1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,760 Hey everybody, welcome to the Bad Comedy Podcast. My name is Adam Quaslow. 2 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:10,760 I'm Morpius. 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,760 Morpius. 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:12,760 I said Morpied, please. 5 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:13,760 I was like Morpheus? 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,760 Morpied, please. 7 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:15,760 There was like a... 8 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:16,760 Yeah, Morpheus, Morpied, please. 9 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:17,760 Wasn't... 10 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:18,760 I think there was a Pope Pius. 11 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:19,760 Yeah, Pope Pius. 12 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,760 That's a guy. 13 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:21,760 I think he was an asshole though. 14 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:22,760 I think he was like a mean pope. 15 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:23,760 Let me tell you a little secret. 16 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:24,760 All the popes are assholes when you get to know them. 17 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:25,760 Yeah, you're very pious. 18 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,760 I know all the popes. 19 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:27,760 I know all the popes. 20 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,760 You look like you could be a... 21 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,760 No, you'd be like an Eastern Orthodox. 22 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:34,760 I'll be a... 23 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,760 I just picture you with like... 24 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:42,760 If I turn trans, my trans name would be Friar Tuck. 25 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,760 And I would tuck my penis in. 26 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:50,760 Eastern European, like people that are like bishops or whatever, there's fat and they have 27 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:56,100 beards and they're like, I'm gonna be a 28 00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:58,800 bishops or whatever, there's fat and they have beards and they just have a bunch of cool 29 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,800 jewelry that they wear. 30 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,800 Jewelry. 31 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,800 Yeah. 32 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:03,800 And they were like, I don't know. 33 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,480 Oh, you're talking about Greek Orthodox maybe? 34 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:06,480 Yeah, yeah. 35 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:07,480 Okay, okay. 36 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,480 Yeah. 37 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:09,480 Is that not what I said? 38 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:10,480 I was thinking of the Friar Tuck joke. 39 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,480 Yeah. 40 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,280 I was putting 100% of my energy into getting that. 41 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,240 They like Eastern Orthodox, yeah. 42 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:19,640 Like what Rasputin was kind of a part of, but the whole religion hated him. 43 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:20,640 Well, they were Russian, right? 44 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:21,640 I think the Greek Orthodox. 45 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:22,640 And then is there a Russian? 46 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:23,640 It just says Eastern Orthodox. 47 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:24,640 It's pretty much Russian. 48 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,080 I don't know about that religion. 49 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:31,720 There was some of those by me when I grew up, but I never interacted with them too much. 50 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:36,800 Yeah, I think it's just, it's another spin off of Catholicism. 51 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:37,800 Yeah. 52 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,240 But they're definitely not the same. 53 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,000 They have a ton of differences. 54 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,000 I worked with a lady and they had just like different holidays and shit. 55 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,800 Yeah, they have like Greek Easter. 56 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:47,800 They do. 57 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,800 Yeah. 58 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:49,800 What are they, gyros? 59 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,800 Yeah. 60 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,800 I think they eat a lot of lamb and olives. 61 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,800 Okay. 62 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:55,800 Okay. 63 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:56,800 Greeks are the Greeks do. 64 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,160 And then the Russians eat nothing. 65 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,160 Okay. 66 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,560 The Russians eat a potato or like rocks or something. 67 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,280 Just one potato potatoes. 68 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:10,600 I mean, potatoes are good if you make them in fries. 69 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,800 We have one potato for whole village. 70 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,240 We make fry one fry per person. 71 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:23,200 That's what they, that's what like, they still turn out jacked. 72 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,200 Like the guy from Rocky. 73 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,200 Yeah. 74 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:30,600 When I mean like during the times in Russian history, so all of Russian history when everyone's 75 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,600 been starving. 76 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:32,600 Yeah. 77 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:37,040 They have to ration the potatoes and the fries and everyone's these one or two. 78 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:41,360 You live in Asian Antarctica and they're freezing and starving. 79 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,960 There's no food up there in Asian Antarctica or whatever the fuck. 80 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:45,960 Yeah. 81 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,720 All they have the Asian North Pole. 82 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:48,720 Yeah. 83 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,800 Imagine living in Siberia up there. 84 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:51,800 Yeah. 85 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,880 Yeah, that's like the really cold part. 86 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,640 That's what that's what that's where they have like the fur hats. 87 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:58,560 They don't have dirt to eat up there. 88 00:02:58,560 --> 00:02:59,560 Yeah, I know. 89 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,880 But they have a that's why you don't fuck with the Russian winter. 90 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:03,880 Yeah. 91 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,400 Because they have those Siberians that'll come down and look up. 92 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,400 They'll get you. 93 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,400 Yeah. 94 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,840 You know, the Siberians, Siberian tigers. 95 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:10,840 Yeah. 96 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,440 Are those people Siberians? 97 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:13,440 Yeah. 98 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,160 From Siberia. 99 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:22,080 So sometimes when I have like a like a drink, like an alcoholic drink, I like to have a 100 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,280 side beer in a sidecar type of thing. 101 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,280 Side beer. 102 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,280 Side beer. 103 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,280 Side beer. 104 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,280 Oh, side beer. 105 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,280 You're a Siberian. 106 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,520 Well, I don't buy a shot. 107 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,440 I don't buy a beer with a shot on the side. 108 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,760 I buy a shot with a side beer. 109 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:37,760 Yeah. 110 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:38,760 Yeah. 111 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:39,760 So they call me a Siberian. 112 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:40,760 What do they call that? 113 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:41,760 A backer or something? 114 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,760 Yeah. 115 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,760 Pickleback. 116 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:44,760 Yeah. 117 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:45,760 No. 118 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,400 I'm just saying when you get a shot with it, it is like a backer or a... 119 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:54,760 Sometimes they give you like a fourth of a beer when you order a Bloody Mary. 120 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:55,760 Yes. 121 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,760 Yes. 122 00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,160 You get a Bloody Mary and they just give you like a little cup of beer. 123 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,160 Let us know, YouTube, what's that called? 124 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,160 Yeah. 125 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,720 It's not backer, but that's very close to what it's called. 126 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,720 A trailer. 127 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,480 A humpback of Notre Dame. 128 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,840 I know what a pickleback is. 129 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,280 That's when you take a whiskey with pickle juice. 130 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,600 That started after I quit drinking. 131 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:16,600 People swear by it. 132 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,600 Yeah. 133 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,600 You ever done it? 134 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,600 It's good. 135 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,600 Yeah. 136 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,840 And I'm non-Brightonary, so I don't even like pickles. 137 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:22,840 Yeah. 138 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:23,840 I like it though. 139 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:24,840 Yeah. 140 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:25,840 Yeah. 141 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:26,840 You're pickle Jewish. 142 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:27,840 Yeah. 143 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,880 Tommy Pickles is not non-Brightonary. 144 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:30,880 From the Rugrats. 145 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:31,880 Uh-huh. 146 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:32,880 Yeah. 147 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:33,880 That's a good show. 148 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:34,880 I still watch it. 149 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:39,160 I was making fun of someone the other day saying they looked like Tommy Pickles and I can't 150 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,160 remember who it was. 151 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,160 Was it a bald guy? 152 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,160 Maybe. 153 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,160 Bobby Buds maybe? 154 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,680 Oh no, I think it was our cat. 155 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,880 Because our cat, Cran, wears a diaper now. 156 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:51,880 Yeah. 157 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:57,000 And she's really, she's really got like bad balance. 158 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,160 She's always like falling down and shit. 159 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,840 And as she walks around like Tommy Pickles, because you know his feet were always like 160 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,200 pointed inward. 161 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,200 Yeah. 162 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,320 And then is Chuckie, Chuckie's the ginger one? 163 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,320 Yeah. 164 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,640 He looks like, like kind of like Sean White. 165 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:14,640 The snowboarder. 166 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,640 Yeah. 167 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,680 I guess Sean White kind of looks like him. 168 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:18,680 Or like Carrot Top? 169 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:19,680 How old are the Rugrats now? 170 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:23,200 Do you think Chuckie grew up to become Carrot Top? 171 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,120 Uh, he, he grew up to be Chuckie Cheese. 172 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,120 What? 173 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,120 I don't know. 174 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,120 That's kind of crazy. 175 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,120 I feel like Carrot Top existed at the same time as Chuckie. 176 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,120 That's my favorite band. 177 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,120 That's my favorite band. 178 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,560 Uh, the animatronic band, Chuckie G's. 179 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,520 I always loved the band from Celebration Station. 180 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,320 We didn't have Chuckie Cheese, we had Celebration Station. 181 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:43,320 Do you ever go there? 182 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,040 I think that sounds very poverty though. 183 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,120 No, it's the same exact thing. 184 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,120 Actually I think it was better. 185 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,120 It had go-karts. 186 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,120 All right. 187 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,120 Well, I'll do a- 188 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,120 Did Chuckie Cheese have go-karts? 189 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:56,040 I'll do a poll and let us know which one was more poverty folks, Chuckie Cheese or Celebration 190 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,040 Station. 191 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,200 I mean, I think I could answer this right now. 192 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,440 Did Chuckie Cheese have go-karts? 193 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,440 Yeah, sometimes. 194 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,440 What? 195 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,440 Depends which one you went to. 196 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,440 I mean, well, Celebration Station had go-karts. 197 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,440 Yeah. 198 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,520 Well, did they have the best pizza in the world when you were a kid? 199 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:07,840 It was probably not good anymore. 200 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,440 I don't remember. 201 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,920 Well, everyone remembers Chuckie Cheese's pizza. 202 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,760 It was good. 203 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,760 I liked to go to Shakey's when I was a kid. 204 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:17,760 You ever go to Shakey's? 205 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:18,760 I don't even know if they exist anymore. 206 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:19,760 I don't know what that is. 207 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:26,520 The chain, it was like a buffet and then they had an arcade in the back. 208 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,040 And the buffet had pizza on it. 209 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,040 No. 210 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,560 We'd just go and we'd get the buffet pizza, which was basically frozen pizza. 211 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,560 There was? 212 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,840 We'd go to the, me and my little brother would just be stacking up our plates with frozen 213 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:38,840 pizza. 214 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:39,840 Yeah. 215 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,720 So some bowling alleys just have like tombstone pizzas they make here. 216 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:43,720 Yeah, exactly. 217 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:44,720 Those are the best. 218 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:45,720 There was a place called- 219 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:46,720 Fucking Pony Inn pizzas like that. 220 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,800 Pony Inn pizza where I do beer belly. 221 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:49,800 Really? 222 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:50,800 Yeah. 223 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,800 That's nice. 224 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:52,800 Oh, Frank and Mary's does that too. 225 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,800 Yeah. 226 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,240 Jim was doing that at North Bar back in the day. 227 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,240 Shout out to Jim. 228 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:57,240 Shout out to Jim. 229 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,240 Milk Breath. 230 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,920 Oh, I was thinking about this. 231 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:03,400 He's not around anymore, so we just are stuck on Milk Breath. 232 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,360 That was the last joke we made about him. 233 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,320 So he's just a milk bread on his tombstone. 234 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:14,320 No, I was thinking, I think he was driving Uber for a while. 235 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,920 And I don't know if he does anymore. 236 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:17,920 Hopefully not the Uber mench. 237 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:23,600 He probably has zero stars because he would have really loud music playing. 238 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:28,400 And then he would try to have conversations really quietly to the passengers. 239 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,840 And his car just smelled like milk. 240 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,960 If I know Jim, every time he gave an Uber driver a ride, he probably asked him to carry 241 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,360 a bunch of chairs downstairs. 242 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,880 He made the new favors for him. 243 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,480 He doesn't do fucking favors. 244 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,480 Yeah. 245 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:41,480 Yeah. 246 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,480 Ask them to do like on stage tech work. 247 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,760 They have no idea what things mean. 248 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:50,160 He would just know with no qualms at all. 249 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,040 Just be like, hey, can you do something for me? 250 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,840 Carry a bunch of chairs downstairs? 251 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:55,840 I was a gym slave. 252 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:56,840 Yeah. 253 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,920 He compensated me later on when North Bar was closing down. 254 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,360 He gave me some full bottles of chairs. 255 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,360 Oh, really? 256 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,360 Oh, nice. 257 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,360 Yeah. 258 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,320 And he gave me a handle of tequila and a bottle of Malort. 259 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,320 That's fucking sick. 260 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:10,320 Yeah. 261 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,440 And a bottle of vodka. 262 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:15,840 I was trying to work the door for him and security and also wanted him to book me on 263 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,840 the occasional show. 264 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,800 And so I was like, yeah, I'll carry the chairs. 265 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,800 I didn't want to. 266 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,680 There's still nothing where North Bar was. 267 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,680 Yeah. 268 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:30,680 So Jim, you should talk to them and start it again. 269 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,960 I think they just didn't want something loud down there for the tenants. 270 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,560 I think that they sold the building. 271 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,600 Yeah, the people who owned the building. 272 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,600 Yeah, yeah. 273 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,600 So it was like... 274 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,320 But he could stay there if the new owners would allow it, you know? 275 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:43,320 Oh. 276 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,880 Because I'm sure what he would do is he would... 277 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:45,880 Are they turning into apartments? 278 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:46,880 Maybe? 279 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,680 So he was the business owner, so he'd pay the owners just rent for the spot, you know? 280 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:51,680 And then... 281 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:55,800 Well, I mean, I don't know what they're doing there. 282 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,800 I don't care. 283 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,800 I hope this fucking burns. 284 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,800 Yeah. 285 00:08:58,800 --> 00:08:59,800 I hope they all burn. 286 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:00,800 Yeah. 287 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:01,800 I don't know. 288 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:06,440 I like to burn the bridge. 289 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,600 Burn bees and bees. 290 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,600 As Bernie Sanders'... 291 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,600 Applebee's? 292 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:12,600 ...as a bee. 293 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,600 Oh. 294 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:18,280 Applebee's started because a guy found an apple and had a bee in it instead of a worm. 295 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,280 I heard that story. 296 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:20,280 Yeah. 297 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:23,840 It was actually Johnny Appleseed. 298 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:24,840 Johnny Appleseed? 299 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:25,840 Uh-huh. 300 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:26,840 Okay. 301 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:27,840 Yeah. 302 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:28,840 He did a lot of apple stuff. 303 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,360 He founded Apple also, the company. 304 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,360 Apple? 305 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,360 He founded Apple. 306 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,360 Steve. 307 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,360 I thought it was founded by Steve Apple. 308 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:36,360 That was his friend. 309 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,360 Steve Apple killed him. 310 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:43,320 You know what's crazy about Apple is Apple was the... from the Bible. 311 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,120 It's a big Bible thing. 312 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,120 Yeah. 313 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,120 It's Adam and Eve. 314 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,120 Well, no. 315 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,120 Not Adam and Steve. 316 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,640 No, it's Adam, Addison, and Stephen Haas having sex in the Xenia's bathroom. 317 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,520 Because Eve got the apple from the tree and she ate that shit. 318 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,520 Yeah. 319 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:57,800 And the snake was like, don't do it. 320 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,800 Yeah. 321 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,960 The snake was like, please respect your husband. 322 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:01,960 Yeah. 323 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,240 The snake was like, don't eat the apple. 324 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,240 That's the real story. 325 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,240 He's got to be in it. 326 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,840 Honestly, did we get the snake side ever? 327 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,600 Because Eve sure came back and was like, the snake made me do it. 328 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,600 Well, yeah. 329 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,600 I didn't have anything to do. 330 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:15,600 I don't have free will. 331 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,600 Yeah. 332 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,720 The snake was Satan, I think, and she wasn't supposed to do it. 333 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:21,720 And then something like that. 334 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,800 But you know snakes got punished in that story. 335 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:24,800 Well... 336 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,840 According to that story, that's why snakes are forced to slither on the ground. 337 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,160 So I guess also snakes used to not slither. 338 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,160 Really? 339 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,840 According to my CCD class when I was in elementary school. 340 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:37,840 That's kind of cool. 341 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:38,840 Yeah. 342 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:39,840 That's probably true. 343 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,240 Man was forced to work the field and then women got periods. 344 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:47,240 That was all our different punishments we got for eating from the tree, good and evil. 345 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,480 Dude, St. Patrick was cool. 346 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,200 And now women want to work the field? 347 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,200 It's like, what the hell? 348 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,200 Yeah. 349 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,200 What do you do? 350 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,200 You get to hang out if you want. 351 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,200 You idiots. 352 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,200 Haven't you already done enough? 353 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,200 Yeah. 354 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,200 In that stupid apple? 355 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,200 Yeah. 356 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,080 Yeah, you ruined it. 357 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,400 Eve ruined it for you all. 358 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,400 Just accept it, okay? 359 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaking of snakes, St. Patrick, this is a true story. 360 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,040 He expelled all snakes from Ireland. 361 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,040 Yeah. 362 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,680 No one has seen a snake in Ireland ever since. 363 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,680 I know. 364 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:19,680 Wait a minute. 365 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,680 It's crazy. 366 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,000 I think he just ran around with the machete and just killed them all. 367 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,640 It was just like a snake genocide. 368 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,920 Did you ever hear that thing about snakes? 369 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,800 And I think it was in India somewhere. 370 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,480 On an airplane? 371 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,120 If you killed snakes, they had too many snakes. 372 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,760 So they made a rule that if you killed snakes, the government would give you some money. 373 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,760 That's awesome. 374 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,320 So people started farming snakes so they could kill them and turn them in. 375 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,960 And now there's like more snakes than ever. 376 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,760 There's always stuff like that. 377 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,760 Yeah. 378 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,200 Like with like gun buybacks too, when something has happened. 379 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:58,120 If the government tries to do like any kind of bounty or reward for something, people 380 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:01,040 find a way to make it fraudulently make everything worse. 381 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:04,360 They're like, how can I exploit this? 382 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,920 And it's like, yeah, they do that at all levels. 383 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,320 That's what corporations basically do with the Senate. 384 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:15,040 They're like, let's move down the regulations on pollution or whatever. 385 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,320 They're like, let's find a loophole. 386 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,920 The loophole is I'll pay this guy, the senator. 387 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,240 I saw a video of these guys. 388 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:26,600 They went to a gun buyback thing that was going on in the state. 389 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,880 They were just offering like a little bit above what the buyback was offering to people. 390 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,040 They got kicked out like right away. 391 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,720 They were like, we'll buy them. 392 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,720 Hell yeah. 393 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:39,720 Yeah. 394 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:40,720 It was when I was... 395 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,720 Stripping them back into the schools. 396 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,680 Yeah, it was one of those libertarian videos. 397 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,680 Yeah. 398 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,220 Those videos got to be fake, I feel like. 399 00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:50,520 I feel like there's got to be more videos where people get their ass kicked by the police 400 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,000 that people don't put online. 401 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,000 Yeah. 402 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000 You know what I mean? 403 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,200 When people fight the cops. 404 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,600 They fight the cops by being like... 405 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,800 Seems like a huge inconvenience to them. 406 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:02,800 Yeah. 407 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,840 They're like, here's how you could fight the cops. 408 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,960 You just need an extra three hours every day. 409 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:07,960 Yeah, I know. 410 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:08,960 It's so dumb. 411 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,680 An extra three hours every day to deal with the insane amount of bullshit they're going 412 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:13,680 to put you through. 413 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:14,680 Yeah. 414 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:19,120 Like if the cops on bullshit. 415 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,280 First of all, just be polite like you would to a normal person if you pulled over, as 416 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,280 what the problem was. 417 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:29,200 When the cop comes to the window, what you do is you press your gun against the door. 418 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,480 I've seen this in movies. 419 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,480 Yeah. 420 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:35,680 What people will say to do is just to roll the thing down like just a tiny crack. 421 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:39,480 You have to put it down a certain amount, but only like it... 422 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,800 You got to look up the state regulation for how far you have to roll down your window. 423 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,800 Someone once told me they gave me this business card. 424 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,000 It's like a lawyer business card. 425 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,280 And then it says on the back, like all the, I know my rights, blah, blah, blah. 426 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,160 It says it all and the cop reads it. 427 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,160 List of all your rights? 428 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,160 Yeah. 429 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,160 That's a thing that'll make a cop search your car. 430 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,160 Yeah. 431 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:00,240 Cops are never like, oh hell yeah, I love the constitution too. 432 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,240 Yeah. 433 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,440 Just be a normal guy and... 434 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,000 Let's talk about our favorite amendments. 435 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000 Yeah. 436 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,400 Unfortunately, if you're black, they're more likely to search your car probably. 437 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,400 Yeah. 438 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:12,400 But just don't be one of those people that is like, I know my rights. 439 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,400 Yeah. 440 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,120 Because as, yeah, it's three hours of your day. 441 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,120 You might get shot. 442 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,360 Like there's no reason to do that. 443 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:19,360 Yeah. 444 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,360 It's dumb. 445 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,360 Yeah. 446 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,360 Yeah. 447 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:25,280 And then it's like, it's not like they can't fuck you. 448 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,000 They'll find a way. 449 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:33,200 You know, like I was watching some dude, I was watching some soft white underbelly. 450 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,000 Do you ever watch that YouTube channel? 451 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000 No. 452 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000 Is that your belly? 453 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000 No. 454 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,960 Soft white underbelly is a guy who just interviews like a lot of homeless people on Skid Row 455 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,720 and like drug addicts and shit. 456 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,280 Is it the Aaron Chase podcast? 457 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,280 Yeah. 458 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,280 It's like, yeah. 459 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,320 Aaron Chase is basically doing that with comedians, which is funny because he thinks that comedians 460 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,400 are as sad as drug addicts, like depraved homeless people. 461 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,400 Yeah. 462 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,400 No. 463 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,520 I've seen a few of those. 464 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:02,040 There was one with a guy who was like, he was a cop and he wouldn't like turn... 465 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,800 He turned in another cop and then they just like fucking ruined his life. 466 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:06,800 Yeah. 467 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,840 They just kept coming after him and they could just be like, no, we got a complaint that 468 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:14,040 you have like a kidnapped child in your house and then they just raid your house. 469 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,040 They're like, sorry, that was our information. 470 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,040 The worst... 471 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,240 You can't like do anything. 472 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,440 The worst organization to be a rat at is the police. 473 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:25,600 It's worse than being a rat in the mafia or in the cartel. 474 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,160 I'd rather just get killed than what the police are going to do to you. 475 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,160 Yeah. 476 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,160 The police will get you. 477 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,160 They're going to put you in jail with all the guys you arrested. 478 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,160 Or they'll get the other police. 479 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,160 There's police everywhere. 480 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,240 And then it's like, yeah, let's get a rat on a cop. 481 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,640 Like, yeah, okay, let's kill him. 482 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:38,640 Yeah. 483 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,520 Cops everywhere will. 484 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,520 It's the fraternal order. 485 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,320 Also, the psychology of a police officer, I think is like way scarier than the psychology 486 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,320 of a mobster. 487 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,840 Like, as of just an individual. 488 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,840 Yeah. 489 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:51,840 I feel like... 490 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:52,840 It does depend on the person though. 491 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:53,840 Of course. 492 00:15:53,840 --> 00:16:00,040 But I think on average, I think your police are like power hungry like idiots. 493 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:05,880 Whereas mobsters, I feel like they kind of fall into it by, you know, like if they had 494 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,640 opportunity and stuff, they'd go do whatever, but then they had to find another way to make 495 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:10,640 money. 496 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:11,640 Maybe. 497 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:12,640 They're just into money. 498 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:13,640 Cops are into power. 499 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,640 I don't know. 500 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:18,160 But a lot of like, think about probably most of the mob organization is probably just like 501 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:24,280 bruisers and people that want to beat people up like loan sharks and shit. 502 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,680 I think it's mostly people. 503 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:29,640 I feel like those guys exist are less. 504 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,920 I think it's mostly guys trying to make money and hustle. 505 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:32,920 Yeah. 506 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:37,160 Well, the sociopaths are the ones that make it to the top. 507 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,520 And then the... 508 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:39,520 Of both organizations. 509 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,520 Of both organizations. 510 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:41,520 You're right. 511 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:42,520 Yeah. 512 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,520 Of all organizations. 513 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,240 Of every company is headed by... 514 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,720 Does that mean Obama is a sociopath? 515 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:48,720 Probably. 516 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:49,720 Probably, yeah. 517 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:50,720 To some extent, yeah. 518 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,360 I mean, as soon as he got done with like being president, he tried to go like with Netflix 519 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,960 to be like, he might be like a narcissist or something. 520 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,360 He wanted to do like, isn't he doing like Netflix like movie stuff now? 521 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,360 I have no idea. 522 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,360 Or TV stuff? 523 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,360 I don't know. 524 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,360 Yeah. 525 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:09,680 I mean, once you're president, you can make millions of dollars the rest of your life 526 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,680 doing anything. 527 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,680 Yeah. 528 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,680 Like people will have you on anything. 529 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:14,680 Yeah. 530 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,160 You can do whatever you want. 531 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,640 Especially if you're the first black president. 532 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,640 I feel like if you're done being president... 533 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,160 Donald Trump's the second black president because... 534 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,440 Because he's melatonin. 535 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,440 He's orange melanin. 536 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,440 Yeah. 537 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,440 Yeah. 538 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:27,440 But... 539 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,800 I was doing that joke for a while. 540 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,520 I think I stole it from Adam Bowden. 541 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,520 He was a... 542 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,680 It's like after it was Obama then Trump. 543 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,160 And then after Trump, I said, I'm a single issue voter. 544 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:44,800 I just vote whether or not the president's white. 545 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,720 I just want there to be a white president again, I used to say during Trump. 546 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:54,120 One thing Obama kept doing after he couldn't stop doing it, but even after he left office, 547 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:59,120 he kept his drones tricking weddings in the Middle East. 548 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,120 I think... 549 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,120 It's a thrill. 550 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,120 Yeah. 551 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,120 He's addicted to the thrill. 552 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,120 He loves it. 553 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,120 Yeah. 554 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,120 He's like... 555 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,120 So now he's getting like a contract of militaries to go down there? 556 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,120 Yeah. 557 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,120 Because he doesn't have the government anymore? 558 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,120 Yeah. 559 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,120 He just has black water drones. 560 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,120 Yeah. 561 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,120 He just pays for black water drones. 562 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:20,560 Because he's like, why use like a normal civilian drone that you just like take pictures with 563 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:25,120 when you can use a drone missile bomb on a wedding? 564 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:28,400 I got a movie wreck for you, Badlands. 565 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,040 I have a podcast wreck for you, bad comedy. 566 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,080 Badlands is about a drone pilot. 567 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,080 Badlands. 568 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,080 Can you write that down for me? 569 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,080 Yeah. 570 00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,080 This is funny. 571 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:45,240 I hope somebody watches this. 572 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,240 Badlands. 573 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,240 It was sick, dude. 574 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,240 I take your movie wrecks. 575 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,240 Yeah. 576 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,240 Which one have you watched? 577 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,240 You never take my movie wrecks. 578 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,240 Yeah. 579 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,240 I watched Bon Tomahawk. 580 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,560 You already wanted to watch that. 581 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,560 I just reminded you. 582 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:57,560 Yeah. 583 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,560 And that's why I watched it. 584 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,480 I heard it's an alt-right movie, and I'm still trying to figure out how. 585 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,120 I don't think it is. 586 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:10,560 So after I watched it, I went on Letterboxd, and the most popular review was like, well, 587 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,480 I at first had given this a good rating. 588 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:18,240 I now realize that this is all just a 4chan something or other. 589 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,400 There's some hidden alt-right message in Bon Tomahawk. 590 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:27,200 Well, the director is definitely a right leaning guy, because he also drags across concrete. 591 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,640 I don't even think that movie was right leaning. 592 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,080 I disagree with you about that, I think. 593 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:37,040 I think there were characters in it that were right leaning, like the cops and stuff, but 594 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,640 I thought that they were sort of making fun of it a little bit. 595 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,640 Yeah. 596 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,760 It was just like, to me it was more like, not like the overall philosophy was right 597 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,960 leaning, but saying there are really people out here who think these things. 598 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:50,960 Yeah, yeah. 599 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:51,960 I thought that's what he was. 600 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:52,960 I love that movie. 601 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,760 I think they accurately portrayed cops very well. 602 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:57,760 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 603 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,800 I thought it was a more accurate. 604 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,840 At least OG agent cops. 605 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:09,680 And also, they didn't do what a lot of movies do, which is they're usually written by liberals, 606 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,520 so they give them straw man arguments. 607 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:18,480 The cops will have bad reasons for being shitty, whereas these guys had good reasons for being 608 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,480 shitty. 609 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,480 What's a straw man argument? 610 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:26,480 Is that when you're arguing about a scarecrow or something? 611 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:27,480 Yeah. 612 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:33,000 Pretty much the guy, that fucking guy from Wizard of Oz, pretty much all his arguments 613 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,880 were straw man arguments, if you know what I'm saying. 614 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,040 Oh, I was thinking about this. 615 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,920 What the hell is, what are existential questions? 616 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,160 What does that mean? 617 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,520 I was thinking about this. 618 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,520 Who came up with the name for a scarecrow? 619 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,400 They're like, we built a guy to scare crows. 620 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,400 What are we going to call it? 621 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,400 I don't know. 622 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,400 Call it a scarecrow. 623 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,400 How fucking uncreative. 624 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,400 I'd imagine it is. 625 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,240 The least creative man in history. 626 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,440 He's probably a Native American. 627 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,440 I am. 628 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:01,440 Hey, I do. 629 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,520 Hey, they call me runs with Buffalo. 630 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,520 I do run with the Buffalo. 631 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,520 Yeah. 632 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,520 I am what they say. 633 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,800 I'm guessing some white guy on the frontier made one. 634 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:14,160 And then the Indians are like, what do you make this for? 635 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,120 They're like, for scaring the crows. 636 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:24,280 He's like, oh, scarecrow. 637 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,200 What are existential questions? 638 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,240 I feel like I can answer any existential question. 639 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,600 Do you want me to ask some? 640 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,400 Ask me an existential question and I'll answer it. 641 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,760 I think I'll start with the big one. 642 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,520 What's the meaning of life? 643 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,360 It's to have fun and to do comedy. 644 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,360 Next. 645 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,360 Next. 646 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,360 I disagree. 647 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,920 I actually think the meaning of life is to get money and pussy. 648 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:44,920 No. 649 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,560 Well, get money and pussy also. 650 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,560 Oh, OK. 651 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,040 Then I guess we're in agreement. 652 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,040 Yeah. 653 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,040 Ask me another one. 654 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,040 All right. 655 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,680 How do you lead a good life? 656 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,640 By just living it up. 657 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,640 OK. 658 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,440 And saying, what do I do? 659 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:01,440 Yeah. 660 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:02,440 I believe. 661 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,440 Like people. 662 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,840 I believe Ricky Martin answered this question a long time ago. 663 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,840 You live in the Vita Loka. 664 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,840 Yeah. 665 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,840 You live a crazy life. 666 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:12,840 That's right. 667 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:13,840 And be gay. 668 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,680 I turn to Ricky Martin for most of my existential questions. 669 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:18,680 Yeah. 670 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:19,680 So we don't need philosophers. 671 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,400 I can answer every question that anybody wants. 672 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:31,080 Give me another existential question or an unanswered one that people debate. 673 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:36,400 What is human's nature? 674 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,400 What's our nature? 675 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:38,400 What's human nature? 676 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,400 Is that one? 677 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,400 I would say human nature. 678 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,400 I don't have internet right now. 679 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,920 I'm just coming up with this off the top of my head. 680 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,120 What is human nature? 681 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,160 Yeah. 682 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,520 That's too broad of a question. 683 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,520 I got one. 684 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,440 Is there a God? 685 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,920 It depends how you define God. 686 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:03,680 Oh, that's a good comeback. 687 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:04,680 Here's one. 688 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,680 Do we have free will? 689 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:06,680 Is this existential? 690 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,680 Yes. 691 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,680 We do? 692 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,680 Mm-hmm. 693 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,680 OK. 694 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:11,680 I saw the movie. 695 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,760 Then how do you explain Eve when the snake told her to eat the apple when she just did 696 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,760 it? 697 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,760 It's like, don't you have free will, bitch? 698 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:18,760 Yeah. 699 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,240 So she was just being a dumb bitch. 700 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,240 Yeah. 701 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,880 You know who doesn't have free will? 702 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,600 Hot chicks when they get around me. 703 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:31,480 They just come under my spell. 704 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,680 I saw this movie about a whale. 705 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:34,680 The whale? 706 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,680 Free will. 707 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:36,680 Oh, free will. 708 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:37,680 Is there a lighter in here? 709 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,840 I can find one. 710 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:43,880 You saw free willy? 711 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,080 Free will, I think it was called. 712 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:46,080 Free will? 713 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,080 It's a Will Smith movie. 714 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,080 It was a... 715 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,480 After he got slapped and went to jail, after he slapped somebody and went to jail, I held 716 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,600 up the sign that said free will. 717 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:53,600 I think it's... 718 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,880 Who's that one guy, Sam? 719 00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,240 He's a philosopher or a... 720 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:00,240 Sam Harris? 721 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,440 Sam Harris thinks we don't have free will. 722 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,440 Yeah, I know. 723 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,440 Yeah. 724 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,440 Which we do. 725 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:12,080 Sam Harris also thinks that Muslims are going to try and take us over or whatever. 726 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,080 Yeah. 727 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,840 Sam Harris, he thinks Muslims are the boogeyman. 728 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,520 He's so confident about what this shit he says. 729 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,320 He's fucking nuts. 730 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,880 I haven't looked into his shit since I was in college. 731 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:25,880 Yeah. 732 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,280 He got really big when I was in college because he wrote a book about being atheist and it 733 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,960 was all over YouTube. 734 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:31,960 Yeah. 735 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,960 Well, guess what, Sam Harris? 736 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,120 First of all, we have free will. 737 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:40,520 Second of all, there's a God probably. 738 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:41,520 Sam Harry ass? 739 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:42,520 Yeah. 740 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,520 Sam talent Harris. 741 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,160 Any other existential questions? 742 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,160 Let's see. 743 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:55,360 I literally know all the answers to any question that philosophers could ask. 744 00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:57,200 I'm not surprised, but you're doing very great. 745 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,200 Well, I'm God. 746 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,800 That's how I know there's a God. 747 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,280 Yeah. 748 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,280 Existential questions. 749 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,280 So like existential question... 750 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:11,760 Oh, how about this? 751 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,000 What is our essence? 752 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,920 What is our essence? 753 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,000 That was John Paul Sartre. 754 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,040 What is the human essence? 755 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:21,040 Yeah. 756 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:28,840 Well, the human essence is to be a being, but the goal is to have a lot of guala and 757 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:29,840 drip. 758 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:30,840 Oh, okay. 759 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:31,840 Yeah. 760 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:32,840 And jury. 761 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,840 Yeah. 762 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:42,760 They say that existence precedes essence because you can't have essence until you exist. 763 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,560 Yeah. 764 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:50,600 I like how they say, they'll say like as existence precedes essence and it sounds like, holy 765 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,600 fuck. 766 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:52,600 Yeah. 767 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:56,280 And what they're really saying is you have to exist in order for us to talk about you. 768 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,280 Yeah. 769 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,280 They just try to... 770 00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,280 It's like, what are you... 771 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,280 You're not saying anything. 772 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,280 Exactly. 773 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:07,520 They just say words that seem complicated together and then it's more like poetry than 774 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:08,520 it is like philosophy. 775 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,520 Yeah. 776 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,480 And that's where you get guys like Diogenes and shit. 777 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,480 Yeah. 778 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,480 They're like pissed at these philosophers. 779 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,480 Yeah. 780 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,480 Are those the Sophists? 781 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:16,480 The Justin Galactans. 782 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:24,080 He was more like the original troll, like Diogenes. 783 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,080 One thing he did is... 784 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,080 I guess we're Sophists. 785 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:27,080 He like... 786 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,480 What was his thing? 787 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,480 He's like... 788 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:37,480 Listeners, Sophists are like the opposite of philosophers, right? 789 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:38,480 Sophists? 790 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:39,480 Yeah. 791 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,480 Well... 792 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:45,840 Or they try to disprove logic? 793 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:46,840 So back in... 794 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:50,240 Sophists were like a job you could... 795 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,400 Well, a job you could have was to be a Sophist back in the day and a Sophist would basically 796 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,640 teach rhetoric to politicians. 797 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,640 So teach them how to talks because everything was democratic and they go in the Coliseum 798 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:02,960 and argue. 799 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:08,920 So you would teach them how to basically be like one of them talking heads on the TV for 800 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,320 like a political show where you're trying to make your argument sound the best. 801 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,320 Yeah. 802 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,720 Basically, because you're doing that in front of everybody and then you vote on a law. 803 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:16,720 Yeah. 804 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:21,720 It's like that movie where Will Smith and Zach Galifianakis are running for governor 805 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:22,720 or something. 806 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:23,720 Yeah. 807 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:24,720 Yeah. 808 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,720 The campaign. 809 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,720 And there's that guy. 810 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,720 Yeah. 811 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:28,720 Who's that actor? 812 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:29,720 I don't remember. 813 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,720 I saw him a long time ago. 814 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:31,720 He's in mostly action movies. 815 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:32,720 I don't know. 816 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,720 They all look the same. 817 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,920 Socrates said the problem with Sophists is they teach you how to make the weaker argument 818 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:36,920 the stronger. 819 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:37,920 They do. 820 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:38,920 He's not wrong. 821 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:39,920 Yeah. 822 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:51,400 What you have to do is you have to say simple stuff in a convincing and captivating way. 823 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,540 It's also like that movie. 824 00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:53,540 Thank you for smoking. 825 00:27:53,540 --> 00:27:54,540 I love it. 826 00:27:54,540 --> 00:27:56,120 Where the guy's arguing like smoking is good. 827 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,240 I love that movie so much. 828 00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,240 He's basically a sophist. 829 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,240 So they're lobbyists. 830 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,240 Yeah. 831 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,240 Yeah. 832 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,240 Yeah. 833 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,520 I think lobbyists would be the modern sort of they use rhetoric to try and. 834 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:12,080 But the thing about lobbyists too is they also maybe use money or like bribes. 835 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,080 Yeah. 836 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,080 Yeah. 837 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,120 To convince you, which I don't think I think sophist true is more just about because you're 838 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:18,960 going in front of everybody and making an argument. 839 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,280 Well, I'm sure there's some bribes back then. 840 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:22,280 Yeah. 841 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,280 You know. 842 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:24,280 Oh yeah. 843 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:25,280 Yes. 844 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,280 Gold. 845 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,280 Yeah. 846 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,280 Yeah. 847 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,280 Remember when they remember I always call Justin Golan. 848 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,680 I guess so because all his jokes are like I remember he was doing a joke for a while. 849 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,680 Yeah. 850 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:35,680 Are you littering is good. 851 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:40,240 He had a joke for a while legitimately like being late is better than being early. 852 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,040 That was his joke. 853 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:45,480 And his joke was like here's the reason why is because you could make someone late. 854 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,480 Yeah. 855 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,480 But you can't make them early. 856 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,200 Like if you're late, everyone starts with you. 857 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,520 So you're kind of like in control. 858 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,040 And then somehow you're like, OK, yeah, being late is good. 859 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:56,040 I just screw them. 860 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,040 I like. 861 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,840 Well, it depends what it is. 862 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:03,800 I like being early the first one to a party and then being the last one to leave. 863 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,960 I love being at somebody's house for as long as possible. 864 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:08,960 Yeah. 865 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,000 Just to see how long I can overstay my welcome. 866 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,480 I have a lot of trouble leaving before everyone else. 867 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:16,480 Me too. 868 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,960 Some people, a lot of people's Irish goodbye. 869 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:19,960 Yeah. 870 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,680 Some people just kind of have to Irish goodbye. 871 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,680 Otherwise, I'll stay late. 872 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,760 Some people get social anxiety and Irish goodbye. 873 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,560 I've never that's there been me. 874 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,400 I just stay there and drink as long as people are drinking. 875 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:30,400 Sometimes I do Irish. 876 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,400 Hello. 877 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,400 I show up and I don't talk to anybody. 878 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:34,680 I just go sit by myself. 879 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:35,680 I do Irish. 880 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,680 Hello. 881 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:37,680 Sometimes I do Irish. 882 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:38,680 Hello. 883 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,120 I walked in and I say top of the morning to you. 884 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,120 It's as evening. 885 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,120 Evening. 886 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:48,960 They come from top of the morning. 887 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,040 What are some philosophies we can come up with? 888 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,480 Some new philosophies or what? 889 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,480 Yeah. 890 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,760 Are you want some more existential questions? 891 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,000 We can because come with some philosophies. 892 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,000 OK. 893 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:09,560 I think there's generally like there's sort of like logic, which is like the tool used 894 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:10,560 to do philosophy. 895 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,520 It's also considered a philosophical field because you could do you could study logic 896 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,760 and then logic pro is a computer program. 897 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,520 Logic pro is a computer program made for making beats. 898 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,440 And also there's no women who can study logic or logic. 899 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:28,120 They're completely incapable of using that program. 900 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,800 Also, there's a program called Reason. 901 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,680 They can't use that either. 902 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,240 So yeah, there's logic and reason. 903 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,760 So you have to have logic and reason. 904 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:44,400 Generally that's what you apply to philosophy. 905 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,080 Philosophy is like applying logic to a certain thing. 906 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,160 Is it mixing logic and reason? 907 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,160 Yeah. 908 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,160 Reason is a part of logic. 909 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,360 You know, reason is like, you know, your evidence. 910 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,360 So it has to be. 911 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,360 Yeah. 912 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:59,000 Well, I thought the logic is the more the frame of it. 913 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,680 It's the structure of your arguments. 914 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:01,680 Yeah. 915 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:02,680 Yeah. 916 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,840 And then the reasoning is the fluff around is evidence. 917 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:10,320 But you know, like a structure of an argument is you provide an argument and then you provide 918 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,320 reasons. 919 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:12,680 So reasons can be a part of logic. 920 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:17,960 I like to I like to have arguments and not have any evidence behind it. 921 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,720 Yeah, that's the logical. 922 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:23,000 But not if I keep going with it. 923 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,480 How does that work? 924 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,200 Well, I guess come with fake reasons. 925 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,600 Oh, well, then you have reasons. 926 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,600 Yeah. 927 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:29,600 Yeah. 928 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:30,600 There you go. 929 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:31,600 But they're they're fake reasons. 930 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:32,600 Yeah. 931 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:33,600 This upset whoever I'm arguing. 932 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,400 And nobody said that just because you're being logical doesn't mean you have to be being 933 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,400 truthful. 934 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,440 That's true. 935 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,040 I thought so. 936 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,640 You know, that's actually a thing I use. 937 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,440 I used to teach symbolic logic. 938 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:46,440 Did you know that? 939 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,480 I know you taught like some philosophy shit. 940 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:49,480 Yeah. 941 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:54,040 And one of the things is you could have a valid argument, but it could be all lies. 942 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,040 Yeah. 943 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,040 Yeah. 944 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,640 That's why you look like like Socrates. 945 00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,640 Yeah. 946 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:00,640 Or Plato. 947 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,640 Did they look the same? 948 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,640 They're they both the beards? 949 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:08,000 I mean, I think everyone in ancient Greece looked like they just look like the guy at 950 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,800 the fucking gyro store. 951 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:18,800 I'm pretty sure every every Greek philosopher was a fat guy with a beard with a white beard. 952 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,040 Actually I don't think any of them were really that fat. 953 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,600 I think they were. 954 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:26,760 I mean, although all they did was sit around and think Socrates was like ex military. 955 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:27,760 Yeah. 956 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:32,840 But Socrates was said to be like he spent so much time on philosophy that his clothes were 957 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:38,000 falling off of his body because he was so dirty and and he didn't like ever change his 958 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,400 clothes like that's the thing they said. 959 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,060 He also never wrote anything. 960 00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:44,520 Everything about Socrates was written by Plato, a student. 961 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:45,520 Really? 962 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:46,520 Yeah. 963 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,360 He just talked to people all day and he annoyed people so bad that they said you either have 964 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:55,160 to leave town or kill yourself and then he killed himself. 965 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,160 The story of Socrates. 966 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,280 He's like a Japanese guy. 967 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,200 They took him to court for being annoying. 968 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,200 Are you serious? 969 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,200 Yeah. 970 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:03,200 It's a wild story. 971 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:07,960 Is it because he would like just preach all this like philosophy to the Senate or whatever 972 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,200 and stuff and they're just like shut up. 973 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:16,240 I mean, the story according to Plato is he went to the fucking this. 974 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,400 I took a philosophy class and I totally forgot the difference. 975 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,880 Like what their differences in ideologies were. 976 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,520 The real story of soccer, the story of soccer is according to Plato is Socrates went to the 977 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:30,960 mystics and the mystics told Socrates, you're the wisest man in the whole place. 978 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,520 And Socrates says, but I don't know anything. 979 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:34,520 Yeah. 980 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,560 So then he's like, well, if I'm the wisest man, I'm going to just prove it. 981 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,560 He goes back to town. 982 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,000 He goes, who's the wisest man? 983 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,760 He goes, talks to that guy. 984 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:45,600 And then he just he uses the Socratic method where he keeps asking them questions about 985 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,840 what they believe and he proves that everything that they think is stupid. 986 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,920 Like he's just annoying the shadow. 987 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:57,040 He's like, oh, so you think that he goes, you think that our morality comes from God? 988 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,400 Well, who made the rules? 989 00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,400 God? 990 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,960 Or did God just say the rules because the rules are already good? 991 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:05,440 That's are the rules good because God says they're good or are they good? 992 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,640 Whatever he I would do whatever they did to him. 993 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:08,640 Yeah. 994 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:09,640 So he goes around, he does that. 995 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:11,240 He keeps asking who's the wisest guy. 996 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:13,240 It's probably like the nobles. 997 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:14,240 Yeah. 998 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:15,240 They're like, this guy sucks. 999 00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:16,640 And then here comes this famous saying. 1000 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,400 He goes, OK, I would talk to all the smartest people in the world and they don't know shit, 1001 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,040 but they think they know something. 1002 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,360 The only reason why I'm the wisest man is because I know one thing that I know nothing. 1003 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,480 That's the dumbest quote of all. 1004 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:30,480 Yeah. 1005 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,480 The only thing I know is that I know nothing. 1006 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:32,480 Yeah. 1007 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,480 And that's like, OK, all right. 1008 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,800 Time to K.Y.S. or leave. 1009 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:41,440 They accuse him of believing in the wronged gods and being an atheist. 1010 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,000 He goes, how could I do that? 1011 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,400 And they're like, it doesn't matter. 1012 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:46,400 We all agree. 1013 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:47,400 Yeah, we all agree. 1014 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,400 You're stupid. 1015 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,400 You're done. 1016 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,400 We just we just needed a reason. 1017 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:55,760 They also accused him of corrupting the youth because I guess a bunch of kids watched him 1018 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:57,920 do this and then they started doing it, too. 1019 00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:58,920 Yeah. 1020 00:34:58,920 --> 00:34:59,920 Well, he started trolling. 1021 00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:00,920 Let me do that. 1022 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,840 That just reminds me of a kid who doesn't know anything and trying to learn. 1023 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:06,400 It's like, Dad, what's a star? 1024 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,760 It's like it's a thing in the sky. 1025 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:11,600 It's like, what's it made of? 1026 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,600 Yeah. 1027 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,600 It's so annoying. 1028 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:14,600 That's Socrates, man. 1029 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:19,600 Yeah, this is the worst kind of person. 1030 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,160 There's just everything you say. 1031 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,160 They want up it. 1032 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,280 The thing is, though, like at the end, he acted like he was so logical. 1033 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,240 But all they said was you got to leave town. 1034 00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:29,240 Yeah. 1035 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:32,560 And then he made all these weird arguments about like how Athens is the best place in 1036 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:33,560 the world. 1037 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:34,920 And if he can't live there, he'd rather die. 1038 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,280 And yeah, he killed himself. 1039 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,600 But it's like, dude, he was like super not logical. 1040 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,480 Well, I mean, or whatever. 1041 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:41,480 Where is he going to go? 1042 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:42,480 Sparta? 1043 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:43,480 Sparta? 1044 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:44,480 They're going to put up with his annoying shit. 1045 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:45,480 They'd probably kill him anywhere he goes. 1046 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,480 They're killing so fast. 1047 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,160 One thing I always thought about was funny about Socrates, too. 1048 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,440 He's like in his 70s or something. 1049 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,320 He's got like a family and kids who he just never talks to. 1050 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,880 Well, I feel like they're never mentioned. 1051 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:04,320 At that point, I feel like Athens would be the place that would be the most open to like 1052 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,980 the most liberal to ideas like that. 1053 00:36:07,980 --> 00:36:09,520 So they would probably put up with it the most. 1054 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:15,480 Yeah, you go to like one of the smaller city states or whatever or Sparta. 1055 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,800 They'd just be like, what the shut up. 1056 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:18,800 What are you saying? 1057 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,680 Are you going to be in the military or I mean, he was in the military. 1058 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,680 And Socrates is. 1059 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:24,680 Yeah. 1060 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,040 But then he became annoying and shit. 1061 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,040 Yeah. 1062 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,040 What about Plato? 1063 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,040 What's his whole thing? 1064 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:30,040 Plato was soccer. 1065 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:31,280 He invented even Plato, right? 1066 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,280 Yeah. 1067 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:33,720 He loved multiple clay. 1068 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:35,520 Yeah, that's cool. 1069 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:36,680 And then he was. 1070 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,240 I don't really know anything about Plato's life, except he wrote down all this Socrates 1071 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,240 shit. 1072 00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:42,240 OK, got you. 1073 00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:46,480 And you know, like because he was also a teacher, a lot of people think he like really embellished 1074 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,040 to make his books like more educational. 1075 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,240 And then Herodotus was the first historian. 1076 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,240 Herodotus Herodotus. 1077 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:54,240 I don't know. 1078 00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:57,040 Tom Holland talks about him all the time. 1079 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:58,040 Oh, yeah. 1080 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,640 Those guys existed way before all this. 1081 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,840 OK, those guys were like there was no that was before philosophy. 1082 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,880 I think that was when people were like, oh, why is the river work? 1083 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,000 Because there's gods in the river that are. 1084 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,000 Yeah. 1085 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,840 And then there was this guy, Thales of Miletus, who was considered the first philosopher, 1086 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,440 who said, I think everything is made of water. 1087 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:23,080 But the reason why he was considered first philosopher is because he didn't use gods 1088 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:24,080 in his argument. 1089 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,680 He's like, everything is kind of moist. 1090 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:32,480 You ever notice people were like, I see the water flowing into the ground and out of the 1091 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,560 ground was one of the things he said. 1092 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:35,840 People were so dumb. 1093 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:36,840 Yeah. 1094 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,840 There was no science yet. 1095 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,040 This is the invention of science. 1096 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,520 This is the invention of non-god explanation. 1097 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:47,480 Why do we study these dumbass philosophers from back in the day? 1098 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,080 We're just we're way smarter than now. 1099 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,480 Well, Heraclitus said everything is made out of fire. 1100 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:53,480 What's his name? 1101 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:54,480 Heraclitus. 1102 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,480 I'm not going to listen to a guy named Heraclitus. 1103 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:56,480 Heraclitus. 1104 00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:00,560 I'm also not going to listen to actually I will listen to Herodotus. 1105 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,520 Xenophonies was pretty cool. 1106 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,520 Her hot tits. 1107 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,520 Her hot tits. 1108 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:05,520 I like that. 1109 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:06,520 Yeah. 1110 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,520 So I joined the. 1111 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,520 The Lincoln. 1112 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,520 Oh, shit. 1113 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:12,520 I thought I was my FBI head. 1114 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,520 I have an old body inspector. 1115 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,520 I should have my total fail button. 1116 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,520 No, but I was thinking about the ATF. 1117 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:26,520 I want to join the ATF because the ATF is ass and titties finder. 1118 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,520 I like that. 1119 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:28,520 What time is it? 1120 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:29,520 I can't see. 1121 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:30,520 Three twenty six. 1122 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,520 OK, OK, OK. 1123 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:32,520 I'll check IG if you want to. 1124 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,520 Yeah, I was just curious about their if they message you back. 1125 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,520 He and he said, we'll do. 1126 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,520 He said, OK, so I guess they don't need the address. 1127 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,520 Yeah, I texted it to them. 1128 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:43,520 They're good. 1129 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:44,520 All right. 1130 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:50,520 Back to Heraclitus, Heratitis back to talking about how people from the people that we founded 1131 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:51,520 are ideals on. 1132 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,520 Yeah, I put a finger in his enough Fanny. 1133 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,520 Yeah, Fanny. 1134 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:59,520 Those guys can all shut up because I follow the Bible. 1135 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:08,520 But we're I guess the Ten Commandments is a good framework for like laws. 1136 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:13,520 Archivor is a good joke about the Ten Commandments. 1137 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,520 I mean, that's all religion is, is like population control. 1138 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:23,520 But I watched this anthropology guy say that we're being it was a popular it was a population 1139 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:24,520 studies class. 1140 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,520 We might have to delete this episode or be too smart. 1141 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:32,520 Yeah, legitimately, I know like a shit ton about philosophy and it's weird to like dust 1142 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,520 off that part of my brain. 1143 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,520 I haven't said anything smart in years. 1144 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:37,520 Oh, fuck. 1145 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,520 Yeah. 1146 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,520 Now, let's let's get away from this. 1147 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,520 I like weirdly just want to go more. 1148 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,520 But it's like it's a it's a bad path. 1149 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:46,520 That's way too smart for this. 1150 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,520 It's always cool when you know stuff and other people don't. 1151 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:54,520 But when you know stuff and other people do, then all they do is try and like outsmart 1152 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:55,520 you. 1153 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,520 They try and be like, oh, you know that fact. 1154 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:58,520 Well, I know a fact, too. 1155 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,520 And then it becomes like it's always irritating. 1156 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:01,520 Yeah. 1157 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:02,520 Me and you. 1158 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:03,520 I almost became a philosophy. 1159 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,520 And you like to one up each other on history. 1160 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:11,520 I am one of the reasons why I didn't keep going to school for philosophy was because 1161 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:15,520 I went to a few of these like philosophy parties in my college where all the teachers would 1162 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:20,520 go and they would one of them would like present on something they're working on. 1163 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,520 And then the way they talk to each other afterwards was so irritating. 1164 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:29,520 It seemed like they were all posturing and competitive about like basically about how 1165 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:33,520 many books they read because it wasn't about like they didn't come up with shit. 1166 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:34,520 They're like, did you read this book? 1167 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,520 Because this guy says this, that'd be the worst. 1168 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,520 That'd be the worst party to go to as a party of philosophers. 1169 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:44,520 Or there were there was a few cool ones that I love talking to one on one because I like 1170 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:45,520 learning about it. 1171 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:50,520 But to actually make new philosophy nowadays is brutal. 1172 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:56,520 Or to like go to like a like a Communist Party meeting or like or a libertarian meeting. 1173 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,520 I'm telling you all the same thing. 1174 00:40:58,520 --> 00:40:59,520 I'm meeting of any. 1175 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,520 These are all the same meeting of any ideal. 1176 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,520 If it's based on an ideal that you're going to. 1177 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,520 Well, this was like a school thing. 1178 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:07,520 So it's just all the people who are studying that. 1179 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:08,520 No, I know. 1180 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,520 But it wasn't so much like we like those ones. 1181 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:12,520 You're trying to change the world. 1182 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:13,520 Those political groups. 1183 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:19,520 OK, well, I guess a party of the party is not for communists, but it's party full of 1184 00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:20,520 communists. 1185 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,520 That's all they want to talk about. 1186 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:25,520 The only kind of party you should go to is when it's like called like a party and then 1187 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,520 you go there and you get drunk. 1188 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:28,520 Yeah. 1189 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,520 And the at most you want to go to like a birthday party like Branding Keever's. 1190 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:33,520 Yeah. 1191 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,520 You want to go to somebody's house at 5 a.m. with a bunch of degenerates. 1192 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,520 Preferably the house is full of smoke. 1193 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:39,520 So you kind of cough when you come in. 1194 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:40,520 Yeah. 1195 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:41,520 Yeah. 1196 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,520 You're like, oh, my God, I'm going to stink tomorrow. 1197 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,520 Yeah. 1198 00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:49,520 And then there's like a guy who talks really slow and he's tall, like Albers. 1199 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:50,520 Yeah. 1200 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:55,520 And then you get so drunk that you just stare at somebody across the room and they're so 1201 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,520 drunk they just stare back at you. 1202 00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:58,520 Well, they're in ketamine. 1203 00:41:58,520 --> 00:41:59,520 Yeah. 1204 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,520 So they're totally cool with it. 1205 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:02,520 See, that's a party. 1206 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,520 Now, that's what we're talking about. 1207 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:05,520 Yeah. 1208 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:09,520 We don't go to parties where people talk about like things that might exist. 1209 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,520 People get kind of drunk at these philosophy. 1210 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:14,520 Philosophy kind of sucks. 1211 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:20,520 It's like it's like what if what if this is the case? 1212 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:21,520 This is all what ifs. 1213 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:22,520 Yeah. 1214 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,520 Fuck that. 1215 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:25,520 What do you want the answers? 1216 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,520 I have the answers. 1217 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,520 I mean, honestly, philosophy is a dead art. 1218 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:33,520 I guess. 1219 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,520 Because I know the answers to everything. 1220 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:36,520 Oh, yeah. 1221 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,520 Yeah. 1222 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,520 I'm God. 1223 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,520 Kanye Mac over here. 1224 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,520 I mean, Kanye is a false idol. 1225 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:49,520 So what do you think of John Hickok getting your goat on the show? 1226 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,520 Doing what? 1227 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,520 Last episode, I was here, John Hickok got you all mad at the end of the episode. 1228 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:55,520 Yeah. 1229 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:56,520 Tune in to Patreon.com for that. 1230 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,520 We didn't do any ads or anything. 1231 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,520 Oh, yeah, we will. 1232 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,520 This is my ad for Patreon.com. 1233 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,520 John got Mac a little steamed. 1234 00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:05,520 I think. 1235 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:06,520 Yeah, he got me up. 1236 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,520 We're still here. 1237 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:08,520 I'm back. 1238 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:09,520 Well, I'm back. 1239 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:10,980 So that's Patreon.com slash bad comedy for all the guest episodes. 1240 00:43:10,980 --> 00:43:15,820 John Hickok pissed me off because he lied and said I bombed on a show, which is absolutely 1241 00:43:15,820 --> 00:43:16,820 not true. 1242 00:43:16,820 --> 00:43:18,140 Can we get the footage for this? 1243 00:43:18,140 --> 00:43:20,340 Is this coming out ever or we just drop it? 1244 00:43:20,340 --> 00:43:22,500 I told John I wouldn't put it out. 1245 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:23,500 You found it though? 1246 00:43:23,500 --> 00:43:25,080 Because of his jokes, yeah. 1247 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,640 Because John bombed? 1248 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,560 I mean, he didn't do good by any means. 1249 00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,080 I remember having a… 1250 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:41,220 I had to consult him after the show. I was like, I mean, he's like kind of down after 1251 00:43:41,220 --> 00:43:44,980 a little bit. And I was like, I was like, yeah, I think a lot of your jokes are more 1252 00:43:44,980 --> 00:43:51,560 like club jokes. They might not like it on the bar room, whatever. But I remember I followed 1253 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:56,180 this guy who for context, they did a show in like the southeast side of Chicago. Yeah. 1254 00:43:56,180 --> 00:44:01,200 It's like a shitty sports bar with a very like working class Mexican audience. Yeah. 1255 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:08,960 That audience, it's always a lot of the same people and they like me. So I do at minimum. 1256 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:13,160 I honestly didn't think it was a lot of the same people the two times I went. It seemed 1257 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:17,080 like different people. Did the biker gang go both times for you? I don't think so. The 1258 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,280 biker game was there once before you, right? I don't remember. I think they come if I'm 1259 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:25,320 on the lineup because they've been there every time. I have fans. We should get them on our 1260 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:30,320 Patreon. And it's a biker gang. Patreon.com. They said they... Come on guys, we'll teach 1261 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:34,400 you how to use the Internet. Well, they loved Hickok after they found out who he was. They 1262 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,880 weren't laughing at his jokes much. Yeah. Hickok Anonymous. I mean, but... Remember 1263 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:45,880 that joke from Big Daddy? He for sure... Yeah. He didn't do well on the show. Okay. And I 1264 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:54,360 did better than him. Yeah, but who was taller? He was. But once John walked on stage, all 1265 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:59,200 the black people walked away. Yeah. If I was a black guy, I would be very frightened when 1266 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:02,400 he walked in the room. Yeah. In fact, I've seen a lot of black people be frightened when 1267 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:06,120 he walks in the room. Yeah. My first off the cuff joke was me talking about how I was a 1268 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,120 BD because I wanted to... Because the black people were... They were already hot from 1269 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:15,480 the Connock Crier. Uh-huh. And I got them... I got them good there. They're like, what 1270 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:23,800 the fuck are you talking about? But yep, John Hickok did bad on the show... On the PD show, 1271 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:32,000 I did well. But it's a good audience there. The only problem is they have noise in the 1272 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,080 back sometimes. They're like a playoff game going on. Oh yeah. It's like a sports bar. 1273 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:40,040 They told... And half the bar doesn't know a show is happening. Yeah, yeah. But he definitely 1274 00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,240 does have regulars that come. I think I did pretty mid last time I was there. Ricardo 1275 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:48,560 did good. He always has like... Ricardo Angulo. He always has at least 15 of the same Hispanics 1276 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:53,880 that are there. Yeah. I think it's like his wife and all of her friends and then... And 1277 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:57,080 then you get the bike... He's got a wife. He's got a kid. Yeah. Shout out to PD. Yeah. 1278 00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:01,600 PD's got a kid. Shout out to PD Rodriguez. Love PD. Check out... Shout out to patreon.com 1279 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:12,080 slash bad comedy. Yeah. Oh, and I... I found this website. Don't tell me. It's a club. 1280 00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:18,320 Pornhub.com. Oh, I have been found that one. Imagine you found it just now. Right. Dude, 1281 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:24,360 this is going to blow your mind. There is pornagra... There's people having sex in video 1282 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:29,520 for you. And it's all free. But yeah, before I plug... I've been losing thousands of dollars 1283 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,720 a year on this shit. But before I plug what I was about to plug, how awesome is it that 1284 00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:39,680 porn's just free? And there's... There is a cost, but it comes at the end of your life 1285 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:46,520 when you go to hell for watching it. But it's so funny because like, I don't know if there's 1286 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:52,680 any way for them to be able to make it not free. At this point. Well, they started OnlyFans 1287 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,720 and that cost money. Yeah. It's confusing to me how you'd go on there. But somebody told 1288 00:46:56,720 --> 00:47:00,000 me it's because they like... It's more of like a stripper relationship where they like 1289 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:05,320 talk to you and it is personalized it to you. Yeah. It's for... Yeah. Yeah. Well, that sounds 1290 00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:10,520 even worse to me. Like, I don't want to... I prefer to just be in shame about this. I 1291 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:15,440 don't want to like walk away like I have a friend now. No, no, that's the lamest thing. 1292 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:20,360 That's for like really lonely people. But people are making tons of money on it, right? Yeah. 1293 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:24,560 Yeah. There's a lot of lonely people. Dude, we're fucked. Especially... Our whole society. 1294 00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:29,480 Probably the next... The COVID generation, the ones that grew up with masks and being 1295 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:35,000 separated from people. And a nose on their forehead from the radiation. Well, that's 1296 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:41,480 mostly Pittsburgh. All the Pittsburgh comedy scene. Yeah. Arm Pittsburgh. Yeah. Arm Pittsburgh. 1297 00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:48,840 I love you guys, but you guys are gross. Pittsburgh. Yeah. What's wrong with you guys? You guys 1298 00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:53,720 were born out of sludge. Yeah. The Pittsburgh comedy scene. Like the fucking Lord of the 1299 00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:58,120 Rings monsters. Yeah. It's one of my favorite comedy scenes. But yeah, they're definitely 1300 00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:03,520 pulled out of the dirt when they were born. They've got the tooth and a tooth. They have 1301 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:09,400 a guy that can eat six hot dogs. Yeah. They have a... The guy, he's got teeth in his nose. 1302 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:14,840 Yeah. He can bite you with his nostril. They have a guy that's been to 50 halfway houses. 1303 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:20,720 Just 25 full houses. Yeah. Just a regular drug addict. Yeah. They have an old Jewish 1304 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:27,800 guy. And now in Philadelphia, like Pennsylvania is fucked. Oh, they have a mango man? In Philadelphia, 1305 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:31,560 they got those guys that just have open wounds because they've been doing that trank stuff 1306 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:36,760 where it makes it so your wounds don't heal. Have you seen this documentary on YouTube? 1307 00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:41,680 Wait, hold on. Where is this and what? Philadelphia. What are they doing? They're doing this drug 1308 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:47,800 called Trank, which is like a tranquilizer mixed with heroin. And... It's like an animal 1309 00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:53,160 tranquilizer. Yeah. But when you do it, you get sepsis in your tissues. Oh shit. So there's 1310 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:57,280 all these guys that just have open wounds and the guy's like, I clean it every day. 1311 00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,200 And it won't heal? And it won't heal because you have to go to a doctor and get it cut 1312 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:07,560 off because it's like, or sepsis, no, necrosis. I keep saying sepsis, necrosis. It gives you 1313 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:11,280 necrosis. That makes more sense. Which is basically the same thing a fucking spider 1314 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:16,600 bite like those brown reclusive spiders when they bite you. Because sepsis is when bacteria 1315 00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:22,000 gets in your bloodstream. That's your blood. Yeah. So like when I forgot my original surgery, 1316 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:31,560 when I had this like an anal abscess. Anal abscess? Yeah. What's his name? His name's 1317 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:39,600 Arab. Arab. Arab. Yeah. Basically, they're brushing me in the surgery room because they're 1318 00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:44,680 worried that if like, if it got worse, that I could get sepsis. So yeah, you get in my 1319 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:51,040 blood. My aunt died of sepsis. Really? Yeah. It's a yeah. Yeah. If you get like bad infections 1320 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:55,800 and stuff, you can get it. But this is necrosis, which is tissue death. It was like the ant, 1321 00:49:55,800 --> 00:50:03,320 the bug. Like yeah, my pet ant from my aunt farm got sepsis. That's sad, dude. I'm sorry. 1322 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:11,240 Went into septic shock. Yeah. There's all the little doctor ants around them wearing 1323 00:50:11,240 --> 00:50:17,800 their little white ant. So like Dr. Coats doing the surgery on my other aunt. I was 1324 00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:23,560 like, please save my aunt. You have a land hospital. Yeah. The ant hospital. Don't tell 1325 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:34,000 Obama about it. Drugs. Obama's favorite targets for drone strikes, weddings, hospitals, elementary 1326 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:40,880 schools. The funeral for the guy from the hospital. Yeah. He had so much fun with those. 1327 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:45,680 I think he did. I think he did the most drones of anybody. So they get these like what? Big 1328 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:51,360 scabs essentially that eat away at the skin. They get dead tissue. They have holes in them. 1329 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:55,720 They look like walking dead. They look like the monsters. Yeah. They're bleat. They're 1330 00:50:55,720 --> 00:51:01,240 like wounds all over their body and they die. They die if they don't get those things amputated 1331 00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:05,760 because it spreads. Yeah. They probably shouldn't do be doing that. Yeah. So OK. So there's 1332 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:09,160 a really cool documentary on what's wrong with YouTube. What's wrong with the state 1333 00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:14,320 of Pennsylvania? I don't know. It's fucked up. It might have something to do with the 1334 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:24,360 penny I put on the tracks in Ohio that flip that train. So in full train full of chemicals 1335 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:29,160 flipped. Yeah. I don't know. The Midwest is fucked. Yeah. So now it's Pennsylvania. The 1336 00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:34,440 Midwest. Almost the Midwest. It is Philadelphia. It counts as the East. Yeah. Pittsburgh is 1337 00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:39,800 like the only the only redeeming thing they have is the Liberty Bell. Yeah. And that's 1338 00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:45,600 broken. Yeah. That's broken to a big old crack in it. Yeah. Pennsylvania is a broken state. 1339 00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:52,840 They have everybody in Pittsburgh is and was born as a nuclear fucking mutant. Yeah. They're 1340 00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:59,200 nuclear mutant and everybody in Philadelphia has their skin is eating. Yeah. They're the 1341 00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:04,600 zombies. Yeah. They're like turning into zombies. I would love to see a battle between them. 1342 00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:11,680 It's probably going to happen. The zombies versus the mutants. Yeah. Philadelphia. That's 1343 00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:18,680 gonna be good. But I got to send you that shrink doc. You want to hear something that's 1344 00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:26,040 not like the Pennsylvania at all. Oh, it's new website. I found called Cool Steeper Club. 1345 00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:33,000 Oh, I love that website. Well, it's a it's a it's like a country club. So you pay a certain 1346 00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:38,680 amount a small amount per month. And guess what? What happens? Well, it's so you're the 1347 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:42,600 exclusive member. First of all, like it's prestigious. Oh, that's like if you tell someone 1348 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:47,040 like when you're high society, I'm in the Cool Steeper Club. Oh, yeah. Then they'll 1349 00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:51,880 be like, wow, they'll invite their table. You got a baby and then you get like power 1350 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:56,960 and power. It's not that quiet level. Oh, is it is it right below that? OK, OK. Yeah, 1351 00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:01,520 it's like the rich to the rich, but it's not like the I guess I guess it'd be level five 1352 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:06,080 of richness or level four of richness. Level five is when you get into the Hillary Clinton. 1353 00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:12,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can hang out with a level four of wealthy people, but you also 1354 00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:21,560 get tea. This is like drinking tea, not testosterone. You get these big packs of tea, a bunch of 1355 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:27,600 different flavors. They send you different flavors all the time. And it's like it's like 1356 00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:33,640 ice tea. You make ice tea. Yeah, it's cold brew. That's why it's cool steeper. Oh, yeah. 1357 00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:39,120 It's cold brew tea. You throw this thing in in in in as this pitcher with a filter in 1358 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:45,960 it thing and it overnight it makes a bunch of good tea. Yeah. And I drink out of plantation 1359 00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:51,160 when I'm sitting and watching. What do you watch on my rocking chair? What do you watch 1360 00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:57,800 at the plantation? You know, the porch. I'm just like, oh, man, this is so good and cool, 1361 00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:01,720 refreshing, cool, steeper club. And I'm just watching. You make it Arnold Palmer's and 1362 00:54:01,720 --> 00:54:08,960 I'm just watching. I should make it Arnold Palmer myself. Yeah. Oh, I mean, cool steeper 1363 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:14,080 club was founded in the seventeen hundred. So I would imagine that they probably did 1364 00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:21,720 it. They benefited from a slave trade. I'm guessing that if there's any tea grown, well, 1365 00:54:21,720 --> 00:54:27,520 the East India Trading Company. Oh, yeah. A lot of slaves came from them, too. How about 1366 00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:32,080 the British? They love tea and it's all because they fucked with India. Yeah. That's kind 1367 00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:36,200 of funny. Yeah. I mean, like all pretentious about their teas. But like, it's really just 1368 00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:41,600 like some shit they stole. Yeah. Well, that's the only like decent thing that they ended 1369 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:49,080 up keeping. Yeah. You know, and also the spices thing is played out. But he is good. It's 1370 00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:53,200 actually really good, especially when it's cool. I heard they also have good Indian food 1371 00:54:53,200 --> 00:55:02,120 in England. Yeah. But it's run by Indian people that like some of the best curry in the world. 1372 00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:07,600 But if you type in promo code bad comedy on cool steeper club dot com, you can get tea 1373 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:13,160 fresh from the East India Trading Company. And they got Kenyan black 25 percent off, 1374 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:18,680 25 percent off when you put that in, maybe even 30 or 40 percent. Maybe 10 percent is 1375 00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:24,720 25. Well, you got to check for yourself. Yeah. Cool. Steeper club dot com. Remember, this 1376 00:55:24,720 --> 00:55:29,640 make this is high society, folks. What do you think the rich people drink tea? Yeah. 1377 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:34,280 Yeah. Do you want to do it? Do you want to sit with them on the plantation? Yeah. And 1378 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:39,000 you do. Oh, while we're here, I want to say this on the free episode because people will 1379 00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:44,960 know like we did a promotion this month for I don't know if you call it a promotion. It's 1380 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:50,720 just we did it. It was a gift or a perk. Yeah. For our patrons where you could get a cameo 1381 00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:56,760 for me or Mac. So I finally did the ones that came in and I sent them out. So if you did 1382 00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:03,360 one year, I emailed it to you. Nobody selected. Nobody selected me. Yeah. You. Marsh did. 1383 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:08,320 Yeah. So anyway, if you wanted to join, I think you still have time. I think May 1st 1384 00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:13,400 I put was the end date of the. Yeah. So if you want a cameo like you could say for me 1385 00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:18,280 or like cuss out your sister. And today I cussed out a guy's sister. It was kind of 1386 00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:22,920 fun. Really? Yeah. You want me or Mac to cuss somebody out in your name? Zeke Zuggler. You 1387 00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:27,800 can send a video to them of me being like, hey, I think your ass is too fat. You know, 1388 00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:32,520 the treadmill bitch. Zeke Zuggler didn't request you, did he? No, no. He didn't. He didn't 1389 00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:36,680 write in yet. Did Ruari Song request you? No, neither of them. I think they're mine. Those 1390 00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:42,720 are mine. They haven't written in. Those are my fans. Tell them to hit up the. Hey, I'll 1391 00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:47,600 share the form again on Patreon so people can try again. Guys, just so you know, every 1392 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:53,320 once in a while I drop an Easter egg for a free month of Patreon. And a lot of you guys 1393 00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:58,440 missed out on it because it was after I was rambling on my own on one episode. Adam Urbanski 1394 00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:02,880 got it. I just want to remind you. Shout out to Adam Urbanski, but it'll only be every 1395 00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:07,840 once in a while that I'll do it. You never know. It could be every week. It could be. 1396 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:13,080 But whenever I do those, it ends after one week. Did I tell you Adam Urbanski came over 1397 00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:19,760 to my place? Yes, at six. No, he did the ants. Oh, he's an exterminator. Oh, he helps with 1398 00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:25,720 the ant hospital. He put poison all around. He kills all the ants. He killed all the ants. 1399 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:34,440 With the wild dance. Oh, did he give your aunt sepsis? No, I died from sepsis. Remember? 1400 00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:40,640 That might be why. And Urbanski killed my aunt. Yeah, Adam Urbanski is kind of fucked 1401 00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:45,240 up. Now remembering that there's a real person I'm talking about. I think I like it. I think 1402 00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:56,240 I like Adam Urbanski again. Nice. Oh, by the way, comedy gazelle. Ooh, you are Jerry 1403 00:57:56,240 --> 00:58:02,680 Hamidi. Yeah, I'm talking to Jerry Hamidi, mainly Jerry Hamid, nothing against the rest 1404 00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:08,720 of the comedy gazelle. But Jerry, people at the gazelle, we respect you. But Jerry, we 1405 00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:12,560 got to beef. Yeah, I know there's a lot of a lot of people in the gazelle. It's a huge 1406 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:18,440 organization. I got beef with the founder and creator, Jerry Hamidi, because Jerry Hamidi 1407 00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:27,320 promised Bad Comedy Podcast that we would be featured in in an issue of the magazine 1408 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:35,160 if we won the award two years in a row and we won the award two years in a row. And I 1409 00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,880 never got a date from you, Jerry. I called you. You kind of said you were busy. Dismissed 1410 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:46,880 me. Wow. So Jerry, you now have 24 hours from when you're seeing this to give us a date. 1411 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:53,520 How will we know when he sees it? I want to post it as a clip. OK, or else I am turning 1412 00:58:53,520 --> 00:58:59,080 against the comedy gazelle. I put my life on the line for the comedy gazelle just to 1413 00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:05,560 be left on read. Jerry, don't don't make the wrong decision. You know what happens when 1414 00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:09,320 you cross the bad boy? I could put him out of business. I'll start something called the 1415 00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:15,040 comedy brassiere. Yeah. And it would be like a comedian's wearing bras. Just make one called 1416 00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:20,400 the comedy gazette and just make it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll make the comedy newspaper. Yeah. 1417 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:24,200 I mean, we'll just make a newspaper that'll be better than yours. And I'll just crush 1418 00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:28,360 you on. Yeah, we'll crush you on line, bitch. Well, I'm going to crush you individually. 1419 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:32,760 Message all your followers because you're an Instagram thing. Yeah. And we'll say that 1420 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:38,240 you say that you're a pure. We'll tell them the truth. But yeah, we'll tell them that 1421 00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:45,080 you're kind of like your Persian. That's the word. Yeah. So that is so weird that the Persians 1422 00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:50,280 run the media here. Yeah. The comedy media. They run the media. They book all the shows. 1423 00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:57,480 That's Sahar and Jamie Masada. That's wild. The Persian comedy cabal. Yeah. The Persian 1424 00:59:57,480 --> 01:00:06,400 comedy cabal cabal Harris. Oh, we hit an hour. How about Xerxes Xerxes? I like Xerxes. He's 1425 01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:14,360 running the Xenia's. Yeah, I think what if the Persians run Birdhouse out of town because 1426 01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:20,280 he's the only non-Persian Birdhouse is gone, isn't he? I don't know. We're talking about 1427 01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:25,120 Burt Haas. Everyone that's the founder of Xenia's. I think Birdhouse is like a T-shirt you'd wear 1428 01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:30,080 in the 90s. I think I think I think I think Bird skateboarding. I know. Yeah, that was 1429 01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:35,920 good. That was cool. Actually, it was super cool. World Industries, World Industries. My 1430 01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:40,640 first skateboard I ever had was World Industries. Yeah. And that one was a water guy and the 1431 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:46,720 fire guy. Right? Yep. There's like a little water deck like that. Yeah. And also Spitfire. 1432 01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:51,220 There's Spitfire Fire guy. Yeah. A lot of fire guys. Yeah. My older brother gave me all his 1433 01:00:51,220 --> 01:00:55,520 old T-shirts. I had a bunch of skate shirts. I'm I started one of them. I had had a handgun 1434 01:00:55,520 --> 01:01:00,240 on it and I wore it to school and then I drew it as a part of a picture in our class and 1435 01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:03,800 the teacher said I had to erase it. Really? Because I was I guess I could wear a shirt 1436 01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:11,480 with a handgun on it, but I couldn't draw a handgun. Also, why didn't my parents step 1437 01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:16,280 in on that? I was in the fifth grade. I've come to school with a handgun on my shirt. 1438 01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:22,080 I don't know. People didn't care as much back then. No, I guess not. People always forget 1439 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:31,440 that times change as events happen. Yeah. No. So I'll I'll I'll I have a gun on my shirt. 1440 01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:39,560 Yeah, you do. I went to school with a gun taped to my shirt and I was like, what? I 1441 01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:44,600 can't wear this? It's free speech. You know? Oh, now that I think about it, it might have 1442 01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:48,880 been that you ever see that picture of a gun that was backwards like it looks like the 1443 01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:54,520 hand triggers pointing this way, but the gun points back at the guy. No, it's like a suicide 1444 01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:59,900 gun. Oh, I think I have seen that. Yeah, it might have been that picture, which is even 1445 01:01:59,900 --> 01:02:05,680 crazier to wear. Yeah. Well, one last thing I never got to finish saying is, you know 1446 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:09,880 that I have a lot of political ambitions, so I finally decide what I'm going to do. 1447 01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:16,000 I'm going to run for treasurer, a Cook County treasurer against that bitch with the fancy 1448 01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:19,600 jackets. Yeah, I'm going to run as a Democrat. I'm going to run as a Democrat. You know, 1449 01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:23,600 the only way you're going to win is if you up your fit game to compete with her. I'm 1450 01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:26,600 going to have to compete with her on her level. No, I'm going to have to get the tightest 1451 01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:30,520 fits. I'm going to do the opposite. You have to get Gucci bags. I'm going to run as a Democrat. 1452 01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:35,000 I'm going to pander so much as a Democrat. And then once I get in office, I'm going to 1453 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:40,920 completely flip the script. And I hope this clip doesn't get out. And then I'm going to 1454 01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:47,400 be the most conservative treasurer we've ever had. I'm going to drop property taxes. I'm 1455 01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:53,360 going to make the budget work. You're going to kill homeless people. Yeah. I think that's 1456 01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:57,120 the move for being the most conservative person. Well, probably just you're going to close 1457 01:02:57,120 --> 01:03:03,200 mental hospitals, mentally ill people out on the street. Well, no, I said you said you're 1458 01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:07,280 going to be conservative. Let's go. Well, listen, I'm saying let's go. I'm not yelling. 1459 01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:12,080 I'm going to relocate them. Let's I'm going to send them food stamps. I'm going to do 1460 01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:19,120 kind of like what what they the Texas governor did. He would fly immigrants to the places 1461 01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:24,400 that were like pro open border. This is what I'm dealing with. So you just fly them in 1462 01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:28,600 planes and just leave them in like New York. I believe that was an amazing racist sketch. 1463 01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:33,320 Now he gets a bunch of people in the back of a truck and drives them somewhere. Oh, no. 1464 01:03:33,320 --> 01:03:38,120 Thanks. It gets back to Mexico. No, but no. Texas governor really did this. Yeah. He would 1465 01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:43,600 fly planes of illegal immigrants to states of governors that were like, no, the border 1466 01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:47,880 needs to be like open. And he's like, OK, here, see what it's like. That seems good. 1467 01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:53,560 Look, but what I'm going to do, I think is also an amazing racist sketch. Yeah, it is. 1468 01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:58,760 But it's the opposite because he's flying them up north, not turning them into ice. 1469 01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:04,600 Right, right, right. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to close down the mental hospitals. 1470 01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:10,360 Yeah. Fly them to I got an idea for you. Fly them to San Francisco and then all the poor 1471 01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:16,280 people fly them to San Francisco, maybe Portland. I'm going to fly them to Portland as punishment 1472 01:04:16,280 --> 01:04:21,680 for taking down 10 years. Can we put them on a bus? Yes. Yeah. Put them on a bunch of 1473 01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:27,080 short buses. Well, the people that I'm thinking like a Greyhound or a megabus sort of situation. 1474 01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:32,720 I'm thinking the people at the insane asylum. Let's poor people love megabus. Yeah. We'll 1475 01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:37,960 put all the poor people on a megabus to Portland as as revenge for taking on the Teddy Roosevelt 1476 01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:43,400 statue. OK. And then, yeah, all the mental people. You want to take down all these bearded 1477 01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:47,520 guys statues will send you a bunch of bearded guy homeless exactly. And then we'll put all 1478 01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:54,040 the mental people in short buses up there. I got an idea for you. Yeah. To encourage 1479 01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:59,320 like more traditional families, I think we should cut food stamps for single moms. So 1480 01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:05,320 they have to get married. Yes. They got married. More nuclear family. Yeah. You want food. You 1481 01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:08,640 want to keep your food stamps. You better marry your somebody. What do they call it? You better 1482 01:05:08,640 --> 01:05:12,480 marry a guy. They shouldn't call it a nuclear family. Yeah. It sounds like something that's 1483 01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:20,120 that sounds bound to explode. Scary. Not do well. Right. But we've done over an hour. 1484 01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:25,280 We don't know if our guests are here or not. So why haven't they buzzed? I don't know. 1485 01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:29,840 Maybe they're not here. All right. But folks, we love you. Remember, Patreon dot com slash 1486 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:35,560 bad comedy. I'm sorry if we sounded smart earlier. That was a bit. Yeah, it was just 1487 01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:40,640 a joke. We were actually dumb. Really, really dumb. We don't know anything about history 1488 01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:47,120 or philosophy or anything. But I do know the answer to any every existential question. 1489 01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:53,520 So if you want to ask me anything, I know the answer. I was the mystic who told Socrates 1490 01:05:53,520 --> 01:06:00,400 that he was the all knowing Oracle. Yeah. Yeah. It was the Oracle. I was the Oracle. 1491 01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:06,140 The Oracle Adelphi. You're the poor cool. You're the poor cool. Hey, yeah, it was or Delphi 1492 01:06:06,140 --> 01:06:13,880 dolphin. All right, folks are dolphins. It was kind of at cool Jason Melton, Jason Melton, 1493 01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:20,560 Twitch Jason Melton, Jason Melton, comedy dot com Jason Melton, comedy dot com. I haven't 1494 01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:23,920 updated in a while, but you watch some videos of me or find my social media through their 1495 01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:28,360 discord. He doesn't know what it is. I have a discord. It's cool. Jason Melton, cool Jason 1496 01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:35,800 Melton. OK, I'm at bad comment. Oh, shit. I'm at bad boy of comedy on all platforms. Every 1497 01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:43,040 single one, even I think truth, truth, the truth app. I am not the Trump one loose ski. 1498 01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:57,640 I'm on blue sky. Find Jason at cool Jason Melton on Grindr. I'm on Grindr BFF. No. And 1499 01:06:57,640 --> 01:07:02,720 obviously, catch me at every comedy club in Chicago headlining most weekends. And that's 1500 01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:07,320 about it, folks. Thanks for coming on, Jason. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming on 1501 01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:14,120 Mac. Thank you. You're welcome, Mac. And we'll catch you next week. We got a really exciting 1502 01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:21,080 episode next next week. And on Wednesday, we have an extra special one, but then another 1503 01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:26,280 special one after that. And then two times per week, we have a special episode. Join 1504 01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:31,360 our Patreon. Get a cameo before it's too late. Yeah, you actually you get basically this 1505 01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:34,760 is this comes out a little later. So extend the cameo thing for like another couple of 1506 01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:41,480 weeks. So people let's say may like mid may may no Cinco de Mayo, May 5th. OK, you got 1507 01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:48,320 to make they got about a week. They go over a week. Perfect time to get a Cinco de Mayo 1508 01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:53,540 cameo so we can say happy Cinco de Mayo. If you're if you're Hispanic and you join on 1509 01:07:53,540 --> 01:07:59,600 Cinco de Mayo, I will refund your first month. How about you? Tequila refund your shot of 1510 01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:08,120 Tequila. Sorry if you're a current Hispanic patron, but you're cool. But this is for bring 1511 01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:12,080 your friends on. We'll get you a survey. So yeah, we'll get you a survey. So next time 1512 01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:17,720 we see you. But tell all of you, I know Hispanics, they roll deep. You know, they they got a 1513 01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:23,280 lot of friends and family. They roll deep. So tell your pals to listen and they can job, 1514 01:08:23,280 --> 01:08:30,960 job, job at all of our jobs. So they are if they become between right now when I'm saying 1515 01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:44,320 this publicly Tuesday, April 20th, 30th. I don't know what it is. If you join before 1516 01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:49,880 midnight on Cinco de Mayo and you're Hispanic, then you get your first month free. And that's 1517 01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:54,400 it, folks. We love you guys and we'll catch you when the moon is surrounding the Saturn 1518 01:08:54,400 --> 01:09:21,440 rings, when it's navigating the Saturn rings. All right. Bye.