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comedy podcast. It's another great day. My name is Mac nipples and I'm here with Dylan

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and our she was on the she's on the Trump transition team voted for Trump. No, I didn't

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her name is coin shortage on Instagram. But her real name is Alexandra. Yeah, and she's

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our intern. Yeah, this is very important. We hired her as a DEI hire. We wanted to have

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a woman on the show. I'm sorry. Yeah, but she's very funny. So we're glad to have her

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have you. Thank God. So yeah, we're not. What misogynist, they're really not sexes.

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Yeah, see, they're not sexes at all. Yeah, that's what I thought. I guess I see this

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is a bunch of white males. I just I want to throw up. Yeah, like Jonah Jerkins and Joe

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Killgallon's podcast. Yeah, I've listened to like five seconds of it. Yeah, we're actually

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going to do a crosscast with them when I see a show. I don't know if you can be on that

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one because we only have four microphones. That's okay. I don't care. The whole lineup

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is just men. It's just like, yeah, that's not comedy. A man. Yucky. I kind of want like,

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can we have two more people who look like Joe Killigan and Jonah Jerkins? They do look

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like they're from the same test to Jim Bo kill a gun or whatever. Yeah, they were. Well,

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Joe kill killing a gallon of coffee, right? They're killing out Joe. The guy drinks a lot

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of coffee. Yeah, I love coffee. Coffee's good. Yeah, I don't really drink it. I just eat caffeine

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pills. I bet that Joe killing a gallon probably drinks Irish coffee. Yeah, true. George Kara

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George allegedly was the name George Kara George. Very I remember that guy wasn't that

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wasn't any part of the Declaration of Independence. He was one of the George's. Yeah, back then

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they had George Washington. They had King George who was Santos. They had another George.

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They like they had like 80 George's back then. Yeah, now we had to say like George Soros,

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who controls the the New World Order. Curious, curious, George, George Howington, who's a

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runs Mike. It's about it. I like coffee, too. Coffee. John coffee was that was the name

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of in Green Mile. Michael Clark Duncan, the big black dude. Is that a movie? Fuck. Yeah,

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it's a movie where the the watch it right now. Michael Clark Duncan, the giant, the

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giant black actor. He's dead now. Oh, Tom Hanks was in it. Oh, I know. Yeah, he is the guy

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that gets locked up for killing a girl. They didn't kill her. He was trying to save her

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by he was like a magic guy. And he was trying to how's he magic? He would like be able to

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breathe like magic bees into people and then they cure them to cancer or whatever. Suck

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diseases out of people, I believe. No, that's Michael Clark sucking. I always get that's

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the other one. Yeah. Are you confused? I like coffee. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of Starbucks.

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But I yeah, I love eight mile. Okay. That's a good movie. Yeah, I love it. I love that's

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where he's like, I'm a white boy, but my neck is red. I'm a wonderful. Yeah. Oh, I like

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mom's Piscetti. No, that's what I call it. Piscetti. Oh, yeah, I didn't know how to say

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spaghetti. Wait, wait, slap him upside the head. And yeah, it was only it was only good

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when I was a kid and now it's bad. My mom's spaghetti sucks ass. But when it was Piscetti,

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I was so young that why are you calling it Piscetti? That's what I would call it when

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I was a kid. Why? Because I was retarded. Okay, it feels Freudian. It feels like Freudian.

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Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like crossing a boundary. What? Like a taboo. He's always

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interested in Freud and all of his ideologies. Right on George. George Freud is another one.

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Because you don't have sense with his mom. That's not George. You messed up. You messed

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up the last name. George Freud. Yeah, I like I don't know the story. Eminem is okay. I

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like Eminem. I like what he did with he took like a million and a half dollars from Kamala

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Harris to talk for one minute on stage. Yeah, I love that coconut lady. She's so she I wish

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she was my president. My gosh, you're a commie. Actually, yeah, I love communism. Yeah, me

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too. Yeah, I like it like from a distance. Oh guys, I wanted to tell you something. I'm

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guys, I'm I'm trans. Oh, I mean, I mean, I'm a trans man. So I transitioned to become

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a girl and then back to man. So I'm a man again. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. That was this

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during this week. As long as you're doing well, I was trying to play women's sports.

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Yeah. And I wasn't good enough. Yeah, I was trying to get a gold medal in the Olympics,

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but didn't work out. I thought it was all based on gender. I think it's more of a feeling

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kind of thing. More than a brother.

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All right. I know. But someone was brought up that damn.

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No, they I think because they know that I love it. Yeah, I'll find it. But I'm a huge supporter

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of trans people, trans women playing women's sports, because I want I want men that turned

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women to win all the Olympic medals. I want to bring back the patriarchy baby. I want

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men to have all of it. We got a king in England. I think I think stand up comedy should be

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an Olympic sport. It's a it's a real it's a real like good art. Yeah. Yeah. And then

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like for the other countries, they should translate it all to English. It might it might

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be the hardest thing to do. Yeah. I will I will actually yeah, you wouldn't I guess

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someone in like Turkey would find like, they'd kind of go wow, we wow, wow, and then like

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say their own jokes that make sense in their own culture. Yeah. But okay, so I guess we

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can't do stand them. Why are we doing sports with other countries? Well, that's to kind

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of, you know, bring everyone together and then we beat all of them and make them sad.

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So that's the reason we participate. It's got to show our dominance. We force them all

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to come and then Russia gives her real steroids and get kicked out. But then China, they have

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so many people and they just like, just walk around and find the strongest ones. They tie

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us in the number of gold medals this year. China. Yeah, we beat everyone with total medals.

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Yeah. The mic is is Michael Phillips still in the thing. Michael Phillips. He was a hell

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of a swimmer. I think he did water polo. You guys remember the show pepper and yes pepper

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and pepper and I think I was like a baby is one in a million like 16. I don't remember

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the show. I just remember the song, but it was probably really good. Did you watch a

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rocket power growing up? What? What the fuck is that? What is that? I don't even know what

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that is. I watch a lot of rock. What did you watch? Sam? I am Sam. I want. Yeah. No,

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no, no, no, no, I watched I Carly. I car. I watched like Drake and Josh spin off of I

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Carly. Yeah, crazy. Yeah. Yeah. The shows where kids got molested on them. Yeah. Honestly,

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when I found that out about all those shows, I just thought my child was ruined. There's

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is a buggy. That was I Carly when the producers Nickelodeon were, you know, doing bad things.

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Yeah. Well, she came back. So she obviously Amanda though. Amanda show. Oh, she didn't

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know that she was not the dancing lobsters were sick. I yeah, that was funny. I like

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the Amanda buying show. She was like a virtuoso. She was so ready to be famous and then they

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just, you know, really hurt her. Sad. Yeah. Yeah, what happened? She started saying like

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I like eggs. Oh, yeah. We're in the girls room was about the girls bathroom. And then

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there was one girl that was mentally handicapped. I like I love that. I like eggs. Yeah. That

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was like a recurring thing. It was pretty cool. I was in high school. It was in my

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zeitgeist. I would walk in the bathroom and the boys room and maybe I don't know people

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liked it as much as on the show. So yeah. And I've noticed in the doing it though in

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the news. They've been saying the word Cinco Fanta lot. Mm hmm. They've been saying what

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which news Cinco every news they were calling like like Matt Gates like us like a like a

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Trump Cinco Fanta. I'm like no one's ever used that word. He's ever Bob Keen. So I

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think Bob Keen is running the deep state. Oh, Bob Keen called me a vapid Cinco Fanta.

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He doesn't he doesn't know me like that. He doesn't know me like that. But I would love

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to buy him a tracksuit. Like a Brian Crow. Oh, no. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I do know him.

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I do know him. But do I know know him? No, no. He's a big no. I is a big no. I heard

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he's a good engineer or whatever. They're actually you got fire from his job. Oh, see,

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probably not probably a bad engineer. WTF. Whoa, that girl. Yeah, I like that one. So

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how about this? Santa Claus is God. Oh, change my mind. You change what change my mind.

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Santa Claus is God. Yeah, Santa Claus is God. Change my mind. He is not God. If anything,

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he is Satan because he gives the kids the kids what they want what they desire. And

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he believes that it's you have to be good to get what you karmically get back in materialistic

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form. He gives the bad kids. Yes. Yeah, but the satanic it's cool. He's not. Yeah. And

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he's on the North Pole. He doesn't. Well, the poor kids get nothing. But yeah, though

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it's no, I deliver cold to all the poor kids. I've been I'm part of charity. We bring cold

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to all the poor kids. I don't know. It's a communist argument. They're like different

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Santa Claus is to from different places of the world. If you're talking about the American

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Santa Claus. Yes, he is basically our Jesus because it helps the economy. It helps motivate

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young kids to work. But if it's Yeah, yeah, it's like what's St. Nick. St. Nick. That's

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the same person. Right? Yes. But what about Chris Kringle?

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Yeah, Chris Kringle. Chris Pringles. Yeah. He does. Paul Farrakhan. Oh, yes. Oh my god,

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that's my Santa Claus. Yeah, yeah, he just brings you to him though. You don't like write

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a letter to like God. Well, you he makes a list and he checks it twice to make sure that

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it's not your nice if you're sinful or good. And if you're bad, he gives you a coal. And

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then I also started a charity to make sure all the poor kids get cold. But they only

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get they only get half the proceeds, which is like his t shirt sounds go to win. Yeah,

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they'll be the funniest, funny as charity ideas pass out. Fucking cold. All the kids

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that don't get gifts. He's bring him coal. Oh my gosh, kids that get gifts. But yeah,

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his t shirt, he sells t shirts for Parkinson's to I don't know raise something about it.

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Yeah, he keeps half the money because it's kind of his own side hustle. So I guess I

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just want to know if you get a lot of sure from him. I think I threw it though. How to

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be mean? Paul Favar. Did you know was it better called Paul? Yeah, I has the phone on it.

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I liked it. I liked it. But I it was kind of I have this. I wore it as a gym shirt.

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And then someone was like, it was them. Paul. Yeah, Paul Favar shirt for Parkinson's. If

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someone said that about looking hate that he keeps all the money for sure. No, well, he

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gives him what he says inside. Husband about to shoot me. No, he keeps all the money. You

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told me the high closed doors. Yeah, he told me he said I keep it all. He like changes

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the disease every year. Yeah, he's like for COVID this time. Oh, I think if in them half,

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he's doing the work, he's investing in it, they get half. That's a fair shake for I told

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him one time want to do that. Sorry. Wait, I'll go. I told him one time, you should call

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the shirt better call Saul, not better called Paul, right? He didn't laugh and you don't

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follow me on Instagram. We don't want to. This is this is a while. Okay, well then listen

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to this. He's a lawyer. He knows I would be two months later. Jason said the same thing

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and he laughed. Because Jason knew I did that and he was like, he was like, you know, Max

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said the same thing to you and he didn't laugh like a couple of months ago. And he was like,

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who? Yeah, so I was like, you know, who I am, Paul Farrakhan. So big time. Yeah, what

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charity would you guys make a shirt for? I don't bring cold pork kids. I've always been,

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I guess a UNICEF guy, but you're you're UNICEF UNICEF. Yeah, it's about it tries to help

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kids become UNICEF and struggling. Yeah, I think that every kid in their life should

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to get to get gap year and also transition at least once.

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You're very I did like improv for kids in hospitals. Pretty much the same thing. What's

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that like annoying acting? Some improv? Yeah, improv. I don't really know what it is. You

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never did it. You guys never did improv. See, I feel like what you're doing improv there

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though is way different. Like you did a human good thing. It's hard for me to understand

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no, it's not a good thing. They call improv a bunch of kids kind of what people call improv.

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I've been doing for 31 years. Yeah, but but have you got that's like a genuine human thing

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that everyone should know how to do and provides like a conversation on the spot. Well, that's

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my but I've been doing comedy for 31 years. Amazing. So proud of you. Anyway, I don't

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need to go to class second second city. I'm already on fifth city accepted that Mac thinks

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he's level five level. Wait, what level? Oh, wait, you got promoted levels. I don't

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know what I am. I don't want to know what level I am. What you're like, well, stop.

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Just tell me the levels. Just tell me that. No, don't fucking know. Don't label me. Well,

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level five is like Pat. So level level four is like Louis CK, like Dave Chappelle, like

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the people the ones who people think are the best. She's so but then level five is one

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level above that. It's like where it's so not funny that it's really funny, you know,

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level three is the one you want to be. You're well, you're really well to one or some maybe

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zero maybe a half. No, it's just I feel like we have to be one and a half. Alex isn't as

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used to you as I am. Mac will think he's funnier. I mean, sometimes you'll just, you know, do

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a whole thing and keep going and over you. You're up to you and we want to give you space

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to talk. Yeah, we need to sometimes we're on Adderall. I think I'm not Mac might be

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on Xanax, which might relax his senses. But either ways, I like when told him like, stop.

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Well, I was it seemed like it was a stalemate because you can have this if you want to.

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Oh, oh, shit. Yeah, I totally forgot about this. I'm not. I'm not sure what I'm supposed

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to touch on this table. You can touch anything. But oh, should we show the coins? We just

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want to and this is happening. Can I can I hit it like whenever I'm just gonna hit it

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whenever you should hit it when you need to tend chaos chaos. If you just hit it like

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randomly all the time, people are going to turn off listening to the firecast order means

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shut the fuck up. But no, but if you have something to say and you can't get it through

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that has hit it a few times. Okay, say order order. All right. And everybody. Those are

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the rules. Alex. But yeah, so well, I found this gem on Amazon or team or something. I

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got that. Oh my god. Jacob the jeweler, Jacob the jeweler. Jacob the jeweler. Either guy

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who makes like jewelry for all the famous rappers and stuff. His name is Jacob. That's

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not true. I went to Jake. Look it up. 25,000 on the way to Kanye. I don't have my phone

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in here. Like Kanye's Kanye talks about Jacob on it in the songs. Oh, was like you went

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to Jacob. Okay. And the song diamonds forever. He talks about it. Yeah. So all right. A lot

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of urban music lyrics. Okay. Yeah, they call me I say urban ironic. They call me Kurt or

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Bain. Not. Yeah, more like Kurt cocaine. Nice. That's also ironic. Okay. We know we're this

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is bad comedy podcast iconic. Yeah. She might have to go to level two. But yeah, so Mac

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got this coin collection and knowing coin shortage. You probably probably appreciate

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that. I'm appreciate it. And I feel like you'll probably like what can I touch it now? All

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right. You can't cough on it. Yeah, don't cough on it. So I sort of wash your hands.

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Oh, it's really funny. Does this money actually go to this dude to the to that Donald. Jacob

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is gonna get a piece of it for sure. 24 karat gold. Yeah, maybe Paul Farver. I'll be I'll

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be checking that again before we leave. Make sure you didn't try to make sure you didn't

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try to get a coin surplus. Yeah, we know how many are in there. Were you like when you

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saw that those were available? Those names were you like, Oh, I'm about to change my

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identity. No, because sometimes I would look at just handles on Instagram and be like,

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this might be just because I can't believe this is available. The coin shortage was a

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real scare. I was more afraid of that than I got. But I was so surprised. I'm like a

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bad boy comedy on all all players. No, I'm not. No, I was just like, Well, all right,

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it was like my spam originally. Really? Yeah. And then I deleted my like normal account.

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And I was like, I could just like post on here. And that's what happened. And that's

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the story of my Instagram account. I why how many how much money I mean, probably $80,000

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dollars. No, you fucking what 25 bucks. If you're listening to listening on audio, she's

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looking at my gold collectible Trump coins. Guys, can I take it out of the no, no, no,

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you can. Okay, that might just have it might scratch it. I don't know, man. We just want

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I got those before before he won too. So I mean, I was I was I'm just a good at the

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betting markets. No, it's like, all right. Just know like Alex is you basically like

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the ethical person. She's going to be our voice of reason at times. And she voted for

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whoever you wanted her to vote for. We're just trying to say let's go around and not

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I'm having a panic attack. Unlike my professors are watching they're being like, Oh, well,

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let's be real. Well, that's where I'm trying to just I'm in college, man. Yeah, I'm gonna

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get fucking canceled. And then see them looking at Donald. I like I don't like him. See, I

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don't like him. What does that say about our society?

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That's like, well, you also got to say, you also, but you don't want to be a test. Maddox

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yesterday. The other way to know I can't I can't speak about my real life on here. You

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got to say free Israel free Palestine like Ukraine Russia. Yeah. No, I like the world

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and like I just wish like people could stop hurting each other. Your anti genocide. Yeah,

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that's Trump's platform is that's Trump's platform is peace in Ukraine Russia. We're

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not trying to convert Alex. We're just saying yeah, I just don't want you to feel I'm not

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even allowed to vote. So fuck fuck it. Well, maybe that's not even allowed. Honestly, you

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probably could. It's pretty easy just to fake it. It's like if you just you would know

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right. They wouldn't even take my idea. I wrote down my name and stuff. And then and then

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I wrote in Donald Trump. What was your name like? Which time? Pickle? What time where

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pickle weasel pickle weasel back in line a few times. That's Russia shooting. No, I'm

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like, dude, I'm Polish. Okay. I'm like next. Well, no one wants Poland. Let's be real.

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Yeah. I wanted well, no. Yeah. I don't think he wants to keep going. I think that he kind

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of wants peace. And then Friday's going to happen. We're just like trying to say Alex

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is not endorsing this. I and Supreme Leader. I am like, I'm just like here for good vibes.

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Well, I have no credibility in politics. Please. It's oh my God, shut up. I literally talk

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about Trump. No. Yeah, she yeah, dude. I'm like, Oh my God, please. Okay, fine. Why don't

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you change subjects? Let's take a bite out of comedy. All right. So what you guys bit

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what you've been up to in comedy? Just been thinking a lot about how to talk about politics

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and yeah. Yeah, sometimes people are like, should I talk about religion instead? What

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do you guys want? Let's talk about religion. Yeah. What do you get? What if God was real

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what they're doing is it's pretty real. I'd say that. Yeah, they're not really pals with

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this. Last time it wasn't so real. Yeah. But now they're the ones doing the holocausting.

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I guess you could say. Yeah. Okay. Well, I when I've been working on what I've been

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working on is I've been I've been doing a lot of just like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm

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like, it wasn't a sound. No, what I've been working on is I've been I've been doing a

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lot of jar comedy. What I put things in jars and say that it's like a spell. Oh, wow. Yeah.

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What do you mean? Like, you know, like, I don't know. I have like a coin jar. Yeah.

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No, no, no, no, like when you put, I don't know, like, let's say, like you have a jar

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or a pocket. No, it's like you have a jar and then you have like, not in it. And then

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you put like things in it and then you seal it off and then you tell people that's like

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a love jar, or you put common it and then you put money in it and then you say that's

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a money jar. And then you put common money and then and and then you put food in it and

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then you say that's a diet jar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then yeah, well, no, no, no, I don't

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have them. Those are the jokes. Where do you get all this comfort? Check please. But I

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go I you know, I walk around with a jar during my set and I say this. And yeah, and then

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I hand the jar over to that's my crowd work. So we've been needing an alt person on the

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pod. Oh my god, I took out my septum ring a year ago. My septum. Oh, really? Yeah. You

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took it out. Yeah. Your septum should I put it back in? That's the bull ring. I put it

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back in. It was making my nose fucked up. I never liked bull ring. I enjoy I enjoy it.

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I enjoyed it. It did feel a little weird. I did feel like like a like a bicycle. Yeah,

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like half machine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, I was I was an art school

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kid and then I was like, and then yeah. And then I was like, wait, this is fucking this

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is like boring. How many how many colleges have you gone to? Are you like three genius?

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No, are you like it? They're all TV. That's film and and I'm doing like I'm doing one

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for sustainability. Well, I'm doing another one for political science. Oh, no, I'm joking.

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This is a lie. This is all lie. I'm not going to college. I was saying sustainability. Yeah,

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I don't think that's what no, no, sustainability. You put everything in a hole and then it just

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like goes back into the earth because like the fungus or whatever. It's not garbage.

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It's compost. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a fun guy. Yeah. I it's like a fun guy in

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the comedy scene. I say, yeah, I'm a fun guy. People call me a cancer. People call me

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cancer. The college knows what you got herself into. She does. I think I do. I knew we were

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gonna take a bite out of comedy. No, no, I'm sorry. I keep staring at fucking Joe.

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This is a scary good fuck out of Joe. Banana. Life size room is a little overstimulating.

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So many like men in their 30s. Oh, God. 40 maybe. No.

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Me and Mac are 31 but what? Let's get red. No, no. We need the blue one to help. The

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blue one calms Dylan down. Well, the orange one is a good happy mood. No, that's like

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a electricity. Yeah, very. No, this one's like a warm feeling. You know, yeah, it feels

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like a river. If you're listening, you should watch on video. Actually, you can't even see

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the color change on video. So maybe don't get the blue doesn't look at all different.

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No. Yeah, it's the exact same. Yeah. So wait, so are you in school or in not school? Do

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you want me to joke or lie or dogs? Be an actual person. Make up. Okay, I can say yes

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to that. I don't got to stay like the class. So I go to right college. Wrong college, my

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opinion. Oh, it's like a pyramid and Norwich. I don't know what the fuck was. I don't like

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that. That's bringing me back to when I worked in a factory. No, I don't want to do laugh

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back. No, I know Norwich. You know, yeah, the mall next to the hit mall. Another mall.

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Yeah, they have a big gym. Yeah, they have a well, I think it's now a fitness. I don't

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know what the fuck happened to export. I wait, it's not export. It's not export anymore.

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I want my membership back. Please, please God, I've played less. I've snicked no money

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in my fucking face. I think they exported it. They fuck. Yeah, it's not even 24 hours

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anymore. When am I supposed to go like workout? When did you normally go at like like five

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a.m. Like I go manically in the middle of the like night because what when it's empty.

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Yeah. And like literally just I fucking you just get really stoned and then you just like

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go nuts and no one's like looking at you. No one's like sweating and coughing near you.

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I like when it's party time. No, no, all the hot chicks and everyone's just pumping on

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here and I'm like, yeah, check out. I'm about to max 800 pounds. No, I'm not. What's this

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squat? Can you spot me? Like I'm not asshole. Yeah, I know I like I literally like I literally

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will like wait there for three minutes and be like, Hey, do you have like how many how

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many more sets do you have? And they're like, Oh, I don't like three more. Yeah, or they're

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like as many as I want. Yeah, yeah, and they and they have like, you know, the whole gear

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on and they fucking have the chalk and the belt like die. It is. Yeah, gloves. Oh my

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god. When they're too many combinations like that or whatever it's like, like get a real

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hobby. Yeah, it's like when can I use this? You can't really next and then they're like,

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I do unlimited reps. Really like learn how to learn how to fucking like why is your drive

287
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how come your back can't handle this one? You're putting a thing on you. Yeah, yeah,

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it's like, Oh, you're gonna go work out for the bill for the billionth time. Oh my god.

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Yeah, there's this oh my god, you're so fucking cool. Fucking like flip over tire or something

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like do so like I like yeah climb a fucking mountain. You're gonna go to the export with

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your with your bros and you're gonna help help them out. Thank you. Into the in the

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bathroom. That's that's why are you doing that toxic masculinity? Yeah, that's why that's

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why I go to the gym. I put on a put on a girl wig and I go to the women's. Yeah, like

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literally my my excerpt takes so long in the bathroom with his friends and it's just

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no it's just like it's so annoying. Like men. There's come there's come with the strap

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and everything. We're a cup. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not a crop. It's not a cup.

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You're a cup. Yeah, you had a whole duffel bag. You want to show me I don't know why

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like you wouldn't fucking show me. You need a towel to snap kind of snap hits hits your

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friends ass and say no man we're just kind of rambunctious in this locker room that come

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right. I remember the coaches used to cup check us. But what they would do is to make

301
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sure that you have a cup on your supposed to but nobody wanted to wear a cup is yeah

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they're walking by and to hit you in the big white window with the with the stick.

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They would have the lacrosse stick. They're hitting you. They'd hit you and not to the

304
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lacrosse stick. Right. They hurt really bad games. They would calm hand games. Yeah.

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Come at it. Personal tutor. I have I'm so scared to say things. No, no, I feel like

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this is a public episode. I wish I should like yeah I wish I could green light. You'll

307
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get into the groove over time. This is a comedy podcast. I'm like younger. How much younger

308
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are you? I don't know. She's in. Yeah. Well, 24. I had a fucking I really I'm not joking.

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You're not much younger. I know. I know. But I'm like, what's that say? No, I know. I know.

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But like I'm like not in the like I'm like scared. I have a career. I don't need a like

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real house. Like I live. Alex, no one listens to this. I'm not saying that people will listen

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to this or no one. I'm just saying that. No, okay. Well, no, it's also your comedy podcast

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where you're playing a character right now an extension of yourself where you might say

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the opposite of what you think. Yeah, me too. I'm definitely a character and nothing I say

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00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:37,760
is actually true. I was like nervous kind of felt vulnerable talking and and then after

316
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:43,160
a little while it was like, Oh, like I'm just being myself on. Yeah, what kind of career

317
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:49,640
are you afraid of? Wait, so should I should I lie or should I be honest? Sometimes you

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sometimes you do a bit in real life as I do. I see real stuff and fake stuff and then if

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00:34:55,160 --> 00:35:01,000
you will ask. Yeah, but but that's the thing afterwards. Yeah. Well, I'm great. I brought

320
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,920
it back and I forgot to take it off. I do it my phone. It's called bad. It's called bad

321
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:10,280
comedy podcast. So it's an ironic podcast. You can tell people so obviously, okay, I'll

322
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:14,600
just like go joke. You can go in because I might get kicked out of my fucking college.

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00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:19,880
No, you don't get kicked out. Please don't kick me out of you have to realize like your

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00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,520
college. Your college is not going to listen to this scared is because of the administration

325
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:33,320
we've been living in. Sue me. Okay, no, I'm just saying the free speech one, the one

326
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that everyone's favorite color. Black. I guess. You like white. She likes white. Is

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white your favorite color? I'm wearing as like a silver, actually, honey. My favorite

328
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:56,280
is rainbow. That's how okay I am. So that's not a color and rainbow is not a color. Black

329
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is an absolute shade. Black's not a color. Rainbow is multiple colors. I'm speaking in

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the scientific in terms. She's color blind if it's black. I'm hacking it. Black cancel

331
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police. Black's not a color. Is there black on the rainbow flag? There actually is a

332
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version with brown and black at the bottom of it. Yeah, it's like the BIPOC. Yeah, yeah,

333
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:26,520
yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is. Yeah, I was on a I was on a stupac. It's like that some white

334
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,600
guys making money off. I guess the whole time is BIPOC. I thought it was two pack. Yeah,

335
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:38,280
I'm pretty sure he was by sexual or by annual or something by annual, I think you would

336
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:44,280
go gay twice a year and it would really put a rift. Yeah, I'm biggie Smalls was kind of

337
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an oxy kind of an oxy kind of a oxy. So I'm like fucking turning red dude. Biggie Smalls

338
00:36:50,920 --> 00:37:06,440
is kind of an oxy moron. Explain that. Yeah, explain. He did it. Do P duty would be oxy

339
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more. He probably considered that someone talked him out of it. Like, don't do don't do P duty.

340
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He's like, man, I really am P duty, though. That's like my actual real like, like legal name.

341
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:23,560
You're been to China. I've seen a lot of tick talks about it.

342
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:31,960
About China. Yeah. What do they say? It's cool. It's just really polluted. Yeah. But it's like,

343
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:36,600
but it's kind of like Blade Runner over there. What do you mean? Like we have Wesley Snipes there.

344
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:54,760
That's Blade. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I play like, like a horn? Just one horn. I got you.

345
00:37:55,560 --> 00:38:03,640
It's just one horn, please. Okay, here. Hold this. No, like an air horn. Okay. We did not

346
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:12,440
dry fire that either. I'm glad that so it's good. I dry fired it. Not. How do I I'm holding a gun

347
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right now the top back. This is sick. Yeah, that's right. Oh my gosh. I saw some cops on bikes

348
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like yesterday. Not even real cops. Yeah, that's pretty gay. And they had like guns in their holsters.

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And I was like, Oh my God, just imagine like dude, I want to go see the tree, the tree at

350
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Millennium Park. What is it? Just a tree? It's a Christmas tree. It's a Christmas tree. It's a

351
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Christmas tree. It's a Christmas. I hope our paper picked a pack of pickle peppers. A pack of pickle

352
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peppers. Peter. If you pick the pick the pick the pick. New York, New York, New York. Brown. Fuck you.

353
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Peter. I can. I'm very like you have your team the bean at the I oh you mean the cloud gate.

354
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:05,400
The bean is probably the best thing in Chicago. You know, they have to pat you down it goes

355
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:09,480
before you see it really. Yeah. Well, I've that's because I've tried to explode it before.

356
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:19,400
Yeah, I think like too many people like try to bomb. I want to plant C4 under it. I was trying. Yeah.

357
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I was by the energy drink because it reminds me of dynamite. Yeah.

358
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TNT is kind of like dynamite.

359
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I just feel like I'm like I'm looking at us under the microscope right now. Yeah, you are. You're

360
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:39,800
always thinking I know sometimes it's like when we have a guest I think about the where's this

361
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:46,600
person feels. No, it's it's it's it's it's you want to like sign it to you know she's doing great.

362
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I'm not Jake Pita.

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She's also not a guest. She's a probationary co host. Dude, I had a okay some tea on Jake

364
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:04,120
Pita. He was like hitting me up nonstop through the DM. He's oh really? No, no, I thought he was

365
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:10,120
hitting you up to or something. He's just very active on social media. He's just comments a lot

366
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:18,280
on stuff. No, I've been sometimes me and him are it's like he I feel like he's the loudest person

367
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:25,720
on Facebook because he's the you know can't hear. Yeah, he has a voice on faith. Yeah, yeah. But

368
00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:31,480
also you can say you know you can love someone and you can be honest about who they are. It's part

369
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:37,320
of their character. What does he say? Jake is very active. I love you. Yeah, yeah, like two years ago

370
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:43,560
I had to block him because he like couldn't read. He was like I he like couldn't read between the

371
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:49,880
lines like I think he's not blind. Right. Yeah, well I don't know. Braille definitely blind is

372
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:59,640
the kind of the same thing right. Love is color blind actually. Yeah. Thank you so much for that.

373
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:06,040
I feel blessed. She should really have that. I think she needs it more than another horn.

374
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,080
But maybe just for Jake Peter she needs a

375
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:16,120
Jacob Pete Braille Jacob Peter. If you're listening to this, I'm sorry that I blocked you but I

376
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:24,600
ignored your DMs like 12 times and they were all very creepy and I did not feel the same and I'm

377
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:32,040
sorry. I don't know. He was probably like yeah. He was like like he's probably like that fucking

378
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:41,160
bitch like blocked me. They see a smooth dog. Yeah. She deleted her. I had a smooth.

379
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:49,160
And not saying it. I'm like I'm like short. But every right here you gotta be real. I think

380
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:56,680
about it. No, not not with other people. He's like yeah. I've been you know I start being real.

381
00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:06,600
Just be you know when people fucked up things. Look okay maybe if you're funnier I would have

382
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:14,440
not blocked you. Oh well you know what he could say so much about me. I'm not even like Jake

383
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:22,600
Peter a lot. No okay. He always does new material so he could be he could be killing with all these

384
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:28,360
different especially if he did a whole set of deaf jokes. Yeah my first year I did it. He doesn't

385
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:33,480
want to lose every week. But do you think that the messages he was sending because I think he's very

386
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:41,160
kind of outgoing and it might not be in a creepy way. He might just be genuinely friendly messaging

387
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:46,440
you a bunch. Well but definitely not reading between the lines. Yeah I don't know. I like don't

388
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:51,000
remember and I don't want to like claim anything. It's possible. You felt like he's trying to. I'm

389
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:57,560
a people yeah I'm a people pleaser. I won't I won't do it unless I have to. Yeah so or I don't

390
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:02,680
know maybe I was just like in a fucking weird time. That was a weird time in my life. Sometimes

391
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:11,240
so I don't know. Maybe I'll block you. Give me another chance. Because he would be the one that

392
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:16,440
goes out extra. I'm not touching you. DM him. Hey baby. I'm not touching you. Not even as a friend.

393
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:20,840
We're not even hugging but we could be acquaintances from five miles apart. Okay I promise you Jake

394
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:28,440
would respect that. Yeah he would say oh completely that's that's okay. I can't hear you. Bring him

395
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:33,800
out. He's like one of the nicest people I know in comedy but he might be like yeah he would keep

396
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:40,040
messaging you because he wants to tell you something and maybe it's like what's up shoddy.

397
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:41,800
Yeah shoddy.

398
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:54,120
So he was good shod. Okay okay I feel that no he's a jet he was nice. He is nice. He is so he is so

399
00:43:54,120 --> 00:44:00,040
nice that I blocked him. For some reason I don't remember why I'm sorry. Well that's probably

400
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:04,840
because you're ableist. You're ableist. You hate. Well I think that's why it took me so long.

401
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:10,040
I think he's dating an Asian one now. So you would have blocked him way earlier if he was not deaf.

402
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,360
He's dating an Asian woman.

403
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,400
Asian. I don't think he is anyone else.

404
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:29,800
But no we love Jake Peta baby. Yeah we were asking him like is being deaf. I think it was like

405
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:41,080
we had some of our questions. Well we brought in on Jake Peta a long time ago. We got white

406
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:47,560
dry raceboards. So we could just write on it and ask some questions. You should do that for this.

407
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:52,680
Yeah yeah. It'd be tough. Like instead of talking we should just write it down. Tough for the audio

408
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:59,880
people. Yeah I could translate. I'm trans but I'm never late. I'm a later.

409
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:06,920
You know translator alligator. What's the thing about alligators. They're kind of like

410
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:11,800
where they just they always have with these allegations and you know do you believe them.

411
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:23,880
Alligate. Yeah. You believe all alligators. In Florida in Florida that it should be the instead of the

412
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:33,320
like the Florida. Whenever a girl blocks me I say oh this is really see you later. Oh did that

413
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:42,520
like trigger you or something. I see now I see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's the no I just love

414
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:48,920
Jake Peta. And my third eye is open. What's the state level of attorney general general. No what

415
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:56,920
are they called assistant attorney like a state of attorney attorney general of no it's not states

416
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:05,320
have it's called something else country. I'm just thinking about the bigger word here.

417
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:16,520
He's I've been top lawyer in the state. You just can the top top prosecutor of the state.

418
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:22,360
Yeah because I have something that has to do with alligators and that word but I forgot that word.

419
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:27,960
This is really important for the folks. The state attorney general is a specific one. It's not

420
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:32,280
called attorney general. Is it like the general blah blah blah blah. No it's not the general the

421
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:36,200
word general is not in there. Attorney might be an attorney. I have to put this right down.

422
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:52,680
Of a state. Maybe it could be. Hold on a second.

423
00:46:56,040 --> 00:47:03,560
Oh my this is just bang bang bang bang. Exactly. I love guns so much. I just like will never

424
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:10,200
probably shoot one because I can't even drive properly sober but you can vote like I can vote

425
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:18,760
I can't vote but under a pseudonym. So yeah did you like dress up or oh I was yeah so

426
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:29,240
long story. I was supposed to be an angler fish like those that creepy fish from Halloween.

427
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:36,040
Wait the one with the light bulb. Yeah I was like yeah right but I like was in New York and I don't

428
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:42,200
I was going to do face pain. I was going to go all ham and then I was like oh I don't want to

429
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:47,640
fucking spend all that money so then I just ended up wearing a bikini and a mask and everyone was

430
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:52,840
like what the fuck are you supposed to be. Like I had like the little light thing I like made it

431
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:58,200
like last minute but it wasn't I only had tape like my friends didn't have glue in their apartment

432
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:04,040
so I was like okay I guess I'm not gonna have the light bulb thing so no one knew what the fuck I

433
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:09,720
was so I was just like a I couldn't figure it out. A plane. Ow. You're like I'm a sexy. Wait so

434
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:17,960
wait so you did the fish thing. I not really like I was just a superhero. I guess and everyone and

435
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:22,680
like people kept asking me what that always fucking happens every Halloween like I half

436
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:29,400
ass like a costume and then everyone just asked me like what I'm supposed to be. It's tough. I dressed

437
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:34,680
up as Dan Marino for the past 10 years. I just wear a Dan Marino jersey. You also made people

438
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:41,320
call him Dan college. Yeah people call me Don Marino. What's up Don. I had a couple different

439
00:48:41,320 --> 00:48:48,360
names. Oh there's a. Alex despises this character. Well I had a couple different characters that I was.

440
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:53,880
I was pretty popular in college. You know the University of Iowa. I was not. People would call

441
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:59,640
me Pat McAllister. That was one of my. Pat McAllister. Pat McAllister. Pat McAllister. But he's like

442
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:05,880
what's up my name is Pat McAllister and my dad's a lawyer so you have to let me into the bar. Oh

443
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:11,400
that's a good one. That would have fucking like you know who my fucking dad is. If you're like

444
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:18,040
what's up pot. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Yeah during that era people would find that so fucking funny.

445
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:27,960
She's saying it's done. No. All the bros. I mean we did we did add you for a little Gen Z

446
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:34,120
flare so everyone all the Gen Z's. All the Gen Z's listening are like goddesses. She's telling me to

447
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:39,640
shut her up. Oh yeah. Wait what what's the next generation after Gen Z. That's the last one. The

448
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:44,760
Alphas the Alphas the Alphas the Alphas and then the Segmas and then the Omega's and the

449
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:53,240
Beta's and the we know Beta and then Omega and then Beta's. Oh yeah. They're probably gonna be pretty

450
00:49:53,240 --> 00:50:03,240
Beta's pretty Beta. I can't clock this gun clock clock it. Yeah I got clocked. It's kind of good.

451
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:09,400
It's called cocking a gun. 65 cock a gun. This is really fun. This would be like a fidget toy for

452
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:15,880
you. 20 years. That's how I use it. I've never taken a shooting except for off my back deck.

453
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:22,840
Oh shoot. This one. Yeah on the 4th of July a few years back. Oh okay okay okay. Yeah I was gonna

454
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:28,680
say how could you get away with that. I don't know. It's probably still within the statute of

455
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:36,600
limitations. Thank you so much. What blend is it? I know. Dark horse. It's a little bit oaky you know.

456
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:42,200
With hints of. When people say oaky it's like what do you eat oak in trees. No this is.

457
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:47,160
In the face no sense right. Premium. But my mom always says that she my mom goes to a shitty

458
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:51,720
ass bar and they're like what kind of chardonnade you have like we have white wine or red wine.

459
00:50:51,720 --> 00:51:00,920
She's like oh well I'll do white wine or black. They'll be like they'll say we have like a chardonnay

460
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:05,480
and whatever the fuck the other white wine is. They bring them in. And then she'll be like is

461
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:09,560
the chardonnay. They'll say they have one type of chardonnay and she'll ask a bunch of questions

462
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,840
about it even though she knows she's gonna get the chardonnay anyway. You're dumbass.

463
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:17,480
She's like is it oaky or sweet. Your mom should just carry a flask like everyone else. You know my

464
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:23,720
dad says they're divorced but it says when they walk around with a waiter asks what they want.

465
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:33,160
Off the wine menu says ABC anything but chardonnay. Nice. And so. Wow. Does he have like a cigar in

466
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:39,960
his mouth while he says that. Yeah. Well that's that's a dad joke. I love that. He's a comedy.

467
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:46,120
Yeah he's a he's a comic. He got a lot of laughs or a live show. Really. Yeah. Oh I want to see his

468
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:52,360
comedy. Yeah he got the biggest laugh on our live show. Yes. Zach Albers. One word. Because we did

469
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:58,200
during the live show we have a comic to a set and then we do a little little podcasting with them.

470
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:03,880
Yeah. And Albers is doing a little bit of crowd work. Zach Albers and he he asked people who their

471
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:12,920
favorite rapper was. He was my dad but that's an M&M. Oh no. Oh no. Everyone is cracking. Oh no.

472
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:17,960
This is M&M. And then they asked the black guy and he said Lil Wayne. I was like this is amazing

473
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:23,720
because I'm a huge Lil Wayne fan. You see that right there. I have the book of Wayne. It's my bible.

474
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:29,560
I was joking about the Santa Claus being god thing. It's Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne. He says what and

475
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:36,680
huh. And why. You know he's god. He's basically. Are you thinking of Lil John. Oh fuck. I'm

476
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:43,240
fucking fucking fucking fucking. No Lil John. No Lil John does the same thing. Why because they're

477
00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:54,040
both black. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You mix up a little

478
00:52:54,040 --> 00:53:00,440
Wayne and whoopee gold. Okay. Well. I'm sorry. You have to confess your sins. Yeah. You mixed up

479
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:07,320
two black guys. I'm having a panic attack. Okay. So she's blaming it on her mental health. Yeah. No.

480
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:14,600
No. No. It's all my fault. Sorry. Urban community. Let's. No. She's a DEI hire so we can't hire her.

481
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:22,840
No. I. You just go to the urban community. Oh my god. It would be so funny if I just like actually

482
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:32,680
like queved. Yeah. The be gross. That would be funny though. I mean. Ew. Okay. It'd be funny. Yeah.

483
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:40,600
It'd be so fun. It'd be like so funny if I like said a good show. Yeah. No. That's no. That would be

484
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:46,840
funny. The problem is if you if you if you try too hard then it's not gonna be funny. No. Like I have

485
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:51,960
like a whole story set up and it just ends up. Yeah. So that's exactly what Mac does a lot of the

486
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:58,360
time. I should just like look up Louis said and like just say it word for word. Yeah. Did you see

487
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:07,640
I mean you're a commie but I saw Kamala's like not accepting speech but rejection speech was

488
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:15,960
very very similar to Hillary's rejection speech but we don't want to get is that the Obama voice.

489
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:23,320
Did she do a bomb voice during her concession speech. She does a lot of voices cringe to do a

490
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:28,360
president voice. Well I love president. I've heard a lot of different. I've heard a lot of

491
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:33,240
different Kamala's I've heard. Do you want to hear. You have no shame man. And then I've also I've also

492
00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:42,040
heard. I've also heard. Welcome brothers and sisters. The divine nine. Oh. I've also heard.

493
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:50,680
I've also heard Donald Trump is a terrible guy. No I didn't do it. I didn't say any of that. I was

494
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:57,320
you know that I was prosecutor. Why. And I was born in the middle class. I was middle class.

495
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:03,720
I was born a lower middle class. I was born. Climbed up your boots. And I climbed the ladder.

496
00:55:03,720 --> 00:55:07,800
I was born in the middle class because I'm Lee and I was prosecutor. Yeah. For what.

497
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:14,920
For San Francisco. Oh did you. Did you do. Did you good. Do you. Did you do a good job.

498
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:19,560
I became the rice. The rice president. That's a vice president at China. Oh all right.

499
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:26,520
hierarchy. I really like the minions. The minions. Well let's talk about that. I don't I don't like

500
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:34,120
because there's there's slaves and I'm a big fan of slavery. Oh my god. So I guess I like pro slaves.

501
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:40,200
No I I like when that it's the no you have an iPhone. Join the. Give an iPhone. Stop you're

502
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:46,600
going to talk about how it's like mine by like kids and slaves made. There is a bunch of different

503
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:51,560
slaves slaves of the mines. Do you do stuff for the chips and then slaves putting it together in

504
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:56,520
China with nets around the building for when they jump off. That's why I always like I check my

505
00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:02,600
battery percentage. I spend fighting slavery on my phone. I try to keep it. Yeah. I have an app

506
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:14,760
called Fighting Slavery. It's I guess. Yeah. So. The good fight. I have it. Well I have an app

507
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:22,040
for for finding weed dispensaries. Oh well I'm fighting slavery. You're just looking to smoke

508
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:27,160
pot. Yeah that's also helping. Smoking a reefer while I'm trying to fight the good fight

509
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:33,720
and speaks truth to power. Like. Okay. Explain how the app works. Let's see. Let's see which one

510
00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:40,120
the immigration app. All right. All right. Let's stick with that one. Not one that you brought

511
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:46,120
up this slavery and the slavery. So I go on there and then you kind of stop. So you're

512
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:52,200
just a button. You start your slave owner. No. No. They're slaves. I don't know what you call

513
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:57,400
a group of them. No. It's kind of like a no. You're basically a big echo chamber. We all say slavery

514
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:02,680
is bad. It's like yeah I agree. Yeah. And then I'm like how about what about iPhones and people

515
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:11,240
like well aside from iPhones you know. Well thank God we're on here on these because if I was on an

516
00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:15,800
Android it doesn't the game doesn't. And why. And I'm also good. Androids also give me a

517
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:23,240
worse. Yeah. So we're doing the right thing by having a well. The same Steve. Steve Apple is

518
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:30,920
a good visionary Tim Apple. Steve Apple passed down to Tim. Fuck it. I'll make some iPhones.

519
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:37,960
Do it. Okay Steve. I want to be. No I want to go move to China more like Steve slaves. Steve slaves.

520
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:43,800
That's that's some good alliteration. Yeah. That's what user name on this. No it's not.

521
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:50,040
That's my fourth my fourth account. Yeah. On X. Steve's stand on there for being two races.

522
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:57,880
Whatever that means. Are you a big fan of Steve Bannon. I don't know who that fuck that is.

523
00:57:58,440 --> 00:58:04,360
He's a guy. Are you big. Alex Jones. Yeah. I mean I know of him. I've watched some of him.

524
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:14,520
Yeah. He's hot. No he's he's someone passed. No. You haven't seen him in a while. I had to watch the.

525
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:20,440
This is not a bit. I watched the episode where he covers Hillary Clinton being a reptile.

526
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:26,680
Where he like spits in like Hillary Clinton like fucking well that one is yet to be proven.

527
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:33,720
Like spits. Oh yeah. Water. What is that. Because I was like do people actually believe

528
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:39,880
she's like a reptile. No. Well it's see for me I used to not believe any of that stuff.

529
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:44,920
You don't believe in the reptilian stuff. One by one like Domino's bunch of stuff became real.

530
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:50,920
So now I'm thinking about demons and their connection. I think I stopped at reptiles and

531
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:56,920
stuff. I think everyone has like fluoride in them. That's the problem. Well no. It's a fact that

532
00:58:56,920 --> 00:59:02,440
they put fluoride in the water for tooth decay. That's a fact. Flam was that. And to make this

533
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:07,320
this fuck you. That was before they had fluoride in my toothpaste and stuff. They're like yeah it

534
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:13,160
should be a toothpaste. I don't think the dentist can fluoride. I don't know if he would try to put

535
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:18,440
that in our water. Yeah. Can fluoride would be pissed if we took it out of the water. No but

536
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:24,200
what was having him as a dentist. We still have it in the water. I would love. What the fuck was

537
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:29,080
I talking about. We still have to tell about Hillary. What did she put in the water. Yeah.

538
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:33,800
Well nothing. Nothing. Nothing. She was giving a speech. She was giving a speech and she was

539
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:40,200
drinking her cup of water and she spat out in her like glass of water some like white fluid

540
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:44,840
and Alex Jones was like that's an egg. That's an egg. That's an egg right there. That's proof

541
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:51,160
that he's a breath. That is Alex. Because no it's not even just Google it. It looks like a

542
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:55,000
can I pee during this podcast. The video of her like passing out and they put her in the van.

543
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,720
I'm going to take a break. Can you play a sound effect. Watch this clip of Alex Jones.

544
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:05,160
You know what was going on with any day. Well yeah. And especially if he takes his shirt off

545
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:10,600
he took a shirt off recently during the election and it was I didn't know that it was going to

546
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:18,120
be like that. I was going to be kind of wholesome. But no yeah. So Hillary basically threw up.

547
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:23,560
I'm happy we saw that live though. The Jones thing. You hated the Steven Crowder thing.

548
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:29,960
He was obviously the best part of it. Yeah. But we got to see that live and then that he replays

549
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:36,760
that on his stuff. That clip. Oh that's good. He also have you seen his Cardi B ad for his

550
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:43,560
No I'm definitely hitting this. No what is his Cardi B ad. Oh he's trying to you know how he

551
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:50,520
always plugs his like supplements. Yeah what does he say. The clip of Cardi B being like oh

552
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:58,440
y'all business puts these like pH balance off because you'd be riding like dirty and words

553
01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:05,800
dicks. Wow. And then he's like I want to tell Cardi B that if you want to have a good pH level

554
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:13,160
in your fat pussy then you can get it. Wow. See he's with the times in the culture. It's very funny.

555
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:22,440
I love just you know just down in a bottle of wine and by myself. How about getting a rooster

556
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:33,480
for the morning. I don't get out of bed for less than one rooster noise. Yeah. Yeah. A million bucks.

557
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:39,000
I feel like a million bucks lately. What do roosters do. Before inflation. Aside from being

558
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:46,120
alarm clock. I guess they're kind of just like you know incubator because we should all become

559
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:51,880
Amish. That's probably what's going to happen now. The Amish there's no autism there. So if we can

560
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:57,480
and it's they don't need alarms on their iPhones. They're roosters. It's like hey I'll wake you up

561
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:01,320
every morning and people are like no we don't need that. They don't need Alex Jones. They have

562
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:06,520
they have some guy who's like crazy in the town. I'm like I'll be a whistleblower for you like

563
01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:11,240
we don't have anything to just become Amish. Yeah. Well they won't take us. You want to become Amish.

564
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:19,240
They're not going to take the autism. There's none in there. Yes. Yeah. They have zero autism.

565
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:24,600
Yeah. Well I'm actually working on a vaccine for yeah. Well autism. We're talking about how

566
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:30,360
roosters are their alarm clocks. So we should we should all have roosters.

567
01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:37,320
Yeah. I want to ride a horse again. That's not a rooster. That's a different. Well no but like if

568
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:42,600
we're going to bring. No I don't want to ride. It's really easy to get a fucking rooster.

569
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:48,920
Why don't you save a cowboy. You buy it off of Amazon. Really. Just go literally Google it.

570
01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:53,640
I've been roost. Well literally Bing dot com. It literally daddy go go go go go go go daddy.

571
01:02:53,640 --> 01:03:03,320
Fuck. I use ask Jeeves. I use ask Jeeves. Ask Jeeves dot what what com. X Jeeves dot

572
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:11,560
that's the black version. X Jeeves. I do ask. It can be better advice depending on the question.

573
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:21,320
I am a good person. Yeah. So Alex I am a good person. Yeah. No you can be in we can vote we're

574
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:26,600
two heels and then yeah yeah you're the rest of the body. You're the good guys. We're just here to

575
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:31,720
be the bad guys. Yeah. And then you're like oh my gosh. If we were in town. Yeah I just have to laugh

576
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:37,800
at everything you guys say. No I do. Yeah. No I don't. What are those. That's bad. That's bad for us.

577
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:43,320
I'm going to ask you the vocabulary of dead ass. How many times you get dead ass.

578
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:49,400
Yeah I saw that clip. I was like wow I got to see one thing. That's awesome. I love that. It was

579
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:57,240
awesome. Well dad. Well why why can I not say dead ass. No you know I know we're welcoming it. So

580
01:03:57,240 --> 01:04:01,720
we're trying to what can I not say. We're trying to grow our Gen Z. Like if I can't you can't say

581
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:08,120
cringe because I was you said cringe like 15 I know but I'm saying what I feel cringe saying

582
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:13,800
it to Alex because I know she's thinking he's still saying cringe that is and then you put

583
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:20,280
another word in there. You threw like eight words at me in one thing earlier. What were they. It was

584
01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:27,240
just like excited. What were they. But it wasn't excited. It was saying I don't know. Thrilled.

585
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:34,840
Yes. Thrilled. That's not like a normal word. I know but you use that on a thought. Thrilled.

586
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:40,040
I didn't mean to hit that one. But when I say no one says that I mean

587
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:45,160
fuck dude how many words are there. So that's why I'm like there's too many words than like

588
01:04:45,160 --> 01:04:50,920
stupid toilet like no that's like a zippity dude as a pity day. But that's a good song.

589
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:58,280
I don't know. Like yeah all those. OK so that's like still well with comedy. Oh God.

590
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:07,480
Yeah. Rest in peace. No this is just this wedding. I was just thinking how much I spent so much

591
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:14,200
time on the Internet. Such an unhealthy amount. How much do I have to spend to always know the words

592
01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:19,720
or where do I have to always look. Where do I have to talk to miners. Well I think yeah I think the

593
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:26,200
effect is there shouldn't be there shouldn't be synonyms. There's one word for every you know

594
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:29,880
there should be one word for everything for each different thing. It should be just one

595
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:34,040
phonic and you just say over and over again. We don't need books with eloquent writing. Let's just

596
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:39,880
have simple. We'll talk native Americans would be like this is like like scare pro. And you

597
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:44,760
know that's how you name scare. Scarecrow. Scarecrow. No yeah. Then they're human beings. Yeah we

598
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:50,760
don't you don't need words like in perpetuity. Oh my God. What's like people say aura but that

599
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:55,800
used to be do you want the same thing. Or it's Cincofant. I don't need that. Rez used to be

600
01:05:55,800 --> 01:06:00,120
Cicofant. Should it be the permanent background music of the podcast. Yeah. No this is I'll

601
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:06,040
keep this going. Wait let me think that I have a note out and I've I've been writing my favorite

602
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:12,840
words. Will you please. Well I think it's Cincofant. It's a bunch of elephants. I won't steal

603
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:20,760
the elephants that are in sync and they go bye bye bye with their trunks. Okay. Yeah. Should I say

604
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:30,520
them or Sam. All right. Pervade words I words that I like pervaded vivacious facsimiles

605
01:06:32,360 --> 01:06:42,600
prescendence. Oh yeah. Thank you. Myopia elation. Perprescendence. Caligua. That's a well that's

606
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:48,200
not a fuck you. That's a person. Fuck you. You know that he made a it's a it's a verb. He made a he

607
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:54,360
made a horse a senator. No that was a Roman emperor. No well it's like they named the thing

608
01:06:54,360 --> 01:07:01,400
after the emperor. He made a he made a horse senator named Kamala Harris. Oh my god. He made

609
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:08,200
some new clothes. Beat it to shebang fruition. You know that Paul Miller has those little

610
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:12,680
shebang. Paul Miller has a very similar list except his words like squeegee.

611
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:21,640
Oh it shows different markets. But I was doing a podcast for Paul Miller and Blake and Bobby

612
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:27,560
Buds. He brought out a list in his words like squeegee and like zip. I'm mad that I stopped on

613
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:33,960
this. It's like a very unsophisticated version of that. Goop. Goop. Is that one of them. But in my

614
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:39,320
in my world in my world none of those words exist. He doesn't want me to know. Zenith. Zenith.

615
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:48,680
Zenith. Zenith. What about him. He's a neat. He's a new Berg. I'm going to do some reaction content

616
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:55,320
to the Hindenburg and do you want some like sound effects to like edit me like reacting. Yeah.

617
01:07:56,520 --> 01:08:02,440
Like oh my gosh that's so cool. And then you roll your eyes and yeah I have I have I have

618
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:11,080
sunglasses. Yeah. Wait. OK. Here are those. You have sunglasses. Wait. Oh you know no gag. No

619
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:16,440
gag. This is from the Vietnam era. Wait. Is that a new. Did you just invent a new slang for Gen Z.

620
01:08:16,440 --> 01:08:23,480
No gag. No gag. Motherfucker. This is from like the normal Americana times when we started doing

621
01:08:23,480 --> 01:08:33,240
modern language. No gag. No no bits. I think you invented that. I did not. That's like no gap but it's with bits.

622
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:45,160
Sorry. So you're going to make us younger. It's like in a lickser of life. You know all the words.

623
01:08:45,160 --> 01:08:51,320
Do you have the founder of youth. You make me feel so young. Yeah. So that's an old person

624
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:57,880
way of saying it. What do the young kids say. Were the new kids. Yeah. I feel your frequencies.

625
01:08:58,520 --> 01:09:03,720
The new kids on the block. What are they saying. I feel your frequencies. I can feel your

626
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:13,160
new kids on the block. Existence hover my bubble. No she's doing this. Tell us the words.

627
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:20,760
Yeah. It's all about feeling feelings. I'm still it's good feelings. They're like feelings or

628
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:29,880
yeah I'm coming. Yeah feelings can. No but that's kind of like the two that's kind of like this.

629
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:41,320
Sometimes. No just keep firing. Just say anything right. No I love feelings.

630
01:09:43,480 --> 01:09:49,320
It's a lot of like yeah yeah yeah it's a lot of like oh this is a this is the part of

631
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:57,480
this is when you do this and then you this is how you remind me of what I really am.

632
01:09:57,480 --> 01:10:03,800
It's not like you say sorry. And then yeah we just say sorry a lot and like more artistic

633
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:12,200
way like ours. He's like I apologize. He's like I really do if you want me to but if it's funny

634
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:19,000
I don't. Yeah. Like okay Michael Cooper you fucking wrote the communist manifesto. Yeah.

635
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:25,400
Dude I'd love to go fishing with you Michael Cooper. Oh so yeah said no one ever. Yeah.

636
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:32,040
Yeah. I fishing makes you feel so bad. Well just imagine it with Michael Cooper.

637
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:35,800
Are you one of the people that makes someone else take the hook up. He's gonna be like yeah

638
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:44,680
you have an iPhone. Okay. Is he have a window pixel. I got worms. I just don't have a cell phone.

639
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:50,280
He just pulls worms like out of his like nose and his butt. He's like yeah. I had a really long

640
01:10:50,280 --> 01:10:56,680
period. I don't need to stop for worms. I got one. I'm like an apple. How you like. I'm

641
01:10:56,680 --> 01:11:01,720
infested with war. I was gonna say a lot of people have parasites. Well some people are

642
01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:07,080
a pair and I ever make them helps. You got it. Yeah. I'm a pair. You should do an episode where

643
01:11:07,080 --> 01:11:14,920
you guys just detox. Have you been on Alex Jones. I have. I know. Are you. Yeah. I am related.

644
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:21,080
That's why that's how it works. Every Alex is related. Her same basis. Really. No. That's true.

645
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:25,800
Obviously. Why. No. I'm pretty sure that. That's Polish. I want to play for you.

646
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:33,720
That was my culture. It's like polka. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know Polish. I used to work in

647
01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:40,200
Portage Park. Yeah. Sausage. Yeah. I'd be like a. My name is Popo. I'm a popo. I'm a popo.

648
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:50,840
I. Yeah. Alex. We like instigator to do something like start doing like voices of other

649
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:58,360
cultures and then you do it once and say well Alex. I don't know. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

650
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:04,920
No. No. No. Like Louie said that he like never did improv and then when he did it like one time

651
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:09,160
he just every idea someone had you're supposed to support it and he would just be like No.

652
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:14,680
That's no. That's not what happened actually. Yeah. That's good. That's what I would do.

653
01:12:15,320 --> 01:12:22,680
Being supportive is not constructive. You can't do it. You need to have constructive criticism.

654
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:26,360
So what I do on this podcast is I talk about comedians behind their back.

655
01:12:27,880 --> 01:12:34,280
But I wait till the paywall normally which is a service like it is because you need to hear it

656
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:39,160
if you're going to get. Yeah. We spill all the tea behind the paywall if there's some

657
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:43,880
at patreon.com slash bad comedy folks. The price is getting raised soon. I forgot to raise it but

658
01:12:43,880 --> 01:12:50,040
we got the fucking economy. No. It's not the economy. Apple is charging us 30 percent. What

659
01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:54,680
more fees because they have switched in at purchases but only for new patrons. So if

660
01:12:54,680 --> 01:13:00,600
you're a patron you're a better than slaves. We have like a thousand patrons. I see better respect

661
01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:07,880
them. Say I respect you patrons. OK. I want to shout out some comedians. Can I do that.

662
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:12,680
Yeah. Like in a nice I love Grace Baylor because she fucking helped me out with my.

663
01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:19,800
She's going to get her. She works on a farm. She works on a farm. Grace Baylor told me I was

664
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:25,560
thinking about how I want to be a charismatic kind of friendly kind of happy comic that.

665
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:30,520
Yeah. She probably kill yourself and give up because it's not going to that's smart. I agree.

666
01:13:31,480 --> 01:13:37,640
She told me that I was I don't really agree with you. Who else. Who else you like.

667
01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:45,960
AJ late late dig. You don't like him. Why not. I like cancel. Cancel. Why. Why.

668
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:55,080
Why cancel. Actually. AJ is so much ahead of the game. AJ guys.

669
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:59,160
They never get canceled. That's less than guy did guys dick. But he'll never get.

670
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,720
Yeah. I thought it was Ludwig Ludwig. I think John Wick.

671
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:15,160
Yeah. Wig leg. Something like that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. So I'm yeah. Grace Baylor

672
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:20,680
and then AJ AJ. John Wick and yeah they helped me a lot with my stuff. Who else.

673
01:14:20,680 --> 01:14:27,800
I don't know. Hannah Belmont. Okay. She's cool. She's cool. Red Dale. McPeek. Yeah. I like him.

674
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:34,040
He's really funny. Notice the difference. Why is it so fast. What the fuck is so awkward.

675
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:40,040
Oh my god. And that rings out. Wow. Those are beautifully time. It takes a while. Who else.

676
01:14:40,760 --> 01:14:46,760
Oh god. I don't know. I like the bad one on the bad comedy podcast like Ryan row. The bad

677
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:54,600
comedy podcast. I'm thinking about like the new ones you guys probably hate. She kind of seem

678
01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:59,400
to skip past the bad podcast. Like if she was in court and they were writing the text of

679
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:07,240
who'd say inaudible noise. Yeah. There's a there's a max suggest saying bad comedy podcast.

680
01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:12,760
And that coin coin shortage. Sandwich into a bunch of other people. She didn't say yes.

681
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:20,680
I love Mac Nipper stand up. He's just awesome every time he hits the fucking stage. So I like

682
01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:30,920
Dylan Mars. Bill Mars brother. Dylan Mars. Dylan Mayer's one liner. You should go on time. Dylan

683
01:15:30,920 --> 01:15:36,760
Mayer sounds like it's like John Mayer. A lot of people can remember at least one of my jokes.

684
01:15:36,760 --> 01:15:40,920
You should go by Dylan Mayer. It's like John Mayer. It's like I want to scream.

685
01:15:43,240 --> 01:15:47,880
He kind of owns the guitar. Who else John Mayer.

686
01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:53,640
John Mayer. John Mayer is always he's got this wisdom. Skyler Hickley is cool.

687
01:15:55,080 --> 01:16:01,080
Yeah. But his name is Skyler. Yikes. Yeah. It's a bit cringe. Sorry. Sorry. I forgot. I forgot.

688
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:06,120
I forgot. That's a bit. No one even says that anymore. I just need to cringe cringe.

689
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:13,240
That's what I'm saying. But what do you replace that with? There's no cringe. Bad. Yeah. I used to

690
01:16:13,240 --> 01:16:17,800
call like I used to call it like digra like digra. See if something was like kind of lame. It was like

691
01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:21,880
lame and cliche. That's beautiful. That's so digra. I'm stealing that. You can have it. I'm

692
01:16:21,880 --> 01:16:26,520
stealing that. That's fucking awesome. What was the other thing that she said earlier. I don't know.

693
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:34,680
She's only no gags. No. Is that bad. Oh fuck. No. It's a garage. Digra digra digra digra. You

694
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:38,840
know what I use the one thing I use to say to people in college when I was hammered. I'd be like

695
01:16:38,840 --> 01:16:44,200
do you know people? Do you know people? Tell us about your house and shit. Do you know people?

696
01:16:44,760 --> 01:16:50,680
I do. You know people. You know people? No. We're talking about people. I'm the worst.

697
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:57,080
You people. I'm the worst person. Yeah. No. That's what I would always say to people.

698
01:16:57,080 --> 01:17:00,680
Do you say that to people who are like highly hammered? Like super hammered? No. I would be

699
01:17:00,680 --> 01:17:04,760
hammered and they'd be like what the fuck is wrong with this guy. Oh. I would say I'm the worst

700
01:17:04,760 --> 01:17:09,800
person. So I would say they know people. They'd be like what? This has probably been done but most

701
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:14,440
of the time when I don't want to talk to people and I'm drunk I will just mumble and they'll be

702
01:17:14,440 --> 01:17:22,760
like what? Shut up. That's what you told them. Yeah. They were all in color. I'd be like.

703
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:31,320
What do you find? Well if you start out of nowhere it depends on the guy that's talking to you

704
01:17:31,320 --> 01:17:35,640
because you never know if it's Dan Cass and you start slurring your words. You might just

705
01:17:36,760 --> 01:17:42,520
Dan Cass. No. I carry my PH strips around. I'm good. He hasn't done that yet. You might get

706
01:17:42,520 --> 01:17:47,320
Cass in the house. I think he runs out when he gets to me. I'm just worried about like a minute

707
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:53,160
ago you said that you were Tim Allen. Tim Allen stole my panjo. What? That's what I'm saying. You

708
01:17:53,160 --> 01:17:57,240
don't want to beat Tim Allen. He did a tweet. I'll show it to you later but he stole my panjo.

709
01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:02,520
If you're Tim Allen. Sue. This guy's loaded. We got to close this one off for battery purposes.

710
01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:06,680
Oh brother. Plus our guest could be here soon. We have to beat the shit out of Alex.

711
01:18:06,680 --> 01:18:10,760
All right. No. Not that type of battery. No we're just joshing you guys.

712
01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:19,080
It was a prank. Wait who's our guest? Max. Oh Max Shanker. He shanks a lot of.

713
01:18:19,080 --> 01:18:26,760
He shanks the most people. No it's actually Jelly Roll. He's a rapper producer from the south.

714
01:18:27,640 --> 01:18:31,320
Max Jelly Roll Shanker. All right where can people find you at coin shortage?

715
01:18:31,320 --> 01:18:38,200
You can find me on I guess YouTube now. I have a YouTube. TikTok. A lot of TikTok.

716
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:42,680
Okay so is. Maybe not. Instagram at coin shortage.

717
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:49,320
TikTok is just raw. Instagram for sure. That's my main one. What's your two view?

718
01:18:51,640 --> 01:18:57,400
Coin shortage as well. Everything's. All coin. Okay cool. That's like me. Yeah. Soundcloud.

719
01:18:57,400 --> 01:19:00,440
Soundcloud is coin shortage. I have like. Are you a rapper?

720
01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:09,400
I feel like you've been. I feel like you'd be like really good. Yeah. Yeah. I ran because I can in a

721
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:15,960
van. I ran. Yeah. And I love Iran. And I love cans. You love Iran. So you hate it. It's real

722
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:22,760
interesting. Okay. And eat poop. Because I knew. I got coops. Yeah. That's actually really good.

723
01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:28,760
I can keep going. Yeah we can. I got a rooster. That's on. And a booster. That's on Soundcloud.

724
01:19:28,760 --> 01:19:38,520
No. I well. I have Party Song 1. I have a cover of the nasty song. I have. Are you cutting me out?

725
01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:45,560
But I've been a nasty good. Nasty. I got a cover of that. Yes. Yes. Yes.

726
01:19:48,120 --> 01:19:54,200
Motherfucker. What is this? What is this right now? I'm at plugs. So I feel like I'm in an episode of

727
01:19:54,200 --> 01:20:00,200
Curb. Call her at coin shortage. I feel like I'm on an episode of like Seinfeld. Well, we know what

728
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:05,160
Curb is. I feel like I'm in an episode of Friends or something. You have to clarify by saying the

729
01:20:05,160 --> 01:20:10,680
writer of Seinfeld's show. Yeah. I love Larry David. We know what Curb you're going to do. Yeah. Oh,

730
01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:17,960
you do. I thought I never curbed my enthusiasm for it. I love it. I'm enthusiastic. Yeah. Oh my

731
01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:24,440
god. Yeah. I don't curb it at all. I'm like, let's watch. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny when

732
01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:30,840
he's like, oh, yeah. And then Jeff Garland's like, I'm fat. And then he's like, my wife,

733
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:35,240
a fucking bitch wife. I'm a fat Jewish guy. And then Larry David's like, I'm a skinny Jewish guy.

734
01:20:37,320 --> 01:20:43,400
There's someone at McDonald's who delivers to my apartment and I just stole it. And then I was in

735
01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:50,600
my car. Well, it was because it was five hours later. Okay, sure. Sure. It was wrong. But then

736
01:20:51,160 --> 01:20:55,880
I was thinking you're wrong for that. Yeah, I was wrong for that. And then if someone walked by,

737
01:20:56,600 --> 01:21:02,680
I would have looked like Larry David. And that's yeah, that Oh, no, it's a different bag. Yeah. I

738
01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:07,560
love Larry David so much. There is an episode I think where like, it's like, everyone's voting. And

739
01:21:07,560 --> 01:21:12,360
then it was off by one vote because he yeah, he talked the other person. Larry David so much.

740
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:18,360
That's a genius idea. He's so fucking. Yeah. So did you see one of those just in town? Well,

741
01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:25,400
because I didn't Dylan, where do they find you? You can find me outside of Larry's apartment.

742
01:21:26,040 --> 01:21:34,040
I'm not looking in there. Larry David's apartment. Where is it? Twitter X is the first floor because

743
01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:41,160
moving sucks. But yeah, so I'm not looking into his apartment. I'm looking in the reflection of it.

744
01:21:41,160 --> 01:21:45,960
I just happened to be there. Yeah. And I have a it's pretty cool. You live in a studio apartment.

745
01:21:45,960 --> 01:21:49,720
I wanted to get I always wanted to get an apartment with a studio on it. Yeah, I know. So

746
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:55,080
dance studios out the window. There's not enough room. Is it a rap studio? Then it's pretty much

747
01:21:55,080 --> 01:22:00,920
a size of one. Okay, that's it's basically be you're a you're after your cats. Yeah,

748
01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:05,720
it's kind of cool. It's about time I talk back. Yeah. I'm not taking that.

749
01:22:05,720 --> 01:22:12,360
All right. And folks, you can find me a bad boy comedy. I feel like we're watching like,

750
01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:20,360
like blue collar comedy tour. Well, I'm I'm that's kind of like a Jeff. I feel offended by that.

751
01:22:20,360 --> 01:22:24,920
Now you're not you're in Seinfeld and folks find me a bad boy comedy catch me at the

752
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:28,920
laugh factory comedy Barzanie some had lighting pretty much every weekend in front of Paul

753
01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:37,320
Farrakhan and Chris Bader Ginsburg. So what? And what and watch, you know what? What? Watch,

754
01:22:37,320 --> 01:22:42,600
we have a really big guest coming up. So we already told you who it was, but we didn't

755
01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:51,160
actually say who it was. You join patreon.com slash bad comedy. You won't be. Sorry. You won't be

756
01:22:51,160 --> 01:23:01,240
sorry, folks, and we'll catch you soon.