Hey everybody, welcome to the bad comedy podcast. My name is Mac Nepper lifestyle influencer.
If you're looking to gain swag, improve your lifestyle, if you want to live like me, someone
who has a really awesome life, just check out my story to Instagram and I'm here with
of course. My name is Jason Belton.
Belton. Oh nice. Wow, I love that look, dude. Thanks. You look hot. This is that's the name
when I wear this look, Jason Belton. This belt on. Yeah. Is that a Nathan Lund shirt?
Yep. Shout out to Nathan Lund. That's my favorite comedian. Yeah, I'm going to be doing a poor
job of taking his place this week. Oh, wait for Sam talent. Oh, so wait, so I wish I was
open for Nathan Lund. Wait, so Lund isn't going to be on the Wednesday show. As far as
I've heard, despite my protests, I despite my sit in campaign, I want to refund and a
refund then. Do you hear about the fat person from civil rights? And when they did a sit
in, they didn't sit in around Congress. They sat in Congress. Yeah, it was a really hard
to have. Yeah. He was a big civil rights guy and not just a man big in two senses. No,
Michael King Jr. was probably the biggest Michael King Jr. Yeah, I didn't name him.
Well, not not because he's dead, but his real name is Michael King Jr. That's true. Well,
that was his, his original name. Yeah. So I'm dead naming his name, not naming him.
Well, I guess I'm double dead naming him. So I double dead name. Yeah, I drank 20 bottles
above in the club this weekend. No way. I bet we're getting tipsy. Yeah. Urban. Yeah.
Her body in the club was. Whoa. Yeah. I mean, I popped up out the bed to my swag on. I took
a look in the mirror and I said, so what's the, I said, I said, Hey, so what's the, I
said, Hey, I said, what's up, folks, my sister got married this weekend. Like my people call
up my hot sister. So she's off limits. Okay, so if you try to bang her, you'll have to
deal with me and Jake Bork. He's kind of, he's kind of a coward. You have to deal with
me. His last name is Bork. No, she didn't take his last name because it was so bad.
Yeah, it's bad. The worst last name of all time. Bork. Shout out to Dr. Kaborky and our
patron Bork. That sounds like a sex move I'd like to use on your hot sister. Yeah, there's
literally no worse last name when a borker. I get it. There's literally no worse. That's
maybe the worst last name. I actually knew a guy named John Borg with a G. That's better.
Yeah, slightly. Yeah, it's like, it's cool. It's like your cyborg. Yeah. Yeah, I think
it was a Star Trek. Bork. The Borg. Yeah. People call him Bork Chop. Blair Borg. Blair
Borg. That'd be a way better name than Blair Porchow. Blair Borg Chop. Blair Borg Chop.
She should have married my brother. Yeah. And cut the chop hyphenated Bork hyphenated
Bork Chop. Yeah, I think with the last names, they're just, they're not hyphenating it.
They're just keeping it their own. What do you think MC lights even Blair up to? I know
that they're not being funny. You know what I do? I picture them living in a house and
then they both go to work during the day and they come home and she has like a flower garden
and he's playing with Legos. He's playing with Legos. No, no, he's just on the couch
and kind of like waves his head a little bit. Well, it's earring dangles. Yeah, he dangles.
And he's like, well, like some like watches. Turns on a fan and it dangles his earring.
Yeah. Yeah. It's like dangles that shit all around. Yeah. If you don't know MC lights,
he is. We chase them out of comedy. Him and Blair Pork Chop. A long time ago. This is
what happens when you fuck with the podcast. Ruth. We literally make people quit comedy.
They just don't mess with us. Otherwise we're pretty nice guys to be honest. TBH. Yeah.
And we, I mean, we do have a wall full of ops. Check out my shout out in the Jerry
Hamedi magazine on Instagram. You got a shout out from months ago. Everyone's like, he's
the nicest guy ever. I was speaking of that. That's what everyone said. I need to dig up
the clip of Jerry promising us to be in a comedy as though if we went two years in a
row, because we came to an agreement that I was cool with us even just having a little
sidebar thing. Yeah. And he isn't contacting me. Come on. We want to be in your magazine
on Instagram. Yeah. We want to be in your Instagram magazine that no one reads. We want
to be on your website that people only see through Instagram. Yeah. He also prints it
too, which is terrible for the environment. Yeah. Especially since I just throw them all
away when I find them stacked up as a way to throw them away in the garbage can next
to the recycling bin. Yeah. Sometimes he puts like posters up for him around the city. I
take them all down. I go, Hey, I tell my friend, Hank, can you throw these away in the garbage
can next to the recycling bin? They go, you want me to put them in the recycling bin?
I go, no, no, put them in the garbage. Yeah. I want people to see that this comedy is
all company. I don't want this to be reused for something on accident. This is this is
trash. I want this in the land. Yeah, this is garbage. Yeah. Hopefully it's under a
fucking used condom or something. And Jerry, like the amount of support we've given the
comedy gazelle and I risked my life for the gazelles and just nothing, nothing from you.
Yeah. It's a real shame. So I'm struggling to think of anyone more ungrateful than Jerry
how it's unbelievable. He's just and I brought it up to him and he and he was so you know,
Mike is Drake. He's more ungrateful than Drake who says he's sort of like no one ever helped
him. Yeah. So for the bottom, yeah, made his way to the top of the bottom of his in
ground pool, even though people gave him like acting opportunities from like a childhood
like he was completely he's a child. Yeah, Jerry homity is more ungrateful than Drake.
Wow. I just want to be successful. It's like, bro, you were like one of the main characters
of Degrassee as a kid. Yeah, I know you're Canadian money. You're getting paid as a
worst shit. Yeah. He's nothing in your, in your, your leftist prime minister is black
face. Canada's hilarious. I love Canada. Honestly. I never been there, but I love Toronto. I
love into Toronto. The idea of Canada is funny to me. It's like, I like how they had a sweet
like how they had like a crackhead mayor. Yeah, dude, Rob Ford. He died, right? Yeah.
That's, that's a figure. Rest in, rest in peace. Rob Ford video compilations are Rob
Ford. So good. Amazing. But my favorite is when he arm wrestles Hulk Hogan. There's a
video of those two guys together is classic. You know, they had a good time. Yeah. There's
a video of him talking like whatever their Congress is or something in their house.
It was so funny. I forgot what it was. You know, it's funny is I, I, I work with a bunch
of Canadians. They know everything about our government. You know how we don't even know
what they're, we said their Congress. We don't know what it is. So does England. So does
it. The all everyone knows about us. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know shit about the most important.
Yeah. Thank you. Everyone knows about Donald Trump. I don't know shit about that. The Donald
Trump looking guy that they had. You mean Donald duck? No. Remember when I think it
was Boris Johnson? The guy who said that it was the Chris Christie or something. It was
one of those. Do you even see this clip? He's like, uh, I'm sure I have. Uh, Donald Trump
hasn't been coming to any of the debates. I guess we should call him Donald duck. And
he says it like everyone's going to laugh and nobody laughs or reacts at all. It's a
good joke. He's like, he's like, he's ducking out of these things. Yeah. It is a good joke.
But the fact that he's doing it and he's trying to beat Trump and give Trump a nickname the
way Trump gives everyone else a nickname. Yeah. I didn't work at all. I like it in the Chris
Christie, like Italian type of voice. I think I did it way better than he did. He should
have hired me to do it. He goes, and for this last part of the speech, I'm going to bring
Jason on and I'll come up to him be like, he's Donald duck now. Yeah. And everyone's
like, yeah, I always support the fat guy and that was running for office. Um, so like,
oh, I felt pretty bad when Chris Christie, like, I always put some extra support in the
stage. I felt bad when Chris Christie, like after the election or after the primaries,
he clearly wasn't going to win and that Trump was like, uh, selected as their main guide,
their main guy. And then like Chris Christie just became his like slave. Yeah. That was
sad. He looked so sad. And he Trump would, was there something I don't know if I'm quoting
somebody else or something, but like they were at dinner and then he like ordered for
him. He's like, yeah, he'll take the salad. Like he's just started bullying him mercilessly.
He probably did the, he's like, you don't get to eat. He probably did the joke that
you're, uh, oh yeah, Chris Christie. He'll take page one and page two. Fat fuck. I'm
doing the same voice for all of them. I don't know. Trump's got to be fun to have dinner
with. I don't love to take page one and page two. I don't know how to do it. Let's take
page one, page two, take a million pages, every page, every, every, every entree you
have on the menu. Go next door. See what they have.
Bring it up. No, I would love to have dinner with Trump. Just just just just. Yeah. Dinner
with Trump or a hundred thousand dollars dinner with Trump flip it to a million. How about
this? I'll take the million. I take the hundred thousand dollars in almost every case except
dinner with Wayne Brady or a hundred thousand dollars or Mr. Hans, Mr. Had dinner with Mr.
Hans or a hundred thousand dollars. Mr. Hans. Yeah, me too. I just to get a photo and prove
he's still alive. I've been trying to prove he's still alive for ages. Yeah. Um, do you
think Joe Biden remembers anything or has remembered anything in the past 10 years?
Uh, I don't, I mean, clearly he's on like something, right? Like he's remembering and
saying stuff. He's up there. Yeah. I mean, they're definitely giving him stuff to make
him have like to be there. But this is a lot of videos of him just looking so confused
standing. Yeah. There's a video I saw of him recently where everyone's dancing and he's
kind of standing with his like the Juneteenth party. Yeah. Yeah. His hands are kind of like
up like a cat's hands. Like they're like, yeah, like a little dog, like standing on
his hind legs. Yeah. He's standing like that and he's got this crazy like Jack O'lantern
smile on his face and everyone around him is just dancing because they could still move.
I was watching. He looks like he's high as fuck. He looks like he looks like fucking
like peeking on mushrooms on his face. Um, I was watching Bill Marr, which I don't normally
watch because I'm not a lip cook. And, and I just hate, I just hate how hard of an atheist
is he represent liberals? I thought everyone hated. Well, he, he definitely means way more
left. Yeah. Yeah. True. But, um, yeah, I hate how much I'm rich. People pay him to make
the left look bad. They're like, yeah, keep being left as he makes it look so ugly. He
did that religious movie was horrible. Who's that governor of New York Cuomo that him on
and someone else, but I was watching it because there was what was on the hotel room. Um,
Oh, I just hit how hardcore of an atheist he is. He's like, you don't know. Yeah. Yeah.
He's such a, he made a movie like how to create these are like are just as bad as hardcore
religious people. You're full of shit. He made this movie called religious. It was about
like atheism. And he interviewed a bunch of religious people, but he found the craziest
people to interview. Uh-huh. He'd like interview like a Jesus impersonator who really believes
and he's like, explain the Holy Trinity. Me and this like, well, it's all three and
it's one at the same time. He's like, you're crazy. How is it three? And it's one. Yeah.
I mean, it's like the, the Trinity, you're not convincing anybody. The Trinity is false.
I know this because I'm God. Okay. Explain it. And my son is Jesus and the Holy Spirit
is my, my comedy. Um, and then so it's, it's three, three different things. It's three
different things now, but they're not all one. Yeah. It's not all one. So that's one
thing that, um, people have misrepresented from my, from the writings of the, uh, people,
people I've talked to, my profits and my son. Um, what were you saying about him? I'll go
down all these. People back in the day had these normal ass names like Matthew, marker,
Lincoln, job, like they just had these basic S ham and Bali and Judas and Jesus homes.
Oia, the reason, oh, I guess Joshua is the English version. Somebody just explained this
in their standup like whatually they should have had less normal names, you know. Hell
I mean clearly the reason we're named those how come there's no Jamal's in the Bible, huh?
Where's the Tyrone's huh? Well, there was what one of the most no hold on one of the most powerful
Kings of Persia was named Darius. Oh
That's pretty sick
I've been Xerxes
Son of Xerxes. Well Xerxes is Persian isn't he?
Yeah, so as a so as Darius this Persian. Yeah as well as well. Mm-hmm. So Darius so one of the most powerful
One of those powerful Kings emperors
Of all time the wrecked like half the world and owned it was a black black man owned a black Persian named Darius
Fuck yeah, and we know he's black because his name is Darius. Yeah
Darius Kennedy and then also the comedian from Chicago
Also, Hannibal Burris across across the Alps in Roman days is Hannibal a black name because I only know Hannibal Burris
It's like what guy it's like not anybody's name except his that I've ever met so there's also a Hannibal Lecter. Hold on
Yeah, yeah one white guy. Yeah, no one white guy one black. I think it's a I think it's non-binary racially
non-racial binary. Yeah
My my trans cousin was at my sister's wedding. Oh, yeah, how'd that go?
Actually fine. We didn't talk much, but I just assumed yeah, because there was nobody you know get out of here
You're free. Yeah, she's one of those
That we don't know which side to put you on the bridesmaids of the grooms. Yeah
She's one of those like leftist that loves that loves to talk about like
Leftist stuff and should I another stuff even if it's not in the conversation
Oh, that's just to start doing it. Just like politics or her life
Right, and I just assumed that she thinks I'm transphobic or something. Yeah, yeah, which I'm not oh
Okay, whoops. I thought I thought you're gonna be like yes, so she knows also my trans also my
Transparent's joke is not transphobic if anybody thinks it is explain explain to me how it is. It's work play
Thank you. I think everybody thinks it's about to be transphobic and then they're like
Someone someone didn't Pittsburgh and they want want what it and then I said want want
Well, maybe they want want wide the fact that it's a pun because you can want want what pun
Yeah, but it got laughs and then I got a want want one guy and then I thought it was I said
Wow, I want to you bitch Wow, maybe he was just I'm the one on stage
Maybe he was just talking about one of their gas stations. Don't they have
There they get there maybe he's hungry
Pennsylvania gas station there's a main restaurant
And then no, yeah, yeah sheets and while yeah
This afterwards you have to take a big sheets. Yeah
the Chris Grieva
He's putting his hot dogs. He's eating to good use lifting. He's getting swole. Oh, is he getting swole? Shout out to
That's not all picture of me and I felt like I looked like Chris Grieva and I should find that and send it to him
Say this is say this is when I got off the hot dogs or I got off the hot dogs after this
Hey Chris Grieva
One month off of hot dogs. You honestly taking dry January. You look like you look like Chris Christie with that with this belt
Yeah, like I feel like if he was dressed like business casual he would definitely wear that
All right. I mean my dad does this
Yeah, for sure. Is he a chubbier guy for sure and I feel like he's shrinking though and we seem tiny
We realize he's probably gay or weird one of those two
He came to the we did the yeah, buddy awesome time and my dad came and he got drunk and everybody loved him like junior and Maggie and
Donnie we're all like your dad's so cool
And I'm like I'm just like starting to tense up because he's getting drunk and usually something really horrific happens
Yeah, after he gets drunk and everyone's like he's the greatest and in my head. I'm like getting nervous for some traumatic
Yeah, it was really interesting. That's me a lot of that's family. That's you. That's me a lot of the times
Because I'm your drug family. Yeah, as you know, like this is actually really bad with this
Like I'm the life of the party and then I hit the black hole. No, you're saying yeah, then you do some damage
Yeah, I was like makes really fun and then the next thing you know, you're kicking over a chair at Courtney's wedding
God damn you. I'm gonna get fat and gay. Yeah
Yeah
I'm more worried about him pulling a gun on my brother
I'm not gonna get a gun on my brother. I'm not gonna get a gun on my brother.
Something very dangerous and scary that would ruin my family forever. My gay brother says the F slur so much.
Does he?
To people called everyone F slurs.
That rules. Yeah
Yeah, at one point he was like really woke when he had this really woke boyfriend and then now he doesn't give a shit about shit.
Supermodel now he makes a lot of money now. Oh, yeah, he's walking around New York taking pictures of little people I hear
He wants he wants to invite Adam Gilbert to his studio for a photo shoot. Yeah, he should do it. I know but
Charlie was like
It doesn't feel exploited of it all
I told Charlie like like you definitely just did this because
It was like a freak show thing. Is that what it is? Yeah, I think well, I think kind of subconscious
but but I
Told him the message Gilbert to Gilbert would do it. Yeah, you'd also get some free headshots out of it, too
And stuff, you know
Adam rules, you know, so I hope and he and he was more than any rules with the rolls of the punches
I think Charlie wants to do like short people things like I don't know like I remember once I'm a Kyle Lane of the comedy bar
Got me to come shoot a commercial for Geno's East. They had a bunch of comedians come like do different takes
Yeah, how about it's very rushed get back to me about the date of our live show
So when it was my turn you're supposed to take a bite of pizza and say
Story about getting too drunk or something and he's like can you try and get the pizza all over your face?
And I'm like, are you just using me because I'm fat like like a fat guy eating pizza?
Yeah, it was like really like Kyle Kyle Kyle Kyle's definitely the type of guy Kyle. Do you know I'm an intellectual?
Yeah, Kyle seems like he'd exploit people for sure. He just knows the biz, you know, yeah, yeah
He's he's he goes hold on you you discovered a new physics principle
But you look like a freak you can get you a remake of the movie Freaks exactly Stephen Hawking. He's
He uses what works
Um, he's Machiavellian. I'm Machiavellian
I wonder if Stephen Hawking they ever tried to use an iron on him to get some of them wrinkles out of his neck
Isn't it weird that he talked to your robot? Yeah
It's weird
honestly, um
RFK jr. Would oh god, he would sound better if you had one of those cancer
They should remove his throat. Yeah, they should cut out his throat and give him the robot voice
When I worked in emergency room, there was a little girl with a three-year-old girl with a trachea out of me
She had a
And she was talking I was like, oh damn that three-year-old sounds just like Stephen Hawking
And she's going hello daddy. Hello. I went candy. Where's my daddy?
Mommy, I don't want a shot
Mommy, can I please have a cigarette?
And then uh, I you then she discovered a
A formula for going backwards in time. I'm I'm Ray Leota and I used to smoke
And then I took chantix and I got the side effect that makes you die
Rest in peace Ray Leota
Yeah, I got I got the side effect that they say really fast at the end where you die
But at least I don't smoke
Yeah
Um
Rest in peace. Oh, Stephen Hawking and that three-year-old girl. So, you know, you know, I one of that story is done now
Yeah, you know how I was uh, I flew like uh, and I've seen shit. No, I flew to honk. I flew to Hong Kong last week
Yeah, I thought you were on
At the lowlita express. No, no, no
I've only been on that one once sorry panda express. I went to yeah, I went to the pepsi island
That's awesome. What do you do there? Drink a lot of pepsis. That rules like ice cold pepsis. Oh, yeah, they got ice
They got pepsis their rules. I like pepsi from a can. Yeah. Yeah, me too. I
Yeah, coke's better from a bottle pepsi's better from a can. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Yeah, so but I was I was in
in Hong Kong, uh, just spent a day there because I didn't meet with one of my uh,
Yeah, jolly beans. Well, it was one of my used to billionaire hand investor jolly beans. No, not jolly beans
No, different chills in mainland China. Yeah. Oh, god, Hong Kong is the uh
Hong Kong is the capitalist beacon of China. Sure. It's the one bright shining
Light in China. Uh-huh. So I was meeting with this investor in Hong Kong. My favorite part of China is Taiwan
And um
We had dinner I closed the deal obviously and then they they brought the check out and um, I was finishing up some
paperwork on our deal. I didn't notice they dropped the check
The business he pulled out his wallet to pay for the meal and I was like, and I was like, yeah, I was like, no, no, no
I got this. I got this. Thank goodness. I was scared that the businessman was about to play
And then I looked at his wallet and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what what is that wallet?
It was this it was the coolest wallet I've ever seen. He had a cool wallet. Yeah, and then yeah, and he said it's uh,
it's a osking and I was like
The the king of Australia gave you that wallet
And yeah, the osking he said no
Australia doesn't have a king you idiot. Oh, it's the name of the company. It's osking. Wait the prince of Australia
No, yeah, no, they don't even have a prince. I guess
All right, I'm confused. So the company's the company's called osking and the mcwallow's I guess
Okay, so I was like where they base. He said here in Hong Kong. What? Yeah
I was like the king of Australia lives in Hong Kong
No, the uh, yeah, yeah
So I met with the king of Australia
in Hong Kong. All right
Obviously because that's the CEO of osking, you know, I think I'm just gonna have to keep listening to the nnc if I could make sense of this later
Maybe if I hear the whole thing I'll be able to backtrack some of the details
I demanded a meeting with the CEO of osking and um, and
They I was like, what is this amazing product that I saw and he was like, oh, that's our uh, that's our cool wallet
They call it the cool wallet. That's what I call it. Oh, okay, but um, he gave me a free one
He slid he slid one across the table. He's what the hell this guy just had spare wallets on
Super luxury wall. He slid one across the table and said you can have it. I said this must cost a billion dollars
Yeah, I was thinking I was like, thank you so much
Wow to thank them. I just kind of want to show off their showcase their product. Nice, dude
And also show this off. You know what he actually slid two across the table. Why did you get why did you?
Was it what the hell is this? Yep
So you got two wallets two wallets this one for you too
Yeah, yeah, so this this is mine and this one's yours. Also. Well, he's he slid two for me because you know, so he knows
He doesn't want when I have yeah, and you know, I need like two wallets. Yes, but
I went for the plug in for the hose. Yeah, I want to give one to you for me as a gift. Yeah
So this one's for me. So yeah, you get on box it while I kind of explain how cool this wallet is
So folks if you this wallet right here, well, this really is all written in Chinese
Yeah, yeah, so
this is a company based in hong kong and
So you might think so is team and their products are crap. It's my first wallet. I've ever had a user manual
You might think that uh, Hong Kong or team who's in Hong Kong and their products are crap
Well, guess what I've tested this. I shot it with a gun my gun
I've done
I've uh
Through it. I waterboarded it. I did all the tests you can you waterboarded the wallet. Yeah, it it
That's good. So I won't have to do it to mine. Yeah, yeah trust your results and I shot it and it works will approve
Don't try that at home folks. Um, but
Check this out. So it's got a wallet tracker built into it
So you can that connects directly to the find my iphone app on your phone. It's approved by apple and the chinese government, right? Yes
No, Hong Kong, uh, it is a special province. So no, okay. Um, actually I think China owns it now. Fuck
Okay, we'll cut that part out
But no, it's legit listen to this ad because this is a very cool wallet. It's a very good ad
So this is what it looks like from the outside. So it's it's basically
it's halfway between a
Complete complete minimalist minimalist wallet and a regular wallet. So you have all the functionality
Maximize it too. Yeah. So okay. So it's got a tracker
And on this side you keep your cash in this little clip and then there's you can put another card right there
I put my fire firearm owners id card right there on the outside
So people know that to be scared of me
And then you open it up
Check this you can be like hey FBI. Oh shit, and then and then but I actually have I I have a naval base pass
You mean female body?
I have a naval base pass that's expired
But this is perfect so that it covers up the expiration date on it. So I say it says department of defense on here
So I say department of defense
Don't don't mess with me. Do not put up any defense while I take off your bra
I say I say department of defense. I'm here to
Just don't don't hurt me
Let me into area 51 one of the coolest one of the coolest parts of it is it's like mac
Where are all the cards where where all your cards? Yeah, where are they?
I want to see the credit card number on youtube you like switch plays right? I love switch plays
I got one right here. Look look at this. It's got a little switch play type of deal. You you pull it down
Oh sweet pull it up a little higher so everyone can see the number
I just got you can fit five cards in the switchblade thing. Um, are those real credit cards? Let's see the number
I just keep my my my
my
city private client debit card and a credit card and a business card in here
But you can fit two more in and then I keep my driver's license in here because I got to have my department of defense one in here
um, and
It's got it's got basically
The most things the most good. What's it? What's it adjective for?
Of uh
It's got the most cut this out
Well, you've got the most capabilities. I'm trying to think of like yeah, like good things about it
Specs specifications it's got the most the best
Uh qualities it's got the most this wallet has the most benefits that you can have for a wallet
Um for this small of a size. Yeah, I used to have a ridge wallet. Where is that piece? Correct? You have a ridge wallet?
Yeah, well that's what I had before this thing sucks. Okay. These are 75 dollars
This is two pieces of metal zoom in on the idea. We can get his address
This is this is two pieces of metal connected with this
What is that glue? No, it's just oh
Stupid stretchy thing. Yeah, and it's like this is 75 bucks because it's like titanium. Why do you need a titanium wallet?
That's crap
Like I understand how to be honest. I just keep all my stuff in a plastic bag
My my dad actually and you know what this is gonna be great because I'm gonna put it in the plastic bag with all my other stuff
My dad you my dad only uses a rubber band as a wallet and he
Would you consider your dad a rubber band man?
Yeah, he has no idea that that's like a super hood thing but
But um, you know his joke like I got a new wallet to be a new rubber band
But um, your dad is as wild as a Taliban. I don't want to go to war against ridge, but
This is you can wear your wallet like this this
That's sick. That's awesome
Um
No, but I want I'm going I'm going to war with ridge wallet. This is too minimalist. What this is stupid
This is 75 dollars. Yeah, this is without any discounts. It's only 60 bucks and it has all that stuff in there that we just talked about
Um, and it's super durable lasts a long time
This what is this it's a piece of junk. This is a piece of crap and I want to get rid of it right after this podcast
No, I'm gonna get rid of that too. I'm gonna get rid of it. Yeah, so it's this is dumb
This one is only a tiny bit bigger if you like the front pocket you can put it front pocket back pocket
You can put it like that like Jason's right now
um, it's got it's got a man I keep my wallet in my front pocket because uh
Uh, I sit so much it gets me back pain
Um, that's actually I started working at a call center. Yeah, and he would sit for so long
That's one of the purposes of a front wallet is it's so nice of you back. Yeah
Yeah, well, I got back pain when I worked in a call center
Yeah, and I remember when they were training us they're like you'll start putting your wallet in your front pocket
They said that the training. Yeah. Well, this works perfect. It's like they know how bad the job is for your back
They're already warning you
But this does work perfect does a front pocket wallet, but you can also use it as a back pocket wallet if you want
It's not it's not uncomfortable. I tested it out. Can you get a chain? Does the chain attest you?
Um, probably a chain wallet. Yeah, if I'm gonna get a cool biker
Yeah, you want to live in like the 90s and my brother Eric still rocks a chain wallet. I'll be honest sounds pretty cool. Yeah
And he likes plaid shorts
Jesus Christ and uh air airwalk shoes
Okay, uh before you start fast-forwarding
Um
The CEO way too late for that the CEO of oscang who I believe is the king of Australia has given us
A promo code for half off on amazon folks half off right? It's only 60 dollars
Is 30 dollars if you use promo code
T as in tango p as in peter ours and roger f as in frank b as in boy two
What the hell is this? T as in tom. Can you put that up on the screen? Hold on? I will that's tprf
B2 for t
What the hell do they not want us to get anyone to use their discount?
Yeah, they're gonna change the bad comedy but for now
I legitimately
The reason we don't have them any sponsors is because I only want to use ones that I
That I like that I want to use, you know, we have a lot of people ask the sponsors to have fun
What we actually do? I'm actually not lying. I should get a TPR fb
2 for t yep type that
Type that in what the hell dude type that is the worst promo code I've ever seen shut up
I'm sorry that sucks. I told them they're gonna change it. Yeah, fuck them. Well, they're cool
They're cool. They're cool. I'm gonna have to edit the promo code thing. Okay
The promo code thing is they give us free wallets if we get commissioned on sales. Yeah, I know
But it's like they don't want us to do it
You can give us the most complicated promo code ever you get half off of this wallet
Which I would legitimately buy for 60 dollars if I knew about this prior to this
And yeah, I mean
Um, I'm only gonna tell you guys to get things that you should get like this and our other sponsor
We'll talk about later, but go to amazon type in that promo code that's on the screen and grab your
Minimalist it's not minimal. It's it's in the middle a minimalist. Yeah middle because it's not a maximalist wallet
It's a minimalist wallet minimalist. That's something minimalist of the stuff. He knows
Um, but it's halfway between a minimalist and has a functionality of a maximalist. So okay, I got
This is what I'll say
We want money. So buy a wallet. We'll get
Tp, but don't buy it without our promo code. Yeah, please if you're gonna buy it use the promo code tprf
b2
For t and you like that promo code, right? I like it too
um
No, but um, also
Sorry in addition to the five cards you can fit in there you can fit one card in here
One card in here and then I want a card on the outside. So that's like I can't add that up
How many cards do you need in your wallet?
Um, what is it?
Sometimes you want to sometimes you want to give cards in there, you know, sometimes uh,
Remember when people had money clips?
Well, sometimes you we got a got a credit card for airline airline points. You got a credit card
That's better for cash back on dining food and dining stuff like that when I was doing drugs
I would always use like a hair tie because I just wrapped that around a big
Wad of cash. Yeah, so don't be a rubber band man like my dad and don't be a hair tie man
And don't be some my former drug deal himself and don't be some boomer with a big ass dumb wallet that everyone makes fun of
You know, it sucks about being a drug dealer is having all that cash. It's like, what do you do with it?
Take it to the bank. Yeah, I know it's pay for everything cash. You get a bunch of coins
Yeah, they change they just excel me so the cops catch me. Yeah
Do not just call it cds. Yeah, you're buying cds for me
Just say you're buying uh, you need to pick up a bunch of uh, I don't know some word. Yeah
No, but one thing on here, uh, the
The magnet I tested the magnet on my laptop. I put the magnet on the bottom laptop broke my laptop
Oh, nice. So it's a good. It's good magnet. Destroy the battery pretty much. Yeah
So it's a great magnet
But again, I mean I was talking about like doing this to say in here in the FBI or stealing valor or something
Um, that's just something I do and I don't think the company supports that but it's it's kind of fun
But they're pussies in that way. No, they're not
I only want cool sponsors who support us doing crimes
Well, who knows?
impersonating officers they might I've I've been talking for too long. Maybe they like that
Here's one thing about the ridge wallet. They want you to impersonate the cops this room
But that's the ridge wallet. This is the uh, what kind of wallet is this the osking?
What's what's the what they call it?
The is is it uh, just a findable wallet find wallet plus find wallet plus folks
So, uh, hey ridge. Well, you could find your wallet plus more. Hey ridge wallet. I'm getting rid of this
This is a security guard for your wallet. Oh, dude. I was doing something cool for that. I was gonna use it. Oh, I'm sorry
Um
So, hey, um
Hey ridge wallet. I'm getting rid of my ridge wallet and I only get my wallets from osking
Because they are some real ass people
And they're what their products are that ridge off the bridge so that ridge off the bridge
I'm I'm I'm with the king of australia. I got osking, baby
Yeah, and if you want to join the osking gang type in the promo code we said in amazon
What was that promo code?
Yeah, what do you let him know again?
tprf
b2
For t
Yeah, if you want to remember it, it's like to berf something like that to berf for for to berf 24 r2d 2
Yeah, berf for fork. So use that to remember it
Sounds like the dutch language, but to berf afford it's got you can pretend you're a cop. It's got a switch blade
That shoots your cards up
It's sick
I mean with the with the with the ridge wallet
I honestly hate it because every time you like want to pull one card out you really have to push them all out and like take them all out and then
It's it's and everybody lying in the liquor stores mad at you because they're all yeah, and their hands are shaking
Your hands are shaking and that's why you're having trouble getting the card
But I I'm legitimately upset at myself for having used one of those for so long
like
Yeah, it's
I just to get my idea to give to someone at a bar
I would have to take all my cards out and then I drop them all every time because your hands are shaking
And then I would drop them all and then I would probably forget one and also
You are a guy who leaves shit everywhere. Well, this is why this is so important for me because it has a find my thing built in
I have I have early onset dementia that's caused by heavy ADHD and alcohol abuse
You've been abusing your ADHD. Oh alcohol
As you said ADHD and alcohol I said I have heavy ADHD
and alcohol comma and alcohol. Yeah, heavy alcohol abuse and heavy ADHD. I abuse my ADHD
I lose I spend half my life looking for things guys. I lose things so often. Yeah, but I'll never lose this because it has
Find my wallet built in you know Donnie's like that too. Donnie's crashed over at my place and he left a bunch of shit
Yeah, and he always leaves shit in my car when we go on the road. Oh, you and Donnie both have that thing where it's like
Wherever you go, you spread out for some reason you put all your stuff out
And then you get up and leave
And your stuff is gone. I know and it's like it's like something that I've always trying to get better at but yeah
I can't not yes, I just have like a certain amount of stuff I keep on me at all times
So I feel weird without it. So I've never lost my wallet because I'm always like where's my wallet?
Yeah, well, that's also the issue with that. It's too small
So it's like the same size as like my vape. So like I could oh, you know what I did
I think I think I have that on me, but it's just my vape. I have on me
I bought a cool glass ashtray and I put my wallet and stuff in it when I come home my wallet and keys
So it's always in the same spot in my house. How about this? I'll try that. I'll start wearing
I should get a cool. I'll start wearing more pocket shirts
Pocket shirts rock dude, and then you put this in the pocket shirt
You don't even need a pocket shirt because you could rock it right up on top like I'm doing right now
That's kind of cool. Actually. We got to do it with with the benjamin is hanging out
Okay, these are these are actually real hundreds. No way. Yeah, holy shit. I've never seen a real hundred
Yeah, mm-hmm, and if you look at the table here, you got a shit. Yeah, like adam gilbert would see this this
Yeah, this is the way adam gilbert sees all money. But um, yeah, uh, it's funny adam knew all those jokes
We must make those for all the time. Yeah, but uh, thank you for the wallets oscang
And everyone join the oscang thank you oscang join the oscang gang folks
um
If you show if you show up and see me and you're like I got my oscang wallet from you
I'll give you a straight up handshake and I will I'll give you chicago handshake
I'll do a prayer that will bring you good luck for the next 10 years if you join the oscang gang
I'll give you a chicago handshake and not a not a shot and a beer
I'm talking about the original chicago handshake where you're in the mob and you shake someone's hand and lean in and shoot them
Maybe you know, I have are we doing the commercial? Yeah. Yeah, but I have this sort of entrepreneurial idea that I think
Maybe I could sponsor the podcast once I get this going
Okay, but I think about starting a work a workshop to teach people how to pray in a way that God will
like like more
How to like make your prayers more interesting I like that I already had a chat gbt write me some copy
to use for marketing
A real quick I need to tell I need to tell the folks that this is an ad comedy podcast the free episode
So this is where we do the ads and stuff and it's not that funny
The good stuff is on patreon.com slash bad comedy. That's where all the guest episodes are
That's where we actually have extended versions of these that are way longer
Behind the paywall
But you gotta join patreon for those and then all the guest episodes are there patreon.com slash bad comedy for that
Yep, and it's 399. How about you save 50% on the best purchase of your life a wallet and then put
399 towards that. Yeah, that way you're making
So you save you save 30 bucks. You pay four bucks. You're saving $26. Yeah, you're making $26 by
Getting a wallet. That's like five years of the podcast. Yeah, exactly
$25 that you saved on the podcast 100%
Yes, you get like eight years of podcasts exactly. So basically we're paying you to get a sick wallet and
And when you listen to podcasts, this is a fact. We've been monitoring our patrons average incomes
and
After people join their income increases by about
About 25% yeah, and we don't look at the averages. We look at each person's one. Yeah 25% ABV
Yeah, if you're
If you're a patron currently listening, we have all of your financial info and your social security numbers and your race
No, we don't have any of that. Don't be scared to join patreon. We know your and we know if you're secretly gay
We do we do we do guess we do guess your race and make pie charts to see what our demographics
We know if you're gonna come out as trans in the next 10 years. Yeah, we also know that
Well, I'm happy that mark allen made our black percentage much higher shout out to mark allen
He was because it was just mr. Eddie before
Yeah, he's mixed
Yeah, mark allen that's that his name is kind of one vote for black and one vote for white with mr. Eddie
So that breaks even yeah
Mark allen his name is my name too. Yeah, you're mark allen whenever I go
Whenever we go out
We always shout we're we're both mark allen
And I'm glad my last name's never his last name something else
Well, I don't know his last day if he goes by mark allen though. Yeah, his middle name's allen
Just like mine
My real name is mark folks
And max is not my comedy name. I've been called mac my whole life
Um, I also gave a speech at the wedding and uh, didn't know I had to give everyone wrote these speeches that
I didn't my brother sam who sucks. He went before me and made some really cringy jokes
Um, like the hackest jokes you can make and then did you do a joke about being pansexual?
No, I did I I opened with that and it crushed. I thought he said he did the hack jokes
What was that nothing
I've heard just about enough out of you
I absolutely I absolutely I absolutely
Just about enough out of you is like a joke your uncle would make or something like your hands
Okay, mr
But I absolutely buried my brother and he was I've said about the rest of the weekend that rolls
It's mindful towards me. I hope he had a horrible weekend. Oh, then I kept making fun about a baddest speech
Dude, there's nothing better than an absolutely destroying somebody in a wedding speech. That's better than any comedy situation
Yeah, like in a very personal way like that's like a once in a lifetime thing. Yeah, and then at the next night
So some people did speeches that just did anything on the first night the next night was a reception
They got a microphone on the second night, which is bullshit. We didn't go on the first night. So I held up a spoon
But uh, my brother charlie gave a great speech. Um, but I ghost wrote most of it
All the funny stuff in there that crushed was all me
Yeah, so I'm tag Nataro
Um, nice job. Yeah
Mike my cropped and told me if he ever makes it and stand up. He's gonna
Take me on the road with him to uh be his agent and uh to
Be his agent and for tags
I don't know this is gonna be like you're gonna get to do comedy
Uh, no, I would do comedy too
Uh, I remember there was this guy joe mcman who's like everyone thought it was gonna be the man, but then he just got married
He's gonna be a mcman. Yeah, everyone thought he was gonna be the famous guy because he was like the funniest guy in Chicago
And I remember when we were new he was like, hey, if you ever get famous take me on the road
And if I ever get famous I'll take you on the road. I was like deal man
And I love joe so I was like down. Yeah, but then I found out joe had made that deal with like 20 people
Which is hilarious
But there was like 20 other people who are like, yeah, joe said if I ever make it I'd take him on the road. Yeah
I think it's I think it's
Okay, I think it's maybe five with michael ropens. I should maybe do like a class actually lawsuit against joe
All the comedians I'll put all instagram ad
Did joe mcman ever promise to take you on the road?
Everyone comes forward
That's so funny
No, I think I might I might be the only one that uh mike has said that to
That's pretty good more recently at least post drunk mike
Yeah, that that's the real mike. Yeah
the real
Back then
Ho didn't mow me
Now you're how the whole oh, oh, oh this I have to clip this in this is also rfid blocking folks this wallet
Remember this is an ad comedy podcast run patreon. You idiots. Um
Uh, this is rfid blocking. I don't know what that stands for but what I know is that
People can use these little devices and if you get close to you
They can steal all of your information your cards information your idea all that stuff
Just by rubbing it against your wallet and
I've been going to the club a lot recently and
These hot women have been grinding on me and then every time I in the morning. I look at my bank account
And it's empty and I'm like what the heck
Um, that I found out just just not spending it all on no no alcohol and no it is all like with no
It was all withdrawn from uh withdrawal from uh cocaine. No, it was like
No, it was all spent it was all spent at like uh
Like victoria secret and stuff like that and I didn't go there you rarely spend money there
Yeah, I I almost never spend money there. I spend like only just your mom's birthday
Um
Sister sister's birthday for sister's wedding present
I want you guys to have a good honeymoon
No, but I was the only charters from victoria secret and all these makeup places and I'm like I don't go to these places
This is fraud. I already have enough blackface makeup
I'm doing something to cut out. Oh, I forgot this is a commercial
I forgot we were still doing a commercial so every time I would go to the club these hot women would be grinding on me
um, and
I'd wake up in the morning and all my money would be stolen from me and I guess they were using these devices
Uh that you can steal all your information. What the heck? Yeah, just by being near you
So they'd be grinding on me. Are you talking about tic-tac? No
I know
So they'd be grinding on me not because I'm a good looking dude
Um, or like cool, uh, it's because they were stealing my money rich
Yeah, they're stealing and they were stealing my money. Fuck and now they can't because I have this
Nice, so now they're gonna grind on me realize that they didn't get any info from the the thing and then
jokes on them no more no more victoria secret ladies. So
Um, I pictured the RFID things scanner in that thing. Yeah, and then they get the Jurassic Park
Newman face going
You didn't say the magic word. Yeah, this this RFID. I bet it's so powerful that it destroys those devices
It goes on the offense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it puts a computer bug. I don't know this for sure, but it
I think this RFID blocker is it's also a RFID scanner breaker. It breaks there
So then you steal their money or maybe you steal all the money they stole. Yeah. Yeah back to the poor
Yeah, it's like a robin hood type of thing. Yeah. Yeah. So I invested small stocks like robin hood. Yeah
You could day trade it for that. Yeah
Is that still around robin hood? Yeah, I thought they got in trouble or something
They they did when there was a during the game stop thing they halted trading
Yeah, that was bullshit
Um, wow, that just shows how much of a con
Stock market is for rich people. Yeah. Yeah, that's so poor. I mean the the market itself isn't but yeah, I mean like the
For the things that lead towards like the yeah, the
Rich people in the large companies these people were trying to short game stop
Stock and then the app tried to help them short games
So probably because the investors and robin hood had we're trying to do that. Yeah, but I think the defense was that it was
Market manipulation, which it kind of was
um, I think that
What it's all market manipulation. What's not market manipulation? No, I'm saying they're
Uh, they they had a guy who was telling everyone to purposefully pump up this this stock that is not gonna
That game stop is not gonna be a good company in the future
So that's so it's not manipulation all the guys who are trying to short it artificial
You know buying it so that they could
Get rid of it at the perfect time or whatever. Well shorting it is just a bet that the thing
It's gonna go down
But yes, this was screw over the people that are shorted up when I'm saying the manipulation, but isn't that manipulation?
No, it's it's a short. Yeah. No, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's bet you make against another
Uh like person or another bank. Yeah
Um, but it is a pump
And it don't it don't know being that guy the main guy who's doing it. Yeah, he
Did most he did a bunch of the selling
Like when it got high. Oh, yeah, so he he got in trouble. He got like, uh
Because for pump and dump you can't do that pump and dump. Yeah, so that's like what's my favorite
Porn term. I think I think Elon's got in trouble for doing that like he'll like say something
Oh, yeah, he'll tweet stuff and then uh, remember when he crashed dog coin by going on SNL
And everyone's like this guy's too weird. I'm out
I just bought more because I was like, oh, he's like, you came out as autistic. He must be good
He definitely knows the numbers. Yeah
Yeah, he did try and do that like I'm the first ass burgers guy on the show. Yeah, everyone's like who cares
Everyone has autism these days
They literally had a fucking tons of people with ass burgers on the show. They just didn't say it. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of people
Sure, all the absurd. Are you ever seen
John blue. She's weird shaped head
Um, what's what's his name? Um, uh
Kyle booty the other blues brother
Uh, dad, acroyd. Oh, yeah, he's autistic dad acroyd's whole thing is autism
He's like especially he always plays a scientist in every movie or a cone head ghost busters. Yeah cone heads
Yeah, an alien or a scientist. Yeah
Sometimes he's like a businessman only a tommy boy. I think
Oh, yeah, yeah, he's legit into like conspiracy theory stuff. That's like what he does now
He does like podcasts about ghosts and and aliens. You should do a podcast with trevor from Pittsburgh
The the guys the guys at the world record for when to rehab the most times. Yeah, that would be great. I'm sure
He has she has the world to remind him of his old friend. John belushi
Trevor should be the new John belushi with Dan acroyd. He has two world records. Uh, trevor austin
His name is trevor austin from pittsburgh
Um, the most relapses and the most halfway houses. He's been to yeah. Yeah
He's been somebody halfway houses is combined. It's it's a community. It's like 20 halfway houses 10 full houses
Yeah, it's essentially like a
Neighborhood of houses. Yeah
And then you gotta think that's a lot because each one is only half a house. Yeah
You gotta do two houses for every house. He is it's pretty much as many houses as hot dogs at chris grub is even in the last
Week in the last week. So that's that's at least at least 42 hot dogs
If you had for breakfast every morning. God damn
Yeah
What if what if chris griever eating those six loaded hot dogs and
The loaded fries
What if that was what if that was him being like
Shamefully eating a smaller amount. What if you normally would get like 15? How about this song?
Then I saw a hot dog
Now i'm a chris griever
I got I got a plate
Yeah, I've loaded fries
I love hot dogs
Dogs i'm chris griever. I'm gonna eat them if I can i'm gonna eat them
More than five
Perfect that's so good chris griever
i'm a chris griever make sure to listen to uh, uh, it's a timestamp 40
454
Uh, I'll I'll take some to listen to that part of you listen the full episode
Maybe if we do another well, so we ever do another live show in
Pittsburgh, maybe we could do that the way we did the uh, kelly robinson song. Yeah. Yeah
I can edit chris griever's face into the music video. Yeah, it's a bunch of hot dogs. Yeah, and us. Yeah
Shout out to that video i'm proud of it
And the mrs. Robinson kelly robinson's song for michael robinson's dad
That I really didn't think was gonna work because everyone in the crowd
Probably doesn't know michael robinson's dad
But it actually worked pretty well. I remember people were laughing people were laughing. Yeah. Yeah, they have a good sound guy there
How does it go again? Here's to you kelly robinson
Um, we all know your son. We think you're cool or something like that
The best is
We really want to be bd or a k-fan happy because we're white. Yeah. Yeah
Why why can't why can't we join the bd is it because we're white?
Is it because we're white? Yeah
Good times guys, we're gonna have another live show at some point when uh, if you're listening so hard, uh
Give me the date
Yes, we'll do a mat. We would love to do met and they I'll sell it out. Okay
Another good 60s movie song was that midnight cowboy song. I was listening to that last night. Oh, yeah, you know, uh
Everybody's talking about me
I don't hear a word to say and we should have a parody for this. I don't know what it'll be
How about this only the echoes at dustin hoffman movies? That's what i'm doing. Do you think we should do a parody of that?
I think we should get a parrot
for the podcast
So guys if if you like coco beware well guys if you want a parrot on the podcast you can uh get cool steeper club
tea
You know that is what is that? It's uh, so it's ship
It's subscription cold tea that's shipped to you cold roots and it's not shipped to you as
It'll spoil if they shipped you as the tea
No, they give you the the dry tea. Wait, how do you know that because i'm a subscriber. Oh, what then I saw your face
You actually get it. I want to subscribe. You actually didn't even know about it. Well, uh, you tricked me. I
Was I was tricking you what the heck?
Yeah, they they send you a picture they send you a filter thing and
You you put it in there you put the tea in there
And it steeps overnight and then in the morning you have some really good really good tea
Yeah, and each picture is probably 50 gallons of
It looks like a regular sized picture, but it's probably 50 gallons of tea
I'd imagine 50 easily. Yeah, and um, you put the water in you put the tea in you wait eight hours or overnight
The next day you got a full pitcher of tea. I just drink that show all my work
Yeah, then I come home rinse it out reload the tea for the next day. Bitch. It's so good
Yeah, and then I I drink it you you made it a sweet tea on juneteenth. I did you had some yeah
Yep, because I just added a cup of sugar to the picture. Yeah, that's what that's what I drink
Kool-aid style when I'm sitting in my rocket and shay on the plantation as you all know make some more of that
That was really good. Yeah, nora even liked it and she don't like nothing. Yeah, um
I you're Mikey likes it. She's like that nora likes it
I didn't I've only planned on having like one drink, but everyone just wanted to drink a bunch. I was like damn it
Dude, it's the freedom of slaves. Yeah, but it's a good time. Yeah, I work
So I wore a black t-shirt, you know to honor black people and then I wore an africa chain
I wore my bet on cut shirt
I remember you were like, uh, hey man, remember when we used to have a lot more days off before juneteenth?
Now we just have one day off juneteenth. Remember that? You're like, we never had to work before juneteenth
I said that yeah
You're like, I kind of miss before juneteenth when we never had to work
But now we just get one day off. That's a good joke. You didn't say that
That's a great joke. I was trying to make you sound like a racist, but you're just like liking the joke
I made that up. Well, it's my one credit. Well, you told me I said it. So you weren't saying it like a joke
You're saying it like I miss slavery. I said it and I was blacked out and it was my joke and I'm gonna use it on stage
Okay, go ahead and tell everyone you like slavery on stage
No, I'm gonna turn it into a woke thing. Okay. How does that go? It's gonna say
And they they with their work they built this country
Uh-huh
Hey, you know, I'm just saying it was kind of our idea. That's all I'm adding to that
It was kind of our idea. You built it. Yes. You did all the work
Uh-huh, but we are the idea guys
The u.s. Is kind of like the fetal dreams if you build it, uh, they will come black people are like steve wasniac and we're
and white people are like
Steve jobs
Yeah, Steve jobs is the idea man. Steve wasniac did all the behind the scenes and apple
Yeah, well, we're like no, we're like charles babbage
Yeah, yeah, we're like charles babbage our hero the inventor of the computer
He's probably the coolest guy in the world charles babbage. Uh, yeah, I think so
Who do you think's cooler like mr. T or charles babbage? Oh god
Charles babbage by a mile by a mile who's like the coolest guy probably aside from charles babbage
Aside from charles babbage like someone who like everyone thinks is really cool because not not everyone always agrees with us
No
He invented dynamite alan turing alan turing. He's cool
Who's someone that like everyone actually thinks is really cool. So what okay stone cold steve austin?
Yeah, stone cold steve austin or charles babbage shan michaels or charles babbage
Stone cold charles babbage charles babbage for me. Yeah me too
I do like stone cold. What about the rock the rock or charles babbage?
Charles babbage. Okay. Yeah, I agree for me
Yeah, I think I really think that the rock and stone cold should both run for president against each other
Uh, I mean, yeah, the rock just wants to get squashed
Yeah, I know just don't call it. I don't call it with my mile
If I was a wrestler against the rock I go
This Saturday, I'm gonna get blood for most stone. Yeah, the rock
And then I'd beat up the rock if they did
We if they did a debate with some like wwe in it, you know, uh, it's like whoever
How this so they do the debate whoever wins the debate at the next debate at the beginning they have to
Uh, based on like whoever whatever people think who won that
They have to because you know how it's by pin fuller submission. You know how it's kind of like choreographed a little bit
Uh-huh. So at the beginning of the next debate before the debate the the winner of the last debate gets to win their match
They do a match before the the next debate
Uh, so there's the debate the loser of that debate has to lose the wrestling match. That's choreographed in between the two debates
Yeah
In shame they have to get pinned. Well, that would ruin the sort of fun of it if they if we knew who's gonna lose
Yeah, I know but we can't but but then
The debate would have to be choreographed if we did the other way around
I mean, aren't they all already?
You know, I'm saying folks politics are fake
Except for Donald trump, he's just says a lot of he's draining the swamp. I'm just saying
I'm just saying just the the the fake part. He he sees
He says a lot. I mean he says like like things that aren't true, but he uh,
He says things that he perceives to be real
I think instead of draining the swamp. We should drown the politicians
Why why do they want to drain the swamp? But they want to get rid of like Louisiana and like uh,
Yeah, we want to turn into fertile they're trying to get rid of the prairie and land trying to get rid of the bayou. Yeah, what the heck?
Yeah, what the heck? Yeah, what about uh, where are we gonna get up? Where are we gonna get good news music?
We're gonna get the people that talk like
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. I'm gonna do but do but uh, we're gonna get that creole. Yeah
What if what I wish dale had uh,
A creole accent that would be funny
Oh, you know who has a creole accent
Bad bad kaufman's uh
Oh my god
And you know, it's crazy guys if you want to see a really funny thing go to uh, uh,
Uh, uh, brad brad sneeze man brad kaufman's instagram and watch uh his character where he does
Bayou accent. Yeah
I saw somebody else doing that accent in like a movie or something recently and I was like did he just take it from this?
I forgot what I was watching. I was like, oh, it's like a
It was like a bill Murray kind of movie or something and there was a guy doing that creole accent
And I was like, I think this is just what he just stole this from another movie. Yeah, and it's like kind of easy to do
I saw a Peyton Ruddy sketch with some other people in it
And it was pretty funny, but then they dragged it out way too long. Oh, yeah, that's that could always happen
Yeah, they steven hostage
I'm working out a video
Where's our fucking guest at? What's that?
Let's let's end this one. I give you plugs this comes out today
Oh, I think I'm opening for samtell in a humble jungle. I think it might be sold out
Well shows are sold out. I checked. Yeah, I invited this hot girl to go. Hell, yeah, dude. I need to start going to like regular
normal bars
Uh-huh
Where there's like I need to start spitting bars. I'm good. I'm good at talking to women at regular bar. Well, okay
Yeah, but I just hang out at fucking
That's why I don't get that was pussy because I hang out at comedy places
I think it's because you're scared of women. I'm not it's something that happened to you when you're a little
I was fantastic at talking to uh women at the bar my juneteenth party
A girl started talking to you. She was being so weird. You immediately left the party
I was like mech is scared of that girl. Oh, I legitimately had a meetup with
I was I was what about that girl used to go to all your shows. I was I was I was scared of the girl at your party
Yes, she was very scary. Yeah
Also after you left she was like everyone here thinks that mac is the most important person and everyone was like nope
She said like she's like everyone was obsessed with mac and everyone was like what?
Nero's like I don't even think I talked to me
She's just you were like you were projecting like she was into you. She was just like staring me like
Yeah, then she hit on Courtney
Courtney came by later corny albers. Oh
Courtney's like I married
She didn't have nice boobs though. Yeah, she had her boobs all
out, but maybe she had them all maybe they're not that good. She she called me and matt ugly at one point. I think
She she were like whatever you think mac is attractive. I don't trust your judgment
I lost weight and I'm getting hotter and I'm gonna get I'm gonna get I'm gonna get super fit and I'm gonna be
I'm gonna become male model
Not gay and moved to new york and I'm gonna be the me and charlie. You're gonna have a face off
You who's charlie your brother? I gave my gay brother. Yeah, I'm gonna be I'm gonna represent the straight models
nice, dude
Just you it'll be just you. I'm either bad. I'm the bad boy of modeling
I'll be like you're gonna be the first straight male model. I'm gonna be the first male model
The first straight male model. Yeah
Yeah
Well, no, there was a ben stiller and oh, yeah, he played
He was doing gay face though. I think if he was being a male, that's true. Yeah
Yeah, so humble jungle wednesday
Uh, actually don't go to that if you're if you're comic listening. I'm worried too many people are going to be in the back green room
But I know I know they'll let me in
because I'm
Because i'm gonna kill ham and i'm friends with jason and and I also know that hope i'm friends with the house owner
So if I don't get in i'm gonna
Have to kill the house owner
Probably yeah, it's Nathan. Why oh shout out to Nathan shout out to Nathan. Well good good good guy
folks follow me at bad boy comedy
um on everything um spider cancel jason on twit
and um
I'll have some shows coming up. I'm getting back into stand-up
Um, I won best set of the night two weeks ago. There's no big deal
at all
That I face planted on a dillens hood
Uh, 30 minutes later, but
get fired. Catch me all around the city. You know, I'm on the beast
I'm on most of the clubs
I could probably get on xanes, but I don't want to email them
Um, that's all you gotta do really to get on zanes, so you just have to email them and they'll put you on a February
That'll give you the six to six what they can put you on the six at six the six is six
Yeah, the six at six
who's six comics at six o'clock
The six at six. I want to open a club. Sex in the 60. I'll be the headline of every show.
We'll close in a week. Yeah. I like that. Week where it's just worth it. I like that.
Wait, doesn't Scott wasn't Scott Darling go open your comedy club? Whatever happened to that guy?
I don't. Does he do comedy? I hope he broke through the ice of a pond. Hey, let me know if you want to do any investments.
Whatever happened to Scott Darling? Is he alive? I remember we went ice skating on this pond that had very thin ice and then I was packing up my stuff.
I didn't see him. I thought he left ahead of me. His truck was still in the parking lot. I actually hit him up to check in and then he heard just say what's up and then he responded and then I hit the left front red.
This was like a month ago and then I said what's up. He responded like to where I should probably respond. And then he said what's up.
And I left my red by accident. And then you responded. And now it's too late to apologize. Yeah. It's too late.
How about Scott? Scott Duckling. Yeah. The ugly Scott Duckling. That's not nice. He's a patron. Yeah, right. He is.
Scott Darling, you better not listen to this free episode. Scott. Yeah, you better only listen to the guest episode.
We got to hear what I got to say. We got a good one coming up Wednesday. I'm not going to say who it is, but it's going to be good.
So join patreon.com now. Get cool steeper club. Actually, we're talking about the savings from the wallet. We have our second Indian guest.
Yeah, second Indian guest. His name might be Russell Peters.
So I just want to say one last thing. Again, use that promo code we gave you all up on the screen. Use the promo code we gave you for that wallet.
It's normally 60 bucks. You get it for 30 bucks. You spent you use that you were giving you 30 bucks there.
You put four of that towards patreon. And then how much is then then you go to cool steeper club and then you doing that.
And then basically you get all this free shit. The steeper club is promo code bad comedy. I don't know. Promo code bad promo code bad comedy.
I don't always said that promo code bad comedy. It's an easier promo code than the other one. It's just the name of our podcast. No exclamation point.
Look out for my new business. I'm starting where it's classes on how to pray better. Yeah. Oh, and I mean, I guess you're putting God to sleep with your prayers.
Okay. Yeah. And I got to learn how to pray in a very you got to it's like a sales pitch, you know. And I guess if you want to get into investment, if you need to get into the market, I'm a stock broker and I can help you.
But most of our listeners are pretty broke. So I if you if you Belgian listeners from Brussels are like really rich, then I'll fly out there all dinner with you.
I'll give you a free wallet. But you need to be I only fly out internationally if it's 100 million or more. So just DM me. And we'll talk.
I'm going to go on Jason.
I think I'm going to call my business better prayers. Oh, we should like better help but better prayers. We should plug Nathan London.
These Nathan, Nathan, one comedy, follow Nathan one comedy. Our favorite comedian.
He should have a special soup soup soup soup soup. Yeah, soups nuts soups on soups on soups on. Yep. Check it out.
Follow him on Instagram, of course. On follow Sam Talant.
Don't do that. I like Sam Talant. No, you shouldn't follow him.
Just unfollow him and then follow Nathan London. That way it's the same amount of people you follow your ratio stays the same. However, with you ratio freaks, narcissists. And do we have other we don't have any Nathan lunches coming up?
No, check them out as website. Yeah, just on dot com. Yeah, check out Nathan Lund's days.
I'm probably fine. My Instagram or phased website to get a discount on show you can get a soup on. Yeah, Google and probably Nathan Lund stand up comedian and then see if you can find something.
But that's that's probably the most important thing.
And folks, that's it for today.
I'm a really good episode. We'll see you Wednesday. And we love you and all new patrons that join today. I'll ask your sd.
Whoa. Yeah. I know. I really hope not.
Shit.
Bye.