300 --> 01:12:18,000 they just love them. 1640 01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:19,440 Like they would have loved him. 1641 01:12:19,440 --> 01:12:20,340 But they killed a cryptid. 1642 01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:22,880 He would have out competed all the other. 1643 01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,840 I don't know what you want to call it. 1644 01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:28,140 I think I think I think I think Tina killed him 1645 01:12:28,140 --> 01:12:30,280 because she wanted to be the next big thing. 1646 01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:32,680 She's like, you're never going to show me. 1647 01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,680 She's out here. 1648 01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:36,680 She's on my show. 1649 01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:37,920 She said, I'm big. 1650 01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:39,560 I'm the next big thing. 1651 01:12:39,560 --> 01:12:42,060 Not you. I'll crush. 1652 01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:48,140 Tina, if you're listening, this is a total fabric fabricated joke. 1653 01:12:48,300 --> 01:12:51,060 I remember like unknown and then rest in peace to crypt. 1654 01:12:51,060 --> 01:12:52,240 Daddy, I was there that night. 1655 01:12:52,240 --> 01:12:55,100 Very sad. Like someone told me really sad. 1656 01:12:55,100 --> 01:12:56,840 It's really tough when you're hanging out a bunch of comics. 1657 01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,740 The best pictures came out of his set, though. 1658 01:12:58,740 --> 01:13:02,240 He was pretty still the great thing. 1659 01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,020 I didn't believe anybody at first because you're hanging out a bunch of comics. 1660 01:13:05,020 --> 01:13:08,120 He was the easiest to photograph. Yeah. 1661 01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:10,060 No, that's what I'm trying to say. 1662 01:13:10,060 --> 01:13:11,380 I just had to sit in like one place. 1663 01:13:11,380 --> 01:13:13,520 I was like, thank God. I don't have to fucking know. 1664 01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,420 Yeah, there. 1665 01:13:14,420 --> 01:13:17,500 Well, also, if you have spider legs, you're easy to take pictures of. 1666 01:13:18,020 --> 01:13:21,360 He could have been still everyone was still looking at me with my normal legs. 1667 01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:23,500 Like they're like looking at me like I was a nuisance. 1668 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:26,040 I stopped taking photos, taking pictures. 1669 01:13:26,140 --> 01:13:27,840 Yeah, I was just too compact. 1670 01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:30,380 You know, you're like Gavin nuisance. 1671 01:13:30,380 --> 01:13:32,740 Yeah, I'm no, I am fucking nuisance. 1672 01:13:32,740 --> 01:13:33,840 No, I could feel it. 1673 01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:35,320 I can feel the air sometimes when I walk in. 1674 01:13:35,320 --> 01:13:37,840 I'm like, oh, gee. Oh, me. Oh, my. 1675 01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:39,980 Is that why you do so good at the annoyance? 1676 01:13:40,980 --> 01:13:44,080 Yeah, because they fucking love me there because I'm so fucking annoying. 1677 01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:46,160 They're like, wow, welcome to the club. 1678 01:13:46,160 --> 01:13:47,460 I can't wait to be a friend. 1679 01:13:47,460 --> 01:13:50,260 I think you let in, you know, they said that I'm too. 1680 01:13:50,420 --> 01:13:52,400 They're not annoying enough. 1681 01:13:52,400 --> 01:13:54,940 I would love for you to do an open mic set there. 1682 01:13:54,940 --> 01:13:56,760 I want to see, like, everyone's reactions. 1683 01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:57,700 I could do. I could. 1684 01:13:57,700 --> 01:14:01,000 I feel like it's it's not going to be so not all of my. 1685 01:14:01,580 --> 01:14:04,640 So I have like I have like barely any race stuff in my material. 1686 01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:08,240 OK, great. And I could definitely do a set there that would. 1687 01:14:08,540 --> 01:14:10,040 It's probably not true. 1688 01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:11,480 I've done a lot. 1689 01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:14,280 I've done a lot of Coles, and that's pretty left room. 1690 01:14:15,120 --> 01:14:16,920 Oh, well, no, Coles. 1691 01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:19,820 It is. No, I mean, yes, it is. 1692 01:14:19,820 --> 01:14:21,860 But like they're like drunk, so then they laugh at it 1693 01:14:21,860 --> 01:14:23,660 because they think it's ironic. 1694 01:14:23,660 --> 01:14:25,420 Well, it is little that they know. 1695 01:14:25,420 --> 01:14:29,760 Oh, yeah, but they're not as bad as annoyance or my buddy. 1696 01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:32,700 Coles is the hardest mic to do because I run on antidepressants 1697 01:14:32,700 --> 01:14:33,500 and have separate ones. 1698 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:37,100 And Alex, are you are you are you becoming one of those people 1699 01:14:37,100 --> 01:14:39,840 who doesn't understand irony anymore? 1700 01:14:40,440 --> 01:14:42,740 What's that? No, she's talking about irony. 1701 01:14:43,380 --> 01:14:45,740 Are you iron deficient? I have iron gummies. 1702 01:14:45,740 --> 01:14:47,240 Mm hmm. You take. 1703 01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:49,380 Oh, yeah, you overdose on. 1704 01:14:49,380 --> 01:14:51,420 I I I too. 1705 01:14:51,420 --> 01:14:53,180 I eat too much iron. 1706 01:14:53,180 --> 01:14:56,460 Yeah, that's why I'm so ironic and some people don't like it. 1707 01:14:57,120 --> 01:14:58,620 You showed up in your blood. 1708 01:14:58,620 --> 01:15:04,800 Ebony and irony fit together in perfect comedy. 1709 01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:05,600 I've been watching. 1710 01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:06,440 No, I understand. 1711 01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:13,840 I understand our irony, irony, spiral, spiral, irony, irony, 1712 01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:15,980 I me. So I your knee. 1713 01:15:15,980 --> 01:15:18,540 Yeah, there's dramatic. 1714 01:15:18,540 --> 01:15:23,740 There's the magic, somatic, somantics. 1715 01:15:23,740 --> 01:15:25,420 Wait, really? That's one of them. 1716 01:15:25,420 --> 01:15:30,020 That's OK. Somatic, sarcastic, anti-semantic, chantix. 1717 01:15:31,060 --> 01:15:33,560 Chantix. Yeah. 1718 01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:37,220 I used to smoke and I started taking chantix. 1719 01:15:37,220 --> 01:15:39,000 I'm really older. 1720 01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:41,200 So Mac has a handful of impressions. 1721 01:15:41,200 --> 01:15:43,560 That was your lesbian. 1722 01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:45,640 It's a new kind of Jodie Foster voice. 1723 01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:46,500 What impression? 1724 01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:48,600 Do you want Dr. Lector? 1725 01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:51,880 I just think there's some there's some like he's getting possessed. 1726 01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:54,840 And I am I am possessed by my new lesbian voice. 1727 01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:56,520 I got a new job with the Jew. 1728 01:15:56,520 --> 01:16:01,380 I love the zebra and I bought a new I got a new lease. 1729 01:16:01,660 --> 01:16:04,120 I got a lease on a Subaru Outback for my dogs. 1730 01:16:04,760 --> 01:16:07,060 Oh, my God. Yeah, I was about to say, where are the dogs? 1731 01:16:07,300 --> 01:16:11,700 Mm hmm. I got the big dogs and I don't want kids. 1732 01:16:11,700 --> 01:16:12,760 I want dogs. 1733 01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:17,100 Mm hmm. I'll be dressing up for their cute costumes for my wife and I. 1734 01:16:17,100 --> 01:16:20,040 All the police gay dudes being a couple of kids. 1735 01:16:21,100 --> 01:16:22,780 All these gay guys getting kids. 1736 01:16:22,780 --> 01:16:24,680 I just want dogs. 1737 01:16:25,740 --> 01:16:27,240 That's all I can do anyway. 1738 01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:30,440 They tell me to tell me I got to put down my raw ruler tomorrow, 1739 01:16:30,440 --> 01:16:31,540 but I'm not going to do it. 1740 01:16:31,540 --> 01:16:33,380 It was just a three year old kid who walked by. 1741 01:16:33,380 --> 01:16:35,620 It's just doesn't matter. 1742 01:16:35,620 --> 01:16:36,780 I wonder what it was. 1743 01:16:36,780 --> 01:16:38,320 It was in my fucking lawn. 1744 01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:39,660 I wonder if there's a study. 1745 01:16:39,660 --> 01:16:41,320 They hate me because I'm gay. 1746 01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:44,660 I wonder if there's a study out there like what's better? 1747 01:16:44,660 --> 01:16:50,440 Like like gay male parents or or lesbian parents 1748 01:16:51,300 --> 01:16:54,640 or just like what would the probably lesbians are not funny. 1749 01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:55,940 Sorry. No, they are. 1750 01:16:55,940 --> 01:16:58,940 But like not if they're if they don't have a special. 1751 01:16:59,040 --> 01:17:00,240 Yeah, they don't understand. 1752 01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:04,780 Well, also if they're both like if they both like have like buzz cuts 1753 01:17:04,780 --> 01:17:08,760 and cargo shorts on, I would say that that's the most abusive relationships 1754 01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:09,920 because a lot of times you get the list. 1755 01:17:09,920 --> 01:17:15,160 You get you need to have the the lipstick lesbian and then the the butcher. 1756 01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:17,720 Yeah, you know. 1757 01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:20,200 Yeah, you need the like the modern family. 1758 01:17:20,240 --> 01:17:24,840 The funny thing is, there is still kind of masculine and feminine 1759 01:17:25,340 --> 01:17:27,940 even within those same sex like relationships. 1760 01:17:27,940 --> 01:17:31,500 A lot of times they're still like the gender roles like you have to get gay 1761 01:17:31,500 --> 01:17:33,240 or more. No way. 1762 01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:34,840 And yeah. 1763 01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:37,420 Whoa, that's crazy that you've whoa. 1764 01:17:38,220 --> 01:17:39,480 I've never realized that. 1765 01:17:39,480 --> 01:17:40,780 Whoa, that's insane. 1766 01:17:40,780 --> 01:17:45,080 I thought like, wait, I thought, wait, no, I thought liberals hate gender. 1767 01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:46,420 Are you fucking serious? 1768 01:17:46,420 --> 01:17:50,360 Mack was just saying and then I thought liberals hate gender roles. 1769 01:17:50,920 --> 01:17:52,400 No, I feel like 1770 01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:56,240 you need that's why it's polarity attracts. 1771 01:17:56,240 --> 01:18:01,800 And even if you're attracted to another man or another woman, you still 1772 01:18:02,180 --> 01:18:04,180 you want the other thing. 1773 01:18:04,180 --> 01:18:06,680 I mean, if anything, I'm liberal. 1774 01:18:06,740 --> 01:18:09,440 I'm very I'm open minded. 1775 01:18:09,440 --> 01:18:13,480 The problem is the the people that go by the name liberal 1776 01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:17,660 are very not open minded to anything except for their own ideology. 1777 01:18:18,480 --> 01:18:22,220 So then they don't even know that they're in a straight relationship. 1778 01:18:22,260 --> 01:18:25,560 Yeah, they think that they're in a gay relationship, but really, 1779 01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,600 it's an impression. 1780 01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:28,860 It's an homage. 1781 01:18:28,860 --> 01:18:31,800 It's a little Easter egg. 1782 01:18:32,100 --> 01:18:36,880 A lot of shout out a lot of projection on the other side on the on the left. 1783 01:18:36,880 --> 01:18:41,120 Yeah, it's like they're like, you're a fascist. 1784 01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:46,420 It's like, but we want to take away free speech and guns and have an oligarchy. 1785 01:18:47,060 --> 01:18:51,700 Yeah, which is like all the rules of being a fascist. 1786 01:18:52,060 --> 01:18:53,900 Yeah, and I feel like rules, dude. 1787 01:18:53,900 --> 01:18:56,640 I don't know. To me, I'm kind of an anarchist. 1788 01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,040 Do you say? Yeah. 1789 01:18:58,040 --> 01:19:00,100 To hell with that. To hell with the rules. 1790 01:19:00,100 --> 01:19:02,540 With all this formality is in order. 1791 01:19:02,540 --> 01:19:04,880 Yeah, dude, I chaos. 1792 01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:07,120 Listen, I don't follow. I don't follow the rules. 1793 01:19:07,120 --> 01:19:08,480 I'll tell you that much. 1794 01:19:08,480 --> 01:19:10,720 I I we set the rules. 1795 01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:13,120 Yeah, someone says someone hands me a set of rules. 1796 01:19:13,120 --> 01:19:16,620 I rip up that piece of paper and I say, try to give you. 1797 01:19:16,660 --> 01:19:18,700 Yeah. So tell me what not to do. 1798 01:19:18,700 --> 01:19:22,360 Yeah, I say I just I just broke the rules. 1799 01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:23,660 What are you going to do about it? 1800 01:19:23,660 --> 01:19:24,660 I have spider legs. 1801 01:19:24,660 --> 01:19:28,540 Mm hmm. You kick your feet up sometimes on the desk. 1802 01:19:28,540 --> 01:19:31,500 I saw that last week. You had your feet up on the desk. 1803 01:19:31,500 --> 01:19:35,300 I walk in. He's counting his money. 1804 01:19:35,500 --> 01:19:36,600 Mac, what are you doing? 1805 01:19:36,600 --> 01:19:39,380 He said, I'm making a lot of money. 1806 01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:41,080 It's blood money. 1807 01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:43,180 And I'm not telling you how I made it. 1808 01:19:43,180 --> 01:19:45,620 I said it for your own safety. 1809 01:19:45,620 --> 01:19:48,940 I said, for your own safety, I'm not telling you how I made it 1810 01:19:49,220 --> 01:19:52,260 for plausible deniability because I'm your friend. 1811 01:19:52,420 --> 01:19:53,560 And it's tough. 1812 01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:55,720 And sometimes people think rules are tough. 1813 01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:56,760 Love right now. 1814 01:19:56,760 --> 01:19:59,520 And sometimes people learn lessons in friendships. 1815 01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:01,680 And like honesty is important. 1816 01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:06,060 But if it's going to implicate them in crimes, then protect them. 1817 01:20:06,060 --> 01:20:07,320 You don't tell me exactly. 1818 01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:09,660 You don't tell them and you tell them it's for their own good. 1819 01:20:09,800 --> 01:20:14,160 Me and Mac don't talk business when either of us could be wearing a wire. 1820 01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:17,100 You never know. So we don't talk business. 1821 01:20:17,140 --> 01:20:18,200 I'm always wearing a wire. 1822 01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:23,040 Mm hmm. Like, I don't know if you guys ever seen the wire. 1823 01:20:23,040 --> 01:20:26,100 It'd be funny to always wear a wire. 1824 01:20:26,100 --> 01:20:28,680 Yeah, it'd be funny if you were like a CIA plant. 1825 01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:29,680 That'd be funny. 1826 01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:33,180 Edgar's CIA actually gave me my plant, Edgar. 1827 01:20:33,580 --> 01:20:39,080 I was I noticed that Carlos Mencia's last name, it says CIA men, 1828 01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:40,220 but it also says men. 1829 01:20:40,220 --> 01:20:44,020 So do you think he's a gay CIA agent? Mencia. 1830 01:20:45,060 --> 01:20:46,260 There's this thing. What do you think? 1831 01:20:46,260 --> 01:20:47,860 Coin shortage men. 1832 01:20:47,860 --> 01:20:51,640 So Carlos Mencia, more like Carlos Mencia. 1833 01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:52,760 I mean, he doesn't even last name. 1834 01:20:52,760 --> 01:20:55,100 Man, CIA. 1835 01:20:55,100 --> 01:20:59,940 So do you think, OK, he's a gay CIA agent? Um. 1836 01:21:01,580 --> 01:21:02,440 He's appropriate. 1837 01:21:02,440 --> 01:21:05,120 His real name is like a German name. 1838 01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:07,680 Is it like Ted or Ned or something? Ted Cruz? 1839 01:21:08,220 --> 01:21:12,620 No, he really is the guy who had that sitcom, right? 1840 01:21:13,080 --> 01:21:14,760 Might have been the family. 1841 01:21:14,760 --> 01:21:17,460 It was very funny. But with the lowrider theme song. 1842 01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:21,200 Yeah, I believe George Lopez. 1843 01:21:21,200 --> 01:21:22,760 Oh, wait, who's that? 1844 01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:24,500 I thought you were being out there. 1845 01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:26,000 Who is that? 1846 01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:28,000 No, wait, it is George Lopez. 1847 01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:29,600 Oh, George Lopez. Yeah. 1848 01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:30,540 Might have been might have been. 1849 01:21:30,540 --> 01:21:32,180 See, it was always that might have been. 1850 01:21:32,180 --> 01:21:33,580 See, it was always on before. 1851 01:21:33,580 --> 01:21:34,780 I can't tell. 1852 01:21:34,780 --> 01:21:37,880 It was might have been see it than the Chappelle show, I believe. OK. 1853 01:21:38,980 --> 01:21:40,320 George Lopez is a joke. 1854 01:21:40,320 --> 01:21:45,280 I love both of them. But wait, he's like he's like Nick Fuentes, his friend. 1855 01:21:45,280 --> 01:21:49,360 Right. Carlos Mencia fell out of grace because he he got caught stealing jokes. 1856 01:21:49,420 --> 01:21:51,860 I think they're oh, I like him. 1857 01:21:51,860 --> 01:21:55,740 Who is Nick? Wait, Nick Fuentes or Anthony Fuentes? 1858 01:21:56,500 --> 01:21:58,300 Anthony. Oh, Anthony Fuentes. 1859 01:21:58,300 --> 01:22:00,500 Nick Fuentes is the white supremacist. 1860 01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:02,900 No, I'm joking. He didn't die. 1861 01:22:02,900 --> 01:22:07,880 No, he's been he's been doing a lot of stuff with my ex boss from Laugh Factory. 1862 01:22:07,880 --> 01:22:10,380 Oh, shout out Mike Crowley. Hello. 1863 01:22:10,540 --> 01:22:13,440 Oh, you know, he attacked Brian Johnson. 1864 01:22:14,620 --> 01:22:17,520 He was saying like Anthony Fuentes or Mike Crowley. 1865 01:22:17,520 --> 01:22:18,780 Well, he didn't attack him. 1866 01:22:18,780 --> 01:22:20,860 Brian Johnson was airing out some shit. 1867 01:22:20,860 --> 01:22:26,500 No, Brian Johnson was saying, hey, this Wiley J guy is like he told me, 1868 01:22:26,620 --> 01:22:27,600 I'll pay you back. 1869 01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:30,900 I gave him money to come stay at my house. 1870 01:22:31,240 --> 01:22:33,900 And then he blocked me after instead of paying me back. 1871 01:22:33,900 --> 01:22:35,160 Well, I could post. 1872 01:22:35,160 --> 01:22:39,300 And then I could post a 20 page letter about like he was like, don't nice. 1873 01:22:39,300 --> 01:22:40,900 Don't be airing shit out like this. 1874 01:22:40,900 --> 01:22:45,920 I'm like, no, Brian just got scammed, like maybe forty dollars is more to him. 1875 01:22:46,880 --> 01:22:50,420 Because he's always asking for a dollar to do his laundry. Yeah. 1876 01:22:50,420 --> 01:22:53,120 So send $40 is a lot. Yeah. 1877 01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:54,460 And it's a lot. 1878 01:22:54,460 --> 01:22:57,700 And he said even in the post that this is something that happened. 1879 01:22:57,960 --> 01:23:00,540 He's heard other people have similar situations. 1880 01:23:01,060 --> 01:23:03,240 And then Anthony's trying to defend the scammer. 1881 01:23:03,240 --> 01:23:05,780 And I'm just like, well, I was this is the opposite. 1882 01:23:05,780 --> 01:23:07,780 I think I'm going to have that guy be my roommate. 1883 01:23:07,780 --> 01:23:08,980 Well, it's a block. 1884 01:23:08,980 --> 01:23:11,140 So they owe money. 1885 01:23:11,140 --> 01:23:14,080 You know, that's who Katie Zane recommended for her to be my roommate. 1886 01:23:14,080 --> 01:23:14,780 It was this. Yeah. 1887 01:23:14,780 --> 01:23:19,120 Then he friend requested me after I was like defending Brian, like, no, 1888 01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:22,220 you you need to not protect the scammers, like 1889 01:23:22,760 --> 01:23:26,460 protect like the guy saying something about if anyone. Yeah. 1890 01:23:26,500 --> 01:23:29,760 I stay on that. He friend requested the FB for the most part. 1891 01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:33,400 Yeah. No, that's a cool way to say Facebook. 1892 01:23:33,460 --> 01:23:36,040 Yeah. Fake book. More like. Yeah. 1893 01:23:36,900 --> 01:23:38,740 Everything's AI generated now. 1894 01:23:38,740 --> 01:23:43,180 Well, there goes Internet dead and gay, gay, gay guy. 1895 01:23:43,540 --> 01:23:45,920 A gay guy. Happy people. 1896 01:23:46,320 --> 01:23:48,480 And well, that's that's what it is pretty much. 1897 01:23:48,480 --> 01:23:50,320 And then you got some videos. 1898 01:23:50,320 --> 01:23:51,660 You got to get a Hitler. 1899 01:23:51,660 --> 01:23:54,020 Yeah. Chad, Chad, LGBT. 1900 01:23:54,020 --> 01:23:56,760 Yeah. Imagine if your name was gay Hitler. 1901 01:23:57,000 --> 01:23:59,120 Gay Hitler. And this was a great drag. 1902 01:23:59,120 --> 01:24:00,960 This was before like what? 1903 01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:02,540 No, you shouldn't do that. Wait, no. 1904 01:24:02,540 --> 01:24:05,940 How long does it have to be until we can be a white guy 1905 01:24:05,940 --> 01:24:08,640 and have the Hitler mustache again? 1906 01:24:08,640 --> 01:24:11,180 Because honestly, I think we're a thousand years. 1907 01:24:11,180 --> 01:24:14,180 Michael Jordan has has the Hitler mustache. 1908 01:24:14,180 --> 01:24:17,140 I really know. I'm this is not OK. 1909 01:24:17,140 --> 01:24:20,100 Not a joke. My my. Are you doing a high? 1910 01:24:20,100 --> 01:24:21,840 Oh, is that a partner? 1911 01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:24,380 Why does everyone think that? No. 1912 01:24:24,380 --> 01:24:27,640 Wait, why does I mean, this is it? 1913 01:24:28,040 --> 01:24:30,540 Yeah. But I mean, this is like if you're a white person, 1914 01:24:30,540 --> 01:24:33,420 you raise your hand and just automatically this is a Roman emperor. 1915 01:24:33,420 --> 01:24:36,620 One of the reasons earlier, I mean, people build people 1916 01:24:36,620 --> 01:24:38,160 lose in church, you know. 1917 01:24:38,160 --> 01:24:40,860 No. Well, that yeah, but it's I recorded a wedding 1918 01:24:40,860 --> 01:24:42,160 and then everyone ended up doing that. 1919 01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:45,660 No, I like to. Yeah, it's more when you do this. 1920 01:24:45,660 --> 01:24:47,440 You hit your chest and then do it. 1921 01:24:47,440 --> 01:24:50,060 You never write the entire point A to point B. 1922 01:24:50,060 --> 01:24:52,240 Yeah. Then you march. OK. 1923 01:24:52,240 --> 01:24:55,140 Gay Hitler be like, yeah. 1924 01:24:56,040 --> 01:24:57,740 He's like this. He's like this. 1925 01:24:57,740 --> 01:25:01,440 He's hey, hey, okay. 1926 01:25:02,580 --> 01:25:05,680 Slay Hitler, bro. Slay King. 1927 01:25:06,020 --> 01:25:08,380 Like I wish he wasn't a horrible person. 1928 01:25:08,380 --> 01:25:10,880 I mean, I guess that would not make him funny then. 1929 01:25:11,520 --> 01:25:12,520 Oh, God. Yeah. 1930 01:25:12,520 --> 01:25:13,620 No, a lot of people. 1931 01:25:13,620 --> 01:25:15,720 Well, dilemma. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like. 1932 01:25:15,720 --> 01:25:16,820 You do it, Hila. 1933 01:25:16,820 --> 01:25:18,000 I don't know. Come on. 1934 01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:19,920 I don't like fashion. They didn't like his art. 1935 01:25:19,920 --> 01:25:22,200 I think that that's how I stay. 1936 01:25:22,200 --> 01:25:23,940 There's a lot of cool art that came out of it. 1937 01:25:23,940 --> 01:25:26,200 Yeah. Well, very basic art. 1938 01:25:26,500 --> 01:25:28,940 Yeah. Like propaganda posters. It's meaningful. 1939 01:25:28,940 --> 01:25:30,740 Cubism. Yeah. 1940 01:25:30,740 --> 01:25:33,140 I mean, it was all like realist art, you know, 1941 01:25:33,140 --> 01:25:35,980 not just because he hated abstract art, kind of like me. 1942 01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:39,780 But there was some really good just like 1943 01:25:40,820 --> 01:25:42,620 realistic art that was made. 1944 01:25:42,620 --> 01:25:45,160 But now we can just use the. Yeah. 1945 01:25:45,160 --> 01:25:47,720 Yeah. But what if I think it'd be kind of cool 1946 01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:49,320 if Trump was an emperor? 1947 01:25:49,320 --> 01:25:51,960 He can he paint? No. 1948 01:25:53,220 --> 01:25:55,460 Maybe we can get the hunter Biden. 1949 01:25:55,460 --> 01:25:57,540 He'll get Hunter Biden paint for him. 1950 01:25:57,540 --> 01:25:59,040 A hundred. He'll get George Bush. 1951 01:25:59,040 --> 01:26:00,800 Circles, though, when he's on crack. 1952 01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:02,180 Yeah. So he'll get Hunter. 1953 01:26:02,180 --> 01:26:03,200 He'll be the emperor. 1954 01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,400 He'll dissolve the Senate. 1955 01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:06,680 The W can paint. 1956 01:26:06,680 --> 01:26:07,580 And then I can tell. 1957 01:26:07,580 --> 01:26:08,540 He's the only one. 1958 01:26:08,540 --> 01:26:11,140 I honestly never seen Hunter Biden's paintings. 1959 01:26:11,140 --> 01:26:13,540 It's crazy. 1960 01:26:13,540 --> 01:26:15,500 Oh, apparently he. 1961 01:26:15,500 --> 01:26:16,500 I don't know if you should. 1962 01:26:16,500 --> 01:26:17,700 Apparently. Are they bad? 1963 01:26:17,700 --> 01:26:18,840 Apparently, they're great. 1964 01:26:18,840 --> 01:26:21,920 You want to keep like your image of him in your head. 1965 01:26:22,180 --> 01:26:23,520 This is a true story. 1966 01:26:23,520 --> 01:26:25,320 This is I love him. 1967 01:26:25,320 --> 01:26:27,180 You don't want to see his paintings. 1968 01:26:27,180 --> 01:26:29,660 I think Mark. I think Mark Andreessen said this. 1969 01:26:29,660 --> 01:26:31,080 Dylan, very funny. 1970 01:26:31,080 --> 01:26:32,160 Hunter Biden. 1971 01:26:32,160 --> 01:26:35,000 So this billionaire let her 1972 01:26:35,820 --> 01:26:40,200 or Hunter Biden was renting out a luxury like penthouse 1973 01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:41,580 and they couldn't pay the rent. 1974 01:26:41,580 --> 01:26:46,440 So he gave him art and the art was like a book, like art 1975 01:26:46,440 --> 01:26:47,580 with his feces. 1976 01:26:47,580 --> 01:26:49,980 It was like this is. 1977 01:26:49,980 --> 01:26:51,580 It's not terrible. 1978 01:26:51,580 --> 01:26:53,980 Yes. He tried to use it as rent. 1979 01:26:53,980 --> 01:26:55,780 But he gave someone shit paintings. 1980 01:26:55,780 --> 01:26:58,320 Yeah, literally. Yes. 1981 01:26:58,320 --> 01:27:00,620 And he's like this is because I'm a Biden. 1982 01:27:00,620 --> 01:27:03,720 This is he gave someone paintings made of his. 1983 01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:05,560 They're like, no, this is not OK. 1984 01:27:05,560 --> 01:27:07,860 This is not rent. And then he ended up getting pardoned. 1985 01:27:07,860 --> 01:27:10,800 Well, it's because he has this royal blood where you think 1986 01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:13,540 this is just worth more than real paint. 1987 01:27:14,300 --> 01:27:17,440 You got to be real narcissistic, like a book of painting 1988 01:27:17,440 --> 01:27:21,640 of your shit with painting with your literal shit 1989 01:27:21,920 --> 01:27:23,240 and thinking that that's good. 1990 01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:25,420 Trying to pay rent with it. 1991 01:27:25,420 --> 01:27:27,480 It is just a disconnect. 1992 01:27:27,480 --> 01:27:29,620 It's kind of cool, though. 1993 01:27:29,620 --> 01:27:31,080 This is cool. 1994 01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:34,020 Yeah. There's no I don't know anyone that's trying. 1995 01:27:34,020 --> 01:27:36,520 Hunter Hardin, he's changed his name to Hunter Pardon. 1996 01:27:36,520 --> 01:27:39,300 Yeah. Yeah. I didn't bite at me. 1997 01:27:39,300 --> 01:27:41,860 Oh, my God. You had that beautiful joke where it's like 1998 01:27:41,860 --> 01:27:45,340 gather, but yeah, that's what you spit it. 1999 01:27:46,440 --> 01:27:48,880 Yeah. Well, just that word for word, please. 2000 01:27:50,100 --> 01:27:52,080 I love drugs, folks. 2001 01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:55,680 And then they're like, yeah, not that much of the crowd. 2002 01:27:55,880 --> 01:27:56,980 Yeah. Wait, hold on. 2003 01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:59,420 We need to wait. No, we'll start. 2004 01:27:59,420 --> 01:28:01,620 We'll start. All right. No. 2005 01:28:01,620 --> 01:28:04,860 The energy is like, I just think it's like that line doesn't get 2006 01:28:04,860 --> 01:28:07,200 that much. But it's sort of OK. 2007 01:28:08,160 --> 01:28:10,000 Here. No, no. It gets like a yeah. 2008 01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:12,700 About me. I love drugs. 2009 01:28:14,100 --> 01:28:14,960 Yeah. 2010 01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:20,080 I'm kind of like Hunter Biden with less resources. 2011 01:28:22,680 --> 01:28:25,280 I'm kind of like, yeah, they were guided. 2012 01:28:25,280 --> 01:28:27,420 And then the laughter builds as people. 2013 01:28:32,080 --> 01:28:34,260 Wait, no, I'm sorry. 2014 01:28:34,260 --> 01:28:37,260 And then he gets it. He gets a ten dollar check. 2015 01:28:37,260 --> 01:28:39,360 Yeah. Yeah. I got it there. 2016 01:28:40,560 --> 01:28:42,360 A rich man. 2017 01:28:42,800 --> 01:28:46,040 No, but then Hunter Hirsch has a joke to Hunter. 2018 01:28:46,840 --> 01:28:48,240 His brother's name is Hunter. 2019 01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:51,940 And he's like, Hunter has a brother named Hunter or no. 2020 01:28:51,940 --> 01:28:53,200 What am I saying? 2021 01:28:53,200 --> 01:28:54,980 I know he's saying his other brother's names. 2022 01:28:54,980 --> 01:28:56,120 He's like shooter or something. 2023 01:28:56,120 --> 01:28:58,680 Someone should have a real name like Gatherer. 2024 01:28:58,680 --> 01:29:00,320 And so me and him are just. 2025 01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:02,580 Oh, your joke is like so much better, though. 2026 01:29:02,580 --> 01:29:06,580 It like is he is he is he your Dando CMO? 2027 01:29:07,860 --> 01:29:10,320 Oh, shit. Why? 2028 01:29:10,320 --> 01:29:12,760 Oh, no. I won't say. 2029 01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:15,300 These people are kind of like the all universe like 2030 01:29:16,060 --> 01:29:16,860 versions of you. 2031 01:29:16,860 --> 01:29:20,500 That would be that would be funny if because we'll see. 2032 01:29:20,500 --> 01:29:23,780 Dan doesn't Dan doesn't like really steal my jokes that much. 2033 01:29:23,780 --> 01:29:24,580 Really? 2034 01:29:25,380 --> 01:29:27,980 Just like how Hunter doesn't like really steal your jokes. 2035 01:29:27,980 --> 01:29:30,380 Yeah. But you could say that he's he's your joke. 2036 01:29:30,380 --> 01:29:31,340 He steals jokes from you. 2037 01:29:31,340 --> 01:29:33,580 You have a real person that steals jokes from you. 2038 01:29:34,320 --> 01:29:36,380 But you need to start going after Hunter. 2039 01:29:38,580 --> 01:29:40,220 I think that it's OK. 2040 01:29:40,220 --> 01:29:41,980 I mean, you're like, by the way, that was my joke. 2041 01:29:41,980 --> 01:29:43,420 Hunter Hirsch stole my joke. 2042 01:29:43,420 --> 01:29:45,920 No, when I heard it, I was like, I just tried to. 2043 01:29:46,160 --> 01:29:48,900 I won't say that one when they're going to say theirs. 2044 01:29:48,900 --> 01:29:51,440 Have you heard the end of Seymour's gun joke? 2045 01:29:51,440 --> 01:29:56,240 No, it's a I I was walking in the grocery store 2046 01:29:56,240 --> 01:29:58,540 and I saw a guy that had a shirt that said 2047 01:29:58,540 --> 01:30:01,820 that somebody about guns. 2048 01:30:01,820 --> 01:30:05,720 I love guns. Change or change my mind. 2049 01:30:06,180 --> 01:30:10,280 So I shot him and I was like, this is pretty cool. 2050 01:30:10,280 --> 01:30:12,020 I kind of like guns. Guess what? 2051 01:30:12,020 --> 01:30:14,060 I was the guy he shot. 2052 01:30:14,060 --> 01:30:15,520 I wonder if we mean to change his mind. 2053 01:30:15,520 --> 01:30:16,460 Like you shot him. 2054 01:30:16,460 --> 01:30:21,200 I was the guy he shot and then he paid me off, made me send an NDA. 2055 01:30:22,300 --> 01:30:24,500 And there's a whole nother dimension. 2056 01:30:24,500 --> 01:30:28,400 And now you're friends with the guy who shot now to the NDA. 2057 01:30:28,400 --> 01:30:30,680 Expired tsunami able to let it all out. 2058 01:30:30,940 --> 01:30:34,780 Dan, the Seymour shot me on top of stealing all my jokes. 2059 01:30:35,680 --> 01:30:38,080 And he did it for which guy? 2060 01:30:38,080 --> 01:30:41,880 But he he was the one who probably a little tiny pistol. 2061 01:30:41,880 --> 01:30:43,680 All right. No, no, no. 2062 01:30:43,680 --> 01:30:45,060 A little baby little. 2063 01:30:45,060 --> 01:30:48,500 I think it was my revolver that got stolen from me when I lived in Logan Square. 2064 01:30:48,560 --> 01:30:50,760 And he had your bike. 2065 01:30:51,860 --> 01:30:53,460 If he has my bike right now. 2066 01:30:53,460 --> 01:30:55,760 Yeah. If he has my ride. 2067 01:30:55,760 --> 01:30:59,500 Oh, my God, I'm going to use my bad boy comedies. 2068 01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:03,140 Switchblade and and give him a joker face. 2069 01:31:03,240 --> 01:31:06,180 It would be funny if you like had a mental break and just ended up 2070 01:31:06,280 --> 01:31:08,180 like stabbing him over. 2071 01:31:08,180 --> 01:31:10,240 She got with that. 2072 01:31:10,240 --> 01:31:12,380 You believed your own joke. 2073 01:31:14,380 --> 01:31:16,180 No, I'm not. I'm not. 2074 01:31:16,180 --> 01:31:17,260 I'm not delusional. 2075 01:31:17,260 --> 01:31:21,460 I mean, that like like later down the line, maybe, but not right now. 2076 01:31:21,460 --> 01:31:23,000 No, years from now. 2077 01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:25,800 Years from now, I'll that was no. 2078 01:31:25,800 --> 01:31:28,500 I went crazy and believed his own jokes. 2079 01:31:28,500 --> 01:31:33,040 No, I'm the most self aware on self aware person of all time. 2080 01:31:33,340 --> 01:31:37,640 You'd have like paintings of like like Ham Talent as a pig. 2081 01:31:37,680 --> 01:31:39,580 I know what I'm doing. I play in my life. 2082 01:31:39,580 --> 01:31:41,820 I play 10 D chess. 2083 01:31:42,580 --> 01:31:44,640 OK, I don't need normal chess. 2084 01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:47,080 Right. You're like Elon Musk in that way. 2085 01:31:47,120 --> 01:31:49,180 You want to like chess is way too simple. 2086 01:31:49,180 --> 01:31:52,180 You want to play because I'm like a Cinco fan. 2087 01:31:52,180 --> 01:31:53,540 You play 10 D chess. 2088 01:31:53,540 --> 01:31:57,340 No, I'm Elon Tusk because I'm like a Cinco fan, like an elephant in in sync. 2089 01:31:57,680 --> 01:31:59,380 Bye bye bye with his trunk. 2090 01:31:59,380 --> 01:32:01,020 Yeah. Oh, my God. 2091 01:32:01,020 --> 01:32:03,460 Oh, my fucking see. You are too smart. 2092 01:32:03,460 --> 01:32:05,020 My brain hurt. Yeah. 2093 01:32:05,020 --> 01:32:06,080 It's like way too funny. 2094 01:32:06,080 --> 01:32:07,220 It was level 10, buddy. 2095 01:32:07,220 --> 01:32:08,720 I thought that was your period. 2096 01:32:08,720 --> 01:32:10,860 Yeah. Well, no, that's yeah. 2097 01:32:10,860 --> 01:32:11,820 That's everything else. 2098 01:32:11,820 --> 01:32:13,160 That's an iron deficiency. 2099 01:32:13,160 --> 01:32:16,640 A period where you want cramps, a cranberry juice in your period. 2100 01:32:17,200 --> 01:32:19,300 That's from the departed. 2101 01:32:19,300 --> 01:32:21,000 What? That's from the departed. 2102 01:32:21,000 --> 01:32:23,640 He orders Leo farted the departed. 2103 01:32:23,640 --> 01:32:24,840 It would be cool if you played. 2104 01:32:24,840 --> 01:32:27,940 Leo orders a cranberry juice and a guy says, what are you on your period? 2105 01:32:28,580 --> 01:32:30,020 Oh, that's funny. 2106 01:32:30,020 --> 01:32:32,380 And then Leo breaks the glass on the guy's head. 2107 01:32:32,980 --> 01:32:36,560 Now, Leonardo DiCaprio is so, so funny. 2108 01:32:36,660 --> 01:32:39,020 Yeah, he also is on Epstein's Island, I'm pretty sure. 2109 01:32:39,360 --> 01:32:41,220 OK. And did he list? 2110 01:32:41,220 --> 01:32:43,300 He doubled it. He doubled down. 2111 01:32:43,300 --> 01:32:45,500 But no, he was definitely here. 2112 01:32:45,500 --> 01:32:47,560 I want to end soon, but before we end. 2113 01:32:47,560 --> 01:32:49,700 All right. So we need more. 2114 01:32:49,700 --> 01:32:54,500 We need more D.I. for like this, like child trafficking and whatever. 2115 01:32:54,500 --> 01:32:55,780 C.I. Blackmail. 2116 01:32:55,780 --> 01:32:57,900 We have to have that scene. 2117 01:32:57,900 --> 01:33:01,140 Epstein Jewish. Yeah. Did he black? Yeah. 2118 01:33:01,280 --> 01:33:03,180 Ellen Lesbian. 2119 01:33:03,180 --> 01:33:05,180 She was helping Diddy. Yeah. 2120 01:33:05,180 --> 01:33:06,080 And then we need. 2121 01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,460 No, we're going to need. 2122 01:33:07,460 --> 01:33:09,820 He probably was. We're going to need an Asian Epstein. 2123 01:33:10,280 --> 01:33:12,760 We're going to need Hispanic Epstein. 2124 01:33:13,220 --> 01:33:14,300 Doesn't matter what kind. 2125 01:33:14,300 --> 01:33:16,360 Just one that looks like maybe a Somali guy. 2126 01:33:16,360 --> 01:33:21,300 I mean, there probably are like different races of Epstein's. 2127 01:33:21,300 --> 01:33:23,860 We're just we're not like aware of them. 2128 01:33:23,900 --> 01:33:27,300 Well, in China, there's definitely an Asian Epstein. OK. 2129 01:33:27,340 --> 01:33:29,900 No doubt. I mean, they have a billion people. 2130 01:33:33,880 --> 01:33:37,020 Yeah. OK. Yeah. Let me just call up Saku right now. 2131 01:33:37,780 --> 01:33:39,580 That's he's Japanese. 2132 01:33:39,580 --> 01:33:41,680 What you said is just super. 2133 01:33:41,680 --> 01:33:43,920 And those countries hate each other. 2134 01:33:44,020 --> 01:33:45,160 No, it's the same thing. 2135 01:33:45,160 --> 01:33:46,760 Saku heard that he would kill you. 2136 01:33:46,760 --> 01:33:48,620 Yeah, they're right next door. 2137 01:33:48,620 --> 01:33:51,300 It's like Polish Ukraine, you know, it's kind of sort of same. 2138 01:33:51,300 --> 01:33:55,360 Yeah, kind of sort of just like North with a with a pass of just like 2139 01:33:55,440 --> 01:33:58,300 the deepest hatred of all time. 2140 01:33:58,300 --> 01:34:00,840 If it's fuel, it helps. 2141 01:34:00,840 --> 01:34:04,680 No, no, we do need an evil joker. 2142 01:34:04,980 --> 01:34:08,640 Yeah. Rice. So Siri Rice. 2143 01:34:09,120 --> 01:34:11,720 Yeah. So. Yeah. 2144 01:34:12,660 --> 01:34:14,920 If you're doing something, never do it for rice. 2145 01:34:14,920 --> 01:34:17,320 Or actually always do. 2146 01:34:17,320 --> 01:34:19,820 And here we rice. 2147 01:34:21,260 --> 01:34:23,260 Just every like. 2148 01:34:23,760 --> 01:34:27,520 You want to. It's like you don't have to end every sentence with rice. 2149 01:34:27,560 --> 01:34:29,700 You want to see a magic rice? 2150 01:34:29,700 --> 01:34:32,100 So that's not funny. 2151 01:34:32,100 --> 01:34:34,400 That doesn't make sense. 2152 01:34:34,400 --> 01:34:36,600 At least like add different food items. 2153 01:34:36,600 --> 01:34:40,480 And now the funny part is always finding your way home. 2154 01:34:40,500 --> 01:34:42,040 That's why it's funny. It's always right. 2155 01:34:42,040 --> 01:34:42,800 It's a comfortable. 2156 01:34:42,800 --> 01:34:45,940 It's a harmony with you know how I got this right. 2157 01:34:46,880 --> 01:34:48,920 That's why I love this kind of comedy. 2158 01:34:48,920 --> 01:34:50,980 There's a good Mexican joker, too. 2159 01:34:50,980 --> 01:34:54,160 It's like, you want to know how I got across these border? 2160 01:34:56,060 --> 01:34:58,120 You know, I was not food related. 2161 01:34:58,120 --> 01:35:00,660 OK, I got you. You want to. 2162 01:35:00,660 --> 01:35:02,460 They're always finding your way home. 2163 01:35:02,460 --> 01:35:05,600 The point or to a new new country. 2164 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:08,840 But I just think the Asian Batman. 2165 01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:12,400 They are his rise. 2166 01:35:14,800 --> 01:35:17,980 It's so stupid, but it's a new path. 2167 01:35:18,880 --> 01:35:21,920 Or if it's an old path, let me hear it again. 2168 01:35:22,140 --> 01:35:23,820 It's like people go see Jerry Seinfeld. 2169 01:35:23,820 --> 01:35:25,820 What are some other things? 2170 01:35:25,820 --> 01:35:27,920 I want to do Asian jokers. 2171 01:35:27,920 --> 01:35:30,820 What I would yell out at the Mac concert. 2172 01:35:31,900 --> 01:35:34,920 Let's hear. We know it's coming at the Mac. 2173 01:35:35,360 --> 01:35:36,160 Yeah. 2174 01:35:36,160 --> 01:35:41,060 Every day, the same as folks and everyone just like talk about rice. 2175 01:35:41,100 --> 01:35:42,180 Yeah, I can't wait. 2176 01:35:42,180 --> 01:35:44,240 I'm going to sell out like a price. 2177 01:35:44,240 --> 01:35:47,780 So at the United Center with the bad boy show 2178 01:35:48,080 --> 01:35:50,580 and I'm saying that it's going to be the 2179 01:35:51,720 --> 01:35:54,620 it's going to be the Dando Seymour album release 2180 01:35:55,520 --> 01:35:58,760 or Dan Joke Steel Mo is the name of the album. 2181 01:35:58,760 --> 01:36:00,060 Probably that's like one. 2182 01:36:00,060 --> 01:36:01,320 And then there's an intermission. 2183 01:36:01,320 --> 01:36:04,320 You should. Well, no, yeah, you should just do it like a bar. 2184 01:36:04,320 --> 01:36:06,520 You should do it at fucking. 2185 01:36:06,520 --> 01:36:08,920 What do you think? I'm not good enough to go to the United Center. 2186 01:36:09,600 --> 01:36:10,620 No, you could do it. 2187 01:36:10,620 --> 01:36:11,820 You could do it at the United Center. 2188 01:36:11,820 --> 01:36:13,200 It's just really fucking expensive. 2189 01:36:13,200 --> 01:36:15,700 And you can you just believe in me, please. 2190 01:36:16,560 --> 01:36:17,500 I believe in you. 2191 01:36:17,500 --> 01:36:20,540 You think it can floor rides better than. Yeah. 2192 01:36:20,840 --> 01:36:22,680 Why did he sell out of United Center? 2193 01:36:22,680 --> 01:36:25,580 I got to perform there with Fluffy. 2194 01:36:25,580 --> 01:36:27,980 I will say I will say super flex. 2195 01:36:28,540 --> 01:36:29,640 The video is so cool. 2196 01:36:29,640 --> 01:36:32,140 They're just the bigger bone. Yeah. Yeah. 2197 01:36:32,140 --> 01:36:34,300 Wow. They're both. 2198 01:36:34,300 --> 01:36:36,400 They're both what? 2199 01:36:36,400 --> 01:36:39,040 With fat, Mexican, no, Spanish, whatever. 2200 01:36:40,040 --> 01:36:41,440 Oh, come on. 2201 01:36:42,480 --> 01:36:45,880 Yeah, I don't know if they're are they both Mexican or is one in Puerto 2202 01:36:45,880 --> 01:36:47,580 Rico and they're both Mexican. 2203 01:36:47,580 --> 01:36:50,420 It's so I mean, let us know in the comments. 2204 01:36:51,080 --> 01:36:51,760 Yeah, let us know. 2205 01:36:51,760 --> 01:36:52,520 Fluffy is my. 2206 01:36:52,520 --> 01:36:53,560 Are they the same? 2207 01:36:53,560 --> 01:36:57,220 And let us know if Ken Flora is Mexican or Puerto Rican in the comments, please. 2208 01:36:57,220 --> 01:37:00,560 Oh, I have a good Anthony Fuentes impression. 2209 01:37:01,600 --> 01:37:03,660 It's a you know how I got this race. 2210 01:37:03,660 --> 01:37:06,300 No, that's good. 2211 01:37:06,300 --> 01:37:07,760 I like that one. 2212 01:37:07,760 --> 01:37:10,540 So that's very funny, actually. 2213 01:37:11,000 --> 01:37:12,140 Yeah. Thank you. 2214 01:37:12,140 --> 01:37:14,800 So she she's finally coming around to like Dale did. 2215 01:37:17,080 --> 01:37:20,620 So wait, wait, I hate it. 2216 01:37:20,620 --> 01:37:21,740 I might do it. 2217 01:37:21,740 --> 01:37:23,940 Why do you keep coming back here? 2218 01:37:23,940 --> 01:37:25,480 Yeah, but no, no, Dale. 2219 01:37:25,480 --> 01:37:28,080 They laughed at that one, the Asian joker. 2220 01:37:28,080 --> 01:37:30,780 But this man, the point, that was impression. 2221 01:37:31,660 --> 01:37:34,400 Oh, my name is Anthony point. 2222 01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:38,500 There is I had I they call me the big fish. 2223 01:37:41,000 --> 01:37:42,840 What do you even say? 2224 01:37:42,840 --> 01:37:44,800 My name is Anthony point. 2225 01:37:44,800 --> 01:37:46,800 They call me the big fish. 2226 01:37:46,800 --> 01:37:48,480 OK, OK. That's a good. 2227 01:37:48,480 --> 01:37:50,240 His action is not that thick. 2228 01:37:50,240 --> 01:37:52,040 I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. 2229 01:37:52,040 --> 01:37:53,040 Well, I. 2230 01:37:53,040 --> 01:37:54,820 Think I think it is. 2231 01:37:54,820 --> 01:37:57,020 He is he is he is pretty thick. 2232 01:37:57,020 --> 01:37:58,320 He's called the big fish. 2233 01:37:58,320 --> 01:38:00,620 Yeah. Do you think? 2234 01:38:00,620 --> 01:38:04,820 Do you think? Is that a is that like a name he gave himself? 2235 01:38:04,820 --> 01:38:07,020 Uh, like Big Tuna in the. 2236 01:38:07,020 --> 01:38:08,960 I like big fish. That's a good nickname. 2237 01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:10,960 Yeah, it's a good movie. 2238 01:38:10,960 --> 01:38:13,440 Have you ever seen Adam Gilbert's Little Fish? 2239 01:38:13,440 --> 01:38:15,060 You may know, right? 2240 01:38:15,060 --> 01:38:17,240 Yes. They call him Little Minnow. 2241 01:38:17,240 --> 01:38:19,440 I want to plant Adam Gilbert's everywhere. 2242 01:38:19,440 --> 01:38:20,440 I love that. 2243 01:38:20,440 --> 01:38:23,240 I love Adam Gilbert so much. That sounds like a plant. 2244 01:38:23,240 --> 01:38:25,340 Well, no, he's a plant. 2245 01:38:25,340 --> 01:38:28,140 Like a seed grows into a real. 2246 01:38:28,140 --> 01:38:29,760 Yeah. Some girl at Logan's 2247 01:38:29,760 --> 01:38:31,480 Scrooge running to go to the fucking store 2248 01:38:31,480 --> 01:38:33,080 to get an Adam Gilbert plant. 2249 01:38:33,080 --> 01:38:34,080 No, no, no. 2250 01:38:34,080 --> 01:38:35,960 Yeah. Blossoms more Adam Gilbert. 2251 01:38:35,960 --> 01:38:37,500 So that's what this world needs. 2252 01:38:37,500 --> 01:38:41,000 Like for real, like happiness and peace. 2253 01:38:41,000 --> 01:38:43,000 We need to plant more Adam Gilbert's around. 2254 01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:45,000 So produces more Adam Gilbert's. 2255 01:38:45,000 --> 01:38:47,500 That's what we want to have in the Bad Comedy Sims. 2256 01:38:47,500 --> 01:38:48,500 Because he's an animal. 2257 01:38:48,500 --> 01:38:50,500 We all love Adam Gilbert. 2258 01:38:50,500 --> 01:38:52,500 And Adam Gilbert Garden. 2259 01:38:52,500 --> 01:38:54,500 He'll sprout into full grown. 2260 01:38:54,500 --> 01:38:56,500 Yeah, Gilbert Grapes. 2261 01:38:56,500 --> 01:38:58,520 Adam Gilbert Grapes. 2262 01:38:58,520 --> 01:39:00,520 Part of the garden. 2263 01:39:00,520 --> 01:39:02,520 Yeah, Adam Gilbert Grapes. 2264 01:39:02,520 --> 01:39:03,520 No more Grapes. 2265 01:39:03,520 --> 01:39:04,520 Yeah, no. 2266 01:39:04,520 --> 01:39:06,520 You're not allowed to plant Gilbert Grapes. 2267 01:39:06,520 --> 01:39:09,520 And then we can make a magazine that's after Gilbert. 2268 01:39:09,520 --> 01:39:12,520 We can do Adam and Gilbert. 2269 01:39:12,520 --> 01:39:16,520 And it'll be just like same thing as Gilbert in the newspaper. 2270 01:39:16,520 --> 01:39:18,520 But it's a little guy. 2271 01:39:18,520 --> 01:39:20,540 Yes, you can buy a newspaper. 2272 01:39:20,540 --> 01:39:21,540 Read the deal. 2273 01:39:21,540 --> 01:39:22,540 Gilbert. 2274 01:39:22,540 --> 01:39:24,540 We're like, here, here, here, here. 2275 01:39:24,540 --> 01:39:26,540 Get the new Adam Dilbert. 2276 01:39:26,540 --> 01:39:28,540 The office is a DI. 2277 01:39:28,540 --> 01:39:30,540 Whatever, whatever it is. 2278 01:39:30,540 --> 01:39:33,540 That's the job that we need to bring back is a newsie. 2279 01:39:33,540 --> 01:39:34,540 No. 2280 01:39:34,540 --> 01:39:35,540 Here, here. 2281 01:39:35,540 --> 01:39:36,540 Get your news here. 2282 01:39:36,540 --> 01:39:39,540 Yeah, they just give you a fucking TikTok reel of like 2283 01:39:39,540 --> 01:39:41,560 belief. 2284 01:39:41,560 --> 01:39:42,560 It's old news. 2285 01:39:42,560 --> 01:39:44,560 Like a little Adam Gilbert. 2286 01:39:44,560 --> 01:39:45,560 He's like, hey, have you seen this one? 2287 01:39:45,560 --> 01:39:46,560 Oh, yeah. 2288 01:39:46,560 --> 01:39:48,560 We can have your shoes. 2289 01:39:48,560 --> 01:39:50,560 Oh, we can give all the Adam Gilbert. 2290 01:39:50,560 --> 01:39:51,560 I can shine your shoes too. 2291 01:39:51,560 --> 01:39:52,560 I would love to do it. 2292 01:39:52,560 --> 01:39:54,560 It would be amazing. 2293 01:39:54,560 --> 01:39:57,560 We would give all the Adam Gilbert's like little like caps, 2294 01:39:57,560 --> 01:39:59,560 little newsy caps. 2295 01:39:59,560 --> 01:40:00,560 Oh, yeah. 2296 01:40:00,560 --> 01:40:02,580 And they'd be running around to spreading joy. 2297 01:40:02,580 --> 01:40:04,580 We just make them dress like a little tan. 2298 01:40:04,580 --> 01:40:05,580 They should have like Lincoln Lodge. 2299 01:40:05,580 --> 01:40:08,580 It's like them wearing like they should get really short, 2300 01:40:08,580 --> 01:40:09,580 like funny men. 2301 01:40:09,580 --> 01:40:10,580 Adam Gilbert would actually. 2302 01:40:10,580 --> 01:40:12,580 And just like. 2303 01:40:12,580 --> 01:40:14,580 Adam Gilbert would actually love this. 2304 01:40:14,580 --> 01:40:16,580 And like actually like serve the beer so I don't have to fucking 2305 01:40:16,580 --> 01:40:19,580 wait in that long ass line and then talk to that bartender who 2306 01:40:19,580 --> 01:40:20,580 hates everyone. 2307 01:40:20,580 --> 01:40:21,580 Where? 2308 01:40:21,580 --> 01:40:22,600 At Lincoln Lodge? 2309 01:40:22,600 --> 01:40:23,600 Yeah, exactly. 2310 01:40:23,600 --> 01:40:24,600 They like me. 2311 01:40:24,600 --> 01:40:25,600 Like, Mack, you're hot. 2312 01:40:25,600 --> 01:40:29,600 They like they I walked in there and I ordered a drink when I was 2313 01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:30,600 under 21, by the way. 2314 01:40:30,600 --> 01:40:33,600 OK, they didn't card you and I vomit down their floor. 2315 01:40:33,600 --> 01:40:34,600 Yeah, really? 2316 01:40:34,600 --> 01:40:35,600 Yeah. 2317 01:40:35,600 --> 01:40:36,600 No. 2318 01:40:36,600 --> 01:40:37,600 Yeah. 2319 01:40:37,600 --> 01:40:39,600 I mean, like fuck Lincoln Lodge. 2320 01:40:39,600 --> 01:40:41,600 I mean, I was into a comedy too. 2321 01:40:41,600 --> 01:40:42,600 So. 2322 01:40:42,600 --> 01:40:44,600 I still I still give a fuck. 2323 01:40:44,600 --> 01:40:49,620 I still I still like their bar staff and I call Scantron, but 2324 01:40:49,620 --> 01:40:51,620 Mark Geary is the worst owner. 2325 01:40:51,620 --> 01:40:53,620 They don't hire any little guys. 2326 01:40:53,620 --> 01:40:59,620 And everyone that is on the Lincoln Lodge show is gay. 2327 01:40:59,620 --> 01:41:03,620 There is a Chicago gay in the gay in the bad way. 2328 01:41:03,620 --> 01:41:04,620 Not as in like. 2329 01:41:04,620 --> 01:41:05,620 Yeah. 2330 01:41:05,620 --> 01:41:06,620 No. 2331 01:41:06,620 --> 01:41:07,620 Wait, really? 2332 01:41:07,620 --> 01:41:09,640 I would like not as in homosexuals. 2333 01:41:09,640 --> 01:41:12,640 OK, gotcha. 2334 01:41:12,640 --> 01:41:14,640 Like the way you say it in high school. 2335 01:41:14,640 --> 01:41:15,640 Thank you. 2336 01:41:15,640 --> 01:41:16,640 Anyways. 2337 01:41:16,640 --> 01:41:17,640 Yeah. 2338 01:41:17,640 --> 01:41:23,640 My agent, the agent of chaos show, I told like that was totally an idea I had. 2339 01:41:23,640 --> 01:41:24,640 That's me. 2340 01:41:24,640 --> 01:41:25,640 Really? 2341 01:41:25,640 --> 01:41:26,640 What was it called? 2342 01:41:26,640 --> 01:41:27,640 It's called Agent of Chaos. 2343 01:41:27,640 --> 01:41:28,640 The John Stockwell show. 2344 01:41:28,640 --> 01:41:29,640 The John Stockwell show. 2345 01:41:29,640 --> 01:41:33,640 I wanted to do that at like the museum, like the Torture Museum of Chicago. 2346 01:41:33,640 --> 01:41:40,640 But they were like, no, you can't sell the tickets cheaper than like, oh, my God. 2347 01:41:40,640 --> 01:41:41,640 Wow. 2348 01:41:41,640 --> 01:41:42,640 Just right. 2349 01:41:42,640 --> 01:41:43,640 The story, right? 2350 01:41:43,640 --> 01:41:44,640 I want to hear. 2351 01:41:44,640 --> 01:41:45,640 Yeah. 2352 01:41:45,640 --> 01:41:46,640 Fucking no. 2353 01:41:46,640 --> 01:41:48,640 Now I feel boring as shit. 2354 01:41:48,640 --> 01:41:50,640 No, but like. 2355 01:41:50,640 --> 01:41:53,640 So John Cockbell. 2356 01:41:53,640 --> 01:41:58,640 Anyways, so we were going to have the tickets be 30 bucks and they're like, no, the tickets 2357 01:41:58,640 --> 01:41:59,640 for the museum is like 45. 2358 01:41:59,640 --> 01:42:00,640 So why would I? 2359 01:42:00,640 --> 01:42:01,640 Why would we have a comedy show? 2360 01:42:01,640 --> 01:42:03,640 And then also, we couldn't serve beer. 2361 01:42:03,640 --> 01:42:06,640 Also, we couldn't torture the comedians. 2362 01:42:06,640 --> 01:42:09,640 And then also, like they're like, yeah. 2363 01:42:09,640 --> 01:42:13,640 Also, they're like, we can't move the fucking we can't move the torture museum devices. 2364 01:42:13,640 --> 01:42:17,640 So now they just have it at Lincoln Lodge and it's like way worse, but it's fine. 2365 01:42:17,640 --> 01:42:18,640 Are you producing torture devices? 2366 01:42:18,640 --> 01:42:19,640 No, I would love. 2367 01:42:19,640 --> 01:42:21,640 I would love to do something like that. 2368 01:42:21,640 --> 01:42:23,640 I would love to like throw fucking tomatoes at like comedians and stuff. 2369 01:42:23,640 --> 01:42:26,640 And like I was going to have waivers for like people to sign. 2370 01:42:26,640 --> 01:42:27,640 Yeah. 2371 01:42:27,640 --> 01:42:28,640 Yeah. 2372 01:42:28,640 --> 01:42:31,640 And they'd be pretty like legal legally stand. 2373 01:42:31,640 --> 01:42:32,640 Yeah. 2374 01:42:32,640 --> 01:42:34,640 Like legally, like even if they get mad at me, I'm like, I'm sorry. 2375 01:42:34,640 --> 01:42:35,640 You're lost. 2376 01:42:35,640 --> 01:42:38,640 You're going to have anything. 2377 01:42:38,640 --> 01:42:39,640 Anything. 2378 01:42:39,640 --> 01:42:40,640 Anything goes. 2379 01:42:40,640 --> 01:42:46,640 So in the thing, you're going to have like a Gilbert Grape like, well, OK, no, no, no, 2380 01:42:46,640 --> 01:42:50,640 like what if someone gives Gilbert Graves on stage? 2381 01:42:50,640 --> 01:42:51,640 It's trying to drop. 2382 01:42:51,640 --> 01:42:55,640 That would not be that would not be a I guess that is torture. 2383 01:42:55,640 --> 01:42:56,640 Yeah. 2384 01:42:56,640 --> 01:42:58,640 That would be like authentic. 2385 01:42:58,640 --> 01:42:59,640 That wouldn't be funny. 2386 01:42:59,640 --> 01:43:00,640 I know. 2387 01:43:00,640 --> 01:43:03,640 But just in case it happens, you got to have you got to have the Gilbert Grave clause and 2388 01:43:03,640 --> 01:43:05,640 then we'll probably just have an alarm or something. 2389 01:43:05,640 --> 01:43:06,640 Yeah. 2390 01:43:06,640 --> 01:43:07,640 Great. 2391 01:43:07,640 --> 01:43:08,640 Gilbert Grape. 2392 01:43:08,640 --> 01:43:09,640 Gilbert Grape. 2393 01:43:09,640 --> 01:43:10,640 The safe word. 2394 01:43:10,640 --> 01:43:11,640 Yes. 2395 01:43:11,640 --> 01:43:16,640 And then we just go back back and then like whack him off the stage and then everyone 2396 01:43:16,640 --> 01:43:21,640 laughs and then everyone's like, he this is like a cartoon and not real life and everything's 2397 01:43:21,640 --> 01:43:22,640 fake. 2398 01:43:22,640 --> 01:43:23,640 It's attempted. 2399 01:43:23,640 --> 01:43:24,640 We love. 2400 01:43:24,640 --> 01:43:25,640 Yeah. 2401 01:43:25,640 --> 01:43:29,640 I'm not going to like write about this on Instagram and cancel this fucking comedian. 2402 01:43:29,640 --> 01:43:33,640 That was like this was yeah, this was interesting, like a social experiment. 2403 01:43:33,640 --> 01:43:34,640 Yeah. 2404 01:43:34,640 --> 01:43:40,640 Well, my idea was my idea was a show where there's two like podiums and then there was 2405 01:43:40,640 --> 01:43:42,640 a sandpit in the middle podiums. 2406 01:43:42,640 --> 01:43:45,640 They are enemies, not friends. 2407 01:43:45,640 --> 01:43:46,640 Yeah. 2408 01:43:46,640 --> 01:43:50,640 People who hate me and Zach or some people that hate each other the most and they say 2409 01:43:50,640 --> 01:43:53,640 the most mean stuff to the other person. 2410 01:43:53,640 --> 01:43:57,640 Each person gets five jokes and then I've never heard of this constant my life. 2411 01:43:57,640 --> 01:44:00,640 It's like a like it's like a roast battle or something. 2412 01:44:00,640 --> 01:44:01,640 No, no, no. 2413 01:44:01,640 --> 01:44:03,640 This is but it has a sandpit. 2414 01:44:03,640 --> 01:44:04,640 No, no, no. 2415 01:44:04,640 --> 01:44:08,640 This is this is not as enemies. 2416 01:44:08,640 --> 01:44:09,640 Real enemies. 2417 01:44:09,640 --> 01:44:10,640 Real enemies. 2418 01:44:10,640 --> 01:44:11,640 People that hate each other. 2419 01:44:11,640 --> 01:44:12,640 OK, OK. 2420 01:44:12,640 --> 01:44:13,640 They do skate. 2421 01:44:13,640 --> 01:44:14,640 They say scathing things to each other. 2422 01:44:14,640 --> 01:44:16,640 They each get five jokes. 2423 01:44:16,640 --> 01:44:17,640 Yeah. 2424 01:44:17,640 --> 01:44:18,640 There's a panel of judges. 2425 01:44:18,640 --> 01:44:19,640 Amazing. 2426 01:44:19,640 --> 01:44:21,640 And then they bare knuckle box in the middle. 2427 01:44:21,640 --> 01:44:23,640 They fight until one of them dies. 2428 01:44:23,640 --> 01:44:25,640 Whoever lives wins. 2429 01:44:25,640 --> 01:44:26,640 The jokes don't matter. 2430 01:44:26,640 --> 01:44:29,640 It's like it's like, you know, whose line is anyway, the points don't matter. 2431 01:44:29,640 --> 01:44:30,640 Yeah. 2432 01:44:30,640 --> 01:44:32,640 And it's the jokes don't matter. 2433 01:44:32,640 --> 01:44:33,640 Yeah. 2434 01:44:33,640 --> 01:44:34,640 Yeah. 2435 01:44:34,640 --> 01:44:35,640 No, like that would be funny. 2436 01:44:35,640 --> 01:44:36,640 Like one person makes a joke. 2437 01:44:36,640 --> 01:44:37,640 The other person makes a joke. 2438 01:44:37,640 --> 01:44:39,640 And then they actually fucking beat their living shit out of each other. 2439 01:44:39,640 --> 01:44:41,640 And then they have a comedy set afterwards. 2440 01:44:41,640 --> 01:44:42,640 Only one of them does. 2441 01:44:42,640 --> 01:44:43,640 Yeah. 2442 01:44:43,640 --> 01:44:45,640 Well, the one who I know we could do. 2443 01:44:45,640 --> 01:44:47,640 We could we could do a fight. 2444 01:44:47,640 --> 01:44:48,640 They're naked. 2445 01:44:48,640 --> 01:44:50,640 No, we'll have we'll have. 2446 01:44:50,640 --> 01:44:52,640 Dude, I'd pay to go see Zaco naked. 2447 01:44:52,640 --> 01:44:53,640 Way. 2448 01:44:53,640 --> 01:44:54,640 Oh, yeah. 2449 01:44:54,640 --> 01:44:57,640 And if he gets murdered, you're sorry for saying that. 2450 01:44:57,640 --> 01:44:58,640 Zaco's a trigger. 2451 01:44:58,640 --> 01:45:00,640 You know, Zaco is just like an empty vessel. 2452 01:45:00,640 --> 01:45:01,640 Join the. 2453 01:45:01,640 --> 01:45:02,640 Yeah. 2454 01:45:02,640 --> 01:45:06,640 I'm I had a thing for sociopaths like my. 2455 01:45:06,640 --> 01:45:11,640 You want to be Eskimo sisters with Jessica? 2456 01:45:11,640 --> 01:45:12,640 For sure, for sure, for sure. 2457 01:45:12,640 --> 01:45:13,640 No, no, no. 2458 01:45:13,640 --> 01:45:14,640 Eskimo sisters. 2459 01:45:14,640 --> 01:45:15,640 Eskimo sisters. 2460 01:45:15,640 --> 01:45:16,640 Yeah. 2461 01:45:16,640 --> 01:45:17,640 With just Jessica. 2462 01:45:17,640 --> 01:45:20,640 But a lot of people are called Jessica Pissatana. 2463 01:45:20,640 --> 01:45:21,640 She likes people. 2464 01:45:21,640 --> 01:45:22,640 Piener. 2465 01:45:22,640 --> 01:45:24,640 Is that true? 2466 01:45:24,640 --> 01:45:25,640 No. 2467 01:45:25,640 --> 01:45:26,640 Oh, OK. 2468 01:45:26,640 --> 01:45:27,640 So it's not like this thing. 2469 01:45:27,640 --> 01:45:28,640 Well, it might be true. 2470 01:45:28,640 --> 01:45:29,640 OK. 2471 01:45:29,640 --> 01:45:32,640 Hey, Jessica, let us know if that's true. 2472 01:45:32,640 --> 01:45:34,640 She's not sure. 2473 01:45:34,640 --> 01:45:37,640 She already specifically voted against us in the gazelles. 2474 01:45:37,640 --> 01:45:39,640 Oh, bummer. 2475 01:45:39,640 --> 01:45:42,640 So she kind of burnt that bridge, I guess you could say. 2476 01:45:42,640 --> 01:45:46,640 Yeah, I mean, she got really mad about us having Max on and then was really mad at me. 2477 01:45:46,640 --> 01:45:55,640 For no reason, because Max is also a standup friend and that was a better friend with him 2478 01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:56,640 than her. 2479 01:45:56,640 --> 01:45:59,640 Then and then me and her became friends again. 2480 01:45:59,640 --> 01:46:01,640 We hugged at beer belly. 2481 01:46:01,640 --> 01:46:02,640 We were like, we're friends. 2482 01:46:02,640 --> 01:46:07,640 And then all of a sudden, I haven't even like talked to her, seen her and she hates me and bitch. 2483 01:46:07,640 --> 01:46:11,640 She kind of just like, yeah, maybe she's a whore. 2484 01:46:11,640 --> 01:46:12,640 Well, yeah, obviously. 2485 01:46:12,640 --> 01:46:14,640 She's a predator, honestly. 2486 01:46:14,640 --> 01:46:19,640 Do you know what I have a friend who's like friends with her and I'm like, how are you friends with her? 2487 01:46:19,640 --> 01:46:22,640 And then by the way, like the horror thing I was joking about. 2488 01:46:22,640 --> 01:46:24,640 Oh, I wasn't listening. 2489 01:46:24,640 --> 01:46:25,640 I meant a horse. 2490 01:46:25,640 --> 01:46:26,640 She'll see a horse. 2491 01:46:26,640 --> 01:46:29,640 Oh, I do love horses. 2492 01:46:29,640 --> 01:46:32,640 I look like I've been watching Yellowstone. 2493 01:46:32,640 --> 01:46:33,640 There's a lot of horses in it. 2494 01:46:33,640 --> 01:46:34,640 It's a good show. 2495 01:46:34,640 --> 01:46:35,640 Yeah, I bet. 2496 01:46:35,640 --> 01:46:37,640 That's her favorite show. 2497 01:46:37,640 --> 01:46:40,640 No, she's very much like a mean aunt. 2498 01:46:40,640 --> 01:46:42,640 Yeah, she is. 2499 01:46:42,640 --> 01:46:47,640 We called her mom on the podcast a long, long time ago, I think before you were on. 2500 01:46:47,640 --> 01:46:49,640 Sometimes she was cool and nice. 2501 01:46:49,640 --> 01:46:51,640 And then other times she was so fucking. 2502 01:46:51,640 --> 01:46:53,640 No, it sucks that we didn't get her. 2503 01:46:53,640 --> 01:47:00,640 We would prank call people and the prank call would be we call them and say, Hey, hey, this is a JFL. 2504 01:47:00,640 --> 01:47:03,640 This is Steven, Steven Jennings. 2505 01:47:03,640 --> 01:47:04,640 We make a fake name. 2506 01:47:04,640 --> 01:47:05,640 Yeah, JFL. 2507 01:47:05,640 --> 01:47:13,640 And we just want to let you know that we saw your set and we you're terrible at comedy. 2508 01:47:13,640 --> 01:47:15,640 We're not letting you go on JFL. 2509 01:47:15,640 --> 01:47:16,640 That's so mean. 2510 01:47:16,640 --> 01:47:17,640 Oh, my God. 2511 01:47:17,640 --> 01:47:18,640 That's so mean. 2512 01:47:18,640 --> 01:47:21,640 We called Jess's mom and said that to her. 2513 01:47:21,640 --> 01:47:22,640 She's not even a comedian. 2514 01:47:22,640 --> 01:47:23,640 What did she say? 2515 01:47:23,640 --> 01:47:24,640 Like, fuck off. 2516 01:47:24,640 --> 01:47:25,640 Yeah, pretty much. 2517 01:47:25,640 --> 01:47:27,640 She's like, fuck off. 2518 01:47:27,640 --> 01:47:28,640 Oh, wow. 2519 01:47:28,640 --> 01:47:29,640 That's genetic. 2520 01:47:29,640 --> 01:47:30,640 Wow. 2521 01:47:30,640 --> 01:47:31,640 Yeah, that's crazy. 2522 01:47:31,640 --> 01:47:33,640 Yeah, that's I don't know if no. 2523 01:47:33,640 --> 01:47:37,640 If JFL, like if you guys called me, I probably would be like, yeah. 2524 01:47:37,640 --> 01:47:39,640 Yeah, sure. 2525 01:47:39,640 --> 01:47:40,640 Thanks. 2526 01:47:40,640 --> 01:47:41,640 Yeah. 2527 01:47:41,640 --> 01:47:45,640 Well, you know, JFL stands for its Jewish F slur losers. 2528 01:47:45,640 --> 01:47:50,640 I said that I said that on stage of power hour did pretty well. 2529 01:47:50,640 --> 01:47:57,640 OK, but power hour like you can literally I usually just like ramble like all my jokes. 2530 01:47:57,640 --> 01:47:59,640 Power hours become a minute more woke. 2531 01:47:59,640 --> 01:48:02,640 It used to be like people chant race war is funny. 2532 01:48:02,640 --> 01:48:04,640 It was like anything goes. 2533 01:48:04,640 --> 01:48:07,640 Well, yeah, you know, nobody would be like how to balance it out. 2534 01:48:07,640 --> 01:48:09,640 It would be like Rovan chanting race war. 2535 01:48:09,640 --> 01:48:11,640 Yeah, or else it would have been Red Lobster Part two. 2536 01:48:11,640 --> 01:48:14,640 Rovan is literally the most racist comedian in the country. 2537 01:48:14,640 --> 01:48:16,640 Well, Rovan can be racist. 2538 01:48:16,640 --> 01:48:18,640 No, he's racist. 2539 01:48:18,640 --> 01:48:20,640 He's like taking a lot of shrooms. 2540 01:48:20,640 --> 01:48:21,640 He is wildly racist. 2541 01:48:21,640 --> 01:48:22,640 His friends with like a lesbian. 2542 01:48:22,640 --> 01:48:25,640 So he basically like, yeah, you know, it's a pass. 2543 01:48:25,640 --> 01:48:27,640 He gets a pass on everything. 2544 01:48:27,640 --> 01:48:30,640 Yeah, no, D has done. 2545 01:48:30,640 --> 01:48:32,640 Boy, is that are they not friends anymore? 2546 01:48:32,640 --> 01:48:39,640 No, I'm saying you don't get points for being friends with the lesbian or anything like that or what? 2547 01:48:39,640 --> 01:48:42,640 No, you get points for being like there's no more points. 2548 01:48:42,640 --> 01:48:44,640 Yeah, it's just for being right. 2549 01:48:44,640 --> 01:48:45,640 I'm not saying it's right. 2550 01:48:45,640 --> 01:48:47,640 Wait, so points are bad. 2551 01:48:47,640 --> 01:48:49,640 You just don't get points extra points. 2552 01:48:49,640 --> 01:48:50,640 You just earn points differently. 2553 01:48:50,640 --> 01:48:54,640 Now you don't get it for being Mr. Nice guy anymore. 2554 01:48:54,640 --> 01:48:55,640 Yeah, no, no. 2555 01:48:55,640 --> 01:48:57,640 Well, it's the journey that matters. 2556 01:48:57,640 --> 01:48:59,640 Yeah, not the point. 2557 01:48:59,640 --> 01:49:00,640 You make along the way. 2558 01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:01,640 You're right. 2559 01:49:01,640 --> 01:49:04,640 Say it when there's a fork in the road, you take it. 2560 01:49:04,640 --> 01:49:05,640 Yeah. 2561 01:49:05,640 --> 01:49:07,640 And if there's a spoon, I'm taking it to yeah. 2562 01:49:07,640 --> 01:49:11,640 For some ice cream or a knife or I go. 2563 01:49:11,640 --> 01:49:12,640 I love goger. 2564 01:49:12,640 --> 01:49:13,640 I think you're going to get rid of that. 2565 01:49:13,640 --> 01:49:14,640 Probably. 2566 01:49:14,640 --> 01:49:16,640 I don't stock up on goger. 2567 01:49:16,640 --> 01:49:18,640 No, honestly, I'm fine with goger. 2568 01:49:18,640 --> 01:49:19,640 That looks like it has too much red 40. 2569 01:49:19,640 --> 01:49:21,640 No, I know. 2570 01:49:21,640 --> 01:49:22,640 I know. 2571 01:49:22,640 --> 01:49:25,640 That's why I'm pissed because I was like, oh, it's awesome that R.F.K. 2572 01:49:25,640 --> 01:49:27,640 Jr. is going to make America healthy again. 2573 01:49:27,640 --> 01:49:30,640 I realize he's going to get rid of uncrustables and gogurt. 2574 01:49:30,640 --> 01:49:31,640 Goger, it's crazy. 2575 01:49:31,640 --> 01:49:35,640 I'm like, yeah, I've been eating a lot of your plate stuff. 2576 01:49:35,640 --> 01:49:40,640 You call it Chio Bonnie Chio Bonnie Chio Bonnie Chio Bon. 2577 01:49:40,640 --> 01:49:41,640 It doesn't matter. 2578 01:49:41,640 --> 01:49:42,640 It's a made up word. 2579 01:49:42,640 --> 01:49:45,640 Well, it sounds like it sounds like fucking stupid. 2580 01:49:45,640 --> 01:49:48,640 It's whatever I hear aren't all words. 2581 01:49:48,640 --> 01:49:50,640 Do you want to be a little bit in podcast? 2582 01:49:50,640 --> 01:49:54,640 No, that's what Chobani was Chobani Diaz. 2583 01:49:54,640 --> 01:49:56,640 Yeah, that's no. 2584 01:49:56,640 --> 01:49:59,640 It's funny that you got the same connection. 2585 01:49:59,640 --> 01:50:05,640 No, he he's a I got to check if he's doing it right now because he takes breaks. 2586 01:50:05,640 --> 01:50:09,640 So he's a longer running podcast than us, but we're the longest uninterrupted podcast. 2587 01:50:09,640 --> 01:50:11,640 We say it's uninterrupted. 2588 01:50:11,640 --> 01:50:14,640 No, I feel like that's almost a core part of it. 2589 01:50:14,640 --> 01:50:17,640 I've always there's always been at least one episode a week. 2590 01:50:17,640 --> 01:50:20,640 I'm saying like you interrupting people. 2591 01:50:20,640 --> 01:50:21,640 Oh, yeah, yeah. 2592 01:50:21,640 --> 01:50:28,640 Very interrupted podcast, but in the time span of things uninterrupted in the grand scheme of things. 2593 01:50:28,640 --> 01:50:38,640 And speaking of T, Patreon dot com slash bad comedy for all the good episodes and Malort sponsorship potentially coming soon. 2594 01:50:38,640 --> 01:50:40,640 Potentially secrets here. 2595 01:50:40,640 --> 01:50:46,640 I saw a comic go up and after their set, when the people in the audience yelled, you suck. 2596 01:50:46,640 --> 01:50:47,640 Nice. 2597 01:50:47,640 --> 01:50:51,640 And maybe exposed to that was the secret. 2598 01:50:51,640 --> 01:50:52,640 Yeah. 2599 01:50:52,640 --> 01:50:53,640 And maybe I'll reopen the secret seer. 2600 01:50:53,640 --> 01:50:55,640 We have some dark stuff behind there. 2601 01:50:55,640 --> 01:51:02,640 Some real damaging stuff that we wouldn't even say on the Patreon is on the secrets tier that still exists. 2602 01:51:02,640 --> 01:51:06,640 But I've hidden it for new people that join damaging. 2603 01:51:06,640 --> 01:51:07,640 Whoa. 2604 01:51:07,640 --> 01:51:08,640 Like what is it? 2605 01:51:08,640 --> 01:51:09,640 Like somebody else. 2606 01:51:09,640 --> 01:51:10,640 You suck. 2607 01:51:10,640 --> 01:51:16,640 It's like after they're like criminal things people have done. 2608 01:51:16,640 --> 01:51:18,640 Punching a woman, punching women. 2609 01:51:18,640 --> 01:51:19,640 Whoa. 2610 01:51:19,640 --> 01:51:20,640 Maybe. 2611 01:51:20,640 --> 01:51:21,640 Yeah. 2612 01:51:21,640 --> 01:51:22,640 Maybe not. 2613 01:51:22,640 --> 01:51:23,640 Did you guys punch a woman? 2614 01:51:23,640 --> 01:51:24,640 No. 2615 01:51:24,640 --> 01:51:25,640 Oh, we'll talk about it. 2616 01:51:25,640 --> 01:51:27,640 I would have been canceled if I ever if I were. 2617 01:51:27,640 --> 01:51:28,640 All right. 2618 01:51:28,640 --> 01:51:31,640 People would cancel me so quick if I did. 2619 01:51:31,640 --> 01:51:33,640 If I hit a woman or something. 2620 01:51:33,640 --> 01:51:35,640 There's some people just waiting. 2621 01:51:35,640 --> 01:51:38,640 Would they know if you didn't like talk about it on your pod? 2622 01:51:38,640 --> 01:51:43,640 People are just waiting to pounce on me to to to wrong a woman so they can cancel me. 2623 01:51:43,640 --> 01:51:45,640 But Matt can't tell a lie. 2624 01:51:45,640 --> 01:51:46,640 I can't tell a lie. 2625 01:51:46,640 --> 01:51:48,640 Or not say something. 2626 01:51:48,640 --> 01:51:49,640 I cut down. 2627 01:51:49,640 --> 01:51:50,640 If you punch the woman. 2628 01:51:50,640 --> 01:51:55,640 When I was a kid, I cut down a cherry tree and my dad said, you cut down a cherry tree. 2629 01:51:55,640 --> 01:51:57,640 And I said, I did. 2630 01:51:57,640 --> 01:51:58,640 I'm sorry. 2631 01:51:58,640 --> 01:51:59,640 I would only punch a woman for gold medal. 2632 01:51:59,640 --> 01:52:00,640 And then I didn't get in trouble. 2633 01:52:00,640 --> 01:52:04,640 He said, I respect your honesty and you're not in trouble. 2634 01:52:04,640 --> 01:52:08,640 My dad was George Washington's dad too. 2635 01:52:08,640 --> 01:52:10,640 You did the cherries. 2636 01:52:10,640 --> 01:52:12,640 This guy was addicted to the cherries. 2637 01:52:12,640 --> 01:52:13,640 Yeah, you also have George Washington's teeth. 2638 01:52:13,640 --> 01:52:15,640 A lot of people call me honest. 2639 01:52:15,640 --> 01:52:16,640 No, no, no. 2640 01:52:16,640 --> 01:52:19,640 You're projecting now because you have wooden teeth. 2641 01:52:19,640 --> 01:52:21,640 That's like you have turned my center smile. 2642 01:52:21,640 --> 01:52:23,640 Hey, happy New Year, everyone. 2643 01:52:23,640 --> 01:52:25,640 The Carlos McSeese, George Lopez. 2644 01:52:25,640 --> 01:52:27,640 This is kind of a New Year's episode. 2645 01:52:27,640 --> 01:52:30,640 Take your Christmas tree out of your living room already. 2646 01:52:30,640 --> 01:52:33,640 You lazy pieces of shit already. 2647 01:52:33,640 --> 01:52:34,640 Why don't you do it? 2648 01:52:34,640 --> 01:52:36,640 It's not it's not Christmas anymore. 2649 01:52:36,640 --> 01:52:37,640 Get it over with. 2650 01:52:37,640 --> 01:52:38,640 There's discounts. 2651 01:52:38,640 --> 01:52:39,640 Really? 2652 01:52:39,640 --> 01:52:40,640 Stop. 2653 01:52:40,640 --> 01:52:42,640 Stop trying to make her secularize everybody. 2654 01:52:42,640 --> 01:52:44,640 We sold the North Pole. 2655 01:52:44,640 --> 01:52:46,640 No, everything has to happen for a reason. 2656 01:52:46,640 --> 01:52:48,640 Yeah, it's not fucking Christmas anymore. 2657 01:52:48,640 --> 01:52:50,640 Get rid of the Christmas decorations. 2658 01:52:50,640 --> 01:52:51,640 Now you get rid of it. 2659 01:52:51,640 --> 01:52:52,640 You're lazy. 2660 01:52:52,640 --> 01:52:53,640 New Year's no more. 2661 01:52:53,640 --> 01:52:54,640 Marigolds. 2662 01:52:54,640 --> 01:52:56,640 You keep holiday stuff up until after the New Year. 2663 01:52:56,640 --> 01:52:57,640 That's where you get rid of it. 2664 01:52:57,640 --> 01:53:00,640 I need to buy one of those glasses that say twenty twenty five. 2665 01:53:00,640 --> 01:53:03,640 But like they just say twenty twenty five like right here. 2666 01:53:03,640 --> 01:53:04,640 I like that. 2667 01:53:04,640 --> 01:53:05,640 Yeah. 2668 01:53:05,640 --> 01:53:06,640 Oh, no, no, no. 2669 01:53:06,640 --> 01:53:10,640 That dumb shit where they integrate the numbers into the. 2670 01:53:10,640 --> 01:53:12,640 I remember twenty twenty. 2671 01:53:12,640 --> 01:53:16,640 Oh, you know, the teachers kid at twenty twenty glasses. 2672 01:53:16,640 --> 01:53:17,640 They're so cool. 2673 01:53:17,640 --> 01:53:20,640 The thing is, Yolo, I remember saying that a lot. 2674 01:53:20,640 --> 01:53:21,640 Wow. 2675 01:53:21,640 --> 01:53:22,640 I would joke. 2676 01:53:22,640 --> 01:53:24,640 I would jokingly say you wouldn't say that now. 2677 01:53:24,640 --> 01:53:30,640 I would always ironically in college say like we'd get like a we'd get like a bunch of four 2678 01:53:30,640 --> 01:53:34,640 locos and then I'd be like hashtag Yolo. 2679 01:53:34,640 --> 01:53:36,640 I do. 2680 01:53:36,640 --> 01:53:37,640 It was ironic. 2681 01:53:37,640 --> 01:53:38,640 You guys were fine. 2682 01:53:38,640 --> 01:53:42,640 Yeah, I would say I would say hashtag. 2683 01:53:42,640 --> 01:53:44,640 It's such a. 2684 01:53:44,640 --> 01:53:45,640 Yeah. 2685 01:53:45,640 --> 01:53:46,640 Yeah. 2686 01:53:46,640 --> 01:53:49,640 If you guys were to text me to hang out, I would have been like, oh, yeah. 2687 01:53:49,640 --> 01:53:53,640 Well, you know, that's the only reason I was with us. 2688 01:53:53,640 --> 01:53:58,640 I mean, when I got to University of Iowa, it became the number one party school. 2689 01:53:58,640 --> 01:54:00,640 OK, for sure. 2690 01:54:00,640 --> 01:54:03,640 So one party of what? 2691 01:54:03,640 --> 01:54:05,640 Republican, I guess. 2692 01:54:05,640 --> 01:54:08,640 Repup. It's no, we're all repup. 2693 01:54:08,640 --> 01:54:10,640 It's a Kermit Kermit party. 2694 01:54:10,640 --> 01:54:12,640 Kermit. Oh, I thought you were going to do something funny. 2695 01:54:12,640 --> 01:54:13,640 Oh, this is a liberal talk. 2696 01:54:13,640 --> 01:54:15,640 You don't think it's Kermit impression. 2697 01:54:15,640 --> 01:54:16,640 Hey, everybody. 2698 01:54:16,640 --> 01:54:18,640 What do you take? Take the shot. 2699 01:54:18,640 --> 01:54:19,640 And I think it's OK. 2700 01:54:19,640 --> 01:54:21,640 Won't you change it to the parents of them? 2701 01:54:21,640 --> 01:54:25,640 Hey, hey, don't say hey, don't say the wrong pronoun to me. 2702 01:54:25,640 --> 01:54:26,640 OK, yeah. 2703 01:54:26,640 --> 01:54:27,640 Say voice. 2704 01:54:27,640 --> 01:54:29,640 Yeah. 2705 01:54:29,640 --> 01:54:30,640 All right. 2706 01:54:30,640 --> 01:54:32,640 I guess I'm looking for a job. 2707 01:54:32,640 --> 01:54:35,400 Well, then there's obviously the lesbian liberal. 2708 01:54:37,400 --> 01:54:41,840 Hey, folks, do you have any shoe bros later on that I could buy? 2709 01:54:43,040 --> 01:54:45,460 Jodie Foster, a doctor, Dr. 2710 01:54:45,460 --> 01:54:49,200 Lector. No, I was thinking I was putting lotion on earlier and it started 2711 01:54:49,200 --> 01:54:50,540 making me think of that movie. 2712 01:54:50,540 --> 01:54:53,540 And then Elizabeth Warren says that that's how she stays. 2713 01:54:53,540 --> 01:54:57,140 So young is using a lot of moisturizer or something. 2714 01:54:57,140 --> 01:54:58,740 And I'm like, I love moisturizer. 2715 01:54:58,740 --> 01:55:00,900 It's kind of a lizard person. 2716 01:55:00,900 --> 01:55:03,500 But what about Elizabeth Lector? 2717 01:55:03,500 --> 01:55:04,600 I like that. 2718 01:55:04,600 --> 01:55:06,300 I've never seen them in the same room. 2719 01:55:06,300 --> 01:55:07,760 Lizard person. 2720 01:55:07,760 --> 01:55:10,840 Oh, I keep getting notifications for recipes for some reason. 2721 01:55:10,840 --> 01:55:11,700 I don't know. 2722 01:55:11,700 --> 01:55:14,000 Recipes. It sounds like rest in peace. 2723 01:55:14,000 --> 01:55:16,460 Yeah, they're going to get rest of peace in my mind. 2724 01:55:16,460 --> 01:55:18,100 Uh huh. Yeah. 2725 01:55:18,100 --> 01:55:21,100 So Jodie Foster, there's a blooper in there. 2726 01:55:21,100 --> 01:55:26,860 She was like, Dr. Lector, I would love to have sex, but I'm a lesbian. 2727 01:55:27,340 --> 01:55:28,560 So we can't. 2728 01:55:28,560 --> 01:55:30,340 But then he does the tucking thing. 2729 01:55:30,340 --> 01:55:32,660 And then he goes like 2730 01:55:33,900 --> 01:55:35,860 he does that movie. 2731 01:55:37,140 --> 01:55:39,000 Have you seen Sounds of the Lambs? 2732 01:55:39,000 --> 01:55:41,700 Yeah, which is not funny. 2733 01:55:41,700 --> 01:55:43,200 Sorry. 2734 01:55:43,200 --> 01:55:45,900 It's like the word moist. 2735 01:55:45,900 --> 01:55:49,460 Sorry. Wait, can you know, just say it again? 2736 01:55:49,460 --> 01:55:51,000 And then I'll laugh. 2737 01:55:51,000 --> 01:55:55,640 Hey, Dr. Lector, I would have sex with you, but I'm a lesbian. 2738 01:55:55,640 --> 01:55:58,460 So we can't have sex. 2739 01:55:58,460 --> 01:55:59,960 But I love sex. 2740 01:55:59,960 --> 01:56:02,500 Give me a second. I'm really bad at acting. 2741 01:56:04,860 --> 01:56:06,560 You should be better at it. 2742 01:56:06,560 --> 01:56:08,260 You go to the what is it? 2743 01:56:08,260 --> 01:56:09,460 The annoying. 2744 01:56:09,460 --> 01:56:12,060 No, because I don't pay any more for the improv classes. 2745 01:56:12,060 --> 01:56:13,560 So I'm really bad at it now. 2746 01:56:13,560 --> 01:56:15,160 Well, you don't need a class. 2747 01:56:15,160 --> 01:56:19,740 It'd be funny to take acting classes, but secretly be like horrible on purpose, 2748 01:56:19,740 --> 01:56:23,040 like even worse than you would be like, I would be bad at it. 2749 01:56:23,040 --> 01:56:26,940 But if I was trying to be like the worst actor, but then the whole time 2750 01:56:26,940 --> 01:56:29,260 it was secretly a bit just for yourself. 2751 01:56:29,260 --> 01:56:33,100 And just getting the head shots and getting the tape and all that. 2752 01:56:33,100 --> 01:56:35,940 And it just ruins scenes every time. 2753 01:56:35,940 --> 01:56:36,700 I have an idea. 2754 01:56:36,700 --> 01:56:40,860 I want to disrupt all of improv and Second City and stuff like that. 2755 01:56:40,860 --> 01:56:45,060 OK. And just basically start a cult where I teach people just to live their life 2756 01:56:45,300 --> 01:56:46,860 as improv. 2757 01:56:48,460 --> 01:56:51,060 Yeah, like you'd sign up for the right like there's never. 2758 01:56:51,600 --> 01:56:53,960 No, no, I tell this leaves the room with you. 2759 01:56:53,960 --> 01:56:57,260 I tell people to leave what leaves to leave the leave 2760 01:56:57,260 --> 01:56:59,760 the classes that they're doing and I'll teach them improv. 2761 01:56:59,800 --> 01:57:04,960 I'll teach them to have their have their life probably a lifestyle. 2762 01:57:05,260 --> 01:57:06,600 Make it. Everything's a joke. 2763 01:57:06,600 --> 01:57:08,260 It's the best way to live. 2764 01:57:08,260 --> 01:57:09,940 Which makes nothing a joke. 2765 01:57:09,940 --> 01:57:10,800 Nothing's funny. 2766 01:57:10,800 --> 01:57:13,040 Well, the only time I'm not doing improv is when I'm podcast. 2767 01:57:13,040 --> 01:57:14,560 You're doing stand up. 2768 01:57:15,360 --> 01:57:18,160 What? Yeah. Wait, when will they know what's funny? 2769 01:57:19,360 --> 01:57:21,440 They won't. Yeah. 2770 01:57:21,440 --> 01:57:23,040 Because they won't be in the room. 2771 01:57:23,040 --> 01:57:25,440 Now, what we'll do is we're never funny. 2772 01:57:25,440 --> 01:57:28,640 Well, they hang out with me and then they kind of pick up on what's funny. 2773 01:57:29,480 --> 01:57:32,280 But like what we'll do is we'll sit at a court. 2774 01:57:32,280 --> 01:57:34,640 We'll sit in the corner of Lincoln Lodge, a circle table. 2775 01:57:35,020 --> 01:57:36,180 Give people a hard time. 2776 01:57:36,180 --> 01:57:38,280 You seen Remember the Titans? 2777 01:57:38,280 --> 01:57:39,280 Never. Yes. 2778 01:57:39,280 --> 01:57:41,380 He says never funny, sir. 2779 01:57:41,380 --> 01:57:42,720 Something. Yeah. 2780 01:57:42,720 --> 01:57:43,720 I'll say something. 2781 01:57:43,720 --> 01:57:45,480 Yeah. Never back down. Never what? 2782 01:57:45,480 --> 01:57:47,940 I'll be like I'll be like strong side. 2783 01:57:48,040 --> 01:57:50,740 I'll be like, son, one day one day you can be funny. 2784 01:57:51,180 --> 01:57:53,640 One day you can be funny, but you got to put in 2785 01:57:53,640 --> 01:57:58,360 a I'll say you got to buy these commemorative coins off of the. 2786 01:57:58,560 --> 01:58:03,300 I'll say I'll say it's 99 percent perspiration, one percent inspiration. 2787 01:58:03,340 --> 01:58:06,660 OK, you got to put the time and you got to sweat to be funny. 2788 01:58:07,460 --> 01:58:09,500 And you can get there. I'm level five. 2789 01:58:09,500 --> 01:58:11,800 You were over level two. Second city. 2790 01:58:12,100 --> 01:58:14,360 I could make a big time. 2791 01:58:14,360 --> 01:58:17,300 Big time. It's a tale of two cities. 2792 01:58:17,300 --> 01:58:19,460 Jesus Christ. What about a tale of two titties? 2793 01:58:19,460 --> 01:58:22,900 Yeah, in the wheelchair at the end, he's watching them win the game. 2794 01:58:22,900 --> 01:58:24,000 That'd be a good porno name. 2795 01:58:24,000 --> 01:58:25,000 A tale of two cities. 2796 01:58:27,000 --> 01:58:29,000 Yeah. All right, folks. 2797 01:58:29,000 --> 01:58:31,500 Much forward. It's happy new year to you guys. 2798 01:58:31,500 --> 01:58:34,000 First of all, second of all, happy new year. 2799 01:58:34,000 --> 01:58:38,000 Happy new year to the listeners. I hope you listen. 2800 01:58:38,000 --> 01:58:39,700 I hope you listen to most of it. 2801 01:58:39,700 --> 01:58:41,500 Yeah, I hope you get hot. 2802 01:58:41,500 --> 01:58:45,000 We're going to get our goal for the next year is we're going to get hot. 2803 01:58:45,000 --> 01:58:48,000 We're going to put on makeup before the party. 2804 01:58:48,000 --> 01:58:50,500 We're going to put on makeup before the podcast and stuff. 2805 01:58:50,960 --> 01:58:53,900 I'm going to put on a lot of contour. Yeah. Yeah. 2806 01:58:54,460 --> 01:58:56,100 I'm going to stop fasting. 2807 01:58:56,100 --> 01:58:59,700 Yeah. And then he's going to start fasting. 2808 01:58:59,700 --> 01:59:03,460 I'm going to start fasting. And then I've been slowing down. 2809 01:59:03,460 --> 01:59:06,620 I'm going to stop eating so much pizza every week and an ice cream 2810 01:59:07,100 --> 01:59:09,660 and then maybe do a little bit of weight training. 2811 01:59:09,660 --> 01:59:11,860 Do an improv right now. Yeah. 2812 01:59:11,860 --> 01:59:13,820 And he's what you're doing improv. 2813 01:59:13,820 --> 01:59:15,420 No, I'm not. Oh, yeah. 2814 01:59:15,420 --> 01:59:17,220 Where is oh, no, he's not. 2815 01:59:17,220 --> 01:59:20,060 Oh, not. And not. 2816 01:59:20,760 --> 01:59:23,120 Well, it's kind of I got excited and I'm going to expose you. 2817 01:59:23,300 --> 01:59:25,620 OK, Hikki, you're going to expose me for. 2818 01:59:25,620 --> 01:59:28,800 No, that's the kind of dirt that we expose in the secrets tier. 2819 01:59:29,100 --> 01:59:35,360 Yeah, we expose the financial crimes, sexual crimes and doing improv and and. 2820 01:59:36,900 --> 01:59:40,320 We've frauds like real frauds, financial crime. 2821 01:59:40,320 --> 01:59:42,460 You die for an improv. We docks. 2822 01:59:42,460 --> 01:59:44,100 We docks. We docks. 2823 01:59:44,100 --> 01:59:45,460 We're big doctors. Yeah. 2824 01:59:45,460 --> 01:59:47,420 They got the it was like the docks. 2825 01:59:47,420 --> 01:59:49,400 The docks, combo is what they call us. 2826 01:59:51,020 --> 01:59:53,220 Folks, happy new year. 2827 01:59:53,220 --> 01:59:56,220 Coin shortage. Do you have anything coming up? 2828 01:59:56,220 --> 02:00:00,120 I might be I might be on our show, so I'm not going to announce that. 2829 02:00:03,100 --> 02:00:06,900 I had a whole announcement ready in my brain, but then I totally got distracted. 2830 02:00:07,160 --> 02:00:08,320 Even is there a date? 2831 02:00:08,320 --> 02:00:13,120 You might be on Sunday, Sunday, a live one next. 2832 02:00:13,120 --> 02:00:16,220 I'm not telling you what show you just have to you just have to figure it out 2833 02:00:16,220 --> 02:00:18,760 because it's really hard to like 2834 02:00:18,760 --> 02:00:22,320 to get it's really hard to like remember everything. OK. 2835 02:00:22,620 --> 02:00:26,600 My favorite stand up places are alive one bug house theater. 2836 02:00:26,660 --> 02:00:29,960 No, it's like, oh, I remember what I wanted. 2837 02:00:30,120 --> 02:00:32,160 Yeah, I'm going to do an open 2838 02:00:32,160 --> 02:00:37,020 I'm going to do an open mic set where I I need an improv partner. 2839 02:00:37,020 --> 02:00:38,920 So if you want to be my improv partner, 2840 02:00:38,920 --> 02:00:42,160 I I'm going to just like cry the entire five minutes 2841 02:00:42,160 --> 02:00:44,420 and then I'll hold a cup for your tears of fake. 2842 02:00:44,420 --> 02:00:50,160 Yeah. And then you have to like react as if like you don't know what's going on. 2843 02:00:50,160 --> 02:00:51,960 You're a little confused. 2844 02:00:51,960 --> 02:00:54,020 Like you're going to like try to take me to the back 2845 02:00:54,020 --> 02:00:58,820 and then I'm going to like what kind of jolts and reacts 2846 02:00:58,820 --> 02:01:00,620 like as if he did something wrong. 2847 02:01:00,620 --> 02:01:02,120 And I hope you're going to be OK with that. 2848 02:01:02,120 --> 02:01:04,300 So it's going to look like I'm like you're crying 2849 02:01:04,300 --> 02:01:07,160 and I'm trying to force you somewhere. Yeah. 2850 02:01:07,760 --> 02:01:09,860 I don't know if that looks no, no, no, no, no, no. 2851 02:01:09,860 --> 02:01:12,960 You're not forcing me like we were doing an improv scene 2852 02:01:12,960 --> 02:01:16,420 and I just start bawling and that's like going to be my bit. 2853 02:01:16,560 --> 02:01:18,160 OK, because you hate it. 2854 02:01:18,160 --> 02:01:20,760 Most improv is like this is what most improv is. 2855 02:01:20,760 --> 02:01:24,460 Is not really funny. No, they're like, hey, I have a water. 2856 02:01:25,060 --> 02:01:26,100 What am I doing? 2857 02:01:26,100 --> 02:01:27,260 I have a cup of water. 2858 02:01:27,260 --> 02:01:29,820 Here's here's a cup of water. And they go, thank you. 2859 02:01:29,860 --> 02:01:31,760 No, I just want to. 2860 02:01:31,760 --> 02:01:34,820 It's more of a social experiment than a ha ha funny. 2861 02:01:35,060 --> 02:01:37,200 But I just want I will be wearing a GoPro. 2862 02:01:37,200 --> 02:01:40,220 So maybe that will kind of a pretty good 2863 02:01:40,220 --> 02:01:42,400 improv person doing with a GoPro. 2864 02:01:42,400 --> 02:01:46,360 I mean, like that is that is kind of professional. 2865 02:01:46,720 --> 02:01:48,660 That is kind of professional if you're on the go. 2866 02:01:48,660 --> 02:01:51,920 I saw some break down one kind of a pro on to be on the go. 2867 02:01:52,220 --> 02:01:54,520 Do you know what's your what's your guys's New Year's 2868 02:01:54,520 --> 02:01:57,100 revolution conflict? 2869 02:01:58,520 --> 02:02:02,020 To do a push up a push up and to read. 2870 02:02:02,200 --> 02:02:03,960 What do you weigh a pound? 2871 02:02:03,960 --> 02:02:05,060 It like hurts. 2872 02:02:05,060 --> 02:02:08,960 It's hard to push up. It's hard to push off the ground. 2873 02:02:09,000 --> 02:02:10,860 Wait, why are you fasting? 2874 02:02:10,860 --> 02:02:13,120 What? Why? You don't need to be fasting. 2875 02:02:13,660 --> 02:02:15,220 You said that. 2876 02:02:15,220 --> 02:02:16,000 You told me you were fast. 2877 02:02:16,000 --> 02:02:18,560 I was I was like, you told us, yeah, I was like, you're fast. 2878 02:02:20,360 --> 02:02:21,900 You said that he's sensitive about it, 2879 02:02:21,900 --> 02:02:24,500 but you know who I'm trying to say, I peaked at a certain place. 2880 02:02:25,660 --> 02:02:27,700 Peaked. It peaked. 2881 02:02:27,700 --> 02:02:28,600 You make pee. 2882 02:02:28,600 --> 02:02:30,600 Yeah. And then now I look like this. 2883 02:02:30,600 --> 02:02:32,900 So that's why I'm I wanted that. 2884 02:02:32,900 --> 02:02:35,300 Stopping my fast. You felt like you were. Yes. 2885 02:02:35,300 --> 02:02:37,100 So you felt like you were Dale. You were McPeak. 2886 02:02:37,100 --> 02:02:40,000 No, you can't say he's like sensitive about it. 2887 02:02:40,000 --> 02:02:42,300 You can't make peak is a smaller peak. 2888 02:02:42,460 --> 02:02:44,820 Yeah. Yeah. I was basically. 2889 02:02:44,820 --> 02:02:47,060 So so you're just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. 2890 02:02:47,060 --> 02:02:50,760 Oh, so that's good for the podcast for 2025. 2891 02:02:50,760 --> 02:02:53,420 You're so you're we're going to learn how to forgive and forget. 2892 02:02:53,460 --> 02:02:55,620 So you're going to be hot. You're going to be hot in 2025. 2893 02:02:55,620 --> 02:02:57,920 I'm going to get I'm going to be hot in 2025 in the podcast. 2894 02:02:58,160 --> 02:02:59,900 I might get uglier. I'm going to be I'm going to be. 2895 02:02:59,900 --> 02:03:02,260 I thought you were getting back to your peak physique. 2896 02:03:02,260 --> 02:03:04,700 No, no, this is my peak. I'm going to get uglier. 2897 02:03:04,700 --> 02:03:06,760 No, that's fine. 2898 02:03:07,800 --> 02:03:10,120 You have a lot of the podcast. 2899 02:03:10,120 --> 02:03:14,160 To fill the podcast, the resolution is to get hot. 2900 02:03:15,300 --> 02:03:16,420 So you just get hot. 2901 02:03:16,420 --> 02:03:20,220 We're all going to get no part of the four people or tan or you have to get a buzz cut. 2902 02:03:20,560 --> 02:03:21,760 Healthier. 2903 02:03:23,260 --> 02:03:24,360 I have stringy ass hair. 2904 02:03:24,360 --> 02:03:27,260 I could find some some other fun haircut. 2905 02:03:27,260 --> 02:03:30,160 I don't know. I was thinking about micro bangs, but this. 2906 02:03:30,160 --> 02:03:32,520 Yeah, that's why I just have normal hair. 2907 02:03:33,220 --> 02:03:34,660 What does that mean? Like this? 2908 02:03:34,660 --> 02:03:36,020 Oh, just like that. 2909 02:03:36,020 --> 02:03:37,820 The hair. Oh, OK. 2910 02:03:37,820 --> 02:03:40,520 It's like girl hair. Yeah. Girl. 2911 02:03:40,520 --> 02:03:41,860 A standard girl hair. 2912 02:03:41,860 --> 02:03:46,020 OK, cool. Like I have girl hair like a basic basic women like. 2913 02:03:46,060 --> 02:03:48,920 Like, can men not have this hair? 2914 02:03:48,920 --> 02:03:49,820 Jesus had this hair. 2915 02:03:49,820 --> 02:03:51,260 Yeah, no, men can. Let's talk about it. 2916 02:03:51,260 --> 02:03:52,360 That standard girl hair. 2917 02:03:52,360 --> 02:03:53,560 Zach O'Riain had this hair. 2918 02:03:53,560 --> 02:03:57,620 Well, he's gay in a bad way, not in the homosexual way. 2919 02:03:57,620 --> 02:04:00,900 Dando Cimo looks like a young Mozart. 2920 02:04:01,700 --> 02:04:04,300 Yeah. But yeah. 2921 02:04:04,300 --> 02:04:08,900 So what's your revolution? 2922 02:04:09,260 --> 02:04:10,500 Revolution. 2923 02:04:10,500 --> 02:04:15,920 I'm going to finally like this is not I want to actually make a feature film. 2924 02:04:16,960 --> 02:04:18,620 I'll be this year. 2925 02:04:18,620 --> 02:04:20,760 I it's ready. It's cooking. 2926 02:04:20,760 --> 02:04:22,400 It's bacon. You got in the can. 2927 02:04:22,400 --> 02:04:24,760 It's in the can. I just got to read read. 2928 02:04:24,760 --> 02:04:28,400 You just got to turn some gears. 2929 02:04:28,400 --> 02:04:31,860 Spackle it up. I got to pay some Epstein's and yeah, 2930 02:04:31,860 --> 02:04:32,800 we're going to get it out there. 2931 02:04:32,800 --> 02:04:34,560 Read for any of the arts. 2932 02:04:34,560 --> 02:04:36,120 But she says Epstein, she means Bracko. 2933 02:04:38,460 --> 02:04:39,960 No, no, no. Steven Haas. 2934 02:04:39,960 --> 02:04:41,560 He has the black magic. 2935 02:04:41,560 --> 02:04:43,660 What Steve Hofstadter's he's like a ginger. 2936 02:04:43,660 --> 02:04:45,260 He did. Steven Haas. 2937 02:04:45,260 --> 02:04:46,400 Added to the list. 2938 02:04:46,400 --> 02:04:48,620 Haas. Yeah. 2939 02:04:48,620 --> 02:04:51,100 Dylan plugs and sorry, 2940 02:04:51,960 --> 02:04:54,460 resolution and plug. 2941 02:04:54,460 --> 02:04:56,620 Resolution. 2942 02:04:56,620 --> 02:04:59,500 I'm going to try to make this a hotter podcast. 2943 02:04:59,760 --> 02:05:01,900 I'll do my part. 2944 02:05:01,900 --> 02:05:06,000 Going to try to teach my cats how to play guitar. 2945 02:05:06,060 --> 02:05:10,520 OK, and hopefully make a feel good movie about it. 2946 02:05:10,800 --> 02:05:12,100 OK, like Air Bud. 2947 02:05:12,100 --> 02:05:14,100 Yeah, you should make like an Instagram for the cats. 2948 02:05:14,100 --> 02:05:18,700 Yeah. Like, you know, so quickly, you should do shadow me. 2949 02:05:18,700 --> 02:05:20,200 What about for the cats? 2950 02:05:20,200 --> 02:05:23,660 You should do a flying cat and you throw it throw the cat across the room. 2951 02:05:23,660 --> 02:05:25,860 I'm going to try to get on the news. 2952 02:05:25,860 --> 02:05:27,200 Just animal abuse content. 2953 02:05:27,200 --> 02:05:30,420 Well, you just caught it in slow motion, only to show the flying part. 2954 02:05:30,420 --> 02:05:31,820 Not the landing. 2955 02:05:34,120 --> 02:05:36,760 Or are they making a joke about me shaking my cats? 2956 02:05:38,220 --> 02:05:40,620 Well, no, no, no, no, no. 2957 02:05:40,620 --> 02:05:42,720 No, you have to think about it. 2958 02:05:42,720 --> 02:05:43,660 Never shake your pet. 2959 02:05:43,660 --> 02:05:47,700 You said that's the line, but you got to think about it for for the views. 2960 02:05:47,700 --> 02:05:50,760 You got to say for the views, I walk the line. 2961 02:05:50,760 --> 02:05:53,080 I don't want to dox my cats. 2962 02:05:53,080 --> 02:05:54,320 What are their names? 2963 02:05:54,320 --> 02:05:56,320 Jasper Casper? 2964 02:05:56,320 --> 02:05:58,820 No, we got Floyd. 2965 02:05:58,820 --> 02:05:59,820 Oh, yeah. 2966 02:05:59,820 --> 02:06:00,820 Yeah. 2967 02:06:01,820 --> 02:06:02,820 Yeah, electricity. 2968 02:06:02,820 --> 02:06:03,820 I want to plug that. 2969 02:06:03,820 --> 02:06:04,820 OK, cool. 2970 02:06:04,820 --> 02:06:05,820 Catch me at all. 2971 02:06:05,820 --> 02:06:08,820 As always, catch me at all the clubs, of course, every weekend. 2972 02:06:09,820 --> 02:06:11,820 Follow me a bad boy comedy. 2973 02:06:11,820 --> 02:06:13,820 New Year's resolution. 2974 02:06:13,820 --> 02:06:15,820 Get hotter for the podcast. 2975 02:06:15,820 --> 02:06:19,180 I'm going to be a little bit of a 2976 02:06:19,180 --> 02:06:21,180 hotter for the podcast. 2977 02:06:21,180 --> 02:06:23,180 I'm going to be getting fitted. 2978 02:06:23,180 --> 02:06:26,180 I'm going to be so I'm going to get stronger and get swole. 2979 02:06:26,180 --> 02:06:30,180 I'm going to have like my my my form is going to be this big. 2980 02:06:30,180 --> 02:06:35,180 So I'm going to have to beat off more veins, vascularity, and I'm going to have to switch off hands beating off. 2981 02:06:35,180 --> 02:06:39,180 Yeah, that's how you get strong mainly. 2982 02:06:39,180 --> 02:06:45,180 And then because I don't want to have like one big Popeye arm on this arm, you know, 2983 02:06:45,180 --> 02:06:48,180 that's how I'm going to get hot. 2984 02:06:48,180 --> 02:06:50,180 I guess I do just from sex. 2985 02:06:50,180 --> 02:06:52,180 I do have some home workout gear. 2986 02:06:52,180 --> 02:06:56,180 Yeah, my new year's resolution is to get sex. 2987 02:06:56,180 --> 02:06:58,180 Yeah, yeah. 2988 02:06:58,180 --> 02:07:00,180 That's also not me. 2989 02:07:00,180 --> 02:07:02,180 Yeah, my resolution is sex. 2990 02:07:02,180 --> 02:07:04,180 I'm buying them both. 2991 02:07:04,180 --> 02:07:05,180 I don't know. 2992 02:07:05,180 --> 02:07:06,180 Yeah. 2993 02:07:06,180 --> 02:07:07,180 Oh, yeah. 2994 02:07:07,180 --> 02:07:08,180 I'm trying to change my name is sex. 2995 02:07:08,180 --> 02:07:10,180 I'll even hit the disk. 2996 02:07:10,180 --> 02:07:11,180 I saw yours. 2997 02:07:11,180 --> 02:07:12,180 I'll even. 2998 02:07:12,180 --> 02:07:13,180 I'm sorry. 2999 02:07:13,180 --> 02:07:18,180 I'll even down to hit the discount rack or the clearance rack for some sex. 3000 02:07:18,180 --> 02:07:22,180 Yeah, a lot of call of cards. 3001 02:07:22,180 --> 02:07:23,180 What? 3002 02:07:23,180 --> 02:07:24,180 I got some Marshall gift cards. 3003 02:07:24,180 --> 02:07:25,180 Nice. 3004 02:07:25,180 --> 02:07:26,180 Did you get those? 3005 02:07:26,180 --> 02:07:29,180 You still grandma? 3006 02:07:29,180 --> 02:07:31,180 Marshall's is actually good. 3007 02:07:31,180 --> 02:07:33,180 Marshall's is a good store. 3008 02:07:33,180 --> 02:07:36,180 And I'm also going to I'm going to try. 3009 02:07:36,180 --> 02:07:39,180 I'm going to try out standup comedy, I think, for what? 3010 02:07:39,180 --> 02:07:40,180 In twenty twenty. 3011 02:07:40,180 --> 02:07:41,180 Really? 3012 02:07:41,180 --> 02:07:42,180 Should try. 3013 02:07:42,180 --> 02:07:43,180 I'm going to try it out. 3014 02:07:43,180 --> 02:07:44,180 See it. 3015 02:07:44,180 --> 02:07:45,180 See how it goes. 3016 02:07:45,180 --> 02:07:46,180 OK. 3017 02:07:46,180 --> 02:07:47,180 Well, come on. 3018 02:07:47,180 --> 02:07:48,180 Like where? 3019 02:07:48,180 --> 02:07:49,180 Let us know. 3020 02:07:49,180 --> 02:07:51,180 Yeah, I'm thinking power or something. 3021 02:07:51,180 --> 02:07:55,180 Oh, I thought you were going to do that new joke about Narelle's Berkeley. 3022 02:07:55,180 --> 02:07:57,180 I've been working on for a year. 3023 02:07:57,180 --> 02:07:59,180 Yeah, I think that'll do pretty well. 3024 02:07:59,180 --> 02:08:00,180 Mm hmm. 3025 02:08:00,180 --> 02:08:01,180 Yeah. 3026 02:08:01,180 --> 02:08:03,180 And you said that you might have to work on it for a while. 3027 02:08:03,180 --> 02:08:05,180 But yeah, I got to be together. 3028 02:08:05,180 --> 02:08:08,180 But I think they'll be ready by some point in January. 3029 02:08:08,180 --> 02:08:10,180 Yeah, I'm excited. 3030 02:08:10,180 --> 02:08:13,180 We'll come support and we'll watch the joke. 3031 02:08:13,180 --> 02:08:14,180 Thank you. 3032 02:08:14,180 --> 02:08:15,180 Change over time. 3033 02:08:15,180 --> 02:08:16,180 Thank you. 3034 02:08:16,180 --> 02:08:21,180 Yeah, I mean, I mean, that's the thing about jokes is they develop, they add tags. 3035 02:08:21,180 --> 02:08:25,180 You collaborate with your friends and they help you make the joke great. 3036 02:08:25,180 --> 02:08:26,180 And it's like art. 3037 02:08:26,180 --> 02:08:35,180 But you they also let you have the ownership over as kind of a selfless thing to get together with your friends and, you know, just create art. 3038 02:08:35,180 --> 02:08:41,180 And then like one of them gets it and then you see your friend and once it's ready, you go pick that joke from right. 3039 02:08:41,180 --> 02:08:42,180 Yeah. 3040 02:08:42,180 --> 02:08:43,180 Yeah. 3041 02:08:43,180 --> 02:08:44,180 Yeah. 3042 02:08:44,180 --> 02:08:45,180 And then you steal it and then you copyrighted. 3043 02:08:45,180 --> 02:08:46,180 That's what happened. 3044 02:08:46,180 --> 02:08:47,180 And then you post it. 3045 02:08:47,180 --> 02:08:48,180 You put. 3046 02:08:48,180 --> 02:08:49,180 Yeah, you post a caption. 3047 02:08:49,180 --> 02:08:52,180 You ask like a 20 year old to edit to capture it for you. 3048 02:08:52,180 --> 02:08:53,180 That's the part I don't like. 3049 02:08:53,180 --> 02:08:54,180 That's what Dan does. 3050 02:08:54,180 --> 02:09:02,180 He did when being in the same hung out is we would, you know, we would write jokes together and I would basically do all the content. 3051 02:09:02,180 --> 02:09:05,180 He would write it down because he was kind of like my scribe. 3052 02:09:05,180 --> 02:09:06,180 Yeah. 3053 02:09:06,180 --> 02:09:08,180 And then I took it all of it. 3054 02:09:08,180 --> 02:09:10,180 You're like, so which one of us gets this one? 3055 02:09:10,180 --> 02:09:12,180 He kept saying I get this one. 3056 02:09:12,180 --> 02:09:13,180 No, he just like to go of it. 3057 02:09:13,180 --> 02:09:15,180 He's like, OK, I'll keep this scroll. 3058 02:09:15,180 --> 02:09:20,180 It was a scroll and he used a feather pen and then he he's kept the scroll. 3059 02:09:20,180 --> 02:09:21,180 I forgot the joke. 3060 02:09:21,180 --> 02:09:24,180 So I've never known he was a scribe. 3061 02:09:24,180 --> 02:09:27,180 He is a credible memory. 3062 02:09:27,180 --> 02:09:29,180 Yeah, I watch any joke. 3063 02:09:29,180 --> 02:09:39,180 I have the short term memory of a fucking aunt and not that not like a parent's sister like the bug. 3064 02:09:39,180 --> 02:09:40,180 She is dementia. 3065 02:09:40,180 --> 02:09:42,180 Yes, that's dementia. 3066 02:09:42,180 --> 02:09:44,180 All right, folks. 3067 02:09:44,180 --> 02:09:45,180 Happy New Year. 3068 02:09:45,180 --> 02:09:49,180 We'll catch you in the new year on the flip side in the new. 3069 02:09:49,180 --> 02:09:51,180 No, I'm in. 3070 02:09:51,180 --> 02:09:53,180 Whoa, we'll catch you next. 3071 02:09:53,180 --> 02:09:54,180 See you next year. 3072 02:09:54,180 --> 02:09:55,180 Flippity flop. 3073 02:09:55,180 --> 02:09:59,180 This is a stand. See you guys next year. 3074 02:09:59,180 --> 02:10:28,180 Bye.