Hey everybody, welcome to bad comedy podcast. I'm Johnny Cash and I'm here with Charles
Melton. I'm here with whale Jennings and Dilly Nelson. Welcome to the show. How are you all
doing? I'm doing good. How are we doing boys? Good. I bought this shirt for that Johnny Cash
song I did, but it came in too late. It rules. I love this shirt. I was super jealous when
I saw it when I walked in. I haven't gotten a cool shirt in a while. Dude, your swag is
going downhill. You look good again. Once again. You got my orange Floyd shirt. I'm purchasing
a few buildings in downtown Chicago. I haven't been able to afford. I'm buying the Sears
Tower. They're not very liquid right now. Yeah, I'm not very liquid right now. Yeah.
All my liquid has been put into the Sears Tower purchase I'm working on. Yeah, when
when I'm underwriting the loan right now, when Willis bought the tower from Sears. I
was like, I was like, what you doing there? Willis? Yeah, seriously. And I said, I'm
still going to call the Sears Tower. Yeah, when Willis is like, I'm changing the name
of the Sears Tower. I got so upset. I was like, what are you talking about? No, no,
I heard that he was buying the Sears Tower. I was like, are you serious, dude? Yeah, you
can't be serious right now. Maybe 1% of people call it the Willis Tower. Yeah, that's only
the probably when I first saw the Sears Tower. I didn't understand it. I said, why so serious?
Yeah, people that call the Willis Tower Blair Porchop, MC Lightsea, who all sticks with
stuff really seriously. Willis is musical in. I'm not happy with the French what they
did to the Eiffel Tower made it a sex position. I think that's that's pretty gross. They
turn the French are so sexual they turn everything into position. Yeah. So you're a bit French
right? It's a devil's threesome. They call it because it's two D's and one V.
Naja toa. It's also sinful because it's two men in this sex thing. Very, very sinful.
They are the gayest country. You ever been involved in a mirror boy? Yeah, no idea what
that is. It's a wee wee one part onion. I have part carrot, half part celery. I would love
a pastry right now. Yeah, maybe some some of us is I don't care. Can we get some more
flame on? We have a new fire. We flame on flame. This podcast pretty flaming. Is there
a spark kid? I think there's a character who says flame on and then they become engulfed
in flames. I know that you're like X more maybe or Johnny flame Johnny flame when you
rock climb. Yeah, we called the guy Johnny Flamin High School, but it was not because
of the fire. Good. When you rock climb, they say because of his ling is a wandering eyes
in the locker room. Yeah, this sounded like something that you said earlier. I was never
looking at his eyes. Let's just say that when you rock climb, they say on belay belay is
on climbing climb on. It's kind of like what you were saying a little bit. Mirror boy. I
don't know. I'm like belay. I've never heard that. Yeah, I'm also never climbed. I'm like
not a climb. I'm like, let me just climb the rocks. They their name is Fay. I was gonna
say Fay. Yeah. That's when people tell me, yeah, you gotta have trigger discipline with
a gun. Yeah, have to not a free American. Yeah, right. Yeah, trigger discipline is how
we won the Revolutionary War. Yeah, exactly. And became a country. Yeah, trigger discipline
that came in handy during World War Two when we were killing 30,000 people a day. Give
me a break. All right, yeah. We had a productive is a rankings. World War One, World War Two,
World War Three. What do you got? I'm gonna say World War Three is gonna be number one.
And you could pick it for it. So it's reverse order for me. And we need one reason because
it's gonna be the war. The war that actually ends all wars. Because the world is this.
I was the first person to say this, but I don't know what kind of weapons are gonna
have in World War Three, but in World War Four, they're gonna fight it with sticks and
stones. Yeah, nice. Yeah, you still have from Dan Carlin. I know Einstein said that.
Right. I heard that in Oppenheimer. Yeah, he talks about it. I've been doing a deep
but I didn't steal it. They stole it. I stole it for me. People didn't realize it, but I'm
a level genius. Einstein can't even comprehend. I my favorite World War One because he's a
lot like mustard gas and stuff. And I'm a Chicago guy. So I like mustard. I only put
mustard on my hot dogs. No ketchup. I'll tell you. You're there trying to use ketchup
gas. I said, yeah, get that shit out of here. I'm from Chicago. Yeah, that should don't
work. Let's get some dogs after this. And hot dog, of course, is a slur for a person
from Belgium. I'll be right back folks. I'm getting some more, some more magic, some more
magic for fire. What is our magic fire? See technology and it's really it's magic at the
end of the day. Yeah, we're gonna have make fire. Yeah, like man, it's magic. You know,
I mean, never believe it's not so. All right. Yeah, the more you know, magic, you can manipulate
people. Yeah. One time a girl called me a manipulator manipulator. I barely know her,
but if I knew her better, it would be easier. I looked up manipulation, what it means. And
I realized this is actually useful to yeah, they should have called it war manipulation
because that's who's always nice. I mean, you gotta have that's the people who use it.
They gaslight us with the name even you gotta have a burger guy always like people. If you
want, if you want to be a burger Queens, if you want to be a politician, you gotta manipulate
the masses. Yeah, hell yeah, bro. But I that's what's all about what I do is I manipulate
I manipulate you early. You know, nice. Yeah, you gotta manipulate it before it's to manipulate
well, no, I manipulate early them way early on. And they don't realize they've been manipulated.
Yeah, yeah, I always I always hand nipulate a breast chicken breast hand nipulate. Yeah.
All right. I'll be right back. Why grab the supplies to the magic spells to read light
our fire Satan. So we're talking fire sticks and stones. I've been doing a deep dive on
the pyramids and who built them? Oh, yeah, who built them? I think that was actually there
were was humans were way more advanced than us now even a long time ago. Oh, yeah. And
then there was a catastrophe that the evidence is hidden under layers of then how do you
know it? This is just from Joe Rogan. Oh, I've been watching too much Joe Rogan. It's
on my Facebook algorithm. Yeah, there's all these videos that are like, you know, human
beings didn't have the tools to make the pyramids. But then what if they were I go, give me
20 huge blocks, I'll make the pyramids in two weeks with my bare hands. Yeah, it's Tetris.
It's Tetris, dude. If you have a work ethic, the pyramids are conspiracy is a fucking pussy.
Oh, it's so hard to make a pyramid. Shut up. You know, pyramid scheme even. So the only
other option the only other option is aliens. Like what what can it be just like some strong
guys? Yeah, or like they invented a thing with leverage. Give me four strong guys. Yeah,
give me four my best friends and I pay them in pizza. Yeah, who ever see saw a movie day?
Who are four strong guys we know? For strong as Moabed Moabed is not strong. Yeah. Well,
Dylan is kind of strong. It looks like they fire him out of a can Moabed Scott Darling.
I guess. No, no. We need but we need tall guys for when they're bringing the box up.
You know, Scott, it's hard to push up from the bottom. Darling has a Lenny quality, but
I don't know if it's strength. Yeah. You know, Lenny could be two things about Lenny. He
was very strong and he likes soft stuff. We need to solve skulls. It's about leverage.
Like we need Dale on the seesaw. Yeah, launch the rocks onto the top. Oh, no, you're right.
Yeah, to leverage the two ton blocks. So yeah, Dale for sure. No question about that. And
then anybody else would do and then we'll and then we'll just get John Hagar because
he's the tallest for whatever tall thing we need. Who built the periods though? Am I
right? Yeah, yeah. Ladies built the period. Like, well, I have to have a headache from
my period. It's a period scheme. I'm like, welcome to welcome to be is kind of a period.
Welcome to be an alcoholic and having migraines all the time. Yeah, ever heard of that? Yeah.
We have a that was sucked to be a woman. Alcoholism. You have your period and you're really hung
over. The worst headache. Dude. What about why are girls never on their comma? Huh? They're
always on their period. Yeah, what happened? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, bitch, call me when you're
on your semi colon. Yeah, why don't you call me when you're on your ampersand? Are you
on your around? Do you have a semi colon because you had surgery on your butt? Sometimes I'm
on my you have the semi colon. Well, they call it they call the they call the ampersand.
Oh, you got an ampersand ampersand is the lamest name for a fucking thing. What the
why? They call it that? Well, they're called the and sign. Yeah. I hate fucking synonyms,
dude. I program my computer to warn me whenever there's an amber sand. I said an amber sand
alert. Yeah. Like whenever there's one anywhere. Yeah, I get a text on my phone letting me know
there's an amber sand. How many notifications do you have? Well, it buzzes everyone's phone
in the area to let everyone know there's an amber sand alert. Grammer Nazi. Yeah, a little
bit. I know a girl named Ann Per Sand. We're talking about pop pop Baratsy and then Mac
you mentioned Papa. Yeah, Papa Nazi is kind of like a Papa Roche. But not see Papa. And
I was like, Jews remind me Papa Nazi. That's my dad's name. Yeah. I can't remember the
Papa Roche song. What's the big pop? I think scars is one of them. There was a bigger one
than that. I used to play at this bar when I was in a band, JJ Kelly's and Bartender's
and their big claim to fame was Papa Roche played here before. It was like a bar. Oh,
man. Also, we should change the name of Papa Nazi. That's some fucking Italian shit. Papa
Roche. Yeah, I wish you just call it picture takers of celebrities. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why
did they get to have a fancy French name? Annoying picture probably a sex movie. French
name. We'll call him exact annoying gay picture takers when you put a camera up your butt.
That's the popper. If I might somebody in the paparazzi, I'd give him a piece of my mind
and knock him out for no reason. I would use my mind to control my hands to beat them down.
Yeah. Sometimes people think they were violent, but it's just because they're not violent
at all. Yeah. It's not that we're that crazy violence compared to no violence. And then
being fucking little pussies. We're we're really just normal guys. They are just so
such pussies that like, you know, yeah, they could they probably could even build the pyramids
with their bare hands. No, no, they would never poke a bear. Yeah. Yeah, they would
never poke. I mean, the bear, Facebook poke. They would never poke the hornet's poke a
bear. Mm hmm. I shake a bear's hand in mutual respect. Mm hmm. I shake people down and
join the Patreon. True that. I'm a shake down Tom Ryan for you. Thank you to all of our
patrons, by the way, we love you all Zeke Zugler. As you know, your package is in the
mail and I'll reveal on the guest episode, the thing I put in there because because
in case it doesn't get to you until then, because it'll be Wednesday. I sent it Friday
and it's standard shipping. How are you going to get to him trying to figure out what's
in there? What's in the box? I'll it's your wife's head. What's in the box? Spoiler alert.
It's your wife's head. It's very special and I'll reveal it. Hopefully it's I hope he
gets it before I reveal it, but whatever. But I can't say what it is on here. But Zeke
gets on the way confirmed. I got a shipping number. But when I typed in the shipping
number, it said invalid. So I'm really hoping that is actually on the way. Or maybe it's
already there. I remember one time serial core put my wife's box in the head and sent
it to me and I opened it. I was like, Oh, good. It's my wife's head. I ordered this
two weeks ago. I didn't know when it was coming in. Yeah. Next time I'm getting expedited
shipping on this head. Whenever I order a team, we'll get 100 items. Yeah. I'm literally
like, what's in the box? Isn't it crazy how many heads they get stuff into that orange
patch? Well, they're actually being pretty financially responsible. Yeah. But my but
also it makes it cheaper for shipping. But like they pack everything like they can pack
100 items into a like a small like a frisbee. It's the clown car of packaging. Yeah. They
know what they're doing. Shout out to T moves shop like a billionaire. That's their slogan.
Mm hmm. Pretty sweet. They have billionaire glasses and the model for it is stitches the
wrapper. So whoa, those billionaire glasses, folks. Well, we're on the here. I do. We should
do our ads. We forgot to last week. You know, what the T add comedy? Shout out to the cool
steeper club. They have sponsors for tea. If you sign up at cool steeper club.com. We
get money promo code, bad comedy. Don't just buy it. Put in promo code, bad comedy and
Tom will love you. He's the man. Yeah, we're friends with the CEO, Tom. Yep. We're friends
with CEOs. It's not a big deal. So as we're all CEOs ourselves, but it's it's tea delivery.
They deliver tea, ice tea to your door in in tea bags. Yeah. Well, there's a little blue
bag of it's cold brew tea and how long does it last you? Do I mean, I get it's a subscription
I get once a month, they give me four bags of tea. It lasts me pretty much. Sometimes
I drink it. I used to drink it before the month and then my mom didn't finish her subscription.
So she gave me all her old ones. So I actually have like a bunch of I would say I might kind
of stocked up right now with tea. I would say that I drink it every month. I mean, if you
if you think about the cost to like the how much you enjoy it, you're actually making
money. Yeah, pretty much. It's so good. You get 20% off. Yeah, you're making plus it gives
you the caffeine to work harder to get to the next. It does. They have green tea and there's
also caffeine free for nighttime. Yeah, try one. Yeah, sure. You know, I like to do this
test to make sure they're staying up to date. I'm kind of this tea by the way, it's called
the Kenyan black, which that was my favorite president. It tastes just like Obama. Let's
see that. Yeah, yeah, the Kenyan black and then go to Brains by C on Instagram. That's
all I'm gonna say there. There's also I had a Christmas, but it's awesome. I was like
Santa Claus. And then of course, folks, if you want to hear the good episodes with the
guests, so that are normally two to three hours long and there's like 300 of them. Go
to patreon.com slash bad comedy. I just noticed that this it's gonna look like Dylan is on
fire all of a sudden. It's kind of rules. Should we move it that way? I mean, you can still
kind of see his face. Move it to the well that's gonna obscure him more. No, no, I mean,
like I know the side of him is like past it stays. That's better. I look like I'm in
Dale's head. Dale's head. We're sitting in the corner of the bar. No, well, I should
move it back and to stay leaned like that. So it's not when I move your head so we can
see how on fire it is. Now we're good. How are you gonna do it? If you're gonna do it
in your own, your lean prescription going. I'm just yeah. How's your lean prescription?
Well, my doctor up my dosage. Yeah, now I'm supposed to take a four to the head like whoa.
Wait, no, you're already taking that. Are you taking two doses? Yeah, I'm doing that
twice a night. Oh my. At the same time. Oh, shit. I think this is a go puff. Maybe. Hello.
Hello. You're on bad comedy podcast. Okay, just hit number two on the gate. Yeah, but
go pop should give you like a pin number to give me. Oh, I don't know that. Hold on. Do
you know how to do this? So you ordered coffee and was it 50 60 donuts? By the way, those
are just for me. You just see the pin out loud. 9126. Oh, Oh,
doxxed. All right. Then it's Buzz unit two and we'll come grab. No one's listening live.
We would never do this. I think you better sign up. Yeah, if it was on the page, I mean,
crazy would happen. Yeah. She has no idea. She's just she's a disconnected. I think so.
Yeah. All right, folks, that was our special guest. Lamari the gopo driver. I hope you
did not sound like a Lamari did it? Well, I can't sound very Lamari to me. Yeah. Well,
maybe maybe that's a female version of Lamar. Yeah, it's my favorite Mario brother. Well,
I like cat. I like Cal Mario. Cal Mario. Yeah, that's my favorite fish Mario. Yeah.
Yeah. My friend Duracell dude, he got locked up. Yeah. Are we supposed to do something
out there now? No, Mike, Mike is gonna grab it. Oh, nice. So Mike is kind of doing chores
for Mac. Yeah. Do you do you know he helps you? You don't pay him? So it's kind of like
it works for you for free. What's that called? It's like an indentured server. You and they
live in your quarters. Either listen to me slave or indecent serving. Is it also true?
You changed the name of this place from your condo to your plantation is also true. They
changed Mike's name to Toby. No, Mike. It's not true. It's kind of a lot of it. No, it's
actually changing Mike's name to Martin Luther. Shout out to Michael. Sorry. Sorry. I thought
I was being a good guy and then he offers to be helpful with things because he doesn't
pay rent. So school, they think we worked out, you know, yeah, if he was forced. Oh, so
he's your boyfriend. Yeah, we're domestic. So you can read some of your I could read
well observation. So I don't know if it'll help your case. Is it always always a Mike's
honest. I can read common law married like if you live with your woman for like so many
years, you come common law married. Yeah. What if you accidentally had a roommate for that
long? Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're like, thank you so much. Love you. By the
way, you get your Red Bull. Thank you. What if you actually became common law married
to your just your buddy that they chuck and lairied you? Have you kind of they're pretty
much so the idea of it is like you're pretty much married. Well, but you don't have to be
like legally married. Well, you don't know. You don't have to like there's beast like
in love. I guess is acknowledging that you've lived together for so long. So something happens
because in Chuck and Larry, they were like checking to see if they were actually gay
with each other. Did they? I didn't see. Yeah, they're investigating them the whole time.
Directors cut. Oh, you mean the the state was because they're getting insurance or whatever.
I forget what the point of the yeah, it was so that something with money with pension
and Adam Sandler's kids being screwed over. He dies. How about a movie? It's like a mix
of what he just called me and get term life insurance. Fucking it is. How about a movie?
It's like a mix of Brewster's millions and Chuck and Chuck and Larry. And what you have
to do is you have to be gay for a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I basically
just pay this guy to be gay. Have you heard that bear naked men's song? How much would
it cost you to be gay? Have you heard the bear naked men's song? No. It's like if I
had a million dollars, I'd suck me a penis and I would get after the head. It's been
two weeks since I soaked a dick. I wonder if that was a plot to attract more fans by
calling themselves that bear naked ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Probably to get more clicks.
They probably were. They invented clickbait. That is. Yeah. Honestly. That is. Yeah. Yeah.
So you. Oh, they bear naked ladies. You're you're you're checking out bear naked ladies
right now. I'm coming over. Our band is called Free Sex. As I was driving here, I had a
vision of the future where everything is clickbait. Like you go to college and you open your textbook
and everything is like pop up ads and stuff. Like books aren't going to exist. I was thinking
about how people hate a block of text. They said it's bad. Yeah. Bad people won't watch
it. It's like they're we're going to get rid of blocks of text. There's going to be no
books. It's going to be like it's going to be like the AOL the original AOL when all
those pop ups come up. We should call her. I love AOL. Yeah. I love A. M. You've got
mail messenger. They make a movie based on that. I love the A. M. You imagine being
a kid growing up when you had to go to school online when you're that young and you can't
like meet anybody because of quarantine. Yeah. If like two years it was like that.
There's going to be so many. There's going to be completely messed up. There's going
to be so many S. C.'s. Yeah. Sorry. S. S. It's like it's stunted. There's going to be
so many people that have done. I did not realize that the that Columbine was related to the
S. S. S. There's going to be a lot more S. S. is because there's been so many kids that
have been just like isolated. You know. Yeah. They're all the losers. Thanks government.
Yeah. Geez. Although they say. Wait. Did I already say the word. The C. I didn't say
it. What's the C. word. Child. No. That one thing that was going around. Climbed media.
As long as we don't make a stand. I saw a sign of I used to love the neighborhood. Bucktown
is my favorite neighborhood in Chicago. Fuck down. Fuck down. Yeah. That's what it was
for me when I was living there. Oh hell yeah. And I saw a sign that says I'm driving. And
as I'm getting into Bucktown there's a big billboard. It says what's that fucking STD
that starts with an S. Siflis. Yeah. Siflis can kill your baby. Get an STD check today.
Or else like we're going on in this neighborhood. They have to advertise this to everybody coming
off the highway. It also killed Al Capone and yeah true. It also killed Al Capone's
baby. I feel like I'm gangster. I feel like I'm kind of the new Al Capone of Chicago
and in a lot of instances that way is you know. So you have Siflis. Yeah. No capone.
I have a beat. Pistilis. It's right. Pistilis. Nice. Siflis sounds like the name Phyllis
like like from office. Yeah Phyllis is musical in like sit. Why why is it why is the name
Phyllis in there. That's a good name. Phyllis is also a musical in in Chicago and division.
It's like maybe be more creative. He's a good man. Random many shows. You know Keegan Buckingham
the bicycle comedian. He went on. He went on. America's got talent and then they made fun
of him and it didn't help him at all. What happened to Keegan O'Connell. He had a baby.
I think he's doing baby stuff. I seen him less and less after he had a baby. Did he
move though. I don't think he's completely gone. I've seen him ever. Doesn't seem like
he's friends with Keegan. They're both from New Orleans. Oh really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Shout out to because I saw that someone joined my job with his name. I touched him to see
if that was him. Yeah. Yeah. He was like no. Yeah. He would be that kind of guy who would
join that place because the last place he was working was like a Foxtrot convenience
store. Yeah. I mean I mean it's like a bougie Walgreens. I don't want to talk about work
but it's a place where if you don't have a lot of people don't have degrees and they
can end up making a lot of money. It's what I'm going to say. Yeah. And they can also
a lot of people if they don't work hard they're not going to make money. A lot of people don't
make a lot of money. Yeah. Because they don't put in work. Yeah. Because they can't find
it's it's meritocracy. No I've been up blind. I only have two people on my team. You got
to get up blind in a down line. I only have two people on down line. You have like a little
baby pyramid. I'm a producer. I'm not a I seen your down line as more of a downs line.
Nice. I'm a producer. I once I pass the sixty three I will have millions of dollars under
management. That's right. He works for. Nope. La Roe La Roe's a pizza. Oh my God. They're
sold. They sold leggings. There was a pyramid scheme that's like leggings. Yeah. There's
ones with like makeup. Yeah. Actually go door to door. That's that one called. That's
a famous one. Yeah. Like Macy Gray or something. Yeah. It's called. It's called something like
that. I don't know. Mary Kay. Mary Kay. I just wanted to get in the stocks. I didn't know
where to start and I think Tupperware. And I love it so far. So also the KKK was a pyramid
scheme. Yeah. And so we're so we're Vikings Viking. Oh yeah. You had that theory about
it. I mean it was the first pyramid scheme. It was. Yeah. So basically you recruit people
into your posse and then if you guys hit like a big lick if you guys get a bunch of loot
and gold someone from the posse can make their own posse and basically they feed and pay
this whole posse and they go on raids and then everyone gets rich. La Roe is a good
scheme. It's literally an LLM. I think the scheme is what I was thinking of. What is
it? Schemers built a pyramid. Yeah. They're like just check out this. The scheme addicts
over here. You'll get 72. They looked as a big triangle on the picture. I wonder if
you're a triangle on a blue piece of paper and he's like check out the schematics. Yeah.
The Vikings were the first pyramid scheme I think. Yeah. Or they're the first MLM.
I think the first scheme because they were making money from raiding. Yeah. I'm trying
to think what was the first pyramid scheme. It might have been maze religion. That's what
they call corn. I think it was Gaza. This might have been maze. The Giza. Sorry. Giza
and Giza are a lot different. Yeah. Gaza's what's happening over there right now. If
you can get three guys to work the meal stone with you. Wait. Does anyone know what's happening
over there? I don't know. I've been watching news lately. I know you watch the news all
the time but sometimes I actually look away when they're talking about important stuff.
You know I don't want to say Brandon Kieffer is racist but Brandon Kieffer is racist. When
he heard about the rat that got crushed into the street. What are they calling that? What?
The rat hole. Somebody ran over a rat got crushed into the street in Chicago. It happens
all the time. But yeah. People were talking about it. They called the rat hole and we
were talking about it and Brandon overheard he's like the Jews got tunnels in Chicago
too. Wait. So it's just like big. I wrote that yesterday. I forgot to say the tunnels
thing is concerning. This is like a tunnel. Why are you going to control the weather if
you have a tunnel with the point. Wait. Are you talking about a railroad of rats? You said
it's a hole. I think it's just got ran over into the ground. Why do I call it a hole?
A rat hole because it's a hole in the ground like a pothole. Yeah. A rat hole. Okay. That's
what it is. I'm imagining a giant like a movie ants. Yeah. A big underground thing where
they have and they have like the worker rats and then the warrior rats. Jews. Yeah. I wish
it birth. We got a side and we love the Jews by the way. It would be awesome if at birth
we got either assigned to work or be a soldier. That would be fucking sweet. Yeah. Did Dylan
in Spartan times we got thrown off the cliff. What? In Spartan times if you have born purple
they would have thrown you off the cliff. The Chicago Rattle has his own Wikipedia page.
There's a picture of it. They just filled the hole with cement. It's clearly a rat that
got run over into the ground. That was Samantha today. Yeah. The Chicago Rattle. Brandon thought
this was Jewish tunnels. Yeah. But so what does he think about the Jewish? Let's not
get too into that on the free. I think they're great. They're talking about the Jewish. I
think they're all I'm not scared to talk about. I'm just I don't even consider them a race
because there's only one race. The human race. That's right. Yeah. There's only one
audience. There's only one audience. The human audience. You ever use that? I never use it
for anything. It's good for the podcast. Yeah. It's good to bring up on the podcast many
times when people are like I haven't found my audience yet. I'm like you want to own
them. You want them to be in your possession. Were you a demon? Some people say they do
well in front of black audiences. Some say they do well in front of white audience. Hispanic
audiences. I do well in front of audiences. There's only one audience. Yeah. The human
audience. Is this a black room? There's only one room. The human room. Yeah. This is a
human. You're a bartender. This is not a black room. People say this is a black room. But
to me there's only one room. The human room. Beer belly is a human room. Yeah. It's not
a different. This is not an edgelord room. This is a human. It's mostly it's not like
a bunch of it's a girl room. You know a lot of girls. Yeah. The bar the way.
The bartender. Yeah. At least one. Shout out. Let's count the girls that go Rachel Swamp
and Courtney. Okay. That's about it. Yeah. That matter. So I do that matter. Grace Piatrowski
and she went on stage and talked about how there was no other women there. It's good
to be here. She's nice. Uh huh. I say grace penis trust. I say dandosimo is one of the
hosts. He's not a guy. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Uh. Start that over. Dandosimo
is one of the hosts. They're not a guy. Okay. Good. Uh. Dandosimo. I go whatever Dandosimo
gets sick. I go to Paul Boys Night. Nice. Yeah. Boys Town. It doesn't easy. So Donny
look kind of like a chimney sweep from England. I don't know what that is still. She really
looks like she's rated to show us a new Z from New Z's. She's new Z's. It's a movie
from. Is she related to sell Zeldon from practical. No. Is he still does not related to. Why
did he mispronounce the word volcano. His name is cell volcano. What about cell cocaine.
And by the way I'm not calling them Nazis anymore. I'm calling them Nazis. That's how
it's spelled. Maybe what you know what if there's no tea. What if oh oh shit. Oh my
god brain blast. The Nazi. What if what if Hitler what if Hitler was being ironic the
whole time. And he was like Nazi. Oh yeah dude. Because they what if he was just level
five this whole time and the whole like cast yeah all that what if it was just a bit.
It could have been a bit. I think I mean many ways he inspired many jokes by doing a holocaust.
Yeah dude so many jokes about the Holocaust. Yeah it's kind of Hitler's like gift to humanity
and I thought like 9 11 was like the biggest knock knock joke. Yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's
like it's New York especially. There's a certain way to think about it. Every bad thing has
ever happened was kind of funny. I mean my experience with Columbine or yeah all these
things. Yeah but it's just pure laughter for 99% of it. All these exams I've been taking
they were trying to trick you like they always say like all the below are broker broker dealers
or agents like a multiple choice or not a broker deals or not again. They'll say not
20 times in the question. They're like stealing your bed. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's people
are saying my not joke that I stole from Borat. Yeah. You ever do you ever do a multiple choice
question where it's like you know insurance and column A will cost 4% of the interest
psych. It did. Psych. Yeah. Psych. But they always say does or doesn't just try to trip
you up. I was like I'm no one's gonna I'm never gonna be in the situation where someone's
gonna be trying to trick me and I have to guess what it is. If I know there's a ton
of evidence that those kind of tests don't prepare you for anything. No. I don't know
why people still do them. There's just like they're ridiculous. I think they just want
to make them hard so they to get keep just a filter. Yeah. Yeah. How people. Yeah. Like
a pro choice exam. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pro choice. There's only one answer and it is correct.
I don't think that's an exam because I'm actually pro life. My answer to all political things
are yes to anything liberal. I'm pro choice. This movie with a it's called pro life is
one of the coolest movies I've ever seen where this girl gets impregnated by a demon and
her dad is really pro life and he shoots up the abortion clinic when they're trying to
abort a demon's baby and then she gives birth to a demon. It's one of the coolest fucking
movies I've ever seen in my whole life. Dude. It really twisted my brain with the whole like
boring pro life pro choice debate is like oh this is a whole new. I'm a religious kids
my dorm floor in Iowa that like we're religious when they were at home with their family but
like didn't really care college but they would like protest abortion clinics. So lame. Your
life is pointless. What are you doing if you put your whole life. I mean not to be rude.
My aunt listens to this and she loves wait wait. She's pro life. Very. Are you talking
about the bug or like talking about my mom's sister who came to her live show. Oh nice.
I think she was she started listening to the podcast. I don't know if she's going to listen
for very long. Does she hear that. Definitely not up her. Did she hear that I had sex with
your mom. I said this podcast is up your alley. Not. Did she hear that I had sex with your
mom. She never heard that. OK. Or maybe she did. I don't know. Sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry
about that. When you know if Mac is having sex with your mom that means your mom is pegging
back. No. No. The door. She's kind of having sex with that. Guys I got a punching bag and
there's an I installed a thing to put it on and you can see the punching bag if you look
at the other hallway. I bet it's not a sex swing. I've got to be pretty easy to punch
your bag while you're in the sex. Yeah he's a punching bag. Your bag just hanging out in
the open. I can't wait until I become a master fighter and then you call it a sex swing one
more time and I just kill you. OK. No I feel like. Yeah that's what they said in Tarkington.
You're kind of her sexual punching bag and she said that you're her favorite. Exactly
what they said in Tarkington. Yeah exactly. I was making fun of their sex wigs. If you
want to know more about Tarkington. Patron.com slash bad comedy for the writer Ali episode.
You sure you sure you won't find anything about it online. Right. We're going to race
from the map. Right. I'll get to Korea. Right. Ali sounds like a Muslim name. Ali. Yeah it's
like Muhammad Ali's brother writer. Yeah. Right or die. Riders on the stone on the corn.
That's Ramones. A guy puts corn in his ass. Right. When you pick a piece of corn and you
put it in your bag and you keister that thing. Gotta put it in your ass. Yeah. Well to shout
out to all the lonely farmers. Shouts the Ramones. Rest in peace. Joe. There we sorry. Jim Morrison.
How about the heart of your own. The Jabroni. The Jabrons. Jabrons. That's like the rock
spanned. Yeah. It's called people. Jabroni. He start Jabroni. No. It was the thing before
that. It's a wrestling thing I think. I don't know where it goes back to. I think it's one
of the lamest insults. I mean there's a Chicago. It was good. It was good. Middle school. I
like Jamoc. Yeah. I don't know if they're related. I don't like it but I like it more
than Jabroni. It's weird. I was trying to look up the history of Jamoc like because
I wanted to make sure it wasn't racist before I started saying it. It could be a Jew thing.
Well it goes back to I think mocha like calling someone a coffee or something which that could
be racial. I have to really look at it. Just say a couple of people drink mocha. No one
knows. You know I find out where the word comes from. It's kind of like a knife. Is
that poor white people used to have a lice and they called them cracker because they
were always scratching their heads and it was like crunchy. I thought it was the cracker
the whip. I heard it was actually a class thing. Oh God. And it was like they were covered
in lice and crunchy heads. I thought either it was the cracker the whip or it was like
they would eat a lot of like saltine. I always thought yeah you look like a saltine. Your
skin's dry. They don't use lotion. They ate a lot of. It kind of works on many levels.
All they could afford was saltine crackers during the Great Depression. So that's it
is actually their mouths were so dry that everyone's mouths are so dry from eating all
the saltines that the weather got dry the crops all shriveled up and started a humor
and started the dust. A saltine on precinct 13. What about saltine you kind of miss my
demons saltine. Hey Tina you should book better lineups in your show. What show the one I
run with. I don't think I've ever been able to book anyone on that. You probably could
if you said something. I have. I stop saying stuff because I did say something. I then
one time I said you know you never take my advice on this and then she felt really guilty
and then I felt really guilty for making her feel guilty. Who'd you suggest. And I'm like
I'm never going to suggest people. Who'd you suggest. Just like people I thought were
funny like Justin Golak and shit you know like you guys I suggested for guest box and
go like is amazing. My friends you know dando Cimo. I couldn't get dando Cimo on for a sec
dando Cimo has tons of hilarious dark jokes. He literally has a joke is Justin to he literally
had a joke about Ian Watkins the guy from the lost profits who went to jail for making
love to an infant would have been incredible on a dark comedy show. I'm just gonna pour
some more on there. Yeah I dressed up the language for YouTube. He made love to an infant.
You think that'll get us past the filters. You think that'll get us past the filters
back. By the way if you ever rewatch this Mac this is what I mean by not being listened
to. No but this is what I mean by me not being able to physically listen to anything else.
What you're doing. I'd be able to listen to you and do what you're doing. I know I can't
do that. My brain can't. I'm sorry dude. Not on purpose. The last thing I remember is
Justin Gullick. I almost don't even want to say it. I'd love for you to just find it
one day. Yeah. What happened after Justin Gullick. I was talking about Ian Watkins.
Who's that. Oh Cimo's talking about Ian Watkins. He's a singer from this band called the Lost
Profits and it's one of the most horrific true crime stories I've ever heard in my life.
What happened. He made love to an infant. Oh that's what I was saying to get past the
YouTube filters. Gotcha. Yeah. Well Michael Robinson said he said he's in love with Kanye
West's daughter the younger one. And so I said north. Why the only one I know is she's
older. There's a younger one who has. And then so I said instead of Mike DeComic it
should be Mike. The P. the P. the P. thing. Yeah. I just want to say the pen's dispenser.
Yeah Mike the pen's dispenser. This thing sucks that it goes out so fast. Yeah. I mean
for their way to the next episode I'll probably pour a lot more in because I got a napkin
in there. Well it's like a Tiki torch. So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to
kind of soak it. Let's load this bad boy up. Yeah. We will for the next one. Hell yeah
I want to feel like hot. We got 18 more minutes. How's the cold brew. Have you tried it. I
haven't tried it. I'm drinking Cool Steeper Club. This is for later. Wow. Cool. That's
actually Cool Steeper Club Cold Brew I think. Yeah pretty much. Coming soon it's actually
he's testing it out. Come soon. Yeah. Somebody get text me when they're here. He's going
to call you Dan. Dranjo Dranjo Drimo. Yeah. Yeah. We got eight minutes. Ha ha too. And
Tito got 15. That was great. Great experience. Can we start booking people based on merit.
Yeah meritocracy. I don't think we need to. We don't need to book people based on merit
but we need to. Why. I mean because you want diverse like. No I think like characters and
stuff you don't want to watch 10 people do the same act like there's other things to
think about besides merit. You don't want to run a show with all the same type of person.
Yeah. Yeah. You know regardless of whatever type that is there's a lot of more stuff to
think about. Mark Laval was just. Does he have any dirt too. I feel you. Have they had
it. No. Have they had my I would I would say that Mark Laval is pretty like clean. Yeah
he is. He was also when he did the show. I'm getting. But he was funny. I love Mark Laval.
This is what I'm guessing for the next lineup. Vic Pandia. I think we should start calling
it a dark show maybe. Well it's called and also I don't even know if the people who come
to the show really want it to be dark. Like like we get a lot of people in there who don't
who are just think it's a comedy show. They don't think it's. I think it's a nice. It's
a good theme. It would be but I don't think we're using it right. Well because you're
not putting people. Dark jokes in it. And also we don't have our own crowd. We have
like we're barking in people. So those people aren't like necessarily wanting to see somebody
like you know describe the texture of their own asshole. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean that
kind of dark. I mean it's like fucked up jokes. Yeah. Yeah. They don't want to. They are
not ready for Anthony Jussleneck. I did the Anthony Jussleneck on Twitch and people clipped
it. They liked it so much. Really. Yeah. I had the buttons and stuff. I was pressing
the laugh button and I just kept on tagging the same joke over and over again. That was
like we should do a quick round of just like if you guys want. Maybe we should save it
for the Patriot so we don't get canceled on YouTube. Oh yeah. Sorry guys. We're going
to save the Jussleneck segment for the Patriot on Patreon.com slash bad comedy. It's only
three ninety nine a month. It's been that since all this inflation came. It's essentially
zero dollars now with your purchasing power. Oh yeah. Do you drink one less beer a month
you alcoholic. Yeah. But if you could even stop I bet you can't control yourself. I
feel like it's bad advertising because like I do want that beer. Yeah. I think we should
do something else. It's sad if they I mean that's not somebody I want to be a patron
somebody who can't control themselves. Yeah. What else is close to three ninety nine.
I want people who are some if you're going to join the Patreon please be sound of mind.
We're going to lose. We're going to lose everybody. Well we I mean you weren't talking
shit about the patrons right you're talking shit about potential patrons potential. Yeah
so fuck you guys you're not a patron. Yeah. No but if you have like addiction issues and
everything join the podcast. Yeah. Well help you. It's an investment. So basically you
get hooked. Think about this fixed three ninety nine per month. That's like a sent a day to
keep the dot to keep the comedy. Yeah. You get to get just three ninety nine a month
and then you can help keep Mike Robinson alive. Yeah. You pay it every month. It'll be kind
of like a habit. Well we get twenty five cents. We give twenty five cents of every of every
dollar to help get a gun ball Robinson come back from Africa. Yeah. He actually got sent
back. We buy a gun ball for my Cooper to report him. Well we buy one report. We buy one gun
ball per month for my Cooper. Yeah. What are they why do they call it. So when you get just
a bit of like black coffee why do they call it cold brew cold brew is when it's cold school
one of these called a cold black black coffee. Why a cold brew shorter cooler but it doesn't
imply like that it's like because they do they do brew it in cold. They basically put
coffee in the cold water isn't cold brew always like just like strong black coffee.
No I mean cold brew is a way of making coffee from the beans and it's a cold it's processed
in cold. So are you able to get like like a lighter a lighter type of coffee. Yeah.
Yeah. Cold brew like lame. Well you know the lighter coffees have more caffeine and the
darker coffees have less because they're cooked more and the caffeine comes out. Yeah.
It's weird but true. So when I like a light roast has more caffeine. So should I order
a if I'm going to Dunkin Donuts and I want a lot of caffeine. So I want to get I don't
think they have roasts there at Dunkin Donuts. They do have cold brew but they don't have
roast like a lighter. Okay. Like I'm pretty sure a large cold brew would be the most caffeine.
I think it's the same probably as a regular black coffee. None of it's cocaine but I don't
put obviously I don't put cream or sugar in it. By the way drink 20 of those coffees
or eat one at a roll. Yeah. I don't know cream. No sugar because that's remember if you guys
listen to the past hits gain racist. Yeah. What I do put you know the what I do put in
sometimes is maybe a little bit of booger sugar if you know what I'm talking about.
And you're in your you know what I'm talking about that you make a Mexican Coke. Yeah.
Like with the real sugar. No I'm saying folks. Oh yeah. I do in the line. I do want to try
it. You know what I'm saying. I do want to try an original Coca Cola. So you get one
of the Mexican Cokes. It's just funny that they call that it's just a coke and a bottle.
So you get a Mexican has real sugar real cane sugar carbon and then you sprinkle some that
drop that booger sugar in there and then you get the real thing. You know I fucked up your
ass tray. I put lotion on it. It's not ashy anymore. My ass tray. You're asked. You haven't
asked gay. That's like a projection. Ask G's. Remember that. Yeah. That's what I was thinking
as she was like as gay. That's where you find out what a twink is.
Does it ask. Does it ask G's still exist. I don't know but it's serving cunt fun boys.
You kind of have a have a G's character now. Yeah. I'm about to always do something. He
can't say G's. I said you kind of have a G's character now. Well I was thinking Mexican.
Yeah. Or Spanish as Jesus as G's. Yeah. And then and then black as acts G's and then if
you're a Muslim woman you wear a hajib. Yeah. And it's not Adam and G's. Yeah. Check.
It's not Adam and G's. Oh it's asked. It's asked.com now. Come on. Ask Jesus way cooler.
And I was always like. Ask gay would have been a second choice.
Oh no. He spilled more. That's what happened to the buttons. That's clearly what happened
to the buttons. Whatever you just did. You've done that before and that's why the sound effects
are okay. He was trying to do the right thing. He was trying to keep the fire. I love the
fire. I did start the fire. You ever watch those videos where they make a. I mean I gotta
wait for it to go out and start the cloth. You ever watch those videos where they try
and deep fry a turkey and then the whole place lets them fire. Hopefully we could make one
of those videos. Have you ever seen those girls. So they get a giant pot and then they
fill it full of oil. Yeah. They fill it full of deep fry oil and then this is all the
side and they put a turkey in it to deep fry the full turkey. If the turkey is still frozen
it's full of water. So water and oil it boils over. Chemical reaction and it explodes in
every direction. If you ever put water in the fried oil it
shits and flies everywhere. Wet and Oppenheimer. If Oppenheimer thought
of that. Yeah. He could have just done that. Yeah. He just dropped a turkey in a pot on
a hero. We're shooting these missiles and inside the missile.
It's frozen. Turkey goes into a big pot of oil. When you drop it as it hits the turkey
drops. You can see inside the missile. That's what's happening. What is the real thing.
It'd be sick. Dude. I still believe that nothing in the past happened. That's what they
call it. Videos. Actually anything before videos were invented. It never happened. That's
how Gen Z. How about a phosphorus bomb. White phosphorus. That would be preposterous for
a bomb I'd say. I'm burning and I'm blind. That's what it's like. Well. Philosophers.
Yeah. Philosophers. I believe that everyone died at one point and that's how the pyramids
happened. Explain that. Yeah. So there was an ancient civilization that was far more
advanced than us and there was some kind of not possible already not possible. Okay.
Nobody is more advanced than me. Dude. This is this is this is some like speed of sound
talk or you're talking about like gravity. I don't think we talk about this kind of stuff.
Okay. Then don't ask for explanations. It's on my Facebook algorithm and Joe Rogan videos.
Not the news. Talking to Sarman sometimes what I'm seeing stuff Joe Rogan talks about.
I think does this guy ever read the news. Yeah. It's like he doesn't. It's like he thinks
the news is fake. Well I'm pretty sure he just agrees with everybody. So I think there
are ancient civilizations and their technology was buried under a mile or two of ice and
over time it just sort of crushes everything that would have been evidence into dust and
so we have no evidence of the far advanced technology they used to have and and then
society had to rebuild with the few humans that did survive. I think either that happened
or not. Yeah. So were these were these homo sapiens or were these homosexuals or were
they Neanderthals or were they they came back or were these guys twinks or bears.
Yeah. Or almost almost homo erectus. I think it was a homo erectus. Yeah. So was it was
it was it homo sapiens or Neanderthals because there's some sort of a bipedal creature potentially
an alien bipedal bipedal. So they will always go back in the day. I think they did technically
their bipedals. And they so that the Celeste is the word you say. They're Celesteing everybody.
No but they would come from the stars. I want to let you know they wouldn't be aliens if
they if this was their home. They would be actually citizens of the world. It was potentially
they came from space. And then they lived here. Well like Dow man classic movie from
1991. Well I don't think I don't think maybe then you had to register for citizenship. I
think if you just live here you get to become a citizen. I just think we don't know how
they built them. Yeah. It's not just the pyramids. Donald Trump says he's going to kick out all
the aliens. I got you going to build a wall over the sky. Yeah. Let's just work on the
ozone layer. Donald Trump does love Mexicans. He's just like you know. They love him. Remember
he ate that. A lot actually do like that picture. I'm not going to go. It is one of my favorite
things I've ever seen. It is wild. A lot of a lot of Mexicans do like Trump. Not during
the first round but like now they do and obviously Cubans love him and he loves them. He loves
everyone in moderation. He says yeah. Yeah. I mean that's fair. You know that's probably
goes for white people too. I mean a lot of Mexicans are Republican because they're Catholic
and they hate abortion. Can I do an anti add real quick. Don't use ask.com and please email
them to change change back to ask Gives sign our petition to get Gives's job. We want Gives.
Yeah. We miss we miss you. Oh and I'll add a real plug. I'm gonna post that link soon
for the wooden shoes and the Vkeeper outfits coming soon. So they post and I'm gonna do
a little plug 15 lawnmower max lawnmower manfacts coming soon behind the secrets here. That's
on that's unpublished is hidden. Oh shit. Someone's theory on a Facebook comment about
the pyramids. It was that they used a bumblebees and the vibrations that that's awesome. And
the answer is like saying that you could they could carry the rocks because the frequencies
and the vibrations of what if you give a bunch of bumblebees under it and they would
create some magnetic thing and then call it residence and then some ants and maybe it
may be raising the ants maybe what if the Egyptians were big ants you know and ants
can lift like a bunch of times their weight. Yeah. Dinosaurs did or no no I was thinking
that the Egyptians were ant people. Yeah. They're big ants and that's how they're strong
to do it. And the story. I just solved it. Didn't Jewish people build the pyramids with
their the slaves or the schemers. So maybe they were all know if they are bugs you're
saying no no no no no no no no no no. Mac I feel like you might have caused the problem
not solved one shout out to Moses. That's a pretty I mean that's an awesome accomplishment
for the Jewish people if they build the pyramids. They should have called him Moses they should
have called him Mosey since he was mosey and around the desert all this or Mozart because
he died in a popper's grave. Yeah. I think maybe aliens are coming to
symphony. Yeah. What. I think aliens are checking in on us they're like oh they're finally getting
closer back to what they used to be. So now that's why they're interested now. But I think
that there are they called them the sky gods were like that before the Egyptians. Yeah
that we have people that believe that there's a sky god. You know. Yeah. A lot. Like most
people but it could explain people's perceptions of angels and sky gods. I think that God is
dead and because we killed them that makes us gods. Yeah. I've always thought I was
God. Yeah. In the far I consider us the Uberman. Yeah. People call it a God complex. I call
it God simple. I'm simply I'm a god. Yeah. Yeah. I do have a God complex. Yeah. I think
it's going to be a God girl summer. But God my life is calm but I also don't want to save
my save my name in vain. So I have a gosh complex. That's really good. God summer. Speaking
of considering yourself a God you seen this guy around the comedy scene who's like God
he got in trouble for stalking Taylor Swift. What. And then he's been showing up at open
mics and then he basically just talks about how he's like God. Basically he's like I it's
like honestly Mac he's kind of doing your bit but way better. Yeah. He's a complete psychopath.
He goes on stage. He's like I'm I'm awesome. I'm rich. Me and Taylor Swift are soulmates.
I'm wearing a Louis Vuitton right now. Yeah. He's like this weird. He's like a mental case.
You know you know in Calico the time I tell people like I'll find that I'll find the news
story real fast. You know more context in college. I tell everyone I tell like everyone
I was popular as fucking high school. So it's a bit. It's the lamest thing you can say.
Yeah. I was popular as fucking high school. That's fun. He kind of did that too. But differently.
Well how long has he been doing things. I don't know probably a week. He's a week in
a comedy. Sounds pretty weak. Sounds like he's stealing my bit and just expanding on it.
It's easy to do it to a higher degree if you already have it all laid out and written out.
You just add you do the same thing and add on to it. I'm sure you see and you do it.
I'm sure it has. And the jury's out. I win. But you've never stalked Taylor Swift.
Oh wait the jury's out. You know what I'm saying. The jury.
Yeah. You jury out on your. So we got it. We had time for plugs folks.
Love the fires out. It's time for plugs. Dylan what would you like to plug?
Come see me at Zaynys on the third of February 1115 and follow me at Comedy Baddie.
Guys the third is a Saturday Saturday. It's this coming Saturday folks. Check it out.
The late show with Calvin Evans. Hell yeah. I might be Adam Addis.
You might have his acne hair. It's way not as good as Calvin Evans.
But that's good for you because that means that you'll be funnier compared to the host.
I'm just so proud of a good time and all the audiences.
I was sort of saying it was Adam Anvil. What is that?
Like the thing that the runner would drop on the coyote.
Oh yeah. Yeah. The big metal thing. And then I thought it was Adam Addis like math.
And then I thought it was Adam Advil. But yeah. Good luck on that show.
I wish it was Adam Adderall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else?
Any of the shows? Oh how was Epstein's Island?
I was good. It was like an older crowd than it's like all.
And it's like people coming and going probably right.
Because it's a casino. Some of them. But where did you perform?
In the island. I've done that one before. Dude. It's weird.
Yeah. I mean I did it years ago. We'll expand on it during Patreon.
I want to hear more. If you want to hear more about Epstein's
Island Resort and Casino played Epstein's Island in Michigan.
Patreon.com slash bad comedy Jason plugs. Go to my Jason Melton Twitch.
I'm trying to stop doing stand up. No more podcasts.
Just be a Twitch guy. Stand up from home. Like Hassan.
I got a standing desk. You're going to stand up at home.
Right. A little bit. He said no more podcasts. Mac.
I don't know if you caught that. J.K. I love. I love the podcast.
That's fine. What was the most. That was supposed to shock everybody.
And then I started talking about something else. I did miss that part.
But yeah. Jason Melton Twitch on Twitch and then also Jason Melton.
I did want to ask if you had any albums coming out. I know I'm coming out.
Yeah. Like over a year ago and is coming out. We're going to record it then.
So you decide to show if you got a time machine you fucking loser.
That's not nice. I'm sorry. Money.
And you. Sorry. Kind of just mad right now.
I couldn't. There's so many Taylor Swift stockers.
I couldn't figure out which one was the guy who opened my gun Thursday.
I'm a corn stalker. Oh I'm going to see somebody took a video of his set.
So I'll see if I can. Yeah. Watch that.
Yeah. In the intermediary time. Hey folks.
Follow me a bad boy comedy. The best name you can get on every platform.
Catch me at every comedy club in the city. Catch me outside.
So laugh factories and he's comedy bar. Basically there every night.
You'll probably see me on the homepage. One more plug.
Check out Nathan Lund stuff. He's hilarious. Oh Nathan Lund.
We love Nathan Lund and we check out everything.
And then we like Sam Talent. We don't love Sam talent.
We like we're friends. We're cool. Yeah. Yeah. Very cordial.
Yeah. He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy.
He doesn't hate Dylan. No he still has to apologize to me
and give me a guest spot and sit and watch the whole thing.
Yeah. That's not going to happen. But we're not all you know this is.
I'm sorry man.
This is not by part. We might have. Yeah. Because he has to.
He'll just go. You're so mad at him. You're trying to punish him.
That's what I'm hearing. No. It's just if you want to win back
my friendship before I blow up. Well you're trying to punish him by
making him. Dylan. All you gotta say is how you're trying
to teach him a thing or two about how to write a joke.
Dylan. It's a two to one vote. Our podcast is a friend of their podcast.
Okay. Yeah. I don't know. They kind of were supposed to.
I don't know why you're trying to hurt Sam by making him watch yourself.
Because he was going to be a friend of me. I could like use my friend.
We're friends of theirs. He made fun of me on his podcast.
So why make him suffer and why. He also made fun of Peyton Ruddy.
Because he deserves to suffer. He went in on Peyton.
Also our next live show is going to be in. We should call him Peyton Ruddy.
Next live show in April. April probably. Play the food.
Next live show in April probably. Yeah. We're supposed to have another live
show in April. We'll get you information on that as soon
as we get it. So that's the podcast live at Comedy Bar.
Yeah. That's the month after February. We have talents.
One of my biggest enemies. We skip February too.
So we can celebrate like or I guess remember Black History Month.
All the bad things that happen and then celebrate Black people as a whole.
You know, it's really important to us. And Dan is calling.
Oh, we're not going to say who the guest is.
Yeah. Actually, actually, can you keep both?
Hey, what's up?
You're on your own. You're on bad comedy.
I'm walking up to the back of Max House.
Oh, it might be unlocked in the back. Don't show the way.
It is. Who do you hate? Who do you hate?
What? Who do you? Who do you hate?
You know, I can't stand.
Oh, wait, I got through the gate.
Extremely secure gate.
We're not gatekeepers.
Oh, no. And then you just walk up to I don't want to give too much away.
All right, we'll see you soon.
You know, it's just it's the second one up.
Figure it out.
That was Zach Orion.
We're having him on as the guest.
And three enemies.
Dylan, do you want to say anything to the our friends?
Oh, hey, hey, we'll see you not.
Seriously, no, no, we love you guys.
And thanks for tuning in.
I'm buying the Sears Tower.
If you're just tuning in, bye.