Hey everybody, welcome to the bad comedy podcast. My name is camera Harris and I am the first
female Asian candidate. My name is don't have any Harris and I'm the first bald candidate.
Oh nice. It's bald month. We're only having bald guests this month folks and then of course
we're here. That's why I'm voting for don't have any Harris.
My name is fail son and I have no hair. Failure. Yeah. Is a full out of hair successful athlete.
I don't know if you guys knew this but so Dylan's bald but he actually used to have
a lot of hair but we did this prank. We put nair in his shampoo and then and then solve
okay and okay. I'm out and I was like you're bald.
Never. It was kind of a bad comedy. Practical
jokers crossover thing is a prank. Yeah. But I guess it was permanent. Yeah. Yeah. I never
think there was permanent until then. Well I also burned his head like very close all
the you burn men into it. I made it permanent. Yeah. So folks we had a lot to talk about
today. I want to talk about science. What's the what's the weather. You have a guy in
science. You have sex with a guy. That's true. So I want instead of science let's do a seance
seance. What is this. I'm giving up on you. Is that what it is. Yeah. What is this seance
is that like a like a prayer like a prayer. No I was when you talked to the ghost. I like
ghosts. I like Casper. So you ever heard the term a nonce.
No I'm thinking about this. It's like a how what British people call. We're on the free
episode. They get dummy. No. Like an hour word. I shouldn't have brought this up. I
don't even know if I can say that. Okay. I don't even do it. It's a word for describing
a Drake type. Oh just mixed. Yeah. They like to have women of a certain age on stage. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Were you guys ever in. We guys ever in child pageants for your child. Yeah.
Yeah. I used to get you know they used to dress me up and dress and you know I'd sing.
I was a I was a I was a model as a baby but I was the other. I was the before. I was like
a whole I was a disgusting looking baby. Didn't they use your pants for the Jared Fogle before.
Sam's joke. No. Beauty pageant. Shout out to Ham Talent following Nathan Lund on all
platforms folks. Oh I did. I was an ugly baby model. It's hard. There's less spots. They
want hot babies but they need an ugly baby because I'll cry when I get the other person's
baby food. Well yeah. The competitors baby food. I'm the one who's ugly and cries. Well
they also need you around to make the other hot babies look hotter. I was also saying
racist stuff from a very early age. You like the desert. You like that. Help me be a disgusting
to people. You're like the duck. You're like the the duff baby the designated ugly baby
ugly. He was the ugly fat baby. I was the fuggly duckling. What is he want. What's your
one wish. You wish for world destruction. Yeah. Jason did your family always tell you
that like ugly duckling always grows up to be a swan. But you just stay to be a bigger
ugly duckling. I got much hotter in the face and much less hot in the body. So I was a
baby. Well you got you got cool. I went from a butter face to a butter belly. With your
weight is so evenly spread. I wonder how much one of your legs weighs. I'm like a lot.
You have an elephant like a good proportions people say you do. You have excellent proportions.
That's why I want to see how much one of your legs weighs because I like Adam. I like good
portions. Adam Quaslo is not like it's it's all. Well yeah you know what it is. I was
big my whole life that helps you like distribute your weight whereas someone like Adam Quaslo
was like skinny as a kid. So now he's big and he looks like his his back is like a dolly.
He has to lean back to walk around. When you got a really heavy load you lean it back.
That's why his neck is always back because it's like he's got a dolly full of cement
blocks. You know the ask if you want the yeah no I think he walks with his chest out like
that because he thinks that he's like from the Gilded Age and he's a billionaire like
a Rockefeller. Well it's a good side effect. But that's yeah he thinks he's and how I think
it's because he's carting around a heavy trunk. I was listening to a podcast and they were
saying that someone else invented the computer and not Charles Babbage. Sorry to me to swear.
Yeah. No it was I mean I'll be honest Charles Babbage invented the concept of a computer
and then somebody else made a computer later. What was her name. It wasn't. It sounds like
Turing but it wasn't. I mean there was John Von Newman was part of it. He was like a mathematician
some of his stuff led to computing. Can you Google it on your phone. Oh you want to know
who made the first computer or I think Charles Babbage gets the concept. Yeah I mean obviously
I'm a Babbage Patch kid and it's not going to change. I know that he had a huge part in
the computer and so he's cool. Probably the coolest guy in the world cooler than like
a Andre 3000 Obama. Whatever people think are cool. Stone Cold Steve Austin Pitbull.
Mr. Yeah Mr. Worldwide probably one of the coolest guys. One of our own Andre 3000 ran
into him at the airport. I don't know that's pretty cool but maybe it would have been cool
before he played the flute. I mean I just mean just what is he Peter Piper. Just play
this saxophone. Lisa played this saxophone and she was always a childhood crush. I mean
everything is saying Charles Babbage when I Google it. There's one other name. We're
all trying to plug the females that led the way computing. Maybe the creator of the first
computer. This on the moon. I mean he did. He came up with an analytical machine. He called
it analytical. My ass. There was a name that it's reminded me of Alan Turing but it wasn't
Turing. It was like burring or boring boring. Yeah. Computers not boring though because
Charles Babbage is cool. We're Babbage Patch kids. No computers are cool. Yeah I mean if
they're cool. I got a computer right here. Yeah. Can't live with it. Can't live without
it. If you spill stuff on it then yeah you can't live with it. Yeah if you spill stuff
on the buttons and stuff you know that's a computer. It computes sound and noise. I'm
a computer but does not compute with me. A lot of people would say that. Yeah. Honestly
this first computer you made looks fucking sick. It looks like a printing process like
a torture device from a movie saw and probably all you put somebody's hand. I bet all I did
was one plus one. Yeah it does one plus one. He was to be bitch. I know she's trying to
take me to a torture. Hey careful with the careful with it. You don't want to get demon
timed. I feel like you can only get you. Yeah I got to keep looking. You can only do it.
You can only post shocking content if it's like like people getting blown up in war and
stuff but you can't say like swear words. You got to get people to sign some before
they even look at our page. Well I can mark it as like an adult thing but then it really
lowers like where it pushes it. He had a son named Henry Babbage who completed a simplified
version of the analytical machines computing unit. Maybe he's like it's like the Hickox.
He's called. Who's cooler. Who's cooler. Charles and Henry Babbage or or Hickok 45
and John Hickok. I plead then Leonardo Torres Cuivido from Migos wrote a brief history of
Babbage. Wait wait wait. More time Leonardo Torres Cuivido from me for Migos I think.
Oh Quavo. Yeah. The Migos. Wow. I had no idea that a hand in the computer. I was trying
to push the Migos chips your way when I've got the wrap chips on the Migos. My way. I
think those were the hot ones though. No. Yeah I don't like that. I don't like hot.
Yeah. Bad for my cronies. I could say I have cronies. That sounds cooler. It's not. It's
not. Yeah it sounds like I have like a. Sounds like the goonies the groonies. Yeah. Well it
sounds like I have like a group of a bunch of kids with like henchmen henchmen that work
for me. Yeah. They be cool. No you asked me earlier if I want to be your assistant. I
said no. I want to be your goon. You want to be one of my goons. Was it the. It's a
paid as a paid position. How much is it. Were you trying to think of this guy named
this guy named Barry. It's contract work. Oh not another contract. The Cliffordied Barry.
There have all been good deals. Antanasoft Barry computer. The Antanasoft Barry computer
the ABC in 1942. No it's a short last name. Barry computer from shorter than every no it
sounds like Turing. It's not Turing. I mean it's the closest thing that's come out. Who
had the computer. Who created the first modern computers. What were those. There's there's
so many names on this dude. Yeah. They're computers. Last chat. G. B. T. Well you're
Rogan showed me a picture. Okay. He showed everyone. Well there was a quantum entanglement
what it looks like. A yin yang symbol. I don't want to know what any of that is. Yeah you
don't want to know. If you say it's going to mean all you have to do is say quantum.
I don't want to hear the rest of the sentence or else I'll I'll KO you. Okay. Not you I'm
saying like yeah no the people out there don't say quantum near me. I don't want to know
about it. Maybe Conrad's use. Then you think maybe you find out the yin yang symbol symbolizes
something we just discovered. Well it would have said it's Charles and Henry. Maybe China's
been ahead of this for thousands of years. Probably that explains the pyramids. Yeah.
Maybe the pyramid scheme built the pyramids. Mac you might know some of that. I think actually
Donald Trump is truly wouldn't he's going to build the period and he's going to make
the aliens. What he's going to make. No no I was talking to him. Oh he might make the
pyramids pay for. He's going to make the aliens pay for the pyramids. The pyramids pay for
the aliens. Donald Trump is going to make the aliens pay for the pyramids. Yeah. He's
going to make the Red Sea pay for Brent road to walk. Right. Roe part of the red sea. He
walked the Red Sea. Guys if you want more on that. Patreon.com. Bad comedy. Every episode
ever made history of the earth and all the guest episodes and a very funny one that we
did this week. Wow. Just a lot going on. We did a 20 minute break in between and I was
laughing the whole time because of a joke from the because we did the guest episode first
little behind the scenes. I was calling to get my adorabra prescription and I was taking
Adorabra with that. Uh huh. Yep. It's just you know just sometimes life is the yin and
the yang of life. Yeah. Keep pushing. The one thing I don't like about the yin and the
yang symbol is that it's like black and white. It's like it's like it's like it's like segregation.
And then it's also inclusion on the other side. True. Maybe it's a little bit. But it's
only a little bit of inclusion though. Well maybe that's the right amount. Maybe that's
where we got to start. I remember as a little kid. Maybe that's a that's start to better
our society and maybe it's an end and racial relations and it's a means to an end. It's
it's a it's a I mean we have to be solution based when it comes to race relations and
it comes to how we need real solutions. Solution based not problem based. Let's let's get down
to the nitty gritty. Figure out what's going on. Figure out why Stonewall Jackson got killed
by friendly fire that wasn't friendly. You know that doesn't sound friendly at all. Someone
dies. So we can that's the first thing we got to figure out if we're going to figure
out race really. You could shoot somebody in a friendly way. Ever played. Ever played
laser. Oh yeah. Just a friendly do maybe they thought they were playing laser tag with
a what's the name. The wrong guns. Colonel Mustard. Who is that. I killed Colonel Mustard
who is that NFL player. All my friends killed Colonel. I think I think it was an NFL player
that went to go stay away from my hot dogs were in Chicago. Colonel Colonel catch up.
People say don't belong on hot dogs. Don't belong on a glizzy glizzies. But oh don't
ask me about Colonel Red Red Relish. Yeah. Glyzzy's Screva. Shout to Screva. Glyzzy.
Yeah. No but I was going to lead into something very important. Distracted you with a lot
of glizzy. Yeah. I glizzy got me excited. Simone Biles was even posting about glizzy.
She said if there's a glizzy I'm going to find it. So you know why her name is Simone
Biles. Why because she has a lot of bile in her stomach from all the glizzies. Yeah.
Yeah. It doesn't matter. Yeah. She eats even more than Chris Grievo sometimes. Yeah. She
had seven hot dogs for breakfast. And then she's and then she's longboarded to lunch
with his wife. Her wife. Yeah. It's amazing. That's what you can do. Do you think Kamala
Harris is trans. So probably everyone's trans these days. Are you trans. No. No we need
that. Are you trans. Not trans. Well you're robots. So you're just binary regardless.
I'm not trying to think. Yeah. I was trying to think of any. I used to be here on one.
Well. El Exlution loves Jim Nasty. Jim Nasty. Yeah. Jim is his boyfriend. You know the next
level beyond binaries. Quantum. And you resist. Quantum anything. Once you start saying quantum
anything you're going to say after a knock I can never care about. It hurts his stomach.
He's going to have to take some quantums. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to have to take some
Xanax which sounds like an alien Xanax. Xanax would be a good non binary Xanax man. Xanax
Xanax man. I'm not binary. My name is Xanax Xanax. And around the case they're going
to take a nap. I'm really Yoda. I'm really Yoda and I used to smoke. And then I took
Chantix and I died from the side effects. Shout out to Chantix. I was a little kid I used
to get bullied for being fat but then I got advice they said just tell them this I'm fat
but I could take Ozenpic. You're ugly. You'll be ugly forever.
That's what I learned. I remember when I was a fat little boy a fat big boy. Before I had
my glow up. Now you're a big big boy. Yeah. But then back in the day though I remember
someone saying like just tell them like you know what they make it fun you you know I
could I could lose the weight. I want. Now it's like a pep talk. I could lose the weight
if I want. That was it. And then you say you say it's a choice.
I just don't want to. I like it. I like the way it's like I was I was bigger and I was
bigger in middle school but I was a very effective offensive lineman so I kind of didn't want
to get skinnier. Yeah. A line. Yeah. But then I went through puberty and stretched out a
little bit and then just flew up and got crows get two assholes. You know how everyone grows
up coming of age. In the coming of age movie the lion realizes
maybe I want to do this. Yeah. Well then I lose weight. Two assholes
it's really just like a hole in the straw right like it's not actually. Yeah. It's not
like two different pooping devices. One device that has a hole. It's like so like yeah the
rectum like a tuber comes down and it's a cut off of it that went to the outside and made
a hole. Do you ever wish I didn't heal. Well that was my well now I don't have my super power
of having two assholes anymore. Yeah. You know two is always better than one. You know
if it's having two assholes. Yeah. I mean it's it's it's it's it's it's
it's the X man once I once that second asshole closed up.
When they heard that they were pissed that you did. Sorry. No it was the sex man. It was
the sex man. They were the DP. All right. That's good.
I'm trying to I'm trying to Eminem myself right now. Did you ever see that movie. I'm
trying a little rabbit myself and make a joke. Did you ever see that movie about the fighter
who freed China DP man. I saw my I saw my left foot.
By your right ass man. I was good and nobody got it. Is that my love. You know it man.
Is that my love. It's a really famous like Chinese fighter movie. Oh yeah. But it's like
historical historical figure. We already have we already have a podcast
member compromised by the CCP instead of it man. I called them DP.
Was that me. And so it's the explain it all. DP dough is a pretty good calzone place. Okay.
Okay. Jason have you been have you been compromised
by the communist Chinese party. I mean I did one time get stuck in a finger trap for weeks.
Oh really. That's how they arrest people. I've been compromised.
Yeah. People didn't follow COVID vaccines. They were just you know cemented in their
car and then they would Chinese finger trap them. Yeah.
It's right in front of your face. They call it a trap. Yeah. What's up. I got arrested
there. The Chinese finger trap. Yeah. What do we call it a finger trap and you know I
guess I'll put my finger in this. They did all my fingers. They did all my fingers.
I was like he did all your fingers. Yeah. I was like I'm not like a killer or something
like you don't got to go this far with it. It's funny. Fun with you. Chinese thumb
trap. Now you can't use your phone. Oh. Call it right in front of their face. You can use
your nose though. Sometimes I use my nose on my phone. Why are rappers always singing
about Chinese finger traps. You guys are like we're trapped. I was hanging out in a trap.
Yeah. What's a trap like a trap door. This is a Chinese finger trap. Do you think any
trap houses have trap doors. I think just the front door is technically a trap door.
That's true. Well probably. No probably. They probably do have a trap door at stash houses
to hide drugs. But I want to get a trap door so bad. That's why I want to buy a house.
They got a single family home type of house instead of a condo so I can make like a trap.
You have like a cellar where you can hide your daughter who's been missing the body.
No. No. I want to. I want to. I want to things. I want. I want. I want a prank trap door.
A prank trap door. And then I want such a weird story. And then I want a bookcase where
you pull one book. The book happens to be Stein. It sounds like Stein. And then you
pull on Stein. And then it opens to different. Full of memorabilia. No. That'll be the podcast
dude here. Full of memorabilia. No. Full of the wall of ops. If I did it this is how
we really should put a stitler on the on the wall of ops. But that's a lot of work and
you know. Also he did he did a lot of stuff. He did a lot of health economy. Invented the
highway. He invented roads. Speaker. He did invent. Anthony Hernandez has been saying
that on stage. He invented very. That he invented the highway. That might like Kanye West said
that on Elks Jones podcast. That awesome interview. That's a good one. Yeah. I think it is somewhat
based on facts like he invented some like type of roadway that is more effective than
others. Yeah. Because they were change the world. They had supply chains for the war.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what he was doing. Yeah. Yeah. They're they're also they're they're
too industrious to a point where they used it for Janet Jackson aside. Jenna. I have
a friend named Jenna. Her last name is Jenna Jackson is alive. Yeah. No but now I was trying
to I was trying to say the word hen henna hide. I was disappointed when I watched it.
It's about an anaheim. They didn't talk about the billionaire. She married for a brief time.
Yeah. In like Saudi Arabia. Really. And then like had a baby with him even though she was
like I think older. I think if the third right. They didn't cover it at the dock. I think
I think the third right. I was only interested in third. The third right kind of like illustrates
how when keeping it industrious goes wrong because like because then they would use all
like the trains and then these these third psych and then I trick you for a third time
and then these camps so they could they could hurt more people. You know. So that's when
we keep an industrial goes next time I see him. It's going to be the third right.
What about Japanese pick on the back row. What about Japanese people when keeping it
honorable goes wrong and they have to commit Spoku show. Keeping it honorable goes wrong.
Yeah. And that's just every time that they have to honorably commit Spoku.
Whether they do either thing. Your daughter married a person of another race.
Yeah. Time to. Sometimes people would be like no I will do it instead of them. They're more
important. So you did like it. So yeah. So either you do it honorably or somebody can
step in but the person who's accusing you of the thing of being dishonorable they have
to accept it. Like now you have a parody of it man is deep.
What's a parody is like a parrot named D. Parodies nuts.
That's. Parate. Parate. Parate is also parity. P. A. R. I. T. Y.
Recently that has to do with that has to do that like normally with sports to no. Parate.
Yeah. Parity is. Parat is when you're like stacked teams and not stacked teams and there's
much parity between them and that's why they have a salary cap and no cap. They used to
have no cap. Then they got salary caps. Bald Cap. We should do a bald cap episode.
We should have some bald caps that I bought for to do a bald. You have to do it for this
month. Okay. So okay. So I'm a whole drawer full of bad comedy bullshit when we haven't
on any of these two bald guys or names start with a B. You probably know who they are.
They're actually BB is their initials for both of them.
BB. We have one of a BB. Bobby Buds and like Burkhart.
BB BB. When we have one of them on the B Butterfinger BBs.
I think it's not that I think when we have what we're giving away a secret. They won't
listen. Bobby Bobby. I bet Bobby listens. Huge gets Bobby's.
I don't. What does Bobby have to get from this. I don't know. Why would he listen to
this. He only thinks about himself. I don't know.
We're talking about. No but he knows so selfish. Popular.
He's watched every single one of our clips. I wouldn't be surprised if you listen to the
podcast. He's probably bored or something like he.
He hasn't once pressed the like button on one of our clips and he knows every one of
our clips. Like word for word. So he apologized in his story the other day
for what because he said he offended some people talking about Chepo or Roan or whatever.
What the hell is that. That's what he said when he saw her.
He said I thought I was a fan and then I saw her and I said never mind. People got mad.
Because he's talking about we know anything you're talking about.
Chepo Roan is I guess I'm going to look it up.
Chaperone. Yeah. Pretty much Chaperone. The name of Chaperone.
Chapel Hill. Her name is basically Chappelle. Okay.
Well whoever that is. Whoever that is. F you.
But that screw you. Bobby. The artist formerly known as him was thought
he was fucking with their music and then he looked her up and said nope.
Never mind not for me. And then some people started he started pissing people off in his
story. In his story. Yeah.
And his next story was saying you know what I'm sorry guys.
I guess I pissed some people off. Okay. Well I have a verdict.
He backed down from his real stand. We're going to have no jury.
I mean there's just some like this is going to be a bench decision here on Bobby.
He may be a real big deal. I'm going to have to make a.
I have no idea what you're talking about but the Chepo Roan person is just like a young
attractive girl like what's wrong with her. Well I guess you like where's the makeup.
That's your problem. I think that's the problem.
She's a lesbian potentially. Oh like this lesbian loser.
I mean she just looks like a pop star. Well I don't understand it all.
I'm like pop star. I have a verdict on Bob Euler.
He looks like he listened to the band Boston. Hey the verdict.
He listened to Taylor Swift. Hey the verdict. The verdict is an unbobbular.
He would listen to a boys are back in town. He wouldn't be making fun of Taylor Swift.
His favorite song is boys are back and down. Guys the charge on Bob Euler is is being a
coward for for apologizing on a story. Guilty. Sorry Bob.
What's that about man. Coward. Stick with your.
Yeah stick with your gums. I like that. Yeah next time don't venture out.
Just listen to. I like what you say. Boston and boys are back
in town. I like what people say stick with your guns.
More than a phrase. Van Halen and shit. I feel like I'm carrying two guns.
Jump. Whatever someone says stick with your guns.
I feel like I'm carrying two guns. It's pretty cool.
People call me a son of a gun. I guess my dad's a gun.
Well actually you could probably call John Hackeye after that.
His dad's essentially a gun. His dad's a gun guy.
Is this Bobby Buds? Buds.Bobby.
Yeah it was a hack or hacker one that someone made.
He's a hacker. It's who is Bob. I don't know.
It's dumb. I told him I'm taking the name Bobby Buds if he keeps using Bobby Euler.
No you should definitely take the name Bobby Buds.
Copyright it. Yeah.
Because that's going to blow up some. That's going to be Chappelle Ronesome.
Blake. Blake Michigan. That's never going to go anywhere.
Sorry I said that too. You think you started using his name because
they're like hey man you should take advantage of your Jewish name.
Like that'll help you to show business. No. Yeah.
But he was a resistance. Nobody in show business ever changes
their Jewish last name to anything else. Yeah that's true.
But they don't ever change their name to like something like Bobby Buds.
John Stewart. John Stewart did.
His real last name is Lee. Well you got to think.
Wait that's my joke. A bunch of people did.
Like tons and tons of people have. Yeah.
Like people like Green Blast like the worst names that have like blasts.
You know Mark Cuban isn't Cuban. You know what he is.
What. Jewish. He's not Cuban.
No he's Jewish. What. Wait hold on. Hold on. What the.
What the heck. Why isn't his name Mark Jewish.
Yeah I should be Mark Jewish. My whole life I thought he was Cuban
and that's why I liked him. Because I mean I support anyone that is able to escape.
Oh because he's cute. I support anyone that's able to escape
that communist regime. Make it here. Build it on your own you know.
His name is Chabinsky. But he's Jewish the whole time.
Yeah. So how about Eastern European Jewish descent originally named Chabinsky.
That's not too bad. I guess. Bob Euler sounds like.
It's close to Cuban I get it. Mark Chabinsky.
Popular. Bob Euler.
Sounds like a hockey player like Wayne Gretzky and Mark Chabinsky.
Yeah. If your name is together.
Yeah Jason have you heard the song popular from the song Wicked.
It's like popular. I've seen Wicked but I don't remember that.
So what about. So it's Bob Euler. You're gonna be Bob Euler.
So he's trying to escape that for years. And he couldn't even hold it up.
And the song is about like teaching someone to like be popular but we're gonna teach him
how to do stand up. He's still denying you who is Bob Euler.
It's him. His dad runs a toffee factory. There's grandpa that makes billions of dollars.
He's literally really want to talk to factory but it's all toffee. It's all butterworth.
As we establish in the in the guest episode I like toffee.
Yeah. Big toffee.
I like coffee toffee. I like toffee.
It's coffee. It's coffee flavored toffee. And it kind of has that you know it rhymes.
It's almost the same exact word twice. So you can't you can't you can't bash it you
know and if you can't beat them join them. I say with Russia and China can't beat them
join them. Why don't why don't why don't we just join that side and just be like.
Yeah. Well you try to say I can't beat them. Yeah. So.
Oh no no no. No I'm not saying we can't beat them. Okay.
What I'm saying is strategically we should just join them.
Yeah. And then and then because we just it's just better to just listen.
France they're annoying and gay. Okay. The British.
Yeah. And they and they look down on us even though we've saved them a thousand times.
The British obviously who cares about them because we we kicked them out.
They betrayed us. They're traders. They're traders. They try to.
We were funding. They even tried to get us again in the war of 1812.
And so we were like stop. And then and then. Okay.
So who else we let them still do their thing and then they turn.
And then who else would we betray Germany X Nazis. Easy.
The small countries they don't matter. Okay. So that's about it.
Italy they were X Nazis. So.
America. Japan.
America. They were access. Yeah.
Germany. We're kind of. Yeah.
So I say we join Russia China. And then. Yeah.
We'll be good. I'm done.
I just think about how many newt you have. I don't see the issue.
Get more nukes. Yeah. Three headed dog. That's bigger than
any other. Yeah.
I mean we'll just be an autocracy with Donald Trump at the helm for maybe a hundred years
at sex hotel and server is that dude. Exactly.
What would they call it. They would call it the axis.
The they'll call us the severest of power. The axis of evil.
Oh. Even this constellation in the sky won't be as big as we will be.
Yeah. And it can be like it gives a shit about the stars.
It can be led by glad we're doing but he doesn't we should nuke the sun.
We should nuke the sun.
If I like that because then there would be then there would be no tides anymore and stuff.
Yeah. Women would stop having their periods. Yeah.
And then and then you could have consequence free sex and and then the period and those
and those get rid of that dream works.
The logo thing because it won't make sense. It won't even make sense anymore.
It's a very good. Eclipse is a clip. So we join Russia China.
Nuke the moon. Sun Sun the sun. No.
That's too far. We're going to go.
I like it. It's kind of cool.
Did you hear we're going to go to the sun. We're going to Polish astronauts.
They're trying to hear about that.
You know shout out to the Polish Polish astronauts are trying to go to the sun.
Really hard. They're going to go at night.
So it's kind of a Trojan horse. Modern day Trojan.
The sun will never see it coming. Yeah.
Yeah. So I mean I don't mind what Scandinavia.
OK. Bye. Yeah.
I'm fine. Scandinavian.
Bye. The Indians are going to go to planet Tumurik.
Honestly. Honestly. Germany would probably join us because we all know that deep down
they're all they all want to be fascist anyway.
You know they've done all these wars.
So it would be a big fascist conglomerate led by Putin.
But he's going to shave his head because he already was kind of like Dr.
Evil. You know who's the fascist at towns.
Is he.
It's according to Michael Cooper.
Well OK. I'm everyone's a fascist according to Michael Cooper.
And I go you hear that.
I'd your fascist.
And goes I don't know what a fascist.
Well that's because he's from Jupiter.
Right. He sure is.
I was just from Jupiter. We're Cassius.
Yeah. How Cassius Clay.
Yeah. You know it's hilarious how we have less nukes than Russia.
But we have like way upgraded like way better ones.
I would say it's a Larry.
Pretty hilarious.
I'd say it's a problem.
I mean I mean nukes in general are a problem.
How do we ramp up the new production.
No I. Well no because I listen to Dan Carter.
We're not allowed to make new ones since the nonproliferation agreement which I think you
inspired.
To make new.
But.
If we.
Yeah. Watch me.
Yeah.
What are you going to do about it.
Try and stop me.
The enemy of our enemy is our friend and our enemy is not having a bunch of nukes and enemy
kids so we can join Russia and then we'll have all the nukes pretty much.
I listened to the Dan Carlin podcast about nukes and they actually made me scared.
Wait.
Wait Jeff Garland.
No.
Dan Carlin.
I don't mind getting.
I mean if you get nuked you just probably.
Jeff Garland is always good to have around if there's a vampire.
Is that Garland.
It's a Garland.
I'm thinking.
Jeff Garland.
Jeff.
Jeff Garland.
I'd still want him around.
Jeff Garland is my favorite.
Stand up comedian because he does that.
He was the famous comedian who said all the slurs remember you they say all the slurs.
Yeah.
And then he also.
I think that was George Garland.
No.
I think it was George Garland.
Jeff Garland does hardcore history.
Great podcast.
Yep.
Jeff Garland.
Dan Garland did that one.
No.
Jeff Garland.
Oh my bad.
Yeah.
How about instead of Bill Hicks.
Bill Hickok.
Okay.
Yeah.
Should we call John and ask him.
Jesus.
Nah.
He never picks up.
We'll see.
He knows better.
You try to call him.
No.
It's a Sunday.
He's never picks up.
He's right.
We've called him on the podcast.
He's probably a church.
Well he used to pick up.
Let's call someone that would never be in church.
Dylan Roof.
Chris Damon.
Yeah.
Chris Damon.
He'll probably be a Satan church.
He might be at the anti-church.
Yeah.
Satan church.
I just don't know.
I remember Elon talking about it out.
We could have just nuked all the countries.
We just taken control of every country and we didn't.
What were we thinking?
Yeah.
We had the nukes.
No one else had nukes.
We could have showed no mercy.
Yeah.
But we showed mercy.
But then we're overextended.
It's nice that we have our own content pretty much.
Too big to fail.
It's like Amazon.
Yeah.
Well the problem, well, now we'd be killing the Roman Empire.
We'd be too expanded.
Well, what we're doing, what we should be doing, we're strategically, is proxy wars
and territories.
We should have gone back in time and me, you and Jason could take over the Roman Empire
now with just three machine guns and enough ammo.
I mean, yeah.
How much ammo do we need?
How much can we take back cheaply?
How much can we carry?
I'm getting pretty strong from building the deck.
Because if we're creative, you don't need that many bullets.
You just show the right people.
The only thing is, I don't know how far he can hike.
Yeah, no, it's time travel.
It'll be a whole nother issue.
Logistically.
I don't know if they'd be able to beam him through.
No, I don't know.
The wormhole is only so big.
It's built for a worm.
Also it's funny, you could go back in time and just with one modern tank, you just take
out the whole Spartan army.
And that's the dream, really.
Because they can't get in.
What are they going to do with spears?
Yeah, good luck.
I mean, I guess they could shove spears into the gun thing, but then you just shoot.
No, and you'd have to have men brave enough to do that.
I don't know if they make those anymore back then.
Yeah, they don't make, maybe some, they don't make like maybe special forces, some special
forces that are like, I'm willing to die, whatever.
Yeah, special term.
I want to see, I want to look up like what current Japanese special forces there are.
Because I know they still have the honor code, not to the extent they did back in the day.
I just think honor is so beautiful.
He can change everyone's life.
Honor.
And they can barely say it and it can still change their whole life.
I know.
They say like, like Hannah, kind of like, Anna, Anna, Hannah.
This is something all those parents that they don't have the bumper sticker on their
car that their kid was on the honor roll means their kid had to commit Topoko.
Yeah, it's just like, where are the parents with the, my kid was a Kamikaze pilot.
Yeah.
No one bumper sticker to say that.
Yeah.
One time I had to, I had to commit.
Kamikaze pilot.
I had to commit Supuku.
Kamikamikamikamikamala Harris.
Kamikaze Harris.
I had to commit Supuku.
So I ate a lot of soup, a lot of hot soup, but I thought I was going to die.
But I just failed Supuku attempt.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's actually, that's scary.
Yeah, I know.
Have you failed at it?
Because I mean, it's pretty hard to fail at it.
He commits a Pogu for attention.
In the traditional way, you have a second guy that decapitates you.
Whoa, the attention battle in Japan.
And you get to pick your second, you know, it's normally your best friend too, which
is kind of funny.
I heard he attempted to just for attention.
It's like, I will honorably cut off my best friend's head.
I was like, no, I want someone else to do that.
What?
I have a pact with my buddy, Jared in England, shout out first patron.
He, we have a bet that whoever dies first, the other one has to get a tattoo, a large
tattoo of the other person's face on the back of their calf.
That's weird.
Well, he's, I went to high school.
He lives in England now.
He's from here.
He's only been there for a few years.
It's a trader.
Well, I packed with the trader.
No, no, no, no trader.
I'm a trader.
I'm a trader trading securities trader.
You're trading securities with them.
No, I can't because he's in England.
You have a pact with a total trader to the US.
Well, it's a guess.
We guess how he ended up there.
The old ball and chain made him go there.
What the hell?
Fucking.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you can't talk about the queen.
You can't blame him.
He's beautiful.
He's clean.
You know, does own the real queen.
But now Asia's going to get on Lynn Jones.
Sounds like a good movie.
If you ask me looking for a Southeast passage, let's talk about it.
About sexuality.
Question.
Is that Silk Road indeed?
Thank God.
Question.
Is that that award that the Golden Gorilla?
That's the word you get at the event, the billionaire thing.
What?
What a word.
Shout out to Pete Diddy.
Yeah.
That was Pete Diddy's event, right?
I think it was.
What was?
Yeah.
No, I got lent that from.
We don't want to show his ass.
No.
It broke up.
Yeah.
It's got two assholes.
Well, I did it on purpose that it would match me.
So yeah, it reminds me of that video where the gorilla runs in and shows his ass to the
camera.
This is solid gold and legitimately is what they give you at the billionaire B club.
It's very cool.
Yeah.
This is a video on Instagram where two monkeys come with a stretcher and they put the third
monkey on the stretcher and they try and lift it and the monkey just falls through the
middle and then the monkey is going on the stretcher just stands up like he was never
hurt.
He's a prank.
What are you crazy video?
What do you what do you consume other than people with downs and animals doing weird
things?
I don't consume people with downs.
What does that even mean?
Consume.
I mean, you eat people.
I've watched a lot of animal videos sometimes as a consumer of media.
Here, I'll tell you.
I'll just describe what I mean.
Yeah, there's consumers and this is one of my favorites.
I thought they were just a bunch of monkeys and they're like walking together.
You were sitting.
Yeah, it's kind of cool.
Yeah, you see they're all they're all quite gay.
No, that's really cool.
Yeah, that's I got it.
That's like an elephant.
It happens in nature.
Elephant walk is.
I see one here.
Andre pretends to get this is it.
So we put a frog on the back of a turtle and the turtle is running around the room.
That's pretty cool.
Hey guys, check out.
It's it's called.
Check out my Instagram feed.
What can I hit that?
This?
I'm going to let me get lightheaded.
Well, first you have to.
Well, first.
Okay, well, hold on.
Hold on.
Say no, Mac.
No, no, no, I am.
I am going to jump in through.
Oh, no, I was going to say I want to let I want to let you do a judgment first.
Okay, so.
Well, I come up with an accusation or something that somebody could be guilty or innocent of.
Max a trader.
Wait, wait.
That's not going to help your case.
Well, okay, I thought that's doing what you told me to do.
Yeah, but something that's like real.
Eric Andre is a funny video.
He's pretending to get our worded by gorilla.
There are word guilty of having the video.
Was it the grape ape?
It's probably.
I got me some grape in it.
I got me some grape.
My girl gets the same thing that you guys are smoking.
She coughs like crazy.
I know Dylan has been like coughing like crazy.
Like there's no there's it's got to be hurting you like and also people who smoke cigarettes
don't cough like this.
Maybe we can adjust.
No, I have it on full blast mode.
Got all these numbers on it.
It's tracking me.
I mean, people who smoke.
Yeah.
It's a Christian to me.
It's kind of like it's kind of like the wallet company that I need an email back from before
we can talk about.
But there is I want the tea on something from you, Jason.
I got the Olympic flame hoax in my feed.
What's up?
I want the tea.
I want the tea on something from you.
I've been I've been trying to find good like a steeper tea that can make myself if someone
like sends it to my door or something.
You want some cool Steve or a club?
Spill the tea and it's not cool.
Wait, what's that?
Why'd you tell us that?
Cool Steve or club.com.
It's a website where I get all my tea.
So you're saying it's exactly what I'm looking for and cool.
Yeah, I don't mean gossip.
I mean actual tea folks.
Hot or cold.
I make cold.
It comes with the pictures.
You make cold routine.
Put it in the picture and it makes it overnight and then you have a whole routine.
Cool Steve or club.com.
And actually just now we got a promo code bad comedy where you get 25% off a checkup.
Bad comedy.
And go on cool Steve or that comment.
Say hello to Tom.
You said cool steeper club pretty poorly right there.
Cool steeper steeper.
It's like stepper with an extra E. Yeah, cool stepper and then one P.
Cool stepping in my air.
Steve.
Okay, like a steep set of stairs.
Cool stepper club.
This mountain's not steep.
Guys, remember you get basically 100% off if you do the math with promo code B as in
boy A as in Adam Addis D as in David Donick Adam Addis that guy should take some advice
from the sea.
Too many good.
No space, no space, C as in Connor Cowley, O as in Oscar Carvajal, M as in Matt Brown,
E as in Edgar Allen Poe, D as in David Donick.
It's a box truck.
Y as in.
Hey, why the hell not?
Yeah.
Why is it?
Yeah, baby.
Get the product because it's awesome.
And Jason has it all the time.
He just finished it out of his Dunkin Donuts cup.
That's what he uses because it's a base kind of cup.
I like a big cup.
Because he's a big boy.
You're a big boy.
It's like a cup to fill.
You're a big boy.
You know me?
That's how it talks to Cooper.
The dog.
Sorry.
I don't want to show you a dog.
Michael Cooper.
Is your dog named after Michael Cooper?
Yeah.
Michael Cooper is a fascist.
Yeah.
Michael Cooper is a farce.
Yeah.
He really is a farce.
Got on the wall of ops for doing nothing.
No work.
He is a black hole of nothingness.
And he's a communist and has never probably done any research in his life on Stalin.
He doesn't even know which Olympians are trans or not.
He has no idea which Olympians are trans.
He's an apologist of every issue.
So he likes what Stalin did, which was kill like probably 10 million of his own people
that were poor.
Stalin apologist.
Yeah.
I'm sorry for what he did.
He's a Mao Zedong fan.
You know, it's good.
More like mouth is a dong.
Because I don't care about a word he says out of his mouth.
I ratioed him here.
You got two likes on his post.
And then I got three laugh emojis on my post.
Good.
So Brian Rowe posted something and then Max storage copied and pasted it into the comment.
I like that.
I don't know if I hit like, but I like it.
I hit love just on the comment only because I mean Max sources are only live listener.
So I mean, that's enough.
Is that not enough Max?
He's the number one roast battler in the world.
So we've been Paul Farrakhan taking days at him for a long time.
He never responded.
Where does that make us?
Check out Pringles only number one in the world.
Yeah, dude.
Honestly, he probably doesn't have time or probably below his pay grade.
There's no idea for what for the podcast for him to come and roast us.
We just been taking.
He did agree to do the podcast one time and we set a date, but it was like so far away
that everyone just forgot about it.
He's scared to come on the podcast.
He's been on like three times.
He's scared.
He was me and I Paul Farrakhan.
No, Max storage.
Oh, you're so rich.
Don't we still have a day for Paul Farrakhan like November?
I legit do not know.
That was like last year.
That was last year.
Paul Farrakhan.
I legit think we made the date and then just didn't everyone forgot about it.
Paul Farrakhan.
Check out Pringles only.
It's really good podcast.
It's it's you can only one Pringle and it's really hard.
I saw him interview and Kevin Bozeman recently on some.
It's kind of like a podcast.
It's a Pringles only is kind of like the hot sauce, the wing challenge, you know, with
the different hot sauces, except you can only one Pringle is a bunch of Pringles.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Discipline on camera.
And Osimo was the first guest on it.
Animal because he said you can't eat this one Pringle.
And it's just, you know, what is this a marketing?
The way is he was even purchased by Pringles for years.
He might be owned by Pringles.
He's a Pringle comic.
I remember I told him this hilarious joke.
You should sell better call.
Is that a better call Paul T shirts you should sell better call Saul T shirts.
And then he walked away and unfollowed me on Instagram.
Yeah.
Hey, remember I bought the teacher and I said you should sell better call Paul Saul
at once.
And he laughed really hard.
And I go, you remember Max said that to you and he said, who's Mac?
So who's.
Anyway, I got a better call Paul T shirts.
It's fucking awesome.
He knows precisely.
It's like one of the it's one of the most he doesn't want to.
It's one of the most cheaply made merges.
Yeah.
I think he also gave me like a live strong bracelet for Parkinson's.
Wow.
Yeah.
Pretty sure that's just for when you have one big ball.
You should make it better call Paul Kinson's disease.
Yeah.
I might tell him that when I see you.
You should.
You should buy a shirt.
It's 20 bucks.
Better call Paul.
What about Paul Farrakhan?
Farrakhan, who Paul Farrakhan had?
Oh, that sounds like that could be like a Italian ball.
A fabric on Paulie fabric ony.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Market towards the Italian.
Yeah.
You can get a big.
It's a lot of it.
There's a lot of Italians out there and that one and then does not always look a pharaoh
around.
He's Egyptian also.
So that doesn't count.
And then who's that?
Who's that famous one?
That's from Erelynton Heights.
I said Luca Prego.
No, it's a famous one.
Famous super super talent.
Luca Prego.
The sauce from the sauce fortune.
It's his name.
Manascalco.
Yeah.
Manascalco.
He's not around all the time.
So.
Canopregno.
My mom makes the best Manascalco.
Sebastian Canopregno.
I like that.
Me and my brothers.
We need it.
Sebastian Canopregno.
Okay.
I like that.
Luca Prego.
Luca pregnant.
Prego.
I like that sauce.
It means hello.
He's Egyptian.
Something like that.
We need we need like an Irish a good Irish American comic that talks about potatoes.
You know, and they're like a potato famine.
Irish.
It's like the potato famine.
What's up with that?
My mom makes the best potatoes.
A rubber fixed pan.
Yeah.
Wild is the tell.
No, it's really we should make a bad make a bad comedy.
I did a Luca Farrow and Vic Panjish show on Friday.
Wow.
You really are a traitor to them.
So he's coming up in the scene.
This is my best friend.
Are you Jason?
I love those guys.
Jason, you you betrayed us.
Of these guys.
I'm one of the you're the Illuminati now of Chicago.
I'm one of the white guys.
Jason Tyler Fowler show.
And next week we'll be doing like a year at the comedy club.
We'll be doing the show.
Okay.
You're fine then because Paul was on it.
It was me and Paul and and then after us was diesel hate poll.
I don't never hate Paul.
I just don't trust him.
I'm kind of scared.
Well, you don't trust him to have your back.
Yeah, like I think he would drown me to get out of it.
If like he was like mildly in trouble, he would he would not like he would throw me
under the bus.
And also if he committed a crime with you, he'd be the first to flip so quickly.
I wouldn't flip.
Yeah, he would flip.
He's the guy who had ran on everybody.
I don't write you guys would all read on me and I'd be I'd be like that wouldn't
rat.
I would be the one who the Rico case was about.
I would be the whole system.
So everybody would be ratting on me in a Rico case and I'd have to take the charges for
everybody else.
You would read.
You would definitely read.
I'm the big boss like young.
I can only commit crimes with dealing.
I don't think me and don't like slime and you guys are all my slime.
That's I would never.
I would never read.
I thought I was maybe we should do a blood oath for bad.
Oh man.
And we're back to the park.
Welcome back, folks.
We cut out to do a thing that we think YouTube doesn't like.
There's no way that was cool for you to.
Yeah, so we've been we've been talking about.
So history, there's always a Scottish guy for you free folks.
We talk about this, you know, on the Patreon, but there's a Scottish guy in every war, no
matter where it is across the world.
There's always some Scottish guy.
I don't know where, whether it's in the Middle East, it's in Africa, wherever it is, it's
it's always a Scottish guy.
So shout out to Scottish for that.
But they're otherwise their culture sucks.
Otherwise it's horrendous.
Everything dresses as man skirts.
Yes, skirts, horrible bagpipe music.
No underwear.
Being ugly.
Red hair.
So but they balance it out by having kind of a savior in every single battle in war.
Yeah.
Which is which is pretty cool of them.
They're trying.
It sounds like they're trying hard to compensate.
Trying to over for their lack of bad.
Their lack of good culture.
Yeah.
I like Australia.
Isn't it kind of like cool England?
Yeah.
They took all the cool people from England.
Well, if you're in prison, you're cool.
It's all that they took them all the cool people and put them in another.
Yeah.
So it's all the descendants of.
Yeah.
And let them train with like crazy animals and like nature.
Yeah.
They're all like crocodile hunters.
They have to like fist fight with spiders.
Yeah.
That's how big this was.
That video of that guy punching the kangaroo.
Yeah.
Holding the dog hostage.
Yeah.
Why was the kangaroo holding the dog?
It's so weird.
I think they think dogs are they're like trying to like be in love with dogs.
Kangaroos.
I was trying to.
I mean, it looked like they were he's trying to cuddle it because they don't eat that.
Do that.
Like kangaroos are vegetarian.
No, but they can still kill, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But like when he had the dog, he was like hugging it and cuddling it or strangling it.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Maybe a little bit of both kangaroos have pockets built into their body that rules.
Yeah.
I'm going to like the cargo pants.
I'm going to invent that.
And then once our sponsor that needs to get back to me.
Oh, I'm going to tell them to invent that.
We should bring back cargo pants.
Baggy pants are kind of coming back.
Did you see that bag?
I think has been taking pictures of baggy pants.
Well, because I never got into the tight jeans.
That's kind of a Dylan thing.
Come on.
I'm not making fun of you.
A lot of people think you're jeans.
I'm like, I know it was.
But I just like my clothes are naturally tight.
I like regular jeans.
You know, I don't need to buy tight jeans.
I'm already naturally barely fitting in them.
I like regular jeans.
But the problem is I were I put some more stuff in my pockets of like two vapes, a wallet,
a phone, drugs, a knife.
It looks like I have like thigh pads on.
You're hurting yourself.
Yeah.
I've gone that way.
They'll probably ban those from YouTube eventually.
Blood oaths.
No, but vapes.
No.
Sometimes you have to put like a they haven't been smoking cigarettes.
I did get like a warning on something the other day I turned on and said warning that
people in this video may be smoking tobacco.
Really?
Yeah.
I think it was on Twitch.
I need to figure out why the Google thing tweaks every time I try to see what we did
wrong.
It just I don't think I think they just don't actually really tell you.
No, but they have a button like what?
What?
I know, but I don't think they don't care enough.
It'll be like you just it was the bad.
They said they always say it's shocking and I kind of find that as a compliment.
You know, I find that kind of shocking.
Yeah, it's getting a little predictable.
Yeah, I find it shocking getting suppressed by YouTube again.
I know that I mean if John Hickox can you do a blood oath if John Hickox what can you
do guys if John Hickox fan base goes to war against YouTube censorship and I think we're
good.
I mean, I don't I don't think it's not going to do anything.
No, I mean like because they would just like go to physical war.
Oh, yeah, let them go to physical war.
That's true.
We'll kind of learn the lesson wherever it's going to be.
He's also got I mean, Tucker Carlson's big fan.
He's got voices out there.
I'm sure.
Yeah, he's talking to that black conservative guy.
The black conservative rules.
A lot of good points there.
He grew up.
HMLK.
He does hit MLK.
Yeah.
Who hates MLK?
Black guy.
It's like crazy.
Yeah.
But he makes a lot of good points.
He's saying in the speech it's all about we're not free yet and it's like I thought I was
free.
Yeah, it's kind of saying what's this guy just kind of trying to make me feel like I'm
not free anymore.
This guy was one of the more he was actually one of the more rational like because there
are some crazy like black conservatives that are just clearly just like saying retarded
shit.
He's like is always apologizing for his service.
He loves them.
Well, I'm a I'm a black conservative myself.
He's a diehard.
I lean right more than I lean left socially.
I don't I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm a Lib.
Irritarian.
He leans over for them to have to make love to his butthole.
No, I don't I'm not going to I'm not going to let a party claim me.
I go to parties.
I party.
Okay.
I'm not I'm not.
He's a rebutt.
You know what's dumb?
You know what's dumb about all these?
All these politicians in these different parties.
It's his butthole cause all these people in these different parties.
He's liberal with no none of them even party.
Yeah, he's because he's pretty liberal with the conservatives.
He's fiscally conservative.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, liberal.
You're you're you're you're fissile.
You're fissile because he's got a liberal.
He's got a fissile.
I got fissile in there first.
It's fissile.
I said fissile first.
An accident.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, you're copying us.
I said if you're fister, I fissile liberal with your ass.
Yeah, you are.
You are.
You want to fist our assholes.
You said I know you are.
But what am I?
You got you got a you got an ass full of fist.
I'm rubber.
You're glue.
Whatever you say.
Bounce off to me and six to you.
You're asked fully fist.
It turns out full of fist turns out you're asked full of fist.
No way, bro.
Yeah, that's not true.
Well, I got you.
There's no proof.
Turns out it is true.
Oh, there's no evidence.
Yep.
It turns out there's evidence.
Uh-oh.
Fake news.
Turns out it's real news.
Actually, I got it.
Fact checkers on this.
It turns out it's a false.
Who will won that?
I won that at the end.
Nope.com and says you're wrong.
What is it?
Max Gay.
Hung jury.
What the heck?
I'm gonna have to.
That was a hung jury.
It was it.
It was Alex Luchin's favorite jury.
I got the guy who blew Obama here saying he also made love to you.
Obamacare.
The guy who blew Obama.
Trust me.
You don't want to.
I got him here.
He says he also made love to you.
That guy really got some Obamacare.
I'll tell you that much.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Thanks to Obama.
Yeah.
Whenever gay sex.
Yeah.
He loves drones.
He loves just droning all about we're going to change things.
We're done and then just have them stay the same and then just drone strike everybody.
Fucking your ass.
Yeah.
He should.
He should join the WWE and his name should be drone.
Drone bomber drone.
We had to create a characters during Obama's election and WWE game video game and it was
it was a Barack to bomb Obama and elbow Jiden and I made up elbow Jiden and all his moves
were elbow moves.
Wow.
That's pretty funny.
Yeah.
Elbow Jiden.
Why didn't they were in tag team.
Why didn't the Republican Party pick like Nikki Haley?
Barack to bomb Obama.
Because they knew Trump.
That's all they need.
Oh they want Ohio.
That's why Trump is a gold mine.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter for him.
Yeah.
He's got probably a Kingston mine.
Yeah.
He's the king of the mines and the Mayans.
He's he's a he's a God in the heart.
He might be.
Well I'm God.
He's actually my son come back in a new body.
A new husk.
I could see it.
Yeah.
But hey it's a husk because I was always told I was husky.
It means you've got a lot of things like a husk.
Well like like you could say that your your human body is a husk husk.
Like corn husk is anything that surrounds it.
So husky means a you just yours doubled up on husk.
You have a lot of husks.
A lot of a lot of layers of skin just added.
Joe McMahon is do a joke.
You told me this one.
He said he didn't like condoms because they don't make him in his size.
He wears a children's husky.
I do remember when I when I was a kid my parents to me they wouldn't call like XL jeans.
They would call it husky and I thought it was cool.
Yeah.
That's true.
That's what it was made for.
He didn't feel like you were fat.
I didn't like that my parents were like you're just really fat.
It's funny that we were fat kids.
Yeah.
And then until the beginning of high school and I got not fat.
I've been fat.
I've been I've been straight true.
You guys are fakers.
No we're just a don't have don't have elephant legs.
No it's called being a poor poser.
I need I need these elephant legs to support my elephant cock.
I have to believe that.
One twenty four.
I forgot the time stamp. Don't forget the time stamp. I'm just gonna not edit anything out.
I do. I do. I do want the blood. What's our what's our monetization rate on YouTube right now?
Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Zero. Yeah, we I mean, are they they what is it really?
No, we don't we don't make any money on YouTube because they but luckily we don't have any full
strikes. We don't have any full strikes. So the bad news is we're not making it money. The good news is
we're not getting kicked off. Yeah, we're not getting kicked off, but our views are definitely getting suppressed.
Okay, are there are there to show the good news is to less people. There's no good news because we violate
all the policies. Yeah. Also, it's a very unlikeable show or or a very lovable show. Or or that. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, what I guess both. So we got really cool smart guy. That's me. And then you got fat guy and retard.
We got a lot of close on the IQ, but 50 points was still passed. I didn't tell you that was a BP before his gum tip.
That was a BPD test. You were on the borderline of being retarded.
I was the edit a lot. You guys each one of us send the R word on this episode. I know. Yeah, you got BPD borderline.
You got BRD. I have big penis disorder. Border. Yeah. Nothing means anything. Yeah. That's it. I mean, it's totally not original at all.
I'm sure it's a million people's joke. And anything that is a something that's talked about a lot and is like a whatever an
acronym, acronyms, somebody will say something on stage about it. Like CIA and we're like Chad igloo apples.
All right. Am I right, folks? It's been done. Oh, it has been done. Okay, well, I'll try another one next time.
Well, hey, folks, we're gonna wrap up now. You're gonna want to catch the Patreon because when we cut out at that one point,
we did something kind of wild on the page. A little bit nutty. Yeah, I would say the professor, the nutty professor might say that
this is kind of me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That movie about a zempik. Yeah. I always get the Olympics and I was epic mixed up.
Anyway, do you have any plugs today? Just follow me a comedy baddie and shed my blood, sweat and tears for this place.
Yeah, here's crying. Was he?
What are you?
Cool Jason Melton man. Social media, Jason Melton Twitch Jason Melton, Kami.com. I'm gonna update my website. Jason Melton bitch.
I thought it was cool Jason. Yeah, right.
Follow me. Check out this. I have this friend, spied to cancel Jason on Twitch.
I should change my Twitch name to cool Jason Melton. I pay a guy to spy on Jason.
Then write that after this.
And follow me a bad boy comedy on all platforms. Make sure to subscribe and do this on whatever you're on.
Apple, Spotify, YouTube, it helps us. You can like and comment and rate us too and that helps the robots make sure we don't get more suppressed than we already are.
And when we get suppressed folks, I get depressed and I will not be oppressed anymore. Free at last, free at last.
We will be once you start helping us by either joining patreon.com slash bad comedy where all the cool stuff is or just you know, you're getting this for free.
It's cool. You just hit the like button. Share it. Even fake shared. I don't care.
Just do something. Make YouTube like us more. They hate us. They demon time us all the time.
But Dylan, thanks for coming on today. Thanks for having me.
Dude, of course. Jason. Yeah.
I just want to say thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me.
Anytime. Good to be here.
And Mac, I really appreciate you taking time out of your day that we're coming on today.
It's really not a problem. If you'll have me back, I'd come back. And folks, we'll catch you on the other side of the pizza in the basement of the Pizza Perler.