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Hey everybody, welcome to the Bat Comedy podcast. I'm the Unibrowmer. I'm kind of like Luigi,

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the CEO killer. I'm here with Gene Simmons or Andrew Dice-Blai.

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They call me Andrew Nais Clay.

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All right. And then we got the famous coin shortage, Alex Demogorgon.

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Thank you. Hello.

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Folks, it is a beautiful day. We're recording this actually after the guest episode that we had with

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a Hispanic gentleman. And I just want to say that it's gonna be kind of hard to do this episode

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after all the racism that I heard from Alex here. I mean literally...

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I don't really want to address that.

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I don't think you left anything off the table. There is racism, xenophobia.

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Sexism, homophobia, even though he's maybe gay or not.

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But Alex, we want to get away from isms.

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Yeah.

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Like the female fairies.

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I agree. I agree. I agree.

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She called herself the female Tom Holman. She said, I'm gonna deport you myself.

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Tim Dillon. I'm a female Tim Dillon. I just report stuff that's going on in the Middle East

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in my hoodie and I'm like excited.

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He kind of stole the whole us thing.

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Like Alex Andrew Jones.

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Where we do the podcast.

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What?

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I think Tim Dillon kind of stole the whole doing a podcast thing from us.

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I don't want to fucking...

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I hate him.

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I think Alex Jones kind of stole the whole doing a podcast.

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The whole Nick doing news.

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I really want to be on Joe Rogan just so I could sit there in silence.

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Everyone would be mad that you grew up with.

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If you went on Joe Rogan, you'd be allowed to come on our podcast because we have a direct funnel from his guests.

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After they go in his podcast, they come on ours.

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Really?

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Sam Talent went on his, came on ours.

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No way.

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More direct connection.

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Have you not seen that episode? That's our only free guest episode.

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I have not.

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Well...

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I don't watch the episodes of this podcast.

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Yeah.

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Or Joe Rogan.

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Yeah.

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I watched the last Joe Rogan podcast.

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What about Joe Slogan?

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Who's that?

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He's like, it's the Joe Rogan show.

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Joe.

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Love to see you smile.

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That's his Joe slogan.

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Okay.

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It's the Joe...

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I'm loving it.

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What about this?

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Joe Rogan now.

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So this is our new intro song.

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Oh yeah.

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It's because we're kind of autistic.

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So it's like trains by day, trains all night, all day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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All day.

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Okay.

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RfK Junior.

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Oh.

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What if other comics died?

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Gay?

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Just because I have worms in my brain doesn't mean I'm related to him.

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You probably do have worms.

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He only had one worm in his brain.

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I only have a specific type of parasite.

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I forgot the name of it because they fucking ate away my memory.

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It's probably the termites in your smile.

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That was a callback to the last podcast I was even playing.

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No.

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To the next podcast.

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Or the next one, I guess, in this case.

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Oh.

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Washington teeth, folks.

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We're actually perfect humans.

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We have perfect health, mentally, physically.

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George Washington was the only Pisces Moon precedent.

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Wow.

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That goes to show what's wrong with this.

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You're into all that analogy stuff.

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Yeah.

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The anal gillie.

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Yeah.

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Anal Jesus.

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Yeah.

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Anal Jesus stuff.

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Yeah.

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I fucking love that stuff.

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It makes sense.

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You know what I am?

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It makes sense.

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You know what I am?

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Aries.

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No.

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Capricorn.

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Nope.

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Aquarius.

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No.

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Self unaware.

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Virgo.

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Nope.

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I already said Leo.

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Gemini.

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Your cans.

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Oh, shoot.

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You got to get more in touch with that.

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Yeah.

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Well, it's not.

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No one cares if someone's a Gemini.

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I'm a Gemini because I have so many gems.

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I'm so rich.

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The most serial killers are Geminis.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I agree.

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I'm so womanlike.

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You know I don't even know that yet.

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Why?

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Well, just look.

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He's not really doing the same thing.

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Yeah.

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But he's just like statistically proven.

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Like fuckin'.

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Oh.

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What's his face?

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Jeffrey Dammer.

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Okay.

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Uh...

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I can't name him because we could figure something out.

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Okay.

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So he has one.

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But because of the words.

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One.

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Okay.

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Me.

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What do you think Michael Myers is?

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Oh, it's.

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We got to find out what Michael Myers is because Michael

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Myers is a standup comedian in Chicago.

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Is the smiley faced killer?

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I have not seen him around for like two years.

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He's been around.

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You just said him.

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Sounds like Kyle comedy bar

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He's been headlining Xanies actually oh for real. Yeah. Oh, I never go to Xanies though

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Well, that's because I can't stand the screeching of Adam Addison Stephen how's having sex in the bath there?

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Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say like it's always like the fight like they're always really good comedians

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But they're always like the same comedians there. Yeah, they mow good. Yeah, like I

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I need more mo good

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No, which is chill no, there's also a comedian they mow bad

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You know him well mow bad

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He sounds familiar mow bad

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What's his like bit? Could you say it word for word? He's like?

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Like Palestinian I look like

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He's Palestinian I don't know

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was unconscious but he looks like a white guy. He was a white guy

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Turns out Palestinian the whole time

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Insane, that's awesome. He can like now talk about it. No, it's like slay

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It's like slay per for sure for sure. Yeah, it's like that's so fetch

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Yeah, definitely not to crawl at all. No, no, that's super to grow

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I think like being like a like mo good like just a black woman be like, okay

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You're getting she's a beautiful black queen. Yeah, that's what I was then it's kind of like to pox mom

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Right now

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I was like, that's not a woman. Mr. Burns

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I love fucking the Simpsons dude. Oh

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Krusty the clown. Well, you don't like you don't like it as much as Blake Burkhart. You want to know why?

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Blake Burkhart jerks off to the porn wear Homer

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Lisa

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This is this is a story that's been going around since I started comedy and it's true apparently someone walked down on him doing that

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Should prank call him and see if he ends I look like my guy

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A guy who beats off to home on Lisa

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I look like oh my god, that would be so embarrassing. They're just like your thing is the Simpsons

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This is the page shot episode Blake Burkhart. I love you. That's not a name Blake Burkhart

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Blake Burton stock we call him or Blake Michigan like Michigan. Yeah, it's a good

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Blake mission, but you hate bald people. I do I wouldn't like platonically. I like him, you know

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So folks, we're gonna give you a scope into the we're gonna give you scope

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We're gonna give you scope into the future

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So I'm gonna predict that coin short is gonna be mean about being bald in the guest episode about Dylan being bald in the guest episode

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And then what's that gonna be based on and then about Dylan having to go to the hospital and get hair plugs

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Yeah, maybe I told him glue it on. I don't care if it's supposed to take nine weeks

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Yeah, and then all of a sudden I glued it on too hard. Yeah

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Come off now. You know I have a spot. You don't have to change yourself in anyway. Well, he already did. It's too late

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Yeah, yeah, I see the new hairdo. It's awesome. You're being you're being very you're being very heiress

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You're being Kamala Harris

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Everyone knows the saying hive minds think a lot

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It's just cuz I'm thinking what you're thinking doesn't mean I agree with it

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Well means you're thinking it means you're sharing the brain

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I'm gonna watch Brad coffins new promo real

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I mean

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I'm sorry for liking your post to suck at your profile. I hope you don't mind mine

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Oh my god, no Brad cough. Such a single fan for just someone that's never gonna help you. Yeah, that's not even a level above you

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Yeah, that's a step down. Oh

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Oh, he's in them a favor. You know he's flat broke buying the likes and making that video that video really put them under

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They're all suckering each other's dicks. I wonder how many lights all collab on this and hopefully it'll do something

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Yeah, why would he why would he start putting out more content that means he didn't have to buy more likes

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Oh my god, even his own fans can only pretend for so long sorrows to shake him down cuz sorrows the middle man for the likes

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of the guy

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That's classic play

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Love both comedians and people

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I think Baldi Dylan. I want to say I think bald equals bold. I think we don't need to talk about it

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I just want to say the bald eagle is the symbol of America. I think you're bold headed. Why bald?

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I think you're bold headed dude. I am bold my doctor told me I'm bold

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for demanding

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Solution turns out as a British doctor is like you bold

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When Alex went to art school, yeah, she's artistic and we all know how that happened

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Yeah, you are told you're autistic. Yeah, well Dylan goes

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Dylan's projecting

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Dylan goes to a lot of different doctors with different accents

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TV he went to

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The doctor said his doctor is from Boston

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He's living Boston the doctor said I said Dylan your autistic and then that is such a bad accident

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You know the guy Dylan your autistic. Oh

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Okay, let's hear you say it. Tell me I'm autistic Dylan you are

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Boston

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Park the car you're artistic

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I've been trying to power up hard for yeah, but so Dylan went to art school for a stand-up comedy

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Because he thought he was artistic. No fucking way really

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You major you majored

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And then it turned out he's our autistic

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No, not painting I said art

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Real art wait

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Art what did you major in finger painting of comedy? Yeah

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Shit, I also major in a comedy now you're in school wait me. Yeah. Oh

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Yeah, no, but like no way

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But I major in a stand-up comedy in Columbia College

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And I said that I would make it really big and then I see them because I didn't

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You saw what it was really like and like everyone everyone's get sued

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Yeah, I'm gonna shoot the president of Columbia College. He stepped down though

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Cuz he knew cuz he knew that my degree was bullshit you mean

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Columbia right

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You mean you're gonna cancel him right? Oh

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Right, sorry, I forgot this is gonna be on YouTube

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I don't know who's taking his place though

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Oh

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Probably the Brandon Johnson mayor Chicago once he gets ousted

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I don't think she could be president of a college

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She could probably be the college. I really don't think she could she probably be like a sub for like a special education class

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substitute

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She was the substitute for 10 minutes. She was the president. Yeah, she was a substitute president kind of even though it was

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Joe Biden being the president. Oh, Joe Biden wake up. I like Joe Biden

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I'm a strong woman and she loves she loves died the Donald

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She looked at him with those eyes

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It's like she looked at Donald Trump impression cuz it's like so fucking creepy. Let's hear yours again. Where you make him sound like a kid

257
00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:04,680
That's not yours is awful. Here's my Donald Trump impression. I look like the guy

258
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,400
Am I kicking a cable

259
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,120
What my kicking a cable

260
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:18,360
Stool out from under me trying to cancel myself. I wasn't sure what color was recording and it was recording

261
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:23,640
There are wrong colors and right colors. Yeah, the right brothers

262
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:28,600
Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, oh, no the right color

263
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,400
How do you pick your vape that you're going to smoke

264
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:42,920
Which everyone's charged. Do you have any smoke? So no, but like how do you pick the flavor like like what's your goats you flavor?

265
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:49,000
I like flavors.com. This one's called pie. Oh, that's what spice girl. Yeah. Yeah. How do you pick? Yeah?

266
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,200
How do you pick your flavors? I always go to VHICS.com

267
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,200
I'm posh kind of baby

268
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,480
Remember that commercial from a long time ago. No

269
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,600
You're like 15

270
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:07,160
I remember like the get connected commercial. I remember like

271
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,600
What which one about

272
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,560
Adele

273
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:23,640
Okay, she was she was fat never loved her that she has skinny and everyone hated her. Well, she got really annoying

274
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,240
Because she was skinny. No, because they like ate her brain

275
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,880
Ate her brain to say the least

276
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:36,920
MIA said that she helped Adele get famous then Adele thanked Beyonce because they're all in the illuminati

277
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,960
This is my thank you Beyonce

278
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:44,600
Oh, by the way, um, thank you Beyonce rfk. We're drinking organic wine

279
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:51,160
Alex being the from Trader Joe's. Yeah, I read who works there as a leftist. They're all trade. Yeah

280
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,800
Exactly. That's why it's called Trader Joe's

281
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,800
Yeah, everyone there is committed sedition

282
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,480
I love spicy. I love sedition. Obtraction

283
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,320
Yeah, I'm multiplying

284
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,680
You like that?

285
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,960
Sedition is a real word and I did sedition

286
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:17,160
In abstraction. I like that word sedition. Yeah, I'm gonna google it though. It's like it's basically the same thing as treason

287
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,320
I want to get

288
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,720
I want to get sedation

289
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:27,560
A lot of guys spoke out recently so that they woke up and p did he was saying I'm almost done

290
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,120
That really happened

291
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:34,200
And not even a bit so yeah, there's too much stuff coming out. It's all off

292
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,240
Stick it in the man is sticking you in that

293
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,760
Sedition I'm gonna add that to my list. It's a remix to sedition

294
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,880
You think it's cool to go to a p diddy party because you're nobody in the north of suddenly

295
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:50,680
Wait, did you guys hear my ins and out? Wait, how about this? It's a remix to sedition

296
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,560
Hot and fresh out the kitchen

297
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,560
This is a new segment. It's Alex with

298
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,960
I'm betraying that country with every man that

299
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:03,080
These are the things that I think is gonna be like in for 2025. Oh my gosh. You should tell us this off

300
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:09,240
Off camera so we can know and other people can't okay. Let's tell the baddie

301
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,440
I think house music is gonna be in. Do you think so?

302
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:17,160
I think so. I think not why I think I think we might go

303
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:23,640
Back to dark dub stuff like that second excision. So no no no I think hyper pop is out

304
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:29,640
Yeah, it is. Yeah, maybe we'll extreme the recession core stuff like people are tired of it

305
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,720
They want something more chill. Maybe this is part of why your D.I. higher

306
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,800
Maybe more like mgmt. We'll see

307
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,040
No, no, they're not coming back

308
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:46,520
No, no, no, no, no, they're they're retiring because they're tired. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

309
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
We're gonna jack marlowe's

310
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:55,880
No, no, those are good that they're good, but it's they're not coming back. Hank william jr. He's coming back

311
00:16:55,880 --> 00:17:03,320
Never he's a dinosaur coming back. No dinosaur. I think bob dillon's coming back because they're making a biopic with tim

312
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:08,840
Tim shalom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Bob Dylan has he's an ancient

313
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:14,120
He's he's like the bad comedy of singers because he has the worst voice. He sold his soul. Yeah

314
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,360
Well, he has the worst voice of all time

315
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:21,320
But like you had meaningful writing and great music around him. He said that he lost it. He said he had it and he

316
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:27,000
He can't do it. No, I saw him live and it was I couldn't understand a word. He said exactly. I saw willy nelson, bob Dylan

317
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,320
John melons camp, you know, you know

318
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,440
Melons

319
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,920
Quick preview

320
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,360
No don't cut back to that no

321
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,080
Hey, they're all beautiful people. They just need fucking

322
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,080
We won't bait you anymore into being extremely offensive.

323
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,080
Thank you.

324
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,080
Thank you.

325
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,080
I would love to have a career by the age of 28.

326
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,080
Who else is in?

327
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,080
Yeah.

328
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,080
Oh, his off.

329
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,080
What?

330
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,080
Who else is in?

331
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,080
Don't interrupt her anymore.

332
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,080
Okay.

333
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,080
Futilism's back.

334
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,080
I think feudalism's going to be back.

335
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,080
I think we need kings and queens and we need the

336
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:23,080
gestures and we need a guillotine.

337
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,080
We need guillotine people.

338
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,080
We talked about this.

339
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,080
I think chivalry is coming back.

340
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,080
Whatever that means.

341
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,080
Yes.

342
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,080
Holding doors and not being like, thank you.

343
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:38,080
Chivalry is like standard manners and everything.

344
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,080
That's all started with the medieval times.

345
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,080
The idea of chivalry.

346
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,080
But also people are like shitting on the streets.

347
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,080
Right now.

348
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,080
Right now.

349
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,080
Right now.

350
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,080
We've had some pretty bad leaders.

351
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,080
That's bad.

352
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,080
No, no, no.

353
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,080
Your leadership doesn't mean.

354
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,080
That doesn't echo.

355
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,080
It doesn't echo what's going on in the country.

356
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,080
But I do think the stand up comedy scene is totally weak.

357
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,080
SNL should just fucking stop existing.

358
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,080
That's why I've been hiding and I'm going to come in my iron fist

359
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,080
and reinvigorate the comedy scene.

360
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,080
Is anyone else in or is that in?

361
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,080
I have not seen.

362
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,080
I have yet to see Chris Fleming.

363
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,080
You guys like Chris Fleming?

364
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,080
I don't know who that is.

365
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,080
He's just the out West.

366
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,080
You got to fucking watch Chris.

367
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,080
You would hate him.

368
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,080
He looks like a gay poodle.

369
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,080
He's not your type of guy.

370
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,080
He's not like a holy wearing white guy with no hair.

371
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,080
Are you just saying Dylan?

372
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,080
Yeah, Tim Dylan.

373
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,080
I just think Dylan.

374
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,080
Dylan more.

375
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,080
It's so true.

376
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:42,080
No, he's like the only one who actually does comedy fair.

377
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,080
No, but anyone ever.

378
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,080
But I want to spell it.

379
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,080
He is at Calvars.

380
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,080
Okay.

381
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,080
He says he wears a wig.

382
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,080
But he doesn't.

383
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,080
Yes, he does.

384
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,080
I think he does.

385
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,080
If you want to know more, check out the page.

386
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,080
You're a check out the Patreon because I actually explain it.

387
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:06,080
Okay, but if he doesn't, it's patreon.com slash bad comedy.

388
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,080
Who's out?

389
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,080
What's the out list?

390
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:15,080
So just these things are so last immigrants, immigrants for sure.

391
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,080
Fast food chains.

392
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,080
Out.

393
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,080
Dei hiring.

394
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,080
Barry Keegan.

395
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,080
Illegal immigrants.

396
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:27,080
He's the he's the guy who cheated with Sabrina Carpenter.

397
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,080
What about Barry Manilow?

398
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,080
That's a good name, right?

399
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:35,080
No, no one has ever talked about him ever.

400
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,080
Yeah, I know, but it's a cool name.

401
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,080
I saw him.

402
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,080
You said Barry.

403
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,080
Okay, I'm trying to.

404
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,080
I'm trying to yes and you just you have all this.

405
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,080
Didis or I do have pipelines and saying red pill.

406
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,080
I think that that's out.

407
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,080
It's out.

408
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,080
Pipelines.

409
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,080
Pipeline.

410
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,080
They're out.

411
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,080
Pipeline.

412
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,080
No, they're bringing back to Keystone.

413
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,080
No, no, no, no, no.

414
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,080
It's gonna be out.

415
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,080
Same with Dogecoin.

416
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,080
It's out.

417
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,080
Dogecoin is going to be out soon.

418
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,080
What about to a coin?

419
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,080
I saw a coin for a week and a crash.

420
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,080
That did not make the list.

421
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:07,080
I'm not sure.

422
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,080
People got scammed.

423
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,080
I love Tony Hawk to a periscope to three.

424
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,080
What else is out for 2025?

425
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,080
Fenty carts.

426
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,080
Fentanyl.

427
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,080
Fentanyl is going to be out less.

428
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,080
No, no, there's going to still be fentanyl.

429
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,080
Like people are going to love fentanyl, but not the cart form.

430
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,080
What about fentanyl shortage?

431
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,080
Yeah, that should be your Instagram name.

432
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,080
Fentanyl.

433
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,080
We should all try fentanyl on here.

434
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,080
I've tried it.

435
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,080
We should do it.

436
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,080
My friend had a deal that night.

437
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,080
Okay.

438
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,080
So I'm not a fan of fentanyl.

439
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,080
No fucking way.

440
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,080
He didn't die, but he went to the hospital.

441
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,080
What?

442
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,080
And then he went to rehab.

443
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,080
I didn't know what it was.

444
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,080
And then I snorted it.

445
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:49,080
And then me and three other people and then we all like firehose vomited.

446
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,080
Yeah.

447
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,080
They were telling him like it's fentanyl and Mack wasn't listening.

448
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,080
Uh-huh.

449
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,080
That's right.

450
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,080
That's right.

451
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,080
Yeah.

452
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,080
Fastened away.

453
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,080
No Coleman.

454
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,080
Then he had to go back to Keller Park.

455
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,080
Oh, what now?

456
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,080
No, it's not.

457
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,080
He just didn't have that much money.

458
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,080
He perfectly wasn't like, oh, wow.

459
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,080
That is like theRIES injuries.

460
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,080
And you had to take over the cart form?

461
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,180
Um,

462
00:22:14,180 --> 00:22:16,180
Yeah, but again.

463
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:17,180
We're all surprised.

464
00:22:17,180 --> 00:22:22,180
out saying I'm a homebody that's really fucking cringe.

465
00:22:22,180 --> 00:22:26,180
But we're bringing back the housewife

466
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:28,500
and bringing women back to the kitchen.

467
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,020
No, yeah, I do agree that the domestic lifestyle

468
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:31,940
is coming back.

469
00:22:31,940 --> 00:22:33,820
Yeah, it can be.

470
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:36,620
But only to the people who like those fuck ass haircuts

471
00:22:36,620 --> 00:22:39,780
where they're like, you know, they're making bread

472
00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,300
and not doing anything else.

473
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:44,140
Just washing fucking teeth.

474
00:22:44,140 --> 00:22:45,500
Oh, 2B's in.

475
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:46,300
2B.

476
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:46,800
No.

477
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,500
The streaming platform.

478
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,500
What do you mean, no?

479
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:50,180
It's not.

480
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:51,580
2B is so going to be in.

481
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:52,380
The Mac is resisting.

482
00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:55,180
It's the only free streaming service

483
00:22:55,180 --> 00:22:57,260
where you can just watch whatever garbage you want.

484
00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:58,780
I have a question.

485
00:22:58,780 --> 00:23:01,780
Why didn't you shave your head when Donald Trump got elected,

486
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:03,700
like all the other little girls did?

487
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:05,340
Why didn't you move the country?

488
00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:06,660
Yeah, they shave their head and they

489
00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:09,140
said they're not going to have sex for four years.

490
00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:10,100
Because bad American girls.

491
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:11,140
Oh, the 4B movement.

492
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:11,780
OK.

493
00:23:11,780 --> 00:23:12,780
4B?

494
00:23:12,780 --> 00:23:13,180
Yeah.

495
00:23:13,180 --> 00:23:14,060
I'm not going to lie.

496
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,580
I really like fucking.

497
00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:18,460
And I don't really care who's president.

498
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:21,780
And I would do it.

499
00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:22,420
I would do it.

500
00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:27,740
But then I totally got lucky with like.

501
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:28,300
What about this?

502
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,740
I joined the four babies movement on Pro Life.

503
00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:33,940
Oh, OK.

504
00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:34,540
Well.

505
00:23:34,540 --> 00:23:35,140
It's funny.

506
00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:38,420
It's kind of like the 4chan movement.

507
00:23:38,420 --> 00:23:39,060
They work.

508
00:23:39,060 --> 00:23:40,140
Why is that funny?

509
00:23:40,140 --> 00:23:42,140
It's like 4B, but it's 4chan.

510
00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:43,540
From a different continent.

511
00:23:43,540 --> 00:23:44,380
Yeah.

512
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:45,860
I don't. Yeah.

513
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:47,020
I don't know.

514
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:48,460
Yeah, the 4B movement.

515
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:51,180
I'm pro-life because I don't want millions of people

516
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,940
to die in wars.

517
00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:54,420
Oh, that's not what that means.

518
00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:55,900
But that's OK.

519
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:56,700
I want to explain it.

520
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:57,700
Are you proud?

521
00:23:57,700 --> 00:23:58,580
Are you proud of death?

522
00:23:58,580 --> 00:23:59,860
I'm so happy.

523
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:00,940
No, no.

524
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,340
I'm pro.

525
00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:03,340
Do whatever you want.

526
00:24:03,340 --> 00:24:05,140
Your boyfriend has a lot of hair.

527
00:24:05,140 --> 00:24:06,580
Do whatever you want.

528
00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:07,060
Yeah.

529
00:24:07,060 --> 00:24:09,660
You think people should be able to grape?

530
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,300
Oh, I didn't say that.

531
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,460
Well, it's my body.

532
00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:14,100
That's under everything.

533
00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:14,900
Well, no, no, no.

534
00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:16,820
Like, I think you should do whatever

535
00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:18,820
you want to your own body.

536
00:24:18,820 --> 00:24:19,980
And what happens in the bedroom?

537
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,780
You could cut your arm off if you want.

538
00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:22,620
I don't give a fuck.

539
00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:26,740
Well, what if I don't want to go to war?

540
00:24:26,740 --> 00:24:28,540
But that's different.

541
00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:31,420
That's like the government controlling your body.

542
00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:32,940
Safe for abortion.

543
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:35,940
Yeah, the government controls women bodies.

544
00:24:35,940 --> 00:24:37,220
And men.

545
00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:37,700
Yeah.

546
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:40,100
Because we get drafted to the military.

547
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,180
If you don't want that, then something's sad to slide.

548
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:42,260
No, no.

549
00:24:42,260 --> 00:24:43,740
You have to go.

550
00:24:43,740 --> 00:24:46,460
Yeah, but you should vote against that, right?

551
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:46,980
Yeah.

552
00:24:46,980 --> 00:24:49,180
I mean, we shouldn't have a war.

553
00:24:49,180 --> 00:24:50,980
Right.

554
00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:53,340
And then you should also.

555
00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:54,300
Slay.

556
00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:54,900
Slay.

557
00:24:54,900 --> 00:24:57,780
Well, men also have to get tattoos.

558
00:24:57,780 --> 00:25:00,180
I say slay king if it's a king of another country.

559
00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:01,780
Yeah, you do.

560
00:25:01,780 --> 00:25:04,500
If you want to be cool, you have to get tattoos.

561
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:06,620
Well, that's, well, yeah, but.

562
00:25:06,620 --> 00:25:07,780
That's my body.

563
00:25:07,780 --> 00:25:08,980
This is a race.

564
00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:10,220
It wasn't even by what?

565
00:25:10,220 --> 00:25:12,980
What else is out for 2025?

566
00:25:12,980 --> 00:25:13,940
How many tattoos do you have?

567
00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:15,020
Do you have like sleeves?

568
00:25:15,020 --> 00:25:16,660
I have like four.

569
00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:18,540
And I hate all of them.

570
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:19,220
Say what?

571
00:25:19,220 --> 00:25:20,980
I only have a snake.

572
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:21,900
You have a tramp stamp?

573
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:22,700
You have a snake?

574
00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:24,260
I have a snake right here.

575
00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:25,700
His name is Jerry.

576
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:27,820
Oh, that's a don't tread on me snake.

577
00:25:27,820 --> 00:25:31,100
Or no, that's the the other snake.

578
00:25:31,100 --> 00:25:32,260
The other guy.

579
00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:34,140
No, it was like the 13 colonies snake.

580
00:25:34,140 --> 00:25:36,340
Yeah, the cut up like, yeah.

581
00:25:36,340 --> 00:25:36,980
Yeah.

582
00:25:36,980 --> 00:25:38,860
Yeah, I can't see it.

583
00:25:38,860 --> 00:25:40,820
I didn't get it because of that.

584
00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:42,900
But I was just like, I want a snake on my body.

585
00:25:42,900 --> 00:25:45,020
I mean, that's not a bad flag to have.

586
00:25:45,020 --> 00:25:46,860
That's just from the country.

587
00:25:46,860 --> 00:25:47,740
That's that's liberate.

588
00:25:47,740 --> 00:25:48,900
Yeah, that's libertarian.

589
00:25:48,900 --> 00:25:49,420
Cuck shit.

590
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:51,700
But like, it's not.

591
00:25:51,700 --> 00:25:55,060
I have this flower from Chinatown.

592
00:25:55,060 --> 00:25:58,140
But I got when I was like kind of manic.

593
00:25:58,140 --> 00:25:58,660
It was falling.

594
00:25:58,660 --> 00:25:59,780
It's falling apart.

595
00:25:59,780 --> 00:26:04,260
How come anything that like is like patriotic is like far

596
00:26:04,260 --> 00:26:06,980
right?

597
00:26:06,980 --> 00:26:10,780
You look at the history of our country and exploitation.

598
00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:17,100
And you realize, maybe maybe the Civil War was an intellectual

599
00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:18,180
battle.

600
00:26:18,180 --> 00:26:22,260
How do we justify how good we had it?

601
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:24,620
I would have to argue not very civil.

602
00:26:24,620 --> 00:26:27,180
Yeah, I feel like war is not very civil.

603
00:26:27,180 --> 00:26:30,740
Every civil war, I'd say never really is very civil.

604
00:26:30,740 --> 00:26:34,220
Yeah, they really just sit down and talk it out like on a podcast.

605
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:35,900
It's like the opposite of civil.

606
00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:38,660
I took I took civics in college and I'll tell you what.

607
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:41,820
So what's not civil?

608
00:26:41,820 --> 00:26:43,500
The war.

609
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:46,180
Dude, Ben Franklin was such a G though.

610
00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:47,060
Yes, thank you.

611
00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:49,100
We were huge fans of Ben Franklin.

612
00:26:49,100 --> 00:26:50,460
He looks like Smart Dale.

613
00:26:50,460 --> 00:26:53,740
Well, being a G is a bad thing.

614
00:26:53,740 --> 00:26:54,700
Wait, what?

615
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:57,100
You don't want to be an OG original gangster.

616
00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:59,420
That means you're a dinosaur now.

617
00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:01,340
Yeah, yeah, like Hank Williams, Jr.

618
00:27:01,340 --> 00:27:02,420
You know, lost in power.

619
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:05,460
You know, when he was when he was 13,

620
00:27:05,460 --> 00:27:08,060
he ran away from his family so he could pursue

621
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:09,500
his dream as a writer.

622
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:10,180
Wow.

623
00:27:10,180 --> 00:27:11,020
He said I ran away.

624
00:27:11,020 --> 00:27:15,260
He's just worked at like a newspaper

625
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:17,020
plant for like fucking 10 years.

626
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:19,220
And then he was like, I'm so bored of this shit

627
00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:22,860
that he made the male he like silence do good.

628
00:27:22,860 --> 00:27:26,820
That's like the thing to do is you start in the mail room.

629
00:27:26,820 --> 00:27:29,580
He was like the first like standup comedian.

630
00:27:29,580 --> 00:27:32,140
If you really think about it, he wrote like a book of wood is.

631
00:27:32,140 --> 00:27:35,700
No, he was the first troll in the right.

632
00:27:35,700 --> 00:27:37,020
Right, right, right, right, right.

633
00:27:37,020 --> 00:27:38,260
No, no, literally he was the first.

634
00:27:38,260 --> 00:27:41,460
Yeah, yeah, no, you made the first nonfiction bullshit.

635
00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:45,300
He was the first like media troll.

636
00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:45,900
Literally.

637
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:47,020
Because he would write articles.

638
00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:52,100
He'd write satirical stuff under silence do good is fake name.

639
00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:55,380
And yeah.

640
00:27:55,380 --> 00:27:58,900
And then he actually had a few different fake names.

641
00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:02,260
It's like when Dr. Doolittle, he was played by every kid.

642
00:28:02,260 --> 00:28:03,060
Dr. Doolittle.

643
00:28:03,060 --> 00:28:07,700
Oh, what you know, 10% is that enough?

644
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:10,020
I'm 13% is that too much?

645
00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:12,540
I'm 13% Jewish folks.

646
00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:13,740
Do you round up or down?

647
00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:15,380
It's unlucky number.

648
00:28:15,380 --> 00:28:17,100
I'm not.

649
00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:19,660
How come how come numbers unlucky?

650
00:28:19,660 --> 00:28:21,780
All right, I'm just going to die.

651
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:24,300
How come Jews and Catholics both get circumcised,

652
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:26,980
but other people don't because circumcision is hot.

653
00:28:26,980 --> 00:28:28,660
I don't know.

654
00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:30,860
Like I fucking so circumcised.

655
00:28:30,860 --> 00:28:33,300
We have a rule on this podcast.

656
00:28:33,300 --> 00:28:34,700
If you're going to be a host on it,

657
00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:35,780
you have to be circumcised.

658
00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:38,580
So are you circumcised?

659
00:28:38,580 --> 00:28:39,580
Not yet.

660
00:28:39,580 --> 00:28:40,980
You know that movie, circumcised me?

661
00:28:40,980 --> 00:28:41,460
Yeah.

662
00:28:41,460 --> 00:28:42,740
Yeah.

663
00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:45,340
I'm on the waiting list.

664
00:28:45,340 --> 00:28:46,740
It's like super sad.

665
00:28:46,740 --> 00:28:49,380
It's like I want everything better be kosher.

666
00:28:49,380 --> 00:28:50,140
It's an adult.

667
00:28:50,140 --> 00:28:52,060
I'm going to go get circumcised.

668
00:28:52,060 --> 00:28:52,780
That guy died.

669
00:28:52,780 --> 00:28:54,100
They got it from Super Size Me.

670
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:54,660
Yeah, it was a.

671
00:28:54,660 --> 00:28:55,660
Oh, why?

672
00:28:55,660 --> 00:28:57,140
Because he ate too many burgers.

673
00:28:57,140 --> 00:29:00,540
Probably from eating a bunch of you poison.

674
00:29:00,540 --> 00:29:02,460
Thank you, J.K.

675
00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:03,980
K was probably like, I told you.

676
00:29:03,980 --> 00:29:06,180
So OK.

677
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:09,740
Yeah, I bet he likes Burger King more.

678
00:29:09,740 --> 00:29:12,700
He said he said he said you like apples.

679
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,700
How about them apples?

680
00:29:14,700 --> 00:29:17,380
I like apples because they're healthy.

681
00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:18,540
Apple juice, lemon.

682
00:29:18,540 --> 00:29:19,500
What about that?

683
00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:20,140
That's good.

684
00:29:20,140 --> 00:29:22,220
Why is that?

685
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,220
Like, oh, J.Lemon.

686
00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:27,900
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, J.Lemon.

687
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,300
There's a money trail.

688
00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:29,820
Yeah.

689
00:29:29,820 --> 00:29:30,820
Yeah.

690
00:29:30,820 --> 00:29:31,420
Paper trail.

691
00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:36,060
Instead of instead of dumbass, he says, damn apples.

692
00:29:36,060 --> 00:29:37,980
Damn apples.

693
00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:41,380
And it doesn't really catch on the same when I say it.

694
00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:44,460
Dude, what if he should just make all his bits about

695
00:29:44,460 --> 00:29:45,260
British OJ.

696
00:29:45,260 --> 00:29:48,340
He's like, he's like, dumb arse.

697
00:29:48,340 --> 00:29:50,140
That's Irish dumb arse.

698
00:29:50,140 --> 00:29:51,140
What?

699
00:29:51,140 --> 00:29:56,540
And they start my fish chips and dumb arse.

700
00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:57,580
And it doesn't work.

701
00:29:57,580 --> 00:29:58,660
It, you know, a lot.

702
00:29:58,660 --> 00:30:02,180
I think Scottish is just a little bit more gritty.

703
00:30:02,180 --> 00:30:03,660
Irish, a little bit less gay.

704
00:30:03,660 --> 00:30:05,700
And I can't understand any of it.

705
00:30:05,700 --> 00:30:06,980
Scottish.

706
00:30:06,980 --> 00:30:07,820
I turned it off.

707
00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:08,820
I know.

708
00:30:08,820 --> 00:30:09,300
I know.

709
00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:10,300
You can't listen to that shit.

710
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:10,940
East London.

711
00:30:10,940 --> 00:30:15,140
It's like, I allow him from East London by the docks.

712
00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:15,620
Gay lick.

713
00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:16,700
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

714
00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,380
Do you know gay lick?

715
00:30:18,380 --> 00:30:20,540
Have a cork in the accent.

716
00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:22,740
I'm not a lesbian.

717
00:30:22,740 --> 00:30:24,020
Gay lick.

718
00:30:24,020 --> 00:30:26,900
Yeah, lesbians lick each other.

719
00:30:26,900 --> 00:30:28,820
We need meows.

720
00:30:28,820 --> 00:30:29,820
I'm trying to.

721
00:30:29,820 --> 00:30:30,820
We don't actually, I don't.

722
00:30:30,820 --> 00:30:34,980
Yeah, I'm going to a cookie party and I was like, am I going to get.

723
00:30:34,980 --> 00:30:36,460
I'm a butcher lesbian.

724
00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,780
I'm a butcher lesbian from East London.

725
00:30:38,780 --> 00:30:41,340
You're going to a cookie party.

726
00:30:41,340 --> 00:30:42,420
Are you a cookie monster?

727
00:30:42,420 --> 00:30:42,940
Yes.

728
00:30:42,940 --> 00:30:44,060
Yeah, right.

729
00:30:44,060 --> 00:30:45,900
Someone told me I'm a Swedish cook.

730
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:47,100
What, should I?

731
00:30:47,100 --> 00:30:48,180
You know, be a good prank.

732
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:48,980
What?

733
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:53,100
Someone gives a toast and then everyone throws toasted.

734
00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:53,780
Like bread.

735
00:30:53,780 --> 00:30:55,100
What's the prank?

736
00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:56,900
Because they're giving a toast.

737
00:30:56,900 --> 00:30:58,580
You throw toast at them.

738
00:30:58,580 --> 00:30:59,740
What's the part of you?

739
00:30:59,740 --> 00:31:01,380
You're just throwing food at them.

740
00:31:01,380 --> 00:31:03,980
You're like, it's funny because it's like the same word.

741
00:31:03,980 --> 00:31:05,500
Everyone frisbees toast.

742
00:31:05,500 --> 00:31:07,660
Dude.

743
00:31:07,660 --> 00:31:08,380
All right.

744
00:31:08,380 --> 00:31:08,820
All right.

745
00:31:08,820 --> 00:31:10,140
Toasting toast.

746
00:31:10,140 --> 00:31:10,620
Toast.

747
00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:12,620
That means toast.

748
00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:14,940
Or you just stand up and say, I'm going to,

749
00:31:14,940 --> 00:31:17,540
I like to have a toast and then you just eat toast.

750
00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:20,020
You don't want to give a speech.

751
00:31:20,020 --> 00:31:20,660
I love toast.

752
00:31:20,660 --> 00:31:21,500
That's a better one.

753
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,100
I like that one.

754
00:31:23,100 --> 00:31:24,740
You're punching up and sitting down.

755
00:31:24,740 --> 00:31:30,900
What about, I like to have a ghost and then there's a ghost

756
00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:33,060
and it kind of scares everyone away.

757
00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:34,100
And then it's like, fuck.

758
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:35,940
Everyone's like, shit.

759
00:31:35,940 --> 00:31:37,980
They murdered him as a sacrifice.

760
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:39,020
You believe in ghosts?

761
00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,500
You ever seen the Lord?

762
00:31:40,500 --> 00:31:41,260
You do?

763
00:31:41,260 --> 00:31:41,900
Yes.

764
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:42,980
Have you seen him?

765
00:31:42,980 --> 00:31:44,020
Yes.

766
00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:45,060
Who?

767
00:31:45,060 --> 00:31:47,300
It's probably carbon monoxide poisoning.

768
00:31:47,300 --> 00:31:48,700
But I try to get chemistry.

769
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:50,100
I saw a chemtural ghost.

770
00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:52,500
If I was a landlord, I would definitely hide.

771
00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:57,820
I believe in ghosts because there was this one time where

772
00:31:57,820 --> 00:32:01,660
I was just hanging out with my buddies when I was like seven.

773
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:02,540
And we found the.

774
00:32:02,540 --> 00:32:03,540
Like seven years ago?

775
00:32:03,540 --> 00:32:04,700
Yeah.

776
00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:05,420
Yeah.

777
00:32:05,420 --> 00:32:10,860
And then we were in the basement and we found a strobe light.

778
00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:11,380
Of where?

779
00:32:11,380 --> 00:32:12,940
Because my dad used to work at a club.

780
00:32:12,940 --> 00:32:13,820
Of your basement?

781
00:32:13,820 --> 00:32:14,580
Yeah.

782
00:32:14,580 --> 00:32:16,260
When I was a kid.

783
00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:19,060
The playroom and the basements were just hanging out

784
00:32:19,060 --> 00:32:20,540
in the play.

785
00:32:20,540 --> 00:32:22,060
I don't like the word playroom.

786
00:32:22,060 --> 00:32:23,300
That's where your dad had the camera on.

787
00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:26,780
No, it's inherently your bed of file.

788
00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:27,780
Yeah.

789
00:32:27,780 --> 00:32:29,700
I don't like the playroom.

790
00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:31,100
That's where your dad had the cameras.

791
00:32:31,100 --> 00:32:32,700
I don't like it.

792
00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:33,300
Is that why?

793
00:32:33,300 --> 00:32:34,380
We did find some cameras.

794
00:32:34,380 --> 00:32:37,100
But we're going to ignore that.

795
00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:39,100
Yeah.

796
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:41,940
They were right in the walls.

797
00:32:41,940 --> 00:32:43,820
They were small.

798
00:32:43,820 --> 00:32:45,100
You know what I'm trying to say.

799
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:46,580
They were in weird angles.

800
00:32:46,580 --> 00:32:48,020
But I asked my dad about it.

801
00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:49,220
He was like, don't worry about it.

802
00:32:49,220 --> 00:32:50,620
It was just for art stuff.

803
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:52,580
Yeah, it was all just artistic.

804
00:32:52,580 --> 00:32:53,700
Yeah, and then he strobe me in it.

805
00:32:53,700 --> 00:32:55,220
And I was like, OK, that makes sense.

806
00:32:55,220 --> 00:32:57,580
Can I do a little bit of therapy here for you?

807
00:32:57,580 --> 00:32:58,780
So I think it wasn't a ghost.

808
00:32:58,780 --> 00:33:01,540
I think it might have been your father filming

809
00:33:01,540 --> 00:33:03,060
you children in your kind of block.

810
00:33:03,060 --> 00:33:05,620
Not your memory, because it was a traumatic experience.

811
00:33:05,620 --> 00:33:06,340
But I mean.

812
00:33:06,340 --> 00:33:09,180
No, we were listening to Madonna hard candy at the time.

813
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:11,660
No, you need to confront him.

814
00:33:11,660 --> 00:33:14,100
And say you shouldn't have filmed us when we were kids.

815
00:33:14,100 --> 00:33:14,620
No, yeah.

816
00:33:14,620 --> 00:33:16,540
I feel some sort of weird anger towards him.

817
00:33:16,540 --> 00:33:17,260
But it's fine.

818
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:19,300
Yeah, it's probably because it wasn't a ghost.

819
00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:22,620
It was your dad's sked a tile.

820
00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:24,660
Can we like say something funny?

821
00:33:24,660 --> 00:33:27,660
Yeah, we're not trying to be here and chase.

822
00:33:27,660 --> 00:33:29,860
All right, I'm going to write down his name.

823
00:33:29,860 --> 00:33:30,860
So I think it's funny.

824
00:33:30,860 --> 00:33:32,460
This is a good way.

825
00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:35,740
I'm trying to write a good set for Beauty Bar 2021.

826
00:33:35,740 --> 00:33:37,980
Or what year is it?

827
00:33:37,980 --> 00:33:39,420
Looks like we're going to Audi.

828
00:33:39,420 --> 00:33:41,100
Oh, well, we're already an Audi.

829
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:42,140
I'm being ironic.

830
00:33:42,140 --> 00:33:43,420
I'm crumpling a rap.

831
00:33:43,420 --> 00:33:45,780
Hey, guys, we're going over to audio, folks.

832
00:33:45,780 --> 00:33:47,300
So this is the worst podcast.

833
00:33:47,300 --> 00:33:50,660
We'll have a lot of rapper noises chewing.

834
00:33:50,660 --> 00:33:52,540
Maybe there's a gun getting cocked.

835
00:33:52,540 --> 00:33:54,820
There's a gun in can getting cracked open.

836
00:33:54,820 --> 00:33:55,820
Remember that guy?

837
00:33:55,820 --> 00:33:58,900
Remember that guy named Chewy from Star Wars?

838
00:33:58,900 --> 00:34:02,020
What about Chewy from Chelsea Handler's show?

839
00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:04,420
That was my dad's favorite franchise.

840
00:34:04,420 --> 00:34:05,300
Star Wars?

841
00:34:05,300 --> 00:34:06,340
He's still alive.

842
00:34:06,340 --> 00:34:08,220
Yeah, they did kind of have some pet.

843
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:10,420
They did kind of have some pedophilic stuff going on.

844
00:34:10,420 --> 00:34:11,140
And then they moved.

845
00:34:11,140 --> 00:34:12,100
Yeah.

846
00:34:12,100 --> 00:34:14,620
So he's dead to you.

847
00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:17,100
He's dead to rights.

848
00:34:17,100 --> 00:34:18,940
OK, and all seriousness, I'm fine.

849
00:34:18,940 --> 00:34:20,340
I never got dittled.

850
00:34:20,340 --> 00:34:21,580
You did?

851
00:34:21,580 --> 00:34:22,700
Surprisingly.

852
00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:24,100
I never got dittled.

853
00:34:24,100 --> 00:34:27,180
I never got dittled in the witty witty hours.

854
00:34:27,180 --> 00:34:29,980
Jamie, could we get a fact check on that?

855
00:34:29,980 --> 00:34:32,660
I never got dittled in my witty hours.

856
00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:33,540
Yeah.

857
00:34:33,540 --> 00:34:36,820
That's why I'm so bad at stand up, though.

858
00:34:36,820 --> 00:34:39,140
Because you never got molested.

859
00:34:39,140 --> 00:34:40,900
And my parents are still together.

860
00:34:40,900 --> 00:34:42,260
Oh, Jesus.

861
00:34:42,260 --> 00:34:45,180
You're gentrifying us right now.

862
00:34:45,180 --> 00:34:46,900
Wait, are your parents your boys?

863
00:34:46,900 --> 00:34:47,860
Of course.

864
00:34:47,860 --> 00:34:49,340
Oh, are your parents of course?

865
00:34:49,340 --> 00:34:49,860
Yeah.

866
00:34:49,860 --> 00:34:50,940
Holy fuck.

867
00:34:50,940 --> 00:34:52,180
Shit, they need to get divorced.

868
00:34:52,180 --> 00:34:54,580
See, my parents are unhappy, but they just

869
00:34:54,580 --> 00:34:56,620
don't want to get a divorce because they're brainwashed.

870
00:34:56,620 --> 00:34:57,100
I don't know.

871
00:34:57,100 --> 00:35:01,420
Well, I think your mom probably has a boyfriend,

872
00:35:01,420 --> 00:35:04,100
and then your dad likes kids.

873
00:35:04,100 --> 00:35:05,100
No.

874
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:07,380
Is your dad a cuck or a pedophile?

875
00:35:07,380 --> 00:35:08,380
Or neither.

876
00:35:08,380 --> 00:35:09,660
I'll ask him later.

877
00:35:09,660 --> 00:35:10,420
Maybe neither.

878
00:35:10,420 --> 00:35:11,140
OK, I'll call.

879
00:35:11,140 --> 00:35:14,620
You should confront him and say, this guy, this therapist,

880
00:35:14,620 --> 00:35:16,780
told me I might be blocking out.

881
00:35:16,780 --> 00:35:18,180
I was like, yeah, I talked to you.

882
00:35:18,180 --> 00:35:19,660
I talked about you on the podcast.

883
00:35:19,660 --> 00:35:22,180
I was joking that you were a pedophile for like 30 minutes.

884
00:35:22,180 --> 00:35:25,980
But just let me know if you like how many insights.

885
00:35:25,980 --> 00:35:26,460
You know that?

886
00:35:26,460 --> 00:35:30,180
I didn't even know what a pedophile was until last year.

887
00:35:30,180 --> 00:35:32,660
I always thought it was somebody who worked for a podiatrist

888
00:35:32,660 --> 00:35:35,100
would file a wake on all the files.

889
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:37,180
Oh, I thought it's because you watch Fox News.

890
00:35:37,180 --> 00:35:39,020
No, it's because I watch like files.

891
00:35:39,020 --> 00:35:45,980
And I also watch Chris, the guy who says,

892
00:35:45,980 --> 00:35:47,540
take a seat, pedophile guy.

893
00:35:47,540 --> 00:35:50,220
You know, I got a lot of job in a dogs.

894
00:35:50,220 --> 00:35:51,740
I'm an A name Ramsey.

895
00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:52,500
That's black one.

896
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,500
He's so funny.

897
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:55,700
Hanson.

898
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:56,900
Yeah, yeah.

899
00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:58,900
Yeah, Chris Hanson.

900
00:35:58,900 --> 00:36:02,900
That reminds me of Jim Henson, the Muppets creator.

901
00:36:02,900 --> 00:36:05,340
There goes Mr. Humbug.

902
00:36:05,340 --> 00:36:07,140
There goes Mr. Grimm.

903
00:36:07,140 --> 00:36:08,780
That's from the Muppets Christmas Carol.

904
00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:09,700
I saw Brian Johnson.

905
00:36:09,700 --> 00:36:12,700
I'm a big Muppets Christmas Carol fan.

906
00:36:12,700 --> 00:36:15,580
What about Muppets Schindler's List, Brian Johnson?

907
00:36:15,580 --> 00:36:16,300
I like that.

908
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:17,300
I like that.

909
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:21,300
There goes the Nazi guards again.

910
00:36:21,300 --> 00:36:22,780
Will they let us down?

911
00:36:22,780 --> 00:36:25,780
What's your New Year's resolution before the year ends?

912
00:36:25,780 --> 00:36:27,300
Have you finished all of them?

913
00:36:27,300 --> 00:36:30,100
It was to watch Muppets Christmas Carol a few times.

914
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:31,660
All right, Dylan, yours?

915
00:36:31,660 --> 00:36:35,220
My New Year's resolution is conflict.

916
00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:36,460
All right.

917
00:36:36,460 --> 00:36:38,340
Resolution.

918
00:36:38,340 --> 00:36:39,820
I like conflict.

919
00:36:39,820 --> 00:36:42,260
I'm for conflict evolution.

920
00:36:42,260 --> 00:36:44,420
But in my personal life, I want any more ops.

921
00:36:44,420 --> 00:36:46,540
I need to get out there and give people a hard time.

922
00:36:46,540 --> 00:36:48,380
I think we need to stop being selfish.

923
00:36:48,380 --> 00:36:49,940
Who do you want to attack next?

924
00:36:49,940 --> 00:36:50,940
I don't really.

925
00:36:50,940 --> 00:36:53,820
I mean, we can attack any of these people.

926
00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:54,420
How about the Patriarchy?

927
00:36:54,420 --> 00:36:56,020
It happens naturally, you know?

928
00:36:56,020 --> 00:36:57,660
No, the Patriarch.

929
00:36:57,660 --> 00:36:58,660
OK.

930
00:36:58,660 --> 00:36:59,540
Let's put the Patriarch.

931
00:36:59,540 --> 00:37:02,060
Patriarchy is in moving forward.

932
00:37:02,060 --> 00:37:03,140
No, I think that's how it works.

933
00:37:03,140 --> 00:37:05,740
Yeah, I do see the, yeah.

934
00:37:05,740 --> 00:37:08,580
I mean, I would love to be a housewife and just like,

935
00:37:08,580 --> 00:37:10,940
you know, you just kind of hang out and watch daytime TV.

936
00:37:10,940 --> 00:37:11,620
And you just kind of.

937
00:37:11,620 --> 00:37:12,500
I don't want to be depressed.

938
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:13,940
You could get a sugar daddy.

939
00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:15,380
It's not that hard.

940
00:37:15,380 --> 00:37:16,580
It's really not.

941
00:37:16,580 --> 00:37:17,980
I'm a sugar mama.

942
00:37:17,980 --> 00:37:19,700
You need no sugar babies.

943
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,060
It's got to be a girl.

944
00:37:21,060 --> 00:37:22,580
Why?

945
00:37:22,580 --> 00:37:25,460
Because because it's.

946
00:37:25,460 --> 00:37:26,500
I don't know if you know how.

947
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,620
You talk about it.

948
00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:29,500
Reproduction.

949
00:37:29,500 --> 00:37:31,140
Know how brinaries work.

950
00:37:31,140 --> 00:37:34,900
No, but no, sugar mamas don't like the woman or it's really

951
00:37:34,900 --> 00:37:36,740
hard for them to become CEOs and shit.

952
00:37:36,740 --> 00:37:37,980
You've got to get a sugar daddy.

953
00:37:37,980 --> 00:37:38,700
No, I see.

954
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:42,060
I just need to get a rich cougar that had a sugar daddy.

955
00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:42,580
It's like this.

956
00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:43,460
They don't work like that.

957
00:37:43,460 --> 00:37:45,380
They don't share their wealth.

958
00:37:45,380 --> 00:37:46,180
This is a girl.

959
00:37:46,180 --> 00:37:47,740
Now, when I trick them into marriage,

960
00:37:47,740 --> 00:37:49,660
I manipulate them into marrying me.

961
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:50,300
OK.

962
00:37:50,300 --> 00:37:53,780
Then, you know, I read the book, How

963
00:37:53,780 --> 00:37:55,460
to Make Friends and Influence Others.

964
00:37:55,460 --> 00:37:57,860
That book is really how to manipulate people.

965
00:37:57,860 --> 00:38:01,340
And so I can manipulate a cougar for her to marry me.

966
00:38:01,340 --> 00:38:02,020
I could have.

967
00:38:02,020 --> 00:38:03,660
I'll say, I love you so much.

968
00:38:03,660 --> 00:38:04,940
You don't need to bring up.

969
00:38:04,940 --> 00:38:07,140
I mean, that would just show that, you know, like, you don't

970
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:07,580
trust me.

971
00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:09,860
Yeah, you don't believe in us.

972
00:38:09,860 --> 00:38:12,100
I would say, what about love, chief?

973
00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:14,140
It's like this entry level employee.

974
00:38:14,140 --> 00:38:16,620
She's really taking charge and doing a good job.

975
00:38:16,620 --> 00:38:18,060
She seems bossy.

976
00:38:18,060 --> 00:38:18,660
Yeah.

977
00:38:18,660 --> 00:38:19,500
You ask me.

978
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:21,060
Do you guys remember that song, Bossy?

979
00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:22,100
I'm bossy.

980
00:38:22,100 --> 00:38:23,500
I love Bossy.

981
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:24,580
I do remember that song.

982
00:38:24,580 --> 00:38:28,460
But I do want to make a lot of money.

983
00:38:28,460 --> 00:38:29,060
You do want money.

984
00:38:29,060 --> 00:38:30,260
I do want to make a lot of money.

985
00:38:30,260 --> 00:38:32,820
What's a good way of making a lot of money?

986
00:38:32,820 --> 00:38:34,220
Like, what coin should I invest in?

987
00:38:34,220 --> 00:38:35,100
I was trying to tell you.

988
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:38,220
What comedian should I, like, network with and be friends with?

989
00:38:38,220 --> 00:38:38,940
No comedian.

990
00:38:38,940 --> 00:38:39,820
You are none?

991
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,940
These people are broke by their core.

992
00:38:41,940 --> 00:38:44,300
Well, yeah, like, we're in the biz.

993
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:46,860
Honestly, honestly, Chris Higgins is broke.

994
00:38:46,860 --> 00:38:48,420
No, yeah, obviously.

995
00:38:48,420 --> 00:38:51,700
What you went to school for is you're not going to make any

996
00:38:51,700 --> 00:38:52,020
money.

997
00:38:52,020 --> 00:38:54,420
So you have to probably go in an oil rig or something like that.

998
00:38:54,420 --> 00:38:55,500
Become a content queen.

999
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,300
But like, where should I go?

1000
00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:58,100
Maybe Alaska.

1001
00:38:58,100 --> 00:39:00,060
They have a lot of oil operations out there.

1002
00:39:00,060 --> 00:39:02,940
Alaska people are all fucking weird looking.

1003
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:04,020
Nothing to do with Alaska.

1004
00:39:04,020 --> 00:39:04,780
They talk like this.

1005
00:39:04,780 --> 00:39:08,260
They're like, they're like, welcome to Alaska.

1006
00:39:08,260 --> 00:39:09,100
Come on.

1007
00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:11,020
Yeah, they all look like evers.

1008
00:39:11,020 --> 00:39:12,780
They're like, welcome to Alaska.

1009
00:39:12,780 --> 00:39:15,100
Smoking the gunjup in Alaska.

1010
00:39:15,100 --> 00:39:15,940
You don't want Alaska money.

1011
00:39:15,940 --> 00:39:18,020
They all look like Stephen Hawes, dude.

1012
00:39:18,020 --> 00:39:18,700
Exactly.

1013
00:39:18,700 --> 00:39:19,420
Bricks me out.

1014
00:39:19,420 --> 00:39:21,540
You don't want that money.

1015
00:39:21,540 --> 00:39:23,580
Throw them out as a state.

1016
00:39:23,580 --> 00:39:24,980
Post as much as possible.

1017
00:39:24,980 --> 00:39:27,060
Then sell coin footage later.

1018
00:39:27,060 --> 00:39:28,100
No, I literally saw it.

1019
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:28,980
And then?

1020
00:39:28,980 --> 00:39:31,060
I saw the Anchorage City Council, their biggest city

1021
00:39:31,060 --> 00:39:32,100
anchorage.

1022
00:39:32,100 --> 00:39:34,260
It was all Stephen Hawes'.

1023
00:39:34,260 --> 00:39:35,980
I was like, what the heck?

1024
00:39:35,980 --> 00:39:39,420
Yeah, no, I just like, I don't want to go to Alaska.

1025
00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:40,740
No, you don't want that.

1026
00:39:40,740 --> 00:39:41,860
I want to die there, though.

1027
00:39:41,860 --> 00:39:43,020
I want to be buried there.

1028
00:39:43,020 --> 00:39:45,900
That's the only thing that's fun to do there is die.

1029
00:39:45,900 --> 00:39:46,660
Yeah.

1030
00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:47,140
One time.

1031
00:39:47,140 --> 00:39:49,340
Be buried up there, biggest state.

1032
00:39:49,340 --> 00:39:51,580
The time I was in downtown Chicago,

1033
00:39:51,580 --> 00:39:55,860
and then someone fell off building and splattered right

1034
00:39:55,860 --> 00:39:56,260
in front of me.

1035
00:39:56,260 --> 00:39:57,860
And I said, what the heck?

1036
00:39:57,860 --> 00:39:58,380
Really?

1037
00:39:58,380 --> 00:39:59,140
I walked away.

1038
00:39:59,140 --> 00:40:00,500
Did they bounce or?

1039
00:40:00,500 --> 00:40:02,220
No, no, they just splattered.

1040
00:40:02,220 --> 00:40:05,180
Kind of like splat clapped in or clapped in some.

1041
00:40:05,180 --> 00:40:06,580
He crawled out of a window.

1042
00:40:06,580 --> 00:40:08,580
That's why they always call them splat clapped in.

1043
00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:09,340
Me and no cookie.

1044
00:40:09,340 --> 00:40:10,700
I was worried about the sugar.

1045
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:13,740
People would say it's going to make me bounce off the walls.

1046
00:40:13,740 --> 00:40:15,260
Wait, is that RK approved?

1047
00:40:15,260 --> 00:40:16,540
Let me see the wrapper.

1048
00:40:16,540 --> 00:40:17,340
It is.

1049
00:40:17,340 --> 00:40:19,420
It's the Lenny and Larry brand.

1050
00:40:19,420 --> 00:40:21,020
It's disgusting.

1051
00:40:21,020 --> 00:40:21,940
Erroneous.

1052
00:40:21,940 --> 00:40:24,180
Well, it says a lot about what's not in here.

1053
00:40:24,180 --> 00:40:26,060
Let's see what's in here.

1054
00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:27,700
16 grams of protein.

1055
00:40:27,700 --> 00:40:29,660
Xanthan gum.

1056
00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:31,340
As for freshness.

1057
00:40:31,340 --> 00:40:32,900
Why won't we have the songboard?

1058
00:40:32,900 --> 00:40:33,660
What the fuck?

1059
00:40:33,660 --> 00:40:37,020
I'm like sunflower lecotin and canola lecotin.

1060
00:40:37,020 --> 00:40:38,020
That's seed oils.

1061
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:39,500
My book to the past.

1062
00:40:39,500 --> 00:40:40,500
Is bad.

1063
00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:41,500
Yeah.

1064
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,500
9 11 9 11.

1065
00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:45,500
No, that's bad.

1066
00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:46,700
That's a beautiful thing.

1067
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:48,420
Thank you.

1068
00:40:48,420 --> 00:40:50,340
I thought he was doing as a bed.

1069
00:40:50,340 --> 00:40:51,180
It's not a bed.

1070
00:40:51,180 --> 00:40:53,060
Oh my god, you got married.

1071
00:40:53,060 --> 00:40:53,940
Yeah.

1072
00:40:53,940 --> 00:40:55,460
What happened?

1073
00:40:55,460 --> 00:40:58,420
Well, she be at divorce and she remarried.

1074
00:40:58,420 --> 00:41:00,740
Oh, you guys are chill.

1075
00:41:00,740 --> 00:41:01,540
My ex-wife.

1076
00:41:01,540 --> 00:41:03,340
Well, my ex-wife's ex-wife is.

1077
00:41:03,340 --> 00:41:04,980
Well, you actually have an ex-wife.

1078
00:41:04,980 --> 00:41:05,620
Yeah.

1079
00:41:05,620 --> 00:41:09,140
Whoa, let's talk about her.

1080
00:41:09,140 --> 00:41:10,140
It's not hooked up.

1081
00:41:10,140 --> 00:41:12,460
Well, we used to hate each other.

1082
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:14,140
Then she got married to a woman.

1083
00:41:14,140 --> 00:41:16,900
I guess I wasn't good enough.

1084
00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:21,620
And then they broke it off.

1085
00:41:21,620 --> 00:41:24,820
And then now it's my ex-wife is always complaining to me

1086
00:41:24,820 --> 00:41:27,300
about my ex-wife's ex-wife.

1087
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:28,820
And her in-laws.

1088
00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:31,180
Yeah, there's way too many in-laws involved.

1089
00:41:31,180 --> 00:41:34,500
And I want out law.

1090
00:41:34,500 --> 00:41:36,540
So that's out of 20, 25s.

1091
00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:37,740
Wait, who is this?

1092
00:41:37,740 --> 00:41:40,580
That's my sister and her husband and me in the middle.

1093
00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:41,580
Oh, OK.

1094
00:41:41,580 --> 00:41:42,900
I'm from the second one.

1095
00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:43,700
OK.

1096
00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:46,260
Max family is so attractive besides him.

1097
00:41:46,260 --> 00:41:47,620
I'm making a lot of friends.

1098
00:41:47,620 --> 00:41:50,460
We're saying, just what happened?

1099
00:41:50,460 --> 00:41:52,820
Well, I'm the funny one.

1100
00:41:52,820 --> 00:41:53,820
So you know, you got to have.

1101
00:41:53,820 --> 00:41:55,020
I only get so many genes.

1102
00:41:55,020 --> 00:41:59,300
Well, so my sister is probably the smartest.

1103
00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:00,980
Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.

1104
00:42:00,980 --> 00:42:02,580
So that's why I took the smartest.

1105
00:42:02,580 --> 00:42:06,140
I'm the funny one, Charlie's the best looking one.

1106
00:42:06,140 --> 00:42:09,260
And then Sam is just as no redeeming qualities.

1107
00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,700
But then your good looking brother is somewhere saying,

1108
00:42:11,700 --> 00:42:13,660
yeah, well, I'm also funny and smart.

1109
00:42:13,660 --> 00:42:15,220
Yeah, but he's not.

1110
00:42:15,220 --> 00:42:17,900
And any funnyness he learned from me.

1111
00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:18,820
Oh, OK.

1112
00:42:18,820 --> 00:42:20,060
I was the oldest boy.

1113
00:42:20,060 --> 00:42:21,980
I was the leader of the boys.

1114
00:42:21,980 --> 00:42:22,980
I'm going to try the A. A. A.

1115
00:42:22,980 --> 00:42:25,180
You had one older sister.

1116
00:42:25,180 --> 00:42:27,220
Then you were the first born boy.

1117
00:42:27,220 --> 00:42:28,300
So I was really the oldest.

1118
00:42:28,300 --> 00:42:33,220
So you really get like the crowd once your father eventually

1119
00:42:33,220 --> 00:42:36,180
perishes or gets murdered.

1120
00:42:36,180 --> 00:42:40,540
Oh, there's thiamine mononitrate in here.

1121
00:42:40,540 --> 00:42:41,980
But they said to complete cookie

1122
00:42:41,980 --> 00:42:44,700
so there's a lot of bad things.

1123
00:42:44,700 --> 00:42:45,860
They have in you.

1124
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:47,820
It was like insulin, but it's in you in.

1125
00:42:47,820 --> 00:42:48,380
In you.

1126
00:42:48,380 --> 00:42:48,780
Yeah.

1127
00:42:48,780 --> 00:42:51,780
So it's like if you're in Alaska, the Inuit diabetes,

1128
00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:55,100
In you in TurboTex, like the Inuits or Eskimos.

1129
00:42:55,100 --> 00:42:55,660
They took us.

1130
00:42:55,660 --> 00:42:59,100
No, anyone who is like from an Inuit tribe or whatever.

1131
00:42:59,100 --> 00:43:00,700
I know a lot of Injins of all kinds,

1132
00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:04,460
but they're all savages.

1133
00:43:04,460 --> 00:43:07,220
I mean, like they're cool as hell, like savage.

1134
00:43:07,220 --> 00:43:11,100
So Inuit is not the best name for a mascot.

1135
00:43:11,100 --> 00:43:12,180
Is that an Inuendo?

1136
00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:15,020
But then from Upper Peninsula, Eskimos,

1137
00:43:15,020 --> 00:43:16,380
I think that's wrong, too.

1138
00:43:16,380 --> 00:43:18,260
Is Inuit an Inuendo?

1139
00:43:18,260 --> 00:43:19,540
This is a mic drop.

1140
00:43:23,660 --> 00:43:24,900
Nice.

1141
00:43:24,900 --> 00:43:27,180
Does that sound like a mic drop?

1142
00:43:27,180 --> 00:43:28,380
That's what happens when they cut off your mic

1143
00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:31,020
when your set's going so bad.

1144
00:43:31,020 --> 00:43:33,140
Dude, I love, yeah.

1145
00:43:33,140 --> 00:43:34,820
I can't wait to do my setup beauty bar.

1146
00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:36,500
Have you ever got a standing ovation?

1147
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:37,820
How many minutes?

1148
00:43:37,820 --> 00:43:38,540
Have you?

1149
00:43:38,540 --> 00:43:41,020
All the time.

1150
00:43:41,020 --> 00:43:42,860
No, I never got a standing ovation.

1151
00:43:42,860 --> 00:43:43,940
Oh, yikes.

1152
00:43:43,940 --> 00:43:45,820
No, I got like a yeah.

1153
00:43:45,820 --> 00:43:46,860
Yeah, woo!

1154
00:43:46,860 --> 00:43:48,700
But never like a standing ovation.

1155
00:43:48,700 --> 00:43:49,860
Yeah.

1156
00:43:49,860 --> 00:43:52,940
Yeah, I get mostly standing ovations.

1157
00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:53,820
Really?

1158
00:43:53,820 --> 00:43:56,460
I want to go to Lincoln last night and give people a hard time.

1159
00:43:56,460 --> 00:43:57,260
Yeah, that's much better.

1160
00:43:57,260 --> 00:43:59,420
Yeah, I kind of want to give like Ted talks over there

1161
00:43:59,420 --> 00:44:00,700
and like talk about what's going on.

1162
00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:02,300
No, I just want to talk shit to people.

1163
00:44:02,300 --> 00:44:03,740
Give people a hard time.

1164
00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:05,340
Oh, but like not be on stage.

1165
00:44:05,340 --> 00:44:07,100
No, just kind of like hang out at a table.

1166
00:44:07,100 --> 00:44:09,740
People will come through and we'll just talk shit.

1167
00:44:09,740 --> 00:44:12,020
Yeah, and they'll be like, oh, shit, that's Mac Nipper.

1168
00:44:12,020 --> 00:44:13,700
He talks shit about me on his podcast.

1169
00:44:13,700 --> 00:44:14,420
I have a boy dog.

1170
00:44:14,420 --> 00:44:16,700
I'm more internet famous than I am.

1171
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:19,860
Oh, actually, I mean, I defended you to Jessica

1172
00:44:19,860 --> 00:44:23,740
because she was saying Mac, he just took it from them.

1173
00:44:23,740 --> 00:44:28,260
See, do what he was saying that he just sat there and took it

1174
00:44:28,260 --> 00:44:29,060
from MC.

1175
00:44:29,060 --> 00:44:29,980
That's bullshit.

1176
00:44:29,980 --> 00:44:31,580
I was saying who's on the sea.

1177
00:44:31,580 --> 00:44:33,940
Love this clown.

1178
00:44:33,940 --> 00:44:37,380
Oh, anyone that was right there knows that that was not

1179
00:44:37,380 --> 00:44:38,380
the case.

1180
00:44:38,380 --> 00:44:39,940
He likes you, DJ Darksea.

1181
00:44:39,940 --> 00:44:43,460
But then I was just saying Mac loved the Lincoln Lodge.

1182
00:44:43,460 --> 00:44:45,740
I didn't want to cause a scene as a patron.

1183
00:44:45,740 --> 00:44:47,300
Yeah, I mean, John was there.

1184
00:44:47,300 --> 00:44:52,540
And I mean, also, aside from me just telling MC lightsy,

1185
00:44:52,540 --> 00:44:54,180
it was a fucking pun.

1186
00:44:54,180 --> 00:44:55,420
He returned.

1187
00:44:55,420 --> 00:44:57,500
And then also I had Courtney and Robon and Emily

1188
00:44:57,500 --> 00:44:58,620
screaming at him too.

1189
00:44:58,620 --> 00:45:02,020
Yeah, and I was also like, I was like, I'm not going to.

1190
00:45:02,020 --> 00:45:03,900
Well, I also I'm not the one who said Blair Pork Chop.

1191
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:04,860
It was Jason too.

1192
00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:08,060
So I wasn't going to fucking Blair Pork Chop.

1193
00:45:08,060 --> 00:45:10,780
If you're a very skinny woman, would you take offense to Pork

1194
00:45:10,780 --> 00:45:11,900
Chop?

1195
00:45:11,900 --> 00:45:14,500
Also, her last name is Pork Chow.

1196
00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:15,500
Sounds just like Pork Chow.

1197
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:16,260
So she grew up.

1198
00:45:16,260 --> 00:45:17,260
Wait, what's your last name?

1199
00:45:17,260 --> 00:45:18,420
Pork Chow.

1200
00:45:18,420 --> 00:45:19,220
Pork Chow?

1201
00:45:19,220 --> 00:45:21,660
And she thought it was bad to call her Pork Chow.

1202
00:45:21,660 --> 00:45:24,580
And Jason said she's a piece of meat.

1203
00:45:24,580 --> 00:45:25,860
Obviously, just a pun.

1204
00:45:25,860 --> 00:45:26,340
It's all of it.

1205
00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:27,740
It's a pun and then a pun off a pun.

1206
00:45:27,740 --> 00:45:31,380
But if she was really thick, that would have been fucked.

1207
00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:32,860
So he said Blair Pork Chop.

1208
00:45:32,860 --> 00:45:35,380
And I said, she was pretty medium well on stage.

1209
00:45:35,380 --> 00:45:36,100
Well, what's worse?

1210
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:38,380
Because if you call them a piece of meat, it's good.

1211
00:45:38,380 --> 00:45:41,380
That's all I said was a compliment.

1212
00:45:41,380 --> 00:45:43,620
And then they came at me over Jason's shit.

1213
00:45:43,620 --> 00:45:44,140
I got it.

1214
00:45:44,140 --> 00:45:46,180
It's more offensive if it's like she's skinnier,

1215
00:45:46,180 --> 00:45:48,140
she's thick, because thick means she's a.

1216
00:45:48,140 --> 00:45:50,380
If she was fatter than it would have been.

1217
00:45:50,380 --> 00:45:52,420
But a piece of meat means they're objectifying.

1218
00:45:52,420 --> 00:45:55,100
Say how much you think she weighs on poverty.

1219
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:55,780
A real piece of meat.

1220
00:45:55,780 --> 00:45:57,180
She's probably won.

1221
00:45:57,180 --> 00:45:58,300
She's not good looking.

1222
00:45:58,300 --> 00:45:59,140
Some people think she.

1223
00:45:59,140 --> 00:45:59,620
All right.

1224
00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:01,180
I don't know what she looks like.

1225
00:46:01,180 --> 00:46:03,740
She was kind of like a witch sorceress type of thing.

1226
00:46:03,740 --> 00:46:04,340
All right.

1227
00:46:04,340 --> 00:46:05,460
Satanic, maybe.

1228
00:46:05,460 --> 00:46:08,900
Call all the white males white dicks.

1229
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:11,260
Right before I went up on stage.

1230
00:46:11,260 --> 00:46:11,740
That's nice.

1231
00:46:11,740 --> 00:46:14,020
And I just thought, I feel sexualized.

1232
00:46:14,020 --> 00:46:14,500
Yeah.

1233
00:46:14,500 --> 00:46:16,660
Why do people hate white men so much?

1234
00:46:16,660 --> 00:46:17,260
I didn't.

1235
00:46:17,260 --> 00:46:17,940
Because.

1236
00:46:17,940 --> 00:46:19,980
I didn't do slavery.

1237
00:46:19,980 --> 00:46:21,980
I was not around.

1238
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:24,460
Nothing he wouldn't.

1239
00:46:24,460 --> 00:46:27,460
Were you?

1240
00:46:27,460 --> 00:46:28,860
When did your family?

1241
00:46:28,860 --> 00:46:30,060
When did your family come over?

1242
00:46:30,060 --> 00:46:31,060
I'm sorry to be worried.

1243
00:46:31,060 --> 00:46:32,780
You might have.

1244
00:46:32,780 --> 00:46:34,860
When did your family come over?

1245
00:46:34,860 --> 00:46:37,860
I just like literally during the 70s.

1246
00:46:37,860 --> 00:46:38,460
OK.

1247
00:46:38,460 --> 00:46:38,940
Yeah.

1248
00:46:38,940 --> 00:46:40,820
So you're like third generation?

1249
00:46:40,820 --> 00:46:41,620
Yeah.

1250
00:46:41,620 --> 00:46:44,020
I didn't get to do that.

1251
00:46:44,020 --> 00:46:45,140
Flavory stuff.

1252
00:46:45,140 --> 00:46:46,140
Sorry.

1253
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:47,620
I mean, I'm sorry for that.

1254
00:46:47,620 --> 00:46:49,740
My family came after that too.

1255
00:46:49,740 --> 00:46:50,540
So.

1256
00:46:50,540 --> 00:46:51,340
Good.

1257
00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:56,060
So I'm not going to apologize on behalf of other white people.

1258
00:46:56,060 --> 00:47:00,780
They can apologize that they did it, but I'm not them.

1259
00:47:00,780 --> 00:47:01,780
So.

1260
00:47:01,780 --> 00:47:03,100
They're buying the fun of the gentleman.

1261
00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:03,980
Yeah.

1262
00:47:03,980 --> 00:47:06,300
So what's your latest set that you put in?

1263
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:07,940
I think it was mostly.

1264
00:47:07,940 --> 00:47:10,180
I blame it on the Protestant white people.

1265
00:47:10,180 --> 00:47:12,060
Because they were the first ones here.

1266
00:47:12,060 --> 00:47:13,460
They were the ones doing the slavery.

1267
00:47:13,460 --> 00:47:15,140
And then the Catholics came in after that

1268
00:47:15,140 --> 00:47:16,060
or during the Civil War.

1269
00:47:16,060 --> 00:47:17,260
Look.

1270
00:47:17,260 --> 00:47:18,460
So we're good.

1271
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,100
You're going to battle some.

1272
00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:22,060
You and I were scot-free, just so you know.

1273
00:47:22,060 --> 00:47:22,740
Quaint shortage.

1274
00:47:22,740 --> 00:47:23,500
OK.

1275
00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:25,140
My friends know that.

1276
00:47:25,140 --> 00:47:26,180
Are they Catholic?

1277
00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:26,540
No.

1278
00:47:26,540 --> 00:47:28,420
They're just like.

1279
00:47:28,420 --> 00:47:28,900
Is there family?

1280
00:47:28,900 --> 00:47:30,500
They're just like a college pamphlet.

1281
00:47:30,500 --> 00:47:33,060
Is there a Catholic or Protestant?

1282
00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:33,580
They're whatever.

1283
00:47:33,580 --> 00:47:36,420
Catholic, but I am not Catholic.

1284
00:47:36,420 --> 00:47:37,340
I'm saying you're friends.

1285
00:47:37,340 --> 00:47:39,500
If they're Protestant, their family is priestly of owners.

1286
00:47:39,500 --> 00:47:41,780
They're not Protestant.

1287
00:47:41,780 --> 00:47:44,780
I think like 20% of my friends are Protestant maybe.

1288
00:47:44,780 --> 00:47:45,380
Also.

1289
00:47:45,380 --> 00:47:46,060
And they also.

1290
00:47:46,060 --> 00:47:48,300
All black people are Protestant too.

1291
00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:49,540
They're Baptist mostly.

1292
00:47:49,540 --> 00:47:50,220
A lot of protest.

1293
00:47:50,220 --> 00:47:51,340
Good to know.

1294
00:47:51,340 --> 00:47:51,940
Yeah.

1295
00:47:51,940 --> 00:47:52,500
Yeah.

1296
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:54,420
I'll let my two black friends know.

1297
00:47:54,420 --> 00:47:54,920
No.

1298
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:55,700
They're Protestant.

1299
00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:57,700
Oh, she has multiple.

1300
00:47:57,700 --> 00:47:58,380
Yeah.

1301
00:47:58,380 --> 00:47:59,940
I have way more black friends than you do.

1302
00:47:59,940 --> 00:48:00,460
Really?

1303
00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:01,100
I was.

1304
00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:01,460
Oh my god.

1305
00:48:01,460 --> 00:48:02,700
Name all of them right now.

1306
00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:04,180
OK.

1307
00:48:04,180 --> 00:48:08,900
Scotty Scott, Rocky Clark, Jay Johnson, Randall Massey,

1308
00:48:08,900 --> 00:48:10,220
Dontrell Nighton.

1309
00:48:10,220 --> 00:48:11,540
Shout out to them.

1310
00:48:11,540 --> 00:48:12,180
Let's see.

1311
00:48:12,180 --> 00:48:12,700
We got.

1312
00:48:12,700 --> 00:48:14,060
See, Mac Nippers not racist.

1313
00:48:14,060 --> 00:48:15,180
Johnny Staphney.

1314
00:48:15,180 --> 00:48:16,660
We love that.

1315
00:48:16,660 --> 00:48:17,620
Josh Daphney.

1316
00:48:17,620 --> 00:48:18,500
Yes.

1317
00:48:18,500 --> 00:48:20,100
I don't know any of these people.

1318
00:48:20,100 --> 00:48:20,940
Yeah.

1319
00:48:20,940 --> 00:48:21,700
So I did.

1320
00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:23,380
Cool ones that we've heard of before.

1321
00:48:23,380 --> 00:48:24,540
Ty Riggs.

1322
00:48:24,540 --> 00:48:26,060
Have you ever been on Cold Ones?

1323
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:26,740
I can't say.

1324
00:48:26,740 --> 00:48:28,900
I can't say like Erickson, Dockery, or Kyron,

1325
00:48:28,900 --> 00:48:30,420
or Harrow, because that doesn't count.

1326
00:48:30,420 --> 00:48:32,580
I guess combined, they're one.

1327
00:48:32,580 --> 00:48:33,340
For the sake of the.

1328
00:48:33,340 --> 00:48:35,540
So Erickson, Harrow.

1329
00:48:35,540 --> 00:48:38,540
OK.

1330
00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:39,620
Dockery, Kyron.

1331
00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:40,180
I'll be honest.

1332
00:48:40,180 --> 00:48:42,180
I think a lot of these black comics

1333
00:48:42,180 --> 00:48:43,700
don't accept me as one of their own.

1334
00:48:43,700 --> 00:48:44,900
And I'm just like.

1335
00:48:44,900 --> 00:48:45,500
Oh.

1336
00:48:45,500 --> 00:48:46,180
I just feel.

1337
00:48:46,180 --> 00:48:47,940
You know, it's like I don't try to.

1338
00:48:47,940 --> 00:48:48,580
OK.

1339
00:48:48,580 --> 00:48:49,940
I'm black on the inside.

1340
00:48:49,940 --> 00:48:52,020
It's like, you know how you can get those coats?

1341
00:48:52,020 --> 00:48:52,980
Where you can flip it.

1342
00:48:52,980 --> 00:48:54,340
And it's like fleece on the inside.

1343
00:48:54,340 --> 00:48:55,660
You're black on the inside when you're lucky.

1344
00:48:55,660 --> 00:48:56,900
That's what Dylan has.

1345
00:48:56,900 --> 00:48:57,420
Yeah.

1346
00:48:57,420 --> 00:49:02,500
If you flip to my skin inside out, I'd be a black man.

1347
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:03,900
But I was born with a disease.

1348
00:49:03,900 --> 00:49:05,300
Or is it the opposite?

1349
00:49:05,300 --> 00:49:06,300
Or are they annoying?

1350
00:49:06,300 --> 00:49:07,660
Normally it's white.

1351
00:49:07,660 --> 00:49:09,780
Normally it's white on the inside of the skin.

1352
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:10,340
OK.

1353
00:49:10,340 --> 00:49:11,300
Cool, cool.

1354
00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:11,980
I had John this.

1355
00:49:11,980 --> 00:49:13,140
Mac's black on the inside.

1356
00:49:13,140 --> 00:49:13,660
Yeah.

1357
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:14,420
On a good Saturday night.

1358
00:49:14,420 --> 00:49:16,940
I had Simpson's eyes, we know.

1359
00:49:16,940 --> 00:49:19,420
Simpson's eyes, Simpson's eyes, Simpson's eyes.

1360
00:49:19,420 --> 00:49:20,260
John this job.

1361
00:49:20,260 --> 00:49:21,100
I don't know what to say.

1362
00:49:21,100 --> 00:49:22,300
John this job.

1363
00:49:22,300 --> 00:49:24,300
Jander and Bambin.

1364
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:24,900
I've been there.

1365
00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:28,260
No, no, no, they're black people in the Simpsons.

1366
00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:29,420
Brack.

1367
00:49:29,420 --> 00:49:31,340
I'm Brack.

1368
00:49:31,340 --> 00:49:34,940
Do you guys default to crowd work a lot?

1369
00:49:34,940 --> 00:49:35,460
No.

1370
00:49:35,460 --> 00:49:36,180
Never done crowd work.

1371
00:49:36,180 --> 00:49:36,660
Never?

1372
00:49:36,660 --> 00:49:39,700
I only, only a time I did a comedy bar and I said,

1373
00:49:39,700 --> 00:49:42,220
this guy, like, are you guys married?

1374
00:49:42,220 --> 00:49:44,420
And he was a guy who was fighting with his girlfriend

1375
00:49:44,420 --> 00:49:46,260
who was in over there.

1376
00:49:46,260 --> 00:49:48,660
And I'm like, that's why I don't.

1377
00:49:48,660 --> 00:49:51,100
I don't want to piss people off and ruin their love.

1378
00:49:51,100 --> 00:49:52,300
OK, I'm going to do crowd work.

1379
00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:54,700
I don't do crowd work, but since we don't.

1380
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:58,100
If somebody says something or like something.

1381
00:49:58,100 --> 00:49:59,140
Don't write that down.

1382
00:49:59,140 --> 00:50:02,500
You're going to become a, you don't want to be like that.

1383
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:04,060
Alex, don't be a hack.

1384
00:50:04,060 --> 00:50:04,900
No, I'm not.

1385
00:50:04,900 --> 00:50:05,980
Well, I kind of have to be.

1386
00:50:05,980 --> 00:50:07,780
No, no, right down off the cuff.

1387
00:50:07,780 --> 00:50:08,620
Crowd work.

1388
00:50:08,620 --> 00:50:09,620
Off the cuff crowd work.

1389
00:50:09,620 --> 00:50:11,500
It's like someone out here says something.

1390
00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:13,940
The Alex, you don't want to be like that.

1391
00:50:13,940 --> 00:50:14,860
No, no, off the cuff.

1392
00:50:14,860 --> 00:50:17,020
It was someone in the audience is like, yeah.

1393
00:50:17,020 --> 00:50:18,860
Yeah, I'm trying to get some good fucking clips

1394
00:50:18,860 --> 00:50:19,580
on Instagram.

1395
00:50:19,580 --> 00:50:20,580
No, you're not.

1396
00:50:20,580 --> 00:50:24,860
You got this huge opportunity by having your own cool clips.

1397
00:50:24,860 --> 00:50:26,220
Cool clips.

1398
00:50:26,220 --> 00:50:26,980
Yeah.

1399
00:50:26,980 --> 00:50:28,500
Huge opportunity.

1400
00:50:28,500 --> 00:50:29,980
It's a different answer.

1401
00:50:29,980 --> 00:50:31,740
OK, but like, you know why the.

1402
00:50:31,740 --> 00:50:33,580
You don't want to be like them.

1403
00:50:33,580 --> 00:50:34,700
You know why the.

1404
00:50:34,700 --> 00:50:36,700
I'm definitely going to talk about the assassination.

1405
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:37,060
Hold on.

1406
00:50:37,060 --> 00:50:38,020
I want to talk about something.

1407
00:50:38,020 --> 00:50:39,300
Is that this or what are you talking about?

1408
00:50:39,300 --> 00:50:39,820
You guys know.

1409
00:50:39,820 --> 00:50:41,460
You guys know where the.

1410
00:50:41,460 --> 00:50:44,420
The gang, the Crips are called the Crips.

1411
00:50:44,420 --> 00:50:45,020
Why?

1412
00:50:45,020 --> 00:50:46,940
Well, they're Asian and they were called the Crips,

1413
00:50:46,940 --> 00:50:50,020
but they were they were pronounced the Crips.

1414
00:50:50,020 --> 00:50:51,460
OK, I'm not stealing that one.

1415
00:50:51,460 --> 00:50:53,820
But they're better at technology.

1416
00:50:53,820 --> 00:50:56,100
And they stole our technology.

1417
00:50:56,100 --> 00:50:58,180
They're always doing our technology.

1418
00:50:58,180 --> 00:51:00,660
Kamala Harris led in like a billion people.

1419
00:51:00,660 --> 00:51:01,380
And she is.

1420
00:51:01,380 --> 00:51:03,020
All right.

1421
00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:04,140
She's she's Asian.

1422
00:51:04,140 --> 00:51:05,500
So I have this joke.

1423
00:51:05,500 --> 00:51:06,220
It's really bad.

1424
00:51:06,220 --> 00:51:08,220
It's like so.

1425
00:51:08,220 --> 00:51:08,820
I can't.

1426
00:51:08,820 --> 00:51:09,340
Are you sure?

1427
00:51:09,340 --> 00:51:10,540
It's really do you want to tell it?

1428
00:51:10,540 --> 00:51:11,460
If it's really bad.

1429
00:51:11,460 --> 00:51:13,580
Yeah, because I want to workshop it.

1430
00:51:13,580 --> 00:51:15,260
Because you guys are comedians.

1431
00:51:15,260 --> 00:51:16,340
OK, well, thank you.

1432
00:51:16,340 --> 00:51:16,820
Yeah.

1433
00:51:16,820 --> 00:51:17,900
A lot of people stop being honest.

1434
00:51:17,900 --> 00:51:18,940
You just kind of call yourself that.

1435
00:51:18,940 --> 00:51:20,420
So it's what the heck.

1436
00:51:20,420 --> 00:51:21,140
Yeah, but it's OK.

1437
00:51:21,140 --> 00:51:22,380
It's called bad comedy.

1438
00:51:22,380 --> 00:51:25,300
So I can I feel like I could say some bad comedy on here.

1439
00:51:25,300 --> 00:51:25,700
Right.

1440
00:51:25,700 --> 00:51:27,020
It is the name of the podcast.

1441
00:51:27,020 --> 00:51:27,860
Yeah, I forgot.

1442
00:51:27,860 --> 00:51:28,740
Yeah, go ahead.

1443
00:51:28,740 --> 00:51:32,500
Anyways, so I've been looking at a lot

1444
00:51:32,500 --> 00:51:34,100
of motivational pictures.

1445
00:51:34,100 --> 00:51:36,420
I would read, but I can't read because I am.

1446
00:51:36,420 --> 00:51:39,540
Yeah, because I am a woman.

1447
00:51:39,540 --> 00:51:40,980
So I can't drive.

1448
00:51:40,980 --> 00:51:41,300
You used that.

1449
00:51:41,300 --> 00:51:42,900
Yeah, and I can't drive.

1450
00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:45,380
But I'm learning how to make a sandwich.

1451
00:51:45,380 --> 00:51:47,340
So stick with me now.

1452
00:51:47,340 --> 00:51:49,020
Listen to me.

1453
00:51:49,020 --> 00:51:51,220
Yeah, so anyways.

1454
00:51:51,220 --> 00:51:52,980
So I've been looking at.

1455
00:51:52,980 --> 00:51:53,700
Not a tag.

1456
00:51:53,700 --> 00:51:54,620
You're cutting me off.

1457
00:51:54,620 --> 00:51:55,100
What?

1458
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:59,140
No, no, like I'm looking for some drive, some motivation.

1459
00:51:59,140 --> 00:52:00,100
But I can't drive.

1460
00:52:00,100 --> 00:52:01,260
Because I'm a woman.

1461
00:52:01,260 --> 00:52:02,340
I was like the first thing.

1462
00:52:02,340 --> 00:52:03,340
Oh, that's OK.

1463
00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:03,860
I'm going to add that.

1464
00:52:03,860 --> 00:52:04,460
It's actually a good tag.

1465
00:52:04,460 --> 00:52:05,700
Yeah, yeah, drive for motivation.

1466
00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:06,540
I'm tagged in a tarot.

1467
00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,540
No, you cut her off earlier with the cut off.

1468
00:52:08,540 --> 00:52:09,540
No, I mean.

1469
00:52:09,540 --> 00:52:10,420
Yeah, that's really misogynistic.

1470
00:52:10,420 --> 00:52:11,620
I would have forgotten about it.

1471
00:52:11,620 --> 00:52:12,660
Yeah, I was mansplaining.

1472
00:52:12,660 --> 00:52:14,020
But that's how I explain things.

1473
00:52:14,020 --> 00:52:14,500
That's OK.

1474
00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:14,980
That's OK.

1475
00:52:14,980 --> 00:52:15,380
That's OK.

1476
00:52:15,380 --> 00:52:16,300
I was asking for it.

1477
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:17,300
I was asking for it.

1478
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:18,020
Just a little man.

1479
00:52:18,020 --> 00:52:19,740
I will join the 4B movement in a sec.

1480
00:52:19,740 --> 00:52:22,380
But give me a sec.

1481
00:52:22,380 --> 00:52:23,260
5G movement.

1482
00:52:23,260 --> 00:52:24,620
Give me a little cancer.

1483
00:52:24,620 --> 00:52:25,500
OK.

1484
00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:28,020
So I've been looking at a lot of motivational posters.

1485
00:52:28,020 --> 00:52:30,300
And this one that really sticks with me

1486
00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:33,540
is like a cat hanging off of a branch that says,

1487
00:52:33,540 --> 00:52:35,500
well, someone told me this because I can't read.

1488
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:37,420
It says, hang in there.

1489
00:52:37,420 --> 00:52:39,620
And I'm like, yeah, I'll hang there for a sec.

1490
00:52:39,620 --> 00:52:41,140
But I don't know what to use.

1491
00:52:41,140 --> 00:52:42,780
Like, should I use a rope?

1492
00:52:42,780 --> 00:52:43,620
Or?

1493
00:52:43,620 --> 00:52:44,620
Nice.

1494
00:52:44,620 --> 00:52:45,740
Is that bad?

1495
00:52:45,740 --> 00:52:46,340
Yeah.

1496
00:52:46,340 --> 00:52:47,140
That's bad.

1497
00:52:47,140 --> 00:52:47,780
All right, so it's fine.

1498
00:52:47,780 --> 00:52:49,620
But you could do something with the beginning of it.

1499
00:52:49,620 --> 00:52:52,060
It makes me think of lynching.

1500
00:52:52,060 --> 00:52:53,620
I don't know if that's a good bad thing.

1501
00:52:53,620 --> 00:52:54,860
All right, no, that's a bad thing.

1502
00:52:54,860 --> 00:52:55,820
That's not.

1503
00:52:55,820 --> 00:52:58,420
See, I knew it was bad because when I said it, I was like,

1504
00:52:58,420 --> 00:53:00,380
I was just thinking what Dylan was thinking

1505
00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:02,260
where it was just like, nice.

1506
00:53:02,260 --> 00:53:03,580
Like, I wasn't laughing.

1507
00:53:03,580 --> 00:53:06,540
I was just like, oh, it connects, but it's not funny.

1508
00:53:06,540 --> 00:53:08,340
Well, I was I was deeply listening,

1509
00:53:08,340 --> 00:53:10,900
which is why I had this tag.

1510
00:53:10,900 --> 00:53:14,980
So it's one thing Dylan doesn't understand about me.

1511
00:53:14,980 --> 00:53:15,780
I deeply listen.

1512
00:53:15,780 --> 00:53:16,620
I don't.

1513
00:53:16,620 --> 00:53:19,820
Like, I'm trying to think of like other motivational posters,

1514
00:53:19,820 --> 00:53:22,660
like, you know, like fucking, using bolt,

1515
00:53:22,660 --> 00:53:26,020
like running and like a quote that says like,

1516
00:53:26,020 --> 00:53:27,180
like keep climbing.

1517
00:53:27,180 --> 00:53:29,020
Is that his real last name, by the way?

1518
00:53:29,020 --> 00:53:30,860
And then you're going to play Dom May's stuff.

1519
00:53:30,860 --> 00:53:32,060
Because he bolts, you know?

1520
00:53:32,060 --> 00:53:33,100
Like he's.

1521
00:53:33,100 --> 00:53:35,260
Yeah, it'd be like if my name was like.

1522
00:53:35,260 --> 00:53:36,460
Lightning bolt.

1523
00:53:36,460 --> 00:53:39,700
It'd be like my name was like Alexandra really bad at fucking

1524
00:53:39,700 --> 00:53:40,620
stand-up comedy.

1525
00:53:40,620 --> 00:53:43,860
Yeah, it'd be like if my name was Mac, like the one of the best

1526
00:53:43,860 --> 00:53:45,180
stand-up comics in the world.

1527
00:53:45,180 --> 00:53:45,740
Right.

1528
00:53:45,740 --> 00:53:47,620
Like, yeah.

1529
00:53:47,620 --> 00:53:50,020
What is the city's that?

1530
00:53:50,020 --> 00:53:51,820
Yeah, I think it's Irish.

1531
00:53:51,820 --> 00:53:53,260
Yeah, sounds Irish.

1532
00:53:53,260 --> 00:53:54,380
Irish.

1533
00:53:54,380 --> 00:53:57,140
I'm Irish.

1534
00:53:57,140 --> 00:53:57,940
Oh, man.

1535
00:53:57,940 --> 00:53:59,940
I'm Irish.

1536
00:53:59,940 --> 00:54:02,260
I feel like if I made that joke at the Island, you're killed.

1537
00:54:02,260 --> 00:54:04,180
But I don't know.

1538
00:54:04,180 --> 00:54:05,860
I'm Joe Kilgallen.

1539
00:54:05,860 --> 00:54:07,940
Welcome to CYSK.

1540
00:54:07,940 --> 00:54:09,340
Yeah, maybe I should just make.

1541
00:54:09,340 --> 00:54:12,740
This is my friend, Jonah Jerkins in the corner eating soup.

1542
00:54:12,740 --> 00:54:14,740
No, just.

1543
00:54:14,740 --> 00:54:15,740
Yeah.

1544
00:54:15,740 --> 00:54:19,500
I'll just keep talking about how I'm a really good comedian.

1545
00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:21,260
With limitations.

1546
00:54:21,260 --> 00:54:22,020
What?

1547
00:54:22,020 --> 00:54:23,380
Like what?

1548
00:54:23,380 --> 00:54:24,140
Impressions.

1549
00:54:24,140 --> 00:54:25,980
And what impression?

1550
00:54:25,980 --> 00:54:28,260
You always say, Jonah, talk about Obama.

1551
00:54:28,260 --> 00:54:29,820
Definitely do your Trump impression.

1552
00:54:29,820 --> 00:54:30,820
Trump impression.

1553
00:54:30,820 --> 00:54:31,220
I'm kidding.

1554
00:54:31,220 --> 00:54:32,340
No, don't write that down.

1555
00:54:32,340 --> 00:54:34,740
It's really bad.

1556
00:54:34,740 --> 00:54:36,300
We all live in this system.

1557
00:54:36,300 --> 00:54:37,300
OK.

1558
00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:38,700
What the fuck does he say?

1559
00:54:38,700 --> 00:54:39,980
A million dollars.

1560
00:54:39,980 --> 00:54:40,980
You gave me a smell.

1561
00:54:40,980 --> 00:54:43,340
Dylan, help her out.

1562
00:54:43,340 --> 00:54:44,740
A million dollars.

1563
00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:46,220
Ben and Trump can't talk to me.

1564
00:54:46,220 --> 00:54:49,420
He keeps closing himself up in the bathroom for 20 minutes.

1565
00:54:49,420 --> 00:54:50,740
And I'm keep knocking on the door.

1566
00:54:50,740 --> 00:54:51,820
He doesn't respond.

1567
00:54:51,820 --> 00:54:53,460
He's a dead fuck off.

1568
00:54:53,460 --> 00:54:57,540
I'm like, I'm like, Ben, I know you're exploding your body.

1569
00:54:57,540 --> 00:54:58,100
It's OK.

1570
00:54:58,100 --> 00:54:59,380
We have to talk about it.

1571
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:00,260
You have the cadence.

1572
00:55:00,260 --> 00:55:00,660
Yes.

1573
00:55:00,660 --> 00:55:01,900
But you don't have the voice.

1574
00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:02,460
No, I'm not.

1575
00:55:02,460 --> 00:55:03,460
Yeah, I'm tired.

1576
00:55:03,460 --> 00:55:05,580
You've got to take some testosterone.

1577
00:55:05,580 --> 00:55:07,540
You've got to become a man.

1578
00:55:07,540 --> 00:55:11,500
I just got to close my fucking throat closer to my neck.

1579
00:55:11,500 --> 00:55:12,900
I'm thinking about cutting my tits off,

1580
00:55:12,900 --> 00:55:16,460
getting buzz cut, what do you think?

1581
00:55:16,460 --> 00:55:19,660
Well, you already have that.

1582
00:55:19,660 --> 00:55:20,860
You're already skin-headed.

1583
00:55:20,860 --> 00:55:21,620
Is that what you want?

1584
00:55:21,620 --> 00:55:22,220
What the heck?

1585
00:55:22,220 --> 00:55:22,740
Skin-headed.

1586
00:55:22,740 --> 00:55:23,780
I'm a rat tail.

1587
00:55:23,780 --> 00:55:25,420
I'm non-binary.

1588
00:55:25,420 --> 00:55:29,180
My non-binary name is Patreon.

1589
00:55:29,180 --> 00:55:32,140
Patreon.com slash bad comedy folks for the good episodes.

1590
00:55:32,140 --> 00:55:34,340
I'll just say the Benjamin Wepin lethal button

1591
00:55:34,340 --> 00:55:36,020
I was very passionate about.

1592
00:55:36,020 --> 00:55:38,940
Yeah, no, but that was a good, yeah, some bring up movies.

1593
00:55:38,940 --> 00:55:39,420
Just whatever you're passionate about.

1594
00:55:39,420 --> 00:55:41,700
I want to bring up the Polar Express for some reason.

1595
00:55:41,700 --> 00:55:42,380
It's like eating me alive.

1596
00:55:42,380 --> 00:55:45,740
The person, yeah, whatever you don't like about Tom Hanks.

1597
00:55:45,740 --> 00:55:47,860
There should be like a Thanksgiving Express

1598
00:55:47,860 --> 00:55:49,620
with like a bunch of Native American.

1599
00:55:49,620 --> 00:55:51,580
Bipolar Express.

1600
00:55:51,580 --> 00:55:53,220
Bipolar Express.

1601
00:55:53,220 --> 00:55:54,220
Yeah.

1602
00:55:54,220 --> 00:55:57,100
Yeah, there should be like Easter Express where just like

1603
00:55:57,100 --> 00:55:59,660
a bunch of dead Jesuses everywhere.

1604
00:55:59,660 --> 00:56:01,500
But it's got to be like a.

1605
00:56:01,500 --> 00:56:03,700
Can you do a Tom Hanks voice where you're doing

1606
00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:06,860
Easter Express instead or Thanksgiving?

1607
00:56:06,860 --> 00:56:09,340
Hot, hot, hot chocolate.

1608
00:56:09,340 --> 00:56:11,660
Oh, I used to have a lot of dentist jokes.

1609
00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:12,700
I used to have a lot of good dentists.

1610
00:56:12,700 --> 00:56:13,180
What about?

1611
00:56:13,180 --> 00:56:14,100
Oh, dentist jokes.

1612
00:56:14,100 --> 00:56:15,100
Yeah.

1613
00:56:15,100 --> 00:56:18,620
The Moller Express.

1614
00:56:18,620 --> 00:56:22,140
It's where they remove a bad molar really fast.

1615
00:56:22,140 --> 00:56:24,220
Yeah.

1616
00:56:24,220 --> 00:56:25,580
What would be like?

1617
00:56:25,580 --> 00:56:27,500
You've been chewing too.

1618
00:56:27,500 --> 00:56:28,580
Instant.

1619
00:56:28,580 --> 00:56:30,460
Instant.

1620
00:56:30,460 --> 00:56:31,660
Rook now.

1621
00:56:31,660 --> 00:56:33,420
Yeah.

1622
00:56:33,420 --> 00:56:35,300
Hey, hey.

1623
00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:37,580
I want to talk about Britas for some reason.

1624
00:56:37,580 --> 00:56:39,780
Britas like I have two Britas in my fridge.

1625
00:56:39,780 --> 00:56:40,140
Yeah.

1626
00:56:40,140 --> 00:56:42,860
There's something about Britas that just screams standup comedy.

1627
00:56:42,860 --> 00:56:44,540
Yeah.

1628
00:56:44,540 --> 00:56:46,380
Brit, you know, you know, Britas.

1629
00:56:46,380 --> 00:56:48,300
Brittany Spears.

1630
00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:48,900
No.

1631
00:56:48,900 --> 00:56:49,660
Fucking Brit.

1632
00:56:49,660 --> 00:56:51,780
I mean, I love Brittany Spears.

1633
00:56:51,780 --> 00:56:53,900
Remember when she was, she got enslaved?

1634
00:56:53,900 --> 00:56:54,540
How about Britain?

1635
00:56:54,540 --> 00:56:55,100
Yeah.

1636
00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:58,020
Like her dad literally just fucking fed her lithium.

1637
00:56:58,020 --> 00:56:59,980
And then she was like, wait, people don't do this.

1638
00:56:59,980 --> 00:57:00,700
Yeah.

1639
00:57:00,700 --> 00:57:03,860
She was like, she thought she was Kurt Cobain.

1640
00:57:03,860 --> 00:57:04,340
Yeah.

1641
00:57:04,340 --> 00:57:06,900
People don't live in like a castle and like, you know,

1642
00:57:06,900 --> 00:57:09,060
give birth to like three kids and then don't see them.

1643
00:57:09,060 --> 00:57:12,780
She was like, Polly wants a cracker.

1644
00:57:12,780 --> 00:57:13,620
OK.

1645
00:57:13,620 --> 00:57:16,060
Because lithium's a song by Nirvana.

1646
00:57:16,060 --> 00:57:16,700
Yeah.

1647
00:57:16,700 --> 00:57:17,700
Yeah, I got that.

1648
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:20,340
Could be Brittany Spears talking about Britas like,

1649
00:57:20,340 --> 00:57:21,180
be Britas.

1650
00:57:21,180 --> 00:57:22,100
This is Britas.

1651
00:57:22,100 --> 00:57:22,740
Yeah.

1652
00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:25,860
Did you hear about like the Kurt Cobain iPhone quote?

1653
00:57:25,860 --> 00:57:26,860
I know Kurt Cobain.

1654
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:28,980
Where?

1655
00:57:28,980 --> 00:57:30,180
Nice.

1656
00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:30,680
Damn.

1657
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:34,260
You guys, you got to explore more media.

1658
00:57:34,260 --> 00:57:34,820
What was that?

1659
00:57:34,820 --> 00:57:35,820
Well, we just explore more.

1660
00:57:35,820 --> 00:57:37,100
You got to explore more medium.

1661
00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:37,900
What, medium?

1662
00:57:37,900 --> 00:57:39,460
Medias.

1663
00:57:39,460 --> 00:57:40,700
Different mediums.

1664
00:57:40,700 --> 00:57:42,780
What do you mean, like art?

1665
00:57:42,780 --> 00:57:44,220
Like TikTok.

1666
00:57:44,220 --> 00:57:45,420
I am on TikTok.

1667
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:46,020
You are?

1668
00:57:46,020 --> 00:57:46,420
Yeah.

1669
00:57:46,420 --> 00:57:47,660
What are you watching?

1670
00:57:47,660 --> 00:57:49,460
No, I don't want to watch it.

1671
00:57:49,460 --> 00:57:50,220
I'm a creator.

1672
00:57:50,220 --> 00:57:52,580
I don't consume content except for Alex Jones.

1673
00:57:52,580 --> 00:57:55,980
Oh, you've never posted on, you never like went on your For You

1674
00:57:55,980 --> 00:57:57,300
page, though?

1675
00:57:57,300 --> 00:57:58,020
I do sometimes.

1676
00:57:58,020 --> 00:57:59,060
I don't want to get it.

1677
00:57:59,060 --> 00:58:01,420
And then what I do is I like the bad comedy posts

1678
00:58:01,420 --> 00:58:02,820
from my other account.

1679
00:58:02,820 --> 00:58:03,620
OK.

1680
00:58:03,620 --> 00:58:04,140
OK.

1681
00:58:04,140 --> 00:58:05,660
Yeah, you're not a pig.

1682
00:58:05,660 --> 00:58:09,940
You're not a follower.

1683
00:58:09,940 --> 00:58:10,940
No.

1684
00:58:10,940 --> 00:58:11,780
He's a farmer.

1685
00:58:11,780 --> 00:58:13,180
I follow people back and stuff.

1686
00:58:13,180 --> 00:58:15,540
I just don't go on TikTok to watch it.

1687
00:58:15,540 --> 00:58:16,020
I got you.

1688
00:58:16,020 --> 00:58:16,340
I got you.

1689
00:58:16,340 --> 00:58:16,980
I got you.

1690
00:58:16,980 --> 00:58:17,460
I got you.

1691
00:58:17,460 --> 00:58:17,940
I got you.

1692
00:58:17,940 --> 00:58:18,440
OK.

1693
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:19,500
She's been commanding her touch.

1694
00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:20,460
Nor Instagram.

1695
00:58:20,460 --> 00:58:23,940
So but sometimes I'll realize I didn't like some of my friends

1696
00:58:23,940 --> 00:58:24,900
stuff for a long time.

1697
00:58:24,900 --> 00:58:27,420
So I'll go to her page and serial like stuff.

1698
00:58:27,420 --> 00:58:28,740
Like with Dylan.

1699
00:58:28,740 --> 00:58:29,220
Why?

1700
00:58:29,220 --> 00:58:30,540
It'd be funny if you impersonated them.

1701
00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:33,580
Because I don't want them to think that I saw it

1702
00:58:33,580 --> 00:58:36,100
and didn't like it because I probably didn't see it.

1703
00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:37,900
But they see the view.

1704
00:58:37,900 --> 00:58:38,700
Yeah.

1705
00:58:38,700 --> 00:58:39,660
What did you say before?

1706
00:58:39,660 --> 00:58:40,580
Oh, and I want to see it.

1707
00:58:40,580 --> 00:58:43,660
Impersonate influencers or just stuff you see online.

1708
00:58:43,660 --> 00:58:46,220
And I watch the whole video so I make sure they get the retention.

1709
00:58:46,220 --> 00:58:48,220
Like influencers are like, let me.

1710
00:58:48,220 --> 00:58:49,660
Like you fall asleep to it?

1711
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:50,700
Yeah.

1712
00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:53,100
That would be my content if you made like,

1713
00:58:53,100 --> 00:58:54,100
you shouldn't make like,

1714
00:58:54,100 --> 00:58:55,020
Dylan Melatonin.

1715
00:58:55,020 --> 00:58:56,660
You're gonna sleep to my podcast.

1716
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:57,160
Yeah.

1717
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:57,660
Maybe.

1718
00:58:57,660 --> 00:58:58,620
Melatonin.

1719
00:58:58,620 --> 00:59:02,380
Dylan, we could probably do like a ASMR thing.

1720
00:59:02,380 --> 00:59:04,180
I don't want to put people to sleep.

1721
00:59:04,180 --> 00:59:08,180
Like three and a half hours of Dylan March talking to put you to bed.

1722
00:59:08,180 --> 00:59:09,060
And take three minutes.

1723
00:59:09,060 --> 00:59:10,060
And me with no energy.

1724
00:59:10,060 --> 00:59:11,060
Yeah.

1725
00:59:11,060 --> 00:59:14,740
And then we go to the.

1726
00:59:14,740 --> 00:59:15,940
What would you even talk about?

1727
00:59:15,940 --> 00:59:17,580
Like what do you like talking about?

1728
00:59:17,580 --> 00:59:18,940
Me?

1729
00:59:18,940 --> 00:59:20,940
I never really get the chance to talk, I guess.

1730
00:59:20,940 --> 00:59:21,440
Bees.

1731
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:22,260
I'm not used to getting ahead.

1732
00:59:22,260 --> 00:59:23,660
You like talking about bees.

1733
00:59:23,660 --> 00:59:24,140
Bees.

1734
00:59:24,140 --> 00:59:25,100
I like bees and electricity.

1735
00:59:25,100 --> 00:59:26,140
Bees and the trap.

1736
00:59:26,140 --> 00:59:27,140
Bees.

1737
00:59:27,140 --> 00:59:30,140
I like talking about ants.

1738
00:59:30,140 --> 00:59:32,140
The movie ants.

1739
00:59:32,140 --> 00:59:35,140
The movie big.

1740
00:59:35,140 --> 00:59:36,140
Babe.

1741
00:59:36,140 --> 00:59:39,140
Just movies with like one word with three letters in it.

1742
00:59:39,140 --> 00:59:41,140
The Zoltar machine.

1743
00:59:41,140 --> 00:59:42,140
Michael Clark.

1744
00:59:42,140 --> 00:59:44,140
Dylan, it's you're trying to shine.

1745
00:59:44,140 --> 00:59:45,140
Go for it.

1746
00:59:45,140 --> 00:59:46,140
Talk all you want.

1747
00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:48,140
Dylan can shine whatever he wants.

1748
00:59:48,140 --> 00:59:50,140
Oh my god, he has a notebook.

1749
00:59:50,140 --> 00:59:54,140
So, what the term of race is not a popular thing to talk about.

1750
00:59:54,140 --> 00:59:56,140
Is there any RFK wine left?

1751
00:59:56,140 --> 00:59:59,140
I used to write poetry about Martin Luther King.

1752
00:59:59,140 --> 01:00:00,140
I was a kid and I was.

1753
01:00:00,140 --> 01:00:01,140
Michael Michael.

1754
01:00:01,140 --> 01:00:03,140
I was kind of MLK Junior.

1755
01:00:03,140 --> 01:00:04,140
Why?

1756
01:00:04,140 --> 01:00:11,140
Because I was just I learned about race and discrimination and I was really passionate about this is fucked up.

1757
01:00:11,140 --> 01:00:12,140
It's just based on what they.

1758
01:00:12,140 --> 01:00:14,140
It is really fucked up.

1759
01:00:14,140 --> 01:00:15,140
Yeah.

1760
01:00:15,140 --> 01:00:16,140
And then I realized that.

1761
01:00:16,140 --> 01:00:17,140
Racism.

1762
01:00:17,140 --> 01:00:19,140
Yeah, I agree.

1763
01:00:19,140 --> 01:00:21,140
Check out the next episode.

1764
01:00:21,140 --> 01:00:26,140
I'm going to talk about how racist bad makeup for the last episode.

1765
01:00:26,140 --> 01:00:28,140
Oh, that's your crowd work.

1766
01:00:28,140 --> 01:00:29,140
Say back your hands.

1767
01:00:29,140 --> 01:00:30,140
You think racism is bad?

1768
01:00:30,140 --> 01:00:31,140
Yeah.

1769
01:00:31,140 --> 01:00:33,140
Yeah, I'm going to do that.

1770
01:00:33,140 --> 01:00:34,140
Tons of engagement.

1771
01:00:34,140 --> 01:00:35,140
Racism is bad.

1772
01:00:35,140 --> 01:00:36,140
Excellency point.

1773
01:00:36,140 --> 01:00:37,140
Is there any RFK blood?

1774
01:00:37,140 --> 01:00:38,140
I said bald racism.

1775
01:00:38,140 --> 01:00:42,140
Do you think RFK Junior eats ass?

1776
01:00:42,140 --> 01:00:45,140
No, it's bad for you.

1777
01:00:45,140 --> 01:00:47,140
He doesn't want to get pink eye.

1778
01:00:47,140 --> 01:00:49,140
It's probably pretty pretty good.

1779
01:00:49,140 --> 01:00:51,140
Do you have any more?

1780
01:00:51,140 --> 01:00:53,140
What about K wine?

1781
01:00:53,140 --> 01:00:54,140
No, I don't have any.

1782
01:00:54,140 --> 01:00:55,140
Where did you get this notebook?

1783
01:00:55,140 --> 01:00:58,140
Did you like steal it from a fucking fifth graders?

1784
01:00:58,140 --> 01:00:59,140
What?

1785
01:00:59,140 --> 01:01:01,140
Did you like beat a kid up for this?

1786
01:01:01,140 --> 01:01:02,140
For what?

1787
01:01:02,140 --> 01:01:03,140
For this?

1788
01:01:03,140 --> 01:01:04,140
Yeah.

1789
01:01:04,140 --> 01:01:05,140
I got a good will.

1790
01:01:05,140 --> 01:01:06,140
Okay.

1791
01:01:06,140 --> 01:01:08,140
I like to support probably black on business.

1792
01:01:08,140 --> 01:01:09,140
Business is.

1793
01:01:09,140 --> 01:01:10,140
Yeah.

1794
01:01:10,140 --> 01:01:11,140
Okay.

1795
01:01:11,140 --> 01:01:12,140
I'm not responding to that.

1796
01:01:12,140 --> 01:01:13,140
Okay.

1797
01:01:13,140 --> 01:01:14,140
Oh, I want to do a roast against Moe Good.

1798
01:01:14,140 --> 01:01:17,140
And I'll say it more like Moe Goodwill.

1799
01:01:17,140 --> 01:01:18,140
More like Moe Bad.

1800
01:01:18,140 --> 01:01:19,140
No, just remember.

1801
01:01:19,140 --> 01:01:20,140
And then I'll point.

1802
01:01:20,140 --> 01:01:22,140
I'll make sure Moe, Moe, I bet is there.

1803
01:01:22,140 --> 01:01:23,140
The comedian.

1804
01:01:23,140 --> 01:01:24,140
I call him Moe Bad.

1805
01:01:24,140 --> 01:01:26,140
I'll say more like Moe Bad.

1806
01:01:26,140 --> 01:01:28,140
More worse.

1807
01:01:28,140 --> 01:01:29,140
I like that.

1808
01:01:29,140 --> 01:01:31,140
There needs to be someone named Moe worse.

1809
01:01:31,140 --> 01:01:33,140
There's Moe Burns.

1810
01:01:33,140 --> 01:01:35,140
Maurice is kind of close.

1811
01:01:35,140 --> 01:01:41,140
There was a, I think the clock in the movie Beauty and the Beast was named Maurice.

1812
01:01:41,140 --> 01:01:42,140
Why do you know that?

1813
01:01:42,140 --> 01:01:46,140
Because I have a weird long term memory and then a bad short term memory.

1814
01:01:46,140 --> 01:01:48,140
I do.

1815
01:01:48,140 --> 01:01:49,140
I think there's based on the child.

1816
01:01:49,140 --> 01:01:51,140
No, not a lot of people have that.

1817
01:01:51,140 --> 01:01:52,140
I'm special.

1818
01:01:52,140 --> 01:01:53,140
All right.

1819
01:01:53,140 --> 01:01:55,140
We're trying to listen to Dylan for once.

1820
01:01:55,140 --> 01:01:56,140
This is Dylan's episode.

1821
01:01:56,140 --> 01:01:57,140
Thank you.

1822
01:01:57,140 --> 01:01:58,140
I don't want to say it's my episode.

1823
01:01:58,140 --> 01:01:59,140
He's so shy.

1824
01:01:59,140 --> 01:02:00,140
You know, I won't say I'm shy.

1825
01:02:00,140 --> 01:02:03,140
I just get talked over and realize it's fruitile.

1826
01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:04,140
Fruitile.

1827
01:02:04,140 --> 01:02:06,140
Oh, I'm sorry.

1828
01:02:06,140 --> 01:02:07,140
Fruitile.

1829
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:08,140
You finally have hair now.

1830
01:02:08,140 --> 01:02:09,140
So we care.

1831
01:02:09,140 --> 01:02:10,140
It's futile.

1832
01:02:10,140 --> 01:02:11,140
I know about fruitile.

1833
01:02:11,140 --> 01:02:12,140
As you are.

1834
01:02:12,140 --> 01:02:14,140
Okay, Junior would like that.

1835
01:02:14,140 --> 01:02:17,140
I'm going to add that to my list of words.

1836
01:02:17,140 --> 01:02:18,140
Fruitile.

1837
01:02:18,140 --> 01:02:19,140
I love that.

1838
01:02:19,140 --> 01:02:20,140
Gilbert.

1839
01:02:20,140 --> 01:02:21,140
I got Gilbert grape.

1840
01:02:21,140 --> 01:02:22,140
So yeah.

1841
01:02:22,140 --> 01:02:23,140
Okay.

1842
01:02:23,140 --> 01:02:24,140
Fruitile.

1843
01:02:24,140 --> 01:02:25,140
Yeah.

1844
01:02:25,140 --> 01:02:26,140
I don't want to talk about that.

1845
01:02:26,140 --> 01:02:28,140
Honestly, but like, no, no, no.

1846
01:02:28,140 --> 01:02:29,140
Tell me your joke.

1847
01:02:29,140 --> 01:02:30,140
Yeah.

1848
01:02:30,140 --> 01:02:31,140
Tell me your.

1849
01:02:31,140 --> 01:02:34,140
I got, I got, I got, I got, I'm a great victim.

1850
01:02:34,140 --> 01:02:35,140
Yeah.

1851
01:02:35,140 --> 01:02:37,140
We could talk about Max childhood trauma.

1852
01:02:37,140 --> 01:02:39,140
No, I'm talking about my adult trauma.

1853
01:02:39,140 --> 01:02:43,140
So what about laughter thought would be a cool way saying just if it holds is fucking all

1854
01:02:43,140 --> 01:02:44,140
these comics.

1855
01:02:44,140 --> 01:02:47,140
Maybe you say at the end of your said.

1856
01:02:47,140 --> 01:02:51,140
Before I end here, I got to click laughter thought.

1857
01:02:51,140 --> 01:02:52,140
What about this?

1858
01:02:52,140 --> 01:02:57,140
I want to do as a character just that, uh, I don't know what I am, but, uh, my nickname,

1859
01:02:57,140 --> 01:02:59,140
they call me sex.

1860
01:02:59,140 --> 01:03:02,140
I just straight up sex.

1861
01:03:02,140 --> 01:03:03,140
Why they call me.

1862
01:03:03,140 --> 01:03:04,140
That's my nickname.

1863
01:03:04,140 --> 01:03:06,140
And they're like, why?

1864
01:03:06,140 --> 01:03:08,140
Cause you have a lot of sex.

1865
01:03:08,140 --> 01:03:10,140
Like, no, because I just think about it a lot.

1866
01:03:10,140 --> 01:03:11,140
I love sex.

1867
01:03:11,140 --> 01:03:12,140
I just love it.

1868
01:03:12,140 --> 01:03:14,140
I'm not in any direction.

1869
01:03:14,140 --> 01:03:15,140
They call me sex.

1870
01:03:15,140 --> 01:03:18,140
My name is Dylan, but they call me sex.

1871
01:03:18,140 --> 01:03:21,140
I just bring up that I'm a male all the time.

1872
01:03:21,140 --> 01:03:23,140
But you got to have that wig on.

1873
01:03:23,140 --> 01:03:25,140
That should be, that should be your character.

1874
01:03:25,140 --> 01:03:28,140
You have that wig on your sex.

1875
01:03:28,140 --> 01:03:29,140
Yeah.

1876
01:03:29,140 --> 01:03:30,140
Why do I have to have the wig on?

1877
01:03:30,140 --> 01:03:32,140
Oh, you can be sex pistol.

1878
01:03:32,140 --> 01:03:35,140
Oh, why do I need the wig though?

1879
01:03:35,140 --> 01:03:36,140
Folks on audio.

1880
01:03:36,140 --> 01:03:38,140
I handed him a pistol.

1881
01:03:38,140 --> 01:03:43,140
So my 23 and me had, let's just say a lot of Neanderthal.

1882
01:03:43,140 --> 01:03:44,140
Yeah.

1883
01:03:44,140 --> 01:03:47,140
I really wanted my like nickname to be jelly bean.

1884
01:03:47,140 --> 01:03:50,140
And then I remember there's a comic named Jolly Bean.

1885
01:03:50,140 --> 01:03:51,140
Yeah.

1886
01:03:51,140 --> 01:03:52,140
So I can't talk about it.

1887
01:03:52,140 --> 01:03:53,140
Yeah.

1888
01:03:53,140 --> 01:03:55,140
I feel like a hoodie that is just straight up like Skittles.

1889
01:03:55,140 --> 01:03:57,140
You should get one full of coins.

1890
01:03:57,140 --> 01:03:59,140
Or no, wait, wait, like two coins.

1891
01:03:59,140 --> 01:04:01,140
Cause I only, yeah.

1892
01:04:01,140 --> 01:04:02,140
Yeah.

1893
01:04:02,140 --> 01:04:03,140
Just a white hoodie.

1894
01:04:03,140 --> 01:04:06,140
I mean, I literally could just tape coins to like a hoodie and be like, I

1895
01:04:06,140 --> 01:04:09,140
have no, that's too, too old.

1896
01:04:09,140 --> 01:04:10,140
Is it?

1897
01:04:10,140 --> 01:04:11,140
Like just one.

1898
01:04:11,140 --> 01:04:16,140
You need to, you know, you need to ride the line between alt and, and funny.

1899
01:04:16,140 --> 01:04:19,140
I'm not, I'm not saying go in a hack in any way.

1900
01:04:19,140 --> 01:04:20,140
Right.

1901
01:04:20,140 --> 01:04:21,140
Right.

1902
01:04:21,140 --> 01:04:22,140
Right.

1903
01:04:22,140 --> 01:04:23,140
Right.

1904
01:04:23,140 --> 01:04:24,140
For trial.

1905
01:04:24,140 --> 01:04:26,140
I'm like probably the best.

1906
01:04:26,140 --> 01:04:31,140
I'd be the best like comedy manager slash like, you know, like ghost writer,

1907
01:04:31,140 --> 01:04:32,140
tagger.

1908
01:04:32,140 --> 01:04:34,140
You'd be great for a reductress.

1909
01:04:34,140 --> 01:04:35,140
I don't know what that is.

1910
01:04:35,140 --> 01:04:37,140
That's like the woman onion.

1911
01:04:37,140 --> 01:04:38,140
Yeah.

1912
01:04:38,140 --> 01:04:40,140
No, I'm going to go with Babylon B.

1913
01:04:40,140 --> 01:04:42,140
No, but what is that?

1914
01:04:42,140 --> 01:04:43,140
It's like bees.

1915
01:04:43,140 --> 01:04:45,140
It's the woman onion.

1916
01:04:45,140 --> 01:04:46,140
Yeah.

1917
01:04:46,140 --> 01:04:47,140
What are they like?

1918
01:04:47,140 --> 01:04:48,140
What's an example?

1919
01:04:48,140 --> 01:04:50,140
I'm pretty sure I'm sure it's really funny.

1920
01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:51,140
Yeah.

1921
01:04:51,140 --> 01:04:53,140
The onion itself is very not funny.

1922
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,140
What?

1923
01:04:54,140 --> 01:04:55,140
What?

1924
01:04:55,140 --> 01:04:56,140
You don't like the onion?

1925
01:04:56,140 --> 01:04:57,140
No.

1926
01:04:57,140 --> 01:04:58,140
Why not?

1927
01:04:58,140 --> 01:04:59,140
It's not funny at all.

1928
01:04:59,140 --> 01:05:00,140
Babylon B is better.

1929
01:05:00,140 --> 01:05:01,140
Yeah.

1930
01:05:01,140 --> 01:05:02,140
Really?

1931
01:05:02,140 --> 01:05:03,140
Why?

1932
01:05:03,140 --> 01:05:04,140
It's just, it's just actually funny.

1933
01:05:04,140 --> 01:05:05,140
How is that funny?

1934
01:05:05,140 --> 01:05:10,140
I think it's just aligned with your thought process.

1935
01:05:10,140 --> 01:05:11,140
What?

1936
01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:12,140
Socialism?

1937
01:05:12,140 --> 01:05:15,140
Well, I don't want to talk about it.

1938
01:05:15,140 --> 01:05:16,140
Okay.

1939
01:05:16,140 --> 01:05:18,140
Woman bankrupted by haircut.

1940
01:05:18,140 --> 01:05:19,140
Wow.

1941
01:05:19,140 --> 01:05:20,140
Wow.

1942
01:05:20,140 --> 01:05:21,140
I'm sorry.

1943
01:05:21,140 --> 01:05:23,140
I was feeling a bit weird with that.

1944
01:05:23,140 --> 01:05:27,140
That's like my, sounds like an art article that my grandpa wrote.

1945
01:05:27,140 --> 01:05:28,140
Sedition.

1946
01:05:28,140 --> 01:05:29,140
What about?

1947
01:05:29,140 --> 01:05:33,140
Hey, air cuts are so expensive these days for women.

1948
01:05:33,140 --> 01:05:34,140
So bankrupt.

1949
01:05:34,140 --> 01:05:37,140
This woman's cubes grew back so fast.

1950
01:05:37,140 --> 01:05:39,140
They broke the sound barrier.

1951
01:05:39,140 --> 01:05:40,140
Oh my God.

1952
01:05:40,140 --> 01:05:41,140
These are really bad.

1953
01:05:41,140 --> 01:05:43,140
No, but it's about being a misogynist.

1954
01:05:43,140 --> 01:05:48,300
I think just like, the haircut one is like the same thing as the dad joke, like whole

1955
01:05:48,300 --> 01:05:50,820
foods, we're like whole paycheck.

1956
01:05:50,820 --> 01:05:51,820
That's like the same joke.

1957
01:05:51,820 --> 01:05:52,820
Yeah.

1958
01:05:52,820 --> 01:05:57,500
But I feel like every article, like every satirical article is kind of bad.

1959
01:05:57,500 --> 01:06:02,140
Well, now, because they're not, they're too scared to say anything that's like a little

1960
01:06:02,140 --> 01:06:03,140
bit edgy.

1961
01:06:03,140 --> 01:06:08,140
Oh, that's what you know, like this version of the onion is even more less.

1962
01:06:08,140 --> 01:06:09,420
I'll Babylon be now.

1963
01:06:09,420 --> 01:06:15,140
It's like Nancy Pelosi hospitalized with dangerously low blood alcohol level.

1964
01:06:15,140 --> 01:06:17,140
Maybe she should have.

1965
01:06:17,140 --> 01:06:19,140
Dangerously low alcohol level.

1966
01:06:19,140 --> 01:06:20,140
Yeah.

1967
01:06:20,140 --> 01:06:21,140
She's an alcoholic.

1968
01:06:21,140 --> 01:06:22,140
Okay.

1969
01:06:22,140 --> 01:06:28,540
McDonald's presents employee who caught shooter with coupon good for one free large drink

1970
01:06:28,540 --> 01:06:30,820
with purchase of food item.

1971
01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:33,980
It's not like, but I have, has anyone done this yet?

1972
01:06:33,980 --> 01:06:38,740
Do you guys know the person that found the CEO shooter?

1973
01:06:38,740 --> 01:06:39,740
Luigi?

1974
01:06:39,740 --> 01:06:40,740
Yeah, it was.

1975
01:06:40,740 --> 01:06:41,740
It was.

1976
01:06:41,740 --> 01:06:44,740
Donald Trump was the worker that found him.

1977
01:06:44,740 --> 01:06:46,740
No, it wasn't McDonald's.

1978
01:06:46,740 --> 01:06:47,740
Yeah.

1979
01:06:47,740 --> 01:06:52,340
That's a good joke.

1980
01:06:52,340 --> 01:06:54,340
McDonald's has gotten a lot of press recently.

1981
01:06:54,340 --> 01:07:01,580
I've been saying that I look like Grimace, more McDonald's and in the Louis G. I look

1982
01:07:01,580 --> 01:07:04,340
like every shooter except Luigi.

1983
01:07:04,340 --> 01:07:05,340
Yeah.

1984
01:07:05,340 --> 01:07:06,340
Yeah, what gives?

1985
01:07:06,340 --> 01:07:07,340
You guys know that the.

1986
01:07:07,340 --> 01:07:08,340
Yeah, I fucking yoddy.

1987
01:07:08,340 --> 01:07:09,340
You're eating my shirt.

1988
01:07:09,340 --> 01:07:10,340
He just.

1989
01:07:10,340 --> 01:07:11,340
Actually Donald's employee.

1990
01:07:11,340 --> 01:07:12,340
Yeah.

1991
01:07:12,340 --> 01:07:17,340
What about if I try to get a job?

1992
01:07:17,340 --> 01:07:19,340
It'd be like pursuit of sadness.

1993
01:07:19,340 --> 01:07:20,340
I'm doing.

1994
01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:21,340
I'm doing.

1995
01:07:21,340 --> 01:07:22,340
I'm using that joke.

1996
01:07:22,340 --> 01:07:23,340
The McDonald's.

1997
01:07:23,340 --> 01:07:24,340
I'm going to use it someday.

1998
01:07:24,340 --> 01:07:25,340
I'm going to go to a.

1999
01:07:25,340 --> 01:07:26,340
I'm going to use it tonight.

2000
01:07:26,340 --> 01:07:27,340
I'm going to.

2001
01:07:27,340 --> 01:07:28,340
I'm going to.

2002
01:07:28,340 --> 01:07:32,620
No, I'm going to force someone to make me know I'm going to Lincoln Lodge to give people

2003
01:07:32,620 --> 01:07:33,620
a hard time.

2004
01:07:33,620 --> 01:07:35,340
Yeah, you know, you know, they're like.

2005
01:07:35,340 --> 01:07:39,340
No, but I'm getting us trouble for equal eye outbreaks.

2006
01:07:39,340 --> 01:07:42,340
And then finally they posted on Instagram that it's all good.

2007
01:07:42,340 --> 01:07:43,340
Wow.

2008
01:07:43,340 --> 01:07:44,340
No more you call I outbreaks.

2009
01:07:44,340 --> 01:07:45,340
You know, it's weird.

2010
01:07:45,340 --> 01:07:50,840
You know, it's weird the day after Trump did the McDonald's thing that you go lie outbreak

2011
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:52,340
happened weird.

2012
01:07:52,340 --> 01:07:54,340
What do you think about?

2013
01:07:54,340 --> 01:08:00,340
Yeah, this girl told me that guys want a guy wanted her to iron his dick.

2014
01:08:00,340 --> 01:08:02,340
I know that was a kink.

2015
01:08:02,340 --> 01:08:04,340
Oh, that's sexist.

2016
01:08:04,340 --> 01:08:06,340
That probably hurts, right?

2017
01:08:06,340 --> 01:08:11,340
Yeah, I mean, I think that that's what he wanted was the pain of getting his dick iron.

2018
01:08:11,340 --> 01:08:12,340
Wait, he wanted to get his dick iron.

2019
01:08:12,340 --> 01:08:16,340
I mean, but I think that's sexist to want her to iron it for.

2020
01:08:16,340 --> 01:08:17,340
Your own dick.

2021
01:08:17,340 --> 01:08:21,340
Michael Myers tried to have sex with a self checkout thing.

2022
01:08:21,340 --> 01:08:25,340
But his dick is a dick is flat enough.

2023
01:08:25,340 --> 01:08:27,340
He does it flat.

2024
01:08:27,340 --> 01:08:28,340
He's a very flat dick.

2025
01:08:28,340 --> 01:08:29,340
Yeah.

2026
01:08:29,340 --> 01:08:31,340
But it's all right.

2027
01:08:31,340 --> 01:08:32,340
He got iron.

2028
01:08:32,340 --> 01:08:34,340
How's your she called iron Mike.

2029
01:08:34,340 --> 01:08:35,340
That'd be a cool nickname.

2030
01:08:35,340 --> 01:08:36,340
Yeah, that's true.

2031
01:08:36,340 --> 01:08:37,340
I like that.

2032
01:08:37,340 --> 01:08:38,340
How do you Dylan?

2033
01:08:38,340 --> 01:08:43,340
I wanted to ask you a question because I know you've been kind of mourning your Lego wife.

2034
01:08:43,340 --> 01:08:44,340
Yeah.

2035
01:08:44,340 --> 01:08:46,340
How are you going along with that?

2036
01:08:46,340 --> 01:08:49,340
Well, I miss my sweet John Bonet.

2037
01:08:49,340 --> 01:08:51,340
She was so sweet to me.

2038
01:08:51,340 --> 01:08:52,340
Yeah.

2039
01:08:52,340 --> 01:08:53,340
We tried to have sex.

2040
01:08:53,340 --> 01:08:55,340
Well, but you're the Lego wife, right?

2041
01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:56,340
Not the child.

2042
01:08:56,340 --> 01:08:57,340
Yeah.

2043
01:08:57,340 --> 01:08:58,340
No.

2044
01:08:58,340 --> 01:09:01,340
We were Legos.

2045
01:09:01,340 --> 01:09:04,340
He was he was in a if you need context, he was.

2046
01:09:04,340 --> 01:09:05,340
Yeah, he took a DMT.

2047
01:09:05,340 --> 01:09:06,340
He did DMT.

2048
01:09:06,340 --> 01:09:10,340
He was out for five minutes and I guess he lived 20 years as a Lego.

2049
01:09:10,340 --> 01:09:11,340
Legos can't have sex.

2050
01:09:11,340 --> 01:09:13,340
Where did you do DMT again?

2051
01:09:13,340 --> 01:09:15,340
John Hickins house.

2052
01:09:15,340 --> 01:09:17,340
Was it a safe space?

2053
01:09:17,340 --> 01:09:19,340
Actually, it was actually not there.

2054
01:09:19,340 --> 01:09:21,340
Let's say not there actually.

2055
01:09:21,340 --> 01:09:24,340
There's not there.

2056
01:09:24,340 --> 01:09:26,340
There's not there either.

2057
01:09:26,340 --> 01:09:30,340
Because Mac was there and John Hickock was at his.

2058
01:09:30,340 --> 01:09:31,340
He was somewhere else.

2059
01:09:31,340 --> 01:09:32,340
Yeah.

2060
01:09:32,340 --> 01:09:33,340
Some random place.

2061
01:09:33,340 --> 01:09:34,340
Okay.

2062
01:09:34,340 --> 01:09:36,340
Yeah, just we were.

2063
01:09:36,340 --> 01:09:37,340
It was here.

2064
01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:39,340
Well, we called my room when we did DMT.

2065
01:09:39,340 --> 01:09:41,340
We called John Hickock's house.

2066
01:09:41,340 --> 01:09:42,340
You did DMT too?

2067
01:09:42,340 --> 01:09:46,340
Well, no, I watched him go through 20 years of Lego life.

2068
01:09:46,340 --> 01:09:47,340
Oh my God.

2069
01:09:47,340 --> 01:09:48,340
DMT's drugs.

2070
01:09:48,340 --> 01:09:49,340
I've done it before.

2071
01:09:49,340 --> 01:09:50,340
Oh, you have?

2072
01:09:50,340 --> 01:09:51,340
Yeah.

2073
01:09:51,340 --> 01:09:52,340
How was your experience?

2074
01:09:52,340 --> 01:09:53,340
I was really drunk this.

2075
01:09:53,340 --> 01:09:55,340
I just saw a bunch of lasers.

2076
01:09:55,340 --> 01:09:56,340
Okay.

2077
01:09:56,340 --> 01:09:57,340
That's lame.

2078
01:09:57,340 --> 01:09:58,340
It was like major laser.

2079
01:09:58,340 --> 01:09:59,340
No, no, no true love.

2080
01:09:59,340 --> 01:10:00,340
No Lego way.

2081
01:10:00,340 --> 01:10:02,340
You know, I think it's coming up in the future.

2082
01:10:02,340 --> 01:10:03,340
You know, Tim back.

2083
01:10:03,340 --> 01:10:04,340
What?

2084
01:10:04,340 --> 01:10:05,340
Bass nectar.

2085
01:10:05,340 --> 01:10:06,340
What's that?

2086
01:10:06,340 --> 01:10:07,340
You know, bees.

2087
01:10:07,340 --> 01:10:08,340
Bass nectar.

2088
01:10:08,340 --> 01:10:09,340
The.

2089
01:10:09,340 --> 01:10:10,340
The.

2090
01:10:10,340 --> 01:10:11,340
The.

2091
01:10:11,340 --> 01:10:12,340
The.

2092
01:10:12,340 --> 01:10:13,340
The.

2093
01:10:13,340 --> 01:10:14,340
The.

2094
01:10:14,340 --> 01:10:16,340
The.

2095
01:10:16,340 --> 01:10:17,340
EDM.

2096
01:10:17,340 --> 01:10:19,340
Oh, the EDM artists.

2097
01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:20,340
Oh yeah.

2098
01:10:20,340 --> 01:10:21,340
Oh.

2099
01:10:21,340 --> 01:10:22,340
Wow.

2100
01:10:22,340 --> 01:10:26,340
I'm straight I like fucking buried him in my brain.

2101
01:10:26,340 --> 01:10:27,340
I mean, some.

2102
01:10:27,340 --> 01:10:28,340
I wanna hear more.

2103
01:10:28,340 --> 01:10:29,340
I wanna hear more of that.

2104
01:10:29,340 --> 01:10:30,340
So go.

2105
01:10:30,340 --> 01:10:31,340
Here.

2106
01:10:33,340 --> 01:10:36,340
I think.

2107
01:10:35,340 --> 01:10:37,340
I don't think.

2108
01:10:42,340 --> 01:10:43,340
I think.

2109
01:10:43,340 --> 01:10:51,100
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. What do you mean? Like chemtrails? Not nitrous oxide. Like casually.

2110
01:10:51,100 --> 01:10:57,580
Oh, I love whippets. I've never done whippets before for some reason. I have when it's so

2111
01:10:57,580 --> 01:11:04,180
accessible. I have not I mean. Yeah, I think it's like a 30 second high. Also, it's like

2112
01:11:04,180 --> 01:11:07,540
the opposite of helium. So you can write to you take it. You could talk in a super deep.

2113
01:11:07,540 --> 01:11:13,660
Have you ever done the choking game? You could choke each other out, you and your bros and

2114
01:11:13,660 --> 01:11:18,700
then your pasta. Who knows? I heard about people dying from it. Yeah, it's like why do people

2115
01:11:18,700 --> 01:11:24,140
choke each other out? Because you get high from the blood not rushing your head. They

2116
01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:33,460
call me sex. I feel uncomfortable. Okay. But why do people why do people choke each other?

2117
01:11:33,460 --> 01:11:39,460
Okay, I'll just never heard of choking. No, it was like a it was like a thing that like

2118
01:11:39,460 --> 01:11:43,580
parents in high school were like freaking out about like, oh, my kid died from the choking

2119
01:11:43,580 --> 01:11:50,220
game. Like shut up. Oh, just like don't worry, coach. We're playing the choking game, not

2120
01:11:50,220 --> 01:11:54,620
getting high. No, we're playing the joking game of the choking game. That's what I always

2121
01:11:54,620 --> 01:12:01,580
said. That's that's really fucked up. Wow. I kids just want to get high so bad. Dude,

2122
01:12:01,580 --> 01:12:07,060
I grew up during the times of like silly bands. And they banded that because they were like,

2123
01:12:07,060 --> 01:12:11,380
you guys are hitting each other was rubber bands or shaped like diner stores. You know,

2124
01:12:11,380 --> 01:12:15,980
I did one time. So we used to get a rubber band. You put it like a slingshot between

2125
01:12:15,980 --> 01:12:21,780
your two fingers. Yeah, shoot like a pencil. And I shot one. I was point blank right next

2126
01:12:21,780 --> 01:12:26,700
to my buddy. Because we like these tables of four. And so it was like he was like right

2127
01:12:26,700 --> 01:12:32,740
here where Dylan is and then I pulled it back and shot it stuck in his leg. Oh, what the

2128
01:12:32,740 --> 01:12:37,940
fuck is wrong with you fucking do and then we heard a lot of animals. Well, then we both

2129
01:12:37,940 --> 01:12:46,180
laughed. Oh, is he okay? Yeah. Do you guys still talk? You guys get coffee? No, who the

2130
01:12:46,180 --> 01:12:50,740
fuck it's coffee? You got caught. Well, no, do you guys like hang out? You guys like chit

2131
01:12:50,740 --> 01:12:55,180
chat? This was a long time ago. No, okay, he got you off. No, I mean, you caught him off

2132
01:12:55,180 --> 01:13:00,180
not because of that. I mean, we were two different high schools. This is in grade school. Okay,

2133
01:13:00,180 --> 01:13:05,660
what's his name? You want to shout him out? Shout out to Nick Cassati. Yeah, Nick Cassati.

2134
01:13:05,660 --> 01:13:12,860
I'm so sorry about the lead in your leg. Literally leg John led leg leg leg John Lidley. Yeah,

2135
01:13:12,860 --> 01:13:18,460
man. Yeah, please let us know who you vote for in the comments below if you're subscribed

2136
01:13:18,460 --> 01:13:24,860
or yeah, make sure to hit like and subscribe folks and join patreon.com slash bad comedy

2137
01:13:24,860 --> 01:13:30,940
for the good episodes. Influencers that I was want to hear. Let me hear what you guys think

2138
01:13:30,940 --> 01:13:36,820
about that. No, you're the influencer. You're supposed to change my mind. Yeah, don't you

2139
01:13:36,820 --> 01:13:42,980
don't care what I think. Yeah, yeah, don't don't comment because I'm right my opinion.

2140
01:13:42,980 --> 01:13:47,660
Yeah, I'm the one influencing you. I'm not gonna let you influence me in the comments

2141
01:13:47,660 --> 01:13:54,060
could be an influencer. Guys, please comment whatever you want. Comment like Trump 47 or

2142
01:13:54,060 --> 01:14:00,780
whatever, whatever you want. Shouldn't be or stop the season of friends or stop the

2143
01:14:00,780 --> 01:14:07,860
steel you can post because the election gets stolen from Kamala. When you play white and

2144
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:14,140
what do they call it will steal? Oh, I don't know. What really what do they call it? I

2145
01:14:14,140 --> 01:14:21,460
was thinking of Tame Impala the song elephant. And it looks like an elephant taking his

2146
01:14:21,460 --> 01:14:29,340
yeah, I know that song like every car commercial ever. And it's also in Madden. Yeah. Okay,

2147
01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:35,580
folks, patreon.com slash bad comedy and hit like and subscribe because we actually need

2148
01:14:35,580 --> 01:14:40,500
your we need we're not influencers. We're influenced by you because we are listeners

2149
01:14:40,500 --> 01:14:46,380
or what make us who we are. Please for the love of God, please just comment something

2150
01:14:46,380 --> 01:14:56,500
like something like something gay, something gay, just something without like calm or politics

2151
01:14:56,500 --> 01:15:04,660
or no no opinion or killing people. Just something. Yeah, something unopinionated and and just

2152
01:15:04,660 --> 01:15:07,900
like you're the only not instrumental. You were the only one talking about canceling

2153
01:15:07,900 --> 01:15:13,820
people. I'm not canceling anyone. I'm not canceling anyone. Let's talk about cancel

2154
01:15:13,820 --> 01:15:18,260
your influencer that doesn't want to hear their opinions. Just they have to. All right,

2155
01:15:18,260 --> 01:15:23,980
just comment. Hello, hello. There's a place called vertigo. How about that? Yeah, actually,

2156
01:15:23,980 --> 01:15:27,980
comment your favorite writing utensil. Actually, if you get to the end of this episode and

2157
01:15:27,980 --> 01:15:32,940
if you're a patron and you comment, Hello, Hello, there's a place called vertigo. I'll

2158
01:15:32,940 --> 01:15:39,580
refund one month of Patreon back to you. Hey, oh, not only the first person though. Yeah,

2159
01:15:39,580 --> 01:15:45,820
your favorite type of category of comedy and we'll do it on the podcast next week or your

2160
01:15:45,820 --> 01:15:52,220
favorite. Try our best. Or category of category of corn. I don't really fucking play the

2161
01:15:52,220 --> 01:16:02,980
band. Oh, yeah. That's corn. That's basically corn. That was good. Yeah, thank you. I want

2162
01:16:02,980 --> 01:16:08,180
to go I went to go to a corn concert. I went to a concert. You went to one. Yeah, you went

2163
01:16:08,180 --> 01:16:12,540
to one or you want to go to one? I went to one. I want to go to one. Oh, it was okay.

2164
01:16:12,540 --> 01:16:16,660
I like was working. I was working at a venue that day. So they didn't allow me to watch

2165
01:16:16,660 --> 01:16:20,340
the full fucking thing. But I watched like that was part of the deal. It was like a slit

2166
01:16:20,340 --> 01:16:26,540
not to and shit. I've been like feeling like a freak. Yeah, and I bought a shirt and it

2167
01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:31,940
was like $40 and that shit felt like a polyester napkin. Yeah, and you work hard for that

2168
01:16:31,940 --> 01:16:39,420
thing. And you're just like, what? What did I get myself into these festivals? Yeah, I

2169
01:16:39,420 --> 01:16:43,940
was literally like sorting garbage. You're probably I was in sustainability. You're probably

2170
01:16:43,940 --> 01:16:49,500
like feeling like a freak on a leash. Right? Yeah. Yeah, no, I literally yeah, I had to

2171
01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:53,580
take my shirt off because I was like my work shirt. So I was just like walking around and

2172
01:16:53,580 --> 01:16:59,980
live broad. I was like, I'm at work right now. You're like work sucks. I know. I was

2173
01:16:59,980 --> 01:17:03,700
like, Michael Cooper the other day and it was like five minutes and he started talking

2174
01:17:03,700 --> 01:17:10,060
about how capital is inherently class like different classes. It is just interesting.

2175
01:17:10,060 --> 01:17:14,980
Did he say any good jokes or I just there's a weird there's a weird correlation might be

2176
01:17:14,980 --> 01:17:20,100
causation that most communists hate working. It's just kind of weird. No, but I feel it's

2177
01:17:20,100 --> 01:17:24,140
like the system failed them or whatever. No, it's just they didn't work. I went to Rocky

2178
01:17:24,140 --> 01:17:30,620
USA once with my friend George shot George and we got these t shirts. It said drunk bitch

2179
01:17:30,620 --> 01:17:36,300
one and George George George. George George. No, yeah. That's funny that you remembered

2180
01:17:36,300 --> 01:17:42,180
George. You do have a weird memory. We thought you mentioned him on the on our history podcast

2181
01:17:42,180 --> 01:17:48,860
episode and one of the George Kara George who is a Greek drunk teacher and he had a lot

2182
01:17:48,860 --> 01:17:56,180
of Irish coffee for a dude. Teachers are fucking not. Yeah, they're always having affairs

2183
01:17:56,180 --> 01:18:00,860
and shit. Joe Kilgallon drinks a lot of gallon Irish coffee. I think they get that power

2184
01:18:00,860 --> 01:18:04,340
and then all of a sudden they're like, what else do I want? And then they're like, I forgot

2185
01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:10,260
to do that and then they fight people. I want power. Yeah, I had a teacher who was like

2186
01:18:10,260 --> 01:18:15,140
skydiving with students and then he had an affair when he had like a three year old kid

2187
01:18:15,140 --> 01:18:20,580
with like his new wife. He was guy and diagram. He's guy diving. Yeah, you didn't invite me

2188
01:18:20,580 --> 01:18:25,460
to skydive. I was confused. Wow. Any chick. You didn't invite the chicks. Yeah, you only

2189
01:18:25,460 --> 01:18:29,740
invited dudes. Well, let's just chicks can't do like extreme sports really. He's like this.

2190
01:18:29,740 --> 01:18:37,860
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you could hide it. But secretly that's what he wanted. No, a coin

2191
01:18:37,860 --> 01:18:43,300
shortage. Do you have any shows of Beauty Bar in the 21st? Yeah. Okay. Well, not me.

2192
01:18:43,300 --> 01:18:48,220
Grisbiller does if she invited me to be on the doing it. I'm doing an actual comedy set.

2193
01:18:48,220 --> 01:18:53,660
I'm helping your fucking plug. It's interesting. I was trying to make it natural to know it

2194
01:18:53,660 --> 01:18:58,020
didn't work out, but it's okay. Hey, are you going to be doing a standup set on the 21st

2195
01:18:58,020 --> 01:19:05,580
of Beauty Bar? Yes, I'm happy. I'm gonna be there on the 21st of Beauty Bar. Is it like

2196
01:19:05,580 --> 01:19:12,300
8pm? Yeah, no, it's it's at like seven. Yeah, I mean, that's what I meant. Seven. Yeah. So

2197
01:19:12,300 --> 01:19:16,500
guys go to that. It's gonna be a really good show. No, it's gonna be so fucking funny.

2198
01:19:16,500 --> 01:19:20,220
And you're gonna laugh your ass off. You're gonna like not regret spending $5. They have

2199
01:19:20,220 --> 01:19:25,260
really good cucumber. I mean, $5. That's a steal skinny drinks. Yeah, it's I mean, with

2200
01:19:25,260 --> 01:19:29,460
inflation, that's pretty much free. Yeah, I'm gonna not talk about politics. So I'm gonna

2201
01:19:29,460 --> 01:19:32,740
talk about ducks and I'm gonna talk about like get things in life, like all the things

2202
01:19:32,740 --> 01:19:35,740
that you'd like. And then I could bring a fake gun if you're chill with that. But like,

2203
01:19:35,740 --> 01:19:39,820
let me know your trigger warnings in the comments below because I might because it's a gun.

2204
01:19:39,820 --> 01:19:46,020
And I know I'm afraid of guns and I love gun. You know, I was born in Chicago, like they're

2205
01:19:46,020 --> 01:19:49,620
shootings for me left and right, you know, so it's like I'm just like this and ties to

2206
01:19:49,620 --> 01:19:55,380
it. But I understand if you like, if you're like, Oh, God, God, like a gun, it's America,

2207
01:19:55,380 --> 01:20:00,900
but whatever. Fuck you. I guess it's always been a Swalons. I didn't say that. But yeah,

2208
01:20:00,900 --> 01:20:07,900
come to Beauty Bar from the Beauty Bar. I'm gonna be losing my, I guess, mile high virginity

2209
01:20:07,900 --> 01:20:13,380
in a hot air balloon soon. Yeah. I don't know when or really? Yeah. What kind? What kind

2210
01:20:13,380 --> 01:20:19,180
of like hot air balloon? You know, it's gonna be, it's gonna look like a big condom. You

2211
01:20:19,180 --> 01:20:24,540
don't know what day it looks like. Okay, whatever. Go for it. Who are you gonna bang in the higher

2212
01:20:24,540 --> 01:20:28,260
balloon? It's I'm not going to be doing the banging. You're gonna get banged. Let's just

2213
01:20:28,260 --> 01:20:32,100
say. Okay. All right. Well, we'll see what happens. Hey, we'll figure out more details

2214
01:20:32,100 --> 01:20:37,020
later on that one. We'll talk about that behind the paywall later. Yeah, that's hot. And

2215
01:20:37,020 --> 01:20:43,460
dude, is there any way to follow you at Comedy Baddie? You follow me at Comedy Baddie. And

2216
01:20:43,460 --> 01:20:49,820
you can if you want to sponsor my utilities bill, I'm going into electricity. You'd mean

2217
01:20:49,820 --> 01:20:54,740
a lot to me. Yeah. Wait, really? Yeah, love electricity. Do you need money right now? Yes,

2218
01:20:54,740 --> 01:21:01,700
send me money. He loves Comed. I'm just as I want money. What about Comed Towns? It's

2219
01:21:01,700 --> 01:21:08,660
like Ed Towns. But he's like, but he's like, he's electric. Yeah, nice. I bet he would.

2220
01:21:08,660 --> 01:21:14,860
He might use that if you tell him. Yeah. What about like, instead of the People's Republic

2221
01:21:14,860 --> 01:21:21,820
of China, it's People's Gas Republic of China. Yeah, it's like gas energy is. That's the

2222
01:21:21,820 --> 01:21:27,860
gas utility provider in Chicago. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. I think that'll

2223
01:21:27,860 --> 01:21:32,980
be in China. Yeah, I think you got to say that. Easy bar at like 11. Folks, I'll be at

2224
01:21:32,980 --> 01:21:38,420
Zany's and Comedy Bar on Friday, Saturday. I'll be doing two shows at Zany's. It's going

2225
01:21:38,420 --> 01:21:44,700
to be I believe it's the 8pm and the 10pm. Right. So catch any of those. You'll probably

2226
01:21:44,700 --> 01:21:50,700
see me on the flyer. Just go online. Zany's.com, comedyword.com, laughadry.com. It's the one

2227
01:21:50,700 --> 01:21:57,740
in Rose Ma. No, it's not. It's actually. It's the one. Just go to one of them. I'll be there.

2228
01:21:57,740 --> 01:22:02,220
I'll tell you that much. I'm going to be performing at the Laugh Factory in Florida. Me and Jim

2229
01:22:02,220 --> 01:22:06,300
Flannel shirt are doing a set. We're both on stage. Both of our flannel shirts. He's

2230
01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:12,860
so funny. I'll be at the end. Always nice. Hollywood. He's nice to well, just well, he's

2231
01:22:12,860 --> 01:22:19,340
he's actually really racist and mean. What? Yeah. Really? Who said that? Well, we us Chicago

2232
01:22:19,340 --> 01:22:24,780
reader. Yeah, we need to kind of a deep dive on Jim Flanigan. Turns out he's major racist.

2233
01:22:24,780 --> 01:22:32,940
We should invite him to the pod. He's too offensive. He's too offensive for the bar.

2234
01:22:32,940 --> 01:22:39,900
Maybe he thinks it's not good for him. He is a fan. Okay. Okay. Now he he doesn't want

2235
01:22:39,900 --> 01:22:45,420
to come on the pod. For an assortment of reasons because well, he goes like he goes on like

2236
01:22:45,420 --> 01:22:51,900
daytime news. Sometimes people are saying they're afraid of God and Max scares me. Yeah, I've

2237
01:22:51,900 --> 01:22:56,140
only had like the only people that have actually turned me down. I like him and Chris Higgins,

2238
01:22:56,140 --> 01:23:03,100
who are like trying to like the run around. What run around? Well, yeah, no, I'd love

2239
01:23:03,100 --> 01:23:07,580
to do it. It's all high pitched and people know I just say I got figure out of time.

2240
01:23:07,580 --> 01:23:12,860
No, I don't fuck around. I've been given a lot of final warnings to emulate you have

2241
01:23:12,860 --> 01:23:19,020
been saying this is your final warning. Just just miss a ton about comment. Yeah, I love

2242
01:23:19,020 --> 01:23:23,980
giving people final warnings. You better vote. What does that mean? It just it's like a bluff.

2243
01:23:23,980 --> 01:23:29,260
It's just power movie. But you just say this is important. You got to read the art of the peel.

2244
01:23:30,780 --> 01:23:34,300
I feel like I can't say final warning. I feel like people would see through that.

2245
01:23:34,300 --> 01:23:40,380
No, you can say it. Well, you got to have you got to lead up to it with some power and then I

2246
01:23:40,380 --> 01:23:46,540
feel like this is your first warning. And then I'll never follow up. Yeah. Yeah. And that would

2247
01:23:46,540 --> 01:23:52,620
probably make me more of a target. No, but be funny. I heard that one guy puts his fucking name

2248
01:23:52,620 --> 01:24:00,460
whatever he was on Mr. Show. But he's not Bob Odin Kirk, the other guy. I should hear David

2249
01:24:00,460 --> 01:24:07,340
Cross. Yeah, he was like this is your first four verbal warning. That is funny. It's an empty threat.

2250
01:24:08,060 --> 01:24:14,620
First verbal warning. Okay, well, they doesn't even have a fake gun. Yeah. How's he gonna arrive

2251
01:24:14,620 --> 01:24:21,260
anybody? I'm gonna take their fake gun. Like you stole my gun. I don't know if she had in her car

2252
01:24:22,300 --> 01:24:28,220
that's his low. This is how long how long have you had that? Um, for like two years. Well,

2253
01:24:28,220 --> 01:24:32,940
I've had my I've had mine in my car for two years. I've had my ironic gun on the podcast for three years.

2254
01:24:32,940 --> 01:24:38,700
So well, she's owned longer. It's just been in your car for two years. Yeah. I don't believe that.

2255
01:24:39,340 --> 01:24:43,180
So do you ever really you don't think I own this since I was 20? Well, I had another gun

2256
01:24:43,180 --> 01:24:48,060
before that gun. It's not her fault that she has a car. It's not my fault. I'm funny. Other than you

2257
01:24:48,060 --> 01:24:54,060
what a younger age. Yeah, wrong. That time that you bombed and people had to cry and they were

2258
01:24:54,060 --> 01:25:01,820
hugging you in the other shirts got wet from your tears. Dude, yeah. No, that asked for that did

2259
01:25:01,820 --> 01:25:08,380
happen. And I had a flat tire that day too. Wow. I had a frat. I didn't cry. But I was like,

2260
01:25:08,380 --> 01:25:13,740
shit. Should I like kill myself? Or yeah, I got a frat tire. I got a Sigma Alpha Absalon tire.

2261
01:25:14,540 --> 01:25:20,780
Oh, okay. I have like a good pump. By school pump. Like an action. Yeah, it's like high tech,

2262
01:25:20,780 --> 01:25:26,220
like Elon Musk's pump. I have a breast pump that I got for Dale. Okay. All right, folks. Does it work?

2263
01:25:27,340 --> 01:25:30,620
Yeah. You know, sometimes I could work. Sorry. Yeah, you could cut the pot. You could cut the

2264
01:25:30,620 --> 01:25:33,740
pot. We'll try it out next time. Well, going shorter. Thanks for coming on. Slay.

2265
01:25:33,740 --> 01:25:40,460
Hey, sex. Thanks for coming on. Thank you. Mac. Thanks for coming on. Thank you,

2266
01:25:40,460 --> 01:25:47,660
Mac. Anytime. Anytime. I would come on anytime. All right. Thanks, Mac. All right, folks. My bad.

2267
01:25:47,660 --> 01:26:05,100
I will catch you in the sunshine.