Hello everybody, welcome to the Bad Comedy podcast.
I am Dan Dosimo from Japan.
I am cousins with James Dosimo, Chicago comedian.
He stole my name.
He still joke.
He dishonor our family.
And I have come to Chicago to cure the fake Dan Dosimo.
I am here with Winston Satanic Churchill.
Wow, hi.
Hail Satan.
Hi.
Hail Satan.
I don't know what kind of voice Winston Churchill had.
Hi.
Hi, I'm Winston Churchill.
No.
He's probably more like a, like, yeah, he's a wisecracker.
He'd do a lot of wisecrack jokes.
He'd be like a Mark Norman.
Wait, who else are we here with?
Of course we're here with.
Calvin and Robb's folks.
Oh, Calvin and Robb's.
You're all jokes.
You're here to rob Calvin Evans.
Give me all your jokes and parody songs.
Yeah.
All right, folks.
In normal fashion, we, I fucked up the first 10 minutes and we're just going to not talk
about the Super Bowl, but we'll talk about Timu.
No, we won't.
Shout out to Timu.
Shout out to me too.
Calvin and Hobbes.
Yeah, Timu.
Both made after philosophers.
Calvinists, the people who are Calvinists and Hobbes, Thomas Hobbes.
Timu, if you're listening, it sounds like a philosopher.
I've ever heard one.
If you're listening to Timu because you're the Chinese government and I know you are,
we would love to partner up with the CCP.
I mean, we would love to work with the CCP.
We'd love to work with the ICP.
We believe that Taiwan's part of China.
I believe that a violent J is part of the ICP.
Yeah.
That's from Timu.
See, we're communists and we got that from Timu.
Hell yeah, dude.
Shout out to workers, the work class.
We got these all through.
The hammer and sickle represent the working class, communism representing workers.
So in communism, everybody gets a hammer and sickle.
Yeah, and a pickle.
And then it's basically after that, it's you get to get your food in the gladiator
style.
Yeah, weighted line.
I used to think that when you were a communist is because you got hammered and ate a pickle.
Yeah.
I thought I was a communist for a long time because whenever I got hammered, I eat a
pickle.
It turns out I was a capitalist.
Oh yeah, I thought I was a communist because I got a degree in communications.
Oh, that's coming.
That's coming to communication.
Yeah, I come.
I was I was a communication.
I thought I was a communist because I've been eating so much cake lately.
I got I went to I majored in that was a was it that what do you call it King and Queen
setup?
I don't know.
Was it?
It was a quick.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But I think it was somebody invited me.
It doesn't matter.
Somebody.
I'm not our key.
I think that's a monarchy.
Uh-huh.
Somebody invited me to a chief Keith concert for free for free.
Yeah, but I said no.
Oh, I'm I'm too scared to go to rap concerts.
I want to step on anybody's shoes.
Yeah, beat up.
I thought I had made a bunch of money because I thought I put money on the chiefs to actually
put money on the chief keys.
Oh, no.
And he wasn't even in the Super Bowl.
I just kept all my money.
What was the OZ?
I believe it was like it was like infinity to zero to infinity to one.
I mean, it's pop.
That'd be awesome if chief Keith won the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Oh, and cool.
Performed.
Oh, single hand.
Dude, the halftime show is dope as fuck.
They had satanic rituals.
It was a ursher.
Ursher.
And then he brought on Luda Lil John.
Alicia Keys.
Did he do I want to leave the one I'm with and start a new relationship?
I don't know, but that's my favorite.
Lil John popped out in the middle of the crowd and he was like, yeah, it's sad what happened
to him.
Yeah, yeah.
State little.
Yeah, it's kind of a disease.
But you know, they prop up these people in the Super Bowl even so complain about it.
I saw a guy who he got texted.
He thought that he was going to perform at the Super Bowl.
They said, do you want to perform during the Super Bowl?
And so he started tweeting, oh my gosh, a shout out to my team.
That's awesome.
True.
And it turns out he just wouldn't be able to watch the Super Bowl.
So it reminds me of Jason Acevedo when he was like, I'm going to be a 480 United Center.
And then it turns out what he just wasn't, it was a lie.
Yeah.
We got it.
We got to get you some new tea.
That happened a while ago, didn't it?
Yeah, but it's a similar thing.
We got to make.
Yeah, I have plenty of new tea.
What else?
What you got?
This is a new segment called Max Tea.
Well, let me tell you about Colorado.
I was in Colorado.
OK.
I snowboarded for the first time in 12 years.
Is that why your hair is all iced back like that?
No, it's because I'm Japanese.
I'm Japanese.
I thought your hair became like that from the wind and the ice.
Yeah.
I mean, I was on Steamboat Colorado and you go up like 10,000 feet.
Hold on a second.
And you can't breathe up there.
You snowboarded on the Steamboat?
There was not one Steamboat in Steamboat.
And I was like, what's going on?
What's going on?
Yeah, I asked them.
Did you have any green chilies while you were there?
No, but Steamboat Springs.
What the hell?
I did go to the hot springs there.
So it's like cold outside, but hot in the water.
But I'll tell you, my dick was sore after that from getting big and small.
Every time you get out.
My dick got a great workout.
Not from fucking bitches, just from getting in and out of the hot springs.
Yeah.
You put something in the microwave and you came back and got a microwave it again.
Yeah.
And you put it up and cool it off.
It's not the same after.
The problem is if that actually makes your dick smaller, I think.
In the long run.
In the long run, yeah.
Because it gets small so many times.
That's nice.
Yeah.
But at least it might.
Or it might average out to being the same.
I think it's giving you some flexibility, you know.
But yeah, you take this scantle up like 10,000 feet and like you can't breathe because
they're so thin.
So like every breath you take is like a quarter of a breath of oxygen.
I did.
I went to Red Rocks once after sleeping in a part and I was doing stand up and Denver
and then I slept in a basement.
Oh, I saw a Denver because I flew in a Denver with cats all over my head.
I woke up with a cat in my head.
I'm allergic.
And then we went to Red Rock and I couldn't breathe.
I lost my breath for the longest amount of time I've ever lost my breath.
Dude, yeah.
And then like a down like a way there was like an Arab guy smoking a cigar.
I was like, what the fuck is going on?
I can't breathe and that guy's smoking a cigar.
With the altitude, it's weird that your lungs adjust just like over time to it because I
I said, I was hungover and had cat hour Jesus as well.
Well, me too on both days that I snowboard.
So I snowboarded one day.
You've been hanging out with some cats.
I couldn't breathe.
The second time I did it snowboard with cat in the hat.
What?
Yeah, actually, can the hats hat does look like a hat that a snowboarder would wear.
Yeah, it does.
Snowboarders are on water.
So I snowboard, but like the guys, I think they're cool.
They were like plaid like jackets and they have the fuck cool like neon goggles and
but they have cool words.
What was the word you said in the reel about snowboarding?
Well, I said I made up.
I made up snow cap.
Well, that was you know, I know.
I asked what are you the delicious movie, the movie time tree.
Well, okay.
How do you an urban film?
What that's why I was candy.
You get at the movie theater.
So this is one thing I was telling Dylan about people that live in like Colorado or Denver.
Is that their whole personality is living in is snowboarding or living in Colorado?
Yeah, sometimes it's hiking.
Yeah, but they don't say thing.
They don't have a personality or an identity.
That's it.
Like they're not funny about color.
Their personality is is the pictures on the wall at that.
Yeah.
What's the place that sells jackets?
The jacket store.
Yeah, the jacket store.
Burlington.
Not Burlington.
The fucking one that you have to have a membership for and shit.
But I realize that my brother, he has no personality.
All his friends.
I met no personality.
All for the friends that I know.
Which brother is this?
No personality.
Not the gay brother.
No Mac kind of got all the personality genes.
Yeah.
What's Max personality?
Max personality is just the anti of whatever is going on.
Yeah.
Toxic.
Contrarian.
Yeah.
I'm a sophist.
Whatever that means.
They said how come God had the devil and they said God didn't allow the devil.
The devil is the absence of God.
That's Mac.
Yeah.
Well, the big one.
He's friends with the dark is the absence of light.
Mac is like the opposite of everything.
The biggest trick the devil ever pulled on God was telling God.
He said, don't make Mac.
And God was like, oh, you're trying to trick me.
And then he made me.
You know, I heard that saying differently.
I heard the saying was the biggest trick that devil ever played is he said to God, ligma.
What he got said, what's ligma?
And he said, ligma nuts.
I did that to fucking God.
Yeah.
And then God felt like a complete piece of shit.
He must have done a lot of pranks because I also heard that the well, I think there's
different different people think that these different pranks, the biggest prank that the
devil ever pulled.
Well, because I heard that the devil called Dan Dosimo and pretended he was the John from
JFL and that he got the clip and that it wasn't funny at all.
He's like, you're not going to get booked.
So that's what they say in church a lot.
It's the biggest trick they've pulled.
That's when Dan went rogue after that.
The biggest trick that the.
The biggest trick that the devil pulled was calling me at three in the morning and asked
me if my refrigerator was running.
I went and checked it and came back.
I go, yes, running.
And he said, well, you better go catch it.
Did you catch it?
No, it wasn't actually the biggest tricks of devil ever pulled.
One time that huge hookery picked up.
Yeah.
Didn't even pay her.
It's a trick.
Well, at the time someone someone called me and they said your refrigerator is running
and you better than I went and looked and it wasn't running away.
Nice.
And I was like, oh, fuck, thank you.
I go.
I caught it for your information.
He's training for a 23 K.
Yeah.
What is it called a 400 K?
I don't know.
401 K.
I don't.
I'm a fat guy.
I don't know different.
You insert foot race.
That would have been a good job.
Marathon.
Yeah.
For your information, my refrigerator is training for a marathon.
Well, it's it's marathon.
Not a sprint folks, and that's why we're sponsored by Cool Steeper Club T.
The biggest trick that ever played was convincing the world that it was a sprint, not a marathon.
I mean, what three legged race, whatever you're an American, Jason, you're you're a sports
runner.
You run for sport.
You know me.
And what's your most favorite refreshing drink to have after sports?
I believe it was prime, which is well, after a long run, I like to drink a glass of microwave
vodka.
Oh, you're back on the song.
I'm joking.
I would never do that.
Well, that concerns shot into the Cool Steeper Club.
That's what I always drink.
I like caffeine.
Is it tea?
This is tea.
Test us.
Remember we had that segment Max T. This is my segment, Jason's T. Oh, and it's this
is a Christmas black.
So it's bogus.
I have to get gossip, but you but you get just get to have a thing of tea.
Yeah.
So much more work.
We're going to have to bring it up with the next contract in negotiation.
I'm just gonna buy some Cool Steeper Club with our promo code bad comedy for 25% off.
Wow.
And the website Cool Steeper Club.com.
You can get subscription tea with the promo code bad comedy.
Yeah.
Everyone buys subscription.
I can't believe you paid full price for that.
No, no, I got it.
I got it.
You did.
You just private check it out.
It's my dick.
Well, you like Cool Steeper Club, right?
Don't know.
I don't.
I've never really been there.
I don't think it's well.
Okay.
It kind of in the court.
Don't worry.
This is kind of a good thing for Cool Steeper Club.
A guy who wears gloves 24 seven never takes them off doesn't like Cool Steeper Club.
Anywhere's a Jerry chain.
A weird guy doesn't like it.
Normal guys me and Mac.
We love it.
So there you go.
It just makes a lot of sense to make our listeners swipe away and it's like the Mac
first PC thing.
10 minutes in.
What are you jealous?
Because that's usually your job.
It's funny.
He's jealous of Cool Steeper Club because normally that's his job.
Nobody ever means it's Mac first PC.
I do.
I pay for it.
And I buy it.
And we really pay for it with the listeners.
I legit have such a caffeine addiction.
I have subscription tea and subscription coffee.
People get subscription stuff on Amazon and stuff like that all the time.
Cool Steeper Club is better because it's straight to you from the company and it's fresher.
It's probably not from some weird.
It's curated.
It's different every time.
And then you don't have to like I get I get everything subscription because I work for
a place that gives me food.
I don't want to say I get subscription food for cheap.
So I literally don't go to the groceries.
He works for a peer.
So I get they send me tea.
They send me food.
What else do you need?
We should interrogate the drug.
We should interrogate Dylan.
They need they should come up subscription drug service.
I can't.
I'm a genius.
I'm going to write this down.
This is a good segment.
All right.
They do.
They do have drug delivery.
They have they have a script.
They have subscription prescriptions that they deliver you like illegal drugs.
They can't subscription.
A ball up.
Yeah.
Does anybody send you like ketamine every first of the month?
I mean, you could probably do that with at brain spot.
It's not on there.
Sponsor company can get behind.
Yeah.
Brain spots good.
But as a segment, I wanted to interrogate Dylan.
I don't know about what, but we'll watch this on verbals and kind of figure out.
Oh, we're going to do like an interrogation.
Yeah.
So we need to find out something.
You guys are upset.
I don't cooperate about the ads.
No, no.
Not about the ads.
So Dylan, how would you get up to this morning?
This is a popular YouTube format.
They call it Jim can.
Jim can swim or something.
Do a vacation video with a break.
I do this morning.
I woke up at 1244 and said, fuck, we'll do Japanese cop.
We'll do Japanese cop.
Bad cop.
Wait, wait, Japanese cop.
Good cop or bad cop.
Bad cop.
What time you wake up?
1244.
That's pretty late in the day.
You dipshit.
Why'd you call me a dipshit?
From the bad cop.
As long as you are at peace with yourself.
1245 is okay.
What did you do afterwards?
I got up, got ready and came here right away because it's supposed to be here.
What did you do yesterday?
Right away, huh?
Yeah.
You didn't do anything else.
You came straight here.
You just, you just walked out of bed.
You just walked out of bed into an Uber.
And it was a lift.
So you didn't even do your hair or the lack of it?
Make sure it's right on.
It was a lift in case he changes mind later.
I'm taking notes.
We got to put together a timeline.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so wake up 1245.
The walk straight to the lift.
Are you using the read method?
Yes.
Okay.
Who was it?
The read.
Don't worry about it.
And, oh, the different week, I think that that's a very good idea.
And you're smart for doing it, being very good with your time.
What did you do next?
I came here as a really good use of my time.
What do you do yesterday?
Yeah, online poker.
Oh, clean my room.
How?
What times you wake up yesterday?
We know you don't got a fucking job now.
This is common as punk.
Now when he put you hippie fuck now when he puts his head back to think like this, it
generally means that he's stalling because he he knows the answer.
He just isn't going to come out and say it.
He needs to make sure there's continuity in the story.
We know the truth.
You were jacking off.
That's why you don't want to tell us.
You're embarrassed.
You are jacking off to a corpse of a body.
To a corpse.
Is that the first thing you think of?
Do you DNA matches during I was Japanese cop and now I'm bad cop.
Do you had their bodies in your duffel bag?
No, do you have heads in your small duffel bag?
Can we look in the duffel bag and verify what's in the bag?
These hounds I believe you're like we can't trick them just telling the truth.
We read him like a book.
We did read method.
All right.
Anyway, we're going to borrow your cell phone and make a copy of it.
So honestly, the interrogation doesn't matter.
They always just get everything from the cell phone.
They literally they're like, okay, this we found the body in the woods and then your
cell phone pinged right next to it.
When?
Yeah, it's always evident.
They literally always get everything from interrogation and then they have enough evidence
to convict them on the second one.
Yeah, just then they're like, well, we actually turns out the whole time.
We knew you're lying now.
Dude, did you ever watch the jokes?
It turns out the whole time.
That's what all those videos are, but it's an hour long.
There's this one I watched.
It was legit.
Like it might have been like two hours long of them getting this guy's whole story of
his whole day of everything.
And they let him tell the whole story for like two hours straight and they kept asking him
details and details and then he got to like done with this story and he was like, now
we're here and the cop goes, okay, well, I know that's all a lie.
So I'm gonna throw this away.
He takes the papers.
He throws them away.
He gets out a new paper.
He's like, we're going to start over and you're going to tell me about how you killed your
parents.
He killed his parents.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's it.
It's both.
So it was it was incredible.
I mean, it was so boring, but the payoff was so huge.
Yeah.
I don't get I understand.
I understand when you want to listen to every single thing they say, but if you have enough
evidence, why waste your time?
It's all just about building the I mean, supposedly they want to build the case airtight.
Right.
And they want to seem nice in the beginning because people get off.
They want to be nice and agreeable at the beginning and then flip the switch on them
and kind of like, like, what the heck?
Also they want a confession because circumstantial evidence and all that shit.
Oh, speaking of people getting locked up, you guys saw that article about the person
in the case.
That's got to be scared.
Oh, sorry.
What?
What happened to Scotty?
About my my my.
Oh, you said it something.
I didn't look into it enough.
Do you want to talk about it?
Well, if you read the article him and two other people tied a woman to a chair and it
burned her alive.
Well, was that a black while blasting killing the rats on repeat?
Is that a Kodak black song?
So is that song?
Is there something about it that makes it why they play it then?
I mean, I use a video that song was creeped out in the article.
They say that it was over $65, but I that's what the father of the victim said.
I don't believe that.
I'm sure it was had to was something about her being a rat.
Okay.
I was like, I think Scotty was in jail and was out for like two days and then did this.
She probably read it on the first time.
And now, yeah, they might have been all fucking on drugs.
But these are the vibe of that was like, druggy.
So like Scott, you know, Scotty.
That article is way gone.
So if Hacco thought I was flexing about these people that I know, he could have been that
person.
Yeah.
So listen up, Hacco.
Who knows the mind of Hacco Ryan?
Who knows his mind?
I don't.
Yeah, I truly cannot say what he thinks.
Dale apparently does.
Dale has aligned himself.
Thank you, Hacco, for putting me on your show.
Yeah.
So that's how low he's kind of weird.
He didn't thank the bad comedy podcast for putting us on.
Oh, yeah.
In fact, he did the opposite.
He like said he hated us and he didn't want to be our friend anymore.
Yeah, he said no more favor.
No more favor.
Thanks for the favor you did us.
That was such a favor bombing at our show.
Dale doesn't pick up my calls anymore.
I want to I want to go on walks with him to so we can both get in shape.
You've been trying to walk.
I'm like, I'm like, hey, Dale, let's go patrol Humboldt Park and make sure these Puerto Ricans
aren't up to no good.
We got to make sure that the recupy the neighborhood safe.
Is that my team Hacco now?
Yeah, he's a he's a you can stay on team Hacco.
We don't need Dale anymore.
We got we're growing a new Dale and Mike Dwyer.
Yeah, yeah.
We got a young fresh Dale.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a grown fresh out the kitchen.
We have a young Dale.
He's got trauma too, buddy.
I've been digging in with him.
Oh, yeah.
He's had a horrible life.
He's kind of like he's gonna be a way better Dale.
Yeah, it's like when you replace a quarter back, we can make him better.
Exactly.
And then he'll work and he's more of a long term option for us.
And he'll work at Ed and Jeans.
Yeah, we'll get them in there.
I didn't jeans.
Another dive bar with it.
Yeah, we used to always used to be a comedy hangout in jeans.
I remember after the first power hour came back, they'll fix in G.
That gallery.
We went to Ed and Jeans after that's cool.
Shout out to Mike makings used to live across the street.
The guys started beer belly with so we'd go there all the time there and Jack and
Ginger's about Mike taking.
We did mushrooms and Jack and Ginger's one time.
What about Mike?
Mike destroyings.
Ooh, I like that.
Instead of makings.
Yeah.
What is there Mike?
Manker to Mikey Manker.
Yeah, I'm happy they both.
They used to also both get mixed up and they also both got into Trump and got like canceled
by the scene for their political views.
Is there anyone that you get mixed up with where you're just like have to be a little
bit acquaintances with them?
I used to get mixed up with Derek Smith, but he lost weight and moved.
Dan does.
He used to get mixed up with Dale all the time.
Yeah, he lost but Dan lost weight and changed his look a little.
She did.
They're look a little changed their look a little.
She changed her look.
I didn't say anything.
It changed his look.
I said Dan changed his look.
No, Dan calling.
Dan called me.
Yeah, you guys forget that story.
I know I'm misgendering him.
Dan called me during the first 10 minutes.
The episode that we didn't record and said I'm a girl.
So what?
Yeah.
So Dan transition.
It was gay than non binary.
No.
Trans.
Yeah.
Did it was ET trans?
I think I think ET.
Didn't ET wear girl clothes?
No, they did put ET actually.
I think they put a wig on ET.
They always try to put a black man in a dress.
You ever notice?
Yeah, including ET.
Yeah.
It's sad.
These aliens.
The aliens people are talking to ET black.
No, people never talk about how the aliens have it hard.
People like black people have it hard.
Mexicans have it hard.
Yeah.
Stop Asian.
Hey, what about the aliens?
What about ET?
They want to put them in a house man area.
Yeah.
They talk.
He only say his own name like a Pokemon and they did what they dressed up like a girl.
The moralized and put them in a dress.
He was mad.
He had alien powers.
Yeah.
He had the healing finger.
He had a cool finger.
Imagine.
I heard he stole jokes from Cat Williams.
Dude.
Chicks.
I had to bang the family dog.
Harvey.
Dude, ET in the dress.
They always try to put a black man in a dress.
That's the problem.
Hollywood.
You know the ET.
Smashed up.
ET finger blasted a Screva's friend.
Girlfriend.
Oh, wow.
Light up.
ET finger girlfriend.
Uh huh.
Fingers Screva friend girlfriend.
ET finger girl.
Hey, well, if you don't listen to our podcast guy, sorry, we couldn't.
Sorry that Jason can't get you on the show, but you need to do comedy for longer.
It was just a favor and I couldn't do it.
Yeah.
I'm not mad at him.
I'm mad at him.
He should listen to the show.
We should go back to pressuring people to listen.
Yeah.
I stopped doing that.
I'm retaking my final exam at the end of the month.
Nice.
That'll be cool.
I'll come back to comedy a little bit.
It's the last exam you're taking for a while.
Good.
Because with this one, I'm an actual broker in some states.
You only have to have your six, but I have to have my 63 also.
So that you can be broker at home.
And I can broker in all states.
But then I can also get one to become a principal.
Of a school?
A high school principal.
Wow.
Yeah.
No, it's just a head of a BD.
I heard Jeff Asma was working to become a principal and it didn't work out.
Was it a background check again?
Yeah, I guess his background check is still really, really bad.
Yeah, you would think that he was trying to apply for the educational system and he keeps
getting denied because of background check.
Yeah, some of that stuff stays on your record for life, dude.
It's kind of systemic oppression.
Yeah, what's the statute of limitations on kidnapping a child?
It's like they're adults now.
The recidivism rate with those six, six, six, seven, eight.
The River Phoenix rate, whatever you said.
What is the thing, if those kids test well, no one says a thing.
What the fuck was that word you just said?
Revisit?
Revisit.
Revisit prison?
So he's kind of not paying attention.
I got to work out.
It's important.
Sorry, this is important.
I would not normally do this.
He actually has a show tonight.
My car broke down and it's full of music equipment and it's just parked at a jewel in Chicago.
Let's talk.
A long logistics involved in Ask Two Ass is a great band if you need to book a band.
That is a good band.
Have we talked about communism on this one?
I think I'm going to set up a show with Ask to Ass and Donnie, a past guest of the show,
a special show, and I'm going to try to do it at the American Legion.
That's my plan for coming this summer.
Soon enough, it'll be the Chinese Legion once Team Moon takes over.
It's going to be a big, fun show.
I'm going to start trying to book a big, fun show once in a while at the American Legion.
Team Moon is kind of like how my album was.
New Year's You Should Call It?
What?
The Big Fun Show.
Actually, it sounds really like a good version of it.
Yeah, it sounds good.
Big Fun Show.
I'll write it down.
Big Fun Show.
I'll sponsor by the Biggest Fatus, or how's about the Biggest Fatus guy?
Uh-huh.
The Big Fun Show and the Big Fat Guy.
Did you see this recent Sam talent clip that went up where he's like, is anybody in the
room fatter than me?
Yeah.
He stole Sorob's joke.
I shared it.
It was, it was not like, it didn't seem like Sorob's joke because when nobody was, he
seemed legitimately disappointed.
I think I had.
It's brutal.
I think I had.
So Rob expects to be the biggest.
Sam is like, he's got a delusion that he's not.
He's so better if they are the biggest.
Who's bigger?
Sam or Sorob?
Well, I mean, Sam weighs more because he's like a giant.
We got to make like a lineup of just all the people's fat jokes.
Yeah.
Are you Googling Sam talents?
Wait, I'm wheeling and dealing over here.
Yeah.
They should do like a mini.
I tried to, I tried to Google Sam talents wait, but it says it cannot compute.
Oh, your phone got really heavy.
Yeah.
My phone's really hot.
Yeah, it feels like my car.
I'd be I'd ex out of that real quick.
Yeah.
No, but the don't I think that was before you, before he got here, I was doing biggest
fan of sky in different guys voices.
I'm eating and I'm a little bit different.
We should do a mini showcase just and share all their clips one day just in a row, just
like a ham talent.
So Rob can for as well.
What's up food?
Three store up clip for the past 20 clips is the chair joke.
Uh huh.
Yeah, get a chair joke in there.
Share a norm clip may be a Jason clip.
Yeah.
I like the normal Donald special.
I think it was called a.
We call it was called a Danny project.
Yeah.
How about a how did you hear Dan stealing my album name?
He's calling his album Danity Project.
Oh my God.
They are they are stealing.
I heard that Albers is making his the Hannity Project.
What?
Yeah.
And this is all from Bob Keene's genius idea.
I was actually thinking to call mine the insanity.
Prod.
Because I'm absolutely insane.
You're like the ICP the insane clown Posse clown project.
Oh, I like that.
I was going to call my album Project Pat.
I like that.
Or or if you for my hood or the Alan Parsons project.
Uh huh.
Project Pat has a song on the clone Tyrone soundtrack and it's fucking awesome.
You guys want to hear some of it?
No, no, no, no, no.
So let's talk about communism.
Did we talk about that on the 10 minutes we lost?
I mean, Jason talked about in our little session last week, we kind of got into a lot
of stuff you would have said no, don't talk about this.
What did you just talk about life and shit?
We had we talked about life and shit and mental abilities and capitalism, communism.
I was working with a client this week and they were like they're they're Chinese.
And so you work with the Chinese.
Well, listen, so I was like, they were applying for life insurance.
And then they're like, wait, this is not rice insurance.
I thought this was rice insurance.
This is rife insurance.
This insurance for my rife.
So my right to come to my town.
It's like if you don't like to show if you don't have a good time.
No, I want to protect my rice from them.
We got that insurance.
It's just a helmet.
So they didn't take the application.
Isn't that weird?
I don't know if it's weird.
They wanted free insurance.
They wanted rice insurance.
That's what Bernie Sanders wants.
Free insurance for all.
No, I shouldn't be holding these because I'm Japanese.
Japanese hate communists.
Yeah, they like they like the West.
Well, they said we will pay your claim.
Even in World War two, our friend from hardcore history, our partner, we talked with him all
the time, Dan Carlin, he was saying that they were the most anti-communist of any country
for some reason.
Who was the like go on stage and do it.
Because they were copying the West.
They'd be awesome.
They hated the Russians so much.
They're right above them.
They wanted they saw who was becoming a world power and they're like not the communists.
Britain, you know, America.
Yeah, we want it.
They're like we want to we're the best.
They're like they're like white power.
Yeah, they do think they're the white people of the.
Yeah, and they think there's they think they're white power.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, or they did during World War two.
I don't know what they think now.
What's the order again of who they think is good?
Isn't there order?
I don't know.
Order order.
There's a lot.
I'll tell you what, when I make an order, it's going to be a salt and pepper tofu.
Yeah, I'll tell you if I make the words going to be I'm going to be ordering.
That's Chinese.
I'm going to be ordering a Blair pork chop with salt and Macnepper medium well on stage.
I want to be like on stage be like you guys like impressions is my Bernie Sanders impression
and then turn around and just pull out the hammer and sickle and have them like in my
hands.
Oh, yeah, dude.
And then and then you will pay your claims.
That's a good idea.
And then drop them and then say hammer and sickle more like get hammered and eat a pickle.
Yeah.
And then you do like a beer bong and chug some vodka and eat a pickle.
Because I believe and that's your act.
He does.
He has a house just for that.
You'd be like the new guy who smashed watermelons, but it'd be different.
You said you get hammered and eat a pickle on stage.
Watermelon spice is a flavor that did not work.
Sickle Starbucks trying to party.
Fickle that's a good word.
What does fickle mean like weak?
The good this kind of means like what are you doing?
Fickle.
No, like something is very fickle or no, it's fickle like a fickle means it means like sneaky
is this someone's it's like you don't want to help your like your fickle.
You're like, I don't know what it means.
Because there's about tickle.
You get up.
What does fickle mean?
Because there's also the word frugal.
That means that you're cheap.
And then there's beautiful.
Oh, it says here.
Fickle is when you tickle somebody.
Oh, you're tickling them.
All right.
So sexual.
All right, guys.
Fuck Mary kill Megan Loftus, Kaylee Horton or real Julie.
First I would kill myself.
Yeah, I fuck Mary kill myself.
Yeah, I think we all agree on that.
Right well that's like my right.
But that one in the books.
Yeah, but in the books, we'll try again.
The guest.
We're not going to tell you.
I did tell the guest to call you and they get here, Mason.
So you're kind of forgetting for the all the text.
This you guys know we're having dandosimo back on.
You should just have dandosimo beatbox at Reggie's instead.
Yeah, we kind of when he got into it.
It was kind of sweet that might maybe.
Oh, that was awesome.
Jason, should we have like a five second theme song at the beginning where it's just when
it was the best part of that?
Yeah.
And then it was Jason.
I don't like the effects you added, especially the tie dye on the there's there was some
controversy.
Yeah, the clip was incredible.
Awesome.
There's some funny comments on the the what do you call that on YouTube the short.
There's like people going back and forth and everyone kind of liked.
But there's a bunch of people who are complaining that I ruined it, they say.
I only saw one early on that was like fire.
Yeah, everyone's like, this is good.
They're like big homie needs to chill.
No, I think both sides can like it.
Yeah, because you you say the ethical thing.
Yeah, no, they don't like me.
They're like, well, I want to keep it nice and short because of a lesson of the thing
about how I explain that dubstep is not hip hop.
And yeah, it's always hard to figure out.
This is behind the scenes stuff, guys.
Try to figure out how much or a little to keep in, you know.
And sometimes they say less is more to me.
Sometimes they say more is less also.
Sometimes they say the the core of the earth is hell.
You know that.
And it's a great movie.
That's one thing I ask people sometimes that are religious.
I'm like, where's hell?
Mm hmm.
Is it in the core of the mantle?
Just knowing now just science a little bit.
The core, yeah, core, go to the core of the earth.
You know, they say he's right to the core.
Right to the core.
Well, and you can't even get a submarine to go down to the ocean floor.
It's like, come on.
Oh, back to school steamboat.
I don't know.
Back to steamboat.
Mm hmm.
Like I went there and I instantly came out.
I instantly came up with snow cap and my brother said nobody's ever come up with that
there.
Snow cap.
No, Kev snow.
I said snow cap.
Snow cap.
And then I invented that one day there.
Yeah.
No one's ever thought of that there.
Not one cool snorkel.
Because they have snow caps.
Yeah, I know.
I think it's kind of a white snow cap.
I want to be white.
I'm sitting with this guy on the chair.
I came up with rain hat.
Well, I came up with rain hat.
That's pretty good.
It's the hat you wear in the rain.
Oh, wow.
It's like snow cap, but different.
Yeah, that's good.
I was on the chairlift with this guy.
He's a weird strange guy.
He said, you're the you're the powder man to me.
Whoa.
And I was like, what do you mean?
What's the name I think?
I was like, I don't have any.
I was like, I don't have any blower or anything.
He's like, no, it's because you're you've been shredding and powder out there.
Exactly.
You're the powder man.
And then I was like, oh, you mean like actual powder snow?
I actually do have cocaine as well.
And then I was like, thanks.
Yeah.
That is cool.
Yeah.
I was like, what are you hitting on me?
Yeah.
No, it's a cool.
It's her nose.
A ghost the whole time.
I like that idea of a gnarly ghost.
It's one of my hallucinations.
It's like this gnarly ghost.
Casper the gnarly ghost.
He shows up at the beach.
He's like, y'all surfing cowabunga.
Dude.
Yo.
I got to get to the skate park and haunt some kids.
That was a rad pop shove it.
You know what I said?
Skateboarders these days that aren't cool like the old ones like Ronnie Mullin.
I say pop shove it up my ass.
Yeah.
Shut up.
Yeah.
Your ass because you're gay and you want.
No, you need to shout out.
No, it's in the way.
We don't talk.
There's a song.
Oh, my song.
Oh, no, there's a song.
You have a tray for my ass.
There's a song that's like, come on.
Give it up.
That is a song of that in country.
I'll kiss your ass.
Oh, do we talk about this?
We talked about Toby Keith last week and then he died like a day later.
I mean, my brother, we're talking about it right afterwards.
And then we were popping.
Yeah.
Yeah, I said that to you guys.
Rest in peace.
You texted us about it.
It was crazy.
That Saturday.
He died that Monday, I think.
So Saturday we played Toby Keith.
I'll just ask you in my can.
We talked.
We listened to the Taliban song and I probably haven't listened to Toby Keith on my own.
Accord in since the last time I heard the Taliban song.
I like the Red Solo Cup song.
Yeah.
Oh, there's also a song he has with Willie Nelson.
I heard that one.
He will kind of, he's immortalized.
Actually, this was when Andre Hashem was here that night and we kept going on the podcast.
Oh, yeah.
And Dylan almost died.
Yeah.
And then Andre was saying that Willie Nelson was racist and I was like, no, he's not shut
up.
Was that Andre or was it?
That was Andre Hashem.
Did you ever fight with Michael Kluber about this, too?
Were you arguing with him about the lyrics?
No, Michael Kluber was, he was being an apologist for...
You were saying some country singer was...
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
He was saying that Merle Haggard wasn't racist, but that Willie Nelson was.
That Hank Williams Jr. was.
And I was like, I never met a Merle I didn't like.
Yeah.
I never met one Merle.
Merle's a good name.
If I had a boy, it would be Merle.
I agree.
Merle is a good name.
Not.
I was going back in my tweets one time.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Say it's a good name.
It's a great name.
What name?
Merle is a great name.
Thank you.
Not.
I had like a tweet from like 10 years ago that was like, never met a Jew I didn't like.
And then I deleted it.
So you've met...
I'm sorry.
I don't want to name name.
Hold on.
I gotta go find that fan real quick and get some more.
Wow.
So you're trying to get your Japanese paper fan.
Yeah.
Nice.
This guy loves getting paper.
Have you seen the astray while you're out there, but I'm gonna use my can.
Yeah.
Use your prime can.
Hell yeah.
I ordered this shit off of Amazon.
People were really confused.
This prime.
Jason, I don't want to be a common you know, sir.
Can I get another free THC or no on THC.
These are THC free.
Yeah.
I smoke cause I'm cool.
Not cause I'm addicted.
Yeah.
I'm not cause I'm addicted.
Not cause I'm addicted.
And I could share my cigarettes and not like complain about it because I'm not addicted
to them.
Yeah.
And it's just like, do I go away away away?
Everyone's always bumming cigarettes from me.
Then I even.
Whoa.
So I do fucking stop being.
I do stop being a broke boy.
Yeah.
Are these as expensive as regular cigarettes?
I think they are.
They're like 10 bucks a pack.
Oh really?
I'm sorry bro.
Don't worry about it.
I only smoke them here.
Like I don't smoke very much.
Yeah.
And it's not a big deal cause you get 20.
It's like 50 cents a cigarette.
Yeah.
And people are a lot of bums around here.
I saw on the train they say no.
No.
Is that right?
Do you get 20 or 10?
No, 20.
And then on the L it says no smoking, no littering, no eating.
And I feel like they have must hate that trail of candy cigarette butts I've been leaving
everywhere.
I'm addicted.
I like how when you break rules you break them all.
I don't just break a rule.
I break the rules.
All of them.
It's like that's the real addiction for me is breaking rules.
It's what I do.
I like to kind of try to say things that everyone's thinking that dude you're having
to say is bad because you're a bad dude.
I thought baddie was like a chick term.
Yeah.
But it used to be baddies is like an old like a baddie in a movie or this like a video
game thing.
Now it's more just yeah.
They call like a hot sexy lady a baddie.
Yeah.
So I thought why not just be a hot sexy lady variation on bad bitch.
I was thinking about do it a ongoing series on Instagram on YouTube where I explain memes
to people who are old.
Oh yeah.
I'm like I'm kind of old.
I'm getting kind of old and I'm kind of hip.
I'm like maybe I could offer my services to like old people who have they have kids and
stuff.
Did you see the stuff like me because a lot of places try and don't get it.
Did you see the Joe Biden thing you tweeted after the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
I was just saying him is the Illuminati.
Yeah.
Just like we drew it up and it's funny.
You just hit the camera.
I don't know but I'm pissed off.
You guys ever you guys ever lose your fucking Japanese fan.
Damn dude.
I'm so sorry.
I'm pissed off if I did what I know when I do I'm going to feel really hot all day.
Yeah.
I know I definitely derail the conversation.
I'm sorry but it is hot in here with Japanese people.
Or if you derail the conversation because I know your people are good at putting them
rails together.
Yeah.
That's the Chinese motherfucker.
13% you think I don't know that I'm racist.
That is a conflict of interest for but why are the Japanese so famous for having fans
even like the generals would be like have like it's super gay to have a fan like that
but even like the because there's no one who loves paper more than the Japanese they
build all their fucking houses out of it and they built their fans out of it.
It's called origami.
It's during World War two we're like huh I wonder how we could bomb their city.
I'm thinking fire.
Yeah.
I think I think I think Japan's climate for the most part is like pretty moderate so
they get snow and stuff too in most places.
Hell yeah.
So I'm deeply afraid of do they use the fans in the winter.
I don't know.
What if they're a gay show they probably have to their performance.
I thought about doing the white face geisha thing.
I have to get a dress for that though.
Do they do.
First time I met Mike makings I thought he was a geisha but turn out he just stuck his
face in a plate of cocaine.
Oh I actually saw the show making of a mic about about Brandon Mike Gase Mike Gasey and
Stephen makings Avery.
My favorite actor is will you make geisha.
Really.
Have you seen the memoirs of William H.
Gays.
Dude I was hanging out with John Wayne Gays.
The other day.
You're the way.
Wayne Gays is pansexual.
It's fucked up how we would lock those boys at his apartment and put on make up and do
a dance.
I know.
Not the play with a little fan.
When you go to pick up your kids it's just like what the fuck.
Yeah.
It's like the last thing you see before you die is some fat guy dancing around doing a
geisha thing.
That's John Wayne Gays.
You know that.
All right.
So they always make fun of white people for not having rhythm and you know and then it's
like Latin people have like all those cool rhythms black people have like hip hop and
really like rhythm centric shit.
The Asian music has like no it's like wind chimes and shit about the.
Yeah they don't they don't really focus on the percussion.
They focus on the chimes and you know it's interesting but they play only the black keys
on a piano.
Yeah.
It sounds Asian.
It's a pentatonic scale.
That's the black keys.
That's the Chinese version of the band black.
I feel like the thing about doing a Chinese accent is the L's turn into ours but the ours
don't turn into L's.
What are the ours turn into.
They stay as ours.
It's weird because with with a Hispanic accent bees and bees they change through each other.
You know it's interesting those that.
Remember Team America you sing that song I'm so wrong.
Wrong.
Yeah.
You didn't you see you listen to it one morning.
Yeah I like still play.
Yeah I'll get it in my head.
That's your wake up.
But then sometimes ours turn to L's if like you have a speech impediment.
Oh yeah.
Or if you're deaf like well I know like that's how much smarter they are.
The L turns to a W for speech impediment.
Don't like I widow we don't know what to do.
Yeah.
Where are you.
I widow we have no idea what's going on.
I will we have Jake Peter.
Sorry Jake sorry Jake you big time you that one time so yeah forget about it.
Yeah you drove off on on your cool little scooter and big time to me.
You probably probably didn't you probably didn't hear I said but I'm just gonna assume
you big time.
Now he was faking it and he was ignored.
Yeah that's what I thought.
Yeah Tom Ryan's a faker.
It's pretty convenient.
Yeah selective hearing I guess.
Tom Ryan is faking it.
He's just trying to get out.
He's always trying to work out his neck is the thing.
Tom Ryan.
So he did.
I've formulated this new joke about Tom Ryan.
He's a terrible keeping his eye on the road but he's incredible across the street.
He always looks both ways.
But he can't keep his eye on the road when he's trying.
Ironically he's great across the street.
He's a great pedestrian.
Great pedestrian.
He's a great driver yeah.
Yeah.
He's got a don't go anywhere with them.
That is a story that multiple can be as I've told him about him that like when he drives
it's like horrifying because his like head is like twisting around backwards like the
goddamn exorcist.
Like look at the road.
Oh this is something I want to bring up from your and Ricardo's episode.
So you guys are talking about like the different like racist movies.
I haven't watched it in so long.
There's like Song of the South.
I mean it was like record as long ago.
And then you guys said Gone with the Wind but there's a there's a song that's really big
in the South called it goes Song Song of the South.
Yeah.
Potato pie and a shirt my mouth.
Gone Gone with the wind.
Something something something coming back.
Well Gone with the Wind is still known as like a good love movie but I think there's like
blackface or something.
No but it's funny that you guys said Gone with the Wind and Birth of the Nation.
I think you guys said Song of the South is a movie too.
Oh yeah that was yeah.
So you guys said both those movies and I was like that's weird that the chorus.
I think you said the wrong name.
I think it wasn't Song of the South.
I think he meant Birth of a Nation.
I like Beast of the South is.
I like I like Beast of No Nation.
It's about like did you see it's about like little Michael Robinson's black clansmen they
watch Birth of a Nation like all the KKK guys get together and watch it.
You can always learn from your enemy.
Yeah I always thought that song of the I thought that movie was about POD the youth of the nation.
Oh yeah.
We are we are we are the Beast of No Nation.
I thought that song was about pens.
The sequel to Birth of the Nation.
Is Birth of a Nation then Youth of the Nation then Adolescent of the Nation.
Kids are the future and they say the darnedest thing.
Yeah.
Harold Patrick.
Yeah.
Shout out to Harold Patrick.
He's a little guy.
He's the youth of the little guy but not a little Johnson.
Now how about this show.
We do a show where that little yodeling kid sings.
Okay we get him.
Harold Patrick Adam Gilbert.
Yeah.
And then I think correction I'm correcting myself.
Song of the South is also a racist movie.
Okay.
I think if you actually you know how to market your show really hard then it's better to have
a not diverse lineup.
You should have a little guy show a big fat guy show.
Called Shouties.
Yeah.
You should have a series of non diverse shows.
Yeah.
Like just be like this is the show for big fat guys.
Yeah.
Hey tiny thing.
Yeah so I'm getting rebooked.
I'm sure she's listening.
So that's your show for.
But why don't you book me tiny thick.
Come on.
I count the weeks on the calendar.
Now you're dating.
Oh Jay Lee.
My oh maybe you'll shoot him to make you mad.
There's some I guess they could do explore megan.
Oh Joe Lamont you better get that bulletproof vest back.
No.
I'm just kidding.
Oh you're not going to shoot.
He had a cool Grant Theft Auto video.
What did he do.
It was just like acting it out.
But then David Darnett gets his ass kicked in it by a bunch of black guys.
Oh nice.
One time I saw a tiny thing that comes to pick up oh Joe Lamont on the counter and make
make out with him and he was like his arms like up on the thing.
She was like damn tiny.
She picked him up and he had his arms like up on the things and yeah.
Nice.
He's the woman.
I love being dominated by a woman.
Oh the jury's out on.
I think comes straight.
You're not a lesbian.
Oh yeah.
She only I mean she's one of them comedians.
She says she's one of them female is a very common female comedian move to talk about maybe
being gay.
I heard this new tiny joke.
I don't know why they do it.
She grabs to you.
I know why they do it.
It's because everyone hits on them after the show.
So they set up like maybe I'm gay so that they could turn people down.
Well you know that.
It's a smart move.
Feed off of being wanted.
Yeah.
Well no they hate me.
They hate that.
They hate actually coming on to them.
They want to just be funny.
I gotta give her a problem on her new joke.
This fellow she has his drug by sucking two dicks at one time.
Although there are ladies who.
Yeah.
That's not a new joke.
I know.
I'm kidding.
Like what?
She says that she said that the cave when I oh kind of weird within this period of me
didn't you guys not getting rebooked.
Didn't you guys name the show after her vagina.
What within the period of me not getting rebooked.
I booked her on the cave.
So I didn't get rebooked.
I saw her at Albers wedding.
You should start running on the standup show bro.
I liked it when you had booked me a lot.
Yeah.
I'll call it.
I used to.
Yeah.
I was a comedian you always got to get in with one show that's weekly and struggles to
with people canceling so that they book you all the time.
What about you just get like lots of sets and you don't have to do any of the work using
a show running a weekly show success.
It does running it sucks ass but having a friend who runs one is awesome.
Yes just like anything.
Yeah.
It's always great when you can leech off the work of your peers.
Yeah.
Shout out to Dan.
No but Mac definitely show again.
Dylan you run a show.
You fucking yeah.
If I run a show it's gonna be a one man show selfish bitch.
Yeah of course.
Of course I'm gonna go do an hour and a half.
I was literally gonna call you selfish because you don't want to run a show and help people
you only want to be on shows but then you go if I ran a show it would just be a one
man show.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be a material to figure out.
So I'm gonna be selfish or if I ran a show it would be selfish.
What we should do is let's just say I'm not gonna get featured in headline.
I think on the next live podcast we should have Dylan do stand with the whole time.
We'll just bring him up.
Dude that would just make fun of me.
Honestly it would be hilarious to do a live podcast have Dylan do stand the whole time
and mean you sit silently on stage don't say a word for an hour.
Definitely 10 shows.
Be like it's in Dylan's contract.
So yeah we can say that after.
We'll pull jokes out of the hat make the audience disappear.
It'll be a magic show hybrid.
Yeah.
I like that.
I think comedy bar like that.
Shout out to comedy bar the best club in the city.
Yeah.
Shout out to comedy bar.
Cool steeper club.
We're working on a new date for our next live show there.
We are.
How so you get back to me.
Mm hmm.
What were you thinking April?
You said March but maybe April I don't know.
March feels so.
I like March.
I like it all.
As long as we actually just plan.
Shout out to Rachel March.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Rachel March friend of the show.
Yeah.
Patron of the show.
A woman comic though.
Yikes.
Have you ever heard Paul's joke about months?
About month.
Yeah.
Paul's like you ever meet somebody named April.
He goes that's not a name.
It's a month.
Yeah.
Nice.
It's awesome dude.
Yeah.
And he does it with like every month.
I mean I mean he's he's kind of worried.
He's kind of like a I'll learn a lot from his stand up.
What do you learn a lot.
This is to educate.
Which he goes what's your favorite ocean.
Mines the ocean.
Mine.
There's only one ocean.
Mines.
Joshua.
Thomas.
Yeah.
Shout out to Josh.
He actually he opened his ass for for Tim Dillon.
Nice.
I'm not going to lie.
I saw one of his clips and it was a very similar to Tina Joe.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
What do you mean I comment.
Well Tina is the perfect comic for him to steal from because they're both half.
I did see.
Yeah.
I did see that bit.
His bit was like I purple hair and I'm not.
I'm not trying.
Yeah.
He goes people always think I'm trans.
Yeah.
People always make fun of me for being trans.
Thing is I'm not.
And I'm like I'm trans.
Not.
That's a pretty good version.
Butchering jokes is the best.
I'm annoyed by Tina right now.
How of course I love the Holocaust.
I offered somebody a spot on the show to give me a ride because my car broke down and all
the music equipment.
And then I told Tina that they could have my time if it doesn't fit.
And she was like OK dot dot dot.
Like it made me feel bad.
And then she goes oh and I'm just worried because I gave somebody else a guest spot.
Fuck you Tina.
Oh you didn't talk to me about their guest spot.
I literally offered my time for somebody else to make the show work.
Oh well I'm going to tell you this later Tina.
Yeah.
I'll probably forget now that I got it on my system.
Hey Tina you can book me on the show.
Yeah Tina book Mac.
Yeah what about me.
I thought we were friends.
Well Tina's been talking a lot of shit about you Mac.
What the heck.
Why.
She said she said.
We start I guess.
She said she hates you because your hair is not purple.
What.
She's kind of a heiress.
Oh man.
She's kind of a colorist.
She's like heiress.
She's like heiress in four.
He's a heiress.
He's heiress in four.
What he heiress in.
She's yeah what heiress in.
Domestic heiress.
I was going to I was going to make the day.
I'm going to make the day and I'll see Mo Clip.
One of her.
I call him like Woody Harrelson.
He's just a lot of hair.
He's keep calling him different.
How about them apples.
Have you guys ever seen the movie Old Boy.
I know NBA Young Boy.
Alright never mind.
You guys got to see this movie.
Oh my god.
Can you write it down for me.
It's the most fucked up thing I've ever seen.
And it was also like one of the best movies ever.
Better than Be Keeper.
Yeah well different than Be Keeper.
They're actually both revenge movies.
I accidentally watched Sound of Freedom twice.
What is it.
Sound of Freedom.
The human trafficking movie.
That sounds good.
I'll check it out.
It's really good.
I'm watching Birth of a Nation.
I watched it twice.
I got Birth of a Nation and then I'm going to watch that.
It's what human trafficking which I think is when humans are starting traffic.
There should be a John Wick.
Somebody kills Max B.
John Wick.
Yeah.
I actually came up with an idea for like a John Wick type movie where there's like
a really cool guy and then somebody calls him gay so he kills everybody.
Oh no.
I have a good one.
I'll be John Wick and then Bob Keen calls me a vapid Cinco fan and then I kill everyone.
Yeah it starts a war that goes on for years.
I saw someone get called a Cinco fan online.
Oh really.
You know that's a good insult man.
Was it a boy band elephant.
No it was some kind of trunks go by.
I saw Kanye's new album he said Yeezy's back.
All right.
Did he?
I haven't listened to it yet.
I listened to what I thought was a leak of it.
Is he like guess who's back.
Yeezy's back.
What I listened to they said it was horrible.
What I was going to do was horrible.
Okay we can be.
Who's the man.
No it's like number one album.
You think it's good.
Yeah.
I just thought it was not good.
I don't listen to it.
Did you like it.
I listened to what was said it was a leak so I don't I didn't listen to the actual thing.
What I do is I don't listen to any new music unless I hear it somewhere and then an ISO
and what's this song.
What's that I hit like on Spotify.
Was Ty Dallas sign on every song.
I don't know.
Like it was like a collab.
I know Ty Ampersand.
Oh yeah that guy's good.
Yeah.
I mean that they them non binary person.
Ty Ampersand.
I know Ty Wiggs is the way Ty Wiggs.
Yeah.
I know.
Oh no I like like the carnival song and vultures.
I hate everyone talking about North being a good rapper or his daughter raps on it.
I heard the verse is one of the worst things I've ever heard in my life.
She's a little kid.
I know and why can't we say that she's a little kid.
She sucks.
She's a little kid.
I mean I think her lyrics are good.
She's good for a kid.
Yeah.
It's like maybe good for a kid but this is bad to my ears.
It's objectively bad.
This is a new West album.
I don't want to hear a fucking child.
People are here.
People are all subjective.
That was horrible.
Well yeah.
And Drake sitting next to him hyping him up.
Who is it?
So good.
Is it a little baby?
It's like if a kid draws something and it's on the fridge or whatever.
We don't put it in a fucking museum or on TV if it's a fucking.
I was actually in a museum as a kid.
Yeah.
Blame the artist.
Blame the artist and the art.
So they put me in a museum.
I have a question for a little baby.
They put my art there and then they took it away.
Yeah.
Turns out I was just in a temporary exhibit.
I thought I was in a museum for good.
I have a question for a little baby.
I'm getting a call from.
What if an actual baby?
Should I put this guy on her?
No.
They are saying about not putting it on her.
Hey, welcome to the bad comedy podcast.
Hey, what's up?
You're calling number 10.
How can I help you?
Hey, I was just calling that you slept with my wife.
Yeah, yeah.
Argyll Julie.
Do you not?
I gave her jizz eye drops, but we'll be right down for you, pal.
We don't want to reveal who you are on the first episode.
Sorry about your marriage.
All right, see you.
All right.
No, so that is pretty sad to start.
That's our guest.
JasonMiltonComedy.com.
Do you have any albums coming up?
JasonMilton Twitch.
My Twitch is growing.
Okay.
So Pligger Twitch again.
One more time.
What is it called?
JasonMilton Twitch.
That's J A S O N M E L T O N Twitch.
Twitch.com.
Comedy baddie everywhere.
Everywhere.
Anything else?
That's it.
Okay.
I'll be doing Epstein's Island Resort and Casino on the 36th.
And then follow me at Bad Boy Comedy and everything.
I mean, I'm a celebrity.
You know me.
Catch me at all the clubs across the city.
Catch me.
I'm going to all the Denver clubs all those out there.
We actually go to any Chicago website.
Catch me outside.
Catch me.
Catch us outside.
Hey, we'll we'll see you when the moon hits the was it?
Moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie.
That's pie.
That's adjacent.
That's adjacent to favorite food.
Yeah.
That's what he's read.
Season.
He sees the moon.
It's addicted to pie.
Yeah.
Hey, I love you guys.
Oh, thanks for coming on.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for coming on Mac.
Thanks, Mac.
All right.
Let me get.
We'll see you in the moon.
See you in the moon.