1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,520 Hey everybody, welcome to bad comedy pack. Yes, my name's Paz and I'm here with Jason. 2 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:16,200 Hey, what's up? Is Jason the cowboy? I forgot my cowboy hat. So I need to turn my volume 3 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:22,800 up. What's up, folks? Hey, I did want to I just was tough. I wanted to say that I forgot 4 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:29,040 it all. What do you get? I got something I want to say to you. What? I think my life 5 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:35,200 I was meant for more. Like what you ever feel like you're meant for more? I do like that 6 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:44,520 song. We were meant to live so much more. I like that song. Remember the Titans? Yeah. 7 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:48,480 What do you what do you think you supposed to have been doing? I think I should be famous 8 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:54,160 and rich. That's how I've always felt my whole life. Like I was the main character. Mm hmm. 9 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,040 But you have main character energy. Yeah, I always felt like I was the main guy and I 10 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:02,080 have big dick energy. When I was a kid, I used to think that flies were little cameras. 11 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:10,400 Really? Yeah, bugs. Yeah, not flies. House flies. Yeah. And I would think and we had 12 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:15,920 a lot of flies in my house. So I definitely thought they were getting us. And I was like, 13 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,560 how do they know the weather the day before, you know, on the weather channel? Yeah, it's 14 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:23,040 because it's the Truman show. I thought I was living in the Truman show. Oh, really? 15 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:28,640 Yeah, for like a month. I've had moments. I think I think a lot of people have moments 16 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:33,280 where if they've seen Truman show that was before I saw the Truman show. Oh, yeah. Well, 17 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:39,560 the movie the Truman show, I'm sure has been has given a lot of people PTSD from watching 18 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:43,480 that because people think especially when I reveal to them that I've been an actor their 19 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,960 whole life. Yeah, I was hired on the Truman show just to be their friend. I actually like 20 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,600 them thinking about how many people's paranoid personality disorder just kicked in at that 21 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:57,040 point. That's what it started. I've had a paranoia from like, like I was going through 22 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,960 a breakup and I was really depressed and I started to get paranoid. And I made this 23 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:05,240 friend who was an actor and I thought she was hired by my ex-girlfriend to be my friend 24 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:10,560 and like keep tabs on me. That's like, it was weird that she was an actor. Well, neuro hires 25 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:15,600 me actually to fill me. Oh, yeah. That's why we have the podcast. Yeah. So it's so that 26 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:21,960 so she likes to go shopping on Saturdays with your credit card. Oh my God, is that what's 27 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,240 been happening to all my money? She goes shopping with your credit card on Saturdays all day 28 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:31,360 at the mall and she wants me to keep an eye on you. So that bitch. Yeah. And she makes 29 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:37,600 me prove it by doing the camera. The way you don't get paid if you don't do it. Yeah. 30 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:42,960 Pretty clever. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She actually gave me this, this sound board that broke, 31 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:48,200 but I fixed it. Oh, that's so generous of her. I guess I gave it to you then. She's 32 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:53,120 my credit card. Guys, this is going to be a short episode. I spent two hours disassembling 33 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,920 my roadcaster pro two and putting it back together. I know how to do everything, but 34 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:02,200 we're still going to give you some, some podcasting. We go to patreon.com slash bad 35 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,720 comedy for the real podcast. That's the real deal. This is the practice one. Yeah. This 36 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:12,600 is where we practice, do ads. We're getting warmed up for Patreon. Yeah. Cause once we 37 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:19,880 get to Patreon, we are on fire. We're in a fever pitch. Yeah. We're smoking. Yeah. 38 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:28,840 So tell me more. What do you think you should have been? Oh yeah. I'm good setup. Well, 39 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:35,600 I always felt like I was meant to be rich and famous. And I always think so my theory 40 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:42,760 is that, that, um, I could just tell that I should be more important than I am. Yeah. 41 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,880 And my theory is that somebody from the past went to the future and stole my invention 42 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:52,800 idea and then they invented into the past. So they got all the fame. He goes Bob Keen. 43 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:58,720 No, cause he's from my life. I think it's something from like a long time ago. They 44 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:04,960 did a like a time travel and they saw and they stole my invention of like the nun chucks 45 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:09,480 or something. I invented the nun chucks or Ben Franklin. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe I invented 46 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:17,160 like a irrigation. Maybe it's Al Gore. Maybe. Yeah. Well, what if it's Charles Babbage? 47 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,840 Charles Babbage might have stole my idea for the computer. What the hell? I hope not. Cause 48 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:25,040 I like Charles Babbage. And I would make me strongly reconsider my liking of him. So you 49 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:30,240 know how I never write down any of my funny thoughts and write jokes because of that? 50 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:35,800 Yeah. That means I forgot better jokes that you even thought of. Yeah. Yeah. That's not 51 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:41,440 true though. I think of the funniest shit of all time. You can ask Michael Robinson. 52 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,120 It's the funniest stuff ever. It's stuff I just say around the house. Yeah. It's so funny. 53 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,480 Yeah. But I don't I'm really funny when I'm alone too. And I'm just like talking to the 54 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:53,560 cat. I'll like yo, what's up Cran. But it's a good one for you today. The reason I don't 55 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,280 write it down is because I don't want Dan to find it. Oh, yeah. I have to keep it in 56 00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:01,960 my head. But I have such short bad short term memory that I just lose it all. You think 57 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:06,120 that Dan is going from the past to steal your jokes in the future? Well, no, Dan, I think 58 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:10,680 at night time breaks into my house and like, oh, he's just doing straight up fever looks 59 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:15,960 for my notes. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he stole your gun. That'd be weird. It's like I was 60 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:21,120 the guy before I said they them before I started comedy. They they them new. I would also be 61 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:27,360 weird if there was a non binary person with a gun. Yeah. My brother was talking about 62 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:35,040 how we wanted to start a thing that's like gays with guns. Oh, your brother's game. 63 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:42,320 That makes sense. I was picturing a dot gay guy starting that group. Yeah. Like why? Because 64 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:46,400 gay people for the most part are all like liberals. So with that comes the gun thing. 65 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:52,600 I'm how they suffer from Dylan and Katelyn Jenner. Yeah. Well, Tim Dylan used to be 66 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:59,840 the only LGBTs that are yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And thank God. Yeah. There's probably a few 67 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:06,480 more. Oh, my little enopolis condolese rice. She's trying to try to hiccup in his dad. 68 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,640 Oh yeah. They're gay. Yep. I found a picture on the news guys. It's John Hickok and his 69 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:16,760 dad at the 2015 Gay Pride Festival. And his dad has a shirt on this is make America gay 70 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:25,360 again. So canceled cancel those motherfuckers. Yeah. For being gay. I bet I bet they I bet 71 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,160 John looks gay and leather, you know, like I bet he would like to wear leather, but he 72 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:34,240 looks too gay. He wants to be a leather daddy. So bad. Yeah, you look like the guy from that 73 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:39,960 band who wore leather and was gay. Yeah. You know, talking about breaking the law breaking 74 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,240 the law, Judas Priest, Judas Priest. That's right. That guy was gay, right? Oh, yeah. 75 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:52,160 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Were they all gay? I don't know. Who is gay or Judas to the priest? Judas 76 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,720 was pretty gay when he told on Jesus. Yeah, that was a good that was a good thing to do 77 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,840 with him. Yeah. Like that was one of the gayest thing. Those other apostles better beat his 78 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:09,760 ass. Yeah. Shout out to Jesus. I'm trying to see if I have any notes. Oh, um, so so Michael 79 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:17,760 Robinson's back, everybody. I had a tie up in my closet for about 30 days. But he's 80 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:23,840 dude. Did you have anal sex with him? Mm hmm. Every day. Every day was torture. Yeah. Wow. 81 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:31,480 Yeah. That's what you get. Yeah. No, but he's doing a 12 set program, you know. Oh, 82 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,520 wow. That's pretty anonymous when you just say his full name and that he's doing it. 83 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:40,160 He definitely has definitely anonymous of him. Yeah. And now that we announced it on our 84 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:45,760 free episode on YouTube, just that he's doing it. Super anonymous. He's I mean, you can 85 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,680 say that he's doing it and he tells people he's doing it. He can't say what other people 86 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:54,480 say or anybody else's names. And I'm I don't know anybody else's names either. I dated 87 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,960 a few people who did were in AA and they would say, um, I'm not allowed to say I'm an AA. 88 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,560 They say I'm doing a 12 step program. Yeah. That's how they would do it. Okay. Well, I 89 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:08,960 was gonna, this is gonna lead to the 12 set program. Um, so I was, I was, I was, I was 90 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:13,480 like, is a 12 step program. I know, but I was gonna lead into the 12 step program, but 91 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:20,480 I'm so good. I did it in 10. Well, you know what step six is? Uh, sucking your sponsors. 92 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:33,560 No, no, no. Oh, sorry. Um, step six is a drink a fifth of vodka. And the step seven is 93 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:43,080 not. Oh, so you read ahead. Yeah. And then step eight is, uh, you go back to level one. 94 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:46,640 Oh, nice. Try again. It's like shoots and ladders. Oh yeah. Well, they want to make 95 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:53,200 sure that you, uh, that you get one through five really down. So most people have to 96 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:58,920 relapse ruin their life again. Yeah. So they can get through one through five again. Yeah. 97 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,360 They do the steps like over and over again. Cause that's, it's like, it doesn't make sense. 98 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,440 Like once you get done with the 12 steps, you stop going to AA and it's like, no, you're 99 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:11,000 just like, you're like, I think I'll do four again. You get to like, like a menu. You get 100 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:18,200 to pick and do them however you think you need. Yeah. What's number 12? I thought there was 101 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:26,040 only like level five. Those are steps. I guess not levels. Yeah. Um, friends of bill W. Yeah. 102 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:30,960 I don't know if you folks remember, or if you're a new person, but level five comedy 103 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:36,600 is the comedy that we do here at bad comedy. And it's the top level of comedy. So level 104 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:42,440 four, you get like Louis CK people like that. Yeah. The best of the best, the best of the 105 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:48,520 best in regular comedy or stand up. We're so funny that it's gone over the edge into 106 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:52,600 a different realm. Yeah. You jumped all the way over the rainbow. Yeah. It's, it's, it's 107 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:59,400 by far the funniest type of comedy. Yeah. And we, and we do that on Patreon. Yeah. Yeah. 108 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:04,200 Um, I wish the soundboard was working really bad. I want to use this over it. I have all 109 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:08,040 the time I was going into a liquor store to buy some liquor. I feel like I've told this 110 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,160 story I knew before, but there was a guy with red hair and a ponytail working at the liquor 111 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:16,760 store behind the counter. Red herring. He had red hair and a ponytail and a gun holstered 112 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:22,520 out the open. It was pretty sick. This was in Indiana. And there was like this little, 113 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,840 there was this like short little girl who was like clearly drunk already. And she was 114 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,800 buying a half gallon of like Bacardi rum and she was like wobbly and her belly was hanging 115 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:36,440 out a half gallon. You call it. You don't call it a handle. The handle to me is a fifth. 116 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,600 No, we call it a half gallon. I don't know where I grew up. That's what we called out. I don't 117 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:46,520 remember. I don't drink. We used to call it a half gallon. Yeah. So, uh, because there's 118 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:51,800 normally it's normally fifth leader and handle, which is a half gallon. Yeah. We used to just 119 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,560 call it a half gallon. I don't know why. Cause you want to see my group cool. And then we called 120 00:10:55,560 --> 00:11:02,920 it a 30 pack, not a 30 case. If you call it a 30 case, people get mad at you. What about 30 rack? 121 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,600 And that's fine too. Three racks. Cool. They came out with a beer called beer 30. 122 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:14,120 Yeah. That was cool. Really bad. Right. It's always beer 30 somewhere. Yeah. I used to drink this. 123 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:21,400 What time is it beer 30? I used to drink a lacrosse lager. It was called and no more. I 124 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:28,920 got to finish the story. Sorry. So this little girl who's good, half gallon 125 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:36,680 goes up to the counter already drunk and hey, what the hell? The guy behind the counter goes, 126 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:41,720 Hey, the other night when I was leaving, I saw somebody left their AA book in the parking lot. 127 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:48,520 Was that yours to the girl? And we were in line behind her. It was crazy. Yeah. And then when 128 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:55,160 we got up to the counter, the guy goes, she comes in here every day. That's pretty funny. Yeah. 129 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,600 It was pretty funny. Just be calling people out like, Hey, you got a fucking problem. 130 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:05,640 I've been going to a meetings and filming them. Oh, yeah. For a documentary I'm putting out. 131 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:11,640 Well, I've said secretly filming. I've been trying. I just want to put out, you know, the stories of 132 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:16,360 and then I'll put their names. I'll put their names in the video to give them credit and everything. 133 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,640 You know, obviously, their addresses and phone numbers. Exactly. Because I've been doing it. 134 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,520 I just want everyone to know how brave they are. I've been doing a similar thing. I've been going 135 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:29,080 to a meetings and writing out all the details of their stories so I could try and solve unsolved 136 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:39,320 crimes that they got away with. Yeah. I'm like a Sherlock Holmes kind of guy. I go there and I 137 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:45,560 bring a bottle of vodka and just sit in the back of drink. Yeah. And pass it around. 138 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:53,400 Like what's this? Yeah. This is good stuff. Well, I've actually been so I get paid to recruit 139 00:12:53,400 --> 00:13:00,440 people for AA. So it's an MLM. Yeah. Yeah. So I've been I've been actively working to 140 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:06,440 turn people into alcoholics. So like I've been doing a lot of peer pressure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm 141 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:12,040 like take a shot. Take a shot. You know, and then I'll convince people that I'm drinking also. 142 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:18,600 But it's fake. It's fake. Yeah. You have water. Yeah. I've said it's vodka. That's water. Dude, 143 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:25,400 that's such a cult move. Yeah. People actually, I think at one point we're saying that AA is a cult 144 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:30,520 or like the whole 12 step program. Yeah. But people say that like anything where there's like a 145 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:37,800 lot of common people doing the same thing and right that it is a cult. Well, the difference is 146 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:43,720 a cult is a high control. They call it it's a high control group. Yeah. So usually it's only a 147 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,720 cult like you could be in a religion. But if you're in a religion where you have to give them all 148 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,760 your money and like yeah, report to them and let the guy fuck your wife like that's high control. 149 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,760 Yeah. You don't have any control over your life. Right. Right. That's what makes it a cult. I don't 150 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:02,280 think AA has that. It doesn't. And I mean, it has almost no control because most of the people 151 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:06,520 just fucking drop out and start drinking again. Well, yeah, I mean, it all depends on what's 152 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:12,920 voluntary, I guess, and not voluntary. I think the purpose AA is when you quit drinking, you lose 153 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:17,560 all your drinking friends and you need new friends. Kind of. I really think that that's the main thing. 154 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,680 And then they give you the 12 steps. So you have something to work on together because you have 155 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:26,040 nothing in common. These AA meetings is the most random assortment of motherfuckers. I used to go, 156 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,280 I dated a girl in Indie when I was living in Indiana, who was an AA. So I went to like open 157 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:37,480 meetings. Was Indiana and after the Indians? Yeah, it was named after. Yeah. Engine Joe. 158 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,720 Yeah. Denition. Good Patel. Yeah. 159 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:47,080 It's named after Gandhi. It was named after Gandhi. You've never been to Gandhi, Indiana. 160 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,680 Yeah. It's right over the border. And of course, Gary, Gary hasn't been in the murder capital in 161 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:59,320 a while. I don't think so. Hasn't yet. Not even top five. I don't even know where I don't know 162 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:03,800 when they'll fill off Chicago's steady top five. New York City. No, it's not. Yeah. Chicago is 163 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:09,080 not a cap. But no, it's not. I doubt it. I don't have my phone. I can't look it up. I looked up 164 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:15,240 23 and when I was in college, Chicago was never even in the top 10. So like if that's if that's 165 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:20,280 true, that's new, not per capita New York City is not in the top 10. No, no per capita. No way. 166 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:23,960 They have too many people who are not getting murdered. They have a lot of murders, which makes 167 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:28,200 it seem like it. But then if you look at per capita, it's never up. I'd imagine there's a 168 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:34,360 minimum population of their studies. What's that mean? The city's size. Maybe I don't know. 169 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:40,040 Probably because Gary is tiny. Yeah, it just had a huge per capita. Right. Because there could 170 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,560 be a thousand people that live there and 10 murders. And yeah, then that's all of a sudden 171 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:52,040 like one percent of the population. Yeah, I think the list I was looking at was the bigger cities. 172 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:56,520 If you're looking at just like number of murders, but Chicago Gary wouldn't be in there anymore. 173 00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:02,120 I don't think I think last year is Memphis, Tena key. Memphis is usually up there. Yeah, 174 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:08,600 Houston, Detroit, Detroit, New Orleans, really New Orleans. Yeah, that's where the little wanes 175 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,600 from. I know, but it's like it doesn't feel like that crazy. There's some weird parts. Well, 176 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,520 they don't all hang out in the French Quarter with the gypsies and the I would the fortune 177 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:23,320 tellers how I was staying at comedians houses. So I wasn't staying in the nice parts when I was 178 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:28,280 whenever I was there. Yeah, I was crashing on coaches. I don't think Atlanta wasn't the top 179 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,480 five or 10 of either. But there's so many black people there. 180 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,480 You would think, huh? Yeah, because there's such a murderous race. 181 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:45,800 I mean, I'm DC. No, but what I'm saying is that that proves that there's no, 182 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:51,560 there's no causation or correlation between the two. I guess. So I was, I was, 183 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,600 maybe it's the exception that proves the rule. Have you heard this phrase? The exception that 184 00:16:54,600 --> 00:17:00,920 proves the rule? I was talking about this with Dan. I was like, doesn't the exception disprove the 185 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:07,320 rule? How does the exception prove the rule? It sounds like a trick that you're playing at 186 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:13,000 somebody. So it's, if there's one exception, then it just proves the other. Well, how do you know 187 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,480 how many exceptions there are until you like find them all? I don't know the exception that proves 188 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,240 the rule. I hate that phrase. I don't even know because I prefer the exception that disproves. 189 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:25,400 It's like, it sounds like I came up with a good argument and then you go, no, your argument is 190 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:31,400 actually an argument for what I'm saying. Your good counter argument is actually proof that I'm 191 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:37,240 right. I got the exception that proves the rule. Yeah. I hear people say stuff like that. What 192 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:43,400 just stuff like that? Do you even know what I'm talking about? Yeah. They're like, yeah, your 193 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:49,000 idea is like mine. Oh yeah. I'm like, shut up. No, it's not. We're arguing. Dando Cimo hates it 194 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:56,600 when you're like, Hey, your idea is like mine. He gets that a lot. They get that a lot. God damn 195 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:04,360 it. I sucked you. I'm not a bad friend. We can say he only on days when they're they're feeling. 196 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:09,720 Yeah. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, did you know that only 1% of the population is trans? 197 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:15,160 Yeah. That's right. Only 1% of the population controls 99% of the gender dysphoria. 198 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,960 They're like the Jews are genders for you. 199 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:30,200 Yeah. No, it is a very, very small population for such a big deal on a lot of things. Oh, 200 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:39,480 the trans or the Jews are the transit and then the Jews. Yeah. In order. Yeah. I wonder if like 201 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:44,280 the black issues are probably more important. Have you ever heard this fact about Chicago that 202 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,360 we're the most segregated city? People always say that. Yeah, it's because of the neighborhoods 203 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:53,320 are very segregated. Yeah, like the highway divides the whole city between like white north of the 204 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:59,560 highway and black south of the and yeah. Hispanic, Hispanic, yeah, but Puerto Rican right over here, 205 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:06,120 little village of Mexican, you know, it's Polish neighborhoods. There's regular just like 206 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:11,640 junior has that joke about there's gay and lesbian neighborhoods. And then there's even 207 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,800 a divide between gay and lesbian called Boys Town. You know, it's joke. I don't want to, 208 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:20,040 I'm going to ruin it right now. I don't care. He goes, that means like if some gay guys tried to 209 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,320 move or some lesbians tried to move to Boys Town, there'd be some gay guys who go up to and be like, 210 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,040 Hey, I don't need you lesbians moving in here and ruining our gay neighborhood. 211 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:35,960 My dad didn't suck dick in his neighborhood for 20 years so that you could come here. 212 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:43,320 Take all our lawn mower fixing jobs. I guess, I guess it. So I think, I think they wanted to 213 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:46,680 change the name from women wanted to change the name obviously because women are like, 214 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:53,240 I want to change this and includes girls, but to girls town. No, they change it to something else. 215 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:58,680 Oh yeah. Yeah. Boys Town is called something else. Yeah. But we call Boys Town. Yeah, 216 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,920 that's where that's where the boys go to hang out. You know, dude, it's not gay at all. But, 217 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,720 but, but the lesbians should like it because they act kind of like boys, you know, 218 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:14,840 yeah, like they're, they're more masculine. So they should like it. I bet it would think 219 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:19,240 I bet it's straight white women. They're wanted to change it. Well, there's lipstick lesbians. 220 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:25,000 Yeah, there are. There's lipstick lesbians and then, and then there's John Wayne, 221 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:31,320 Gacy clown makeup lesbians. Yeah. Then there's cargo short. Yeah. Katie Zane types. Yeah. 222 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:38,680 You gotta have, if you're, if you're not a lipstick lesbian, you gotta have at least two dogs, 223 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:45,560 big dogs. You gotta have a Subaru outback. Oh yeah. That's the car cargo shorts. Your hair 224 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:56,120 cannot be long. You gotta talk like, like, hey, what's up? How's it going? Yeah. 225 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:00,760 I saw Sam hide. He did. It's kind of like that. It's kind of like a Jodie Foster type of thing. 226 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:06,760 But for some reason, so many lesbians talk like that. Yeah. They're like, where's the 227 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:14,440 of Dr. Lecter? Where's the, you think the reason why so many lesbians talk to same 228 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:19,480 is Jodie Foster. There's some kind of gene that makes them gay. It also like fucks up their 229 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:23,960 way of talking. I think so. So we could remove this gene and get rid of those people. I know 230 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,760 somebody from high school, sort of like the X men when they're trying to get rid of the 231 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:35,240 mutant gene. Yeah. Are gay people mutants? No, yes. In a good way. Like superheroes. 232 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:41,640 Right. Like X men. Yeah. But there's bad X men. Well, they're not X men, though. 233 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,280 What are their mutants? Yeah, they're mutant villains. There's Magneto Magneto. Yeah. 234 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:53,080 Who's the Jewish mutant? You don't say about him and his powers. Neato. They're pretty cool. 235 00:21:53,080 --> 00:22:00,600 Magneto the Jewish. There's literally a scene where Magneto is a child in a concentration camp 236 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:06,040 and the Germans are like, they put out like a coin and they're like, control this with your powers. 237 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,920 He's his little Jewish boy. Control this quarter. Like make it move with your powers. Like, because 238 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:15,880 he could, you know, he can control metal. Yeah. But it's like, are we, are we all watching this 239 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:20,840 together? They're making a Jew, like pick up money with his magic powers. That is good. 240 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:29,640 I like this scene where he was in the jail that was like plastic or whatever. That shit rules. 241 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:34,840 But then there was a fork and then he turned it into a metal ball and then. Oh, you're forgetting 242 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:39,400 what happened. It's even better than that. Oh, it was inside of a guy. Mystique puts a lead. 243 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,760 He turned that closer to me. It's not really shining on me. I don't think. Mystique puts 244 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:47,800 lead in one of the guards blood. Oh, that's right. So he could sense it. 245 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:56,280 Oh, that's yeah. So, but that guy would have died. He did. No, I did die. No, I mean, 246 00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,040 he would have once they injected it into you, he would have died. Oh, it was in like a really 247 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:05,960 small amount or even if you inject like an air bubble in somewhat in like a IV that someone 248 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:11,560 dies. Well, maybe it was liquid lead. I can't do this. I don't know. That's good. That's good. 249 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:19,000 I don't know what I'm doing. That's good. Dr. Lector. I'm Jody Foster. Don't know where you got 250 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:26,920 to Dr. Magneto. I'm Jody Foster. I'm here from the FBI to talk to you. The Hannibal Lector. Yeah. 251 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:33,560 But all lesbian, all non-list, lipstick, lesbian stuff like that. Yeah. Hello. Hey, I work with 252 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,400 the show. Yeah, they talk like they're holding their nose. Yeah, but they talk about I work with 253 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:42,840 the shoe. I think after we stop at Home Depot, we can go home and I could eat your pussy. 254 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:50,360 Let's make sure to feed the elephant. Yeah, we have to get a giant bowl for our giant dog. 255 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:55,640 I got a Subaru. I got a Subaru out back. So it can fit the dogs. 256 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:02,680 That's funny because she was normal, not a serial killer, but everyone in that movie talks weird 257 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:09,880 because the killer's like, would you fuck me? I'm a weird talking guy too. Yeah, what's another 258 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:14,680 wait a minute? Was she a great big fat lady? What's another movie? That's the best fucking 259 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:19,080 scene in any movie ever. Yeah, we're talking about silence the lambs. Like, have you seen 260 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:24,040 this lady went missing and he says, no, I have. Wait a minute. She's a great big fat lady. 261 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:35,960 He's so cool. You know, I'm excited for what James Zajara special. I'm more, more excited than 262 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:42,040 Brian Rose special. Yeah. Yeah. How about he's a door in his name is James. Ajar. 263 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:52,360 Yeah. Yeah, I thought of something wildly genius. Oh, please. I love genius. Just so you guys, 264 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:57,160 the listeners know this is copyrighted. So you can't take this idea. So it's my idea about 265 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,640 time thieves. But yeah, go ahead. I've legally copyrighted it and trademarked it. So 266 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:08,600 so Willie Nelson in the song Highway Man, he says the bastards hung me in the spring of 25, 267 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:15,480 but I'm still alive. What the hell? How do you live through a hanging? He's dead though, 268 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:21,160 but he's like in heaven. So why do you say he's still alive if he's in heaven? He's alive there. 269 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:27,000 He's talking as a dead guy. Interesting. I'm in the clouds, but actually what I'm writing 270 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:31,720 is shrooms and Willie Nelson, the cloud turned into Willie Nelson. Really? Yeah. Well, that's 271 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,920 pretty. I've never had a vision like that. These were really strong shrooms. Or we took too much 272 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:42,200 or I don't know. Yeah. I had a ex-girlfriend. Hold on. Let me finish the best mushrooms. It 273 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,520 sucks when they go away. Yeah. Those like really good ones. Yeah. You just get them at one point 274 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:53,960 of your life. And then the cloud is William Nelson. Yeah. But so if he dies in the spring of 2025, 275 00:25:53,960 --> 00:26:01,400 he will have foretold his death. So you think this was happening? Yes. That's why I hope it 276 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:06,120 doesn't die by actually if he dies by hanging, that would be wild. Yeah. If he hangs himself in 277 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:09,400 the spring of 25, well, actually someone else will. He Nelson dies. I'm going to have to stay home for 278 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:15,480 like a week. I had to hide the giant smile on my face. Yeah. That's right. No, no, no. I don't 279 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:19,160 want anyone to see me smiling so big when they're mourning for Willie Nelson. Not for Willie, dude. 280 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:25,640 Come on. I don't know shit about that. Maybe for bean cub. Willie Nelson is the most beloved. But 281 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:30,280 yeah, tell me, tell me if you believe in God, then how come my prayers that Bob Keen dies 282 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:34,360 aren't working? That's true. If you believe in God, tell me why it by prayers aren't being answered. 283 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:42,440 I believe in, I believe in gosh, gosh darn it. Yeah. I believe in Osh gosh, be gosh. Oh yeah. 284 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:47,560 That's good. Josh, but I'm going to make t-shirts that have Willie Nelson's face. 285 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,800 I'm just going to say Willie Nelson and just going to say whatever year here is born in the 286 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:57,880 season till the spring of 25. And then say, but I'm still alive. Can I give you a suggestion? And 287 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:04,600 this is a free of charge. You don't have to give me any money or anything. Airbrush, airbrush, 288 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:12,440 Willie Nelson, like a rest in peace shirt. Like a black tea and a white tea airbrush, 289 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:18,840 Willie Nelson. I think he's listener base. It's mostly black people. Yeah. Don't you think that 290 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,680 once Willie Nelson dies, everyone's going to just start listening to rap? Well, he's, he's good. 291 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:27,560 He's good friends. Snoop Dogg. Yeah, they got the weed connection. So I'll be able to sell one. 292 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:32,200 They both like weed. Also feel so one of their brush ones. Imagine Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg 293 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,200 and they just can't talk about anything but weed because they have zero else in common. 294 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:46,280 They could talk about guns. They like guns. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, sure. Shotgun Willie. Shotgun Willie 295 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:54,120 sits around in his underwear. That was loud. Scared me. It's a scary sound. That's what 296 00:27:54,120 --> 00:28:01,080 sounds like in Chicago. Oh, wait, we got a spill of tea folks. That was a cash register. 297 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:07,880 Yeah, we got ads. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah. So we got a spill of tea. So every week we got a secret 298 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:14,600 for our sponsors. Cool. Steeper Club. This secret is James DeJar is filming a terrible 299 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:20,120 bad special. Probably. I think he's probably going around with some college students. Maybe 300 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:23,640 he's going to college. Do you think he's grooming? He seems like he would be in college. Do you 301 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:29,320 think he's grooming these college kids? He loves Crystal Lea. Of course he is James DeJar is 302 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:34,360 grooming college kids to follow him around and film him. He shows them how many followers he 303 00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:39,480 bought on TikToks to make him look credible, but he's really just grooming them to fly him out to 304 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:47,080 Epstein's Rhode Island. Yeah. Yeah. Epstein's Rhode Island. With the Rhode Island boys. 305 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:51,480 Yeah, he's going to well, and then he's going to fly him out in a biplane and then drop him off 306 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:57,400 in parachutes like drugs. Uh-huh. And then yeah. I just watched a Nick Cage movie with Lawrence 307 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,320 Fishburne where they dropped the drugs like that. Do you see that one? No, but there's a lot of 308 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:06,360 movies like that. I've been watching like every Nick Cage movie. He makes every movie good. The 309 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:10,840 movie could be anything. I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot of coma, but who knew I might just check 310 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:15,800 them all out. Any Nick Cage movie. I'm serious. Well, well, face off for a long time. Face off. 311 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:24,520 It's incredible. I mean, it's, it's one of my favorites. Okay. It might be my favorite. Face 312 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,520 off is level five, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Like the movie is like when you're watching it, you're 313 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:33,160 like, I cannot believe this is happening. I know. So it's not my favorite movie in terms of like a 314 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:37,400 good movie, but it's one of my favorite movies to watch. It's just objectively demands respect. 315 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,800 It's amazing. As you're watching it. What the fuck? And John Travolta's acting is so good. 316 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,840 He's going to be in jail for the next hundred. Yeah. But you know what? Like 317 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,120 when he's paired up with Nick Cage, that's like, it's like, that's par for the course. 318 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,640 Being over the top. I don't know. I think Nicholas Cage is a lot better at acting like 319 00:29:55,640 --> 00:30:02,920 John Travolta than John Travolta. That's true. That's true. John Travolta should stick to 320 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:09,160 Greece. Just keep doing the just just keep redoing the musical Greece. Yeah. He should stick to 321 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:15,240 Greece and his masseuses. Yeah. Jason is sticking to grabbing his masseuses, but as he walks past 322 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,560 yeah, Jason had a bunch of grease in his pocket. So it made his phone camera all greasy. Yeah. 323 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,880 He was fries. You think it would be food because I'm a big fat guy, but it's actually WD 40 324 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:28,920 because I've been huffing. Yeah. Yeah. You took a WD 40 to the head. I took a WD 40 to the head 325 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:35,000 like whoa. I'm going to take four uncrustable to the head like whoa. Take a phone. It's probably 326 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:40,520 here. It's here. Okay. Well, in the other room, we'll keep going. If you're going down to uncrustable 327 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:46,040 town, no, we'll go. I'll go down to uncrustable town in between. So we got to be fantastic guests 328 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:50,360 this week, but you can't catch it here. You got to catch on Patreon, but I spilled the tea folks. 329 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:56,360 That's because we're paired with cool steeper club. They deliver tea to your doorstep. All you got to 330 00:30:56,360 --> 00:31:03,000 do is it's how does it work? You just sign up online with our promo code bad comedy. You get 25 331 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:08,600 percent off and they'll send you a picture 25 25. I thought it was point two, five percent. No, 332 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:14,200 the whole time times a hundred 25. That's a hundred. Yeah. Two, five times a hundred and think about 333 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,040 all the interests on that. So that's basically a hundred percent. Yeah. A lot of interest. A lot of 334 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:22,760 good. That's a good, you get some points on that. That's like the opposite of inflation guys. Opposite. 335 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:28,040 Yeah. Deflation. Yeah. It's deflation. So it's basically a hundred percent off. That's how I feel 336 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:36,360 watching a Bob Keen said deflated. Yeah. But yeah, they send you a tea and a pitcher and a filter 337 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,960 thing. Yeah. And all you got to do is throw it. It's the easiest thing in the world. You put it 338 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:46,280 together, throw it in the fridge and let it overnight. It's steepers. It's steep. It's steep. 339 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:50,520 It's at a cool degree. Yeah. And it's like in the clear steeper club. That's what it means. Cool. 340 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:54,920 It's not. It's like sunglasses. They're motto, but they actually mean cool in the cold sense, 341 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:59,240 the temperature sense. That's right. And it's also it's like it's kind of like being in like a 342 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:04,360 country club when you're in the in the club. It's very like country club lemonade. Yeah. It's very 343 00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:10,440 classy. Yeah. So you're just like country club. Well, you're a part of something, you know, I 344 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,800 think they're here. Don't you want to be a part of something? Hey guys, how's that episode 345 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:19,800 steeper club dot com and a picture on comedy dot com and patreon dot com slash bad comedy. 346 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:27,720 Yeah. We'll do an update my website. We'll we'll probably do like two hours and like guest 347 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:33,720 episodes or just sign up for patreon dot com slash bad comedy. And then you can catch more there 348 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:41,080 because this is gonna be a good one, folks. We love you all. Bad boy comedy on everything. And 349 00:32:41,080 --> 00:33:04,440 we'll catch you in the sunshine.