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Oh yeah, still lower than our everybody. Welcome to the bad comedy podcast. My name

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is Megan Mackle. I'm in here and I'm here with a fat so hey,

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Slop. We got Jason and Dylan. Fat so

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I'll call myself fat smaller. I actually weighed myself today and I don't

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weigh more. I've been weighing the same about for like a while, but none of my clothes fit.

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So I think I'm like like my muscles turning into fat because you know muscles

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have I think I'm getting wider but not gaining weight. Okay. So it's like I'm

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feeling with air or something. So that's bad. I probably oh it's the worst. Yeah.

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Yeah. I did mess around with some helium the other day. Oh yeah. I was doing a little helium voice.

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I can't imagine that because you have kind of a deep voice. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good time.

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It's funny when you do whip it and you talk it's a low it's opposite it's a low voice. Do you know

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helium is a non renewable resource? What is helium? We just placed it on. Yeah. And one day we're not

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going to be able to do that. We should definitely buy a bunch of helium and I have no idea.

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I was listening to a thing about the scientists that fossil fuels aren't

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just fossil just made from animal stuff. What else are they made from? Some other shit.

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They want you as the devil. Fascinating. No but there was a we can get there's like

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ways to get more of that stuff. More fossil fuels. Yeah. Can we make it like lab grown diamonds?

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Maybe. We can grow it in a lab. I forgot. We can we grow fossils in a lab. I want the blood diamonds.

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I've also heard that hot weather causes more carbon but carbon doesn't cause more hot weather.

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Carbon I feel like carbon is why I'm keep gaining weight. Yeah. About carbs. I'm Kurt

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carbon. I'm a scientist. I killed Nick. Oh I K. K wide. Hey. Oh I want to appease the algorithm

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real quick. I saw this product at the store and it's a flame retardant and I was like

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not in 2023 homophobic and ableist. Oh is it Matt Brown shirt? Yeah.

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Nobody said it said the R word in it to you know that our words coming back. Yeah. Do you think

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that Arabs is going to come back to you. We got to see. Yeah. I was going to start saying the word

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Arabs again. You got to say a rab. Yeah. It sounds like a cool nickname for Saurab.

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He's Persian by the way. He's not even Arab. You know that. He's so rab.

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Yes. True. Yeah. Also we've been being racist for a while now. And they all do this though.

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All these brown comics. They do jokes about every kind of brown. Yeah. Well,

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Kamala Harris isn't even Indian. She's Asian. She's the worst example. What did Trump say?

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Yeah. She's a free episode. Yeah. But I almost just said it and I'd probably get in trouble.

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I don't know. It'd probably be fine. I saw it. He was like I didn't even know she was black until

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like three months ago. I always thought she was Indian. I thought he said she wasn't black until

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three months ago. Like she just came out as black. Oh. I thought he put it on her. Not like I

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didn't know. I thought he was saying like no she was never even saying this before. I think

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she was saying that she wasn't even saying it. Well, you know Joe Biden said you're not black if

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you don't vote for me. Yeah. Maybe she didn't vote for herself. Yeah. She wasn't out there campaigning

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as much as Joe was. But so we didn't get to see her pandering side. But she definitely she definitely

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coats witches to the like I do. They're probably just trying to get her to do anything. Stay on

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script. She definitely leans into the into that voice. If she became really good at it, I think

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that would help her. That's why I think she should lean into Asian all types of Asian and be like

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I'm camera Harris. You guys all love cameras. Am I right? A vote for cameras of both China.

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And you don't want her to get bullied by the president of China. Oh no. She's got to pick

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up some accent. I was watching some YouTube guy and talking about being demon time for saying

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bad stuff. They were bleeping the word sex. Really just say the word sex. I don't know. Like I

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don't think we'll ever be able to make money on YouTube. I don't even know if we should try.

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No, but I did not get demon time. I think it's a fun exercise to try not to.

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It's like being a clean comic for a minute. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun exercise to do that and then

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unleash on the other. They say they like on a live each other and they they don't like say the word

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like kill. I don't think they could say the word kill. We say who a hide. We say cancel.

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Yeah, I know. But it's fun to come up with alternative words. I don't mind doing that.

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But I'm just saying like yeah, no, you're totally right. I was realizing when I was watching this

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other YouTube video that they don't say anything. No, anything bad. No, it's like one. It's like

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maybe one in six of our videos isn't like flagged for shocking content.

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That's probably just because we didn't say anything in the first like 10 minutes or something.

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It probably doesn't check the whole video. I don't know. I doubt that we can go an hour without

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saying something. I really doubt that. Well, I already pander to the algorithms. I think we're

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good. Okay. Because you said let's get re monitor because I canceled. COVID is real. Yeah, yeah.

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Sure is. Sure is. We're pandering to the algorithm. Ben Carson. What about that guy?

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Yeah. So he learned how to separate and join twins. He practiced using we had which means you

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should be a politician. Why? I'm just kidding. We had practiced on dummies that you had velcro.

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That's like dumb people. Do you think a guy with his background in surgery or Donald Trump has a

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better like background for politics? Honestly, to make them a good like, I don't know what

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honestly Trump because he's a performer. So he's able to perform for an audience. Yeah,

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that's the only reason I say Trump. If that's the case, then we should have Hulk Hogan for president

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because he's the greatest performer there has ever lived. I think I agree. President has to

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separate can join twins and you put Trump in there and he's not cool under that pressure anymore.

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His hands are shaking who Hulk Hogan. No, Trump. Oh, he has small hands. He's trying to he does

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have small hands. If his hands are shaking, it kind of look like a like a like a stand mixer.

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Or I would sleep like or it would be kind of like a cookie dough in front of him.

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You kind of like the song. Lose yourself by Eminem. It'd be like palms sweaty.

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These weak arms are heavy. Yeah, you know, I would Donald Trump came out and said,

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I know something you don't know about that Kamala's real last name is Harris and Harris

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have real nice parents. What if he was debating? Yeah, I but I probably further

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scary movie three rap battle version better. It's the same thing. Yeah, I wanted to go out there

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and say I'm a white boy, but my neck is red. I put miracle whip on my one to breath. Oh,

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geez. My face is pale and I've never been in jail. That's cool. Zach was in that movie.

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Yeah, he also had a rap battle fat Joe in that movie. Nice. That's a good movie.

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Team USA. Yeah, that is a cool looking for a local. Can I can I waterfall a taste? Yeah.

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Waterboarding. We're not sponsored by the folks. No free ads. This is actually three loco.

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Look at the gold medal and waterboarding. It's funny that yeah for local doesn't need to do any

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advertising. All they had to do was kill a bunch of teenagers when they first came out

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and now nobody will ever forget their name. Yeah, that's the ultimate advertising. They

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just had to take out the caffeine, right? Yeah, something like that. I had a bad experience

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and it's like the kids aren't gonna drink a for local and drink a red bull to you know

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like you know people mix caffeine and alcohol all the time. So like for a logo is the first

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time that happened. That's every time I drink. Why is it for a crate for because for crazy guys

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made it like there's four guys are like with a cave. Not let's see. Oh, Lobo is spelled with

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the sea. Maybe it's like maybe it's like Lobo Den which we are sponsored by. Shout out Lobo

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Den. Joe Boni. Check it out. I think the loco is just kind of like cool like corn. Look cool. Yeah,

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it does look cool though. Yeah, I think it's like a white guy with dreadlocks at a power

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hour last night and I kept thinking about corn. I have no idea who he was. He didn't go up. He

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just hung out around the back of the room and then when Emily Ogil went up, he smiled really big.

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Was it Jonathan Davis? It might have been Jonathan Davis. That's been awesome. Jonathan Davis

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would be a huge fan of Emily Ogil. Yeah, Jonathan Davis would love. You might have been one of

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Emily's friends. I don't know. He probably tried to recruit you in your stop. Could it

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corn because he looks like he could be in corn. Oh, he has to do as good as hair greasy and braided.

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Yeah, the context. But someone's talking about they're like corn with the K. Does that mean

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anything to you? I'm like, yeah, I think it means a little something. Yeah. And backwards are. Yeah.

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If someone says me backwards are, I'm like, that's that's code word for you. We're corn fans. Yeah,

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you know, that's suck when you're playing scrabble and you got the backwards are, but you don't

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got a K or M. No, it's the worst. But you can use the blank piece. Yeah, use the blank. I use the

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blank as backwards are every time I put scrabble. Yeah, so people bring up bees. Yeah, something

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to me. Yeah, electricity. What about you know the sword in the stone? What about the sword?

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The sword in the corn in the stone? How about that? I like it. Yeah, Scalibur. Yeah, it was that

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that's not a real sword or was that a real I mean the sword in the stone thing is not real.

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Merlin is a real Excalibur right Merlin was real I think Excalibur Merlin was the elites are in

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corn. Yeah, well Merlin was the early he was the resputing of that of the King Arthur's court.

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And then there was Sir Lance a lot. Why do you call that? Because I lance a lot. So many people

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are fucking sick. That's right. Like Sir Arthur. King Arthur. Sir makes a lot. Sir makes a lot.

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King Arthur the art. He's actually an art sir Elton John. Sir Paul McCartney. Yeah, they have

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knighted way too many people. Yeah, they can you only get them in the battle and see what

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happens. Can you only get knighted if you're British? Is that a spacey British? No, he's

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knighted. Yeah, really? Dude, I wonder. That's amazing. Yeah, I still like Kevin Spacey. I don't

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care about all the stuff. Yeah, I think he was just hiding being gay. He's too good of an actor.

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He's just I separate the artist. I like the movie seven. I like when he makes Brad Pitt say

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what's in the box? Do I call that guy who's evil is great at playing villains and movies?

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He's basically like he's like I think of him. I don't I like to think of coming to Spacey more

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as the serial killer from seven than the pedophile from real life. Yeah, his acting. Honestly,

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he's a great actor. But if you think about it, his his job in acting and pretty much everything

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is just to be deadpan and kind of evil. Yeah, pretty easy. You could probably play Kevin.

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How about this though? You ever see your Nicholas Cage? Would you be impossible to you ever see

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the one where he's Kaiser Sosa? What's that movie? Usual Sussex and he's so good at acting. He

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pretends like he has a limp. He's very mad at you because he he's pretending to have a limp

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as a guy who doesn't have a limp. That was so he's like acting in acting. Yeah, wasn't it?

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Wasn't that the sequel to my left foot? Is that a joke we've done before? Yeah, okay, yeah.

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It was the sequel. That movie was parodyed in Scary Movie One. I want to rat-bite the scary

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movies, of course. Scary movies. Oh, you're right. It was. Did it come out around the same time? I

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feel like it's way older. It is older. Yeah, but screen movie one was able to kind of use like

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Exorcist or a screen movie to use Exorcist, I think. I don't know. I don't know. The screen

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movie one was able to use any one prior to that, but then the other ones kind of had to use ones

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made in the middle. I like whoever. I love the Exorcist. I think that's like what is one of my

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favorite movies. I like I like anything. I like whoever watched the Exorcist and thought, man,

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I'd like to fuck that girl. I bet she'd be crazy in bed. That demon. That's my goal. And then they

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wrote it into a scary movie. Isn't that what happens? She like gets possessed and then they

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have crazy sex. I think so. I'm trying to remember this from like 10 years ago. I think that's the

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case. But I like the Texas massacre. Yeah, I like that movie. Wow. The original. No, the one that

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you ever see the one with maybe not maybe the original. You ever see the one with Matthew

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McConaughey and he's got a robot leg? No, you have to see that. It's called a Texas Texas

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chainsaw massacre next generation. Matthew McConaughey plays like the the chainsaw guy's

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brother. Is that actually true? Yes. Have you seen Jason X? Yes. It's been a while, but yeah,

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he's in space. Yeah, yeah. It's it's Friday, the 13th movies, but it's that it's I don't even think

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it's the 10th one. It's just it is the 10th one. The 10th one was supposed to be Jason versus

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Freddie at the end of the ninth one. You see Freddie's claw up and pull Jason's mask underground.

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Wait at the end of Freddie versus Jason at the end of Friday, 13th, nine. What do you see? It's

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called Jason goes to hell or something. You see Freddie's claw come up and pull they like

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they foreshadow Jason versus Freddie at the end of the Jason, but then they but then they ran out

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of money and they did. They did Jason in space to make money to do Freddie versus Jason. It came

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out right after I feel like Freddie versus Jason did well. It came out after the space one, but

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the why they should have had a follow up to Freddie versus Jason because that ends with Jason

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carrying Freddie's head out of the water, but and then Freddie Winks. Yeah, they set up for a

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sequel or something. We need it. Where is that? I need the next one. Whenever they do that. It's

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like the last movie they ever did of either of them, if you like. So I think they came out with

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like some re-dos of of both. Oh, okay. I didn't know that with like a different actor. You get

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you. I want to go back to the same. You got to the same Freddie Kruger actor. Kevin Bacon is in

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the first brother 13 Kevin. Kevin Bacon Ranch. Yeah. Yeah. He did like that and then he did like

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Apollo 13. When they wink like that, it's like that's not the end of the movie cliff anger.

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Apollo 13 has a star stud cast and I noticed that half that cast is also in the show Prison

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Break. Apollo 13. Yeah. Really? That goes also in prison. Tom Hanks isn't that? So wouldn't be

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great to get that guy in prison. Do unspeakable things to the actors. They're totally innocent

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or totally guilty. Tom Hanks. Yeah. Yeah. It's a show shake situation. Yeah. It's funny. But two

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of the actors you wouldn't know by name are in also in prison break. Yeah. I bet they're also in that.

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I think we talked about this before. And like half the actors in American History X are in Boy

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Meets World. Yeah. That's the best. That's the best. Yeah. They really they all play races in

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American History X. Well they had to pretend to be nice in Boy Meets World and then they

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wanted to really let out their true. They met world like other countries. Oh yeah. Ethan

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Chumley got all these tattoos or not Ethan. Is that his name? No. Ethan Hock. Supley.

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That's how I got skinny is eating a bunch of soup. Ethan. It's even eaten soup. Yeah. He got a

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bunch of racist tattoos and then did American History X. Wow. And then he sang the song in

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that movie where they say the the the B board. You know. Like my eyes have seen the story.

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Yeah. I can't even sing it because I don't even know what some of that parts of the song means.

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I thought that movie American History X sucked actually. I thought it was scary. People say

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it's like one of the best movies. Just because I'm sorry. But it's the last time you saw it.

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I haven't seen in a long time but I just reflect on that. I'm like dude this guy needed like to

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meet a black guy to know they're not bad. Is that the fucking moral of the story. Kind of.

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Yeah. He goes to jail and he meets a black guy who's kind of cool and he's like oh my god I've

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been racist this whole time. I killed a black guy over this. Yeah. And then well then he tries to get

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his little brother out of it and then his brother is like starting to do well and not be it. And

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then he gets killed by a black guy. That's what happens. Wait. It's like the boy in the

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straight. But it's the moral of the story that that you shouldn't try to reform.

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So you get killed by a black guy. Yeah. There's two morals. One meet a black guy so you don't

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become racist. Two. If you're already racist stay racist. I mean you've done the damage.

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Yeah. He gets shot in the end by a black guy. So he should have. Yeah. There's come a point

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in life you have to stop growing and changing. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what you don't want to be

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like a 50 year old man who's trying to rap or something. It's like well actually I have an

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idea about this. You can't teach an old dog new tricks in dog years. So for us that'd be

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you're like 70. That's old when you're 10 years old. So you should stop changing at age 10.

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Okay. You know I think maybe earlier. Yeah. Age five. 35. That seems like a good time to stop.

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Yeah. I don't really know how dog years work. It's like seven. So like for every year of us

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is seven years for them. That's just kind of the calculation. The rough calculation of their

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lifespan. So so. Roof. Dogs can have dogs can have sex when they're three. Yeah. Okay.

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You can drink when they're three. I have sex. Yeah. Join the military.

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Oh speaking of dogs. Fair enough. That not dogs in the military but dogs in the police.

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There's a movie called Muzzle. That's very good. I heard of that movie.

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You heard about it. There's a movie Jim Belushi called canine. The main character in this one

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is like a buddy cop movie where one of the buddies is a dog. The main character is Harvey Dent.

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Wait. What was it called? Canine. The main character is like the letter K. The number

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nine. It's Harvey Dent is the main character in this one that I'm talking about. Man's best friend.

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I think man's best friend is a woman. Nice. Interesting. Women are dogs. Whoa.

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Or my dog. Only Rosie O'Donnell. Only Rosie O'Donnell. Okay. Yeah. I want to make the whole

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audience bark or howl at the moon like Ozzy Osbourne. Um.

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We want to. Wait. Right or Ali left. I was I was I was just about to I was just about to say all

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the board. All the board. Good song. It would be cool if you made that on Ozzy Osbourne.

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Shout out to Ozzy Osbourne. Oh guys. Make sure to check out Willie Nelson.

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Saturday, September 7th. And then our live show on the eighth really wanted to stop doing ads

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for our live show. No for Willie Nelson. No for Willie Nelson. Dylan's really good

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play about the Willie Nelson ads are getting out of control. November 4th. Maybe check out

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Willie Nelson then too. Well he'll be alive till the spring of 25 I believe. I mean I hope because

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I bought about a million dollars. I've got a million dollars worth of t-shirts that say

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Willie Nelson the fall or the fall of 1934 until the spring of 25. Remember how we did a blood oath

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last week. Yeah. Right there. Why is that on the wall of ops? Yeah. Why is it on the wall of ops?

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Oh I don't know. I just put it up really quick today. I was thinking I'll put it up. I'm gonna

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frame it. Well it sucked to play bass with it. Definitely cut the wrong figure.

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I did not think this through. I was like what if I got Crohn's from this. Yeah. I was stupid.

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It's probably about getting all you guys. I was like what if I got fed or R worded from it.

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We probably gave you a couple IQ points. Honestly. I mean I just realized is I've been having brain

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problems because my sleep so like after I get my sleep fixed I might get my IQ way up. You have

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sleep fat. Yeah. Honestly. I think you sleep fat. I mean I have sleep apnea from being fat. Sure.

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Yes. No. You're trying to say. Yeah. So for sure. But once I get that shit fixed. I'm

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in accent. A new link for a new test. He's still more than us. No I'm not. Well no. I like how

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it's different. The problem is the test. Yeah. No this this test you should take it. Yeah we're

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going to take it. We're going to get some good sleep. I don't want to take it. It's also timed.

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We're going to be hydrated healthy breakfast and then we're going to. I want to take it while I'm

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taking you got it. I want to take it like the last one like while I'm taking a shit and sleep to

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practice. Your time limit is still your legs fall asleep. Yeah. But make sure your healthy

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breakfast is shredded wheat because we always eat shredded wheat here at bad comedy podcast.

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We don't follow the compass. Is this another ad. No that's never that's never for that's never

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each. And the ads are out of control back. Don't use that's not an ad as compasses. No you shredded

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wheat. Oh no. So I get worms. No shredded wheat's not even a company that's weedies.

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Oh what am I thinking of weedies that but they make shredded wheat is shredded. We

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is shredded wheat like a thing that exists outside of we. That's like a right crunch

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berries is not a brand. The Kellogg crunches the brand. Everyone makes crunch berries. I mean

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never never. So you said a generic term for it is crunch berries. Yeah. The other week you said

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very good crunch. You just said never eat soggy waffles which is also smart because have you

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heard of the game soggy waffle. Oh I heard about that. I heard about that later. It's where a

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bunch of them the guys a bunch of guys in a circle. They do they do something on to a waffle

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and the last one this message is first the last one to post has to you need to come get lowest

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lane or I'm going to get this waffle waffle and do something to it. That's what you said. Everyone

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does something to a waffle. Yeah. That was that was good but it was kind of something to it.

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After they eat the waffle they do something to it. After they eat the waffle they go

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so you I bet they would have so jealous of you with that sound board right now. Yeah. Let me

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get that thing. No. I mean I did a better job than you guys gave me credit for on that. I mean

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it was fun. You over you over did the job. Anything money related. I mean you did you did

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anything anything related. I think yeah. Nice element of my favorite element is neon. What's

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yours. Oh interesting. What's yours Jason. I like uranium. Oh yeah. I like plutonium.

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My favorite element is look up. I'm looking for a specific one.

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It's my favorite element is elephant. You're out of your right now. I can't find it.

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No. It's my favorite element is elephant. See that kind of sums up the IQ stuff. No.

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No. I mean you should take the test. No. You should take the real test and see the

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also my emotional. You know what the real test is me on a fishing boat this weekend.

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That's the that's the real test. I want to see Jason's emotional IQ zero out there catching

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bass catching bass my emotional intelligence. Yeah. You can take your EQ test. You don't

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even listen to anybody. What do you mean my emotional. What do you mean. You're not emotionally

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intelligent. How am I not. You're you're callous and mean. You call everyone fat. You have no

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control. You walk around to complain all the time. You walk around the bar being mean to everybody.

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I have a very high. I have like almost expert emotional intelligence according to the test.

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So interesting. Yeah. You should take this sociopath. I'll take it.

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No. I don't think you're sociopath. I'll take it.

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Sociopath that we know.

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Matt VanWerck. I think he just got narcissistic personality disorder. Yes. Him is a echo.

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Yeah. I think Zach was got that. Dan K. I have Mark. I have Mark. Mark.

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Disorder. Mark. What does he have? So see a path. Mark. Disorder. Oh he's Mark.

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He's Mark. He has Mark. Disorder. He's. Yeah. Oh shout out to our super shout out to our super

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fan. Shout out to our Instagram super fan perpetual pup. Oh that person added me and

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messaged me and I didn't know what did they do. I don't know this message.

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The podcast and they followed me and sent me messages but I didn't respond because I was I

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haven't I haven't responded to any messages but shout out to that they clearly listen and

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reference jokes in the podcast from the real but Instagram or from the actual pod from the free

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episodes I think. Interesting. Yeah. Oh they said they message that we should beat the shit out of

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you Dylan for why. So they know it's me behind the thing and then they said just kidding or I

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forget why. Oh is this one of your stalkers Dylan. Yeah. Really. Well no it's all three of us.

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Why do they why should we beat up Dylan though according to. Yeah let us know perpetual pup.

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So honestly she makes jewelry. I look at her profile she makes jewelry that seems like some

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real Michigan shit. No this girl is a sociopath. Hey don't put her down. She's a super fan. She's

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a sociopath. Yeah she is. I don't know. She's something for sure. Yeah she's just having fun.

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You know she enjoys the podcast and likes to tell us about it. We're probably not going to

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respond to anything ever but you know that is. Yeah she's on her path I guess. What's that.

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Adam Gilbert. Get out of here. She sent me two messages that were funny and I wanted to respond

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but I was honestly scared so I didn't respond. I've been picked on by too many mentally ill people.

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Honestly I'm a target for like people who are yeah. Yeah it gets it used to be fun maybe.

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You realize what's entertaining but then I just once four or five four or five your exes have

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been in a psych ward while you were dating them. You know like yeah I'm dating the wrong.

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I mean perpetual pup. I'm not going to respond but everything's been pretty nice and pretty

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good references you said so whatever keep it up. Yeah. I'm about Ryan Seacrest. Sorry I probably

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not going to respond. Anything. No Max definitely moving in on this like a hawk right now. I mean

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I mean you Ryan Seacrest you can't always have the you can't always have the fans that you want.

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You know she belongs to the Sewers. Ryan Seacrest should start doing a brand of toothpaste for

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whales or yeah Ryan Seacrest. I like that. Yeah. They are nice and oh the commercial should be

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Hammond Brad breath. They're fighting each other. Brad Croftman yeah. A coffin and a

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red breath. Roller. Yeah. This is Adam Quaslow. You heard about this motherfucker Adam Quaslow.

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This motherfucker doesn't look like Santa Claus. He looked like the bag. Yeah he looked like the bag.

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He looked like Santa Claus is bad. And I would tip wine because I'm black and mild. I love that

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movie. I just watched it for the first time like a couple years ago. Nice. What a. Yeah. I like

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that the movie like falls apart as it's happening. David tells it. Yeah. I've watched it. I was so

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confused. I've seen it once and I was so confused that I forgot everything that was in it. It's

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like a black Austin Powers. It should have been. You know it should have been. It was like too

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too old. You know who wrote that movie. It was Chappelle. It was Louis CK. I knew I knew it was

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a big comic. I wish I had his like writing ability. I like everything. I like tourism Pete.

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Who knows what he knows. I know something. He'll just like write some really weird shit. Yeah.

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On time Louis CK. He went to a hotel using a hotel room and then he went out and did a show.

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Me and Ricardo finished our play that we're writing. We finished the first draft. Nice.

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Frasier two. We got some feedback. Oh it's a play or a. Yeah. It's going to be a play.

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They go live. They got performance play. Yeah. We're going to film it.

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I like that. Yeah. Thanks. Frasier to Frasier to. I'm going to be. I'll be cranking out some

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content soon here folks as we're approaching the live show. What kind of content you're going to do

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a clip and mostly reaction stuff drama. Well yeah. No. I'm reacting to Internet drama. Yeah.

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It's going to be mostly like Mark Harvick style videos. I'm going like what's going on. No way.

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Yeah. Love after a lock up. What. I'm just going to change my name. Motorcycle. I'll be.

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Oh was he actually. So I bet his reactions are a little bit limited. You know I was literally

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going to I was I was really going to say I was going to go by Mark Carcass. He should.

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He should do his reactions like Kanye West through the wire. Now it's you like is he actually

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how injured injured to see. Do you know why he's walking around. He's good. Okay. So Mark

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Carcass is fine. This is my is his jaw wire shot. No. But does he get a cool cane like Max

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V. Gubb and he had a motorcycle accident. No he's not. Did he do a lamp. Did he do a YouTube video

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like big update. Everybody got in a car accident. Life life up. That's what YouTube people always do.

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Isn't he a YouTube guy. Oh yeah. He's like hey. Hey. Like big life update. Hey car skins.

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It. I mean life update. I don't think that there's a possibility that there's a video of his accident

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like not of his accident but him like telling everyone about it. Yeah. But he should do like a

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reaction to his accident. Oh yeah. That's a good idea. Cracking. Yeah. He doesn't need a video

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of it. But you can just take a slide show of like like his motorcycle and then he's like and then

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I was on the street and then I was like oh and then I was like ouch. Yeah. Like oh my gosh. I was

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thinking when I was flying through the air. Yeah. I love watching other people's reactions

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instead of having my own. You know. Do you see Mark very often Dylan. Yeah. At least like once a week.

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You still do jerks. Yeah. We moved it to the bit. The bit. That's the name of it. Or that's a place.

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It's a place in Aurora. Like it's where the old comedy shrine was and then they moved. They still

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got the toys. No the bit theater like bought the comedy shrine sign though. Because the comedy

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shrine was like lame to comics and then I prefer this new place like bought the they made me fill

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out a 401k and they paid me 15 dollars. Really. Yeah. The comedy. I did 20 minutes. The comedy

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shrine is a kind of like Scientology. So it seems like it's a place where you go to hear

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Scientology comedy. The worship Dave Sinker. Yeah. Like the owner. He had like pictures of himself

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like on the walls and shit. That's awesome. Like it was like the wallpaper. So he had a shrine

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actually in there. That's pretty funny. Yeah. Still better name than riddles for the comedy club.

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I don't know how they it's like you don't know what a riddle is. Why you call it comedy club riddles.

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I'm tired of these like of me. What does that mean of my heart. Sorry. I'm tired of my heart

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sinking every few minutes whenever these jets fly by thinking that a nuke is about to drop.

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And I would always think that too. Because I didn't know the first one I heard like two days ago I

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think I was outside waiting for an Uber to go to my to go to my infusion appointment.

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So to get jacked to the superpowers. And I heard one fly over and I was like well this is it.

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Yeah. Because I was too much Dan Carlin's hardcore history. And then I heard it jet. And I'm like

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oh my god. Yeah. I was like well I'm supposed to evaporate. So yeah. They kept going over and

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over. Just crash already. Yeah. They're trying to practice to not crash. Yeah. I want to do in

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the show the air show probably right. Yeah. Practicing for the air show. Aaron Aaron Chase

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water show. Yeah. It's an old guy move I learned one time. I'm saying something. I don't care.

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I always thought my whole life I don't care to learn what's the correct. I always thought

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it was a guy named Aaron Waters and he was like does the show down by the beach or something.

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It turned out it was like airplanes and water stuff going on. We'd always go to Gary for

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the air and water show and watch from the beach there. I like less crowded. I like to go there

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and chase show. He's just sits on a stool you know kind of like talks. This crowd word. I haven't

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seen him in a while. Arian. Arian Chase. Arian Chase. That's a white Aaron Chase. He's in corn.

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Aaron Chase. Yeah. Does he salute podcast. I'm sure I think we're somewhere relevant

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in his podcast. I just like that all of our podcast probably close which is really sad.

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We're doing bad. Yeah. You're so bad comedy. We're like almost at Aaron Chase level. We're

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not doing bad at all. So we're doing we're even if we could even be considered in the same

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sentences as his YouTube show. It's about the art that like Brian Rose been on multiple times.

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I just like that all the podcasts Chicago are really important and us as comics was

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really important. Yeah we're important guys. Because to me I don't know anything else except for

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we should be talking about Jerry how many is about show or something. We should know what's

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going on. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I Jerry. Jerry how many why because he said he was going to put us

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in his comedy zone and he didn't. He said he's going to get if we you get for listening to

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people like that. So he told us if we want two years back to back then we get an issue in there

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and then he ended up like bargaining down to us having us like a side note thing and then I was

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like OK fine. Let's do that. And then he I wonder if it would be good for us to even get that.

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I think we should. I can't imagine reading his yeah his I can't imagine reading his bullshit.

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I can't imagine even opening that he does. Gazelle. It's like worse than Aaron.

365
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:39,040
Yeah. One time I'm open a gazelle is if I'm feeding a lion in Africa. Yeah. OK.

366
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:46,800
Who do you think I am. The crocodile hunter. He's like he's like Sam Tellin. I noticed you

367
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:51,440
like crowd work. Is there anything like what about the joke the joke formation. I didn't read

368
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:56,320
some of that one because I didn't read some of that one because he mentioned me in it Sam did.

369
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:01,440
So I just hit control F to find my name. Wow. That's the play. Wait how does that

370
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:06,960
way control. Is it's fine. You don't use control. I've never done that. What the hell.

371
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:12,320
I prefer to party. You're not really a reader. I'm more of a part here.

372
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:18,480
But I think it's like based on the interview. You know that's why you open it maybe.

373
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:22,800
But then well somebody said you're mentioned as I go where command F. Yeah.

374
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:28,880
And they find my name Jason then I read it. Just like a couple of cents around it. Yeah.

375
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:33,040
And he was like it's great to come to Chicago where you they got the funniest people here like

376
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:39,600
Jason Melton and Aaron Naylor. I've heard that. I've heard that.

377
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:47,040
What Chicago scene is a little bit out of touch with the Chicago scene. He mentioned me and Aaron

378
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:53,920
Naylor and not even pinnacles of the Chicago scene. Crazy. He's vouching for you. But good job.

379
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:58,320
Sam. He did. He did tell Chris Grieven not to get back to upper near him. He didn't talk shit

380
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:03,520
about me. He says to me all the time. Yeah. I said I can't control him. Yeah. Ham.

381
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:12,480
You're on. Rogan. Ham talents on notice. Should be on the wall of ops. Yeah. I still got to finish

382
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:18,000
that picture of I am Sam Talon. Until he messes or mentions you on Rogan.

383
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:26,640
And then your comedy career will be everything you ever dreamed of. Yeah. Well I showed I'd

384
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:31,280
rather be mentioned on Tucker Carlson now that he's bigger than Rogan. So I was I tried to watch

385
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:37,520
Sam on Rogan but I was on acid and it was really scary because you're picturing Sam.

386
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:44,400
I was like somebody I know is on the TV. You're probably picturing gross Sam. Yeah. Oh yeah.

387
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:49,600
They're both like freaky looking disgusting beast. It is like a pimple talking to the body. It's on.

388
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:57,280
That would have given my ass a brand like Sam's got to Sam's got the body. Yeah. Yeah. Rogan's

389
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:02,000
the pimple but you can't pop him. Yeah. What would you do if you ran there. What do you do if

390
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:07,520
you ran the same town. Joe Rogan. It ain't ready. The pimple ain't ready. Dylan what do you do if

391
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:16,320
you if you ran into Sam Talon in a dark alleyway. I guess I'd have to turn around because you take

392
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:21,920
up the whole last time I read Sam Allen. Last time I ran Sam Allen in a narrow space I was Indiana

393
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:30,160
Jones running from the Boulder. That's kind of good. Some tribal people release Sam to roll over

394
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:37,280
me and you can kind of relate that because he's from Colorado Boulder. True. I was up in the

395
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:43,040
mountains looking for gold. Yeah. You're prospecting. Yeah. I did that thing. I had the sand. I took

396
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,760
some out to make sure it weighed the same. I was lining it up and I switched it like I got it and

397
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:52,080
then the whole thing went and then the boulder came and I started running and then here comes Sam

398
00:40:52,080 --> 00:41:00,400
and easily. They're not they're not short shorts. I'm just really tall. He's rolling. I'm wearing it.

399
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:05,600
I'm wearing a Nathan Lawn shirt because I am a big fan of Nathan Lawn. I wore mine the other day

400
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:10,640
too. I was thinking where if black people see this they're like who's that guy who's Nathan Lawn.

401
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:17,440
I don't know why they had to be black. Oh, it might say something about me. Oh, we got to do

402
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:24,880
ads. Sorry Dylan. I'm actually excited for the ads. I'm pro ad now. I don't have my wallet with me

403
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:31,520
but I'm actually you have to use the specific link tracker link to do it. So it comes back to us

404
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:38,400
but I'll post the link but it's it's an Amazon link. You click on it so it tracks it for us. So

405
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:45,680
it helps us and it helps you and you get like 50% off with promo code bad comedy and it's a smart

406
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:51,760
tracker wallet connects to find my iPhone as RFID blocking. It's the best wallet I've ever had.

407
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:57,200
I got Mike Robinson one for his birthday and he loves it. He doesn't even have an iPhone.

408
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:05,840
But he likes to he puts his bus pass in there as his link card. He should put his buck. He should

409
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:11,920
wear his bus to pass around his neck like Michael Ashton. That really big guy. That big autistic

410
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:22,240
guy. Yeah. So that's a combo right there. They should do a team. Sorry. Go ahead. Yeah. The whale

411
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:31,040
in the middle. Lastly, these wallets are super legit. So it's on Amazon, Oz King smart wallet

412
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:36,960
shark and what is it? After all the discounts, it's like 30 bucks. So just get it and then join

413
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:44,480
bad comedy patreon.com slash bad comedy and you'll save money on everything. Time is money.

414
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:50,000
We all time is money. That's right. You'll save time money. This is off King wallet. That's what

415
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:55,840
it's called by the way. Us Kang. No broke. Get the off King and you become the Puss King. Yeah. I

416
00:42:55,840 --> 00:43:00,960
realized that it wasn't the Australian King. It was an Australian King. Ruth invented us.

417
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:06,640
Kang. Oh, it's King. Yeah. K and shit. Yeah. It's kind of cool. I like that. Yeah. But I was like,

418
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:11,760
what other kind of kangaroo is there? Right. King sounds like a barbecue sauce. Kang is barbecue.

419
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:18,800
Kangy Kang. The Kang gang. Oh, wait, wait. Oh, yeah. I always forget to say off Kang gang.

420
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:27,600
Join us Kang gang now by hitting the link in this in the episode that I'll put in there.

421
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:32,080
If you're a broke bitch, you don't get a wallet. Yeah. Well, actually, you can afford this one

422
00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:38,400
for all of your credit cards that you're heavily indebted to. So a girl can dream. I guess. Yeah.

423
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:46,080
This way you won't lose your debt. A lot of people say you eat. There's good debt. You want good debt

424
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:54,160
like a mortgage. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not paying that now. I'm investing it instead for a higher return.

425
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:58,720
Dude, the bank is the sucker. Yeah. Good. I don't like how they're like they're calling

426
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:04,480
a mortgage good debt mortgage sucks. Yeah. It sucks. It's nothing good about it. Well,

427
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:10,880
all I mean is it just sucks. Good debt is just they mean that I have a mortgage. Yeah. Jason

428
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:16,960
trapped himself here for 30 years. I know what the hell only the only debt they say is like good

429
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:24,080
debt is like it'll grow your credit and your credit like your age of credit and stuff like that.

430
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:29,440
And it's fixed. I just have great credit for the nuclear Holocaust. Yeah. It's like, well, I don't

431
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:34,160
need credit anymore. Yeah, it's going to be great. We should use it's going to be I'm have great credit

432
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:38,320
when the when the only thing really matters is if you could find a stick big enough to beat the

433
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:44,960
other exactly. Well, you know, they're little I can't put this thing. It's a World War four.

434
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:49,200
I don't know what's going to happen. Or three or four is going to be fall with sticks and stones.

435
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:54,000
That's a good line. And then I said they also put that in your tender bio also said

436
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:01,120
that would be a funny tender. I don't know what they're going to use the quote. Yeah. Yeah. What's

437
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:05,280
the full quote the full quote that I had invented was I don't know to have it. It's going to have

438
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:10,160
a war three or World War four is going to be fall with sticks and stones, which will may break my

439
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:16,720
bones. Bo Bo words will never hurt me. That's pretty good. Yeah. They might hurt you chances.

440
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:24,000
Pussy. Let's go. Yeah. Also, your chances of getting alone. Also, if you get your bones broken

441
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:29,920
and the only weapons are sticks and stones is probably no hospitals. Yeah. With that said,

442
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:33,040
you'd probably be in big trouble with a broken bone. Like you wouldn't be able to use that

443
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:38,160
limb anymore. Here the future deeply. Mac is always talking about financial stuff, you know.

444
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:41,200
Yeah, I go back. I have no interest. Yeah.

445
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:48,240
You do actually pay high interest. Yeah. But I actually have no interest.

446
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:56,800
I will I refuse to pay attention. Yeah. Yeah. Not paying. Yeah. You should listen to

447
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:02,160
the stock investments guy. The stock broker because or else you're getting broker like you.

448
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:09,360
I don't have any investment in this conversation. Yeah. I would have made the sound just now.

449
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:18,000
I have a high interest. No, no, no, no. The only kind of interest I have is pie interest.

450
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:26,800
And I get a loan for Jason has a lot of pie interest loans. I got a loan. That's

451
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:33,200
a he owes a lot of bakers. I gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today. He owes

452
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:37,360
bakeries all around town. A thousand dollars. It's cooling down on the

453
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,800
my blueberry. Do you think windowsills are named after John Silman?

454
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:50,880
I think that's what he is. Window. So it does for a living. It's like a big windowsills. Yeah.

455
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:56,400
Who's John Silman? John Silva. Is that the same guy? We're using his dead name.

456
00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,080
His dead name is John Silman. And now he's transitioned. He's a

457
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:06,160
Jose Diaz or something. Johnny the Mexican Diaz transition into being of race.

458
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,600
Yeah. I think he's a fan of ours. He's a secret fan.

459
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:15,440
We're big fans. I got a secret for you, John. Suck my dick. Nice.

460
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:25,440
Nice. In Spanish. Chupa me pain. Chupa. Chupa. You know, that is how you say

461
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:31,920
chupalo and chalupa are way too similar sounding. Yeah. Suck it down. What if you also chupacabra?

462
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:37,680
You know what that means? The goat sucker. You know, it's like the people's champion. It's

463
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:43,120
like to be in Tijuana and like where everyone there is in the cartel and then you go to like

464
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:49,120
you I want to take you. You go to like a Tijuana. You go to like a food truck that

465
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:55,040
serves like Mexican food and then they have you look at the menu and say, could I have a chupalo?

466
00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:59,040
You accidentally say that. Oh, no. And then they kill you. They suck your peanuts. Yeah.

467
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:05,440
No. No, they kill you. If you order a chupalo from the. No, they see that as an insult and they

468
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:10,880
shoot you. Oh, I thought they suck your dick. No, that's it. And suck when you're ordering food

469
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:17,200
from the the food truck in Mexico, the food truck in Mexico and blood keeps dripping in your food

470
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:24,960
from the bodies hanging from under the bridge or when the ground beef is human. Yeah. Yeah.

471
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,560
You're like, I'm trying to eat my human sandwich and blood keeps dripping from the head that's

472
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:33,120
hanging above the. I never order the telephone. Gord. I never ordered ground beef because I

473
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:38,720
prefer meat that hasn't been on the ground. You know, I want beef that hasn't yet has been sitting

474
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:44,320
on the ground on the ground all day. I don't want beef with the car to army hammer type army

475
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:53,200
hammer. Arm hammer. Arm hammer of comedy. Army hammered. Army hammered is this alcoholic version

476
00:48:53,200 --> 00:49:00,080
of him getting army hammered. Yeah. Probably a lot of veterans. Sarah Holcomb was the drinker

477
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:04,240
at power hour last night. Oh, good. I'm good. I'm getting good people. She was. Let me tell you

478
00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:09,600
she was a draw wink. Yeah. Wink. Yeah. I don't want to be a drinker ever again. I decided

479
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:14,320
well she didn't even drink. She had one white claw. Oh, cool. She didn't interrupt anybody.

480
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:20,880
She sat there with like a bad like a like a unhappy look on her face. I'm glad they're ruining

481
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:25,360
the one unique part of that open mic. I think she might have been the worst drinker of all time.

482
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:29,040
I'm like not even lying. It's hard for me to think of another person who did a worse job.

483
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,320
I'm just happy the ruining in the spot of the drinker, you know, by doing something. I mean,

484
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:37,040
I mess it's not that sacred of a thing, Mac. I don't think it's a sacred thing. I'm just

485
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:41,520
ruin it. It's like who cares? They're just some people getting drunk that could be. She's not

486
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:46,880
the thing that she didn't drink. No, I'm just saying that's the that I think has been ruined

487
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:51,440
since they started having people who don't drink be the drinker. Also people who are gonna like

488
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:55,600
they've had all of us from the band be the drinker and it's like we were going to be there anyway

489
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,760
doing the exact same thing and none of us drink. Well, that's what we're still in a row. I did

490
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:03,920
mushrooms at least because I wanted to like participate. That's what I meant, Jason is having

491
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:08,960
people that don't drink to drinker. I want to be the drinker and have the gun there. But also

492
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:13,680
it's like I don't know who I mean they probably don't think of you because you don't go. Yeah,

493
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:17,360
they probably would have you or maybe they just don't want to have you because you annoy them

494
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:21,360
about it. Sometimes when you annoy people about stuff, it makes them deliberately not book you

495
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:25,760
because I'm like, no, fuck him. He's too annoying. Yeah, well, because every time you see them,

496
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:31,920
you ask them to be the drinker. And they probably hate that. Yeah, overly. You have. Yeah,

497
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,960
you feel like it's like a thing you do every year because I think they struggle to find the

498
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:40,720
drinker until last minute and that's why they end up with somebody like who doesn't drink as the

499
00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:44,720
drinker like why they have like Dan, they seem to be the drinker for the fifth time, even though

500
00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:49,840
he doesn't even though they don't drink and but they but they live in the same house as all the

501
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:55,760
producer. Sarah Holcomb go to the open mic. Sometimes I think she's at least out and about doing

502
00:50:55,760 --> 00:51:01,120
comedy. That's true. Yeah, I haven't been so she sees like the other producers. Yeah, I also think

503
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:05,520
they pick people based on when their birthday is. It always seems like it's the drinker's birthday.

504
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:13,040
So maybe it was Sarah's birthday. But like Dan being the drinker so much is not like Dan's an

505
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:20,560
exceptional drinker. Dan doesn't drink but writing down Joe, but Dan lives there. Well, I'm well

506
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:25,280
I should move in with them. Then you could be the drinker. No, no, I'm I'm revonding them.

507
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:30,480
I wrote on they wrote on do the C. When they ask you next time. Yeah, you should say no. I'm gonna

508
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,840
say no. Yeah. All right, I'll look forward to that happening in the next five years. Yeah.

509
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:38,320
Now I'm so going to the open mic all the time. You should and then they're gonna be like you have

510
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:44,000
better sets at power hour than probably anywhere else. I mean, you talk about open mic wise. Yeah,

511
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:51,200
yeah, endeavor. That's not true. My best sets on my paid shows life. Yeah, I honestly think you

512
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:56,640
have better sets of power hour than on quote unquote paid shows. Well, like, which are you

513
00:51:56,640 --> 00:52:04,560
referring to all of them? You know, all my paid shows. Yeah, who would do that? I got all my

514
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:11,920
paid shows when we did that. P. D. Show us for you were you were for knows. Oh, yeah. No, me, you,

515
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:17,680
I was saying me and Tina were talking about that. Oh yeah. And oh that one with the barrel. Yeah.

516
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:23,360
Yeah. Yeah, I did like the best on that one. I thought I did great. I think I did probably

517
00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:31,040
the best. I think I think Tina did the best. Tina thinks that she was the headliner.

518
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:34,880
Did the worst. Yeah. Tina thought she did really bad. I remember she was sad. She said that I did

519
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:40,240
amazing. So she said that you did better than normal. She said you did better than normal or

520
00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:45,520
you did amazing. She said she said I agree. So did she say amazing or did she say great? I don't

521
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:52,000
remember. Hmm. This is a long time. Also. Yeah, it's like I wish you got more shows. Huh? I

522
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:55,920
were having to talk about a show that happened like two years. I only do paid shows. I'm like

523
00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:01,280
so I got I had my I had people show up to see me at that show and they said I did great shout

524
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:09,520
out to Rahul. We just had a baby that he was at that show. Who? My fan. I met him at a I did that

525
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:15,440
show two brothers roundhouse and he saw me. He was accidentally there because he knew Gina Palm

526
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:21,120
from high school and then he came to see me at that whiskey barrel show because he liked my joke

527
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:26,960
about blowing up in a Sherwin Williams van. I mean, you had the best. I like that. You had

528
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:31,360
Adderall or something. You brought an actual fan. I actually had people. I have a draw.

529
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:38,800
I don't know what city we were in. Elmer, still in Illinois. We're in like Elmer Grove.

530
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:46,880
I have a draw at the small world. Yeah, I do. Who specifically goes there for you? The bikers.

531
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:52,320
The bikers who go there all the time. Not not all the time. PD says they don't go all the time.

532
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:56,880
They've been there every time I've been on it. I keep losing my draw because the guys who become

533
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:03,680
like fans of me have babies. Shout out to Adam or Bansky. Well, speaking of bikers, Hell's Angel

534
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:13,200
Chicago followed me on Instagram. My my my my my crowd is too viral. My target crowd is bikers

535
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:20,880
is motorcycle clubs. The target crowd is impotent. My target crowd is viral. You guys

536
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:26,800
want to you guys want to hear some tropical humor? Tropical. Yes. Yeah. Then go see Gina Palm tree.

537
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:33,600
Pretty good. Sharon Palm trees on my show tonight under the line. That's gonna be tropical. It should

538
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:41,840
be. I was doing another line and I was I was doing all these new jokes I had about God and the

539
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:47,280
wind started whipping and like umbrellas were getting knocked down and people were like maybe

540
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:51,520
you should stop talking about God. I was like no, I don't want to. I just kept talking about God.

541
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:56,000
It started down pouring rain and everyone had to come in in the middle of my son. Yeah, you're

542
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:01,520
getting excited. Dude. I really was. I really did fucking with God a lot. Yeah, you need to do

543
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:06,080
some kind of you need to really need some kind of demon ritual to get more in with Satan. You need

544
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:11,600
to get because God is coming for me. So I need to go to his enemy. You're gonna have to either do

545
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:17,120
some. Yeah, talk after the you're either gonna have your enemies of God. You're either gonna have

546
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:23,120
to get cleansed by a church or you're gonna have to talk to. Yeah, do some more demon rituals.

547
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:26,960
Maybe I'll talk to Sarah Holcomb. It seems like she knows how to do some kind of incantations.

548
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:30,800
You got to spend some real demon time on this. I feel like she's got a pointy hat. She wears

549
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:36,640
when she's alone at home. For sure. And I'm talking about the KKK. Oh, nice. Yeah, Sarah Holcomb

550
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:41,920
is in the KKK. White Witch should put her on the wall of ops. She's one of the first female KKK.

551
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:47,280
Well, she wanted to empower female women in every organization, including the KKK.

552
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:55,360
Shout out to all the women in the KKK. Yeah, the reasons. Yes, Queen. Yes, Queen. Yeah, we should put

553
00:55:55,360 --> 00:56:05,040
a God on the wall of ops. Yeah, we can do that. We should put Satan on the wall of the wall of fame.

554
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:10,240
Yeah. Oh, and I'll draw a picture of Muhammad and put them on the wall of ops.

555
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:14,160
I really got no problem with the guy who invited me to his wedding.

556
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:19,200
His child bride. I got him a gift. I got him a coloring book and crayons for

557
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:25,680
it. I said happy wife, happy life. Oh, nice. I got him an iPad. I said, just give this to her.

558
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,200
She'll be busy all day. You should have got to raise her. You should have got her.

559
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:36,240
I'm going to tell you about a little movie called Cars. She's going to love it. How can you not?

560
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:44,880
How could I know about cars? How can you not love cars? I've never seen it. Only the movie.

561
00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:51,680
That's good. That's good timing at sound effects, folks. No, that was great. Thanks. Did a really

562
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:59,360
good job. Come on. Was that Joe Biden? I thought it was going to be come on. Who has that?

563
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:06,480
I don't know. Come on. That's you. Maybe it was nice when we come on, man. That's what Joe Biden's

564
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:11,600
come on. I wonder if I can upload stuff into this app like when we had your voice before.

565
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:22,240
But I don't know. I haven't looked enough into it. That was never mine.

566
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:32,480
This programmable versions of this. What did you say? This programmable apps. Yeah,

567
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:37,120
I could upload whatever you wanted. I think you can on this too. Yeah, there's a lot of buttons

568
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:45,440
you probably can. I don't know. You're making me soundboard right now. Soundboard. I feel

569
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:50,640
bored. Yeah. You got anything good to say? Or are you just waiting for me to entertain you?

570
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:56,640
Well, I wanted to say that the monkey sound just now it sounded like I watched this girl win the

571
00:57:56,640 --> 00:58:01,360
first Olympic medal for the Philippines, I think. I might be getting what are you about to say

572
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:07,520
something racist? No, but I was. I thought I was, but I'm like no way. She looked like like Asian

573
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:14,080
or something in the Philippines. They are Asian. A lot of people Philippines is in Asia. A lot of

574
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:19,520
people call. I'm just saying you know what I'm saying. At first I had to hold back for a second.

575
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:25,040
I'm like because she really sounded like that after she won her gold medal. Jesus Christ. Their

576
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:31,440
first gold medal. Well, then I realized it was okay to say it, but then they speak they speak to

577
00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:37,520
Gowan in in the Philippines, which is like a mix of like Spanish and whatever native language

578
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:42,240
Tokugawa. That's not Japanese. It's like got some it's got some Spanish in it. That's why they're

579
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:48,400
like they're like weird. You know that they call Dylan Philippines because I feel like mixed

580
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:55,200
people because he's always filled with penis. I have a friend. I have a friend from the Philippines.

581
00:58:55,200 --> 00:59:01,840
He's a comic in Iowa and his joke is I'm from the Philippines where man's best friend is delicious.

582
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:08,480
From the Philippines, he legit told me a story that when he was a kid, his stepdad killed and

583
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:13,680
cooked their dad and he was just like crying. Oh my God. And I was like were you guys like

584
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:18,560
poor and going hungry? He's like, nah, I just really wanted to eat the dog. It looked good to him.

585
00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:25,440
He's like it was traumatizing. Oh, they're dog. They're dog. He did it to their dad. No, the dad

586
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:31,760
ate the stepdad. The dog. The dog. Yeah. I guess it's kind of like pigs on a farm. Shout out to

587
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:38,080
Mike and Dr. Ellis and I. They'd be a baby pig that you know my dad and his siblings would like

588
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:44,160
they would love it and then they you know they kill it. Oh, yeah. It's a hog farm. Oh yeah. The hogs.

589
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:50,240
How did that make you feel? Well, if you're used to it, you get something you probably become

590
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:54,080
known to growing up in the environment. I don't know. I think they had an affection for the dog,

591
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:58,400
though, like the hogs are probably out in the fucking style. This was like their pet. Yeah.

592
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:04,960
They have like seven dogs on my dad's farm and none of them had names. They just called them all dog.

593
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:12,880
Yeah, that's kind of cool. It's my dad's nickname. Dog. Yeah. Is he a bounty on her? Yeah. No,

594
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:18,400
he was a rugby player and they all had nicknames. Does that fade gay football?

595
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:26,160
It's actually tougher than real football. Sounds like fake gay football. Sounds like something

596
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:36,240
to do in Europe or something. Okay. That's how that's the gay. Open minded.

597
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:44,400
Oh, dude, rugby is like one of the only other sports you can get cauliflower. You're

598
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:52,480
rugby. It says something rugby. What else get your ears aren't they? I mean, don't they just wear

599
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:57,920
a helmet and wrestling or whatever and like a ear protector? Does that not work? No, I really

600
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:07,280
want to wear the helmet. He just wrote the helmet. No, you're protecting my gear. Yeah. So the guys

601
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:11,600
who get the cauliflower, it's because they're wrestling like without that on. Yeah, but like

602
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:16,160
it's wrong. Usually aren't wearing it. Well, because what they do at practice to clean the mats,

603
01:01:16,160 --> 01:01:21,280
they use cauliflower. And then if you don't wear your things, you ever get red warm, then you catch

604
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:25,600
cauliflower from the vegetable. I always thought it was called ringworm because it was like you're

605
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:34,160
in a wrestling ring, but it's actually just a circle. Yeah. You ever get that shit? Yeah,

606
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:42,880
I got it once and I was worried that they didn't see it. So you still wrestled with ringworm.

607
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:50,080
Yeah, but some of these kids would bleach it off, burn it off. Just sit out. I haven't at all.

608
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:55,520
That's what you wrestled with. It was a summer tournament. We traveled for it. I have an idea

609
01:01:56,400 --> 01:02:02,000
and it's it's just it's kind of just how do you give it? Why you have to be self like just sit

610
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:10,880
out. Okay. All right. Yo, I speaking of worms, a tapeworm, we should I should sneak one of

611
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:15,920
Dale's food, but I got to catch him eating because he was hides it. So I'll catch the daily

612
01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:20,800
just find his hidden food. It's always around. Yeah, I see an immortal food and stash it. Yeah,

613
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:25,280
yeah. He has a little hiding places. It's kind of like the movie heavyweights. He has

614
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:33,200
his bad post opens up. I watched a bunch of games. I watched dodgeball for the first time

615
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:38,400
like a couple weeks ago. It's pretty great movie kind of sucks. I mean, there's some good moments

616
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:43,920
like a few good characters, but Vince Vaughn sucks. I mean, if you it's like his acting is terrible.

617
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:49,680
It's probably when you watch it at the age that when it came out, it was great. And when you

618
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:54,800
watch it again, you get nostalgia and it's still good. What's his name killed it though? Ben

619
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:58,000
Stiller. That's why I thought of it because he's the villain in heavyweights too. It's like a similar

620
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:04,640
character. But his character is incredible. He kills it. But that's why Vince Vaughn looks bad.

621
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:09,680
Ben Stiller is so like what's his name like white goodman or something. Yeah.

622
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:17,840
Yeah. But he's a good good man is a hilarious. He really is the good guy in that movie. He's

623
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:23,440
trying to get people in shape, you know, and then somebody told me there's a DVD cut of it where

624
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:28,000
the movie ends where they get Vince Vaughn out and then the movie just ends with the global

625
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:34,400
gym celebrating. It's like an alternate ending. They just lose, but there's some events that

626
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:40,560
would have been so much better. Vince Vaughn is just really like it. Like he bet he did a

627
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:45,600
bunch of gambling or something on them. Well, he took the money. He sold his gym and then put

628
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:51,520
all the money on his gym to win. Then they won and he bought Globo. I like the Lance Armstrong

629
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:59,360
cameo. You hate it from a betting perspective. I mean, he got great odds. It was a bad bet.

630
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:07,280
It was good odds. No, that's why it was good odds or it was good pay. It was very bad odds.

631
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:13,600
He bet a great bet. Should you be allowed to bet on your own team? That's some kind of shit.

632
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:20,160
Some kind of insider. Maybe maybe he had Lance Armstrong team to win. Right. Maybe maybe he had

633
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:24,560
Lance Armstrong with the bed in for him. Oh, there you go. So he does like Lance Armstrong

634
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:29,200
because he does. He yeah and he encourages him with Lance Armstrong walks up. I did not know

635
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:34,480
who he was. I'm pretty sure that I'm pretty sure that movie came out and then they talked about

636
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:39,120
Lance and like a few years later came out the Lance Armstrong. He was using steroids. I know

637
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:43,680
he wasn't using steroids. He was blood doping, which is where yeah they take out some of your

638
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:49,200
blood. They just exchange your blood. No, they give you extra blood. They take out some of your

639
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:56,240
blood and then they put it on ice and then when you rebuild all that blood back up, you're competing.

640
01:04:56,240 --> 01:05:01,760
They give you all the extra blood. Your blood is your own blood and it's untraceable. So that's

641
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:07,120
what he was doing. Yeah, they actually faked that somebody had like a bike accident. Then they all

642
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:12,240
get on the bus and then they had a secret doctor in there giving them all extra blood. That's really

643
01:05:12,240 --> 01:05:17,600
funny. So that's like a that's like a NASCAR pit stop or you get like a it's kind of like an oil

644
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:23,760
change. Dude, this that shit is nuts. No, that's awesome. Yes, honestly. That is very genius. And

645
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:26,960
then you have like because it's like long distance. So it's all that extra blood for

646
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:32,640
oxygenating your like. Yeah. Also, he also he only had one ball so that he can go faster. Yeah.

647
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:37,280
Yeah. Like it's probably that goddamn seat. Those little those little seats. Yeah. Come

648
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:45,200
dope. Dude, there's no way that the bicycle seat is good for your balls. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah.

649
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:53,440
Yeah. Because the tiny seats. Yeah. Shout out to that guy. Shout out to tiny Lance Armstrong.

650
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:57,280
Yeah. In the movie dodgeball, it is really funny because he walks up and he's like

651
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:04,400
I'm the ethical, you know, greatest guy ever. I'm sure that they came out before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

652
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:10,400
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Because he was actually because he wouldn't do something like Lance wouldn't

653
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:15,360
do something like that after that. It's funny that did overshadow the can. They want. Yeah,

654
01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:19,120
they wanted to they have he's like, yeah, I overcame like cancer, blah, blah, blah, blah.

655
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:24,560
Yeah. After like Vince Walker, complain about once a small thing. And he's like,

656
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:28,720
and then I went on to win all these things. He's like, I competed with cancer. Yeah.

657
01:06:28,720 --> 01:06:35,360
And one that toured to France or whatever. That was a funny part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

658
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:40,080
But he's like, he says something to like, I hope you can live with that for the rest of your life.

659
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:45,920
It's really good. I liked when that I liked when the big sign fell on Patrick Zohouland.

660
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:51,360
Yeah. And it was the luck of the Irish game or whatever. I think it was Joe Kogel and his dad

661
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:59,120
ripped or a great move. Yeah. Yeah. I like ripped torn. I was pretty sad when I watched rookie of

662
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:03,600
the year, which I thought was a good movie. And I was a kid. I watched it back later. It's sad.

663
01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:09,680
Yeah. Really? Yeah. That sucks when movies suck later. Or it's almost like if that dodge ball

664
01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:16,000
you watch it so many times or the bars are all ruined for you already becomes hacky.

665
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:19,600
Yeah. Maybe it's that too. Like, yeah, maybe it's just like the jokes have been in the

666
01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:26,320
society for so long. Pineapple Express is irrelevant now. It's still cool. It's still

667
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:33,200
I was recently though. The fight scene is so good. Yeah. But it's so much of the weed comedy is

668
01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:39,680
or is like had had been overdone. And also like a lot of it was weed being illegal

669
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:46,480
about it and it's not. So it's just doesn't stand. But I feel that broke that ground or whatever

670
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:51,280
that's still hacked. Yeah. It was it was great back then, but it just doesn't stand the test of

671
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:56,880
you know the test of time. Me and my friend Ben Flores wrote a movie about like weed being legalized

672
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:01,200
and I think it's going to be irrelevant. It was like the idea was like a small time drug dealers

673
01:08:01,200 --> 01:08:06,400
were being put out of business by like corporate corporation drug drug companies. I think we

674
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:10,400
medical marijuana kind of company. I think weed might be legalized one day, at least for medical

675
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:17,600
use. Yeah, I'm hoping well I'm worried if this is being recorded in 1999. I'm worried if that

676
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:26,000
happens and pineapple Express will become irrelevant. All right, well let's close this up on that,

677
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:37,760
folks. But do you have any plugs? Fill in pineapple Express underage railroad. What the hell is that?

678
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:44,480
Do you are you the engineer of that lead to express. Oh, I did. Oh, okay. Oh,

679
01:08:44,480 --> 01:08:51,120
I speak about engineers. St. James Island, Magnus. How come goes to St. James Jackson? I'll come

680
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:57,520
sound engineers get are a lot of you called engineers. You shouldn't be able to call that

681
01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:01,840
unless you're working unless you're working on a train or because the years are always working.

682
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:06,240
I'm an engineer. Do you know that? Yeah, I think you're not a software engineer. It doesn't get

683
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:13,440
done. Engineer, you're a software guy. I'm an engineer. I can hear trains and I think unless

684
01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:19,120
you're physically working with you're an engine or something or aren't you the engineer of a train

685
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:23,360
if you're like driving the train. How is that an engineer? Because you're driving. You should

686
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:30,480
be called a train driver because you're using that you're running the engine. Oh, so if you're

687
01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:34,560
running an engine now, but not if you're driving a car. I thought engineer or somebody like builds

688
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:42,000
an engine or like designs electrical engineers, not engineer electrical engineers, not unless it's

689
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,640
electricals for an engine unless he's driving an electricity engine. Yeah, unless it's a

690
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:51,600
they're making a Tesla. He's driving a battery. They're making a Tesla engine, but they're silent.

691
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:56,960
Yeah, so an engineer. I can hear trains in the distance most of my ear to the ground to the

692
01:09:56,960 --> 01:10:03,120
earth. Yeah, if you feel the rumble, I'm reading a short story about some of the narcolepsy put

693
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:08,400
their ear to the tracks to listen and then a train. They fell asleep. I'm a dumb as it was fiction.

694
01:10:08,400 --> 01:10:15,760
This isn't real. Just some shit that somebody else made up. No flowers for algebra. Flowers

695
01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:24,320
for algebra. I like that. You've been plugged flowers for man. Oh, the the comedy bar live

696
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:31,760
show we're doing a we have a live show. Yeah, it's on September. The Ocho September 8th. Oh,

697
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:38,080
cool September 8th. That's a Sunday. Yeah, hell yeah. So nine eight and tickets are online on

698
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:43,120
comedy bar.com. Yep. September 8th. You'll see the link in the bio. I'm gonna put out some sick

699
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:51,520
promo stuff folks in Chicago. Yeah. And yeah, look out. We do a special show. It's like this and

700
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:55,760
then we'll do some other shit. Yeah, some guests and some stand up. It'll be I can tell you it's

701
01:10:55,760 --> 01:11:00,880
going to be sick. It's going to be bad. It's going to be I'm going to bring our own sound equipment.

702
01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:08,560
Yeah, it's gonna be the bad the baddest thing you've ever seen. Yes. And I'm thinking. Yeah, I have

703
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:16,320
ideas. 98 September 8th bad comedy. Yeah, just just think about and we promise Dylan will not kill

704
01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:22,320
the bookers. Think about all right. No broke bitches better guys. Think about it this way.

705
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:26,160
Think about the dates or monopoly board. I don't know what that means, but it scares me script.

706
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:31,520
Think about the dates as a monopoly board. Okay, and you're playing and you land on 9 11, which

707
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:36,880
is chance. Okay, it says go back to your spaces. You go back three spaces. That's the day we're

708
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:45,120
doing the show 98. Go back three spaces from 9 11. Okay. How about a rest in peace wall?

709
01:11:45,120 --> 01:11:50,880
Wall of well, we got wall of fame and then like rest in peace like Ike and then Crypt Daddy.

710
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:57,040
We can do that over here. But not for dad. I can just move stuff around. Yeah, we get it.

711
01:11:57,040 --> 01:12:06,320
Dad people. Rest in peace. Yeah, we can put a hamtallon on there. Yeah, just like for like two

712
01:12:06,320 --> 01:12:12,720
years from now. Yeah. Like a triple heart attack. Yeah, well, he's afraid of death now. That's what

713
01:12:12,720 --> 01:12:22,000
his new hours about good because his mom done. Yeah. Oh, baby. Your mom alive. Yeah, me too.

714
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:29,360
Yeah, mine too. Dude, I fuck you same. Such a loser. Are you guys? Yeah, easier to live.

715
01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:37,840
Yeah, I'm too fucking. All right, folks, follow me. Bad boy comedy and

716
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:46,640
so mean of us for no reason. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good way to close it off.

717
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:57,520
We have a live show September 8th, folks, a comedy bar. You'll see the link. But really get a ticket

718
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:04,000
now. This will sell out. This will sell out. I repeat. So make sure that your tickets now.

719
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:09,520
But it was packed last time and this time it's gonna be packed to the gills. It's gonna be more

720
01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:15,520
packed and stacked than I'd even venture to say Adam Cosslow. It's probably gonna be over fire

721
01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:20,800
capacity and probably comfortable for everyone and probably get raided by the fire department

722
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:26,560
because we're gonna set the stage on fire. And it's gonna be so hot. Yeah, it's gonna be so hot.

723
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:34,000
So we're gonna wear skin tight. Yeah, skin tight. I'm pretty sure skin. Yeah, that was skin tight.

724
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:38,720
How do you dance in those pants? Babe? How do you get down in those pants, baby?

725
01:13:39,520 --> 01:13:45,200
You can start by buying me a drink. That's a line from Austin Powers by showing me. He says

726
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Heather Graham was so hot in that movie. Oh, yeah, those are your hottest movie.

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She says that's making a bold statement. All right, folks, make sure you watch

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Austin Powers by who shagged me before the next episode. What do I gotta do to get shagged around

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you? Yeah, to catch a, hey, we'll catch the folks.