1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,960
Hey everybody, welcome to bad comedy podcast. I'm Johnny Cash and I'm here with Charles

2
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:15,000
Melton. I'm here with whale Jennings and Dilly Nelson. Welcome to the show. How are you all

3
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,440
doing? I'm doing good. How are we doing boys? Good. I bought this shirt for that Johnny Cash

4
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:23,200
song I did, but it came in too late. It rules. I love this shirt. I was super jealous when

5
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:27,000
I saw it when I walked in. I haven't gotten a cool shirt in a while. Dude, your swag is

6
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:35,800
going downhill. You look good again. Once again. You got my orange Floyd shirt. I'm purchasing

7
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:40,240
a few buildings in downtown Chicago. I haven't been able to afford. I'm buying the Sears

8
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,880
Tower. They're not very liquid right now. Yeah, I'm not very liquid right now. Yeah.

9
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,760
All my liquid has been put into the Sears Tower purchase I'm working on. Yeah, when

10
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:53,440
when I'm underwriting the loan right now, when Willis bought the tower from Sears. I

11
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:59,800
was like, I was like, what you doing there? Willis? Yeah, seriously. And I said, I'm

12
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,920
still going to call the Sears Tower. Yeah, when Willis is like, I'm changing the name

13
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:06,800
of the Sears Tower. I got so upset. I was like, what are you talking about? No, no,

14
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:11,000
I heard that he was buying the Sears Tower. I was like, are you serious, dude? Yeah, you

15
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:16,680
can't be serious right now. Maybe 1% of people call it the Willis Tower. Yeah, that's only

16
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:22,720
the probably when I first saw the Sears Tower. I didn't understand it. I said, why so serious?

17
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:29,000
Yeah, people that call the Willis Tower Blair Porchop, MC Lightsea, who all sticks with

18
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:33,640
stuff really seriously. Willis is musical in. I'm not happy with the French what they

19
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:40,920
did to the Eiffel Tower made it a sex position. I think that's that's pretty gross. They

20
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:45,800
turn the French are so sexual they turn everything into position. Yeah. So you're a bit French

21
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:51,440
right? It's a devil's threesome. They call it because it's two D's and one V.

22
00:01:51,440 --> 00:02:00,280
Naja toa. It's also sinful because it's two men in this sex thing. Very, very sinful.

23
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:07,520
They are the gayest country. You ever been involved in a mirror boy? Yeah, no idea what

24
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:14,000
that is. It's a wee wee one part onion. I have part carrot, half part celery. I would love

25
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:19,360
a pastry right now. Yeah, maybe some some of us is I don't care. Can we get some more

26
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:27,800
flame on? We have a new fire. We flame on flame. This podcast pretty flaming. Is there

27
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:31,560
a spark kid? I think there's a character who says flame on and then they become engulfed

28
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:38,240
in flames. I know that you're like X more maybe or Johnny flame Johnny flame when you

29
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,400
rock climb. Yeah, we called the guy Johnny Flamin High School, but it was not because

30
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:48,480
of the fire. Good. When you rock climb, they say because of his ling is a wandering eyes

31
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,160
in the locker room. Yeah, this sounded like something that you said earlier. I was never

32
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,400
looking at his eyes. Let's just say that when you rock climb, they say on belay belay is

33
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:01,400
on climbing climb on. It's kind of like what you were saying a little bit. Mirror boy. I

34
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:06,440
don't know. I'm like belay. I've never heard that. Yeah, I'm also never climbed. I'm like

35
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:12,960
not a climb. I'm like, let me just climb the rocks. They their name is Fay. I was gonna

36
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:19,200
say Fay. Yeah. That's when people tell me, yeah, you gotta have trigger discipline with

37
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:26,080
a gun. Yeah, have to not a free American. Yeah, right. Yeah, trigger discipline is how

38
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:31,560
we won the Revolutionary War. Yeah, exactly. And became a country. Yeah, trigger discipline

39
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:37,160
that came in handy during World War Two when we were killing 30,000 people a day. Give

40
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:43,280
me a break. All right, yeah. We had a productive is a rankings. World War One, World War Two,

41
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:48,280
World War Three. What do you got? I'm gonna say World War Three is gonna be number one.

42
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:52,760
And you could pick it for it. So it's reverse order for me. And we need one reason because

43
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:58,080
it's gonna be the war. The war that actually ends all wars. Because the world is this.

44
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,960
I was the first person to say this, but I don't know what kind of weapons are gonna

45
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,640
have in World War Three, but in World War Four, they're gonna fight it with sticks and

46
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:11,640
stones. Yeah, nice. Yeah, you still have from Dan Carlin. I know Einstein said that.

47
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:17,280
Right. I heard that in Oppenheimer. Yeah, he talks about it. I've been doing a deep

48
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:23,280
but I didn't steal it. They stole it. I stole it for me. People didn't realize it, but I'm

49
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:28,720
a level genius. Einstein can't even comprehend. I my favorite World War One because he's a

50
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:34,480
lot like mustard gas and stuff. And I'm a Chicago guy. So I like mustard. I only put

51
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,960
mustard on my hot dogs. No ketchup. I'll tell you. You're there trying to use ketchup

52
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,480
gas. I said, yeah, get that shit out of here. I'm from Chicago. Yeah, that should don't

53
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:46,480
work. Let's get some dogs after this. And hot dog, of course, is a slur for a person

54
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:51,480
from Belgium. I'll be right back folks. I'm getting some more, some more magic, some more

55
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:58,880
magic for fire. What is our magic fire? See technology and it's really it's magic at the

56
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:03,680
end of the day. Yeah, we're gonna have make fire. Yeah, like man, it's magic. You know,

57
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:09,080
I mean, never believe it's not so. All right. Yeah, the more you know, magic, you can manipulate

58
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:15,720
people. Yeah. One time a girl called me a manipulator manipulator. I barely know her,

59
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:23,560
but if I knew her better, it would be easier. I looked up manipulation, what it means. And

60
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:29,120
I realized this is actually useful to yeah, they should have called it war manipulation

61
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:33,800
because that's who's always nice. I mean, you gotta have that's the people who use it.

62
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:39,680
They gaslight us with the name even you gotta have a burger guy always like people. If you

63
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,760
want, if you want to be a burger Queens, if you want to be a politician, you gotta manipulate

64
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:49,640
the masses. Yeah, hell yeah, bro. But I that's what's all about what I do is I manipulate

65
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:57,520
I manipulate you early. You know, nice. Yeah, you gotta manipulate it before it's to manipulate

66
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:04,600
well, no, I manipulate early them way early on. And they don't realize they've been manipulated.

67
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:13,600
Yeah, yeah, I always I always hand nipulate a breast chicken breast hand nipulate. Yeah.

68
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:19,600
All right. I'll be right back. Why grab the supplies to the magic spells to read light

69
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:26,000
our fire Satan. So we're talking fire sticks and stones. I've been doing a deep dive on

70
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:32,160
the pyramids and who built them? Oh, yeah, who built them? I think that was actually there

71
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:40,840
were was humans were way more advanced than us now even a long time ago. Oh, yeah. And

72
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:48,880
then there was a catastrophe that the evidence is hidden under layers of then how do you

73
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:54,640
know it? This is just from Joe Rogan. Oh, I've been watching too much Joe Rogan. It's

74
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:59,440
on my Facebook algorithm. Yeah, there's all these videos that are like, you know, human

75
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:05,520
beings didn't have the tools to make the pyramids. But then what if they were I go, give me

76
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:12,680
20 huge blocks, I'll make the pyramids in two weeks with my bare hands. Yeah, it's Tetris.

77
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:17,680
It's Tetris, dude. If you have a work ethic, the pyramids are conspiracy is a fucking pussy.

78
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:23,600
Oh, it's so hard to make a pyramid. Shut up. You know, pyramid scheme even. So the only

79
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:30,200
other option the only other option is aliens. Like what what can it be just like some strong

80
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:37,640
guys? Yeah, or like they invented a thing with leverage. Give me four strong guys. Yeah,

81
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:44,800
give me four my best friends and I pay them in pizza. Yeah, who ever see saw a movie day?

82
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:53,960
Who are four strong guys we know? For strong as Moabed Moabed is not strong. Yeah. Well,

83
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:59,280
Dylan is kind of strong. It looks like they fire him out of a can Moabed Scott Darling.

84
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:06,840
I guess. No, no. We need but we need tall guys for when they're bringing the box up.

85
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,360
You know, Scott, it's hard to push up from the bottom. Darling has a Lenny quality, but

86
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:17,040
I don't know if it's strength. Yeah. You know, Lenny could be two things about Lenny. He

87
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:22,680
was very strong and he likes soft stuff. We need to solve skulls. It's about leverage.

88
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:28,360
Like we need Dale on the seesaw. Yeah, launch the rocks onto the top. Oh, no, you're right.

89
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:35,040
Yeah, to leverage the two ton blocks. So yeah, Dale for sure. No question about that. And

90
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,640
then anybody else would do and then we'll and then we'll just get John Hagar because

91
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:43,400
he's the tallest for whatever tall thing we need. Who built the periods though? Am I

92
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:49,120
right? Yeah, yeah. Ladies built the period. Like, well, I have to have a headache from

93
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:55,520
my period. It's a period scheme. I'm like, welcome to welcome to be is kind of a period.

94
00:08:55,520 --> 00:09:00,640
Welcome to be an alcoholic and having migraines all the time. Yeah, ever heard of that? Yeah.

95
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:07,160
We have a that was sucked to be a woman. Alcoholism. You have your period and you're really hung

96
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:14,280
over. The worst headache. Dude. What about why are girls never on their comma? Huh? They're

97
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,120
always on their period. Yeah, what happened? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, bitch, call me when you're

98
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,120
on your semi colon. Yeah, why don't you call me when you're on your ampersand? Are you

99
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:25,160
on your around? Do you have a semi colon because you had surgery on your butt? Sometimes I'm

100
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:30,760
on my you have the semi colon. Well, they call it they call the they call the ampersand.

101
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:35,560
Oh, you got an ampersand ampersand is the lamest name for a fucking thing. What the

102
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:41,160
why? They call it that? Well, they're called the and sign. Yeah. I hate fucking synonyms,

103
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:46,080
dude. I program my computer to warn me whenever there's an amber sand. I said an amber sand

104
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:53,240
alert. Yeah. Like whenever there's one anywhere. Yeah, I get a text on my phone letting me know

105
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:57,840
there's an amber sand. How many notifications do you have? Well, it buzzes everyone's phone

106
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:07,440
in the area to let everyone know there's an amber sand alert. Grammer Nazi. Yeah, a little

107
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:14,560
bit. I know a girl named Ann Per Sand. We're talking about pop pop Baratsy and then Mac

108
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:21,560
you mentioned Papa. Yeah, Papa Nazi is kind of like a Papa Roche. But not see Papa. And

109
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:28,400
I was like, Jews remind me Papa Nazi. That's my dad's name. Yeah. I can't remember the

110
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,640
Papa Roche song. What's the big pop? I think scars is one of them. There was a bigger one

111
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:38,640
than that. I used to play at this bar when I was in a band, JJ Kelly's and Bartender's

112
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:45,320
and their big claim to fame was Papa Roche played here before. It was like a bar. Oh,

113
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:49,240
man. Also, we should change the name of Papa Nazi. That's some fucking Italian shit. Papa

114
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:54,960
Roche. Yeah, I wish you just call it picture takers of celebrities. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why

115
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,160
did they get to have a fancy French name? Annoying picture probably a sex movie. French

116
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:04,120
name. We'll call him exact annoying gay picture takers when you put a camera up your butt.

117
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:08,480
That's the popper. If I might somebody in the paparazzi, I'd give him a piece of my mind

118
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:14,280
and knock him out for no reason. I would use my mind to control my hands to beat them down.

119
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:18,280
Yeah. Sometimes people think they were violent, but it's just because they're not violent

120
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:24,520
at all. Yeah. It's not that we're that crazy violence compared to no violence. And then

121
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:31,000
being fucking little pussies. We're we're really just normal guys. They are just so

122
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:36,400
such pussies that like, you know, yeah, they could they probably could even build the pyramids

123
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:41,280
with their bare hands. No, no, they would never poke a bear. Yeah. Yeah, they would

124
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:47,320
never poke. I mean, the bear, Facebook poke. They would never poke the hornet's poke a

125
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:52,760
bear. Mm hmm. I shake a bear's hand in mutual respect. Mm hmm. I shake people down and

126
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:59,600
join the Patreon. True that. I'm a shake down Tom Ryan for you. Thank you to all of our

127
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,320
patrons, by the way, we love you all Zeke Zugler. As you know, your package is in the

128
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:11,600
mail and I'll reveal on the guest episode, the thing I put in there because because

129
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:16,960
in case it doesn't get to you until then, because it'll be Wednesday. I sent it Friday

130
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,400
and it's standard shipping. How are you going to get to him trying to figure out what's

131
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:26,880
in there? What's in the box? I'll it's your wife's head. What's in the box? Spoiler alert.

132
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:31,760
It's your wife's head. It's very special and I'll reveal it. Hopefully it's I hope he

133
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:36,400
gets it before I reveal it, but whatever. But I can't say what it is on here. But Zeke

134
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,760
gets on the way confirmed. I got a shipping number. But when I typed in the shipping

135
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,200
number, it said invalid. So I'm really hoping that is actually on the way. Or maybe it's

136
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:48,640
already there. I remember one time serial core put my wife's box in the head and sent

137
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,720
it to me and I opened it. I was like, Oh, good. It's my wife's head. I ordered this

138
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:58,920
two weeks ago. I didn't know when it was coming in. Yeah. Next time I'm getting expedited

139
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:03,880
shipping on this head. Whenever I order a team, we'll get 100 items. Yeah. I'm literally

140
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:07,480
like, what's in the box? Isn't it crazy how many heads they get stuff into that orange

141
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:13,280
patch? Well, they're actually being pretty financially responsible. Yeah. But my but

142
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:18,720
also it makes it cheaper for shipping. But like they pack everything like they can pack

143
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:26,040
100 items into a like a small like a frisbee. It's the clown car of packaging. Yeah. They

144
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,600
know what they're doing. Shout out to T moves shop like a billionaire. That's their slogan.

145
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,600
Mm hmm. Pretty sweet. They have billionaire glasses and the model for it is stitches the

146
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:40,240
wrapper. So whoa, those billionaire glasses, folks. Well, we're on the here. I do. We should

147
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:47,240
do our ads. We forgot to last week. You know, what the T add comedy? Shout out to the cool

148
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:54,040
steeper club. They have sponsors for tea. If you sign up at cool steeper club.com. We

149
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:59,920
get money promo code, bad comedy. Don't just buy it. Put in promo code, bad comedy and

150
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:05,680
Tom will love you. He's the man. Yeah, we're friends with the CEO, Tom. Yep. We're friends

151
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:12,760
with CEOs. It's not a big deal. So as we're all CEOs ourselves, but it's it's tea delivery.

152
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:19,960
They deliver tea, ice tea to your door in in tea bags. Yeah. Well, there's a little blue

153
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:27,240
bag of it's cold brew tea and how long does it last you? Do I mean, I get it's a subscription

154
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,120
I get once a month, they give me four bags of tea. It lasts me pretty much. Sometimes

155
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:35,760
I drink it. I used to drink it before the month and then my mom didn't finish her subscription.

156
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,520
So she gave me all her old ones. So I actually have like a bunch of I would say I might kind

157
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:44,120
of stocked up right now with tea. I would say that I drink it every month. I mean, if you

158
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:52,000
if you think about the cost to like the how much you enjoy it, you're actually making

159
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:58,040
money. Yeah, pretty much. It's so good. You get 20% off. Yeah, you're making plus it gives

160
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:02,000
you the caffeine to work harder to get to the next. It does. They have green tea and there's

161
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:07,000
also caffeine free for nighttime. Yeah, try one. Yeah, sure. You know, I like to do this

162
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:11,360
test to make sure they're staying up to date. I'm kind of this tea by the way, it's called

163
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:16,480
the Kenyan black, which that was my favorite president. It tastes just like Obama. Let's

164
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:25,880
see that. Yeah, yeah, the Kenyan black and then go to Brains by C on Instagram. That's

165
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,400
all I'm gonna say there. There's also I had a Christmas, but it's awesome. I was like

166
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:35,400
Santa Claus. And then of course, folks, if you want to hear the good episodes with the

167
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:41,040
guests, so that are normally two to three hours long and there's like 300 of them. Go

168
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:46,800
to patreon.com slash bad comedy. I just noticed that this it's gonna look like Dylan is on

169
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:53,560
fire all of a sudden. It's kind of rules. Should we move it that way? I mean, you can still

170
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,160
kind of see his face. Move it to the well that's gonna obscure him more. No, no, I mean,

171
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:03,400
like I know the side of him is like past it stays. That's better. I look like I'm in

172
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:09,920
Dale's head. Dale's head. We're sitting in the corner of the bar. No, well, I should

173
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:14,200
move it back and to stay leaned like that. So it's not when I move your head so we can

174
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:19,600
see how on fire it is. Now we're good. How are you gonna do it? If you're gonna do it

175
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:24,600
in your own, your lean prescription going. I'm just yeah. How's your lean prescription?

176
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:30,680
Well, my doctor up my dosage. Yeah, now I'm supposed to take a four to the head like whoa.

177
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:35,320
Wait, no, you're already taking that. Are you taking two doses? Yeah, I'm doing that

178
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:43,920
twice a night. Oh my. At the same time. Oh, shit. I think this is a go puff. Maybe. Hello.

179
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:55,840
Hello. You're on bad comedy podcast. Okay, just hit number two on the gate. Yeah, but

180
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,360
go pop should give you like a pin number to give me. Oh, I don't know that. Hold on. Do

181
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:17,000
you know how to do this? So you ordered coffee and was it 50 60 donuts? By the way, those

182
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:28,640
are just for me. You just see the pin out loud. 9126. Oh, Oh,

183
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:33,920
doxxed. All right. Then it's Buzz unit two and we'll come grab. No one's listening live.

184
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:38,760
We would never do this. I think you better sign up. Yeah, if it was on the page, I mean,

185
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:47,280
crazy would happen. Yeah. She has no idea. She's just she's a disconnected. I think so.

186
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:52,520
Yeah. All right, folks, that was our special guest. Lamari the gopo driver. I hope you

187
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:58,320
did not sound like a Lamari did it? Well, I can't sound very Lamari to me. Yeah. Well,

188
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,920
maybe maybe that's a female version of Lamar. Yeah, it's my favorite Mario brother. Well,

189
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:10,200
I like cat. I like Cal Mario. Cal Mario. Yeah, that's my favorite fish Mario. Yeah.

190
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:15,120
Yeah. My friend Duracell dude, he got locked up. Yeah. Are we supposed to do something

191
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:19,840
out there now? No, Mike, Mike is gonna grab it. Oh, nice. So Mike is kind of doing chores

192
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:26,960
for Mac. Yeah. Do you do you know he helps you? You don't pay him? So it's kind of like

193
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:31,360
it works for you for free. What's that called? It's like an indentured server. You and they

194
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:37,440
live in your quarters. Either listen to me slave or indecent serving. Is it also true?

195
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,840
You changed the name of this place from your condo to your plantation is also true. They

196
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:49,920
changed Mike's name to Toby. No, Mike. It's not true. It's kind of a lot of it. No, it's

197
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:54,280
actually changing Mike's name to Martin Luther. Shout out to Michael. Sorry. Sorry. I thought

198
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,600
I was being a good guy and then he offers to be helpful with things because he doesn't

199
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:03,600
pay rent. So school, they think we worked out, you know, yeah, if he was forced. Oh, so

200
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:09,880
he's your boyfriend. Yeah, we're domestic. So you can read some of your I could read

201
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:14,160
well observation. So I don't know if it'll help your case. Is it always always a Mike's

202
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:18,560
honest. I can read common law married like if you live with your woman for like so many

203
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,400
years, you come common law married. Yeah. What if you accidentally had a roommate for that

204
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:27,520
long? Yeah. And then all of a sudden you're like, thank you so much. Love you. By the

205
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:34,200
way, you get your Red Bull. Thank you. What if you actually became common law married

206
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:43,520
to your just your buddy that they chuck and lairied you? Have you kind of they're pretty

207
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:48,160
much so the idea of it is like you're pretty much married. Well, but you don't have to be

208
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:54,000
like legally married. Well, you don't know. You don't have to like there's beast like

209
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:59,400
in love. I guess is acknowledging that you've lived together for so long. So something happens

210
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,680
because in Chuck and Larry, they were like checking to see if they were actually gay

211
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:07,680
with each other. Did they? I didn't see. Yeah, they're investigating them the whole time.

212
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,920
Directors cut. Oh, you mean the the state was because they're getting insurance or whatever.

213
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:18,720
I forget what the point of the yeah, it was so that something with money with pension

214
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:25,120
and Adam Sandler's kids being screwed over. He dies. How about a movie? It's like a mix

215
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:29,560
of what he just called me and get term life insurance. Fucking it is. How about a movie?

216
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,680
It's like a mix of Brewster's millions and Chuck and Chuck and Larry. And what you have

217
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:40,520
to do is you have to be gay for a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I basically

218
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:45,160
just pay this guy to be gay. Have you heard that bear naked men's song? How much would

219
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:49,360
it cost you to be gay? Have you heard the bear naked men's song? No. It's like if I

220
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:57,400
had a million dollars, I'd suck me a penis and I would get after the head. It's been

221
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:03,120
two weeks since I soaked a dick. I wonder if that was a plot to attract more fans by

222
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:07,960
calling themselves that bear naked ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Probably to get more clicks.

223
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:12,840
They probably were. They invented clickbait. That is. Yeah. Honestly. That is. Yeah. Yeah.

224
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:17,560
So you. Oh, they bear naked ladies. You're you're you're checking out bear naked ladies

225
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:23,320
right now. I'm coming over. Our band is called Free Sex. As I was driving here, I had a

226
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:28,000
vision of the future where everything is clickbait. Like you go to college and you open your textbook

227
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:34,040
and everything is like pop up ads and stuff. Like books aren't going to exist. I was thinking

228
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,560
about how people hate a block of text. They said it's bad. Yeah. Bad people won't watch

229
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,240
it. It's like they're we're going to get rid of blocks of text. There's going to be no

230
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:45,800
books. It's going to be like it's going to be like the AOL the original AOL when all

231
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:52,280
those pop ups come up. We should call her. I love AOL. Yeah. I love A. M. You've got

232
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:58,960
mail messenger. They make a movie based on that. I love the A. M. You imagine being

233
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,760
a kid growing up when you had to go to school online when you're that young and you can't

234
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,680
like meet anybody because of quarantine. Yeah. If like two years it was like that.

235
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,760
There's going to be so many. There's going to be completely messed up. There's going

236
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:18,280
to be so many S. C.'s. Yeah. Sorry. S. S. It's like it's stunted. There's going to be

237
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:23,280
so many people that have done. I did not realize that the that Columbine was related to the

238
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:30,040
S. S. S. There's going to be a lot more S. S. is because there's been so many kids that

239
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:37,520
have been just like isolated. You know. Yeah. They're all the losers. Thanks government.

240
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:43,360
Yeah. Geez. Although they say. Wait. Did I already say the word. The C. I didn't say

241
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:48,960
it. What's the C. word. Child. No. That one thing that was going around. Climbed media.

242
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:54,080
As long as we don't make a stand. I saw a sign of I used to love the neighborhood. Bucktown

243
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:57,560
is my favorite neighborhood in Chicago. Fuck down. Fuck down. Yeah. That's what it was

244
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:03,840
for me when I was living there. Oh hell yeah. And I saw a sign that says I'm driving. And

245
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:10,240
as I'm getting into Bucktown there's a big billboard. It says what's that fucking STD

246
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:16,000
that starts with an S. Siflis. Yeah. Siflis can kill your baby. Get an STD check today.

247
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:21,600
Or else like we're going on in this neighborhood. They have to advertise this to everybody coming

248
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:27,280
off the highway. It also killed Al Capone and yeah true. It also killed Al Capone's

249
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:31,560
baby. I feel like I'm gangster. I feel like I'm kind of the new Al Capone of Chicago

250
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:38,040
and in a lot of instances that way is you know. So you have Siflis. Yeah. No capone.

251
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:47,680
I have a beat. Pistilis. It's right. Pistilis. Nice. Siflis sounds like the name Phyllis

252
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:52,760
like like from office. Yeah Phyllis is musical in like sit. Why why is it why is the name

253
00:23:52,760 --> 00:24:00,520
Phyllis in there. That's a good name. Phyllis is also a musical in in Chicago and division.

254
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:06,440
It's like maybe be more creative. He's a good man. Random many shows. You know Keegan Buckingham

255
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:12,240
the bicycle comedian. He went on. He went on. America's got talent and then they made fun

256
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:16,800
of him and it didn't help him at all. What happened to Keegan O'Connell. He had a baby.

257
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,160
I think he's doing baby stuff. I seen him less and less after he had a baby. Did he

258
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:24,280
move though. I don't think he's completely gone. I've seen him ever. Doesn't seem like

259
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,480
he's friends with Keegan. They're both from New Orleans. Oh really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

260
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:35,480
Shout out to because I saw that someone joined my job with his name. I touched him to see

261
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:40,800
if that was him. Yeah. Yeah. He was like no. Yeah. He would be that kind of guy who would

262
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:47,160
join that place because the last place he was working was like a Foxtrot convenience

263
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:51,960
store. Yeah. I mean I mean it's like a bougie Walgreens. I don't want to talk about work

264
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:56,720
but it's a place where if you don't have a lot of people don't have degrees and they

265
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,600
can end up making a lot of money. It's what I'm going to say. Yeah. And they can also

266
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,600
a lot of people if they don't work hard they're not going to make money. A lot of people don't

267
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:08,760
make a lot of money. Yeah. Because they don't put in work. Yeah. Because they can't find

268
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,960
it's it's meritocracy. No I've been up blind. I only have two people on my team. You got

269
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:18,200
to get up blind in a down line. I only have two people on down line. You have like a little

270
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:23,640
baby pyramid. I'm a producer. I'm not a I seen your down line as more of a downs line.

271
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:30,040
Nice. I'm a producer. I once I pass the sixty three I will have millions of dollars under

272
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:38,280
management. That's right. He works for. Nope. La Roe La Roe's a pizza. Oh my God. They're

273
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:45,280
sold. They sold leggings. There was a pyramid scheme that's like leggings. Yeah. There's

274
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:49,360
ones with like makeup. Yeah. Actually go door to door. That's that one called. That's

275
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:55,840
a famous one. Yeah. Like Macy Gray or something. Yeah. It's called. It's called something like

276
00:25:55,840 --> 00:26:00,520
that. I don't know. Mary Kay. Mary Kay. I just wanted to get in the stocks. I didn't know

277
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:06,280
where to start and I think Tupperware. And I love it so far. So also the KKK was a pyramid

278
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:13,800
scheme. Yeah. And so we're so we're Vikings Viking. Oh yeah. You had that theory about

279
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:18,480
it. I mean it was the first pyramid scheme. It was. Yeah. So basically you recruit people

280
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:24,680
into your posse and then if you guys hit like a big lick if you guys get a bunch of loot

281
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:31,000
and gold someone from the posse can make their own posse and basically they feed and pay

282
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:36,240
this whole posse and they go on raids and then everyone gets rich. La Roe is a good

283
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:41,240
scheme. It's literally an LLM. I think the scheme is what I was thinking of. What is

284
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:47,680
it? Schemers built a pyramid. Yeah. They're like just check out this. The scheme addicts

285
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:53,440
over here. You'll get 72. They looked as a big triangle on the picture. I wonder if

286
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:58,280
you're a triangle on a blue piece of paper and he's like check out the schematics. Yeah.

287
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:04,480
The Vikings were the first pyramid scheme I think. Yeah. Or they're the first MLM.

288
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,920
I think the first scheme because they were making money from raiding. Yeah. I'm trying

289
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:14,640
to think what was the first pyramid scheme. It might have been maze religion. That's what

290
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:21,200
they call corn. I think it was Gaza. This might have been maze. The Giza. Sorry. Giza

291
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:26,640
and Giza are a lot different. Yeah. Gaza's what's happening over there right now. If

292
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:32,760
you can get three guys to work the meal stone with you. Wait. Does anyone know what's happening

293
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:38,040
over there? I don't know. I've been watching news lately. I know you watch the news all

294
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:43,080
the time but sometimes I actually look away when they're talking about important stuff.

295
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:48,080
You know I don't want to say Brandon Kieffer is racist but Brandon Kieffer is racist. When

296
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:54,000
he heard about the rat that got crushed into the street. What are they calling that? What?

297
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,800
The rat hole. Somebody ran over a rat got crushed into the street in Chicago. It happens

298
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:03,280
all the time. But yeah. People were talking about it. They called the rat hole and we

299
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,200
were talking about it and Brandon overheard he's like the Jews got tunnels in Chicago

300
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:14,600
too. Wait. So it's just like big. I wrote that yesterday. I forgot to say the tunnels

301
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:18,920
thing is concerning. This is like a tunnel. Why are you going to control the weather if

302
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:25,240
you have a tunnel with the point. Wait. Are you talking about a railroad of rats? You said

303
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:30,120
it's a hole. I think it's just got ran over into the ground. Why do I call it a hole?

304
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:35,040
A rat hole because it's a hole in the ground like a pothole. Yeah. A rat hole. Okay. That's

305
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:40,840
what it is. I'm imagining a giant like a movie ants. Yeah. A big underground thing where

306
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:46,080
they have and they have like the worker rats and then the warrior rats. Jews. Yeah. I wish

307
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:50,000
it birth. We got a side and we love the Jews by the way. It would be awesome if at birth

308
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:56,680
we got either assigned to work or be a soldier. That would be fucking sweet. Yeah. Did Dylan

309
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:04,680
in Spartan times we got thrown off the cliff. What? In Spartan times if you have born purple

310
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:09,560
they would have thrown you off the cliff. The Chicago Rattle has his own Wikipedia page.

311
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,000
There's a picture of it. They just filled the hole with cement. It's clearly a rat that

312
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,960
got run over into the ground. That was Samantha today. Yeah. The Chicago Rattle. Brandon thought

313
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:23,000
this was Jewish tunnels. Yeah. But so what does he think about the Jewish? Let's not

314
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:29,440
get too into that on the free. I think they're great. They're talking about the Jewish. I

315
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:33,640
think they're all I'm not scared to talk about. I'm just I don't even consider them a race

316
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,480
because there's only one race. The human race. That's right. Yeah. There's only one

317
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:43,280
audience. There's only one audience. The human audience. You ever use that? I never use it

318
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:49,520
for anything. It's good for the podcast. Yeah. It's good to bring up on the podcast many

319
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,560
times when people are like I haven't found my audience yet. I'm like you want to own

320
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:59,880
them. You want them to be in your possession. Were you a demon? Some people say they do

321
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:03,720
well in front of black audiences. Some say they do well in front of white audience. Hispanic

322
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:09,560
audiences. I do well in front of audiences. There's only one audience. Yeah. The human

323
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:15,400
audience. Is this a black room? There's only one room. The human room. Yeah. This is a

324
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:20,760
human. You're a bartender. This is not a black room. People say this is a black room. But

325
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:29,240
to me there's only one room. The human room. Beer belly is a human room. Yeah. It's not

326
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,800
a different. This is not an edgelord room. This is a human. It's mostly it's not like

327
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:38,960
a bunch of it's a girl room. You know a lot of girls. Yeah. The bar the way.

328
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:46,480
The bartender. Yeah. At least one. Shout out. Let's count the girls that go Rachel Swamp

329
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:52,960
and Courtney. Okay. That's about it. Yeah. That matter. So I do that matter. Grace Piatrowski

330
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:58,960
and she went on stage and talked about how there was no other women there. It's good

331
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:08,680
to be here. She's nice. Uh huh. I say grace penis trust. I say dandosimo is one of the

332
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:15,400
hosts. He's not a guy. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Uh. Start that over. Dandosimo

333
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:20,480
is one of the hosts. They're not a guy. Okay. Good. Uh. Dandosimo. I go whatever Dandosimo

334
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:28,200
gets sick. I go to Paul Boys Night. Nice. Yeah. Boys Town. It doesn't easy. So Donny

335
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:33,360
look kind of like a chimney sweep from England. I don't know what that is still. She really

336
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:40,360
looks like she's rated to show us a new Z from New Z's. She's new Z's. It's a movie

337
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:49,280
from. Is she related to sell Zeldon from practical. No. Is he still does not related to. Why

338
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:54,560
did he mispronounce the word volcano. His name is cell volcano. What about cell cocaine.

339
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:59,000
And by the way I'm not calling them Nazis anymore. I'm calling them Nazis. That's how

340
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:04,600
it's spelled. Maybe what you know what if there's no tea. What if oh oh shit. Oh my

341
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:08,840
god brain blast. The Nazi. What if what if Hitler what if Hitler was being ironic the

342
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:15,080
whole time. And he was like Nazi. Oh yeah dude. Because they what if he was just level

343
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:20,040
five this whole time and the whole like cast yeah all that what if it was just a bit.

344
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:27,160
It could have been a bit. I think I mean many ways he inspired many jokes by doing a holocaust.

345
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:32,960
Yeah dude so many jokes about the Holocaust. Yeah it's kind of Hitler's like gift to humanity

346
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:39,960
and I thought like 9 11 was like the biggest knock knock joke. Yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's

347
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:45,240
like it's New York especially. There's a certain way to think about it. Every bad thing has

348
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:50,880
ever happened was kind of funny. I mean my experience with Columbine or yeah all these

349
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:57,760
things. Yeah but it's just pure laughter for 99% of it. All these exams I've been taking

350
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:03,720
they were trying to trick you like they always say like all the below are broker broker dealers

351
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:11,000
or agents like a multiple choice or not a broker deals or not again. They'll say not

352
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:16,480
20 times in the question. They're like stealing your bed. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's people

353
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:21,760
are saying my not joke that I stole from Borat. Yeah. You ever do you ever do a multiple choice

354
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:27,400
question where it's like you know insurance and column A will cost 4% of the interest

355
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:40,640
psych. It did. Psych. Yeah. Psych. But they always say does or doesn't just try to trip

356
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:45,560
you up. I was like I'm no one's gonna I'm never gonna be in the situation where someone's

357
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:49,920
gonna be trying to trick me and I have to guess what it is. If I know there's a ton

358
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:53,680
of evidence that those kind of tests don't prepare you for anything. No. I don't know

359
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,600
why people still do them. There's just like they're ridiculous. I think they just want

360
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:03,960
to make them hard so they to get keep just a filter. Yeah. Yeah. How people. Yeah. Like

361
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:10,920
a pro choice exam. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pro choice. There's only one answer and it is correct.

362
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:16,560
I don't think that's an exam because I'm actually pro life. My answer to all political things

363
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:26,400
are yes to anything liberal. I'm pro choice. This movie with a it's called pro life is

364
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:32,040
one of the coolest movies I've ever seen where this girl gets impregnated by a demon and

365
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:38,200
her dad is really pro life and he shoots up the abortion clinic when they're trying to

366
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:42,920
abort a demon's baby and then she gives birth to a demon. It's one of the coolest fucking

367
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:48,400
movies I've ever seen in my whole life. Dude. It really twisted my brain with the whole like

368
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:54,200
boring pro life pro choice debate is like oh this is a whole new. I'm a religious kids

369
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:59,120
my dorm floor in Iowa that like we're religious when they were at home with their family but

370
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:06,280
like didn't really care college but they would like protest abortion clinics. So lame. Your

371
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:11,640
life is pointless. What are you doing if you put your whole life. I mean not to be rude.

372
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:16,360
My aunt listens to this and she loves wait wait. She's pro life. Very. Are you talking

373
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:23,320
about the bug or like talking about my mom's sister who came to her live show. Oh nice.

374
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,600
I think she was she started listening to the podcast. I don't know if she's going to listen

375
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:30,000
for very long. Does she hear that. Definitely not up her. Did she hear that I had sex with

376
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:35,040
your mom. I said this podcast is up your alley. Not. Did she hear that I had sex with your

377
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:41,480
mom. She never heard that. OK. Or maybe she did. I don't know. Sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry

378
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:45,720
about that. When you know if Mac is having sex with your mom that means your mom is pegging

379
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:52,760
back. No. No. The door. She's kind of having sex with that. Guys I got a punching bag and

380
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:57,640
there's an I installed a thing to put it on and you can see the punching bag if you look

381
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:02,240
at the other hallway. I bet it's not a sex swing. I've got to be pretty easy to punch

382
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:07,200
your bag while you're in the sex. Yeah he's a punching bag. Your bag just hanging out in

383
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:12,120
the open. I can't wait until I become a master fighter and then you call it a sex swing one

384
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:17,640
more time and I just kill you. OK. No I feel like. Yeah that's what they said in Tarkington.

385
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:22,120
You're kind of her sexual punching bag and she said that you're her favorite. Exactly

386
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:28,000
what they said in Tarkington. Yeah exactly. I was making fun of their sex wigs. If you

387
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:34,120
want to know more about Tarkington. Patron.com slash bad comedy for the writer Ali episode.

388
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,720
You sure you sure you won't find anything about it online. Right. We're going to race

389
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:44,720
from the map. Right. I'll get to Korea. Right. Ali sounds like a Muslim name. Ali. Yeah it's

390
00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:51,520
like Muhammad Ali's brother writer. Yeah. Right or die. Riders on the stone on the corn.

391
00:36:51,520 --> 00:37:02,760
That's Ramones. A guy puts corn in his ass. Right. When you pick a piece of corn and you

392
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:12,520
put it in your bag and you keister that thing. Gotta put it in your ass. Yeah. Well to shout

393
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:20,280
out to all the lonely farmers. Shouts the Ramones. Rest in peace. Joe. There we sorry. Jim Morrison.

394
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:26,280
How about the heart of your own. The Jabroni. The Jabrons. Jabrons. That's like the rock

395
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:32,560
spanned. Yeah. It's called people. Jabroni. He start Jabroni. No. It was the thing before

396
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:35,520
that. It's a wrestling thing I think. I don't know where it goes back to. I think it's one

397
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:40,600
of the lamest insults. I mean there's a Chicago. It was good. It was good. Middle school. I

398
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,800
like Jamoc. Yeah. I don't know if they're related. I don't like it but I like it more

399
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:49,480
than Jabroni. It's weird. I was trying to look up the history of Jamoc like because

400
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:54,840
I wanted to make sure it wasn't racist before I started saying it. It could be a Jew thing.

401
00:37:54,840 --> 00:38:00,640
Well it goes back to I think mocha like calling someone a coffee or something which that could

402
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:05,200
be racial. I have to really look at it. Just say a couple of people drink mocha. No one

403
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,680
knows. You know I find out where the word comes from. It's kind of like a knife. Is

404
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:15,160
that poor white people used to have a lice and they called them cracker because they

405
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:19,720
were always scratching their heads and it was like crunchy. I thought it was the cracker

406
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:25,040
the whip. I heard it was actually a class thing. Oh God. And it was like they were covered

407
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,840
in lice and crunchy heads. I thought either it was the cracker the whip or it was like

408
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:33,520
they would eat a lot of like saltine. I always thought yeah you look like a saltine. Your

409
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:38,960
skin's dry. They don't use lotion. They ate a lot of. It kind of works on many levels.

410
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,920
All they could afford was saltine crackers during the Great Depression. So that's it

411
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,680
is actually their mouths were so dry that everyone's mouths are so dry from eating all

412
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:51,720
the saltines that the weather got dry the crops all shriveled up and started a humor

413
00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:57,520
and started the dust. A saltine on precinct 13. What about saltine you kind of miss my

414
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:05,440
demons saltine. Hey Tina you should book better lineups in your show. What show the one I

415
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:11,280
run with. I don't think I've ever been able to book anyone on that. You probably could

416
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:20,840
if you said something. I have. I stop saying stuff because I did say something. I then

417
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:25,160
one time I said you know you never take my advice on this and then she felt really guilty

418
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,800
and then I felt really guilty for making her feel guilty. Who'd you suggest. And I'm like

419
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,240
I'm never going to suggest people. Who'd you suggest. Just like people I thought were

420
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:37,440
funny like Justin Golak and shit you know like you guys I suggested for guest box and

421
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:42,360
go like is amazing. My friends you know dando Cimo. I couldn't get dando Cimo on for a sec

422
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:48,560
dando Cimo has tons of hilarious dark jokes. He literally has a joke is Justin to he literally

423
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:55,600
had a joke about Ian Watkins the guy from the lost profits who went to jail for making

424
00:39:55,600 --> 00:40:02,560
love to an infant would have been incredible on a dark comedy show. I'm just gonna pour

425
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:08,400
some more on there. Yeah I dressed up the language for YouTube. He made love to an infant.

426
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:12,200
You think that'll get us past the filters. You think that'll get us past the filters

427
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:17,320
back. By the way if you ever rewatch this Mac this is what I mean by not being listened

428
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:24,800
to. No but this is what I mean by me not being able to physically listen to anything else.

429
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:30,480
What you're doing. I'd be able to listen to you and do what you're doing. I know I can't

430
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:36,560
do that. My brain can't. I'm sorry dude. Not on purpose. The last thing I remember is

431
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:42,760
Justin Gullick. I almost don't even want to say it. I'd love for you to just find it

432
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:47,960
one day. Yeah. What happened after Justin Gullick. I was talking about Ian Watkins.

433
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:52,680
Who's that. Oh Cimo's talking about Ian Watkins. He's a singer from this band called the Lost

434
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:57,760
Profits and it's one of the most horrific true crime stories I've ever heard in my life.

435
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:04,520
What happened. He made love to an infant. Oh that's what I was saying to get past the

436
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:11,240
YouTube filters. Gotcha. Yeah. Well Michael Robinson said he said he's in love with Kanye

437
00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:19,120
West's daughter the younger one. And so I said north. Why the only one I know is she's

438
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:22,880
older. There's a younger one who has. And then so I said instead of Mike DeComic it

439
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:29,240
should be Mike. The P. the P. the P. thing. Yeah. I just want to say the pen's dispenser.

440
00:41:29,240 --> 00:41:34,960
Yeah Mike the pen's dispenser. This thing sucks that it goes out so fast. Yeah. I mean

441
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:40,080
for their way to the next episode I'll probably pour a lot more in because I got a napkin

442
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,000
in there. Well it's like a Tiki torch. So what I'm going to do is I'm just going to

443
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:48,360
kind of soak it. Let's load this bad boy up. Yeah. We will for the next one. Hell yeah

444
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:53,880
I want to feel like hot. We got 18 more minutes. How's the cold brew. Have you tried it. I

445
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,840
haven't tried it. I'm drinking Cool Steeper Club. This is for later. Wow. Cool. That's

446
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:02,080
actually Cool Steeper Club Cold Brew I think. Yeah pretty much. Coming soon it's actually

447
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:07,040
he's testing it out. Come soon. Yeah. Somebody get text me when they're here. He's going

448
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:15,040
to call you Dan. Dranjo Dranjo Drimo. Yeah. Yeah. We got eight minutes. Ha ha too. And

449
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:23,280
Tito got 15. That was great. Great experience. Can we start booking people based on merit.

450
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:28,440
Yeah meritocracy. I don't think we need to. We don't need to book people based on merit

451
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:35,200
but we need to. Why. I mean because you want diverse like. No I think like characters and

452
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,880
stuff you don't want to watch 10 people do the same act like there's other things to

453
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:43,680
think about besides merit. You don't want to run a show with all the same type of person.

454
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,520
Yeah. Yeah. You know regardless of whatever type that is there's a lot of more stuff to

455
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:52,880
think about. Mark Laval was just. Does he have any dirt too. I feel you. Have they had

456
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:58,400
it. No. Have they had my I would I would say that Mark Laval is pretty like clean. Yeah

457
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:03,240
he is. He was also when he did the show. I'm getting. But he was funny. I love Mark Laval.

458
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:07,880
This is what I'm guessing for the next lineup. Vic Pandia. I think we should start calling

459
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:11,440
it a dark show maybe. Well it's called and also I don't even know if the people who come

460
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:16,840
to the show really want it to be dark. Like like we get a lot of people in there who don't

461
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:22,040
who are just think it's a comedy show. They don't think it's. I think it's a nice. It's

462
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:25,160
a good theme. It would be but I don't think we're using it right. Well because you're

463
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:30,560
not putting people. Dark jokes in it. And also we don't have our own crowd. We have

464
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,880
like we're barking in people. So those people aren't like necessarily wanting to see somebody

465
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:41,280
like you know describe the texture of their own asshole. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean that

466
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:45,360
kind of dark. I mean it's like fucked up jokes. Yeah. Yeah. They don't want to. They are

467
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:51,640
not ready for Anthony Jussleneck. I did the Anthony Jussleneck on Twitch and people clipped

468
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,640
it. They liked it so much. Really. Yeah. I had the buttons and stuff. I was pressing

469
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:59,560
the laugh button and I just kept on tagging the same joke over and over again. That was

470
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:04,000
like we should do a quick round of just like if you guys want. Maybe we should save it

471
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,960
for the Patriot so we don't get canceled on YouTube. Oh yeah. Sorry guys. We're going

472
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:14,720
to save the Jussleneck segment for the Patriot on Patreon.com slash bad comedy. It's only

473
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:20,080
three ninety nine a month. It's been that since all this inflation came. It's essentially

474
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:23,880
zero dollars now with your purchasing power. Oh yeah. Do you drink one less beer a month

475
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:28,000
you alcoholic. Yeah. But if you could even stop I bet you can't control yourself. I

476
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,760
feel like it's bad advertising because like I do want that beer. Yeah. I think we should

477
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:37,360
do something else. It's sad if they I mean that's not somebody I want to be a patron

478
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:41,360
somebody who can't control themselves. Yeah. What else is close to three ninety nine.

479
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:45,240
I want people who are some if you're going to join the Patreon please be sound of mind.

480
00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:53,720
We're going to lose. We're going to lose everybody. Well we I mean you weren't talking

481
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:58,160
shit about the patrons right you're talking shit about potential patrons potential. Yeah

482
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:03,120
so fuck you guys you're not a patron. Yeah. No but if you have like addiction issues and

483
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:09,000
everything join the podcast. Yeah. Well help you. It's an investment. So basically you

484
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:14,440
get hooked. Think about this fixed three ninety nine per month. That's like a sent a day to

485
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:19,120
keep the dot to keep the comedy. Yeah. You get to get just three ninety nine a month

486
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:24,560
and then you can help keep Mike Robinson alive. Yeah. You pay it every month. It'll be kind

487
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:33,800
of like a habit. Well we get twenty five cents. We give twenty five cents of every of every

488
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:37,520
dollar to help get a gun ball Robinson come back from Africa. Yeah. He actually got sent

489
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:45,920
back. We buy a gun ball for my Cooper to report him. Well we buy one report. We buy one gun

490
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:54,960
ball per month for my Cooper. Yeah. What are they why do they call it. So when you get just

491
00:45:54,960 --> 00:46:00,520
a bit of like black coffee why do they call it cold brew cold brew is when it's cold school

492
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:10,640
one of these called a cold black black coffee. Why a cold brew shorter cooler but it doesn't

493
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:16,080
imply like that it's like because they do they do brew it in cold. They basically put

494
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:22,680
coffee in the cold water isn't cold brew always like just like strong black coffee.

495
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:28,160
No I mean cold brew is a way of making coffee from the beans and it's a cold it's processed

496
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:33,600
in cold. So are you able to get like like a lighter a lighter type of coffee. Yeah.

497
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:39,480
Yeah. Cold brew like lame. Well you know the lighter coffees have more caffeine and the

498
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,920
darker coffees have less because they're cooked more and the caffeine comes out. Yeah.

499
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:49,120
It's weird but true. So when I like a light roast has more caffeine. So should I order

500
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:54,440
a if I'm going to Dunkin Donuts and I want a lot of caffeine. So I want to get I don't

501
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:58,920
think they have roasts there at Dunkin Donuts. They do have cold brew but they don't have

502
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:06,800
roast like a lighter. Okay. Like I'm pretty sure a large cold brew would be the most caffeine.

503
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:11,960
I think it's the same probably as a regular black coffee. None of it's cocaine but I don't

504
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:16,400
put obviously I don't put cream or sugar in it. By the way drink 20 of those coffees

505
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:22,280
or eat one at a roll. Yeah. I don't know cream. No sugar because that's remember if you guys

506
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:27,440
listen to the past hits gain racist. Yeah. What I do put you know the what I do put in

507
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,680
sometimes is maybe a little bit of booger sugar if you know what I'm talking about.

508
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,880
And you're in your you know what I'm talking about that you make a Mexican Coke. Yeah.

509
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:40,840
Like with the real sugar. No I'm saying folks. Oh yeah. I do in the line. I do want to try

510
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,200
it. You know what I'm saying. I do want to try an original Coca Cola. So you get one

511
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:48,200
of the Mexican Cokes. It's just funny that they call that it's just a coke and a bottle.

512
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:56,000
So you get a Mexican has real sugar real cane sugar carbon and then you sprinkle some that

513
00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:04,320
drop that booger sugar in there and then you get the real thing. You know I fucked up your

514
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:11,080
ass tray. I put lotion on it. It's not ashy anymore. My ass tray. You're asked. You haven't

515
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:20,520
asked gay. That's like a projection. Ask G's. Remember that. Yeah. That's what I was thinking

516
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:24,280
as she was like as gay. That's where you find out what a twink is.

517
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:31,120
Does it ask. Does it ask G's still exist. I don't know but it's serving cunt fun boys.

518
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:37,840
You kind of have a have a G's character now. Yeah. I'm about to always do something. He

519
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:43,600
can't say G's. I said you kind of have a G's character now. Well I was thinking Mexican.

520
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:53,480
Yeah. Or Spanish as Jesus as G's. Yeah. And then and then black as acts G's and then if

521
00:48:53,480 --> 00:49:00,160
you're a Muslim woman you wear a hajib. Yeah. And it's not Adam and G's. Yeah. Check.

522
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:07,760
It's not Adam and G's. Oh it's asked. It's asked.com now. Come on. Ask Jesus way cooler.

523
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,600
And I was always like. Ask gay would have been a second choice.

524
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:18,440
Oh no. He spilled more. That's what happened to the buttons. That's clearly what happened

525
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:22,880
to the buttons. Whatever you just did. You've done that before and that's why the sound effects

526
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:28,240
are okay. He was trying to do the right thing. He was trying to keep the fire. I love the

527
00:49:28,240 --> 00:49:33,760
fire. I did start the fire. You ever watch those videos where they make a. I mean I gotta

528
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,960
wait for it to go out and start the cloth. You ever watch those videos where they try

529
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:43,560
and deep fry a turkey and then the whole place lets them fire. Hopefully we could make one

530
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:51,840
of those videos. Have you ever seen those girls. So they get a giant pot and then they

531
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:56,840
fill it full of oil. Yeah. They fill it full of deep fry oil and then this is all the

532
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:01,280
side and they put a turkey in it to deep fry the full turkey. If the turkey is still frozen

533
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:07,480
it's full of water. So water and oil it boils over. Chemical reaction and it explodes in

534
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:11,600
every direction. If you ever put water in the fried oil it

535
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:17,240
shits and flies everywhere. Wet and Oppenheimer. If Oppenheimer thought

536
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:23,200
of that. Yeah. He could have just done that. Yeah. He just dropped a turkey in a pot on

537
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:27,360
a hero. We're shooting these missiles and inside the missile.

538
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:36,440
It's frozen. Turkey goes into a big pot of oil. When you drop it as it hits the turkey

539
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:42,320
drops. You can see inside the missile. That's what's happening. What is the real thing.

540
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:47,000
It'd be sick. Dude. I still believe that nothing in the past happened. That's what they

541
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:53,800
call it. Videos. Actually anything before videos were invented. It never happened. That's

542
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:59,120
how Gen Z. How about a phosphorus bomb. White phosphorus. That would be preposterous for

543
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:06,040
a bomb I'd say. I'm burning and I'm blind. That's what it's like. Well. Philosophers.

544
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:13,040
Yeah. Philosophers. I believe that everyone died at one point and that's how the pyramids

545
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:18,560
happened. Explain that. Yeah. So there was an ancient civilization that was far more

546
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:23,520
advanced than us and there was some kind of not possible already not possible. Okay.

547
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:28,360
Nobody is more advanced than me. Dude. This is this is this is some like speed of sound

548
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:33,720
talk or you're talking about like gravity. I don't think we talk about this kind of stuff.

549
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:39,520
Okay. Then don't ask for explanations. It's on my Facebook algorithm and Joe Rogan videos.

550
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:44,440
Not the news. Talking to Sarman sometimes what I'm seeing stuff Joe Rogan talks about.

551
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,400
I think does this guy ever read the news. Yeah. It's like he doesn't. It's like he thinks

552
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:52,520
the news is fake. Well I'm pretty sure he just agrees with everybody. So I think there

553
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:59,280
are ancient civilizations and their technology was buried under a mile or two of ice and

554
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:04,240
over time it just sort of crushes everything that would have been evidence into dust and

555
00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:11,360
so we have no evidence of the far advanced technology they used to have and and then

556
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:15,920
society had to rebuild with the few humans that did survive. I think either that happened

557
00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:23,320
or not. Yeah. So were these were these homo sapiens or were these homosexuals or were

558
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:30,440
they Neanderthals or were they they came back or were these guys twinks or bears.

559
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:38,720
Yeah. Or almost almost homo erectus. I think it was a homo erectus. Yeah. So was it was

560
00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:45,640
it was it homo sapiens or Neanderthals because there's some sort of a bipedal creature potentially

561
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:55,040
an alien bipedal bipedal. So they will always go back in the day. I think they did technically

562
00:52:55,040 --> 00:53:02,840
their bipedals. And they so that the Celeste is the word you say. They're Celesteing everybody.

563
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:07,120
No but they would come from the stars. I want to let you know they wouldn't be aliens if

564
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:11,960
they if this was their home. They would be actually citizens of the world. It was potentially

565
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:17,560
they came from space. And then they lived here. Well like Dow man classic movie from

566
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:21,080
1991. Well I don't think I don't think maybe then you had to register for citizenship. I

567
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:25,120
think if you just live here you get to become a citizen. I just think we don't know how

568
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:30,640
they built them. Yeah. It's not just the pyramids. Donald Trump says he's going to kick out all

569
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:42,040
the aliens. I got you going to build a wall over the sky. Yeah. Let's just work on the

570
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:48,080
ozone layer. Donald Trump does love Mexicans. He's just like you know. They love him. Remember

571
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:53,080
he ate that. A lot actually do like that picture. I'm not going to go. It is one of my favorite

572
00:53:53,080 --> 00:54:00,240
things I've ever seen. It is wild. A lot of a lot of Mexicans do like Trump. Not during

573
00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:06,960
the first round but like now they do and obviously Cubans love him and he loves them. He loves

574
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:12,320
everyone in moderation. He says yeah. Yeah. I mean that's fair. You know that's probably

575
00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:16,600
goes for white people too. I mean a lot of Mexicans are Republican because they're Catholic

576
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:24,760
and they hate abortion. Can I do an anti add real quick. Don't use ask.com and please email

577
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:30,680
them to change change back to ask Gives sign our petition to get Gives's job. We want Gives.

578
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:35,040
Yeah. We miss we miss you. Oh and I'll add a real plug. I'm gonna post that link soon

579
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:39,760
for the wooden shoes and the Vkeeper outfits coming soon. So they post and I'm gonna do

580
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:44,840
a little plug 15 lawnmower max lawnmower manfacts coming soon behind the secrets here. That's

581
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:50,440
on that's unpublished is hidden. Oh shit. Someone's theory on a Facebook comment about

582
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:58,320
the pyramids. It was that they used a bumblebees and the vibrations that that's awesome. And

583
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:03,920
the answer is like saying that you could they could carry the rocks because the frequencies

584
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:09,840
and the vibrations of what if you give a bunch of bumblebees under it and they would

585
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:16,400
create some magnetic thing and then call it residence and then some ants and maybe it

586
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:21,920
may be raising the ants maybe what if the Egyptians were big ants you know and ants

587
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:28,080
can lift like a bunch of times their weight. Yeah. Dinosaurs did or no no I was thinking

588
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:33,080
that the Egyptians were ant people. Yeah. They're big ants and that's how they're strong

589
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:37,920
to do it. And the story. I just solved it. Didn't Jewish people build the pyramids with

590
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:42,680
their the slaves or the schemers. So maybe they were all know if they are bugs you're

591
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:49,240
saying no no no no no no no no no no. Mac I feel like you might have caused the problem

592
00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:53,920
not solved one shout out to Moses. That's a pretty I mean that's an awesome accomplishment

593
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:58,240
for the Jewish people if they build the pyramids. They should have called him Moses they should

594
00:55:58,240 --> 00:56:02,480
have called him Mosey since he was mosey and around the desert all this or Mozart because

595
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:08,040
he died in a popper's grave. Yeah. I think maybe aliens are coming to

596
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:13,960
symphony. Yeah. What. I think aliens are checking in on us they're like oh they're finally getting

597
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:20,400
closer back to what they used to be. So now that's why they're interested now. But I think

598
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:26,880
that there are they called them the sky gods were like that before the Egyptians. Yeah

599
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:31,720
that we have people that believe that there's a sky god. You know. Yeah. A lot. Like most

600
00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:37,560
people but it could explain people's perceptions of angels and sky gods. I think that God is

601
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:42,720
dead and because we killed them that makes us gods. Yeah. I've always thought I was

602
00:56:42,720 --> 00:56:48,320
God. Yeah. In the far I consider us the Uberman. Yeah. People call it a God complex. I call

603
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:54,880
it God simple. I'm simply I'm a god. Yeah. Yeah. I do have a God complex. Yeah. I think

604
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:59,080
it's going to be a God girl summer. But God my life is calm but I also don't want to save

605
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:10,600
my save my name in vain. So I have a gosh complex. That's really good. God summer. Speaking

606
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:15,080
of considering yourself a God you seen this guy around the comedy scene who's like God

607
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:20,320
he got in trouble for stalking Taylor Swift. What. And then he's been showing up at open

608
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:25,760
mics and then he basically just talks about how he's like God. Basically he's like I it's

609
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:32,040
like honestly Mac he's kind of doing your bit but way better. Yeah. He's a complete psychopath.

610
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:38,680
He goes on stage. He's like I'm I'm awesome. I'm rich. Me and Taylor Swift are soulmates.

611
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:44,200
I'm wearing a Louis Vuitton right now. Yeah. He's like this weird. He's like a mental case.

612
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:48,000
You know you know in Calico the time I tell people like I'll find that I'll find the news

613
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:52,880
story real fast. You know more context in college. I tell everyone I tell like everyone

614
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:58,560
I was popular as fucking high school. So it's a bit. It's the lamest thing you can say.

615
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:06,840
Yeah. I was popular as fucking high school. That's fun. He kind of did that too. But differently.

616
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:11,960
Well how long has he been doing things. I don't know probably a week. He's a week in

617
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:18,120
a comedy. Sounds pretty weak. Sounds like he's stealing my bit and just expanding on it.

618
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:24,120
It's easy to do it to a higher degree if you already have it all laid out and written out.

619
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:29,040
You just add you do the same thing and add on to it. I'm sure you see and you do it.

620
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:35,880
I'm sure it has. And the jury's out. I win. But you've never stalked Taylor Swift.

621
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:39,080
Oh wait the jury's out. You know what I'm saying. The jury.

622
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:44,400
Yeah. You jury out on your. So we got it. We had time for plugs folks.

623
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:48,080
Love the fires out. It's time for plugs. Dylan what would you like to plug?

624
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:56,960
Come see me at Zaynys on the third of February 1115 and follow me at Comedy Baddie.

625
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:04,760
Guys the third is a Saturday Saturday. It's this coming Saturday folks. Check it out.

626
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:09,440
The late show with Calvin Evans. Hell yeah. I might be Adam Addis.

627
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:15,200
You might have his acne hair. It's way not as good as Calvin Evans.

628
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:19,120
But that's good for you because that means that you'll be funnier compared to the host.

629
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:22,160
I'm just so proud of a good time and all the audiences.

630
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:25,920
I was sort of saying it was Adam Anvil. What is that?

631
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:29,360
Like the thing that the runner would drop on the coyote.

632
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:34,920
Oh yeah. Yeah. The big metal thing. And then I thought it was Adam Addis like math.

633
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:40,560
And then I thought it was Adam Advil. But yeah. Good luck on that show.

634
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:46,320
I wish it was Adam Adderall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else?

635
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:50,000
Any of the shows? Oh how was Epstein's Island?

636
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:54,560
I was good. It was like an older crowd than it's like all.

637
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:56,560
And it's like people coming and going probably right.

638
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,480
Because it's a casino. Some of them. But where did you perform?

639
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:05,160
In the island. I've done that one before. Dude. It's weird.

640
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:09,080
Yeah. I mean I did it years ago. We'll expand on it during Patreon.

641
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,800
I want to hear more. If you want to hear more about Epstein's

642
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:16,920
Island Resort and Casino played Epstein's Island in Michigan.

643
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:22,240
Patreon.com slash bad comedy Jason plugs. Go to my Jason Melton Twitch.

644
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,560
I'm trying to stop doing stand up. No more podcasts.

645
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,920
Just be a Twitch guy. Stand up from home. Like Hassan.

646
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:30,600
I got a standing desk. You're going to stand up at home.

647
01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:33,120
Right. A little bit. He said no more podcasts. Mac.

648
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:37,200
I don't know if you caught that. J.K. I love. I love the podcast.

649
01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:42,840
That's fine. What was the most. That was supposed to shock everybody.

650
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:48,160
And then I started talking about something else. I did miss that part.

651
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:53,080
But yeah. Jason Melton Twitch on Twitch and then also Jason Melton.

652
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:57,400
I did want to ask if you had any albums coming out. I know I'm coming out.

653
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:00,760
Yeah. Like over a year ago and is coming out. We're going to record it then.

654
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:04,040
So you decide to show if you got a time machine you fucking loser.

655
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:06,400
That's not nice. I'm sorry. Money.

656
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:08,880
And you. Sorry. Kind of just mad right now.

657
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:11,560
I couldn't. There's so many Taylor Swift stockers.

658
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,400
I couldn't figure out which one was the guy who opened my gun Thursday.

659
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:19,680
I'm a corn stalker. Oh I'm going to see somebody took a video of his set.

660
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,240
So I'll see if I can. Yeah. Watch that.

661
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:24,160
Yeah. In the intermediary time. Hey folks.

662
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:30,480
Follow me a bad boy comedy. The best name you can get on every platform.

663
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:34,240
Catch me at every comedy club in the city. Catch me outside.

664
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:37,600
So laugh factories and he's comedy bar. Basically there every night.

665
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:41,360
You'll probably see me on the homepage. One more plug.

666
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:44,040
Check out Nathan Lund stuff. He's hilarious. Oh Nathan Lund.

667
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,880
We love Nathan Lund and we check out everything.

668
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:51,920
And then we like Sam Talent. We don't love Sam talent.

669
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:55,320
We like we're friends. We're cool. Yeah. Yeah. Very cordial.

670
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:58,520
Yeah. He's a nice guy. He's a nice guy.

671
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:03,440
He doesn't hate Dylan. No he still has to apologize to me

672
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,480
and give me a guest spot and sit and watch the whole thing.

673
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:11,440
Yeah. That's not going to happen. But we're not all you know this is.

674
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,520
I'm sorry man.

675
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:20,200
This is not by part. We might have. Yeah. Because he has to.

676
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:22,680
He'll just go. You're so mad at him. You're trying to punish him.

677
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:24,840
That's what I'm hearing. No. It's just if you want to win back

678
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:28,160
my friendship before I blow up. Well you're trying to punish him by

679
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,640
making him. Dylan. All you gotta say is how you're trying

680
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,400
to teach him a thing or two about how to write a joke.

681
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:37,880
Dylan. It's a two to one vote. Our podcast is a friend of their podcast.

682
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:40,720
Okay. Yeah. I don't know. They kind of were supposed to.

683
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:43,240
I don't know why you're trying to hurt Sam by making him watch yourself.

684
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,400
Because he was going to be a friend of me. I could like use my friend.

685
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,040
We're friends of theirs. He made fun of me on his podcast.

686
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:52,760
So why make him suffer and why. He also made fun of Peyton Ruddy.

687
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:57,720
Because he deserves to suffer. He went in on Peyton.

688
01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:02,920
Also our next live show is going to be in. We should call him Peyton Ruddy.

689
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,720
Next live show in April. April probably. Play the food.

690
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:10,240
Next live show in April probably. Yeah. We're supposed to have another live

691
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:12,320
show in April. We'll get you information on that as soon

692
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,040
as we get it. So that's the podcast live at Comedy Bar.

693
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,960
Yeah. That's the month after February. We have talents.

694
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:22,040
One of my biggest enemies. We skip February too.

695
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:26,800
So we can celebrate like or I guess remember Black History Month.

696
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:31,120
All the bad things that happen and then celebrate Black people as a whole.

697
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:37,600
You know, it's really important to us. And Dan is calling.

698
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,560
Oh, we're not going to say who the guest is.

699
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:43,320
Yeah. Actually, actually, can you keep both?

700
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:45,320
Hey, what's up?

701
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:50,720
You're on your own. You're on bad comedy.

702
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,560
I'm walking up to the back of Max House.

703
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:58,280
Oh, it might be unlocked in the back. Don't show the way.

704
01:03:58,280 --> 01:04:02,440
It is. Who do you hate? Who do you hate?

705
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:04,480
What? Who do you? Who do you hate?

706
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:08,320
You know, I can't stand.

707
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,720
Oh, wait, I got through the gate.

708
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:13,600
Extremely secure gate.

709
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:14,560
We're not gatekeepers.

710
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:18,080
Oh, no. And then you just walk up to I don't want to give too much away.

711
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,760
All right, we'll see you soon.

712
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:22,800
You know, it's just it's the second one up.

713
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:26,480
Figure it out.

714
01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:29,240
That was Zach Orion.

715
01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:31,280
We're having him on as the guest.

716
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:33,080
And three enemies.

717
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,320
Dylan, do you want to say anything to the our friends?

718
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:41,080
Oh, hey, hey, we'll see you not.

719
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:45,440
Seriously, no, no, we love you guys.

720
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,040
And thanks for tuning in.

721
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:48,600
I'm buying the Sears Tower.

722
01:04:48,600 --> 01:05:06,520
If you're just tuning in, bye.