1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,120 Hey everybody and Merry Christmas. Welcome to the Bad Comedy Podcast. I want to give 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:11,320 an extra special Merry Christmas to our friends in Israel and Palestine really suffering over 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,520 there. I know they could really use a Merry Christmas. My name is Mac and I'm here with 4 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:24,560 Dylan Roof-Dommer and coin shortage. Adam Kwanzaa. How are you guys and Merry Christmas. 5 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:29,300 I'm great. I have a lot of coins today. Do you think the people, the Israel's and the 6 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:35,560 Palestinians are happy about my Merry Christmas? Listen to this folks. Listen to this morning. 7 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,720 I don't think they have. They probably don't celebrate that. I don't want to say they don't 8 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:44,280 have access to this podcast. They do. They do. It's the public. Yeah. You know it's 9 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:51,760 Netanyahu's first name is Bibi. Who's it? Who's it? Hey baby. Hey baby. Who is this? 10 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,480 Hey baby. You don't know Netanyahu is? No. You don't know anything. Well this is the 11 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:00,520 Bad Comedy Podcast. Not the Bad Political Alignment Podcast. You were calling Herbs 12 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:08,480 Herbs. Herbs. Herbs. I knew how to pronounce Herbs when I was one year old. One year old. 13 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:15,560 It's Herb. It's Herb. H E R B. It's silent. It's like how my last name is silent K at 14 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:23,200 the beginning but not on my social media. It's secret. What? It's Canepar. But it's 15 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:29,600 Nepper. Oh. I just took off the K because it would have been Neeper. Well it's normally 16 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:34,080 no it's normally like when it's an open mic like hosted by like a black guy or something 17 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:41,120 they can't pronounce it. I mean that I mean is Matt Canepar here? There are many. There 18 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:45,720 are many names. There's not that many like black guy last names that have silent letters. 19 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:55,560 There's like non Jefferson. Washington. What do they have against K? No Lincoln. What 20 00:01:55,560 --> 00:02:02,800 am I trying to say? Alex does not. What? So I'm hungover. Alex. You're hungover? No. 21 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:10,000 I was up till 7.30 AM. Doing what? I mean caffeine. Caffeine at the at the I don't want 22 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:18,240 to blow up my spot. I was at the John Hancock building. Why? Because I was just doing caffeine. 23 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:23,720 Collecting signatures. You were doing coke at in the John Hancock? Well actually. For 24 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:30,000 what? Weddings. Caffeine pills to stay up and chat and talk about world war two and 25 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:35,400 stuff. He's trying to make a marriage illegal. So you don't understand men. What men do is 26 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:41,160 they take a bunch of caffeine and they talk about world war two really fast. No. In circle. 27 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:46,240 That's what men do. Or they or they won't do drugs at all and talk about world war two. 28 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:51,480 Yeah. Or they'll be like Brad Kaufman and just buy a bunch of subscribers. I think just 29 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:56,080 in the open instead of instead of secretly buying fake it for ones from India through 30 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:01,920 Sohrab. What is the ratio? He gets two dollars. They get one dollar. One dollar. For out of 31 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:06,680 what five dollars? I'm actually going to go on a campaign and like make a bunch of people 32 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:11,200 subscribe to his channel. No, he has to pay a bunch of money and then I want the receipts. 33 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,520 We need to do that. We need to do the Paul Farvar 50 50 deal with Parkinson's but maybe 34 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,840 for autism. We'll call it no. We'll call it Mark and sends and it goes to my pocket and 35 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:25,640 I split it with you guys. Yeah. We should make puzzles. Yeah. What about Mark? What about 36 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:32,640 what about Mark? What about Mark? What about Mark? What about Mark? Mark? Mark? Mark? Mark? 37 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:37,520 That's a puzzle. Hey, what's up? What's up? Oh, I'm Jody Foster and every other. I'm 38 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:44,080 a lesbian. I'm a lesbian. Do you guys know that? Yeah. So Mac has this great new voice. 39 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:50,200 I drive a Subaru. I'm back and I have. Yes. I have six dogs and I work at the zoo and 40 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:57,760 I wear cargo shorts. I want to get my back blown out with my back. I love when my wife 41 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:05,920 puts on her strap on. Yes. But we're not allowed at the gay bars. They hate us like. 42 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:16,000 They don't they don't play. They don't play this bullshit of my body. We listen to Leonard 43 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:23,680 Schumer. You got to listen to Mac Nepper's joke. No, this is the game. But a lesbian 44 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:31,120 bar is they listen to like Ledgerplin. A little bit of Metallica. Right. What John Hickock 45 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:40,480 listens to. And they go to. Yeah, up a steakhouse. Yeah. So I was. I was guns. Oh man. So I was 46 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:47,040 hanging out with him at the John Hancock building and he just forced me to watch like Metallica 47 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:53,960 and Slayer. Every time I hang out with him and we get drunk. John Hickock. John Hickock. 48 00:04:53,960 --> 00:05:01,400 John Hickock. Yeah. Bearded guy. Okay. The guns. Yeah. He has access to the John Hancock. 49 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:06,680 Yes. Why? Because it's his birthright. His name is John Hickock. So we can go to John 50 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:13,600 Hancock. Well, no, Hickock is like it's that's like a trailer park name. Hancock is like 51 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:18,840 skyscraper name. It's on a trailer park name. It's actually the name of Wild Bill Hickock, 52 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:26,200 one of the best coolest cowboys around the Root and Tootin. He died playing poker. Yeah. 53 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:31,920 He didn't know what to fold. Well now they're all trailer park trash. You made a living 54 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:39,760 with them. They're not a thing anymore. You know that I used to be a river gambler. I 55 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:46,520 made a living dealing cards. My clothes were smooth and honest, but my heart was cold and 56 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:52,200 dark. Okay. I was shuffling for some Delta boys on the way to New Orleans. There's have 57 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:58,480 to be lyrics. I was the biggest shark. I was the biggest shark they'd ever seen. But the 58 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:05,520 captain bumped a sandbar and an ace fell from my sleeve. They threw it through me overboard 59 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:11,280 as I swear I didn't cheat. But I could swim and I'll you know, I'll I'll write again. 60 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:18,680 They call you a fish. Yeah, they call me a gay fish. They call me a Roscoe's and I don't 61 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:25,320 know how to play poker. Roscoe's never played. Yeah, that's a gay bar. It's like like go. 62 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:34,880 I used to live between I was on Newport in it was right between Wrigleyville and Halstead 63 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:41,000 where the Roscoe's and stuff was. And then I didn't shoot many leisure beans walking 64 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:48,600 in there. Lots of gay guys. It's like the old gay spot. Isn't it kind of crazy how many 65 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:54,800 gay guys are on Boys Town? What the heck? It's like this all day over there. Yeah, it's 66 00:06:54,800 --> 00:07:00,360 a great spot for comedy. You know, I hated I would walk to the 7 11 hung over on Sundays, 67 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:06,360 you know, hung over a shit. And then I was like, I need to get a rage. And I would go 68 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:13,320 to go to get a raise. But Sunday, literally, I would Sunday is the fucking main party day 69 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:19,240 for gay guys. So I would have to deal with a bunch of guys do like this. We'll have a 70 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:28,040 big ass like 3 p.m. Yeah, they're like, Hey, like Matt Brown would be walking like prancing 71 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:35,880 around in his sequins, sequined tuxedo. Honestly, I want to start wearing more. He can he sings 72 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:41,960 opera so well. You guys really? Yeah, I sing opera for my last show. No one went to see 73 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:50,080 it. Sing it not not. Do you want me to sing? No. I was gonna sing. I was gonna sing. I 74 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:57,480 was gonna sing. I used to be in the church choir. Really? Yeah. Do you know this song 75 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,680 threw him with him in him in the unity of the Holy Spirit, a glory and honor as heroes 76 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:09,720 almighty father forever and ever. Yeah, but we sing like like Christmas Carols. What about 77 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:21,600 Christ has died Christ is risen. Christ will come again. No, let's take a bite out of 78 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:29,000 comedy folks. So what? So you do some comedy. The other night. Yeah, but I like comedy the 79 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:34,960 other day. I did. I did. Six people impressive. Thank you. It wasn't my show. And then it 80 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:43,600 was mostly. Lesbians with purple hair. No, it wasn't Ukraine. No, they weren't off. No, 81 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:49,920 no, no. There was one lady from Romania. And I talked to her like I try to do crowd work. 82 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:56,640 Was she a lesbian? I don't think so. Yeah, I haven't asked to be fair. Did she drive 83 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,920 a Subaru outback? You can tell by that. I didn't see what she drove, but she talked 84 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:06,880 throughout like the entire show. I love those people. Yeah. I mean, there were six people 85 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:12,440 there. It's that's where you are supposed to do your improvised crowd work. And I that's 86 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:19,320 why I try to say you say shut up, you lesbian. Yeah, because she'll talk during my set. So 87 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:28,960 I was like, go back to your dog. Yeah, so I was like, possessed by a lesbian demon. Yeah, 88 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:42,600 I'm Dr. Fauci. So anyways, I I was doing crowd work with this Romanian chick. And I was like, 89 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:49,080 so like what's going on over there? Like what's the politics? It's like million dead. Yeah, 90 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:54,400 and she's like, well, the one I kind of was zoning out because I was like three cucumber 91 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:59,880 lime meals in and I had two free drink tickets. So I was going fucking nuts. I love the cucumber 92 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:09,360 limes. You guys are done a cute full cucumber. I love that shit. So I like meals. That's 93 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:17,200 strength. It's a good animal. I want to be a hundred percent sober. But cucumber lime 94 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:26,480 meals at beauty bars. The reason why I keep relapsing. I think it's mules that can't reproduce 95 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,960 because it's a mix between I think it's a horse and a donkey mix. That's why I love 96 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:39,280 fucking. Oh, do you? Oh, that's a good idea. Idea for only fans. You do a donkey show where 97 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:45,920 you get banged. Oh, thank you. Oh, guys. That was a good joke. Leave your comments below 98 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,480 and I don't want you to think about it. So keep your eye on only fans. She's going to 99 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:57,040 be launching coin footage where she's going to show her hobbit feet. Yeah, taking pictures 100 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:03,680 of her hobbit feet next week. I will be bathing it in your substance of choice. So just leave 101 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:11,040 it in the comments below and send $5 right because we're bumping up the price soon. $5 102 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:18,480 I got to make an announcement that as a New Year's gift to new people, the price is going 103 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:31,360 to go up. This is going to be very Christmas. Pick in some scabs. What about, what's, what 104 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:36,560 is the, is Kwanzaa? I don't think Zako had his Kwanzaa party at Life Factory this year, 105 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:41,360 which is pretty Zako Ryan. Yeah, he always had he always hosted the Kwanzaa party. That's 106 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:49,040 Kwanzaa party. That's yeah. I laugh at three because he's black. He's a black guy. You're 107 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:57,920 joking. Okay. No, he's an Austin now. But he refused to come back to the Kwanzaa party. 108 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:03,200 Why is everyone going to Austin? They all sent me a Zako. I want to pet your dog. They 109 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:07,920 all sent me a picture of the exact code. Zako was like, he was on the Instagram live, 110 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:15,520 like doing an unboxing. And obviously, me and Zako each other blocked because props. 111 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:21,440 I thought you guys like talked it out. No, he's he's terrified of me. Oh, yeah, I'd 112 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:27,600 be too. After he threatened to kill me. Oh, I was like, what the heck? What the frick? 113 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,920 That's so mean. When I see all these millions of people dying all over the world, I'm like, 114 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:41,200 dude, I started making my 9 11 reaction. And like few of the clips are like, what the heck? 115 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:50,720 Really? Oh, my gosh. What the? Or I'll be like, Oh, yeah, just do a bunch of like, 116 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:55,280 just do a bunch of different like, like the, the Hindenburg going down and just like a bunch of 117 00:12:55,280 --> 00:13:01,520 different, find a bunch of different like tragedies. Oklahoma City bombing. Yeah, you're just like 118 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:06,480 reacting to all the historical tragedies and you're facing just in the corner like, 119 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:13,360 no, you're like, what the? I think it would be too far. It's like, no. 120 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,240 But Hindenburg would be good. Yeah, George Floyd would be kind of awkward. Yeah. 121 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:28,400 It's about be like content. Yeah, but I would say 9 11 Hindenburg, maybe even 122 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,480 in the I don't I want I want to say this word without getting in trouble on YouTube. 123 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,560 Poly polycost. We can do the you do that. 124 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:47,520 But yeah, I feel like the the Pentagon and so they have a lot of pens square now. They have a 125 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:52,080 lot of pens over there. We're all we're spending on pens, which is part of I think what the 126 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,680 Department of Government efficiency is going to get rid of at the Pentagon through through. 127 00:13:55,680 --> 00:14:01,840 I think it's Pete Hegg, Seth Rogen or something. I was thinking like you'd be cool if you saw like 128 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:09,760 Jack Black at like 9 11 Seth Rogen. Holy shit. Seth Rogen and Joe Rogan are brothers. 129 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:15,600 Really? They have the same last name. Oh, yeah. They don't talk. They might be cousins. Wait, 130 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:21,520 Tom Brady, Wayne Brady. Yeah, that's why they both like wheat though. Wayne Brady is pansexual. 131 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:28,080 He fucks pans. Is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a pan? Wayne Brady. That's the one who made 132 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:35,920 out with his son, right? No, that was that was me. I made out with my son. Okay, my son got 133 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:42,240 taken away by my Brady did the thing. The black guy. No, no, that's the Tom. No, Tom Brady would 134 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:47,680 would kiss his kids on the lips, but he didn't make out with them. Okay. It was just like a family 135 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:52,720 thing or just a family thing. It's family tradition. If it's cultural, it's different, 136 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:58,480 but then if it's just a weird one, yeah, especially on camera. Yeah, like, that's white cultural. We 137 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:05,680 smoocher our kids or I would never touch my kid. That's fucking gross. Oh, speaking of 138 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:11,840 something, never get a hip on my hug or anything. Speaking of smooching the 139 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:19,680 the what's that in Home Alone? There's that three or two or there's that there's that crime 140 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:25,440 movie that he watches in it where the guy always like shoots the people. He's like one, two, 10. 141 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:31,280 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yellow. No good. Get your yellow. No good. Keaster off my property before 142 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:37,600 I pump your guts full of lead. Yeah, I love that. But when I heard smooching, he's like, I think he 143 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:47,440 says like, I caught you and this person smooching. So that's why for Christmas, Home Alone, it all 144 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:55,120 comes full circle. I watched the movie pig. Pig. Yep, it was a recommendation from Senator John 145 00:15:55,120 --> 00:16:02,640 Kennedy, the cool John Kennedy. Oh, I love Nick Cage. I love I love 146 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:09,360 I hear it's like no wonder if it doesn't get done in like Congress or because they end up on 147 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:14,480 these like little personal trying to be funny anecdotes and stuff. Well, I think so it was a 148 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:18,000 it was a flood insurance bill where what the fuck are they talking about with? 149 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:24,480 Well, they're talking about share being cool and stuff like I cut out the 150 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:30,720 substantial stuff that Rand Paul was saying. Basically, Rand Paul is saying that we don't 151 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:38,880 need to give people like share and Nicholas Cage, they're rich enough to buy their own flood 152 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:43,680 insurance. Yeah, it's gonna be coming from the government. So he's trying to drill. They're 153 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:48,640 going to move you, John. He was trying to trim John Kennedy's bill that basically covers 154 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:53,200 fucking everyone for flood insurance, which is a good national program because like, 155 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:59,520 a lot of private companies won't sell flood insurance in certain areas. So they lose a 156 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:04,720 shitload of money to do can't really ensure for flood. I'm the insurance whisperer. If you guys 157 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:08,640 didn't know if you ever have questions about insurance. Yeah, well, if you want, if you need 158 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:13,680 property casualty, you talk to him, you need life insurance advice, talk to me. And if you just need 159 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:18,720 someone to talk to, that's me. Well, you need someone to talk to. So she really needs someone 160 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:24,320 to talk to. So if you could give her a call at 847 362, I'm probably putting therapy so I can 161 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:29,680 afford to run. Yeah, you're gonna therapy. This is a I just stand comedy therapy actually. No, you 162 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:35,440 because you don't do it. No, I do. I do it as like a I see it as therapy. I do. I do. I see 163 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:41,920 I see a very therapeutic as well. Yeah. Yeah. That's the back. Hack is thing people say. 164 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:49,840 Even people say that. No, no, I just said a therapy. Yeah. Like, no, go back to therapy. Okay, 165 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:55,200 this is where we talk about guns and pans. Yeah, I literally, I literally made this joke. 166 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,680 I literally made this joke where I was like, 167 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,880 that's supposed to be a yawn, but it's not like somebody was fucking yeah, that sounded like 168 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:12,080 that sounded too. Yeah, too much. Really out of time. Should have turned it down to seven. 169 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:22,160 So I continue. I'll support each other. How many coins so how many coins you got there? 170 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:29,920 I haven't counted. Are you short? I don't know. That's a lot of pennies. Yeah, this is 50 cents. 171 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:38,080 We're dude, I think that I was hanging out with John Hinchcliffe yesterday. Yeah. And the machine 172 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:43,120 gun guy and there was his girlfriend's birthday and then junior met up with us and Dale was there 173 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:51,200 too. And John really wants to have sex with Junior Stapka. John Hitchcliffe. He says he's the best. 174 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:58,400 Well, he is the best. But John wants to bang, they're get banged by him, I think. I asked John, 175 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:03,520 like, if junior in front of his girlfriend, I said, like, yeah, that sounds familiar. 176 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:09,600 I said, yeah, he's he's he's a tour with Stan Hope. He's still friends with Stan Hope and probably 177 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:16,320 still could tour with him. But he just is in and out of shows, but he'll he'll do shows. 178 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:23,760 Part. It's cool seeing just a really talented comic and get no love from the scene, basically. 179 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:28,400 But yeah, then once you but also not he's not like reaching out to get booked, you know, 180 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:34,160 it's like Dale. I saw Anthony Fuentes for the first time last night. I was you saw like one 181 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:40,880 dozen person. Impressed me. I've never seen him before. Where did you see Nick Fuentes? No, I said 182 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:47,920 Anthony Fuentes. Oh, the big fish. Yeah, he's funny. He's funny. I like him because he's scary. 183 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,920 He's very like he's like a lot, though. He'll like come up to you and grab your arm and be like, 184 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:57,600 listen, kid, I want to put you on something big. You like you like to stop. He likes my TikTok 185 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,840 videos. So I'll give him that. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I got I got a cousin who needs a little 186 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,480 help. You know what I'm saying? And maybe you want to like, yeah, maybe you want to. Well, 187 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:10,080 that's probably just me because I have like I'm do video stuff. But he's like, maybe, maybe you 188 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:15,040 want to like film me do comedy. I can like edit it. I can like give you like 20 bucks for it. Do 189 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:21,040 you want to do that? He doesn't talk like that. He does. No, he doesn't. He does. Not at all. He's 190 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:26,480 like, I can offer you a cigar outside. He's more like, and you'll make it a video bar. Me. I have 191 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:32,240 to be on the media. Can you believe that? Media for me. He did a little major voice. 192 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:38,000 It was so good. It was like an Adam Gilbert voice. He's like, yo, man. I was like a midget that 193 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:44,480 was getting thrown with her ass or something. Like, hey, man, like, I don't know. It sounded like 194 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:54,240 a, I don't, I don't. He's like, he's like, I'm I need me. Oh, I saw tiny. I saw the tamale guy 195 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,120 and Dale was like, I hate that. That's my only guy. And I was like, yeah, yeah, you Dale, you 196 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:06,640 hate the tamale guy. Yeah, you. Oh, why? You like you do you at Coles or where? I had a star bar. 197 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:18,000 Oh, star bar. Star bar has a slot machine. Oh, nice. And it's it's not real gambling. I just want 198 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:26,160 to say it for the record for YouTube. God. No, no, but I happened to win in fake money. I won 199 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:33,280 like 200 bucks putting in 20. I hate gambling. And when I say fake money, is that why you only have 200 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:41,120 these coins? I hate gambling. Do they have an open mic there? No. Oh, why are we there? 201 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:49,680 Because I don't need boys. The boys at night and we're fucking rocking and we're we're we're 202 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:56,480 we're sucking the night's D. I'll tell you that much all night. Sucking the night's D all the way 203 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:03,440 till 7am. Why? Some people wake up at 7am. I go to bed at 7am. You were you were partying? He was 204 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:07,840 partying last night. You were partying. You didn't invite Dylan. I wear sunglasses. And he didn't 205 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:14,080 watch pigs a movie with me either. No, I watched pig by myself. That's so fucked up. Well, 206 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:19,120 we're really just like, Hey, Dylan, could you just come over so we can make her another 35 cents? 207 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:25,280 Oh, I also tried to overstay my welcome at John Hickah Ock's house. And I never stand. I would 208 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:32,000 never hang out with me. Yeah. I know I would hang out with John Hickock just like not at his place. 209 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:38,080 His place rules. Like a block away. Dude. He's literally the nicest guy in the world. Oh, no, 210 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:43,840 I bet he is. He's like Paul Farvar accepts he doesn't run a Ponzi scheme. You just know better, 211 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:50,400 you know what happens. These freak off sometimes and yeah, those you wake up. Yeah, I mean, he's 212 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:56,800 behind you. He has cameras all over, right? So that he can blackmail his friends like me. He has 213 00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:05,200 a bunch of blackmail on me. So like what? Like, I can't I guess you can't say blackmail. That 214 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:14,080 sucks. No, you said no, actually, he introduced me to a blackmail. That's what I meant. Okay, 215 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:19,360 cool. Black friend that I met. That's good. Isn't it kind of fucked up that they call a crime black 216 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:24,720 male? Is that not the most systemic racist thing you ever heard? I don't think has anything to do 217 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:30,160 with racism. You get arrested for being a black. I think it just I don't know they label everything 218 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:36,400 like there's like black Friday. I mean, that's that's not a crime. Yeah, black is kind of just 219 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:42,080 like an overall term. But it's also it's also a color. Yeah, it's our it's our favorite color. 220 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:47,760 But it's associated with knowing the race racism of it. Yeah, the critical race theory of it. I 221 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:54,320 have a critical race theory. What's white male or a white collar? White male is not even a crime. 222 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:59,920 What is it? It should be. It should be. We got to equalize these laws. This is a good joke. What's 223 00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:10,880 Asian male? Asian male spam probably is probably a spy spy for China. Yeah, because they're they 224 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:16,320 have a big population. Alright, so on top of deporting, you know, all the illegal immigrants, 225 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:21,280 we also need to deport people that people like about this. Zeezer. I like the legal immigrants 226 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,800 here, honestly, it's kind of a party. Well, no, we'll keep the we'll keep the ones that have been 227 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:29,360 here for a while that have are paying taxes and stuff. We'll get rid of all the criminals and 228 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:34,000 then we'll get rid of the people Zeezer. But what if they're good at stand of comedy? 229 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:38,640 I'm just thinking if they're funny. Yeah, I want them to be in the pod. Actually, could they work 230 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:44,000 on the pod? Well, no, it is always isn't funny enough. He's funny, but he's got to get deported. 231 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:52,080 No, no, no, no, no, no. That was probably the last definitely like the last time. No, 232 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:59,440 no, the last time he was our guest before. He's the he's the fucking Mexican. Can we bring him back? 233 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:04,560 You just remember people. I remember Noe. You don't remember people of color. She's doing 234 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:09,440 proud. I remember Noe. I remember Noe. It just she's not even the last time I've ever gonna see 235 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:15,040 him. She's not even blind. She can't even see. She can't even see. I have these fucking sunglasses. 236 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,280 Not like an aesthetic thing. I need them. Oh, I need to get rose color. 237 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:25,520 For what? Well, if you have rose color lenses, it's like a kind of a filter that makes the world 238 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:31,360 like brighter, nicer. Yeah. Yeah. Like there's a saying like it's like looking through the world 239 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:39,520 through rose color lenses. It's an old adage. Yeah. We have a lot of adages. Yeah. I should get I 240 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:45,440 should get yellow sunglasses. So everything looks like P. It probably wouldn't look like P. It probably 241 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:52,880 looks look more yellow. No. So there's that Brian was making fun like at one point he was like I 242 00:25:52,880 --> 00:26:00,160 was making fun of Brian Rowe or something like said really loud and I was like, Oh, yeah, I would 243 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:07,120 never make fun of that guy in public. Hey, I'm Brian. Hey, I'm Brian. I'm Brian. I'm Brian. 244 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:13,840 I'll suck your penis if I can get going to it with you. Oh, you would never. Where is Scott 245 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:18,560 Darling? I would go on. Darling of the comedy scene. That would be the worst show ever. 246 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:29,280 I'm not as risky. You got to be with the right people. He's that car Ryan. I'm going to India. 247 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:36,560 Indiana. I'm going to all the hotspots in Indiana. India is is that say named after Indians? 248 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:46,080 Because what because because it's all calling someone an Indian is bad or indigenous. 249 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:54,240 And I'm I'm an indigenous person from Indian. So they should change it to indigen, indigen, 250 00:26:54,240 --> 00:27:04,960 indigeniana. Okay, indigen, indigen, indigen, sorry, indigenian is people. Anna. It's funny. 251 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:12,400 There's a lot of Indians there. Even for like the ones that are like, I'm Indian or like I am 252 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:23,040 Indian like they spicy food. That's our feathers. Jerry. So yeah, connected. Also, they need more 253 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:29,840 feathers and that's right. But both do dots and feathers. No, the dots are the dots are the ones 254 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:37,280 from the fake India. Yeah, they're no real the real Indians are the American Indians. Yeah, 255 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:47,600 yeah. So I had to destroy a Native American last roast battle. Oh, yeah. That's kind of bad for 256 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,400 their community. What was their spiritual animal? They do you probably love them because they may 257 00:27:52,400 --> 00:28:02,960 have casinos. So he's saving horse. Right. He said I was I was like, has CTE from getting kicked 258 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:08,880 in the head with a horse or something. I was like, that's my name American name. What are your 259 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:13,520 thoughts on this point? I've been thinking about hiring one half of the one half of the port to 260 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:22,400 kill the other half. Wait, what? One half of the port it like hunger games? No, well, I hire each 261 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:27,600 side to kill the other half. Yeah. What what do you mean? Like what side how to kick the sides? 262 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:33,680 It's just maybe politically that might be the easiest and then and then I'll keep doing that 263 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:40,160 until so it'll be half and then I'll they're higher I'll hire two halves of that until there's 264 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:47,360 one guy left. It's like one. Yeah, but politics aren't like just a binary system even though 265 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:54,800 you're told it's non binary. Yeah, it has it's like a spectrum. Woke is bullshit. 266 00:28:54,800 --> 00:29:03,840 It's a quote from the Donald. Thank you. Thank you, Donald. Once we get our money right, then 267 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:09,360 we don't like Donald Trump. Why would he ever do to you? Did he brainwash my father? Did he 268 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:13,440 select him for like eight years? Are you sure that you're not the one who's been brainwashed? 269 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,480 No, I'm not brainwashed because I don't bring him up every fucking podcast. 270 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:25,680 He either brought him up. No, I didn't. She's implying that you're what about a movie called 271 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:30,080 Donald clumps like the clumps but they're all it's an Eddie Murphy. It's Donald Trump. 272 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:36,400 Right. Different fat suits. That's funny. Yeah. Fat Albert. Fat Albers. 273 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:45,440 That's good. That's good. He should say that on stage. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Chris Fort. Gay, gay, gay. 274 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:51,440 He tried to like do that last night. I'm Chris Fort. He's like I'm fat Albert. 275 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:59,840 Like, hey, hey, hey. I think I think I might have given him a fat that idea. The fat Albert idea. 276 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:05,440 Give him you gave him a hack albers. Because I talked to Chris Fort quite a bit. 277 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:11,120 He's a good, very good dude. Fort Albert. He's like, Chris Fort. He's like, 278 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:17,840 thank you. I'm Chris Fort. Have a good night. Or that's like I'm dark. I'm dark Vader. 279 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:26,640 Did he actually play Darth Vader? Well, when he was in his imagination with this with his friends 280 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:32,160 in school. Okay, that's cool. But he would they would call them they would they would call him 281 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:42,800 dark Vader because he was black. Oh, okay. I'm dark Vader. They used to say I smell like barbecue. 282 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:49,680 Yeah, in high school. You do kind of barbecue. Why? I don't know. It's pheromones. You actually 283 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:55,760 got a swing. You feel like sulfur kind of like Hillary Clinton. Holy. I've been smelling sulfur 284 00:30:55,760 --> 00:31:02,960 like ever since I was seven. Yeah, ever since I got the Maxine I've been smelling sulfur. I've been 285 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:11,440 I've been seeing like, like the future. been staying up till eight a.m. seven a.m. actually 286 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,240 central standard time. Sometimes we'll be up for our international listeners. 287 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:24,240 How much how much did you drink? Probably like 80 gallons. Yeah, a coffee. Oh coffee. 288 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:29,200 Joe Joe kill gallon killing gallon of coffee was there serving us. I've gone on like benders of like 289 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:35,360 three or four days sometimes where I'm on Adderall don't sleep and it's horrible for you obviously. 290 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:40,080 But then by the end of that song, it's fun though. I got to hear like hearing a song like 291 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:45,920 like a new way that I never heard before. I'm like, I need to get some sleep. Yeah, I mean sleep 292 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:50,960 deprivation is kind of a drug in itself. Yeah, it's kind of like it's kind of like the choking game. 293 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:57,360 You know, guys won't you guys want to do the choking game? Yeah, it would be cool. You want us 294 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:04,800 to make you pass out? Well, we're going to all choke each other in a triangle. I'm good. What 295 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:10,560 about a triangle choke? Oh, you know, being a prank if we did if we did it, if we were a human 296 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:23,360 centipede, we sewed ourselves. Oh, that would be such a good prank. Yeah, we should call it like 297 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:28,240 our podcast like the human centipede. We made a cast of over Trump. 298 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:34,720 It was awesome. Strength and numbers. There's so much we have so much power. It's insane. 299 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:42,480 We literally made them we forced a cast his hand of over Trump. I wasn't going to even vote at all. 300 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:50,000 Actually, the main reason I did vote is because I saw on MSWC, they said, yeah, Trump was a fascist, 301 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:55,360 like Hitler. And I was like, I love Hitler. Come in and vote for Trump. Yeah, I know you love 302 00:32:55,360 --> 00:33:05,440 Hitler. I think that I'm totally like, okay, with him just being a dictator. Yeah, I know. I'm not. 303 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:11,920 I love good guys. Yeah, I like people that don't try to take all of our guns so they can rule over us. 304 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:19,520 Yeah, I like when they point the guns at me already. Well, the thing is a fascist leader or a dictator 305 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:24,240 wouldn't be pro second amendment because they would want to take the guns away from the civilians. 306 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:28,400 They can control them. Right. That's how that works. That is how it works. Yeah, there needs more 307 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,560 school shootings. We need more of that. Yeah, because we put ourselves in a place because guns 308 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:40,080 shoot people on their own. Actually, the most recent school shootings have been mostly non 309 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:45,600 binary and trans people if you want to look into it. And his pistols actually, his pistols, 310 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:57,520 they're trying to ban AR 15. You can't buy it. You can't also so many, so many liberals don't 311 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:03,440 understand that you can't like this store and buy a machine gun. People think that like AR 15s 312 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:09,680 are fully auto machine. I can literally go buy a gun right now. You have to you have to you have to 313 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:14,560 get your foot hard and then you'd have to have a few days. I'm literally gonna go buy a car to just 314 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:24,800 make you shut up by a car, but a gun. Also, it's gonna be so easy. Cars killed people by their own. 315 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:34,160 Yeah, I don't like cars either. It's a good movie. So we do need less. Okay, so you should 316 00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:41,200 give away your car. I can't give it to Paul Farrakhan's because we're in a car dependent society. 317 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:52,720 Yeah, I have to fucking drive everywhere. I have to go to Skokie. I can't roller skate because 318 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:58,160 Trump said it's too low. No, he didn't fucking roller skate anymore. He's trying to give women 319 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:02,640 the freedom to roller skate whenever they want and put on makeup. Well, as long as they're, 320 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:10,160 they look like like the have sex with you. I love that like Burkhard joke. I look like the guy. 321 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:18,560 Yeah, Elon Musk. Elon Musk rules and everyone loved Elon Musk. Trump and Elon Musk are fucking 322 00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:27,520 interesting. What you hate gay people? No, I just don't. I hate when gay people are hypocrites, 323 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:32,960 but that would kind of be like a funny movie like let's be real. Like a Republican president, 324 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:39,120 like fall in love with like a CEO billionaire like Nepo baby. What's it like cute? What's a 325 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:43,920 hypocrite? Is it like a hippo with a critter on it or something? Yeah, it's like Cinco Fan. 326 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:53,200 Cinco Fan is an elephant that goes bye bye bye with its trunk. Yeah. Ew, that was such a stretch. 327 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,800 I've been hearing the word. We were thinking about it. I've been hearing the word Cinco 328 00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:02,000 Fan on the news a lot and it concerns me because I think Bob Keen is behind the deep state 329 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:06,640 mockingbird media now because Bob Keen is the only person that knows that word. More like Bob 330 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:13,440 or I haven't seen. Yeah. What about Bean Cub? He's on he's an easy bar because that bar is 331 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:20,640 really easy to get. Yeah. And then you say he gets books a lot on his own shows. 332 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:26,720 Oh, I got I want to bulk him on a show. I want to have a show that's just like edgy comedians 333 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:30,320 and I want to have at the annoyance and have it be a musical and I want him to be in it. 334 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:37,360 Oh, yeah. It's gonna be so gross. Have it at the annoyance and then I'll be like super racist. 335 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,640 Actually, maybe Buckhouse because I kind of want to show my face at the annoyance. 336 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:47,600 Buckhouse theater just sounds like the worst bullwoke bullshit. That's why you want to do 337 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:54,480 it. There's no drinking there. Really? Oh, I just imagine a bunch of no bar. I just imagine a 338 00:36:54,480 --> 00:37:00,240 bunch of bug eyes. It used to be a church. But you would like the chaos of producing a show like that. 339 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:05,760 There. Yeah. There's something about the annoyance. Yeah. It used to be a church. Yeah. And they have 340 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:12,160 this what the satanic Buckbug House theater. I don't know. They just lost. I don't know. That's 341 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,920 like what Steven. I don't even remember what religion Stephen Hofstetter took over a church 342 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:21,360 and turned it into an indentured servitude compound. I commented on one of the yeah and then I 343 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:28,720 deported him from Pittsburgh. I've never been. Why is this guy getting heckled all the time? 344 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:37,280 Maybe it's because he sucks. Who gets heckled. The redhead guy who was like destroyed the heckler. 345 00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:43,200 He's the guy who kind of started that whole thing of guy destroys heckler video. 346 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,560 The layman should have all time. It's all set up. 347 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:51,120 It's like maybe maybe you just suck. He does a Q and A. 348 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:57,920 I got like five times maybe. That's I'm going to steal that. He does a Q and A after the show. 349 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:02,720 And then he asks a controversial questions. And then when someone like says like an answer that's 350 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:08,960 like like conservative or something and he destroys them. It would be funny to have like one of us 351 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:14,240 be a plant for the other audience. Yeah. But he would I bet he would he would recognize my face 352 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:21,120 and let those people like a bigger mustache on. But I kind of caused a rebellion in Pittsburgh 353 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:27,760 behind the scenes. It's kind of a proxy war. Why. Because I want to Stephen Hofstadter out. 354 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:34,640 I like Pittsburgh. I'd be like you suck. He was ruining the comedy scene there. And he had all 355 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:42,320 these lame ass rooms and he would Stephen. Stephen Hofstadter. Hofstadter. Yeah. No Stephen 356 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:47,840 Hofstadter is the guy who has sex with Adam and you like show me a photo of him. Stephen Hofstadter. 357 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:56,560 You will die if you see it. Really. I just on the iPad. It's on airplane mode. Why is it on 358 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:10,480 airplane mode. Lazy mode. Access denied. See. I tried to try it. Oh. Yeah. Well I watched this. 359 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:18,560 Hey what's up. I'm a lesbian. It's a cancel police. They're gonna give me for pretending 360 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:26,400 I will identify as a lesbian actually. Can I do that. Yeah. You can. But I might run into some. 361 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:30,080 I don't know if the lesbians are going to take you. I'll just change the way I talk. 362 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:35,520 Now there's something about like your specific frequency that just matches that a little too. 363 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,840 Oh I found out. Yeah. I could be a lesbian. I have transitioned a few times. He looks like 364 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:48,640 Adam Burke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All redheads look like racist. Stop. It's just like the jaw. 365 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:56,720 What. It's the jaw. The jaw. Jaundice. You had jaundice one time right. Yeah. I fucking love. 366 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:04,800 I bet that Blake Burkhardt would have. No. Sorry. It would have been super attracted to you 367 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:10,400 with you. With your jaundice because he loves the Simpsons. Oh. Because he well you know he beats off 368 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:19,920 to the videos of Homer f-ing and Lisa. Yeah. It's actually a well known fact that I've walked in on 369 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:25,600 Blake watching the porn or Homer fucks Lisa. Yes. Kind of gross. Not even just the Simpsons. 370 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:31,200 It's that one. No. I mean Dale's seen him do it. I have a lot of people. It's weird because he's like 371 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:36,480 beating off several times a day to the same video or maybe a variance of the video of Homer f-ing 372 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:43,680 Lisa. It's cartoon incest. He was a Nobel Peace Prize nominee. I was at. I was at. He was a Nobel 373 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:49,840 Peace Prize nominee. You look at the wrong person. What does that mean? I could I could probably be a 374 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:56,400 nominee. Well then you try being a Nobel Peace Prize nominee and I'll try getting it done. I think 375 00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:02,720 you can try getting something this week. I think I can just nominate Mac for that. Yeah. And then I 376 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:07,120 should win it because I got Stephen Hofstadter out of let's try to get we should all do that for 377 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:13,040 each other with a K. What about the more official about the Brian Crowbell Peace Prize. 378 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:21,200 How about that. Well one night even probably going to win the gazelles because you you made a 379 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:31,040 swear word comment. Oh very nice. Oh. Merry Christmas guys. It's all my hose. So do you know 380 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:36,640 these are y'all little hoes. I think I'm stealing this joke from someone. Why are someone I listen 381 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:45,760 to. Well they all these UFOs are Santa has too many people so Santa has to get a bunch of drones 382 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:53,520 to help deliver presents. So that's why that's what all these not aliens are Santa. I can't wait 383 00:41:53,520 --> 00:42:00,480 till like people just stop. So it's just a digital man. 384 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:08,720 Talking over you. So I go ahead. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm really sorry. Oh. 385 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:20,960 Oh. I'm so sorry. Cannot sleep tonight. I can't. I can't wait till like Christmas. No till till 386 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:27,200 like. OK. Every time you hit that there's like a really high frequency. Right. Yeah. Right next to 387 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:31,200 the mic. Yeah. It's kind of like when that episode where you were just like where you were chewing 388 00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:38,320 the whole time under the microphone. I did that. I was. I was at a mic where it would make like 389 00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:43,680 a noise. No one told me it would be annoying. You can't say away that you're not Jewish. No I asked 390 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:48,320 my Jewish friend. She said it's fine. Well guess what. After a Jewish joke that doesn't 391 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:55,040 you can ask me. I'm 13 percent. Ask me if it's OK. No she's like fully Jewish. I got her permission 392 00:42:55,040 --> 00:43:01,040 on her mom's side or dad's side. Look I don't know because it only passes down from the mom's side. 393 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:10,800 I'm 13 percent Jewish on my mom's side. She's like really Jewish. She's like hi. Can I get some coins 394 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:21,280 from your coin. No she's not. She's not that Jewish. She's not like like Fox News. Like Fauci. 395 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:28,960 I'm. Hey take this shot. I'm. It's going to kill you. I'm so happy. I'm just. 396 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:38,160 I mean hey take it's super liberal to take the shot. I was at Zany's the other day and I saw Blake 397 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:49,200 go in the bathroom and me and I was like I just heard. What's going on. You deserve. 398 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:56,800 Bum bum bum bum bum. And then. Yeah it came out kind of sweaty. Yeah. Yeah. Then you probably 399 00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:04,960 and then you probably heard like something that I'm like I'm here. That's actually exactly. 400 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:17,920 Not that. Yeah Blake Blake Burhart. We're like jerk to Bart. Yeah. Yeah more like Blake. 401 00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:23,200 Blake. How about this more like Blake Birkenstock. Blake. Wait I don't get that. 402 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:30,320 You wear Birkenstocks. Blake Birkenstock. Blake Jerk Bart. Yeah Jerk Bart. I like that because 403 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:35,360 he jerks off to Bart. Yeah. So actually he I think he has been switching more to the male 404 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:40,720 characters. He's watching more to future. Well now he's watching the porn where we 405 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:48,720 were where Bart were Barney from the Simpsons. Fox Bart. I don't remember that one. I got 406 00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:57,120 a lusted. I got molested. He's evolved to the gay gay Simpsons cartoon porn. No. Go back to the OG. 407 00:44:57,120 --> 00:45:07,840 I'm just talking about truth. I'm speaking truth to power. So I. Oh my little spiel about Christmas 408 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:16,080 and then I got to go give us your your Jessica. I feel I yeah I feel like the people are going 409 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:23,680 to stop spreading the lie of Santa Claus to their to their kin. OK. Well well first of all take the 410 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:31,120 that back. That's a lie. What do you mean. Santa is real. Santa is real. Are you talking about Israel. 411 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:42,000 No. Do you think it's going to be Santa is real. But he is on. He's going to come back 412 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:49,680 like the second coming of Christ. Honestly I hope I could use the. Oh sorry. The magic of 413 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:55,760 Christmas again and then it got taken away. Do you. Or do you hate Christmas. Oh but I just 414 00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:02,320 feel like it's your thought that there's this magical thing and then they're basically gas 415 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:07,360 lighting you into believing it and then all of a sudden yeah my parents were so pissed and they're 416 00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:12,880 like why didn't you thank me for your for from your gifts and I was like because fucking Santa did 417 00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:18,560 it you dumb bitch. Yeah. I don't do shit. Yeah. Why would I thank you. I'm thinking Santa. Yeah. 418 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:23,680 It was like it was always weird. Well and then she pushed me down a flight of stairs. I knew Santa 419 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:31,200 was real was that Santa never did that. So my parents would put out cookies like by the 420 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:39,440 tell Fytherin deer and they would be they'd be like nibbled in the morning. So that's literally 421 00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:46,640 proof that you know. Yeah. It makes sense. I found shit on the floor. You probably got coal every 422 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:55,200 year. I know the Polar Santa. It's different. We talked about this. This is what I. 423 00:46:56,320 --> 00:47:01,040 If you're up to the men's Xenia's bathroom or Stephen house and that it's have sex. It just 424 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:05,280 sounds like it sounds like this. It's not funny. I literally have to record a sketch with them and 425 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:15,680 like. All right. And then you got another bathroom. Blake Burkhard is he's going like 426 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:23,520 any last words because I'm going to literally piss and leave. So bad. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm gonna 427 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:29,200 this is definitely the piss and poop episode. Have you ever pissed in your head. I can see why a lot 428 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:37,200 of podcasts detour to this. I'm learning the art of prodding because I've realized that it's an 429 00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:44,080 art and I listened to the last episode and I was kind of just saying fuck fuck shit fuck. 430 00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:50,080 To be fair I was on a four loco and it made me a little loco. No I was my favorite four letter 431 00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:56,960 words. I was off to four loco. I was off of four loco that day. I didn't say like that. But yeah. 432 00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:02,400 Oh be and please don't hate me. I'm sorry for what I said at Beauty Bar. This is Stephen house. 433 00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:10,400 All right. Okay. So I'm going to wait now. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let's do prugs. 434 00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:16,080 Do you have any prugs? Oh, plugs. Do you have any plugs? 435 00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:23,920 Do you have any shows? I you can plug my movie my Christmas movie. 436 00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:29,360 You can plug Christmas or Christmas movie. I'm in a called Uncle Santa. Fuck me. 437 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:35,920 Watch it. Watch it. What. Yeah. How long is it? I don't know if I should be promoting it. I'd rather 438 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:42,640 watch the documentary. Thank you Dr. Fauci where it explains how Fauci basically started AIDS and 439 00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:49,520 maybe the fans can let us know should she be promoting this or not. Uncle Santa 2024 wait 440 00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:56,000 what's it by state park media I play Parker. Wait, wait, it is a fun rewind there. Your 441 00:48:56,000 --> 00:49:00,960 character is Parker. It's it's it was funded by the state run media. No, it that's called. 442 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:07,120 That's what it's called. So the government made you make propaganda for them? No, 443 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:14,640 this isn't this is really funny, but I have to go. So the name it's Maddux McDonald on his 444 00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:19,600 YouTube channel. Check it out. That's a douchey as a name anyone can have. He's from Lagrange, 445 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:25,840 dude. From Lagrange. Lagrange. Yeah, I know Lagrange. Yeah, I fucking love Lagrange. I don't. 446 00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:31,040 I wouldn't live there, but I love going there. But about home home on Lagrange. 447 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:37,440 Right. Yeah, it's easy top Lagrange. I love. So okay, catch her movie. Catch her movie on 448 00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:42,320 it's not my movie. Where do you watch it? YouTube YouTube. It's 14 minutes long as a 449 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:47,600 standard film. What's your well that's but it's not that's not a film. That's like a short. 450 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:54,160 That's a short Stephen Hodge bullshit thing. You got it being that stuff. Okay. And it's a 451 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:59,440 lovely movie. It's very cute. It's very adorable. I like the script. I have a quick question. I did 452 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:05,360 not see it yet for you. What is he a person or is he a robot built by his father Bert Haas? 453 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:08,720 He's he's probably just a Libra. What the fuck is that? 454 00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:20,160 Fauci's fucking daughter. He's like a lesbian zebra or some shit. People just assume. 455 00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:26,480 I'm a zebra. I'm a lesbian zebra cap cap Capri son. I want to I'm a lesbian zebra. 456 00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:32,480 People call me a Libra. Have you ever got like fat shamed for drinking a Capri son? Because I 457 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:39,520 have fucking nuts. Yeah, right? Probably behind my back. Really fat. No. Like it was like a week 458 00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:47,920 ago. You don't get to say you are getting pretty fat. Yeah, dude. My legs are fucking they hurt so 459 00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:53,040 bad because I like like weight lifted. I like squat weight lifted for the first time in a long 460 00:50:53,040 --> 00:51:00,480 time. I did want to say go to patreon.com for the good episodes. I also do want to pitch proposals 461 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:04,480 to you guys. I kind of want to like move like become more like the Alex Jones show. 462 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:13,440 But but hold on. Meaning meaning we need to get we need to get hotter like Alex Jones. 463 00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:18,320 All of us all of us need to get hotter 2025. We're all going to get hotter like Alex Jones. 464 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:24,880 And then if you want if you want to get hot and healthy. Yeah, let's all be tan but like not like 465 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:30,880 racially insensitive tan. Please. Well, you can get healthy by getting the ultimate CMOS at the 466 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:37,680 Alex Jones store.com sending money to that tool. I'd rather send it a Paul Stamets and get some 467 00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:44,640 fucking mushrooms. Well, I got what happened was I offered offered the CIA to pay off the podcast 468 00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:49,120 to be mockingbird media. They probably shove insures down his fucking gullet which is why it 469 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:55,440 looks like a listen to me. All right, I'm listening. So I offered the CIA or else Jones to buy us off 470 00:51:55,440 --> 00:52:01,760 to buy us off and out. The most Jewish looking thing ever. And then I just like you. Well, 471 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:07,760 what happened was I offered the CIA to buy us or Alex Jones. Alex Jones bought us. That's why 472 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:13,760 I'm promoting the ultimate CMOS at Alex Jones store.com. I buy it. But I buy the show. But then 473 00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:20,080 then the CIA found out about this. See, hey, find out that buy things with that purse. See, 474 00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:26,720 CIA found out about this another blackmailing me. How much does this and so I also have to say 475 00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:32,640 we're not affiliated with Alex Jones. Okay, Alex Jones, our calm where you can get ultimate CMOS. 476 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:41,840 Yeah. Um, you can do it. It helps all your glands. It helps like it's a good group. It's Irish 477 00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:48,800 CMOS when this Paltrow, right? Yes, you wouldn't know who the fuck is when it's 478 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:56,800 when it's Paltrow. What a bad name. Dylan, you ever do you plug comedy baddie on 479 00:52:56,800 --> 00:53:03,680 Venmo and cash? Oh, yeah, please. Vem know me. Alex Domegala. Vem know me. Your favorite 480 00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:07,680 fun word to tell. You can bully me. I don't care when 20. When are you when are you when are you 481 00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:12,640 dropping the coin footage only fans when I make more than $10 on this pod? So keep 482 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:20,480 definitely hold on. Keep typing it in. Well, you'll probably make like you might make like 15 books this month. Please, please feed me. I want some 483 00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:27,280 leather butter lettuce when I get home with some vinaigrette. Anyone that that sends her money, it's 484 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:33,840 got to be at least five bucks. It's gonna be at least five bucks, but she'll she'll thank you on the podcast in like a 485 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:41,440 sexy way. She'll be like, I'll just say your tag. No, say like, uh, thank you, Mr. President. Thank you so much. 486 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:45,040 Thank you so much. James Najara. 487 00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:51,920 He's so much changed. Oh, you blocked him. Oh, you didn't block. He's not blocked. Also, 488 00:53:51,920 --> 00:54:00,160 I have money to bipolar BJ on cash up. Okay. Is that literally your name on there? Brian Johnson. 489 00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:05,520 Oh, yeah, he's he's still in his favorite comedian. And he's banned from the podcast. 490 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:10,560 Why? Because it's hilarious to ban him from the podcast. What's wrong with Brian Johnson? 491 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:18,240 Well, he's been on the Lobo Den podcast like eight times. Okay. But I mean, we're allied with the 492 00:54:18,240 --> 00:54:23,920 Lobo Den podcast. We're actually co sponsored with them. I'm gonna go on the Lobo Den podcast. 493 00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:28,160 I've been on it. No, I'd have to like beg like 500 comedians because they're like you're a hack. 494 00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:36,320 No, you just ask. I'll use as Giovanni Diaz. I can ask for you. Oh, yeah. No, well, I'll just show up 495 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:41,600 under the influence like I usually do. And I'll just I showed up like really hung or 496 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:46,880 he's gonna ask you weird sex stuff. Oh, I'm just gonna be like, I don't know what that is. 497 00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:52,080 Well, I don't think I don't think he gets it's like you mean like when he has women, 498 00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:59,440 like he gets into well, what he does is what he does is all he tells the same like sex stories 499 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:06,000 every single episode. Sitting there. He loves Jack. He's like, I love this time when I got tickled. 500 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:15,120 Hey, Oh, I also want to this package also sponsored by Shax. Shax. Or something. Baby mama's calling 501 00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:21,200 me sex. They already already plugged to that Nord VPN. Oh, that's a good one. What about? 502 00:55:22,240 --> 00:55:28,080 I want to plug in Mac of Maca fees security cybersecurity, make a fee. Yeah, we'll plug that. 503 00:55:28,720 --> 00:55:35,600 What about your password? Yeah. Guys, send us your social security numbers and we'll send you 504 00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:40,880 a dollar. God, I really G fuel. I really want to be sponsored by G. Yeah, let me hair escape 505 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:47,440 kind of kind of my plugs. Do you're sorry. Mac, what is your follow me a bad boy comedy. 506 00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:54,640 Every single platform and then catch me in Zaini's not in the bathroom with Stephen 507 00:55:54,640 --> 00:56:02,480 Hosch and that a mattress. He did he have comedy catch me at a laugh factory and I mean every 508 00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:12,160 Janie's actually every weekend for the most part. Madison Square Garden. Yes. And the 509 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:19,360 yeah, catch me at the dome at the bug house theater as well. Catch me at the bug eye bug 510 00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:26,480 eye theater. Definitely. Do they have bugs there? Um, that'd be kind of cool. There's like ants. 511 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:31,360 No. Okay. Well, I think there might be like one painted on the wall. Okay. So you call the bug 512 00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:37,600 house name one bug there. No, that's a that place is bullshit. That's some bullshit. Well, 513 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:43,680 if you ever want to throw your own gazelles, that's it's open. The gazelles is not there. More 514 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:50,800 like the baddies. The bad. Yeah, we could do a baddie. Social climbers. Ellies. Jerry is so 515 00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:56,160 better promoting the fucking comedy. Gazelle. He's like, I like the artwork. Who's the guy who 516 00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:01,920 does the art? Ryan. He's love the artwork. Awesome. You know that he has a Tourette's. Yeah, 517 00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:08,400 he's like, he's all the work. Shake heart. No, he's, uh, that's what they call him. No, they call him 518 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:16,400 Tom, shake, right? Shaker. Okay. Catch me in shakers. I'm not. Oh, I'm banned. I'm just kidding. 519 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:20,320 I'm not gonna get banned. Yeah, we're both. We're both banned. I bet you could. If you both walked 520 00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:24,240 in with like Matt Brown or something, they probably let you back in because it's gay bar. 521 00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:28,000 No, they wouldn't even let me in with my fucking theater friends. No, literally. If you walk in 522 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:33,280 with no, literally with glittered up Matt Brown and Matt Brown, I thought about showing up with 523 00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:38,080 like a mustache and being like, I don't know who the fuck you're talking about and not making a 524 00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:45,600 trans joke out of a mustache, like a mustache in a hat and then maybe like another person, like to 525 00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:50,480 make myself taller and like a big trench coat, those funny gags and then turn on the touch 526 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:55,920 tunes and play the fucking. Hey, I got to go. So we'll close it off. I actually have to go. Follow 527 00:57:55,920 --> 00:58:03,760 me at bad boy comedy. We have a big guest coming up. We have a big guest coming up episode dropping 528 00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:10,720 Thursday. He's actually he's very actually big and wait. He's going to be the next big thing. 529 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:18,080 I'll give you a clue. He toured of Louis CK. He's big. Jim Flanagan. He has a lisp. He works at 530 00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:25,760 Frank and Mary's. That's all. I mean, that's all I can give you. He's really cute. He's he's a dude. 531 00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:31,120 We need to get him hot. Anyways, thanks for listening, folks. Merry Christmas and I gotta do 532 00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:37,520 it. So you yeah, you got to do like an alarm sound effect or Christmas. Oh, telling me I'm not. 533 00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:44,000 Okay, I'll start jingling my coins. Christmas. We're gonna be the hottest podcast. Yeah. 2025. 534 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,840 We're gonna be the hottest podcast. Almost as hot as Alex Jones. 535 00:58:56,560 --> 00:59:01,840 Merry, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to again, everyone in Israel and Palestine. Oh my god. 536 00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:05,520 And folks, we'll catch you. We'll catch you on the other side. 537 00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:10,080 I think we're out of the matrix soon, right? 538 00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:18,480 I'm like a pea. What if I told you I'm gay? It's see a coin footage. But hey, thanks for listening 539 00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:24,320 and go to patreon.com slash Brad comedy for the guest episodes and 300 other episodes that have 540 00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:29,760 been behind the paywall for years. And we love you and we hope that you continue to listen. 541 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:35,200 Make sure you listen to every episode in full so it helps our retention. All right, bye. 542 00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:40,480 I love you. Subscribe please and like our videos. Bye.