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Hey everybody, welcome to bad comedy podcast. This is the deadpan episode. The deadpan episode

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with me, Mac and my good friend Dylan. Yeah, we're just going to use our real names today.

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We don't got a front today. Yeah. I mean, Jason always likes making these wacky names.

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I always said we should be straight up. Yeah, it feels dishonest. Yeah. I mean, you know

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me. I like to like to be straight up when me and you talk. It's like I don't like to

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like mess around and make make the do bits all the time. I like to talk about life relationships.

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It's a deadpan episode. We don't leave this one octave. Yeah. So yeah, normally there's

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if you're a listener normally, you'll see that there's also Jason Melton. He's a big

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fat guy. And it looks way worse. Doesn't this is a way better guys this format. So we're

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pretty equally sized right here. We don't need a camera. Yeah, the problem is we would

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have to in the program, we'd have to widen everything out and then it ends up being proportion

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weird. So I think we would need close to eight cameras to make it look good like this with

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Jason on the podcast. So I might have to ask Jason to purchase six cameras. If he wants

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this will be on the podcast. Now that we know this, now that we know that looks pretty good.

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I don't know. Looks pretty good. Like now that we know we can have the perfect podcast.

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Yeah, like this. We're gonna have to ask Jason to buy six cameras for himself. And I'll

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buy one I'll buy one for the guest. And then Jason has to buy five for himself. Yeah,

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everybody gets one. Yeah. But then we had so our bond will need some back cameras. No,

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yeah, he's probably got like, like a baker's dozen cameras 13. Yeah. We've talked about

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the history of bakers doesn't. So the history of bakers doesn't is the baker, he would make,

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you know, bakers doesn't 13, he would make the dozen. And then he would make one for

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himself. That's why I love the bakers are big fat guys. And I mean, do you think if

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it tasted not that great, he would throw it away? Probably not. I think he was just big

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fat guy. Yeah, is that another one? I wonder if that's written into their employment contract

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at the bakery. Are they allowed to have the 13th donut or are they stealing? Is this are

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they are they are the embezzling donuts from the company? I think they're taking 112 of

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every other donut and using that for the material for the 13th donut. I don't know. I don't

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not support I don't not support bakers being allowed to have the extra doughnut. I mean,

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if I'll tell you what, if I ran a bakery, and there was a baker embezzling donuts on

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my watch, then he's getting canned. Yeah, I'm not going to support that business. I

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think a baker's doesn't that should mean that they paid for it. Yeah, exactly. And if I if

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I ever caught him doing that on camera, I go back through the camera was whole employment,

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see how many donuts he ate, and then make him pay me back for every single donut with

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interest. Yeah, I like when people like Oh, someone 30% of their future earnings. Yeah,

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we are sponsored today by the Adam Gilbert perfect push up machine on. Oh, that is. And

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the great thing about it is that it also can be the cap of a Yeti water bottle. So it's

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kind of like interchangeable parts. Well, we're talking about the Adam Gilbert perfect

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push up. We should bring up our live show at comedy bar. We're doing a live show, folks.

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It'll be me. It'll be Dylan. It'll be Jason, the fat guy. And then what we're going to

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do, folks, it's going to be, it's going to be fantastic. It's gonna we've we've ran

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through it. It's going to be a complete masterpiece. And our Magnum Opus. Yeah, so people are like

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someone said like, compared to kill Tony, they said kill Mac. But the difference between

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this and kill Tony is on kill Tony, there's a panel of a funny guest, a gay skinny, not

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funny guy, Tony Hinchcliffe, and then red band who just on a computer is always say

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anything. And then they have open mic or shitty open mic is going up and doing a minute. And

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then they either shit on them or say it was good or said it was medium. What we're going

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to do is have the best stand up comedians in Chicago do do their best material. They're

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gonna talk to us. And then we're going to completely they're going to get punished to

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say the least. We're going to tear them to fucking shreds and we're going to make them

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want to quit comedy. It's going to be a virtual blog bath. You're going to want to be there.

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So I mean, if you want to compare this to kill Tony, you can say it's a kill Tony on

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steroids. Because the comics are funny. We're the funniest people in the world. Chicago.

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And that's my world. I mean, I think Chicago last time I talked to Kyle, you guys remember

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Kyle from comedy bar, tickets are going fast. So is January 10th, I would get tickets right

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now. This is dropping. And teeth. This is dropping on today. Christmas Eve, Merry, Merry

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Christmas Eve, folks. Christmas Eve. Happy holiday. And what we're on here don't fast

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forward patreon.com slash bad comedy for the good episodes. Sorry for the better episodes.

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These are the normal episodes. The really funny ones with the guests are behind the

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paywall. It's 399 a month. That's nothing. That's nothing. Nothing. Nothing every month.

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How many gumballs? Yeah, it's like 16 16 a little bit less than 16 a little bit less

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than 16 gumballs. Think about that. That's how many days of Michael Cooper being able

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to eat. No, it's like, yeah, 16 days of rent basically for yeah, for Michael Cooper. He

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has AIDS. Yeah, Andy's trans. Yeah. And he's cool. He's cool. Also, so 399 for a full month

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of I mean, you can literally go back and listen to every single guest episode in every regular

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episode for $3.99. So you're paying less than a cent in episode and you can see how much

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16 gumballs you can see how much should we talked about you. You can see you can cancel

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us for sure. All sorts of stuff. Yeah, you can totally cancel it anytime easily. No,

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not cancel on the podcast. No, you can't cancel off some saying you can you can definitely

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patch enough stuff together to fully cancel this whole podcast and ended. And I know we

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got a lot of haters out there, but they never say anything to me. Or it's really funny because

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I literally almost never get feedback in person because on the podcast about the podcast because

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they're scared. They're scared. They're scared that we're going to punish them on the podcast.

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Get punished, you know. Yeah. Who do somebody upset me this week? I noticed when I say yeah,

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now it's time to grain man. Yeah, yeah, I want to drop a new catchphrase of that's so comedy.

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It's so comedy. They can mean whatever you want it to mean, whatever about comedy. That's

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true. I love comedy. That's a cool catchphrase. And there reminds me of cool steeper club.com.

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Yeah, promo code bad comedy. And one of your 25% off. We're just going to do all the ads

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right now. And then the rest of the episode is no ads folks. 20. It's it's ships tea. They

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ship you these big bags of tea that gives you like 100 pictures of tea. It's fantastically

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tasting. Jason drinks it every day. It's sugar free. The reason he's fat is because of the

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donuts. So don't think that this will make you fat like Jason. That would be a fallacy.

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We did have a donut intervention with with Jason. And we told him that I mean,

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if he doesn't stop eating donuts, he can't be on the podcast. And he agreed he read to stop.

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I think he might have stopped. No, no, no, I pissed us in today. There's five sprinkles.

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Glaze and mountain. Yeah, they're all different color. He must have gotten it probably.

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I think you got extra sprinkles. Yeah, he gets sprinkles on his ice cream. He gets

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sprinkles on. Is he gay? Yeah, I heard he needs more sprinkles just to feel the same effect.

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He's got original sprinkles. He's got to be gay. Weird. Yeah, that's kind of weird.

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Does that mean there's a man or oh, no, she probably now that he's rich,

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he probably pays her to pretend to be his girlfriend. Yeah, or to pretend to be a pie.

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Oh, think about this. He makes a lot of money on coding. Jason's changing his whole life.

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So he's makes a lot of money through through non comedy through coding. So he pays for a

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first girl to pretend to be his girlfriend, who's a model. And she's black, which helps him

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because he can see he can really get more street credit and he can say more racist stuff on the

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podcast. I was thinking good for him, dude. He's got it down. But we kind of if this gets out.

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No, it's definitely helps, you know, yeah, it helps him to make money. If this gets out,

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then that's probably not good. And good thing. No, we're on public. We are on the public. Yeah.

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Whatever I said, I was joking. No, it's just that's what we do here. Yeah.

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Yeah. That's so comedy. Yeah, it's a comedy podcast. Kind of like the gazelles is a comedy

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award show. Yeah. And the burbies congrats by the way. Thank you. Most original comic. Thank you.

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It's basically least tech you I do got to say I don't want to get confrontational here. But

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those pictures of you jerk of the jerks guys on stage made me want to kill myself.

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So yeah, jealousy. But no, one thing I realized is you guys kind of like just so maybe I took

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the chain thing from you. But first of all, you stole the podcast thing you kind of stole the

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whole bad boy thing from me. Motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah, you just took it to a different

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level with a leather jacket. I've I've I've joked about getting a leather jacket never did. So

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so it's you are a your identity is a combination between me and Mark Karski. You're not even the

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original bad boy of comedy of Chicago. I'm literally the original bad boy of comedy. Then

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how come there's a guy who called himself like bad boy of comedy comedy bad boy. Yeah.

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Comedy bad boy. He's not but I'm the bad boy of comedy. Yeah, I'm the comedy baddie. Well,

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why'd you make your name that because I'm on bad comedy podcast and I'm a baddie in a school

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name. How many bit is it? But that's what I wanted to say. Because just because you've been accusing

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us of stealing the chains, I just wanted to say that you stole all of it. You stole the podcast

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from come town. No, we still are. No, no, no, no, no, we still podcast from David podcast. The

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original first guy that made a podcast. That was his name and come town copy. Well, we both we

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both copied David podcast kind of and then come town stole from us. Jason looked it all up. Yeah,

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no, we definitely hadn't heard of you guys before that. But no, yeah, Adam, Adam free R Kelly.

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I'll let you tell you that much. I was thinking like it would be funny to do like a parody of

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every other Chicago comedy podcast like on here. Like it'd be funny if a Jeff Christmas. Yeah,

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exactly. Do that again. Who else? Mary Jeff. Well, we've done we've already done that with Aaron

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Chase podcast. We need to really like dress up more like them or even like do like a

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but we I don't I don't want to be you do. We can definitely do Pringles only. I don't want to do

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I don't want to do Lobo done because they're allies of ours. And but they don't sponsor us for

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us. They didn't do the secrets to your one time. No, they Giovanni shared our live comedy live comedy

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thing. No, we are huge fans of the Lobo done podcast. It's a good podcast. I've been on it.

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Jason's been on it. I'll hit him up to have you on it. Because you don't know him. Do you know him?

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No, you should go on it. Are you? Have you ever like been a guest on another podcast?

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Yeah, a couple. Like what? Like jerks? No, there's one in the suburbs. I don't know if you've seen

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a drill. He's a blind comic. And then his friend Sean and you've never been on Aaron Chase's podcast.

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No, you need to get on these. I wouldn't get on. I want to do Aaron Chase's. Why? That one's just

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to me and Jason about done it. I think I don't know like I don't have anything against him. Just

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don't get real with them. Just don't get real with it. That's the funniest thing, dude. Him not

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even being on camera is to me, it's like, I don't know. It's like just have two cameras. Just wear

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sunglasses. No, that's just still he's gonna ask you emotional questions and then you just put up a

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wall. No, but that's just that's that's like giving some of the third degree like with the spotlight

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on them and then you're not even on camera. Yeah, what my goal going on was just to sabotage

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show. Just to go on yet. Yeah, I went on a while back. I went out way before Jason, but I was on

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videos only on audio. I don't know. I told a few stories and I wasn't really I mean, I didn't like

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go into any emotional or talk about comedy really. I feel like I did. I did. I did talk about how

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basically my life's a bit a little bit. Yeah, I definitely talked about that on low boat and

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that's because it's a bit. Yeah, I mean, except for I keep my business my business life and my

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personal comedy life 100% separate. I mean, I like to be funny in the in business. But like when it

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comes to fucking getting down to brass tax. And like, I'm not gonna like talk shit or ever reveal

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any clients like like confidential stuff where in the comedy scene I got I gossip a lot. I legally

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cannot do this. And I wouldn't do it either way because that's bad business. No, but I think like

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Oh, no, it would show people a different side of me. Probably they'd be like, Oh, he's just not

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like how he is on stage. But then it's also like so you don't you don't want them to dig. You

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want to be more of a mystery. I understand that. I feel like it probably like that like you being

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a mystery. Yeah, you are. I don't I don't I don't know nothing. I know, we guess that was raised

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by trees. Okay, so this is what I know about your life. You were raised by trees. And then

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once you once you got old enough to leave the trees, you got adopted by some parents, your

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parents got divorced. Your dad was the lumberyard. Your dad is a cooler one. The above bar.

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You hit your head and the you hit your sister in the head of the baseball bat.

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And your dad was having trouble with custody. And you asked him why and then he said,

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yes, and why he's like, I don't know these people, you know, they just won't let me and you said,

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you should kill them. Yeah, why don't you kill them? That's all I know about your life. Why don't

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we kill them? Oh, wrestling. You did wrestling. Yeah, maybe it wouldn't help me. You know what,

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let's kind of do this. Let's what else have you done in your life? How was high school?

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Were you cool in high school or no? No, but I was high and cool. Did you have friends?

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Like sports friends more? Yeah, wrestlers. Yeah. Played football. Sometimes a coach would

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give me a hard time dealing shut up. It's Keith Jordan. True gentlemen. Dude, I love football

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coaches because they're like, what are the all the P's is five P's piss poor proper

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improper preparation prevents his performance. Nice. I like that one. You want to know why

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I remember that more because I mean, I can say this. We did a zoom call with Kelly Robinson.

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He was helping Michael just kind of get his feet wet with zoom calls with people. Kelly was so

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fucking funny and we had the head of our office. Her name is Randy from Randa.

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She's talking about them. I it was just really funny because Kelly Robinson,

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he just keeps talking and talking and talking. She's got like ash on his shirt from smoking

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a bar right beforehand. Okay. And then I don't know. He was going wild the whole time. Mike was

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well. Yeah, they're not clients. So he was saying they're not clients. That's why I can say this.

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Yeah. But maybe at some point, but we love Kelly Robinson, our favorite non patron fan.

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And here's to you, Kelly Robinson. Nice. So that should be a song to we're working on some songs.

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And that's gonna Kelly Robinson is Michael Robinson's dad in case I didn't make that clear.

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But we're gonna have a pretty much you're gonna have like a whole album of just dance songs.

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Why that you know, mostly dance songs. I haven't really I haven't really talked about this to the

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public, but I probably get a B switching off every month, a normal song and then a dance song.

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There's gonna be two separate albums. One is specifically, it's called the album will probably

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be called Dan jokes deal mo. And it's all songs about how Dan does see a mo as a joke thief.

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And then I'm gonna have another album product called chromity.

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Or crap, crap comedy, crappy comedy. Yeah, or or oh, comedy. No, how about menace to the comedy,

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like menace society? Have you seen that movie? I do too white, dude. No, but you've seen so many

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movies and all these scenes from the movies. No, menace to society is this is hood movie.

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It's a voice to men. Well, like, no, it's way different. The first scene they go into a

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Asian guys like store like this. This is part of why Asian people and black people don't get along

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or why Asian people are racist towards black peoples because a lot of times part of a lot

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of times the Asian poor Asians will come over but have enough to open a store in a bad neighborhood.

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And they just get robbed all the time. They just get robbed. Yeah. That's like what Jason said

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when he went to see my deal. Yeah. You're gonna have to set up that that is a funny bit. It's like

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it's like people people say that black people steal and I mean, one thing you got to understand

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is it's not about it's not about the race. It's about your socioeconomic class. I mean,

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like you wouldn't expect like Tyler Perry to steal, would you? I mean, except for when I saw

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Medea goes to prison. I kind of got rough. It's a very good show. Does he play a bunch of different

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characters in that movie? This is the first scene. This guy shoots the Asian guy in this movie I've

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never heard of. You Well, this is a movie that everyone knows about. This is a famous movie.

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Is this from the 90s? It's like it came out around the same time like probably like boys in the hood

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came out. Who's it? It's not I don't know if they're they're probably famous actors now, but when

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they're younger back then but this is from the 90s. Everybody's sort of this. So it's too society with

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the number two. That's where it got. It's an enormous movie. He has Norman it is that way?

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No, I'm not Jason. Don't try to don't try to rap. No, I'm not. Don't try to rap.

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Norm. Norm. What I'm saying, I'm a enormous. I'm a big enormous guy. I see how fat I am.

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I tried to get a movie as a. I'm getting fat. I'm getting fat

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to for for to get to try to get a movie for a movie role and they're like what's the movie role?

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They're like, well, it hasn't been a movie. Not a specific movie. Not a specific movie,

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but they're always looking for a fat guy. Yeah. And then he's like turned out they're not. There's

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plenty of them. They're more acting experience than me. Black people would be so upset with you

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if you haven't seen this movie. What other movies are like that? This is from 93. I need to watch all

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of them. You've seen Boys in the Hood. Yeah. Okay. Hey, listeners, if you can let us know

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about cool black movies that like black people would get pissed if you don't. But only like the

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we don't want like the we want the cool gangster ones. We don't want like the romantic ones.

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Some that I haven't seen like loving basketball and shit like that because I want the I want the

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gangsta shit. I don't want love and basketball. No, it's like that Adam Sandler has a basketball

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movie now. I think. Yeah. I don't want that. I want to see a teacher turn a group of well-behaved

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basketball players into thugs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want to see street ball. You could call it.

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Yeah, that'd be awesome. So there you can be there could be a movie where how about

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a classroom Hispanic women teaches teaches a bunch of honor a bunch of honor roll black poets.

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She teaches them. Yeah, she teaches them. They love it. And they're doing like they're on

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track to go to college. She teaches them how to sell drugs how to how to get violent.

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How do we store people how to what to wear to become a gangster. They're so good.

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They hire her just because they want the best test. Yeah, they need it. That would be the year

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and she tanks them. That would honestly be a very good comedy thing or like a portion of one of

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the scary like the scary movie movies. Yeah, those types of movies. I was just thinking that.

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There's like two movies like that at least. I love those parodies like what how American summer

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like not another teen movie. Not another teen movie. Amazing. Well, yeah, that one's a mix of a

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bunch. I know. That's like all those like what 70s or 80s movies combined. So stupid. I love I

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love that movie. When I first saw it and I didn't even see any of those movies. Yeah,

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I was like this is just fucking no. But those are the best movies. Those parodies if you can

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make a really good parody. It's the best kind of movie. Like I love like Billy Bob has like

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however many concussions left or whatever. Yes, they have it on the scoreboard.

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I love the redhead nerd kid like trying to get the girl or whatever.

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Or the guy I feel like I'm the guy with the it's like him filming or whatever. And that's

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like that guy does remind me of you. Yeah, I'm the man. I'm the main cool guy.

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You're the football player. Yeah. Well, actually I'm the I always like the blonde guy. That's like

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the the antagonist. That's what I was thinking about being the one who's the starting quarterback.

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Yeah, that's me. He's awesome. Because he's so cliche. He's like you're bad at football.

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Something like that. Like other snider remarks. And then Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls is in

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that. Oh yeah, true. She's fine as fuck. Dude, I don't like Mean Girls, dude. The movie Mean

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Girls. What do you like? Ren obviously or D.D. Yeah, that should have been in Mean Girls.

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Dude, Ren and D.D. are so mean. Yeah. And people we didn't get enough love on that clip. We're

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talking about Ren and D.D. Is it because we called them bitches or fake characters? I think it's

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because we called them bitches. I think it is. And people saw it as like feminist. Like you can't

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do that. We're talking about a cartoon who would ruin every other all of Dexter's things he did

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all of his inventions. Think about where the world would be if he was able to finish his

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inventions. No, I feel like a lot of people would would back us on that like Mean Girls. It's like

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that is undeniable about those characters. And then Ren. Ren clearly just a meanie. She's a meanie

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just because she has straight A's doesn't mean she's got to take it out on her on her brother who's

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supposed to want to have fun. No, let's wind it back. Rugrats Angelica. Bitch. Hello. Okay. Hey,

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I don't know. There's that bitch. Yeah. Oh, I can't see ours. What's her name? Long and

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there. There. There is a common thread in these where the woman like bitch. She's not an antagonist

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of the show. Like technically but she's a part of the show and she sucks. No, it's like they always

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just have it's like she's like a heel. Yeah. There's a heel but I mean there's always like

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obviously there's always like a male bully. But normally one of the main characters is a woman

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who is just a fucking Hermione dude. I'm sorry. I love her. Yeah, it's Hermione's Hermione. No,

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she's a she's a know it all nerd. You don't even know the spells. Yeah, I know what a pretentious

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like bitch. That a mean girl. And guys just you know we're talking about characters from movies.

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Okay, so if you think we're being like anti feminist, then shut up. Maybe check your bitches.

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Yeah, check your check your check your bitches and I'm talking about what's what are they talking

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about? And I'm talking about the cartoon characters and people from characters from movies who

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else is a bitch? Every woman in Breaking Bad is a bitch. Bitch. Every single. Have you watched

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Breaking Bad? No, my boss told me when I shaved my head, I look like it. Alright, I need to make

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a list of things for you to watch and listen to to join society from your treatment from your

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tree nation. Wild hogs. Breaking bad. You haven't watched Wild Hogs yet? No. So this is what you

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got to do. Give me that book report. Let me plan out your day. One. Let me plan out your day. Okay.

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Yeah. All right. So you wake up at 1030. Wild hogs. You can sleep in. No, you start off the bad.

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Hang out. Actually, I watched Wild Hogs at the beginning of the day to get your day going. Yeah.

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But I thought we're gonna use wild hogs for if you if you're a spiral bacon. Yeah, as like a so

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like like, does it doesn't give you tripping balls? You always want to have something that's a constant

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in the room? Maybe you know, it's like the or like inception when you have this top. So what

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what for you? At the beginning of the day, you'll maybe watch like menace society or something.

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Yeah, something new. Something you haven't seen. Is that not something new? Something you haven't

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seen yet? Yeah, something to get your I mean, after you watch, people getting shot and stuff,

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you really have an appreciation for life when you see, honestly, I'm on X sometimes the formerly

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known as Twitter. My whole algorithm is just 9 11 content. It'll be like this is the angle of the

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only journalists who got murdered. You talk about 9 11. Have you posted? No. But it, you know, it

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knows. It's for some reason, I get no 9 11 content. And yeah, mine's all just it'll sit but I also

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again, I don't really look through my feed. Yeah, I should use a content creator. One thing I do

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need to do is I I should like people's posts on the podcast thing like every everybody's yeah,

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maybe they'll help. Just do that. I remember every post when I first started was Derek strong,

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had a podcast called Epic cheat day podcast. That's what it was called. And he would like always

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like everybody's posts. Yeah, I wish I had some people do that. What do you say? Some people do

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that. Yeah, well, the people that constantly like our posts are of course the hosts and shout out

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to Ian Pet and Hank Cruz always likes our posts. We should make like an a goger goger Edwards.

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Always likes our posts. I don't want to I don't know if I want to release who that is.

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Goger Edwards. Yeah, it's a goger hands. He looks like he's the funny funny version of

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yeah, we we now work. Yeah. Yeah. We like to keep so although we throw a lot of dirt and

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shit out there, when it comes to our friends, we are the most loyal people in the fucking world.

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And even if we talk shit about you, it's josh and you know, if you're a friend,

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and you don't if you're a friend, we'll protect you, you got our protection.

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That's what happened when you defended Jerry. Yeah, I defended Jerry. And you know why I

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defended you. You want to know why? Because because Jerry is a patron.

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And I respect the gazelles. I think it's a fun event that people should go to.

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And it's a fake awards event. Even Jerry's own words. He posted like a thing like this is a

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dumb like joke event like have you ever heard of like a one off like show this chill? Yeah,

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and it's just and if it matters a little to you, then just don't go or don't post about it.

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Yeah, just think going after like, you know, something that's, you know, don't even name it,

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but you're just talking about it exactly. Yeah, some pussy shit. Well, what just say, you know,

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well, what are the what's the percentage chance that Zako would have posted that had he been

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nominated best comic? Yeah, exactly. Well, what zero zero. I know for a fact,

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you would not oppose anything close to that. He probably would have promoted the comedy gazelle.

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So I don't know a lot of narcissists out there. I'm not saying I'm not one. But

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I'm more of a car carcassist. I like cars. You do like cars. I like carski. Actually,

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I do like I do like Mark Karski. But I do like I do like making fun of Mark Karski.

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That's just like making fun of everybody. I do. I mean, it's a fun activity. I like to

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bust balls. I'm a dick, but I'm a dick, but I'm not an asshole. Yeah. So I do want to get a

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t shirt that says that. I like to I like to bust balls. I'm not a dick. I'm not an asshole. I'm

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just a dick. It is nice like thinking about if you're making fun of someone in the scene. It's

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like that is original, like, no matter what you're doing, because no one else is talking about that

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person. So just like making fun of that or no one else is making fun of it. What I'm doing it.

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But I mean, I say the same shit on the podcast as I would say in person to 99% of these people.

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Let me talk about whether it be Dale or Zach or or just no matter what we do on here, we're just,

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you know, this is this is this is us. This is if we had anybody if let's say MC lights you sitting

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here with a dangly earring, I'd probably hurt him. No, it's like we're talking about Dale's personal

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hell. Yeah. And if they were sitting here, we'd be saying the same thing. Yeah, we're not we're not

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we're not hiding behind a podcast. So here we it's bad to talk behind people's backs. We can all

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agree about that. Here we talk in front of we talk in front of their backs. Okay, in front of their

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backs, we talk in front of their backs. And I don't know. It's I don't think that's bad.

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It doesn't have to be bad. In my opinion, it's not bad. I mean, if you want to listen and see if

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you're talked about, then you should listen and be talked more shit about. I like the

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like on the matriarch and the huge knife. Yeah, I'm gonna put the machete on there. And got the

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gun holder. Yeah. Oh, can you slide and grab a samurai sword? Watch your headphones. Oh, that's

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cool. And you're on you can grab your staff. True. Thank you. I love my snake. Yeah. Yeah,

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you're here's the who they could make a sword that Gilbert's like, that can be your that can be

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your libertarian sword. Snake. Yeah. Yeah, don't try it on me. Yeah, please. Dude. Yeah, we won't.

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I had to pay all these taxes. I felt pretty treaded on. And I said, I sent an email to the US

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government IRS and I said, he has just stopped treading on me. Yeah, like for real. Honestly,

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I saw this thing about, do you think that you have to pay federal income tax and maybe we shouldn't

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even get into this. Now we say we can talk about it quickly. But what what just do you actually

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have to pay federal income taxes on this? No. I don't know. I think we do that trends on social

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media. People say that there's no law that actually says you have to you do or you are

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believe that's tax evasion. Yeah, like I'm not that guy. But yeah, I saw this guy who said like,

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I haven't paid it in 30 years and they know who I am. I'm like, I don't want them. No, he's probably

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a guy on the run. That's what you legally have to pay federal and state income tax. Yeah,

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yeah, it's it's tax it's tax law. That's why they have the internal revenue service to enforce that.

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Can we talk about Elon? I think Jason would like this if we talked about how much of a genius he is.

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He's a genius. He's a business visionary. Yeah, yeah. Jason's argument was that since he doesn't

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do all the groundwork that he's not a visionary or any kind of it's it's it's such a dumb argument.

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You got to be a visionary. Jason would be a visionary. It's such a dumb argument. Yeah. I mean,

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think about how many companies that have been around for a long time that just get a CEO because

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the CEO is their charismatic or they have a new vision for the company to communicate. They're

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not going to be the person in the coal mine of that coal company. No, or someone that knows better

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hope. Yeah. But then they should do it like sometimes. So they understand I think well,

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I mean, I mean, he does he knows how to do the computer stuff. I mean, or he but he's at a level

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of management where he doesn't have to do that. Like at my level of management, I need to lead by

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example. So if I'm going to tell people to do shit, I got to do that shit. At his level, he doesn't.

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Yeah, but he'll like still go and like see the micro processes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he'll

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want to people say he's like a two Richard everybody paid the most income tax. So looking

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me over here, I'm trying to fraud the government. And then we have Elon's paid the most income tax

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of all time. He's 2023. He paid the most taxes out of any cool super villain. Yeah, he's a who

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I love super villains. Now we're talking. I don't love mean girls. Yeah. Oh, I want to wrap

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back to mean girls mean girls is a movie that men and women alike love. Yeah, for some reason. It's

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not because it's it seems like a chick flick, but it's just a good movie. It is a damn good movie

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mean characters in there. Mean Yeah, mean girls is excellent. You got fucking Gretchen Wieners.

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Yeah. Yeah, Regina George, like Tina Fey's like a side character kind of yeah meadows. Yeah.

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That's such a bars in that. Yeah. And they got a lot of hot girls in that movie. They got they

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got Lindsay Lohan. I thought you said yeah, I was gonna say Lindsay Rohan like from Lord of

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the Rings and like this for row on. Yeah, I mean, like I know that you know what they have in there

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mean girls. That's all I know. Yeah. Well, that movie is about some pretty mean girls. Yeah.

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I actually thought that there were two Lindsay Lohans when I was a kid, like for real thought

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that because of the movie, the parent trap. I did to I thought that too. I was like, what happened

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to the other one? Yeah, that's like, can you imagine if there was one and a half Jonas Brothers?

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Yeah, I thought that would you choose? I always thought that the dad in parent

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trap was a cool as dude. Kevin Costner, maybe. Oh, yeah, for sure. Maybe Kevin Costner or someone

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has daughters is like a wingman, dude. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I think I was a man.

363
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:04,040
That's how you run a house. So old mom was pretty. Oh, no, remember the fucking.

364
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:12,600
And remember the dad's new wife, the stepmother? She was a bitch. She was a mean girl. Meredith Blake

365
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,880
was her name. I don't know how the fuck I remember that. Her name was Meredith Blake.

366
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,800
That's how mean she was. That was the care that she hurt you. Yeah, well, I used to do.

367
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,720
We used to joke about how much of a bitch she was me and my siblings and my sister and shit.

368
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:30,200
And my brother's name. But yeah, fucking. You're being like Meredith Blake right now.

369
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:34,920
Yeah. And it's just like, I don't know. There's I just feel like that movie was problematic.

370
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:39,880
There's, you know, this whole step porn thing now. And I feel like how many people are going to parent

371
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:45,560
trap each other. Yeah, I don't like it. It could be problematic. Yeah. And the whole twins thing.

372
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:51,480
People have it twins fetish, you know. Yeah. And then you have just like, if we turn this into

373
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:58,040
an Aaron Chase style podcast, so Mac just kind of growing up. Did you have some mean girls in your

374
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:06,200
life? My sister. I mean, so she was the only girl and she was the oldest. I was the oldest boy.

375
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:15,160
And so we were and there's two boys after. So there was there was a power struggle over who was

376
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:24,760
that the head of the kids, because I was able to train these these boys to be one gay. And you

377
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:29,480
sound like you want to start a cult. No, but I mean, I would hang out with the brothers. I mean,

378
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:34,040
I was the oldest of the brothers. So I was kind of the oldest in their minds. Kind of the man.

379
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:39,960
And then my sister just was kind of jealous and kind of a bitch. She kind of trying to sabotage

380
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:45,240
your life. Yeah. Aside from that, not too many bad things with women. I mean, mom, mom would be a

381
00:39:45,240 --> 00:39:52,520
bitch sometimes. Like kind of a lot, but mom's right. Women do. Yeah. No, but I had some fun friends.

382
00:39:52,520 --> 00:40:01,560
I was popular in high school. You're popular in college or leader of your fraternity. And I

383
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:05,400
imagine that that has some wounds that still I've always been I've always been the same kind of guy.

384
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:10,520
Yeah, you know, I've just been this. So I'm so I'm a guy who I have a lot of friends.

385
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:21,400
But you got Celeste. They know to they know that they know what I am, you know, I'm not I'm not

386
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:27,880
somebody that like you keep a lot of kinds of metal clothes. Dude, I'm very straight up. You

387
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:34,920
know, I don't fuck around. I do not lie. I hate people that lie. Like people that like like

388
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:41,080
compulsive liars. That's one of my least favorite things. I think I think my my most important

389
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:48,360
tenets of a person is at least standard honesty. Just no no blatant lying. Yeah, just baseline

390
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:57,720
honesty. You know, honesty, loyalty. I mean, being cool and funny. I was the first thing in the

391
00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:03,480
beginning. It doesn't matter if yeah, yeah. And then you don't want that kind of honesty, loyalty,

392
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:13,320
and then then cool steeper club tea and then and then Brain Spa will have a promo code soon for

393
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:20,040
that comedy. Oh, no, no. And then and then prompting it's being on time. Oh, yeah. Oh,

394
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:27,960
I don't know. Being a being a manager for because as a manager for seven years, a lot of late late

395
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:34,680
bloomers. Yeah, lots of late bloomers and a lot of angry me and I got PTSD because you're trying

396
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:39,080
to deliver cars places and pick them up. Yeah, like we would have shit that would need to be done

397
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:45,080
right off the bat. And he was rolling in like, Hey, what's up? And I'm like, what's up? Yeah,

398
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:51,320
let's stop it. What's up is I'm gonna the number of Carson and then this lot. Uh huh. I would get

399
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:57,400
pissed off for you. I kind of spidey sense. But let's not talk about my old work. Yeah,

400
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:06,520
due to the lame dude due to regal regal lesons. Yeah. No, just legality is it's not always black

401
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:13,640
and white, you know, just to the average. Yeah. With our black and white lawyers. I wonder what

402
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:20,200
percentage of lawyers are black. Very low percentage, I assume to kill a mockingbird.

403
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:27,000
Right. I'm gonna look up judges and yeah, and juries. Check out jury. Well, juries are all

404
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:32,440
selected like different. A screenshot something from my ex account the other day because I was

405
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,680
talking about. Oh, I look just like I got something. Go ahead. I was just talking about

406
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:42,840
jewelry and jewelry or whatever. I saw it on Twitter saying like something just all my joke.

407
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:48,680
No, it was just like referencing but not stealing your joke. Oh, wait, just like jewelry. I think

408
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:54,440
that they meant jewelry. Oh, I gotta play something that Dale sent me. Someone did a pan transparent

409
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:58,680
someone did a transparent stroke and a kill Tony. Oh, really? It's I don't think it's nearly as good

410
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:06,520
as mine. No, just, you know, kill Tony's only a minute. Well, I know. I mean, my joke is like 20

411
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:12,760
minutes. Yeah, and it's just like way better. Dude, I mean, her joke. All right, let's see if

412
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:17,400
I'm gonna try to have it come through here. Well, I was like, damn, I want to do years on there.

413
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:26,200
Oh, it's not connected. Turns out it was Adam Freeland did that joke too. Yeah. Adam Freeland

414
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:32,360
likes to take my jokes. When did the big dick energy joke on there? So the joke is so his

415
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:44,440
joke. This guy's joke. He performed it very bad and it was my dad is he's trans. I don't really

416
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:52,920
see him much. My trade my transparent is transparent. Yeah, it's like a shorter version of

417
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:58,440
yeah, but mine's funnier because it's both my parents, first of all, yeah, and then they became

418
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:03,400
each other. And then yeah, and there's a better there's a better build up and a punch line. Yeah,

419
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:10,120
I like yours more. Mine is this is like how I would do yours. Yeah, but yeah, I'm like a more

420
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:15,720
elaborate one because that one like the cross, like your dad became your mom and what like that.

421
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:19,640
So I love I love doing that joke of my parents are there. It's like, right? That's like a little

422
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:25,640
bow you're wrapping. Yeah, that one. That one's never done bad except for one time in Pittsburgh.

423
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:30,120
Someone went wow, wow, somebody went want want want because it didn't get a good

424
00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:36,680
bunch of laughs. Really? We did two shows at this arcade comedy bar club. 100% because it was a

425
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:42,120
trans joke. It was it was because it was trans. And that crowd saw we did two shows that night

426
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:48,760
though. So at the same place, the second crowd like it crushed on. So just the crowd sounds like

427
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:54,920
it's only what I want. I went want want want to you. My parents are trans. What's wrong with you?

428
00:44:56,120 --> 00:45:03,880
Perfect response. Yeah, they were hating on your parents being trans. Yeah, trying to make fun of

429
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:09,000
and the thing is, it was definitely a person. It was a few persons they felt bad probably.

430
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,800
They probably did kind of rethink their actions should have said talk to me after the show.

431
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:18,200
Yeah, my parents, they're my parents are actually here. So I would like a personal apology to them.

432
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:22,840
Good luck. Guess which ones I should have done that. Yeah. And then I would have said that Jason's

433
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:28,520
used to be my mom. Yeah, I mean that one clip that blew up with your mom and I thought that

434
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:35,000
that was your mom. He was your dad. Yeah, yeah. Originally, I mean, yeah, because I said dad.

435
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:42,040
I was I was I was ending a joke with it wasn't really a punchline, but it's I'm not even Jewish.

436
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:48,120
Yeah. And then my mom yells out, Yeah, you are. And then I was like, I was like, I didn't really

437
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:56,040
respond to walk into my notebook. And then I was like 13%. And I was like, Yeah. And then she's

438
00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:02,360
like, How'd you find that out? And I was like, shut the fuck up, mom. Yeah. I'm trying to do my dream

439
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:10,600
here. This is my art. And then and then that was a good clip. Yeah, no, it is your dream and your

440
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:16,200
art. Yeah, that was all off the cuff to pretty pretty cool guy. Gordon asked me if I was Jewish

441
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:22,680
earlier. But I have a lot of you jokes. And I do have a new one that's been in friends. I'm Jewish.

442
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:28,760
Yeah, 13% Jewish. That's why I was able to say that word on the last on the other on the if you

443
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,960
want if you want to hear that word that you're not supposed to say about Jewish people.

444
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:41,480
Patreon.com. So it's bad comedy. It runs a spike TV. Yeah. And in Dick Van Spike. That's actually

445
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:46,360
where it came from. Yeah. Well, actually, you're gonna say Dick Van Dyke. Yeah. Just because he had

446
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:51,400
I don't know, you know, history of falling, you know, our last episode got demonetized

447
00:46:51,400 --> 00:47:03,400
for for graphic speech. Yeah, that is I was in speech class of up a couple times today. But I

448
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:09,640
liked it in that clip the other day when I said, fuck, yeah, spell that fuck. Well, it's funny.

449
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:17,880
What I like doing is when it's like insane situation, like it's like 9 11 or what your

450
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:21,000
reaction would be if you're surrounded, you know, your whole castle is going to get up with

451
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:27,080
you killed. I'd be like, What's the heck? I need to be like, God damn it. Yeah.

452
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,760
I really like for a while, I was obsessed with that little bits where it go like,

453
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:35,480
yeah, that's good.

454
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:44,040
That's very very unprofessional. It's it's kind of like phone. It's absurd how much like stuff I

455
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:49,240
come up with how much material I could have if I just voice my mode. Yeah, you should do that.

456
00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:54,760
Why don't you? I don't know. Stand up. I forget because then I forget to do that. If I forget

457
00:47:55,400 --> 00:48:00,760
right after I think of it, I forget to voice my moment. No, dude, I do every time. And then you

458
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:06,120
always then you'd want to go do open mics. I thought about like I have to go drop this. I

459
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:11,880
thought about that fucking. It's a one block walk to Walgreens. And I thought I thought about the

460
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:19,960
to where the to Walgreens where I went to cash earlier. And like this. So Adam, if you're watching

461
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:26,760
like this, Adam Gilbert ATM joke again soon too. Oh, yeah, fuck yeah, throw in the holidays.

462
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:36,120
Yes. Maybe I mean, I can just like text a few people and go on their shows. Yeah, I'm not I

463
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:44,280
I can what? Yeah, you can you can get on a show instead. Yeah, you should do then you get longer.

464
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:50,120
Well, yeah, I mean, give it up. That's so comedy. That's not really working. I'm not doing any good

465
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:57,160
time. I'm kind of like sorrow. I mean, I don't I don't do my now I do I've been to like a heck of

466
00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:03,960
I went to I've almost gone do a Micah week. But you know what you would do for like the set,

467
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:10,600
you know, so it's just like, yeah. Well, I know the organization I set normally. Yeah, I like

468
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:17,080
starting with a 9 11 joke. I you start off with my pansexual joke. But now I now I have that lead

469
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:24,520
in to like the transparent family was liberal all that they hate that I've gone. So I go from a 9

470
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:29,880
11 to gone all that all that sexuality shit maybe did maybe dated my brother. And you have more

471
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:35,560
momentum and credibility for when you get into your even heavier hitters. But yeah, 9 11 one

472
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:40,920
establishes that that that it's going to be weird. And that it's not going to be standard comedy.

473
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,600
The punchline the punchlines are all in the middle on that one. Yeah, it's like I think my

474
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:50,200
transparent joke is one of my only ones with like a legit format for a regular joke.

475
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:56,440
No, because it has a setup within the punchline. A lot of my jokes aren't like that. No, but I like

476
00:49:56,440 --> 00:50:02,520
the different lengths. Yeah, just different. I still can't I still can't time out a 10 or 15

477
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:07,800
minutes set. I had material for I just I always time it wrong. When somebody like six minutes

478
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:13,560
of PD show bags. Yeah, I think I was with you. Yeah, you did eight minutes. Yeah, I always go

479
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:17,160
under there. So I'm just gonna start over writing for that one. I think it's just better that it

480
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:22,600
just like do your jokes and get off stage or something. Oh, that's what I do. Yeah, I mean,

481
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:28,200
the fans don't think about it. Yeah. Well, I'd be like, how much time I got left PD? Yeah.

482
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:37,320
And then you'd be like, uh, six, five minutes. He'd be like, eight minutes. And I'd be like,

483
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:43,320
I've done eight minutes. He'd be like, you have eight minutes left. But normally I don't say

484
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:48,520
how much time I got unless a joke bombs. I got eight minutes on that's a classic material.

485
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,920
That's a classic thing to say when I'm sorry, I stepped on that date again. It doesn't it's

486
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:59,080
not I stepped on that same exact bit on another episode. Yeah, it's okay. I think it has potential.

487
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:03,720
Well, I didn't understand the joke at first. And then I think people, yeah, just because not

488
00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:08,680
everyone knows the eight minute of because the joke is explain the joke. You have to

489
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:14,280
in the other day. I'll tell you and this is history. He has 20 minutes on asplay.

490
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:20,680
Dan is 20 minutes on dogs. Mark can riff or whatever. Wash your porn for an hour.

491
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:26,520
I got 60 minutes on the show. 60 minutes. You got you do have 60 minutes of material on 60

492
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:33,240
minutes. I have a sick album 24 hours on the of the show 24. That was a good show.

493
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:38,360
And I but that that's a good day of material. That's a show that looks like it was good.

494
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:43,800
And I never watched it. But I think it's a good show. I'll tell you what key for Southern

495
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:48,520
linear. You don't got to watch it. It's good. You know, and you know men of society is a good

496
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:54,040
movie. I haven't seen it but it's good. Yeah, you can just give it its flowers. Yeah. Sorry for

497
00:51:54,040 --> 00:52:01,560
touching your knee with my foot. No, it's okay. Ney. Yeah, so knee. What's the knee? Neon. No,

498
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:09,080
knee is how those trees talk in. Yeah, in that those gay British movies. What are those called?

499
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:14,680
And Monty Python. Lord of the Rings. Do you ever watch Monty Python shit? Yeah. So there's

500
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:19,960
those trees that would go knee. Oh, wow, really? I think they're tree. Are there giants, maybe? I

501
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:26,120
don't know. Giant racists. Yeah. But Monty Python. Those movies can all suck my dick. They're just

502
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:33,160
like the lame improv like SNL out there, I guess. I don't know what it is. But I don't like anything

503
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:38,520
that has to do with improv. Actually, wait, no, I love improv. Yeah, because it podcasting is

504
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:46,120
an improv. You know, even doing improv and just comedy in general 30 and a half years roughly.

505
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:53,640
Yeah, I'm at 30 years almost 30 and a half. Yeah. What's your birthday? August 93.

506
00:52:55,640 --> 00:53:01,640
You don't want to get the full one. Mine's June 3 93. Mine's Juneteenth 93.

507
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:12,840
Yeah, I wish I wish I yeah, I was a we should two new people joined my team yesterday and their

508
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:20,760
birthdays were all like in the Juneteenths. It's funny. No, I was actually I mean, I mean,

509
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:31,400
I mean, the Juneteenth joke to Junes to the to the white one, I think. Black one. Yeah, it's just,

510
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:36,040
you know, it's just it's not intentional. It is funny that our show we call it Jantin.

511
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:44,680
That's funny. I mean, we on Jantin. We have a like we have black fans like we have a big black

512
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:50,360
fan base, especially down in Missouri, the Robinsons in in I forgot what county in Missouri.

513
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:58,040
They run shit down there. It's a growing area, which is good. It's good. But the Robinsons

514
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:04,280
run shit down there. They got fucking family at the ass. And it's becoming not it used to be all

515
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:09,320
country. Now it ain't that country. A lot of a different kind of a lot of like people say up here,

516
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:13,640
like you sound country is here. Is that good? It's a different kind of famine.

517
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:20,920
And when you're famine with your fam famine with the fam. Yeah, that's like every your family right

518
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:25,320
now, dude, we're family. We're not in your family. We're not having a famine. I'm not that hungry.

519
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:32,680
Nice. So hungry for success. And that's it. If you have a hunger strike with your whole family.

520
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:37,720
Yeah, that's that's what I call it actual famine. So that's like that's an absolute famine. Probably

521
00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:43,720
it doesn't sound optional. Why would you? Yeah, no, it's optional. But it's your whole family is

522
00:54:43,720 --> 00:54:51,400
doing a famine, a hunger strike. So I think that it's like that song. I'm going hungry. I'm going

523
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:58,440
hungry. Exactly. This one should be called hunger strike or famine. I'm stealing punchline.

524
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:09,240
It's been a while since I have written my own jokes nice and every bit that I

525
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:19,080
stole from I have performed on stage. This is a preview of something probably to come in a

526
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:24,440
few months, folks. I'm just gonna apologize in advance to Khalil. There's a non zero chance that

527
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:30,680
I might play dill leal in the video. But it's not real. It's just kind of what sometimes things

528
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:36,920
happen in comedy where wait, I have a better idea. All right. Wait, turn your mic off real quick.

529
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:48,600
Okay, sorry. I have an idea. So this isn't Dylan don't really see yours. But I have an idea.

530
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:55,080
Hey, there, Delilah. Hey, there, hey, there, cool. Hey, there, why'd you actually?

531
00:55:56,360 --> 00:56:00,040
I mean, you don't have to do just one song. That's the beauty of it, folks. And I feel like

532
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:05,080
yeah, but I don't want to I don't want to repeat songs. I think dandosteamo should be the constant

533
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:09,240
of the review one. But other ones weekend, we can talk about people. But I don't think we should

534
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:14,360
do multiple songs about one person except for Dan. We can talk about Dan's the constant jar will be

535
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:20,680
one and we'll say you can have you try to in the new in the new one that we're working on include

536
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:26,120
James because you can a little bit. Yeah, I have something cooked up that I can turn your mic off

537
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:34,200
for. We'll talk about it after that. So yeah, and I also just have I've heard of a situation

538
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:41,160
within Chicago comedy that is a it's just kind of you know, if someone gives you a show concept,

539
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:47,560
you know, and and it's an original kind of show, you know, and your name's Sam Roka, I think is

540
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:57,880
outside. And you just get handed a show concept of a fake DJ character, they're already playing

541
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:05,400
plus live music. What is this show? It's a fuck what's it called? I'm glad I don't remember what

542
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:11,640
do they do on the show? What's the what's the idea playing an MPR character, but then it like has

543
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:18,840
actual like musical guests on it. It's a live show that you practice for or it's a bike. It's a real

544
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:25,160
show. It's like almost like a almost like a play. But just like it has like kill myself. Think about

545
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:30,200
that's a good idea. I was watching some and some someone might have you know, like written the whole

546
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:35,880
thing. Yeah, I've been given it to that person that's doing it. He's funny. And then they just

547
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:42,440
cut them out and don't pay comics. Yeah, this is something that is I don't know that's even crazier

548
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:49,080
than stealing just a joke. Yeah. I don't know. And then you pay the whole script and then got it

549
00:57:49,080 --> 00:58:00,040
stolen. You pay the exposure. Exposure I barely know where me and Mike. So me and me and Michael

550
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:08,200
Robinson, we've been working during the day. And then at night either like he'll this is after our

551
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:17,480
we did that camp, this sober camp. Then either who got to show I've been trying to stay in and

552
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:23,560
just work on the house since I've been putting that off from studying. But we watch just like

553
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:30,360
true true crime shit from YouTube on the like the interview videos. Like this shows like these

554
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:35,080
three things show that this guy is a psychopath. Yeah. I'm like, I'm just sitting there like,

555
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:43,240
what are they not me? Not me. For sure. No, you are for this one guy like there were like things

556
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:48,920
that exactly mess up to me. And I was like, let's hear. I was like, okay, okay, we'll know. To be

557
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:54,920
honest. No, okay. Main thing for I forgot what the points were. You forgot what the point. No,

558
00:58:54,920 --> 00:59:03,320
because it's weird because in normally sociopaths are I mean, so me and him were discussing that

559
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:09,400
most of these matched you the most. Like you like what like anti social personality. So you

560
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:15,800
remember some. No, no, no, no, psychopaths and sociopath they can cross paths. There could

561
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:20,520
be autism mixed with different things. We didn't officially diagnose you because we're not professionals

562
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:24,600
or we're not like Jason. I don't even think professionals could. I think it's all just

563
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:30,520
whatever you get tested for if the test is probably well that it is not that the thing is you can't

564
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:35,880
it's not like that. I mean, I mean, everybody has a different brain. So it can be you can't just

565
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:40,200
label someone just a straight up psychopath or should have sociopath they could be a mix of the

566
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:45,240
two less they're way you can have a little bit of autism in there, you know, a little mix of

567
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:51,720
fucking just being a fucking Joker. So I was thinking you should be the broker. I will say that

568
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:56,760
you can be you you can you can be the walkie you can be the walkie and Joker but I didn't

569
00:59:56,760 --> 01:00:00,920
see that one yet. Oh really? I thought about watching last night. I thought it might be a

570
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:07,960
bad influence on me. It's good. It's it's you for sure. I am the dark night Joker. I don't give a

571
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:13,640
fuck. But that's my all I want to do is watch the world burn. No, you're the Jack Nicholson

572
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:20,040
Joker. That's why I'm sorry, dude. I'm I'm I'm the Joker. I just want to watch my doppelganger.

573
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:25,320
I understand. Even if you look like them, it fits. It's way more fitting to me based on what he

574
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:30,760
wanted to do. You don't even do my scene more. Exactly. This for me. I write so many jokes.

575
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:37,400
I'm the Joker who cares the dark night one. No, no, you're you're the because he actually

576
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:42,600
tries stand. He does stand up in that one. Dude, you should do reef ledger. And then it'll be the

577
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:48,200
dark night. But you do green face again. I'm a Keith ledger and he's his brother. And he writes

578
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:54,120
on ledgers. If you want, yeah, you should play that because you're a stock guy now. But be no,

579
01:00:54,120 --> 01:01:01,000
your Heath ledger is like a but then you're also the broker. No. Well, I always I always I never

580
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:05,080
knew that Heath Ledger as an actor. I thought it was kind of like you work at a convenience store

581
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,680
and you have the ledger while the Heath bar is like it's old. Yeah, I was thinking of that.

582
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:13,720
I kind of thought I always thought his name was Keith. Yeah. Yeah. Or just like Bruno Mars bar.

583
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:21,080
Well, my rapid name is Bruno bars. You know this. Yeah. But then who would be Bruno Mars bar?

584
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:29,400
Bruno Mars bar. Remember who I said was like Bruno Mars? Oh, Jason avocado. Right. Jason

585
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:35,880
Acevedo. I have a few songs. So if you've heard the song Never Been by Wiz Khalifa. Jason Acevedo's

586
01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:44,200
version is I got a double chin. But then but then when he puts the scarf over it, yeah,

587
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:48,840
you put the scarf over it. So but there's another one ever chin. Another one that's at the same

588
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:59,720
many men. Many chance. I put a scarf upon me. So we like and mercy on my chains. Like small people.

589
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:06,440
I gotta I gotta hide them some more. If you're medium sized, what are you just like a two person

590
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:13,640
podcast now? Yeah, just kind of crazy how that works. So Jason told Mike, I think I'd go on that

591
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:20,840
podcast and I was like, yeah, like you're definitely been invited. Yeah, for sure. One time maybe I

592
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:27,000
would have I'd have Jason avocado on. No, but you'd have to ask politely. Would you have Jason

593
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:31,720
mountain back on this after you see this? Isn't it you know, this reminds me of this is like her

594
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:38,760
Cameron with the banana. This reminds me of who's that James Cameron. This reminds you of James

595
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:45,640
Cameron exactly with style. James Cameron. Yes, James Cameron. But a bunch of Cameron's and and

596
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:52,040
cameras. Yes, this is gonna say so we need some weird if we're gonna keep this looking James Cameron,

597
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:56,920
we're gonna need some more cameras. You don't have an idea how about we lock in this kind of

598
01:02:56,920 --> 01:03:01,640
set of camera like you just don't use this as your office anymore. This is just no I mean,

599
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:07,000
I'll we got to do is I mean, I can keep this the sizes locked like that. That's why it was

600
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:11,320
that's why I caution tape around here. Let's get some chalk to know where that doesn't matter as

601
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:17,000
long as they're good like this that we can reformat on that. So reformat why because of no,

602
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:22,600
I just got to move it back and stuff. Yeah, I mean, yeah, what we got to do something about him.

603
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:27,320
The problem is I can't I can't fire him because I would fire you first. That's the order of

604
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:31,880
operations contract. So what are operations? I should not have signed that bad deal. I was

605
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:36,440
thinking about recently was like I signed away all my intellectual property. Jason can pretty much

606
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:40,600
do whatever he wants because I can't fire him. Let's go fire you first and then I have to build

607
01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:46,440
a whole new podcast. You can fire my co host. No, he fired me fired Jason rehire me.

608
01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:55,160
That's the move. That's the play. You rehire after double cross. It doesn't say anything about

609
01:03:55,160 --> 01:04:02,120
rehiring me after that's true. I wonder honest, I wonder let's say let's say I fired the both of

610
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:09,880
you. Yeah. Who do you think probably albours would want to be on it? Yeah. Someone else said they

611
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:15,000
wanted to be on it really bad. I want to put a line of the Khalil song I wanted to say best

612
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:23,640
comics Alex Luchin. Oh, no way. I would I would I would find a way he's like a like a higher like

613
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:31,240
Pokemon than it's like me and Jason combined. He's like a master ball. He's amazing. He's a very rare

614
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:37,240
card. He's like a mute to he's already got the he's the mute to have comedy. He's quit. That was

615
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:43,800
my favorite Pokemon. Honestly, you to oh man. Can you please mute Jason and I do mute to

616
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:48,840
yeah Luchin is the funniest guy. We should make a Pokemon card for him and I guess his

617
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:53,640
standup was really good in the past to yeah that guy I mean I understand why he would quit.

618
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:57,880
Dude, we should do that. We should make some but based on what he does. I wonder how many

619
01:04:57,880 --> 01:05:02,600
hours he has to spend a week at his work. I don't want to talk about what he does on the

620
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:09,080
what he does is a great doctor Phil impression that's still doing numbers and yeah doesn't make

621
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:14,120
me or Jason look good. We keep getting. Yeah, I know about we don't do that one anymore. Yeah.

622
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:20,200
It's so we don't need it. Our guest just has the time gives us by far the best one. Yeah,

623
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:27,480
I don't know. I still don't know if it beat the the purple dick wrapped around the neck one. Yeah,

624
01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:34,040
we'll have to go back and research. Cool. God tried to take me out right away. Yeah. And then

625
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:37,880
if you want to get taken out if you want to knock it taken out by God, Patreon.com,

626
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:43,560
such bad comedy. There's a way to sure fire protect you as well as your family and close

627
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:50,040
friends that you assure fire way to keep you out of the fires of hell. Yeah. So if you guys aren't

628
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:59,880
big fans of eternal damnation. Yeah. And I just want to say to anybody who doesn't come to our

629
01:05:59,880 --> 01:06:09,400
live show, I will tell anybody who doesn't come to our live show, I will rain fire down on you

630
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:15,720
like the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah and burn your whole fucking life. This is gonna get demonetized.

631
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:21,480
Yes. I'm even making money anyway. Just go to our show. Go to our show. It's gonna be awesome.

632
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:27,880
How do we get demonetized before we get monetized? Right? Yeah, it's tough. Certainly that

633
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:39,400
juice. Fuck. Fuck. So it's going. Oh, it's four. Okay, yeah, we got to close off. So most important

634
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:44,280
things, folks, patreon.com slash bad comedy. If you become a baddie, you're very important. You're

635
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:51,640
under our protection. Okay. This isn't this is an extortion. All we're saying. Listen, listen,

636
01:06:51,640 --> 01:07:00,280
listen here, folks, join patreon.com. All I want to say is if you pay $3.99 a month, that's insurance.

637
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:05,400
You got protection. I can't protect you against all these crazy comedians out there that might

638
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:11,960
be attacking you unless you get insurance. You should get pun insurance. Pun yeah, pun insurance.

639
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:17,720
Unless you get punished, punished. We need punishment insurance. So you don't get punished.

640
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:24,840
We will not punish you ever, except for maybe sometimes. Pun insurance today. Yeah. So I want

641
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:29,240
to say is if you don't want anything bad to happen, you don't want anything bad to happen. It's not

642
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:33,000
going to be us. Definitely not going to be us. You don't want anything bad to happen. That would be

643
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:39,720
very unfortunate. It would be very unfortunate if someone happened to use. Yeah, be very unfortunate

644
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:44,440
if somebody happened to break all the windows in the house and do something like that. I'm not

645
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:47,800
saying it's going to be me. All I'm saying is we can make sure they don't happen to you. There's

646
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:51,800
a lot of crazy people in the neighborhood. Yeah, and we hope that's all that gets broken. Yeah.

647
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:57,240
And well, yeah, you got to buy tickets at the live show. That's a part of the it's a down payment

648
01:07:57,240 --> 01:08:03,560
for insurance. Doesn't sound like a bad choice to me, boss. Hey, $3.99 a month. That's $3.99 cents.

649
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:10,120
That makes a lot of sense to me. Makes a lot of sense. $3.90. Think about that, guys. I resort

650
01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:15,880
to violence. That's a cent less than a dollar. According to marketing, that's that helps. So

651
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:22,760
help us out and help yourselves out to some amazing content at patreon.com slash bad comedy comedy bar

652
01:08:23,480 --> 01:08:32,440
Jan 10th, which is January 10th. Comedy bar tickets in the description. Follow us on Instagram and

653
01:08:32,440 --> 01:08:37,480
Facebook and everywhere else. You can also find the link there or go to comedy comedy bar calm.

654
01:08:37,480 --> 01:08:43,240
I love comedy bar. You know who has my protection comedy bar. Yep. We love comedy bar on behalf

655
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:51,480
of comedy bar out of the three clubs in Chicago. Comedy bar is the best one. And I'll tell I'll

656
01:08:51,480 --> 01:08:56,040
also I saw there. They have a cool podcast studio there. Hell yeah. Not saying that we'd move there

657
01:08:56,040 --> 01:09:01,320
because this is our home. But we will be there. They have a cool spot and we will check it out.

658
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:07,160
And we will be there doing be on the main stage. It would mean the world for anyone to come out

659
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:12,840
and it mean the world not to have to go click click click. Yeah. And somebody who was to me is kind

660
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:19,400
of unfortunate. Yeah. Yeah. Don't don't and then they don't want me to samurai so you know shows over

661
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:24,600
I'm kind of switching over from being a gun guy to a samurai sword guy. Yeah. I kind of learned the

662
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:30,520
ways of the Yakuza. I'm trying to learn the ways of the Glock. I bought a jacuzzi is as a I think

663
01:09:30,520 --> 01:09:38,680
is about a jacuzzi and I'm in the Yakuza. I hope you jacuzzi. I'm jacuzzi. He's very jacuzzi.

664
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:44,280
So jacuzzi. Oh by the way. I've been drinking blood folks. He has been drinking blood this entire

665
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:50,440
time. The blood of dragons. So it is. Is Barney Wade. Hold on. War. And this is Barney Dragon.

666
01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:58,040
Barney is a dinosaur. I think he might be a dragon. Wingless Dragon. He's bald. He has cancer.

667
01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:04,040
Yeah. He doesn't look happy. Yeah. Let's show the listeners. Yeah. Bonnie.

668
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:12,040
Yeah. That's Bonnie. So that's that's kind of a remake of the Barney the Barney on heroin on the

669
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:18,680
hammock. I'm not from capturing his essence. It's there's something. Oh folks if you do want to

670
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:25,880
know the real reason. Yeah they can see it. You can put it down now. Okay. Folks. Sorry.

671
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:31,720
If you want to know the real reason behind why our logo is Barney on a hammock

672
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:35,000
patreon.com slash bad comedy. We talk about it right there.

673
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:44,280
And we'll see we'll see you next time. Jason better buy his five cameras or I guess he's got to go.

674
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:50,600
Yeah. Hope the plane makes it. Yeah. To the towers. Yeah. Wait. No I'm going to cut that.

675
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:59,240
What I'm going to cut that out. Yeah. Jason's on airplane now. Yeah. Do you think I think it's

676
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:04,040
a land plane for now. Is there a is there a weight limit on airplanes. Yeah. We got away

677
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:09,640
for Jason to get off. Maybe they'll have to put him in the put him in the under the underbelly

678
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:15,080
of the plane. Well they call it a plane. It's a it's a bus. You just tell me a gig. I know.

679
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:20,520
Yeah. You went from Italian to gay to gay Puerto Rican. Yeah.

680
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:24,280
All right folks. The brown. We love you all.

681
01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:31,080
Live show. Most important thing. Happy holidays. Sorry. Merry Christmas. What am I saying. Yeah.

682
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:37,640
Happy holidays. If it's Christmas. Yeah. Jeff Christmas. Merry Kwanzaa to Zach O Ryan and we'll

683
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:45,400
catch you folks next time with some beautiful video. Bye.