1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,840 Hey everybody, welcome to Bad Comedy Podcast. My name is Zach O'Ryan. If you're a white 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:15,360 listener, if you are a black listener, I was good. Welcome to the Bad Comedy Podcast 3 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:24,280 fam. My name is Zach O'Ryan and I hear with my boy was good. My name is Magic Thumbs. 4 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,880 Kyle Allen. Oh, I'm dressed up as Kyle Allen. Are you Zach? Oh, I thought we were doing 5 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:33,960 Kyle Allen. Oh, no, I'm Zach O'Ryan. Okay, well, I got the biggest hack award taken 6 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:40,680 down. Oh, you poor guy. Yeah. Or wait a minute, you great guy. Yeah, whatever you need. I 7 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:45,040 deleted everything. So I'm good. Whatever you need to hear. I mean, I deleted everything. 8 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:50,560 So I'm good. Yeah, you're good with it. I'm all good. Who's this guy? I don't know. He 9 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:57,440 looks scared. I'm scared of him. I'll be scared. Scary. As the black say, you're scary. Spice 10 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:05,080 pack three box odd numbers. Yeah, it's kind of like West side is kind of looks like a 11 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:14,560 three. So, oh, wow. 20 BB gun was guys 24. That's not a BB guys friends and family. This 12 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:20,800 guy and this guy made me terrified for my life. What is it? Should I call the cops? 13 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,800 What are you holding? Should I call the cops or have him drown in his teeth? Are you talking 14 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:29,200 to that? There's no change here. Are you talking to that BB gun? This is my gun. This is a 15 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:33,600 real gun. That's a real gun, but I'm no cap. I was like, it's made of plan. I'm Zach. I'm 16 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:38,920 scared of guns. That's a gun from the Christmas story. No, actually, probably. Yeah, but you 17 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,760 know what happens in that story? They shoot. They shoot his eyes. Shoot his eye. You shoot 18 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,360 your eye out, pal. Yeah, it's like to lose an eye. That's why I always miss that whole 19 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,440 movie is based on him. Shoot his eye out. Why don't you just give him safety glasses? Give 20 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:58,520 him some oval. It's when I could defeat a movie in one sentence. Yeah, like how I defeated 21 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:03,320 heavyweights and dodgeball kind of that is a great movie. Every time I see a ginger, I 22 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:09,760 think of the bully from from what was it called again? San la I think a San la. That shit 23 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:16,680 was filmed in a Hammond Indiana. Yo, I'm dealing with Hampton Indiana shit. Dylan, you're 24 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:22,600 in our frame a little bit. You need to get a refrain, but how my frame I can move it 25 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:28,840 a tiny bit, but move it that way. I feel like I've been framed. Who framed Roger Rabbit? 26 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:33,680 Who framed Dylan Rabbit? That's a good movie frame Dylan. Actually, I was wearing these 27 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:38,240 sunglasses or we had I had them at power hour a couple of weeks ago and then you know, everyone's 28 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:43,800 like all the Morpheus glasses, but Zach Albers interpret them as the glasses that the villain 29 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:49,480 in who framed Roger Rabbit was wearing. You remember he takes off his glasses and then 30 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:55,000 his eyes pop out? Well, no, I don't remember. You don't remember? No, I don't remember. 31 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,600 I don't know what to do here. Because Dylan's in your frame down here. What to do? What 32 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:04,880 to do? I mean, I can just lean back. I usually end up leaning back. Yeah, just lean back. 33 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:11,280 Yeah, then the bigger my double chin grows. I want to be a class. This right here should 34 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,760 be a clip, dude. Yeah, well, this is how you keep yours around this stuff like this. You're 35 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:21,120 moving the camera around. What side? Where we? Well, guys, so that's OBS, the program 36 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:25,600 we're using this kind of tutorial on how to use it. And we like to in each episode do 37 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,640 a little thing. So that's how you move the different screens. I'm going to have to do 38 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:34,040 a little adjustment. It's kind of some behind the scenes stuff. Yeah. So if you guys want 39 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:39,160 to start a podcast, I mean, we're here to help you out. And we can give you the tools 40 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:45,880 to be at your own boss. And we might even swap Patreon subscriptions with you if you 41 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:52,560 charge more than us. Yeah, that's our only if the bad deal money. Yeah, it's gotta be 42 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:58,680 a bad deal. I love losing money because that means I'm having a good life. Yeah, I'm blowing 43 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:02,920 the money on cool shit money. Yeah, money is the root of all evil. Exactly. Yeah, I 44 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,000 mean, Lobo didn't sponsor by us, which makes us look like like we're like we're badass 45 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:13,560 is yeah, no, but we sponsor them for more money. No, I mean, which makes them with 46 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,760 their sponsored by us, dude. We're not even sponsored by them. They unsubscribed. No, 47 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:23,600 this did they they're not. Yeah, but since we since we pay more of their sponsored by 48 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:30,520 us, we're not sponsored by them. So we sponsor that. So we're the big company. Yeah. Yeah. 49 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:34,360 Sometimes you can help people out of cell Connor McGregor, his opponent, he gave to 50 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:40,200 his opponent's charity as an insult. Psychological. Exactly. That's a psychological trick. I have 51 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:45,720 so much money I can even help you out. Those poor sick kids. Yeah, getting played like 52 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:51,080 that. Exactly. They're pawns. Yeah, why bring kids into it? Why bring why hurt the sick kids 53 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:56,200 feelings? Yeah, no, they don't want no Connor McGregor money. No, leave the kids out of 54 00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:00,480 money. Yeah, keep them keep the money next time, Connor McGregor, because that's just 55 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:04,840 that's taking advantage of kids and they don't learn how the value of a dollar, which some 56 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:10,960 very important or learn from a young age, you want to know how can I buy a house someday? 57 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:17,680 You can't. So speaking of broken a kid, speaking of actually, this is a thing for Patreon. 58 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:22,880 I want to monetize your mind. This is not for Patreon. You know, I feel like it's probably 59 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,440 money dollars. It's not what it used to be. Huh? The almighty dollars, not what used to 60 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:31,040 be. It's true. Fuckers used to ask you for a dollar nowadays. The fuckers went ask for 61 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:40,280 three. He has inflation and the chitchat chopper Devon, the dude song really. I was referencing 62 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:44,920 a little way. Numbers do we want the whole song is called the almighty dollar and he 63 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,400 just talks about how expensive everything is. It's talks about it. Yeah, he doesn't 64 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:53,960 understand inflation. Well, he does. He understands that he just hates it. Yeah, you want to do 65 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:59,160 a reading from the book of Wayne? I'm a Millie. We don't have the book of Wayne. You could 66 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:05,040 do a reading from the book of Devon, the dude. Devon, the cushions, Michael. Yeah, that's 67 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:11,520 a good one. Honestly, I was thinking about the big Lebowski earlier. I'll see you. Because 68 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:16,000 of how Jason looks, but it's not even like was Kyle Allen. That was probably because 69 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:22,080 you're probably looking at me and you'll have the music robe. And it was like the big, 70 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:29,560 the big fat guy. Yeah. But dude is pretty cool. Dana is cutting off the circulation 71 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:35,400 to my brain. I know you have an excuse for your brain. Maybe your brain is my brain 72 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:40,680 is failing legit. It just fell you to thrive. Shout out to Jason's joke about you pour 73 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:46,040 alcohol on your brain and make it stop growing. Yeah, my brain like that concept. My brain's 74 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:53,120 got SIDS. Yeah. Sid from Toy Story. Yeah. I drove down a bumpy street. Now my brain's 75 00:06:53,120 --> 00:07:00,640 got SIDS. I do like toy story. I feel like my chin. There's a circle here and I don't 76 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:04,840 know what that is on Buzz Lightyear's chin. Is that a little hair? Is that a dimple? It's 77 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:11,280 a butt chin. He has a little swirl. It's a butt. It's a butt chin. I got a butt chin 78 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:15,800 as well under my beard. Do you really? Yeah. It's kind of sucks because I get poop all in 79 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:20,280 my beard. Oh man. If you ever shave your beard dude, it's so fucking gross. I wouldn't even 80 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:25,280 hang out with you. I might shave it if I ever do this project. I will never do it. I might 81 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:29,840 shave it and actually shave my head. Some of my bold as well. If you do that, you're 82 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:37,000 banned from the black acids. I want to do a thing called Frasier 2. Oh yeah. So I would 83 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:41,440 be, I would play Frasier. No, did you see that? I would get my hair cut like Frasier. 84 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:46,080 I was going to send you. You know like balding and then no beard. Did you see they brought 85 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:51,440 Frasier back? They brought it back. They're doing a remake. I know. I was kind of disappointed 86 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:56,280 because I've had this idea for years and have not acted on it. Yeah, you should do Frasier 87 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,440 2. You probably should have acted on it. But also maybe I should act on it now because they're 88 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,440 remaking it. Maybe when does it come out? Do you know? I don't know. But that's a good 89 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:09,120 thing to do. Like I thought of Frasier 2 first. No, you're a, you're a, that's a Dan 90 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:15,000 joke. Steelmouth move. Yeah. What is it? Me or you? That's interesting. Trying, trying 91 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,600 right on the back of a, yeah, the other one, you know, who taught 20 years and then do it. 92 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:25,600 You know, talk Frasier into doing it again was Tim Allen who stole your pansexual job. 93 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:29,360 So this guy's a thief. Tim Allen, I should have some idea for a home improvement. Yeah. 94 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:35,560 That's my idea. Well, my idea was a show. No, mine is doing a home. Where is dad also 95 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:39,960 has a TV show where he's listeners on YouTube. I love doing home improvement. I thought they 96 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:46,400 were doing a joke. I said, how about an HGTV show inside of a show about a dad? So he's 97 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:51,200 a dad. He's kind of a relatable average guy. Shark Tank was shit. Not my head then, but 98 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:56,320 look what happened. I went to, I went to Best Buy and I wanted to get this. So this is a 99 00:08:56,320 --> 00:09:01,600 HGTV and this is back when that was the newest, hottest thing. And then I have a bought it. 100 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:06,000 I was super excited. I brought it home, turned out the whole time. It was just an HGTV. It 101 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:12,800 only had that channel on it. And it was in like 10, 80. It wasn't even in HD. 102 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,320 You got robbed. Yeah. You know, they went lemburi. They said no returns. I was like, 103 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,680 I'm not going to need to return this cool. You got Tyler Perry. Yeah. I suck at gardening. 104 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:28,200 You know that I'm so bad at gardening. I literally have a red thumb. I bet that sticks out. What 105 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:35,520 though? What the hell? You're like, Mr. Hands. Call me to magic thumbs. He touches now because 106 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:40,480 I never handed a girl, but I have thumbed her. Yeah. He's been thumbing women. I quit 107 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:47,200 fingering years ago. That's baby stuff. It's about I, Freddie, I fingered Freddie. Fingering 108 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,840 is for babies. I think you're Freddie and it's like him of that movie. Fingering is 109 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:58,040 for victims. My left hand, my left thumb will be a good movie. Maybe my left thumb. You 110 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:04,640 just lose circulation. It's still fine to make it work. It's still pretty hard thumb. 111 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:11,080 So I'm just a thumb. So I'm trying out. So what? Sorry that I stole your whole bandana 112 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:18,240 look. I'm actually a cow. And I'm just dressed up as them. Yeah. Sorry I tricked you. I'm 113 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:25,360 Zach O'Ryan, but I'm talking to a white person. I'm three. Oh, it was good. Three. It's good. 114 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:30,240 But a lot of these whiteies, they be calling me three pack. Yeah. Well, since you got a 115 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:36,360 few ideas, would you order something and then you got three smaller versions and it's somebody 116 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:42,200 packed. So we drank half of your sodas. Yep. I went to Wendy's, you know, and I know you're 117 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:48,120 three pack. There's a combo. I saw the for a combo meal. And I thought this is like a, 118 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:54,120 I thought about is it combos like the snack? Yeah. No, that's really good. I've actually 119 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:59,800 had the same thing happen to me. We could split a six pack. Well, it just reminded me 120 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:05,320 of the food combos. I didn't like it was actually combo. I thought it actually was. It's kind 121 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:10,200 of stupid. Why would they have? No, I don't know. So it's McDonald's since it didn't have 122 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:14,840 combos. I remember that. So this is a combo on the meal thing too. And then this is a 123 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:19,480 lie. They call them value meals. No, and they gave me, no, they gave me value. They gave 124 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:24,320 me combos. Snoop says this is containing false information. Oh, where are you looking at 125 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:31,640 Snopes? Whenever I think someone's lying, I look it up. I have a tell a Snoop. You want 126 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:36,200 camera? Snopes from far away. You want camera now, Jason? You can go. I'm your boy. I have 127 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:41,000 a tell a Snoop. He can spot a lie from a mile away, Jason. Jason. I've been doesn't even 128 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,360 have to hear the people. You can see my thumbs light up. You think I've been working on this 129 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,360 in the background, Jason? I don't realize my thumb lights up. It's like his Pinocchio. 130 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,320 You think I have been working on this in the background, Jason? I've been on the phone 131 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,920 with my lawyer since eight a.m. My thumb is going because I've been on the phone with 132 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:59,160 my lawyer since eight a.m. Oh, really? Knowing to prove that you're lying. Wow. You're lying 133 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:03,000 so hard right now. My thumbs turned red. Yeah, I did. My thumbs turned red when people lie. 134 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Yeah, it's like really embarrassing for him. It's one of my powers. It seems more like a 135 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,160 defect. I also could tell the future. They're always like, why is he always clenching his 136 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:18,280 fists? He's hiding his thumb. Yeah, it's actually his thumbs are throbbing because 137 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:25,320 the diabetes he's in his hands. Well, I think while his thumbs didn't light up. So 138 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,560 that must be true. He already got both of his legs amputated. Hold on a second. That was a lie. 139 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:37,400 Yeah, he's got his. Well, you sent me that video. I'd never watched it. Oh, lie. What was it? 140 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:42,600 He did watch it. No, hold on. Or you didn't send it. That was definitely a lie. Let me see. 141 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,320 You guys just talk in the meantime. Wait, what are you doing? I think I know nothing. 142 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:53,560 You're going to ruin this. I hate when you do this. It's going to break. We're going to lose the 143 00:12:53,560 --> 00:13:00,120 audio. No, it's just every time you touch the computer while we're recording, it fucks it up. 144 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:07,000 Sorry, YouTube said Jason. This is a situation. This is yeah, we got a situation here. Jason's 145 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:14,280 a little bit of an intervention potentially. I got a situation. Jason's not going to like this bit, 146 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:19,320 folks. You guys watching? I tried to talk him out of it, but he's, you know, Mack, I don't like 147 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,320 him touching the computer because it's going to ruin the episode. And then it's not. I'll make sure 148 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:32,040 that we'll make sure. Let's just say this is related to Norm. And this could be a really big 149 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:37,080 yes. I have to pee kind of. I ruined your career. Jason, I have to walk out of the 150 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:43,160 you might be. Let's wheel him out of here, folks. He doesn't have legs or what to ruin your whole 151 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:48,360 career. Dude, I tried to sign up for these stupid apps that give you free bullshit that nobody 152 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:54,280 wants that you're into Mac. And now they won't stop emailing me. You just don't subscribe. And 153 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:58,680 there's like nothing I could do. You hit unsubscribe. Yeah, I hit unsubscribe. Then it goes to like a 154 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:02,760 fucked up like state of a website where you can't unsubscribe. You went to one of those 155 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:09,720 bunk ones. No, it's the ones you sent me. Which one? Influenster and all that crap. Now, the best 156 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:14,120 one is we sponsored. Use that one. I'm not using none of those things because I don't want you a 157 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:20,280 bunch of free garbage that sucks. You don't need it like an electric guitar. I want like a but I 158 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:24,600 have a sweet electric guitar already. They're probably companies that just get rid of some 159 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:29,640 inventory that's not selling. Look at me, dude. The fact that you don't have an electric guitar 160 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:34,200 is because you're gay and I'm awesome. I have one because I'm awesome. You don't have one. 161 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:41,320 Mac has one. You need a chalk powder. What's the video to you? I think it's like called like 162 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:49,960 Norm MacDonald, like big fat guy. Oh, no. I know I said this one. I know he does. It wasn't about 163 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:55,400 you, but then it seemed very eerily similar. I was just watching it and I just enjoying it being 164 00:14:55,400 --> 00:15:01,480 bullied by you guys calling me fat. And the only way for me to Jason demonstrate how stupid you 165 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:06,760 were is to outmaneuver you at being a fat joke teller. Do you think people had an intervention 166 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:11,800 like half of them want to do it and the other half don't? That's what people are sitting around the 167 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:16,360 intervention. Alright, so I'm going to lower our volume and then I'm going to turn this video on. 168 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:23,240 What's the rule? What are you playing Jackie Cleese? I can't wait for this to get taken down for 169 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,840 copyright. It's not a particular movie. I just think they need all of you to be fat guys. 170 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:33,640 That's going to be the way you are. You're paying us forward. Hey listen, if you know it's my enormous 171 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:42,520 weight game, I'm putting the bad back in bad comedy. You know why I started the game? I'm up 45 172 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:49,240 pounds and it was for a role in a movie. That's right it was. What was the rule for? Alright guys, 173 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,640 it wasn't a particular rule but I figured the hell is needed. Did these jokes sound familiar at all? 174 00:15:53,640 --> 00:16:00,440 Turns out they don't. They have plenty of fat guys that are much more experienced at acting and 175 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:07,080 at being a fat guy than I am. You were doing a bit where you're like a Jimmy Lewis? Jimmy 176 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:12,920 Klick character. Yeah, I'm fat. What happened? Fried chicken and gravy. Let me tell you something. 177 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,280 I thought it was funny. Your heart could. I thought gaining a lot of weight would be funny. 178 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:26,200 Oh, and also taking down. So that wasn't even the video. It was the video. It was the exact video. 179 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,760 There were a handful of jokes where he says because of a big fat guy right afterwards, 180 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:35,560 like you do in heavier standard jokes now. Yeah, no, I started saying because I'm a big fat guy 181 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:41,480 because junior told me to do it at an open mic. Wow. So junior. So really junior stole it. Yeah. 182 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,200 I don't know. You see never like to watch. He seems like he would like 183 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:52,040 norm. Junior. I definitely watched norm before. Yeah. So we think you're the second half of the 184 00:16:52,040 --> 00:17:00,360 video. I watched him on dirty work. But being a big fat guy is not the movie. That's not the 185 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:06,680 quite skinny. He was a really skinny guy. So you know, in the second half of the video. Yeah, 186 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:11,720 he wasn't big and fat. He was a skinny guy. There was a Donald. It's very skinny. Yeah, 187 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:17,880 notoriously skinny. He came back from one of his podcast seasons in the next season. He was talking 188 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:23,000 about how did you notice I gained 45 pounds? He's trying some cancer medication. Yeah, I was 189 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:28,920 thinking like if he knew he had cancer, so he's like, fuck it. Yeah. That's what happened. But 190 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:34,120 Jason, the second everyone in the second half of the video, he does this joke about how he needs 191 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:40,280 a bunch of cows to get a leather jacket. No, he has a joke that he needs multiple cameras to take 192 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:44,280 a picture with somebody. You wrote the leather jacket one and Dylan wrote the camera one. 193 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,800 Okay. So you guys stole it from that. So 194 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:53,560 well actually wasn't on there. Thanks for admitting that we're giving us joke credit. 195 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:59,800 So Mack, it was open. I've seen that clip before. Go check it out. It's on there. It's not on there. 196 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,920 You can trust me. Listen, you've seen it before. Yeah, I've seen it before. So you saw the whole 197 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:07,160 like, haven't you noticed that I stopped doing those jokes? 198 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:14,440 So since you guys wrote them and then I saw the clip, which is clearly older than our podcast, 199 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:20,520 that's funny though. That was Max trap was like, get you to say that you've seen the clip. Yeah, 200 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:25,560 but you have seen it. Yeah. And then I realized you guys give me those jokes. You had stolen them 201 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,880 from that clip. No, he had so I stopped doing those jokes. It's parallel thinking with Norm. 202 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:36,760 Yeah. One of the greatest stand ups ever. So I think saying you're a big fat guy, 203 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:41,160 you're an excellent liar. I'm not lying. You can look up all the clips. Go ahead. 204 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,080 I'll put the clips in the description folks. 205 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,800 People could never steal jokes because they can't drive and 206 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,680 they're a pair. They've never parallel thinking they're only they suck at parallel parking. 207 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,920 That getaway driver crash. I was I almost had one. 208 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:06,680 One of the guys who was like, I'm a big fat lady. That's pretty good. I'm a big family. 209 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:12,040 Big fat wife. Fuck junior. I was gonna make another joke. I mean, yeah, I mean pretty much. I just 210 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:17,720 have a lot of people right for me because so many people idolize me. I don't know. They give me 211 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:22,600 lots of material for free. Maybe like and I don't even like it. I just use it to make them happy. 212 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:29,480 Maybe like two open micers idolize you. Yeah, maybe maybe one of them even them. I'm like one of 213 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:38,440 their favorites and they idolize a lot of people. I just I get everyone to love me. Yeah, I think 214 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,120 I need to do a Brandon Kiefer and just quit for a year and a half and then maybe come back. Did he 215 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:47,880 do that? He did like quit for a while. You already did that. Why did he why took COVID off? But I 216 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:54,440 think a lot of people you took time off to become a coder. But that's not I was I literally when I 217 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:59,400 started becoming a coder out it was I was in coding school and then COVID happened. Oh, you 218 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:05,240 code switched. Yeah, I COVID switched. I feel like I do need to take time off just so I focus on 219 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:12,920 getting a real job. They say get a haircut and get a real job. And I don't have a 220 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:19,640 were you hanging out with the day laborers. Yeah, trying to get a job. I was just trying to make 221 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:25,720 friends. Read in front of a home V Po now is in front of Jewel. And then I realized these Mexican 222 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:32,120 guys are staying here every day. Why? Why Jewel? Yeah, that should get a job. So you start to 223 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:38,280 stand up because you got used to standing like a day laborer. Yeah, it just doesn't pay the bills. 224 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:44,520 I was just standing up with just you do you stand up. Oh, that's really good. 225 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:51,320 You stood that gun up. Yeah, it's not it's for sure going to fall. Something is 226 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:57,560 going to shoot your own loaded. I could look. Yeah, let's load it. I mean, I just got to pump it. 227 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,480 So I feel like I thought we should I want to get next episode. I want to get the bandanas from 228 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:08,600 Dear Hunter for us to wear. Well, I mean, you know, she's just did he mile red bandanas. 229 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:14,360 There I think they're white with like a red circle in the Christmas story. What I mean, 230 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,560 people don't know that he takes that gun to school and he shoots 231 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:25,160 shoots up to this. He was a in so he shoots a lot of eyes out that kid. He was pissed about the 232 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:32,760 you with the oval teen. He was fucking. Yeah. So he shot his glass of oval teen. Yeah, 233 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:38,440 but I was one of those lamps. We should go on those leg shade lamps. Yeah. Yeah, 234 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:42,920 the fish net. There's a there's a restaurant. I went to the head one of those leg 235 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:48,360 shaped lamps. That was good. And I don't know if you guys knew this. I was just looking at some 236 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:53,320 of the stuff I watched as a kid Alvin and the chipmunks. So Alvin's wearing a red hat. 237 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:59,880 Not everybody knows this. It was a mega hat. The whole time. Dang. Yeah. Remember when 238 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:11,080 when Ralphie says fuck. It was that in in Christmas or Christmas story. He says that. 239 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:15,400 Yeah. He says like fuck. He says fudge the movie, but he says fuck. And he has to put soap in his 240 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:20,280 mouth. Oh yeah. I remember that. Back then I was like the soap actually was pretty good. 241 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,880 Dude, you're totally right. They're just red bandanas. I thought it was a fucking. I don't 242 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:29,720 know what I'm thinking of beer hunter. Probably beer hunter. I remember I stopped cussing for 243 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:34,040 probably a decade when I saw that movie and I thought I don't want soap in my mouth. I didn't 244 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,960 stop cussing, but I stopped cursing. I stopped doing witchcraft to put in curses on people. 245 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:44,600 Jason never stopped. I never stopped. You do have like a voodoo, voodoo kit and some witchcraft. 246 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:50,440 Yeah. I mean, I'll do anything to take down my ops. Me and Nura went to a witchcraft store the 247 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,840 other night because we were killing some time. There's like a witchcraft store in her neighborhood 248 00:22:54,840 --> 00:23:00,360 and the guy hated that shit. She doesn't want me to do black magic. She's okay with white magic. 249 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:05,560 Oh, interesting. Kind of racist. You mean like she's like she's not okay with voodoo. Yeah, no 250 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:11,240 voodoo. She wants to be straight. I was I was trying to do a shrunken skull, but she's okay with 251 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,720 you trying to shrink somebody's skull. She's okay with the magic doing like Saruman stuff. 252 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:20,760 Like sending orcs on people make a rabbit disappear. And so I feel like that's animal cruelty. 253 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:25,320 I've actually applied several shrunken skull curses to Kevin Kellerman. I just can't get that 254 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:31,880 thing down. No, I feel like you need like a Adam Gilbert skull or something. I feel like 255 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:41,160 like his is already shrunken. I feel exactly. Ryan is like a little habit and I'm Saruman and 256 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:46,840 I can just summon like hundreds of thousands of orca. Yeah. So what you're talking about is 257 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:51,240 all your friends in jail. You have a lot of to get them out of jail first dude. 258 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:57,640 He's making an orcs joke about go back to talking about voodoo and say it. Yeah, all my friends 259 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:05,480 are in jail. Do is a great song by God smack, I believe. God smack. God's God's smack Jason in 260 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:10,840 the face where he fell on his head wearing God's favorite shirt. Do you know that's where a Chucky 261 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:18,280 came from voodoo Chucky Chucky's voodoo. Oh, really? Child's play. Oh yeah. Jennifer. I don't 262 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:24,600 watch that type of a party. Chucky. No. No. Chucky was terrified. It's not about it's not about 263 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:29,800 it's not porn. It's about a doll. There reminds me of there is a good concept of a doll be a 264 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:37,400 murderer. Like honestly for a horror movie for a kid. This guy. So we went to this stupid 265 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,960 witchcraft store and the guy was behind the counter. He was wearing like full satanic gear 266 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:47,080 like all black and like a pentagram necklace and like his fingernails were painted. Yeah, 267 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:54,040 his finger is painted like Nick Kuntzman and and you didn't crow work. He's talking to his 268 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,240 friend the whole time and they're just like talking about like people they know it's kind 269 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,000 of like they were doing like our podcast. They're like she was so annoying when she came to the 270 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,040 party. Just like Satanist these two guys. Oh wow. And we're there. It's like closing. It's about 271 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:13,800 to close and I end up buying a book. What is it? They were talking. All right. What's this? What's 272 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:22,680 the suburb like like Elmer's like Elmer's or something like so the guys like the author of 273 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:28,520 the book was named like David Elmer's. I'm forgetting the actual name but it legit legitimately 274 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:33,560 this happened. The guy's name was like David Elmer's and then they was like yeah yeah so we 275 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:39,400 were over in Elmer's and I go I don't know about Elmer's but I like David Elmer's books. 276 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:44,920 Could I buy this please? Wow and the guy got like he just didn't make any reaction at all. He 277 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,280 looked like super pissed. Yeah, it's probably annoying because I'm buying something from his 278 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:53,240 store that should be just failing. You said that when you were I didn't say that. No yeah. So anyway 279 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,240 we're checking out and I'm like trying to win him over for some reason or make neuro laugh or 280 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:01,880 something. Nerd is high as shit by the way. She's like I can handle this. I've been making her laugh 281 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:06,280 the whole time I'm in there so I feel kind of like up you know like I'm crushing but then I get to 282 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:12,520 this guy and he hates me and then I go nerd or then I go so what do you think is like the thing 283 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:19,160 in here you seem to most was like the most powerful. That's the clerk that and he just seemed like 284 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:27,480 pissed and he just like wanted to answer me and he's like we do like a Ouija night. I think the 285 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:32,440 reason he didn't like you much. Well first of all, is that home her joke. No, no, no, it's because 286 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,840 it's because you were in there with her laughing at what he actually believes in probably. No, 287 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:45,960 I didn't know what we were up to and also and also you what else. Oh, and he's not supposed to be 288 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:50,120 like a nice customer service guy to witchcraft stories. They didn't have enough. No, it was 289 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:55,960 like all good stuff. There was no evil spell casting stuff. So it really was evil in a witch 290 00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:01,560 store. I want to control demons. Well, they only had charms. Yeah, it was all like stupid healing 291 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:09,080 spell. Get good luck with money kind of shit. Wow. Move a curse. They was like remove a curse, 292 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:14,920 but there wasn't at a curse. It's all self defense. Yeah, it was bullshit. So remember how you said 293 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:21,000 when you worked with Jeff Asmas, you had that hard little pocket hard drive. They said PC on it. 294 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:27,480 Yes, or CP on it. Sorry. Yeah. Not to be confused with Jeff Asma, who had a little thing that was 295 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:34,600 an inhaler. Yeah. CP is I was actually at a show I was opening for Jeff Asmas and we were in the 296 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:41,560 green room. Dude, that's a good gig. And then it's he had a hard drive in his hand and it's 297 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:49,160 it it's a child. I call a C child on it. Oh, so it's something else after that. Well, yeah, 298 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,880 I was like, what's that in your hand? He's like, Oh, it's you know, the movie Child's Play. 299 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:58,360 Maybe he was whacking off to the movie. No, I know. He's like, I'm a big horror movie fan. 300 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:05,000 And then he he accidentally fell out of his pocket when he went up to go on stage. Yeah. So he 301 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:09,640 out in the green room. Or I was back in the green room after my setup, of course. And careful to 302 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:15,480 say the word will gain trouble. No, no, it's had children playing. Oh, maybe it's like slow 303 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:19,480 children playing. Maybe it was about. Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of weird. Safe when you're 304 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:24,840 driving in certain neighborhoods. But the fact that he lied to me makes me a little suspicious. 305 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:30,440 I would be a little sus. Yeah. Let's I call it. Yeah, that guy's a little untrustworthy. Jeff 306 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:36,600 Asmas, not Jeff as mom. Yeah, not. We're not talking about the standup comedian who's always 307 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:42,840 out of breath. Jeff Asma. We're talking about Jeff as miss. Jeff has the podcast with Alex 308 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:49,240 Dragunov. Miss Jeff Asma is not full of hot air. In fact, he's full of very little air. Yeah, 309 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:55,640 barely breathe. Jeff Asma. His jokes are breathtaking, though. Jeff Chris. Yeah, 310 00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:03,000 Jeff Asmas could make Jeff Asma die. Can make him go taking away his last breath. I don't do 311 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:08,920 a juggler episode. So at some point, we'll do a juggler one. He knows a real clown, Alex Dragovic. 312 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:13,320 I saw he was going to be at Zany soon. I'm really pumped about it. Yeah, I'm so excited. He's so 313 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,560 good. I want to hear about it. Just instead of a juggler episode, just a jug episode. 314 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:25,320 It's just we have where we start a band where we all play the jug. Yeah, we get ladies with 315 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:30,280 giant tits. I love Alex Dragovic's reels. Just talking about like normal stuff. Go back to that. 316 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:34,520 It's fun. Do you guys like Alex Dragovic's reels where he just talks about like normal stuff 317 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:39,320 into the little microphone and his headphones? I'd like to hear his air pods inside of his 318 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:44,280 house, but he's pretending to be poor. I'd like to put down and I would like to see a few less 319 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:52,440 reels in the phone and a few more reels in the boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's going to fishing for 320 00:29:52,440 --> 00:30:00,360 minors. Epstein folks. Yeah, I want to see a few less reels and a few more real ass motherfuckers. 321 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,840 Have you seen their taken down all these like famous black people, but they didn't like get 322 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,920 anyone from Epstein shit. The one guy they got killed himself, but now they're going after 323 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,160 Pete Diddy. They're going after really you don't know about Pete Diddy. I don't watch it. Well, 324 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:18,920 I watched the news. He's been he's been losing all his shit. It's in the news. I don't watch 325 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:27,160 you. You watch the other news. I watch MSNBC with Rachel Manco. I watch you have to check out the 326 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:33,560 urban news. I watch Hannity the hand the Hannity project. I heard he did he Spotify wrap somebody. 327 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:38,040 You should have named your company album the Hannity project is the vanity project. Yeah, 328 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:43,080 I could do that. You should rename it or not. Call you call your next one the Hannity project. 329 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:50,680 The Hannity project. That was awesome. Maybe I'll call it the Ted Cruz project. That's good. 330 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:57,640 Ted Cruz, Jr. How about the Allen Parsons project? I like that. Actually, the 331 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,920 can we talk about the band of police? Or again, we can talk about the Allen Parsons project. 332 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:11,640 Great band terrible, terrible crimes against certain races. Yeah, that's true. And then 333 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:16,680 fucked up that that band did all that stuff. But that band, the police were cool back then. 334 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:22,600 There's the cool guys walking or swinging around the wooden baton. You know, I was like, I remember 335 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:27,960 I was at the Black Lives Matter parade and I was like, I get it. We'll get we'll get Steely Dan 336 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:33,560 next time. You mean you guys hate the police. You mean dandosimo? Yeah, we'll get Steely Dan 337 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:37,960 next time you guys hate the police. I get it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get sorry we booked the police 338 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:43,480 next time we'll get Steely Dan like biggest like rock like album of all time, but it was a greatest 339 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:49,160 hits that doesn't count. Is that the police police? And it's where they piss me off because they beat 340 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:54,600 Michael Jackson for the most selling album all time, but it's a greatest hits. Well, Michael 341 00:31:54,600 --> 00:32:01,240 Jackson also innocent. Why can't Michael Jackson make a greatest hits and outsell them? I'm a 342 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:08,040 Michael Jackson apologist. I'm an Eric Clapton. I'm an apologist. You are. Yeah, you don't agree 343 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:12,440 with that child abuse. You drop a kid out. I do love his music, though. But all of his good songs 344 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:18,440 are based on his dead kid. So I'm a I'm a Michael Blackson. Apologists. Yeah, I think his accent's 345 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:27,160 real. My Michael Jordan. Apologies. You guys do Michael Blackson. Yeah. He's a comedian. He's 346 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,720 like, yeah, I'm black. His accent's fake. I just learned recently. If you're at a van, Gilbert, 347 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:39,240 that's some tea. You're a little bit of Alex Luchin. Shout out to Alex Luchin and give me a 348 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:43,640 ride a couple of weeks ago. It was really important. How was that? It was good. It just I felt like a 349 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:50,040 a douche because I just kind of you just kind of, you know, give me a ride and I just 350 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:57,400 but you should check it out. Check out brain. You think I could incorporate these thumbs in my 351 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:05,720 standup act? No. Yes. If anyone can do it. I'm getting some differing opinions here. I say two 352 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:10,200 thumbs up. That's a that's more of a key thumbs on. Look at that. Hey, it's more of a keeper, but 353 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:16,360 I think he for is that is key for a prop. He's more of a prop. Yeah, true that we should label 354 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:22,680 people at but guys had brain spot. Oh, FC on Instagram. You got a DM them and they'll get you 355 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:29,400 with the website for some cool stuff. Yeah, let's just say it's pretty cool. Yeah. So that should 356 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:35,320 be enough to make these magic thumbs more magical. Yeah. I want to see if you want me to honestly, 357 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,600 I want to make some content for him and I'll be like, I'll be like, do you have a 358 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,280 do you have a comedian coming after your life? You need to cool out. You need to cool off. 359 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,120 Cooling off. You have a crazy cokehead comedian after you. Do you want to do you want to 360 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:56,680 have some good vibes brain spa? So sometimes you can try and like advertise their services to 361 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:02,440 like make other comedians mad at us. Yes, definitely. We can go after other scenes for sure. 362 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:06,200 We're like hit men. Well, we're already like taking that helping take down Stephen Hofstadter 363 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:11,160 from remotely. No, if there is, if there's anyone that you guys want to, it doesn't even have to 364 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:17,480 be a comic. His grandma's gonna get a Google alert. Oh, no, his grandma's gonna get a Google alert. 365 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:23,080 If you're listening and there's somebody that needs to be a target, let us know. Yeah. And we'll 366 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:28,680 see what we can do because if there's, if these people have an Instagram, we can find some things to 367 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:34,520 hitting on his grandma via Google alerts. Yeah. I've been sending her secret messages. 368 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:42,200 Yeah, guys, I'm pretty good at taking people down. So basically, you don't want to go up against us 369 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:48,120 because back will spend six, seven, eight hours looking on a clip that destroys them. 370 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:53,400 I thought you were gonna say in front of their whole friends and family. That's right. I will 371 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:58,200 make them, I will make them destroy themselves. That's how and I'm gonna take down Kyle Allen. Yeah. 372 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:05,640 So we'll call it character assassination because it's not, we're not trying to be violent here. 373 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:10,120 Yeah, there's a show in Chicago. We should go after all the assassination. It's a row show where 374 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:18,120 people dress up like fictional characters. We should take down Kyle Allen. I don't know if he's a character. 375 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:24,040 We're talking about time that dude deserves it. So Kyle Allen needs so many bad things. He needs to 376 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:32,520 he's worse than him and Tom Chang need to go down and Paul Farvar. Paul Farvar. He deserves. Yeah, 377 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:37,800 he's not the nicest person. We only take down the nicest people on the scene and the biggest 378 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:42,360 douchebags on the scene. Yeah, but you know what? Kyle has like bodies in his trunk. I'm pretty 379 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:47,400 sure. Okay. Yeah. He's a little nuts. Sometimes on stage, he has like two bitches standing behind 380 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:52,360 him like who are they? Huh? And they don't speak English. What? Yeah. That's actually kind of 381 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,840 sick. That's bad ass. Oh, they're like, Dylan, are you projecting because of the duffel bag that 382 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:05,000 you have? He's doing like he's doing like a reverse. My dush bag. Dush. That's a that's a 383 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:12,120 dutch duffel bag. I prefer a ruffle bag. We do need wooden shoes. Yeah, I should probably post 384 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:17,400 the links to that. You're like a ruffle bag. I prefer a ruffle bag. I'm more into chips. I could 385 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:22,600 see it. Guys, we need the we need wooden shoes and beekeeper outfits. So search that and go fund 386 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:29,880 me and please donate. Some people say that we're poking the bear the hotness the what poking the 387 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:35,800 hottest. Yeah. Yeah. Poke in the home. Bobby Buds told me to stop poking the bear, which is 388 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:43,240 coming in the Zachar, Zachar Ryan, I told him, why at first I told him, I'm the bear. Are we 389 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:51,000 the bear? Are we poking the bear or is the horse poking Mr. Hands? I said, I'm the one who knocks. 390 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:59,320 And then I figured out a better analogy, which is no, I'm not poking the bear. The bear poked 391 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:06,040 the hornet's nest. Nice that they thought was a normal bees nest, which would be there. I should 392 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:11,160 murder that they thought it was be hive turned out as a hornet's nest. So they're Africanized 393 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:15,640 honey bees, just like Zachar, right? I think that was Africanized. That's what we are. He's the bear. 394 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,720 We're attacking. He's African. Exactly. But it'll be better when we have like beekeeper 395 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:25,000 outfits will kind of reference it now. We're trying to raise money for how much is it for 396 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:32,040 we have $5. We need about 600 total for both combined. But for probably Mac to start it, 397 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:37,240 I mean, no, no, he was an anonymous donor. They said they're from us. I think it's like the 398 00:37:37,240 --> 00:37:41,480 Vanderbilt or something or something. Or it's probably that stalker. No, it's some old, no, 399 00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:46,680 it's some old rich family for chance. It's some family from Venice, I think or something. I don't 400 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:53,320 know. They're descendants of merchants mob. But it is anonymous and we're trying to raise $600 to 401 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,800 get wooden shoes and beekeeper. Well, we could get it. So if your name was anonymous, you would 402 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:03,960 never get credit for anything. Yeah. What about anonymous said that anonymous? Yeah, terrible. 403 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:08,520 It's like you have like this really good quote. And they're like, they attribute it to anonymous. 404 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:12,280 Is that what you do? That is me. Whatever you do when you're in Hamas, but you try to pretend 405 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:18,200 like you're not you hide your non Hamas. I'm a non. Yeah, you're a non Hamas supporter. 406 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:26,280 Yeah. Nice. So we could use some non Hamas support about an Elinon Hamas. Elinon is when 407 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:33,800 you're a family of alcoholic. You are not. He was a human on him. I'm a Kyle Allen on Hamas. 408 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:42,200 Kyle, Kyle Allen, Alan, on this. Kyle, Kyle, Alan, on this hip hop hip hop autonomous. 409 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:47,560 I actually saw a lame rapper who sounded just like Eminem, but then his thing was like, 410 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:53,240 it started out sounded like hip hop eponymous. And I'm thinking that was a good show. Flight 411 00:38:53,240 --> 00:39:02,200 flight of the Concords. Yeah, maybe 20 years ago. But then he has a pretty cool sponsored 412 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,680 rap song. I thought that was pretty cool sponsor your rap. I found out something kind of mind 413 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:13,720 blowing about that. You know, when Crypt Daddy died, it wasn't like anything health related. 414 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:17,160 It wasn't the smelling salts. He was assassinated. He got shot by the Bloods. 415 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,240 Because he was false. Oh, because he was a Crypt. That's mind blowing. Yeah. 416 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:26,440 You got you on the head. Yeah. His mind literally got blown out of his head. The Bloods called up 417 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:30,840 the fucking other Crypts and they were like, we killed your daddy. Yeah. And then we killed your 418 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:35,160 daddy. Why you kill? They shot him in the head and then your daddy's dead. They thought it was a 419 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:39,160 heart attack for some of my, I don't know why. And then they went to the corner and he's like, 420 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:43,480 no, this is obviously a gunshot. Maybe it was just a typo in the report, like, because he got shot 421 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,840 in the heart and they attacked his heart. So it was an attack. Oh, no, it was an attack. 422 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:53,000 Heart. A heart attack. It's a pretty hard attack. Would you shoot someone? It was a hard R attack. 423 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,840 Yeah. Someone sent me a video. They have like a retarded girl and then she was saying, 424 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:03,400 don't say the R word. Like it hurts my feelings and stuff. I'm like, fuck, now I can't buy just 425 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:07,960 said who taught her the word though. Yeah. Zacho said the R word. It's kind of funny. 426 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:14,200 I mean, it's 2023, dude. Dude, Vic Panty was saying it on stage at comedy bar. Oh my gosh. 427 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:19,320 I'm like, it makes me want to stop saying it. Yeah. It's like depriving me of fun. Yeah, we need 428 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:25,320 to become woke now. No, I know. And then like, I'm so excited. Like, I'm so glad that word's coming 429 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:31,880 back. Like hell yeah. But then I finally I can finally I can more quickly describe to other 430 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:39,960 people what I am. Yeah. Getting in trouble. It does make it easier. No, it's bad for people like us 431 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:45,880 when that's just main mainstream. Yeah, because it lowers our value. Yeah. So now we have to 432 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:51,480 become a counterculture. Now we have become very woke. How about a character is Ed Red Redemption 433 00:40:51,480 --> 00:41:02,360 Towns? Dylan Dylan's Dylan's counterculture Ed Red Dead Redemption Towns. Yeah. And he's like 434 00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:09,480 at Towns as a cowboy basically. And he's like I don't know how to spell the word horse special ed 435 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:15,800 towns. Your counterculture because you're autistic. The great man left counting 436 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:21,800 things. Toothpicks and smelling salts and pretty much Adderall's. Yeah, bean counter 437 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:29,160 results of the earth folks. We start smelling salts. I did. I have to ask mass or Max Rice 438 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:34,120 about the beans. We're trying to get beans from even Steve. Oh, I should have asked him about it 439 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:39,320 because so we can have rice and beans. Yeah, exactly. He's harassing Zach. Zach blocked him 440 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:45,800 which is funny. Zach has me. He really blocks. Yeah. Why? Why? Yeah. I don't know. He's the biggest 441 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:51,000 fan because he was COVID info misinformation. He said that Zach O'ryans is the best joke writer. 442 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,160 Zach O'ryans. He does like him. He said he's a generation. He said in the world, I think. 443 00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,600 Hey, Zach O'ryans. So Zach O'ryans, why are you blocking people? Do you are you like a 444 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:06,120 masochist or something? People's one likes to get like, sounds like he's afraid of Max Rice. I 445 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:12,920 don't know. Zach O, if that is your real name, your little bitch, but it's also true if it's not 446 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:22,200 your real name. So trying to dig us some stuff that had read dead red. Edward Norton town. So 447 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:33,560 it's fight club, but he fights retarded people. And we're yeah. Antivirus. Yeah. Edward Edward 448 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:39,320 Norton town. I feel like I'm getting louder for some reason. Right. It's your fucked up brain. 449 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:46,520 Edward. Yeah. My brain is I've been bleeding a lot from the head. Edward. I got them staples 450 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:55,400 out of my head, dude. Yeah. Pretty sweet. You know, like Hedge Hedge. Yeah. Harry Potter. I know 451 00:42:55,400 --> 00:43:02,600 Mitch Hedge Hedge Hedge. I think. Remember, which is funny that Anthony Jeslnick does your 452 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:09,080 way to Mitch Hedberg now. Earwig. I saw type of bug. I saw online that Ray Wissbrock got 453 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:14,360 tickets to Anthony Jeslnick show and I was like, I guess he needs material. Here's the thing, 454 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:19,640 they call it an earwig, but it does not have a fake hair on its ear. Sometimes I think, 455 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:26,600 what do you guys think about this? Because I'll get people say Mitch Hedberg more often, 456 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:31,000 which is obviously way above my level. But yeah, but then sometimes I think, 457 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:37,480 but I can play the heel more accurately. So I can be an Anthony Jeslnick type. I think you're 458 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:44,440 more like a, I can be, I can be a bat. I can be a mean comic. Anthony and do you think I should go 459 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:49,480 that way? Anthony and bezel. Anthony and bezel. I would describe your comedy. You do like that. 460 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,960 It's mostly like, like mother goose, the types of comedy. Well, it's almost as, 461 00:43:53,960 --> 00:44:01,800 should I be a silly guy or should I be like a real mean? We pause right now. I'm gonna say 462 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:08,360 something kind of profound. I think you should just be yourself. I mean, smelling. 463 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:16,600 I feel like I said something sincere and nobody listened. No, no, no, I totally agree. And I 464 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:21,480 think that being yourself on stage is very important because I mean, what are you going to do? Pretend 465 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:27,320 to like, what's the point of how do I construct it? Actually, I'm just really competitive. And I 466 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:32,760 think if you be yourself, you'll fail. Yeah, I get ahead. You can't trust my, you can't trust 467 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:38,520 my life. I just kind of wanted to, I kind of wanted to talk about comedy a little bit. Okay. 468 00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:45,000 You got to be yourself on stage because I mean, this isn't acting. This is 469 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:52,360 showing everyone who you really are. It's opening up. It's therapy really. Yeah, 470 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:58,120 no, it's really healing activity. And I, that's why I started lighting up my thumbs because I 471 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:03,560 always had this ability, but I do have mental abilities and disabilities. And I thought I 472 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:12,120 wasn't being myself because I wasn't doing it. It's kind of like doing, you're doing magic right 473 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:19,560 now. You're doing magic. I hope somebody's listen audio only. 474 00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:26,360 No idea what's been going on this whole time. I got to be Dylan Mahler and I got to fail 475 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:32,200 because if I bend to conform that's lame. 476 00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:36,520 No, you can do that though. 477 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:42,520 Can you hit that for, yeah, no, I can't do that. Lighting up your thumb. You can do it too if 478 00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:48,680 you look deep inside. And you can do it every child can like a punchline. I think that we do 479 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:52,760 train children to think they can't do that. Yeah, that's the problem. We hold them back. 480 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:57,720 They say when the ships came to America, the Native Americans couldn't see them because they 481 00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:02,760 never conceived of something so giant. That's your feathers. And then they could see the Native 482 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:07,800 Americans. That's your feathers. Yeah. Cause I could never imagine somebody so uncivilized. 483 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:12,680 Yeah. But then yeah, they couldn't see the natives because they, they don't see color 484 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:17,160 because they don't even know it. That'll be a problem. Yeah. Can we please talk about comedy? 485 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:20,920 Let's talk more about comedy. Some I love. Here's a good crowd work joke ready. You go, 486 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:26,920 you know, my friend says she can't see color referring to race. That's crazy. Look at this 487 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:30,760 guy right here. He's black. Yeah, exactly. You don't see him. Look at that guy right there. 488 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:37,480 That's a Puerto Rican guy. That guy, I don't know what he is, but he ain't white. You can see it. 489 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:43,000 You can say stuff like that. Yeah. I mean, I do love crowd work. I mean, I think it's kind of a 490 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:47,480 way to, you don't really need to write jokes. If you can kind of get up there, get the crowd involved. 491 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:53,960 That is the superior skill to. Yeah. And I do. It gets the crowd involved to make kind of a group 492 00:46:53,960 --> 00:47:01,080 thing. And it's all improvised on the spot. Even if you write it ahead of time and kind of 493 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:06,360 anticipate response. Yeah. Yeah. It still looks in the moment. I mean, you ever seen Saurab? 494 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:12,680 He does. It's improvised every time. It's pretty cool. I heard somebody say it's like a crowd work 495 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:19,960 is like a, it's like stand up is like a, like a MMA fight that's been planned and prepared for. 496 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:26,040 Crowd work is like a street fight. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Anything goes. Ending goes. 497 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:31,080 You can ruin their night. I mean, crowd work is messy. It's fast. It's loud. Can bring stuff up. 498 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,360 That's really awkward that they don't even talk about. Yeah. Like if they're dating the person, 499 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:38,040 what? Yeah. Like how long are you, how long are you two? And they're like, uh-oh. It's our first 500 00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:43,000 date. Now we're going to get teased. Yeah. She looked at him. You tease them. My favorite one is 501 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:49,400 if you're a black guy and you talk about the white people. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like 502 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:54,600 white women. There's a lot of white people here. Yeah. Yeah. It's a predominantly white crowd. 503 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,720 You're a black guy. You're feeling a little different. Yeah. Like a little like outcast. 504 00:47:57,720 --> 00:48:02,200 You white people. And it's a funny, it's a funny contrast. And we used to say you people. 505 00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:08,520 They say you white people. They're sort of turning the thing back around on us. Which 506 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:13,560 is totally deserved. I'm glad they're doing that. Yeah. Because it's 2023. And I love how far we've 507 00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:18,040 come. Yeah. Sometimes I think somebody was saying, uh, Tina was actually posting about how 508 00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:24,840 it's unfortunate that people will have all white guy shows. Did you see me commenting on that? 509 00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:29,320 I did. I commented as well. But then today I was just, I was going to say my comment. What was 510 00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:34,440 your comment? Oh yeah. You pointed out that sometimes she doesn't. Yeah. Which I think is fair. 511 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:40,680 Yeah. Like we talked about this. So it was just kind of she booked this all white male lineup that 512 00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:46,120 was awesome. Yeah. And so it was awesome. And it was well, I kind of see myself as beyond race 513 00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:52,280 and gender. Yeah. No, I mean, so there's like these, have you heard about these like comedy 514 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:58,520 award shows? Is this award show going on? And it's, I hate when people add competition to what I 515 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:03,640 think is clearly an art. I know it's an art and you should be producing shows. Yeah. And working 516 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:09,800 hard instead of you can be right and be creating producing instead of shows instead of doing 517 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:13,720 it. You're cheapening what we're doing instead of producing an award show. You should be producing 518 00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:18,360 different shows. You could go to no open mics ever and then just still perform in a monthly 519 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:27,640 show. Yeah. It's cheapening. Yeah. I mean, I mean, if like what, like they don't have many people 520 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:32,120 of color on there. You see, do you see the nominations or do you see the people on the thing? 521 00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:36,600 And they used to say color. And that wasn't okay to say color. I hate it when there's not 522 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:40,600 diversity on a show, but I think we've come a long way and I'm looking forward to the day when 523 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:46,200 people will be like criticizing shows like, Oh, you didn't book a diverse enough species. You know, 524 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,880 all humans on the show. What about you couldn't find a single goldfish. You didn't have a robot. 525 00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:56,440 Yeah. Yeah. No robots. No. You couldn't find a ghost. People are like, why do you say you need 526 00:49:56,440 --> 00:50:02,200 to book colored people and I say people of color. I'm saving a syllable. Thank you. Word economy. 527 00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:07,480 Yeah. But I think it's lazy to just be like, Oh yeah, we need a black person. We need some women 528 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:12,840 on here. I think that's kind of I don't care if you're black or white or purple. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. 529 00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:18,280 I don't. Whatever. Purple. Well, I think that's I think that even if that award show was based on 530 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:23,080 nominations, like where people write in who they want. Yeah, like I think they they should still 531 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:29,560 make it all like the people like the people different. I think they should have like you diverse 532 00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:34,040 best comic and the audience. You know, they say the lineup should be diverse, but also the crowd 533 00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:39,880 should be diverse. Yeah. The crowd is racist. A lot of sexes, but they should have like a best 534 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:45,320 woman comic and a best colored comic. I think would be good. Yeah. I like when comic of color 535 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:51,320 like a purple guy. I'm sorry. What am I? What am I? That's purple. Best purple comic. What am I 536 00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:56,360 best blue man? One of my favorite things like about my favorite types of crowd work is when 537 00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:04,120 like someone like says something like not good during Q and A and you Q and A and you kind of 538 00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:10,200 you destroy them. Oh yeah. Oh, when you like do a show and you like preset up a Q and A afterwards 539 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:14,600 so you could like edit it and make it look like crowd work for the Internet. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes 540 00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:19,400 I think that's my favorite stuff. I think it's Stephen Hofstetter. He learned that. I think 541 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,320 crowd. He invented tricking people on the Internet. One of the first him and Nigerians. 542 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:30,760 Crowd work. How about comic work? Right? How about do your job? So I'll say I'm high. Anyone 543 00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:37,720 else in someone will yell out. I'll say that guy's high. That guy's high. That's how you do it. Or 544 00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:42,920 you say, uh, anyone here like smoke and weed? Oh yeah. That's good. Anybody vote? Anybody 545 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:49,480 here? I think after an election, uh, voted, you know, I'll find the oldest guy there and I'll be 546 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:54,040 like, I bet this guy has sex. Yeah. Everyone's like, Oh my God, old people having sex. Yeah. 547 00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:59,960 We pro Satan. I like to say anything. I like to find the old guy in the crowd and say that guy is old. 548 00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:04,360 You know, yeah, dude. People are like, Oh my God, they're acknowledging his age. 549 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,680 Yeah. That's so funny. Michael Myers. Yeah. It's wrong. It's wrong. My 550 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:14,040 fire is on stage. Yeah. He's on the show waiting the back. But the oldest guy on stage. 551 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,560 It's like when no one says anything and they're just like a few people. 552 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:23,640 Oh yeah. And there's not that many people there. I like to say we're small, but mighty. Yes. That way, 553 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:29,000 uh, small, but that way the crowd feels more together. I miss the days when Trump was in 554 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:33,320 office or someone material, there's so much material that we could use for Trump. Like that 555 00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:38,120 was probably the best comedy era in my opinion. Yeah. Like you could do like a, like a say that 556 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:43,320 you're doing Trump voice and you can bomb and you can go guy and you can see, I call him the 557 00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:47,000 Cheeto man. I didn't even have a, I didn't even say Donald Trump for eight years. I would call him 558 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:53,000 that orange guy. Yeah. He thinks Hillary's a cheetah cheetah. Yeah. That's kind of funny to 559 00:52:53,000 --> 00:53:00,760 I like that. Yeah. But, uh, like, I would be like, who, uh, who's a Democrat? And it does so well. 560 00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:08,840 I like that. Yeah. I'm a Demi guy. Oh, and who got vaccinated? That one used to kill during COVID. 561 00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:14,440 Yeah. I got like my, no, I don't want to do like seeing, I guess I'm killing on stage. 562 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:20,680 But me while COVID is killing in the streets. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Who did Zach O'Ryan kill? 563 00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:25,800 Sorry for killing. Yeah. This is the name of his show. Yeah. Are you sorry even? 564 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:32,840 Is he going to be sorry? It kills me. Uh, so not the Kwanzaa party. That would be funny if you 565 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:39,800 like, if one of the, I can't be on the free episode. I'm about to say something crazy. Yeah. 566 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:44,360 I've had five different ideas that I can't say. Everybody make sure you go to HACOs, 567 00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:49,000 Kwanzaa party at Laugh Factory. We'll go to patreon.com slash bad comedy to hear all the 568 00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:54,120 stuff that we've been trying to say, but can't say. Hi, but that is somebody invented like a 569 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:58,440 horrible thing that killed thousands of people. Like, and we all had to stay home from work for a 570 00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:02,760 few years. Hypothetically, hypothetically, wouldn't be funny. One of the scientists came out and was 571 00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:09,880 like, I'm sorry. Yeah. And that'd be funny if like, one of our main, like the person in charge of 572 00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:15,240 like disease control in our country, like funded it. That would be funny. And they're like, 573 00:54:15,240 --> 00:54:19,880 and then one guy comes out and he's like, I know you guys are upset about that, but seriously, 574 00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:24,200 my bad. Yeah. I hope one day I could earn your forgiveness. Can you imagine fucking up at work 575 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:32,520 so bad that they cancel the Olympics? I spilled it. Yeah. What's an algorithm? Is it just like 576 00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:40,120 is AI like aliens? Is it like aliens on a computer or something? That's a L L. Yeah. 577 00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:46,600 Oh, because why just picture when I picture AI, I just picture like aliens that have really big 578 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:52,440 brains. So they're like really fast. I saw robot. The aliens really big brains are called Brainiens 579 00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:57,640 Brainiens. Oh, nice. This robot the other day seeing itself in the mirror for the first time. 580 00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,640 And it was kind of doing all these facial expressions and whoa, cool. It was scared. 581 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:06,200 It was scared of itself. But then I thought me being as afraid of this thing. 582 00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:12,440 I'm afraid of myself when I look in the mirror, I get afraid of how much weight I'm gaining. 583 00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:18,920 Yeah. Well, that's your doctor said to lay off the cake. But yeah, I use anything about 584 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:26,920 I even you did write that joke. Yeah, I've been awesome. I've been using AI to write all my jokes 585 00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:35,320 recently. And what was the chat? Oh, no, one of my one of my shows is robot came in. I guess 586 00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:42,840 they got a robot body and it was AI. It was the AI. Yeah. And he's wow. Those are my jokes. 587 00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:51,080 So Ford revolutionized the manufacturing industry with interchangeable parts. I'd become a robot 588 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:57,160 if I could my arm breaks. I just get a new arm. That's better. Yeah. So some robots like at a car 589 00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:03,400 factory, a robot is just an arm sometimes. His whole body is an arm also Ford is a factory. 590 00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:10,600 Not so done. Or is not doing great. Finger out of girl. So maybe Ford will invent something 591 00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:15,880 like that again. So maybe maybe invest in Ford. Yeah, or down because they'll probably just fail. 592 00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:20,600 Ford actually killed. How about I invest in the Lord going back to church? I like that. 593 00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:27,400 Ford killed sex when Elon was trying to make the model E but then they had the patent on the model 594 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:34,280 E. So he had to use a three. You mean the house? Well, then it's like they're lined up as model S.E.X.Y. 595 00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:38,920 But then they use model three instead. Oh, that sucks. What you think he should have just grew 596 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:45,960 a parent called it sexy. Whoa. Well, I guess he might as dude. I'm sorry. You can't say. The cars 597 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:51,960 have to be sexual. What's that? Elon Musk's face. He looks different than any other person I ever 598 00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:58,680 seen. I saw him saying people want a black man with pulling their ads. Me. Go fuck yourself. 599 00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,840 He wants a black male to do something to his girl while he watches. I've been getting 600 00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:10,680 it is kind of messed up. I've been getting Elon cock. Nice. I've been getting blackmailed a 601 00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:15,880 lot recently. Yeah, Ben. Yeah. Now I've been going to my mailbox and it's just like B. E. T. 602 00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:26,760 subscriptions. Yeah. Like in like coupons for Bob. I was actually really. Yeah. Bottles of Bob. 603 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:31,880 So like, okay, I can afford on the Mike's. Please stop like mailing me. I was really 604 00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:36,120 outraged recently. I went and saw, you know, like there was outrage when they made the black 605 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:43,800 little mermaid. Yes. The little assist. Maybe there's a black little exorcist and 606 00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:49,560 a Dan called. Sorry. I'll call back. Okay, folks. I was outraged. Thank you. 607 00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,760 All right. You got it. Just make sure it's not the one guy. 608 00:57:57,320 --> 00:58:01,720 I got to grab some water anyway. What do you want to plug Dylan? You don't plug anything. 609 00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:07,000 Yes. For this. I don't want to unplug my mic, but I'll plug at comedy baddie. Are you there? 610 00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,360 Oh, you're coming to get you. You're on bad comedy podcast right now. 611 00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:16,440 Oh, I figured. Who do you hate? Who do you hate? 612 00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:24,680 Please don't say Kyle Allen. Don't say anything. I can't say Kyle Allen. I love that man. 613 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,840 You said he said he said, Kyle Allen, folks. I'll see you guys in a minute. All right. 614 00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:35,080 Make sure you check out our live show and buy tickets at the comedy bar. January 10th. Follow 615 00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:40,920 me at Zach O'Ryan and check out how the hell sorry. Sorry. I got in character too much. Follow 616 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:46,920 me at bad boy of comedy, but mainly by tickets to our live show January 10th at the comedy bar 617 00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:54,680 bad comedy podcast. We got stand up guests. We got stand up guys skit stand up guys and girls 618 00:58:55,640 --> 00:59:00,920 and well, I mean, he's like the stand up guys doesn't like cool like like good. Yeah. Like in 619 00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:09,400 the mile. He's a stand up guy. Yeah. He stands up. Yeah. Stand up for equal. Right. He sits down 620 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:15,000 when he pees. Jason's recording. I have an album on YouTube in 2022 and then I'm trying to make it 621 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:24,520 to 300 views. Check out. Oh, check out. 200 Jews. Ouch. More like 300 billion. That would be a whole 622 00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:33,240 different movie than 300. 300. But tune in to Patreon. Yes. So that's coming. Just make every 623 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:42,120 right in a few catch on the on the different dots. Hey, folks. It's Mac. You may notice that this part 624 00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:56,440 right now is audio only. So long story short. The episode we didn't quite hit the hour mark. 625 00:59:56,440 --> 01:00:05,160 And I made a promise to myself and to all of our lovely fans that I would make every episode 626 01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:19,640 at least full hour. And so this is the extra 30 seconds for that. Thanks for listening. Patreon.com 627 01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:30,360 slash bad comedy for the funny episodes. These ones are bad. So yeah, it's only 399 a month. 628 01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:50,600 That's like a cent per episode. You have like 300 something. So thanks.