1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,880 Hey everybody welcome to this is so us podcast my name is Donald Trump and I'm so rich that I 2 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:16,580 Paid someone to shoot my ear to get my ear pierced and I'm here with I'm Tim to drill man Taylor. Oh 3 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:23,380 He's a drill rapper and a home improvement guy, I'm Donald Trump oops, I'm in Kamala Harris 4 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,760 I thought you were pooing. I mean 5 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,760 I 6 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,840 It's classic mix up 7 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:37,520 Or not you guys can't tell you talking about this this is politics. Yes, Elinsky 8 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,640 Maybe go to Poland and maybe change the wide you and I ever tender Polish 9 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,320 Right, so you don't get bombed 10 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:50,240 You know bomb on stage he's a comedian. Oh, yeah, that's crazy 11 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:56,080 What kind of comedy is Elinsky do I know he was a stand-up he was a comedic actor Oh actor and he played a 12 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,080 I guess he played a 13 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:04,360 Teacher who ended up becoming a politician. Oh we gave the president and then they like 14 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,720 Oh that guy's president on TV for the president real life. Yeah, they're not very smart over there 15 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:13,560 I mean we put like and we put Reagan and you know, like yeah, we did the same thing 16 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:19,600 Donald Trump. Yeah, Donald Trump from the apprentice where he pretended to be a businessman. Yeah 17 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,240 Good times. Yeah, he's really can't Arnold Schwarzenegger 18 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:32,040 We took their Austrian guy and made him the governor of one of our state. We're taking you know, it's like we can't talk 19 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:38,960 Yeah, and then he just makes a bunch of commercials that he's like skiing in California somehow and he's like come visit, California 20 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:44,960 I like that we get their most jacked guy like he's allowed to come in our country 21 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,400 He'd be like not probably be skiing and the commercial not surfing, you know 22 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:57,080 Like skiing isn't the main thing California is known for if it was Colorado. Yeah, and maybe rollerblading 23 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:01,720 Am I right it come to Colorado and you can snowboard here 24 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:09,720 Mm-hmm. You could you could skateboard maybe and rollerblade even I was pictured in a scene like an Arnold Schwarzenegger type movie 25 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:17,320 Where you have a gun and you're shooting everybody and then you go sorry the doctor ordered me to do this 26 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,160 My doctor told me I had to do this 27 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,460 Terminating I have a good sketch idea, but it's like clearly a metal a little guy 28 00:02:27,460 --> 00:02:32,780 I've got idea for bad comedy sketch back for back up entertainment. Oh shit. Let's go 29 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:37,820 So we'll hire Arnold Schwarzenegger. It might be expensive, but he says probably not he 30 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:42,660 Shoots we'll go to the John Hickox gun range and then he'll shoot a bunch of shots been machine gun 31 00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:46,980 and then he says I'll be Bach and then all of a sudden he has like a 32 00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:53,100 Beethoven Sebastian Bach cup fit on and he says planes in Oregon. I'll be Bach. I'll be Bach. Yeah 33 00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:59,540 All right, I'll still have east yeah, I'll be back and becomes Bach and he's wearing a big white wig 34 00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:03,820 And he goes, I mean I'll be Spock and then he 35 00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,860 then he is the 36 00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:14,100 Mushroom coat we're gone and then he does that thing or is hostile of east of baby. I'll be Beethoven 37 00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:18,020 I'll be Mozart 38 00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:22,340 Don't still be still baby kills a baby or okay 39 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,740 What if he goes? 40 00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:30,940 Asta Livin la vista Loga baby. How I make my baby oil, then he puts the baby oil on his muscles 41 00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:35,220 Yeah, they killed the baby Asta Livin la vista Loka. I'm gay, baby 42 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:39,700 Livin love living hostile. I love you the local 43 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,220 The germinator 44 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:48,560 Just kind of a sanitizes order a kill he kills Jason cuz Jason 45 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:54,860 How about looks like the big germ from the music about the Austrian eater cuz he's actually Austrian on German true 46 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:57,540 but people might think it's 47 00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:00,460 Australia cuz that's like the same thing pretty much yet true 48 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:07,260 Let's go suffer off straight. Just live in Australia shadow. We've got some listeners in southern Australia and in New Zealand 49 00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:13,740 No, we don't know do we got somebody listening from a VPN to put them there? No 50 00:04:13,940 --> 00:04:15,420 We got some 51 00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:19,180 Some spywares like they're training it on our podcast 52 00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:25,460 No, because they're targeting they're trying to figure out how to get like sell something to dumbass we have a fair 53 00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:33,560 We have a fair amount in in concentrated parts of Europe. Oh the concentrated parts of Europe in certain talking about like a 54 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:38,720 Poland a lot of concentrated part juice. Nice nice now 55 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,320 Belgium's our biggest somehow 56 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,960 Belgium yeah 57 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,520 Waffles cuz it's a try to sell me waffles Belgium so they're like they're like 58 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:54,440 Brussels sprouts and waffles. Yeah, like what the I do like Brussels sprouts and waffles individually 59 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 chicken and waffles maybe 60 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,600 Yeah 61 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,600 Yeah 62 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,800 Alright, so we're out of stuff to talk about. Yeah 63 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,720 Nothing really happened this weekend 64 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,680 So 65 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,720 Donald Trump gave a speech show I didn't give a speech or a rule with they were both pretty good 66 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,800 And then they killed him and replace him with the clone. No, they have Boris Johnson. Yeah 67 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:24,080 So good luck voting for your clone folks. We could have swapped them so easily 68 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:30,320 Yeah, no, but he did that he did that he did the bull moose thing Trump did pretty much 69 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,800 I mean I guarantee you once he got in the car. He was like, let me back out there 70 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,360 That's what I'm trying to be because as a teddy you did 71 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,760 They're trying to put him in jail because they wanted to swap him out like Gucci Mane. Mm-hmm that didn't work 72 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,800 Yeah, but I think now they had to do this 73 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,920 I think Teddy got shot in the open car on the way to the speech 74 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:53,180 It's like he outperformed Kennedy. Yeah. Yeah, better than Kennedy Lincoln 75 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,640 He turned his head I don't know if you he didn't eat a better than looking at it 76 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,240 Yeah, he did better than John F. Kennedy. It doesn't make any Robert Kennedy 77 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,460 Yeah, it doesn't make the kind of thing that seemed more like fake 78 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,520 It's like the guy shot from like a tower and hit him like perfect 79 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:17,200 Uh-huh, and then this guy like was like close range with like a machine. Well, I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because 80 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,200 This was a liberal 81 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,320 liberal also shot Reagan 82 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:28,960 What was the guy who shot Kennedy was he concerned he was like a communist I think 83 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:35,600 He was trying to yeah, he was he was anti-democrat anti-liberal stuff trying to impress a woman. That's a totally that's not even 84 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:41,960 Political no, the guy who shot Kennedy was married. No, he died. Yeah. No, he was just anti 85 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,040 like Democrat 86 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:48,380 Party. Oh, okay. I think he was probably more like libertarian type of deal 87 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:54,720 He was like I listen to a podcast about him once he was weirdly in like Russia a lot and there's like this whole 88 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,040 Conspiracy that he was like replaced with like a Russian 89 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,820 You know like yeah, I've heard conspiracy. There's a cool movie 90 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:04,920 They made with Angelina Jolie where she's like from the age of six 91 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,880 They're like assassins and they replace them with like a kid in America and they grow up in America 92 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:14,600 And then once they become an adult they trigger them to become the Russian spy. Yeah, I 93 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:20,100 Did watch a whole doctor go it's called salt. Maybe yeah, I watched the salt. Yeah, that's one 94 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,900 I don't know if that one movies one with Angelina Jolie 95 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:27,520 I like that. I like the one better where she makes a bullets. I 96 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,600 Texted John Hickok. Can you do that? 97 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:36,900 They make some bullets go curved. No, yeah John John Hickok said to me they they shot our boy 98 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,920 they shot at her at our boy and 99 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:46,800 And wait what John Hickok texted me he was like they tried to shoot our boy or they shot our boy and I was like 100 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:48,800 Yeah 101 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,800 Uh-huh, and then 102 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,920 And then he was like, I wish I actually happened and then I was like well 103 00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:02,280 I'm watching the news right now and it did happen you idiot and then he said shit. You're right. I'm bad 104 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:08,240 Thought you guys were enemies. I hate him. He just he makes YouTube videos his dad 105 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:13,600 Yeah, the other he was at power out the other day and he goes for a living I make YouTube videos with my dad 106 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,440 Yeah, I started laughing really hard for a long time 107 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,960 He's basically James DeJar with an old guy 108 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000 He's a clout chasing his own dad 109 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,240 Jealous that you don't make videos with 110 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:33,400 You guys should make office for videos. My dad's an entrepreneur 111 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:39,720 So I should make money money with Mac and mark. Yeah, you should you should do videos with him about office furniture 112 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:45,080 Yeah, we could just do check out this desk. We could do videos never get demonetized 113 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:51,640 You know, they're always like doing like they're shooting from like a bicycle. You could be like carrying a desk chair on a bicycle 114 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,480 No, I'll be rolling in a chair 115 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:04,600 No, we could we could talk about network building and sales and stuff like that, you know, that sounds very interesting 116 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,740 It sounds definitely as interesting that was shooting it was the alpha 117 00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:12,440 But when you talk about networking all I think about is working a net on a fishing boat 118 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,180 As a network building like I'm like gone fishing, bro 119 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,640 Efficiency, yeah 120 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:25,880 Efficient networking is a fish and I prefer working the net like a fish in the sea is there you're trying to see? 121 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:31,480 Oh, yeah efficiency. Oh, you said efficiency. Yeah fishing hole fish in the sea. I was thinking a fish in the sea. Yeah 122 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,720 That's what I think when I hear like real actual words. I just think it's like something else 123 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,480 efficiency 124 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,640 Yeah 125 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:43,840 Efficiency at work more like a fish in the sea. I'm on the end of a hook. Yeah 126 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:52,760 I'm hooked on hooking the fishes. There was this guy I was introduced to his name was Jeff Seagrave and I was like 127 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,320 Whoa, I was like this is like a pirate name like I'm Jeff Seagrave 128 00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:01,300 You're gonna have to walk to the plank and you're gonna go to Davy Jones locker the old Seagrave 129 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:08,740 One of my wrestling rivals Jack Seaman. Oh, yeah, dude. I 130 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:14,640 There's a there's a higher up where I'm mad that's her last name 131 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:20,540 My guidance my guidance house in college was named Barbara's pronounced seaman. Yeah 132 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,580 Yeah, I 133 00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:28,860 Met a Barbara seaman once I met a barber. I wish I met a barber. It was great. She used to babysit my dad 134 00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:33,220 She told me our next guest our next guest was a former was a former seaman 135 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:38,980 I'm into it in the name in the gravy another one of these guys who got tricked in high school, huh? Yeah, it's becoming gay 136 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,540 Yeah, the Navy's kind of like 137 00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:46,220 Kevin Spacey. Yeah 138 00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:52,900 Always tricking 14 year olds into being gay. Yeah help their career, but maybe it'll become maybe maybe it's gonna become cool again 139 00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:58,180 What if the Navy became cool this be sick if what did if the Navy became cool again 140 00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:02,820 Yeah, well the lamest is the gayest is the Navy but the lamest is the Air Force 141 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:06,260 The lamest is the Air Force 142 00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:08,740 That's what people say 143 00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:14,340 The smart the desk guys because most people don't get I mean the the small percent of them are cool and fly around 144 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:17,420 You know, there's a you know, there's a Space Force now, too 145 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,420 Yeah, but there's a 146 00:11:19,420 --> 00:11:25,020 I was talking to Anthony about they haven't done anything. Yeah army Navy Air Force and Space Force 147 00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:28,620 Space Force is a part of the Air Force though. No, no, it's something 148 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:33,660 Yeah, first it was part of the Air Force. Okay, they had it as like a subset 149 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:39,380 Just like Hernandez the Marines just how the Marines was a part of the Navy and it's yeah, right 150 00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:45,420 Not anymore. It was the few the proud the few the the dumb the blood lusty 151 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:48,460 the blood lusting the Marines 152 00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:53,820 Well, they're just brutes like you'd be a good Marine, you know, you're just like a brute yeah 153 00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:55,820 Marine. Yeah 154 00:11:55,820 --> 00:12:00,460 Yeah, I'd be the first pond they send in. Yeah, I'd be like Mac would be good 155 00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:03,580 He would he'd be a good Marine cuz he craves MAGA 156 00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,620 You'd be good 157 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:09,820 I don't know why everyone thinks I'm a big Trump guy and I'm really not 158 00:12:09,820 --> 00:12:11,820 Yeah, except for everybody else 159 00:12:11,820 --> 00:12:18,860 They attempted his life on his life now. I'm a big Trump guy. Yeah, they try to assassinate his character, too 160 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:26,060 Yeah, I voted even I voted Willie Nelson last time. So I'm way bigger Willie Nelson guy 161 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:29,780 I have a canvas painting of Willie Nelson in the hallway not of DTJ 162 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:34,220 But I might have to get one and take down Willie Nelson. Somebody took on Willie Nelson in four years 163 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:37,940 I'm seeing him all the time. I'm seeing him in the hallway. I'm seeing him in the hallway 164 00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:44,140 Somebody check on Willie Nelson in four years. I'm seeing him. Well, I'm seeing him in September. He's your boyfriend 165 00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:50,660 Wow, yeah, I'm having sex with him. He still plays music. Yeah, it's mostly his like son and his 166 00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:53,260 Fan they'll play music. So they're all 167 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:57,940 Good. Yes on Luke Wilson. You think your dad's Wilson 168 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:06,820 What you and your dad don't play music together we listen to music but they can't play anything or you can't even play the voice 169 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,980 Like me. I played his dad in chess. I won his day was pretty good though 170 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:16,580 Yeah, but you won my dad was I meant I'm I'm in the 97th percent percent 171 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,020 percentile 172 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,020 What about? 173 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:27,140 What percentile are you a hundred thousand people? What percentile are you of people that can say the word percentile? I'm a 174 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,300 I'm not in that percentile because I can't say 175 00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:34,300 I 176 00:13:34,820 --> 00:13:39,260 Seventh percentile in Cuba the whole park was just a bunch of people in the top 3% 177 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:44,060 In the evening the whole park was a bunch of old people playing chess. I just 178 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:45,820 old 179 00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:50,300 Cuban dudes because there's Cuba. Yeah, who's the number one? Yeah, I see player on bed 180 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:56,400 How's the number one? Yeah, see player on bed online playing yahtzee online 181 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,780 It's got to lose some of its luster because when you yell yahtzee, you're just alone 182 00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:05,360 You know no one's like cheering with you. No one's making a face. It's like you're looking at your computer screen 183 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,360 What's up? What time I was babysitting? 184 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:12,460 I was babysitting a kid and I got yahtzee and I hit my head and I've passed out on the table 185 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,440 Start bleeding out. Yeah, this is a scene from scary movie 3 186 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,100 This sounds really funny 187 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:26,620 Yeah, it's in this cord is what we're talking about right before yahtzee 188 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:29,260 Oh, yes, I think we're talking about my dad 189 00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:35,460 Cuba sorry and these old guys we had we had we had we had a big bottle of rum that cost only a dollar 190 00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:37,260 It was like a handle of rum 191 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:42,480 So I think these guys are letting my dad win so that we would stick around and then he would let them hit the bottle 192 00:14:42,660 --> 00:14:45,480 But then they had an expert come up and they got beat my dad 193 00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:47,880 And then they're all like god damn it now 194 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,860 They're gonna leave now we don't get the whiskey or the rum anymore 195 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:55,980 You got to get them a little tipsy and let them win a bunch of times and then you start playing for cash 196 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:57,980 Yeah 197 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:01,820 They're having a lucky night. You want to put your money on well luckily we ran out of money 198 00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:05,060 That's the last night that we were there and you can't pull out cash when you're down there 199 00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:09,860 Oh, wow. Yeah, and they only take cash replaces. So you're out of money you're kind of done 200 00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:15,860 Especially because you're like you ran out of money when the rum is a dollar for a half gallon 201 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:20,980 But when you go to the main tourist area 202 00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:26,620 I mean like it but you go to bars and restaurants as charge would you know tourist places do yeah? 203 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:31,140 Which is like a billion dollars and the waiters waitress is probably like this is so much money 204 00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:35,220 Like you like we we like a a meal 205 00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:40,260 It's like 50 bucks between the two of us like our money, but for them they see they see like a hundred million dollars 206 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:49,340 But if you if they try to embezzle like a dollar from that they could probably be headed 207 00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:52,340 It's a full communism there. It's one of the only full communism's left 208 00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:55,460 location 209 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:58,540 I had a really good joke of power very bad location for one 210 00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:05,340 You know that big black guy who's like autistic Michael something yeah, he did a joke about how he's gonna be in a remake of the whale 211 00:16:08,460 --> 00:16:11,940 First a little mermaids black now the whale was black I 212 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,340 Like that huge 213 00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:21,100 Do you remember with cocaine bear and the whale came out at the same time and they should make a sequel to both that's called cocaine 214 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,100 cocaine 215 00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,100 whale 216 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,100 I 217 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:34,220 Don't believe in free will but I believe in free willie yeah, I can't believe that 218 00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:37,980 Putin and Trump were both at Biden's speech 219 00:16:37,980 --> 00:16:42,860 Free Palestine on the road free bird free bird I like that 220 00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:46,340 How about birds how about bird man bird or Birdman jr.. Bitch? 221 00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:50,620 All the whole bird family who did you say that was? 222 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,500 That little Wayne beefs with 223 00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,140 That I was surprised about 224 00:16:56,140 --> 00:17:00,380 Wayne you know soldier boy soldier boy what they don't have a beef 225 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:04,620 How can you know if no cuz you said soldier boy? 226 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:10,140 How can you know if so no cuz you said something of it me if you had an argument about 227 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:15,860 Who was bigger earlier? Not who was bigger, but like who I was talking about who was more level five 228 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,500 no 229 00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:23,740 No, it was young thug well young thug had a beef with Lil Wayne, but young 230 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:28,540 That's why that's what we're talking about, but young thug likes Lil Wayne Lil Wayne doesn't like young thug 231 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:34,500 Yeah, some reason yeah, that's a man. I watched a bit YouTube. It's like me. It's like me and Sam Talent. Yeah 232 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:39,460 Sam tell it likes you and you don't or other way yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no actually 233 00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:47,340 But then like because Lil Wayne didn't like young thug young thug did some shit to him like he tried to name his next album 234 00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:50,780 Like the Carter six or something oh yeah, yeah, and that pissed off Lil Wayne 235 00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:54,660 They like sued him and made it so he couldn't do that we needed we need to talk about 236 00:17:54,660 --> 00:18:00,880 I'm trying to find a way to say this so Stephen Hofstadter won't sue us guys Stephen Hofstadter sues people when they 237 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,740 Make when they make fun of him because they can't handle it even though he destroys people on stage 238 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:11,220 So someone someone told me that he married a child bride inside of his indentured servitude compound in Pittsburgh 239 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:14,780 Yeah, so he married we need to figure out a way to say that where we won't get in trouble 240 00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:18,580 So so where do we where do how do we say somebody so how do we say nice? 241 00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:20,580 I said somebody told me that I don't know. I don't know if it's true 242 00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:23,500 I'm gonna say allegedly 243 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:29,460 Yeah, allegedly okay. That's all you do. They said allegedly. Yeah allegedly well well alleged. It's hearsay 244 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:34,860 Yeah, he said allegedly the guy who told me it. I'm not knowingly spreading misinformation to defame him 245 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,860 No, no of course not 246 00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:39,100 We would never want to defame Stephen Hofstadter 247 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:44,820 We had a shirt about him. We love him and then and Stephen Hofstadter's mom that has eight-year-old mom with the Google Analytics 248 00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:48,700 Is seeing us right now? We love you. Yeah, I think we should get in trouble 249 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:52,140 We're just worried about this young girl like we want to save her 250 00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:56,460 Yeah, is she so did he because I applied for the Hofstadter was on Joe Rogan 251 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,380 I tried to listen to it 252 00:18:57,380 --> 00:19:02,420 I got like 30 seconds in and they're both talking about hecklers in the most generic way I've ever heard 253 00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:05,060 Wait, what's his compound called Steel City? 254 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:10,480 Arts thing. I don't know I applied to live there and Steel City child bride 255 00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:18,380 Yeah, Steel City and entrance or servitude compound. Yeah, well I tried to I applied for the Stephen Hofstadter to live at his compound and 256 00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:24,340 He didn't even get back to me. Wow. Yeah, like what the heck? Yeah, and 257 00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:26,340 Oh 258 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,740 Dylan I don't know if you know about this but our good friend or 259 00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:34,140 hotdog champion Chris Grievo he 260 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:40,780 Obviously we have fans nationwide and Chris Grieve is one of our he's like a 261 00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,380 Not only a spy. He's like a ninja 262 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:48,340 Yeah, he's like, you know, he can secretly get around places because 263 00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:53,860 Like like when I saw his face he's a sleuth. He's a sleuth 264 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,380 He's kind of a sleuth. He's just an honest guy 265 00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:03,340 but he he he walks up to Sam Talon he went to Sam Talon show and hit the 266 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,420 improv and then 267 00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:11,700 He walked up to Sam Talon and there's people around he was like, oh 268 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:16,020 Sam Talon, I think I saw you on bad comedy podcast 269 00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:22,000 I think Chris bought tickets to see Sam at the improv just to say 270 00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:29,540 Like he bought it so I get to see the headliner Sam Talon and he goes away you're the guy from bad comedy. Yeah 271 00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:34,420 Yeah, so we love you Chris Grievo. We're not gonna give you like a week off or anything 272 00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:38,100 Well, we know I'm a Chris we 273 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,100 Hired 274 00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:46,620 Recruiter patrons and then Sam if I tried these I think he's fired. Well, we'll bring you back on Chris 275 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:53,380 You're really hired by a bad comedy LLC. I like this clip about Trump. It's a the Trump shooting. It said 276 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:58,500 You know hate him or love him, but the other side would have had better aim. Yeah 277 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:03,140 Bang bang do hate him or love him the underdog is on top. Uh-huh 278 00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:07,300 And Trump really is the underdog who's on top now. Yeah, so this was 279 00:21:07,820 --> 00:21:14,060 The whole time sort of like the game. This is what Chris Grievo said he got Trump's like, um, you know me 280 00:21:14,060 --> 00:21:20,860 I'm the president's MVP and I ain't going nowhere. So you should get to know me. Yeah, and he's like we're getting to know 281 00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:24,340 You see 282 00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:30,580 When someone gets shot you see who they really are I call hinder love it love it 283 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:34,900 I love that song if I got to hate it or love it. I guess I choose love it 284 00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:38,820 Who hates that song? Nobody hates that song. It's not so good 285 00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:44,300 It's just call up the call love it if they hate it. I hate them. I like my favorite part of that song is with 50 cent 286 00:21:45,740 --> 00:21:48,580 Growing up I was confused seeing my mom kissing a girl 287 00:21:50,460 --> 00:21:52,460 Confused in the curse coming up in the cold 288 00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:59,500 World yeah, idiot around for you. I'll come in and fill me which is pretty pessimistic using check check out my melodies 289 00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:04,000 My favorite rap you sing I bought a hat at the store at the mat 290 00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,860 So this was this was screema said 291 00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:17,300 Chris Grievo in Pittsburgh follow Chris Grievo comedy or something. He's he's a he's fat but he's getting strong folks 292 00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,300 Focus when I saw his 293 00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:22,300 In the gym when I saw him lift 294 00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:25,420 Now I'm a Chris Grievo 295 00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:33,280 Hot dogs are protein too. So he said he said after the club closed there were like 30 to 40 296 00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:41,300 He'd wait like 30 to 40 minutes and then get this through. It's so well actually so what he what he probably could have pushed his 297 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:42,820 Way to the front. He is a big strong guy 298 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:48,140 He said he walked up to a big group of them way funnier if he had done that and then but super rude to people and he 299 00:22:48,140 --> 00:22:52,360 Like pushed his way to the front was like yeah Sam. You're the guy from bad company 300 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,060 Well, it was there's a big 301 00:22:54,060 --> 00:22:59,420 Recorded there's a big group of them super fans over waiting around and he said I literally walked up to a big group of them 302 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:04,980 And improv staff and the opener I know and yelled. Oh shit. You're the guy from bad comedy podcast 303 00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:11,060 And he looked at me for like two seconds and he was like processing it then lost it at first 304 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:16,820 Sam talent thing was fun, but then it became now it's just scarring 305 00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:23,980 Every time I see him and I just he did just make fun of me. He said with a club makes fun everybody 306 00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:25,980 He's so mean. Yeah, he's very mean man 307 00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:31,940 Last time I saw him he kept talking to my belly like there was a person living inside of it 308 00:23:31,940 --> 00:23:38,340 Yeah, he's like saying I was pregnant. He also he throws stones and can't he could he lives in a big 309 00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:42,180 Disgusting glass house. He looks like he'd live at the bottom of the sea, dude 310 00:23:42,180 --> 00:23:47,620 He looks like he live in that little underground tunnel system that the barbarian looked at that movie. What do you do? 311 00:23:47,620 --> 00:23:50,060 I can only survive in pure darkness 312 00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:52,860 What's it what's in town does is he? 313 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:58,060 He doesn't appear to live in a glass house, but then he just holds it grudge 314 00:23:58,660 --> 00:24:02,820 He looks like it's some sort of just weird blowfish. They'll discover 315 00:24:04,780 --> 00:24:06,780 All right, so 316 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:11,940 His head looks like a bean. It's like just you don't have to be looks like it looks like a garbanzo bean 317 00:24:11,940 --> 00:24:13,940 Why is he such a slob? 318 00:24:17,100 --> 00:24:19,300 Here's some more about Sam town he said 319 00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:25,060 Doesn't when the club kicked us all out he came over and shook everyone's hand asking their names, of course 320 00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:29,940 He's a single fan. He's a fan single fan single fan 321 00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:36,140 But when he got over to me he was like keep Mac away from me and 322 00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:40,860 Then so what he always says to me to yeah 323 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:45,020 He said clean. No, he said clearly joking though. He was clearly joking 324 00:24:45,740 --> 00:24:47,940 Okay, I said that's amazing 325 00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:54,900 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha job job job job job such an unpleasant thing to see and then 326 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,260 but I'm telling 327 00:24:57,260 --> 00:25:01,980 But yeah, but but then he said it's so fucking 328 00:25:07,980 --> 00:25:09,980 Get used to it 329 00:25:10,460 --> 00:25:14,380 You have to let your eyes adjust like almost done with the story folks 330 00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:20,060 He did some like a bloody nose or something, but big booger come out of his face 331 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:25,060 Yeah, but then him and why he's reading his whole conversation. No. No, I mean, this is the full story 332 00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:30,180 Is the full story the full story that you already told good. I know I didn't I didn't finish it 333 00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:36,180 No, I didn't the whole story is really him saying he said yeah 334 00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:39,300 But and he also said he's more of a one guy too 335 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,980 I told him to say but yeah 336 00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:47,140 Him and Lund lost it and the opener these weird dudes that followed them around started fake laughing really hard too 337 00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:49,180 Then they were then we were talking about 338 00:25:50,740 --> 00:25:52,620 The gun somewhat 339 00:25:52,620 --> 00:25:57,540 About the gun someone from Pittsburgh was like they threatened to kill Stephen Hofstetter. I 340 00:25:58,580 --> 00:26:03,420 Guess ran and people just knew about think after the story we should go right into an ad and then 341 00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:11,900 The the fake dick riders were like wait what fucking podcast is this and then they all looked it up that's cool 342 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:15,500 How many new 343 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:23,020 How many new views a bunch of you some emotion talk numbers give me some numbers how many numbers we got? 344 00:26:23,740 --> 00:26:27,500 It's just like the power of connections. There's a weird anime guy 345 00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:32,740 Is a super fan of London told him he would fly him to Michigan and buy him tickets to Cedar Point 346 00:26:32,740 --> 00:26:37,840 He's really trying to justify something good happening in the story, but there's nothing left. Well, I know well 347 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:43,180 No, no, no, Chris Screever squeeze a lot in I think he was trying to get like a refund for a month or something 348 00:26:43,180 --> 00:26:47,700 I've been a patronage, but sorry Chris. Sorry, dude. We really need your money 349 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:51,980 Yeah, I mean we have to pay for our own shorts a nigger for that sketch 350 00:26:55,140 --> 00:26:58,500 We ever get that go fund me going for beekeeper office 351 00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:02,460 You did make one. Yeah, but we but that was also 352 00:27:03,140 --> 00:27:08,740 Yeah, but it turns out it's not even the Netherlands where our fans are from Belgium. Yeah, this same thing 353 00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:11,660 Maybe we can yes, or maybe we can ask for 354 00:27:11,660 --> 00:27:13,660 Belgian waffles and Brussels sprouts 355 00:27:13,660 --> 00:27:17,980 I think the baddies here in the US want to see us in beekeeper outfits and wooden shoes 356 00:27:17,980 --> 00:27:23,980 Yeah baddies out there. I mean, I know even if you're not paying the patreon and watching the funny episodes 357 00:27:24,980 --> 00:27:29,460 You can at least donate to just go to go fund me type in 358 00:27:30,260 --> 00:27:34,860 Wooden shoes and beekeeper outfits if there's another go fund me for that then 359 00:27:35,580 --> 00:27:37,580 I'll be very happy for them 360 00:27:37,580 --> 00:27:42,340 I'll be very happy for them. There is a go fund me for me to assassinate Sam Talon 361 00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:45,860 You know I was thinking about it Sam called you Puerto Rican 362 00:27:46,340 --> 00:27:49,740 Yeah, and then I was calling you fat Joe and then I think fat Joe's Puerto Rican 363 00:27:49,740 --> 00:27:52,900 So I think you look Puerto Rican like yeah, and then I said then 364 00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:57,300 You don't look Puerto Rican said that some lady at Cleo's 365 00:27:58,460 --> 00:28:02,140 She was telling me like oh basically saying you shouldn't wear 366 00:28:02,660 --> 00:28:04,300 old English 367 00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:06,300 Like you're trying to look like a gangster 368 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:09,740 Old English and I'm like they didn't invent old English 369 00:28:09,740 --> 00:28:11,740 What do they call it? 370 00:28:11,740 --> 00:28:13,740 Oh hello 371 00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:15,740 Exactly 372 00:28:15,740 --> 00:28:17,740 Cranky 373 00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:20,740 Is old English like proper English or is that like hello? 374 00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:23,740 The font is like a gang font 375 00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:28,340 Mm-hmm. Well, I know that old English is a type of 40. Oh 376 00:28:29,220 --> 00:28:31,220 Yeah, yeah 377 00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:35,220 I was trying to look like a gang banger or something 378 00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:37,220 Yeah 379 00:28:37,220 --> 00:28:41,060 Well, you can't you kind of are you ever had that beer it's called like mad dog. Yeah 380 00:28:41,060 --> 00:28:47,420 It was called mad dog maddest. It's got like the red dog on it. That's the coolest general name. That's called red dog 381 00:28:47,420 --> 00:28:49,420 Is that what it is red dog? 382 00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:55,080 What do you say at first mad dog? I think it's mad dog mad dog 2020 383 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:59,780 That's this the like wine drink then there's red dog beer, which is a beer, right? 384 00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:02,980 Yeah, and I think it's a bad beer too. Yeah, it sucks, but I like it 385 00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:06,120 I like yeah, my buddy my buddy Ryan Raff would always buy the 386 00:29:06,940 --> 00:29:08,180 Raff yeah 387 00:29:08,180 --> 00:29:12,440 We'd also ride in the back of his pickup truck in Iowa because there's no seatbelt laws for riding the 388 00:29:12,860 --> 00:29:15,780 If you sit in the side of the vehicle you have to wear a seatbelt 389 00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:20,460 But you can just pack people in the in the cab of the pickup truck and it's legal 390 00:29:21,740 --> 00:29:26,900 Which is awesome. See that's one good done law. Yeah, it's all need so many laws 391 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:31,160 Yeah, it's it's a law that we took advantage of his college kids, but it's made for like farms and stuff 392 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,040 Oh 393 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:39,440 It's a no-nonsense. Yeah, my pickup truck. Yeah, you pick up whoever I want in there. Mm-hmm 394 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:43,220 Yeah, I call him a picker. I call him a pick them up trucks, you know 395 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:45,880 or a 396 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:52,000 Steel horse. I heard this is just your say I heard Andrew Hofstadter rides around pickup truck 397 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,480 And I like to know who Andrew Hofstadter is who is that? 398 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,320 There's a brother said Andrew you met Steve 399 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:02,320 Oh, it's his brother. Well, that means I can say 400 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,440 I'm not talking about Steven 401 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:11,840 So how old is what's that's the age difference between Steve Hofstadter's child bride and the Steve's mom? 402 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,200 Yeah, Mrs. Hofstadter, I know you're listening cuz Google Analytics 403 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,080 I'm gonna kill your son 404 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:23,520 We have a go for yeah allegedly and your brother allegedly 405 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:28,320 Someone told him that allegedly. Yeah, somebody told me that allegedly that was gonna kill your son 406 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:35,720 Only the only the lead pipe yeah only cuz he took everything yeah. Yeah. Yeah, only because I have nothing left 407 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:38,480 Nothing left to lose 408 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,460 Isn't it free? Mm-hmm. I 409 00:30:41,460 --> 00:30:48,320 Think I saying hurt on karaoke this weekend is pretty good sounds. Yeah, I doubt it would do that 410 00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:51,500 Get pretty wet. I seriously doubt that 411 00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:56,100 I can sing any 412 00:30:56,660 --> 00:31:00,180 Highwayman song highwayman haggis in highwayman by the highwayman 413 00:31:01,020 --> 00:31:04,340 It's weird cuz it sounds like you're bragging but what you're saying doesn't impress me 414 00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:11,660 No, yeah, both can be sorry. I don't sing big moochie grape. Yeah, big moochie grape is awesome. Sorry. Sorry 415 00:31:11,660 --> 00:31:14,340 I don't think you're great. I don't think Gilbert grape it 416 00:31:14,580 --> 00:31:20,600 Am I don't listen to Gilbert grape like you do yeah, you just listen to the Gilbert grave movie you audio tape 417 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,980 I just listened to the Shrek soundtrack now. I'm a Chris Griever 418 00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,880 Yeah, we need to record that can you put that in bold letters 419 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:36,480 I wrote it down multiple places. That's one of that. I actually wanted to I'm a Chris Grieve and we'll make a poll too 420 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:46,680 Me and Tina were laughing about Max all the day and to see most songs he's made. Thank you. Yeah 421 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,720 It's like you just love singing them. I'm so passionate about them 422 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,520 It's like karaoke can be well 423 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,620 I mean, I mean if I'm gonna put that much time into editing it I may as well make it like sound good 424 00:31:57,620 --> 00:32:01,320 You know and I gotta do the full song too 425 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:09,640 We're passionate about a few things around here yeah Christ passion of the Christ 426 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,600 Dando Seymour songs 427 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:20,640 Lund Nathan Lund and anti see creature. Yeah, he looks like a sea creature that got the all the algae off him 428 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,640 Exactly oh 429 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:31,880 You know what fucking growth there's like that I'm telling ya there's like a sea creature from an old movie that walked on all fours 430 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,800 There's a covered analogy from an old movie or something. I don't know the monster from the black brown black 431 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:43,200 Lagoon, maybe it's monster from the from a really old movie. Yeah monster from the black lagoon 432 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,360 I don't know it walked on two feet 433 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:51,840 Hack lagoon yeah, so if you took off all the algae that be him talent 434 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,000 But the creature was thin compared to Sam yeah 435 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,080 No, but that 436 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,440 Had on ham it was like smaller algae so it was just a body 437 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:08,280 I wanted to like message the comedy vault when they're having him like we have Sam Talon again tonight is there 438 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:15,520 No, I wanted to just message him and be like that sucks. Mm-hmm and it would be no one your audience was saying that sounds like 439 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,940 Yeah, I mean, I think Mac is frenemies your enemy 440 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,380 Yeah, it's like me and Kiefer a little bit, but Sam hates me a little more than Kiefer 441 00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:31,440 I think uh-huh. I don't know I have different levels of frenemies with people. Yeah, I like frenemy ships I 442 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,320 Don't want to call 443 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:41,780 Ham anymore more like scam town because he pretended to be my friend and then no we need a ham use me for a bit 444 00:33:41,780 --> 00:33:46,480 No, he's he doesn't want the ham thing to get out to his all most of his fans 445 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:52,500 I don't think because he was scared to read because he put on a story one thing I posted 446 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,940 But not this like really good boomerang ahead of him 447 00:33:55,940 --> 00:34:00,880 But I put ham talent and then a bunch of pig emojis people love boomerangs and he didn't repost it 448 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:06,080 I'm so good at boomerangs. It's like the best action shots of all time 449 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,800 See I wouldn't want to be successful at comedy if I'm in I was such a slob 450 00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:15,760 Doctor wife get a job you fucking slobs. Oh 451 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,560 Fuck other guys or else that's just mean. Yeah next time 452 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:28,920 Next time Sam town asked me a question. I'm gonna say get a job you fucking slobs. Oh, I reply 453 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,080 It's like some things that success isn't always worth it 454 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:37,800 You dived in enough dumpsters. Yes cut my cucks ass is what he is 455 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:42,360 Cucks already dived in a dumpster and he got stuck in the sides already 456 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,180 I already got donuts out of it and then Peyton Ruddy stole it from him 457 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,480 And made a video 458 00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,200 It seems I remember 459 00:34:54,200 --> 00:35:00,560 I remember Peyton Ruddy was in the green room and Sam talent was there and Sam town was probably talking about diving for donuts in 460 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,900 The green room and then Peyton Ruddy had to make a video about him diving for donuts 461 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:12,080 He was talking about on JRE ham talent was talking about 462 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:18,640 He went he's waiting out the donut place for when they throw out the donuts at the end of the night so he could 463 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:24,640 Survive as a starving. Yeah, I don't listen. I don't need to do that. Sam does not look like a star 464 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,640 Yeah, I don't yeah, it's funny when you're starving but you're eating doughnuts like 465 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:37,120 Like a survival food like yeah, right. You know, I just had a bowl of rice 466 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,080 He could have had a bag of doughnuts. He could have survived for 467 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,800 years 468 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:49,360 My suffering with the strawberry cream and the Boston and maybe some John's yeah, what about all the 469 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,640 About all the starving people 470 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:59,000 Donut people under the mouse and dong greatly forwarded right now. He's just had a calorie surplus every day 471 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,280 I can't believe mouse a dong is the president of China right now 472 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,640 Crazy, I can't believe Putin's the president 473 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,200 Yeah 474 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,860 Yeah, say bong. Yeah smoke weed 475 00:36:11,860 --> 00:36:17,620 You know, it's a lint skews a metro Zell like the feature recent money. Yeah, is that lint ski? 476 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:22,240 He's a very ahead of his because they want because our government sent them all that money. Yeah 477 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:31,280 We're trolling ours through so yeah all that money in the Ukraine that would be a good shirt to sell it like a mega thing 478 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,680 Biden is 479 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,800 All the American tax money over 480 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,800 Okay 481 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:45,720 I came up with the tea. How did the Ukraine get the trillion dollars? 482 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:51,240 Well, they sell lint skewed over I was I was watching the the Trump news after you shot 483 00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:56,560 and then I came with a t-shirt idea and then the guy that I was watching it with was on Twitter and 484 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,440 And Barstool had already made that exact shirt 485 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:07,560 I want to know about Donald Crump and he does all that crump dancing. I mean that would be cool 486 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:12,840 I mean, okay, so so he got convicted. He got you get that one yet. I did our stool 487 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,480 Crump, I thought you thought I didn't get it. I know crump dancing 488 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:25,040 Anyone else think we're Putin too much money into this war and then it'll show Putin 489 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,800 Animorphs into Joe Biden. Whoa 490 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,800 I like 491 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,320 I like I like an animorph idea 492 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:32,760 Yes 493 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:37,840 I think that if Donald Crump Donald Crump would is a good idea for him to do start crumping on stage 494 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:44,280 But I think he already solidified the black vote with getting convicted and also getting grazed by a bullet. I 495 00:37:45,240 --> 00:37:50,860 Don't think black people are voting for Trump. They are a lot of people a lot of people I know are yeah 496 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:56,060 There's gonna be because you only hang out with Trump supporters. It's not true at all because you and all your friends are 497 00:37:56,060 --> 00:37:58,780 Transporters, so it's like a biased group. I am now 498 00:37:59,780 --> 00:38:03,620 Now that now that he did be pulled a bull moose, you know, the bull moose is my favorite president 499 00:38:03,620 --> 00:38:09,540 Trump's about to win his third election in a row. He's about to pull a stool moose. Yeah these Antifa people keep 500 00:38:10,620 --> 00:38:11,660 like 501 00:38:11,660 --> 00:38:15,700 They took on a Teddy Roosevelt statue in Portland and then they tried to bull moose 502 00:38:16,380 --> 00:38:20,540 Trump since this is the public episode. I can't say what I would have done to Donald Trump in prison 503 00:38:22,180 --> 00:38:23,300 Apparently 504 00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:26,380 Apparently, I wish you would have gone if you get just so I get that opportunity 505 00:38:26,380 --> 00:38:31,900 If you would have showers to be just in a room with ham talent just 24 hours. I could do whatever 506 00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:35,820 Oh, yeah, stupid, you know if you do turn on that song like 507 00:38:36,380 --> 00:38:41,780 Joe goes to the left of me. Yeah, do the right start dancing, you know, we got the razor blade 508 00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,780 Play for 24 hours 509 00:38:46,180 --> 00:38:48,180 Torture his ass 510 00:38:48,180 --> 00:38:54,260 Yeah, what else we do to him here's a car from like a yeah cars cars some ham off of him every 511 00:38:54,940 --> 00:38:56,940 meeting me to 512 00:38:57,100 --> 00:39:01,220 That's what he should have done when he was a starving comic he could just carve some ham on himself. Yeah 513 00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:09,320 He needs a calorie surplus guys unfollow Sam Talon follow Nathan one comedy 514 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:13,220 Oh, we gotta do an ad I do want to get Sam Talon. We're not 515 00:39:13,220 --> 00:39:19,420 Sponsored by Nathan Lund. We're sponsored by Nathan Lund. So following Nathan one comedy also guys go to 516 00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:21,900 Amazon and 517 00:39:21,900 --> 00:39:23,900 buy an auscane 518 00:39:23,900 --> 00:39:30,380 Finder plus wallet. It's got a cool switchblade thing for your cards. It also connects to find my iPhone so you can show them that card 519 00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:33,300 the front 520 00:39:33,300 --> 00:39:35,300 Then you say FBI 521 00:39:35,660 --> 00:39:37,660 Responsed by a wallet company. We don't recommend 522 00:39:37,660 --> 00:39:44,180 I buy it on Amazon you get 45% off. You've type a promo code bad comedy. That's that's huge 523 00:39:44,180 --> 00:39:46,500 Is what it's normally 60 bucks you get a frick 524 00:39:46,900 --> 00:39:52,620 Ten bucks something like that. That's the math I think but it actually is really good deal. This is the best wallet 525 00:39:52,620 --> 00:39:54,620 Is that real? Yeah 526 00:39:55,020 --> 00:39:57,020 Yep 527 00:39:57,300 --> 00:40:02,640 So if you want to win auscane gang just go to Amazon type in a USK and G 528 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,920 wallet get it type in bad comedy and 529 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,280 It's 530 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:15,240 45% off and then Jason you have a club's you want to talk about? Yeah 531 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:20,800 Sign up at a cool steeper club comm use the code 25% off 532 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:29,840 Use the code bad comedy for 25% off or 50 that's for tea for cold brew tea. Mm-hmm. What's your favorite? 533 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:35,160 Kenyan black is Barack Obama based tea. That's good. I like the cranberry 534 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:41,120 Cranberry cranberry Kenyan black because it's just a cranberry Barack Obama 535 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,080 Do we do we have any do we have a patreon we do a patreon? 536 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:51,680 Mad comedy podcast you can find us on patreon and then how cheap is it? 537 00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:58,200 It's 399 a month not even four dollars. Yeah, and we didn't even adjust for inflation 538 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:03,000 So we were keeping it like that and but not for that much longer. We're gonna raise it a lot 539 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,200 It's gonna be like a hundred a month 540 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:09,600 So people in your life that would like this and just send it to a few people every time 541 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,560 Yeah, yeah 542 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:15,600 And then you can build like a big get subscribed to it and then cut all the bad stuff we say out and send it to 543 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,600 The people we say it about 544 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,680 And you can 545 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,520 You can become an employee of bad comedy like Chris Skriva you get a patron 546 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:30,000 We give you commission and then you can you can get people under you and then it's and really if hell breaks loose 547 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:34,720 Which it will you want to be part of a group? Yeah on your own? 548 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:40,400 Scrambling well, that's why Pittsburgh people if you're listening. Yeah. Hell is already broken loose in Pittsburgh 549 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:45,080 It's pits of hell burg. You should join if you're not already on here. Shout out to Andy mango 550 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,760 I think he re-upped his card. He got a new card 551 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:53,880 That was a reason it declined and Andy Dewitt is still around. Shout out to Andy Dewitt 552 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,480 Take down Hofstadter for us kill him. Oh tell 553 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:04,040 Tell Trevor Austin to become a patron that drug addict. Is he back on the drugs? He spent all his money on drugs 554 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,560 He can't yeah, what the heck? 555 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:11,240 He should subscribe and then have his card he'll get addicted to this podcast have his card go get can't like 556 00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:17,200 Whatever yeah, no make it overdraw so that he gets a overdraw fee. Yeah, I 557 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:23,960 Can't spend more money on drugs. I think the problem is he has all of his money rolled up and each bill is rolled up 558 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,960 I 559 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,520 Always thought it would be sweet if you're like coke like cocaine is nice 560 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,760 But if you're Jewish is especially nice because you also get to smell money 561 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,560 You see that it is a great joke you say that in a better way though 562 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:42,520 I don't remember the right way to say it shout out to our new patron crooks 563 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,720 1776 Oh true that is but we appreciate it 564 00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:52,260 You need what you need to get that happy plants and Joel David Bolton back. Don't give away people's email addresses 565 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,200 Is that their email address? That's his username 566 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,040 We have a new feel like we read a bunch of people's 567 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:06,400 I read one email address. There was a podcast email address, okay? 568 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,600 Five notifications. I'm sure you look at these 569 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:16,400 Tell our guests who's Jewish that joke I just said, okay smelling money. Yeah, so 570 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:21,760 Okay, this is gonna be a fun one. I'm gonna buckle up now 571 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,300 No, we're having a Jewish guess Nick Patterson 572 00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:31,300 This is he likes two of our he liked two of our episodes and then cancelled Wow shout out to Nick 573 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,440 No, come back 574 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,560 I don't know 575 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:40,520 He liked the critique episode the video and the audio some people just have one friend 576 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,680 Yeah, I'm like critiques for Vastava 577 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,780 Right. That's probably like critiques like gay stalker 578 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:51,600 Who would be a gay stalker of critique? That's a very good question 579 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,960 There's no crooks on nobody wants to have sexual critique 580 00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:02,160 There's no there's no crooks on here, can I give you a pretty it's it was a bit 581 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,720 The name of the shooter. Oh 582 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,200 It was crooks. Yeah 583 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:12,400 Everybody but you knew that Kyle Rittenhouse just subscribe shot covered in house. Oh, yeah 584 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,040 What is up, bro? Yeah, I gotta add you back to this 585 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:19,120 Cuz you're on the podcast now, yeah, I think coming out 586 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,600 Yeah, a couple months what you kicked him off 587 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:26,640 No, no, just you know, I just took him out of the some of the pictures 588 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:36,400 Yeah, it's just circulated pictures of him with a gun in fairness both you and Mack are the craziest people I've ever met so 589 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:43,800 I have a friend who has got a multiple personality disorder, which we will not you guys are much worse 590 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,000 Well, you're the most mentally delusional 591 00:44:45,800 --> 00:45:08,600 I'm 592 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:53,720 Delusional mentally delusional. I believe so. I think that I suck and I'm a loser and I guess I'm delusional 593 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,640 You make good arguments 594 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,120 What do you think you are 595 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:24,920 comedy probably God I knew that you couldn't say negative things negative 596 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:33,500 things and then switched it but it's that you said positive things I've got a 597 00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:39,240 complex I mean it's people say I've got a complex I have it's not that you know 598 00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:42,480 it's not that great I haven't had that hard to understand was God mm-hmm I 599 00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:47,880 haven't M&M complex I think I'm a rap god nice that's a song and he's like he 600 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:55,640 just raps fast but talks about nothing I think Brian Rowe is one of the most 601 00:45:55,640 --> 00:46:00,240 delusional who's most delusional there's something Brian Rowe cuz like cuz like 602 00:46:00,240 --> 00:46:03,640 when he was drunk at power hour people were like making fun of him he goes I'm 603 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:08,760 gonna be famous before all of you he said that yeah it's like it's I guess 604 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:12,700 it's okay to think that once in a while like I'm gonna work hard and you'll see 605 00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:16,360 how long it's okay to think that but like to say it out loud to a room full of 606 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:20,520 people yeah comedians especially him because they know it's serious if I was 607 00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:25,080 there and I said it then you would know I would have joking nobody fucks with 608 00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:29,720 you like look at the evidence yeah evidence against but if I said it just 609 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:33,320 to Brian Rowe then I would be a hundred percent serious I said I'm be famous 610 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:41,640 before you yeah I mean maybe for like serial our star no but what would stand 611 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:50,280 out that is a serial serial our yeah that's what he'd be famous for yeah 612 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:56,800 famous for Gilbert Grape thing yeah Gilbert Groban's was he what's eating 613 00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:04,920 Gilbert Grop yeah he's gonna be famous for for Gilbert groping and Gilbert that's 614 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:09,040 our new demon time words that's great what's eating Gilbert Grop you know what 615 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:15,280 demon time means Dylan yeah it's like when it's a demons takeover and no well 616 00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,600 no it's you have to fight them off it's what YouTube does and what I mean does 617 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:22,280 they demon time us what they are because we don't was we don't want to say that 618 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:27,160 word the word when it's like the opposite of being able to be tonic 619 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:33,280 oh it's just it's gonna be a beautiful yeah to be able to say that to be able 620 00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:39,240 to think that like you're gonna be famous Ron LeBron a ties what about what 621 00:47:39,240 --> 00:47:41,880 about when I was growing up all the people brought it you're not gonna 622 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:46,800 censor me and nowadays it's like I gotta be careful what I say so I can be on a 623 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:53,240 social media platform I'll be like fuck you you can't do what you told me I'm 624 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:56,200 raging against the machine and no one can censor me George Bush doesn't care 625 00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:00,560 about black people I might upload our people against each other and then they 626 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:04,960 all nowadays it's like I will give you guys 30 cents if you don't say this word 627 00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:09,520 I might like I was like I'm so careful not to say the word now I've been 628 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:15,240 thinking about 30 cents I've been thinking about uploading our archive of 629 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:22,240 of public episodes on a rumble okay I thought it was live streaming it's all 630 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:25,800 those videos okay I got a rumble account I was rumble 631 00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:30,600 mince I did I wanted to do that one of the same talent episode because it only 632 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:34,880 allowed it only allows so many gigabytes I wanted to live stream on that fucking 633 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:38,960 one that doesn't have ads but there's like no one on the platform and I'm a 634 00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,040 nobody so I don't get anybody watching don't say it don't say that about 635 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:45,960 yourself kick when it comes to live streaming I do it once a week for an 636 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:50,440 hour which is most people live stream for like eight hours Jason you're not 637 00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:54,160 a nobody I do one hour a week and Jason five people you're not a nobody you're 638 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:58,200 right not I'm delusional I'm a somebody 639 00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:04,320 so my folks if you think that Jason's a humble guy what do you just just listen 640 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:09,680 to a few other episodes you know I got five brain doctors because my brain is so 641 00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:14,880 big no good stuff that fatty brain whatever brain is mostly fat that's 642 00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:19,440 normal being fed is actually a sign of intelligence what are brains even made 643 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:28,360 out of spaghetti or some shit don't worry it's for us big brain people to 644 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:33,440 worry about what the brain is made out of keep playing with your toys and your 645 00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:41,400 shapes vomit on a sweat already mom's brain mom's bring it mom's brain yeah I 646 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:45,600 was explaining that I have to wear the baddie hat cuz if it's a plain hat 647 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:55,000 people say slim shady or he's a shooter he looks like a shooter so as he's 648 00:49:55,000 --> 00:50:10,720 talking no I respect it I respected the reason we had the reason we added you to 649 00:50:10,720 --> 00:50:16,480 the podcast last week because because we saw you had that baddie head on we 650 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:18,960 thought that was kind of cool and they kind of that kind of fit in with the 651 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:23,200 whole pod thing yeah probably people like me more price you dead thing 652 00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:27,480 through the laundry one time but yeah that's very cool yeah test fire did it 653 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:32,480 used to be you the hat used to be what do you say white baddie and white maybe 654 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:36,120 hit that thing with a tied pen it would just be a blank you try hit it with a 655 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:47,000 tied pen tell us more about what you do to Sam Talon jail okay so would you 656 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:53,720 Gilbert Gropam I could Gilbert grapple would you grapple him you big moochie 657 00:50:53,720 --> 00:50:58,880 group group I would do nothing sexual yeah you're a Gilbert grapple him 658 00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:05,760 but yeah be way too hard to get it up to Gilbert great uh-huh and no I would 659 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:11,920 just probably is algorithm smart enough to catch on probably would you grape ape 660 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:17,720 him I would tell him how I'm gonna do great babe a baton ape squeeze that for 661 00:51:17,720 --> 00:51:22,640 the word great babe I got me some baby a big purple I would make him do push-ups 662 00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:27,240 he can't even do them I would make him do girl push-ups until his arms yeah 663 00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:33,120 lapsed I'm gonna buy him dollar shave club when he gets out of here giving you 664 00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:37,360 a razor right yeah and then I'll be hiding in the whole thing there's a 665 00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:41,680 plant in the corner of the cell but it was be me the whole time for like a year 666 00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:46,720 and I'll pop out and like this like stab him but like just like not that hard I 667 00:51:46,720 --> 00:51:51,560 would say I'm gonna Mac is gonna pop out of any bush you find might be mad yeah 668 00:51:51,560 --> 00:52:00,400 on the yard yeah he'd be so scared I'd be texting his wife like right in front 669 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:06,760 of him yeah every time he falls asleep he just punch him in the face the 670 00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:12,560 physical of what I was trying to say about Trump in jail is if you went to 671 00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:20,520 jail they said that one was being weird or is on my leg or something I don't 672 00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:24,680 know that's why I put it over there you're a cam telling apologize forever 673 00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:30,880 stepping on people are being mean and yeah we should cancel we should meet to 674 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:39,520 Sam town for being mean to us yeah and if you guys ever happen no we guys 675 00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:45,240 watches Joe Rogan I didn't watch I watched his comedy and Nathan one wasn't 676 00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:49,160 even on the show why wasn't why wasn't Nathan London the Joe Rogan with him I 677 00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:54,080 don't know those that was BS seems like he's not why wasn't in London not Joe 678 00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:57,640 and not Sam I bet you know nothing happened I think this is like a 679 00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:01,360 teledigging nights type of thing where he's will ferrell and he's gonna take 680 00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:06,280 all the credit yeah when London's just as good as him but I bet I bet Nathan 681 00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:10,440 one got invited on and Sam was like no I'm the one who wins the races right 682 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:15,160 then he so if we could fuck with Sam's head then Nate yeah well his whole life 683 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:22,160 we'll have to convince Sam talent that he's like a paraplegic or something like 684 00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:26,120 like what feral thought I do have to get his wife involved at this point I'm 685 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:31,920 gonna message her about and then he'll hear about it from her and it'll just 686 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:39,120 create just plant a seed yeah and you coming for your wife I met his wife one 687 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:43,120 time wise I slept over at his house huh you slept with his wife I slept over at 688 00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:47,640 his house I just sleep at Sam town's wife he was he was living in a dumpster 689 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:52,520 full of donuts huh this house is like it was so gross like out back on his weird 690 00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:57,680 couch he's like please be quiet my wife is here and then she seemed like really 691 00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:02,480 annoyed by me being there I'm sorry I just need a place to sleep in Denver he 692 00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:05,440 fell asleep he was supposed to let us in and then there was like a drunk girl in 693 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:11,200 his bushes scared the shit out of me and Joe Fernandez stayed over there sounds 694 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:15,360 like he was having an affair there's me and Joe miss miss talented no he was 695 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:19,080 asleep she was there was a woman outside his gate in the bushes I wonder if he 696 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:24,320 locked her purse the next day wonder if he locks her out after no cuz his wife 697 00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:30,560 was there wait yeah this is all true story hold on hold on what if this lady 698 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:34,000 broke in pretended to be his wife and his wife is actually the one of the 699 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:39,080 bushes well I feel like his wife's not because I remember I saw both their 700 00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,680 faces well what if it was a double like Trump there would be have to be two 701 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:47,040 doubles because I saw the bush face no the double and it was like Sam town I 702 00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:53,440 think they're like an oh Sam was fake I didn't think about Sam Talents fake 703 00:54:57,080 --> 00:55:07,760 trying to find a double for Sam we just we'd have to go to a bowling alley 704 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:12,360 yeah you need like a guy who's a guy got in this bowling alley where you can still 705 00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:17,400 smoke yeah you need to like mate mate together like you need like mate 706 00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,560 together like Tim Dylan and John Hickok or something just like it's 707 00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:26,000 disrespectful to your audience and your wife and everyone you stepped on that 708 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,840 you just dress like such a grubby scrub imagine what do you mean he wears 709 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:35,360 button-ups now where's fucking shorts that show his disgusting body yeah I'm 710 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:40,040 just like a button I'm not wearing my shorts you are wearing your and my same 711 00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:48,000 talent tattoo his fucking face shitty glass no hat he looks like there's no 712 00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:54,440 hat wearing ass or mo good would hate him that his hatless ass he does look 713 00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:59,640 like a pepper the pig character you think you know pepper the pig if he 714 00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:05,000 tried to look uglier could he I don't think he could well that's that's part 715 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,200 of why people are laughing is he's so ugly they're just like they're having at 716 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:11,800 him not with him I'm gonna start booking appointments with his wife or whatever 717 00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:27,040 the abortion abortion doctor yeah yeah see if she does like PTSD stuff and then 718 00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:31,160 you could just talk about your issues with this comedian Sam talent just gotta 719 00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:40,560 get some people pregnant yeah yeah just start using women to move to well there 720 00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:43,960 are Michigan now I think she's my abortion doctor there are they in 721 00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:49,600 Michigan now I don't know I think this is a different state I'll follow them to 722 00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:54,360 New Zealand or wherever they do he does comedy they do live on Washington Street 723 00:56:54,360 --> 00:57:01,600 on Washington and Maine in in Grand Rapids Michigan nice I think it's at 724 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:07,720 least 1802 that's the year so descend upon that house 725 00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:11,960 baddies yeah actually please don't cuz that's not I just made that up I don't 726 00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:16,240 know but just I wonder if you can get trouble even though it was a fake address 727 00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:20,760 oh for sure for doxing well no not for doxing but if a baddie actually it 728 00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:27,280 descended upon I got chicken ducks well we got some ride or dies like you know 729 00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:31,640 like like Chris Grieva he went undercover as a fat guy and Cruz is 730 00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:34,880 just looking for an excuse so you just never know how many guys are gonna be 731 00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:38,360 booking appointments with your wife Chris Grieva was the perfect undercover 732 00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:42,920 guy cuz he cuz Sam town loves being surrounded by fat people he does that's 733 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:51,920 not really Sam's choice that's gravity yeah this guy's hogging all the gravity 734 00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,920 yeah well Isaac Newton come up with these laws after getting brain damage 735 00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:59,320 by an apple thinking he's a lawyer Sam knows all about that but just cuz he 736 00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:04,680 thought he was gonna get a fig Newton yeah and an apple pie instead of like an 737 00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:10,400 apple falls on him he just picks up a dozen doughnuts at Baker's does any what 738 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:13,720 so people say the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree what if it's like a big 739 00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:16,920 big-ass apple tree that with long branches what if the trees on a hill 740 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:21,120 yeah yeah what if it's right over a cliff you know that reminds me what I 741 00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:24,440 was thinking about in the way here is I thought you know how they used to do 742 00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,980 that thing where like kids would build their own car and then you you like ride 743 00:58:27,980 --> 00:58:33,140 it down a hill yeah and whoever wins wins us three should do that we should 744 00:58:33,140 --> 00:58:38,760 all build our own car okay well I did the IQ test 745 00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:42,800 I did you would you get perfect score I don't remember I did do it though it was 746 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:48,520 really hard I did a well I was taking a shit and it was really hard and I got 747 00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:52,560 like I think I think I was like 20 points above average or something I think we 748 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:56,920 should all do it after Nathan leaves I already did I have my results 749 00:58:56,920 --> 00:59:02,040 screenshotted yeah we all have to do it here I'm not gonna do it I didn't I 750 00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:06,080 didn't try hard I did was shitting oh you didn't well yeah but we'll be it's 751 00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:09,720 hard we'll be under the it's hard as shit how many questions was it a lot 752 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:13,920 that's why it was so annoying I have my legs were going was it was done shitting 753 00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:19,120 I was still taking the towel were you locked in pizza time she was timed and 754 00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:23,760 folks it yeah if you don't know about his whole bathroom pizza situation is a 755 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:28,360 clip coming out on Monday with it I actually edited a clip talking about it 756 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:34,600 yeah his living yeah they're just like the I don't want to know Leslie Tanner 757 00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:42,880 thing his no his uh his lovely partner it's like a jail food thing now his 758 00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:47,080 girl she puts pieces under the door whatever we talked about it many times 759 00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:53,520 live I guess I know but comedy fans know I described it to dr. Leslie Tanner he 760 00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:57,240 has a hole cut in the side of the bathroom or she cut it and she's got 761 00:59:57,240 --> 01:00:00,400 it's got one of those you know how those horse barns they have like a door that 762 01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:05,080 opens on top yeah she throws a bucket of water over that that's how she bathes 763 01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:08,960 and then this has professor pizza making Pizza Hut from outside of it for hours 764 01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:15,880 while she goes shopping this credit card I really offended professor pizza by 765 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:23,600 calling him mr. pizza yeah I guess PhD uh-huh yeah I call him dr. Pete yeah 766 01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:28,440 yeah that's what I call it Sam Talon's wife I call him senior pizza and he was 767 01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:37,320 like I'm Italian I'm not Mexican I'm not amazing so women told me he's like 768 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:45,360 gross no well he's Italian they're all like they're all they all what's eating 769 01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:51,800 Gilbert groping yeah no I mean no okay no I'm gonna tell me I'm gonna defend 770 01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:56,320 him here all Italians do that but gross all right you know yeah how I guess we 771 01:00:56,320 --> 01:01:00,640 need to compare them to the average for Italian yeah this is not this is not 772 01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:05,880 this is nature not nurture this is this is just it's not he's not a bad guy for 773 01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:10,800 it it's his heritage yeah yeah yeah yeah he has no choice to be hairy and smell 774 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:15,400 like garlic and grope women go get the real grope ones he's got spaghetti brains 775 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:19,960 documentary last night about these like kind of people who have a chromosome 776 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:28,200 disorder and and then you know I'm 20 points above average IQ I guess there's 777 01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:33,400 some shit yeah when you cheated on the test what do you think pooping is like a 778 01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:40,840 is a PED no I mean you have a lot of different monitors you probably want you 779 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:44,120 probably weren't pooping I did have my phone poop while pooping yeah I just 780 01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:47,240 don't know if you're you videotape you pooping while you're doing it yeah I 781 01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:51,160 have a video of me to make sure I wasn't cheating yeah from the front and back 782 01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:55,960 need so you can see that there was no test should be an IQ test I honestly I 783 01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,520 honestly don't even know how you would cheat on this because a lot of it was 784 01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:03,600 like we have to go the memory type stuff we have to go to the pro metric testing 785 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:07,020 center and do it different bullshit we're being watched yeah how about we 786 01:02:07,020 --> 01:02:12,480 just do it after this and compare it to Jason score yeah I believe that Jason 787 01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:19,760 only I think I think Dylan will be I think it won't be good at it weirdly so 788 01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:23,500 what does that tell you if I take it a bunch of times and I don't think I won 789 01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:26,440 that I definitely would I haven't taken it yet there I thought we would all take 790 01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:29,320 it together at least two of us take it together we'll do the honor system 791 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:32,840 Jason can you text us your screenshot yeah it's probably not the same 792 01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,920 questions every time and we'll just double check and we didn't get a figured 793 01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:40,080 out once I doubt it's the same question every time so you guys are both Jason 794 01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:45,800 didn't try that hard Mac you sent us the test you're saying I bet it's not even 795 01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:50,280 accurate no I said I said I said I said I bet it's not the same questions every 796 01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:54,780 time so the questions are not what you think the questions are not what you 797 01:02:54,780 --> 01:02:59,080 guys think once you take it you'll see there well it's weird what is it like 798 01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:02,480 nail in ballots gonna be it's like it's like we're gonna show you a bunch of 799 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:06,200 shapes and then you have to remember which shapes you saw it's like memory 800 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:11,800 stuff I was hoping spatial reasoning and I was hoping okay how do you spell IQ 801 01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:20,400 just I'd be like I miss that question okay it says at the top that's what you 802 01:03:20,400 --> 01:03:27,240 missed out on I think yeah thanks for listening folks we'll close on the 803 01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:33,360 killer IQ joke I just did it do you have any plugs Dill even shows coming up this 804 01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:37,760 comes out tomorrow Monday I come to fresh faces I mean today Monday on 805 01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:43,280 Tuesday can watch me do five minutes fresh faces are you your brand new 806 01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:49,960 where is that there you go I think they had they had Kiefer on fresh faces 807 01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,960 first of all his face is not fresh at all 808 01:03:55,960 --> 01:04:00,360 Brandon Kiefer has the least fresh face of anybody and he also did a comedy for 809 01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:07,280 30 years they made a move they made him take a bath you plug your socials 810 01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:13,200 drink Mike's harder black cherry lemonade brand comedy batty Brandon Kiefer seems 811 01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:16,520 like he takes baths outdoors like it do you ever see Django and chain when he's 812 01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:20,360 like bathing in the bucket he's just sitting there 813 01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:31,640 yeah yeah no he definitely has a big wash basin that he sits in yeah he's 814 01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:38,880 dumping water on him Albers sponges him it's like a bro thing because they both 815 01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:43,640 do it for each other this is how we got a bathe here we only got one bathroom 816 01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:49,160 Jason oh I'm doing a show August 3rd with Justin Gullack check it out I'm 817 01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:52,520 gonna sell tickets for it soon toxic waves yeah buddy awesome time I want to 818 01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:57,320 vouch for a couple guys and Joe like very funny putting it together but we're 819 01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:02,280 gonna sell tickets soon okay cool bad comedy oh you can get tickets go to my 820 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:06,240 Instagram I'll have it in my bio cool Jason Melton I'm gonna follow up the 821 01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:11,240 comedy bar on more details for getting tickets but just beginning of September 822 01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:14,820 or just be ready for the bad comedy live show it's gonna be on to Sunday wake me 823 01:05:14,820 --> 01:05:21,000 up when September begins it should be on the eighth follow me a bad boy comedy go 824 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:27,160 to the Gus and Joe lecture and then unfollow Sam Talon and follow at Nathan 825 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:33,400 Lynn comedy catch me on pretty much every big stage in Chicago most comedy 826 01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:39,240 clubs I'm headlining the weekends and then I got a show with Jeff Christmas 827 01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:48,800 on Christmas yeah it's a it's at a it's an elementary school he wanted something 828 01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:54,240 he wanted to do in his right he said it's gonna be hot yeah yeah because it's 829 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:59,120 like it's winter you know perform for kids when I when I say this is a hot 830 01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:02,120 crowd I mean that in two ways 831 01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:10,560 might be a double untouched Jeff Christmas you love your kids the very 832 01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:15,520 next day well that's how I went I went to jail yeah it's part of his contract 833 01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:20,960 that most most elementary schools don't read his his payment contract but he 834 01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:23,960 only gets paid in kids 835 01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:32,400 that Jeff Christmas long alright folks we love you and we'll catch you when the 836 01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:55,000 moon hits the sky let's throwback you