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Hey everybody, welcome to the bad comedy podcast. My name is Mac Napper. I'm the main guy and

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I'm here with get possible. Man, you'll say Kyle Lane. Oh, a bar there. Come with me.

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Yeah. Yeah. We have a day of Billy Corgan. Oh, nice. Like from the smashing pill head

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corgan. Yeah, this is this man. We are the smash. Pilkins. I'm smashing pills and snorted.

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I like that. So Dylan, you're pretty late today. Like what half hour, probably. Yes,

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some would say actually, no, actually 1130 start time. You got here about 15 minutes ago. I don't

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know how to read an analog watch, but you're pretty late. Yeah. And so the room wasn't fully set up

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when I got here. So we need your phone to fully set it up. Well, you could have set up. I mean,

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I use my phone when it's not set up. So once you get here, we set them up both. If he's late,

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it sounds big of a deal. You're you're part of the set up. I'm the good cop. So we'll keep going.

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But Dylan, you know, you just got to work with us. You know, we'd be your friends. Yeah, I like

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this guy. This guy seems nice. I mean, you fucking suck. This is a fucking job, dude. You don't

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suck that bad. Do you do you just kind of suck this guy? Do you go to a job and like late every

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day? Yeah, if you have if you had one, I don't have one, but I was late every day pretty much.

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So work. Okay. Listen, Dylan, we're all occasionally. Did you get fired? I'm going

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problem with the podcast and we really care about you and appreciate you here. And yeah. And it's

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one thing with jobs. The time doesn't matter that much with this. It literally matters because then

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our episodes are shorter. We get a pushback guess. And so I've actually our fans have been demanding

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longer episodes. Yeah, especially especially our Dutch fans, the wooden shoes guys. Hell yeah,

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they hate when it's shorter than an hour. But think like Jason like sleeps through work all

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the time. You don't have a real job. Hey, listen, I make I make actually sold three life policies

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this weekend made about 2500 commissions seen your life. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know why you're

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talking shit about my sleeping. I remember when this week on Instagram said like I make more than

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your worth or something like that. Oh yeah, that's my bio. Yeah, I'll teach you how to make more than

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your even worth. That's my bio on Instagram. Thank you. This week I made around 2500. Got a free

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guitar. Got a free $300 Wi Fi accelerator. I got a free 12 pack of Voss water. And again,

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the $2500. So yeah, not a real job. Well, you don't know how play guitar. You already have

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a lot of money. Let's get down to brass tax here. You don't even know how to play guitar.

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I don't. Yeah, what's important. That's how rich I am. I have a guitar. I don't even know how to

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play it. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Lil Wayne did that. Respect. He has a lot. So Dylan, I prepared

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a memo for you. A disciplinary memo delivered to you after the podcast. Lil Wayne is like the

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cool. Lil Wayne is the coolest poser of all time. He owns a skateboarding company and he could barely

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skateboard. Yeah, he's like a whole skate park and I forgot what song it was. But I love the back

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of that song where he talks about like breaking someone's house and killing their whole family.

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And then he plays a guitar at the fucking funeral. He's like, that's when you walk in your house

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and air by the day. Yeah. Do we have any book of Wayne readings? We nothing new. I'm gonna write.

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I'm gonna see if there's any scripture that between the episodes. So you can do a book of Michael

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Kane book of Michael Cooper. Okay. All right. Reading from the book of reading from the book

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of Michael Cooper. Do we got new you could read his the thing the interaction you had with them

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or read the book of Michael Cooper. Why don't you actually read that thing? I can read that.

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I could I could pull it up on my head. Yeah, if you can pull it up or read it. Anyway, so

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so basically if Michael Cooper had a Facebook post where it was like this this guy is making me

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drive to work because he's lonely. My boss because just because he's lonely and he needs to talk to me.

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Middle management sucks and guess what they didn't even have any coffee. Are you crazy?

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How much do you want to read of this is super long. It was almost just like yeah well so so

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basically his long thing was he sent me a super long thing about well I commented first.

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Yeah, I have ADHD and a medic kid I don't I don't really drink coffee though because I also have

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Crohn's like more real disease. Please hide the coffee right there that you're drinking. I don't

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normally drink coffee at sometimes. He messes with me some long thing about how he almost killed

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himself from ADD because he didn't have coffee. Is it for me? Yeah, okay. This guy got 88.

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I don't think it was because he didn't have coffee. ADD is not even disease anymore. It's

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only ADHD. Yeah, he doesn't even know what the fuck he's talking about. He said ADHD. Oh, okay.

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And I was like damn dude you're really he says a super long thing lying and then he talked about

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that every time we're running into each other I'm disrespectful that makes sense.

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True that. And he's like you're minimizing ADHD. I'm like shut up dude. It's the one thing if

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you're talking about like cancer depression but you're just talking about like a attention death.

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It's kind of vague and it kind of who knows what that really is. Yeah, and like 75% of people have it.

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I think like anyone could get that's more what that's more of what I was saying is like it's not

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a like something rare dude. I jokingly said it's a very rare disease that we will share.

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And then I do understand him wanting to KYS though because I mean I would want to KYS. He said I

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was trying to say it was no big deal. I said I'm diagnosed with ADHD. This is in DM now after his

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like eight paragraph essay and I said I'm diagnosed with ADHD to Michael and Crohn's disease heads

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up. You're wildly disrespectful to almost anyone I've heard you have an interaction with. And

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when I when did I say it's no big deal. You're putting words in my mouth. Well he is kind of

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just respectable. Just kind of like a real argument. What was he saying? Well he is kind of

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disrespectful but then he'll apologize. I shouldn't say that. I say that in here. So I said I'll do it

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in his voice. He said I don't think you know me well enough to make a general assessment but I'll

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be happy to hear you out. And I said I can say the exact same thing about you. Tell him to buy the

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patron if you want to see. I didn't pass judgment on your free episode. I didn't pass judgment with

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your interactions with others only with me. But if you feel you've witnessed me actively causing

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other people causing others to feel badly again I'm happy to hear you out. I said I don't know

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if I want to sell you as Pearl if she puts a leash on her neck power or power hour once

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she was visibly and verbally upset. Yeah you say bad shit to people all the time and instantly

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apologize but that doesn't change what you said or make you a good person. Oh man I talk shit and

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bust balls but I don't take myself as seriously as you do. So just remember to apologize. And he

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said you're completely backwards about what you think you heard me say to Pearl. I told you guys

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about that that week when he said that by the way. You ever notice how Southerners they're stupid

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because but they're very grateful because they don't think they think. Yeah he said you get it.

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He said it was another dude. I know you weren't listening. I've been I heard him. He said thank.

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They don't think they think. Yeah they're not they're stupid because they don't think but they're

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grateful. Thank you thank you the Lord. But Michael claims he was another dude that said that's a

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pearl that no one knew and and they were shooed away as they should have been. I hope people want

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to I hope people want a lot me to get away with that kind of behavior. I said I saw this

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a power hour. I wasn't hallucinating outside in the back. He said I saw it too. I was sitting at

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the table dude. Then I I don't know if you're just blocking it from your memory but I remember

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you instantly said I apologize. I do apologize. Then Cooper said you may have overheard a different

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conversation but no I did not ask Pearl details of her sexual preference. I simply wouldn't do that.

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And then he meant say Pearl but he said pair is a dear friend as a matter of fact.

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How dear is she. So clearly not that close with pair. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Ms. Jackson.

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I think he's a Paris fan. I mean yeah. That's my favorite team. I was sitting at this. I was

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in Paris. I was sitting at that table and I made that dude leave. We all moved on. You're just

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mistaken. I'm afraid. Maybe he has multiple personality disorder. I mean when he says I made

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that dude leave he made the dude who said that to Pearl who I think two people made jokes about

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her collar that night and it was earlier than the night when he did. I think I saw both actually

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there's Michael. You're saying the pearl was wearing a necklace. The collar necklace. Is it like a

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pearl. They get dark. Nice. Well technically nice. Nice. A fellas. Let's go. Let's cut to

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let's cut to some. Where the fuck am I. Smokes. You're supposed to high five and Gilbert. That

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said it's whatever dude. Just an example. I thought you're just hooking me up. I said whatever dude.

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It's just an example. I mean you asked. He said like you're trying to hold me accountable for your

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perception of a conversation you weren't in while avoiding accountability for the conversations you

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have been in. I said you're also not. Why is this guy using so many therapy. I said you're not easily

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confusable Michael. He said I don't claim to be. And then I said I skipped the middle. He got all

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his vocab from like fucking feminism magazine. Where we're right. Where do they say he's not a

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comedian. Hold on. There's Michael Cooper and then there's Cooper Michael. Cooper Michael is the bad

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one. Wait no. It's like his alter ego. Yeah. Like split. I just watched a movie split. So his split

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split. I guess. Yeah. That's a movie about air clapping. So here it is. So I said the book was

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worse. Yeah. The book was flatter. Flat stand. That's flat Stanley clipped it really well.

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It's not Stanley. Michael said or I said OK. Well you take yourself too seriously.

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To dude. You might do stand up but aside from the time you're on stage you're not a comedian at all.

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If anything more than a tragedy in comedy. You said that. Or he said. Oh geez. He said I'm

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having trouble understanding the last message there. You're simply saying I'm not funny or saying

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I don't fit in. All I said all I'm saying is relax. I'm not going to say it. Well I'm going to

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have to do my voice in my voice. How come you always get an argument so people who don't use

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normal words. I don't know. All I'm saying is relax. There's ball busting off stage that comes

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to stand up and you can't handle that. And if you can't handle that or throw stones and live in

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the glass house I don't believe you're really a comedian. So you don't find me fun off stage. Is

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that what I'm getting the problem is not fun off stage. That's true. And that's it. On stage.

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Also not fun. Oh by the way I got a message a while back from a guy who you were defending at

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Lottie's when you went off on me yelling into the mic. Richard Holcomb I think he said he wasn't

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upset at me at all. Didn't know why you were freaking out. He was probably having an ADHD attack

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and then I said not only not only not fun the opposite you just complain and get upset if

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anyone says anything that isn't just supporting you. And then said I freaked out at you because

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you were talking through my set. That's why I yelled at you because what you were doing the

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whole fucking night and chose to do during my set. No you talk through everyone says I know I've

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actually taken Michael Cooper's point. Yeah. No it was during the other comic said that's why

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you messaged me. And then you yelled during my set. I was annoyed during everyone else's hit.

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I yelled during my set. You were annoyed during everyone else's set. So he yelled at me during

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his set. I bet he could whistle through the holes in his teeth. And I said also a butch is I was

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being a bit nice and you sister share right off the bat about how do you not have the beginning

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of your set ready like a flute or something. Different notes. Michael Cooper told me it's

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not that he's neglecting his teeth. He's trying to make a harmonica on his teeth.

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He's putting little holes in them. And then he covers the holes his tongue and make different

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notes. Yeah. When you had the epoxy situation you're approaching Michael Cooper territory.

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Make your teeth into our Monica by putting little holes in them. Yeah.

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It's trying to a star is born through epoxy. Anyways in the end I there's a lot but I called

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him. I told me wasn't a comedian twice and I wanted to end up with him saying to keep it

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professional which I'm doing by saying this on a public platform. Let's keep it professional

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guys. And what does he mean by that like not do a fist fight because Michael Cooper I don't do

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fist fights. I have a knife and a gun. I do it Dale style open hand. Yeah. I think I'm not a good

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fighter. So I have a lot of weapons. It's funny. Dale so Dale says he always slaps people. It's

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like a hard slap he can knock you out with. He's kind of like a cat. You know that's like a cat.

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Dale's a kitty cat. He's a big cat. He's Garfield. Yeah. Okay folks I got a problem here.

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No I'm aside from the Michael Cooper bullshit. Oh dude there's a lot of shit going down this

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pissing me off. Okay. Yeah this is a kind of an anger. You're okay Mac kind of an anger episode.

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No. How you doing. Yeah we're worried about you. No I mean just when it rains the pores okay.

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Feaster famine. Feaster yeah beast of beast of burden or something.

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I'll never be your beast of burden. The Adam Freeland show on top of stealing our jokes. What's

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the Adam Freeland show I've never heard of this. It's it's it was a come town and Adam Freeland's

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at Skinny Jewish guy. Okay. Well what's come town. Come town is a it's a New York park. I don't

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know. It's a city made out of come population man. A little bird told me actually sorry some

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background here. We've caught Adam Freeland stealing our jokes twice. Oh this is a joke.

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Normally I mean it's been two different jokes that you I mean it's been the same week that they've

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come out with it after or after two weeks. My God. It's so upsetting to hear they saw our

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war what was good for this old Michael Clark Duncan jokes from us and now they have an ironic gun

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on their podcast that we've been doing for two and a half years since the inception of this podcast

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and I know it's mainly we had the idea for the gun before the podcast. Yeah.

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Yeah we've we've been doing this for two years and now you guys since you're losing viewership

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on your podcast portion trying to have your talk show now you're trying to get a gun

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but get a gun to get more views and stealing from an up and coming podcast. I just want to add to

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your point here like we've been doing the gun thing for two years but we've also before the

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podcast we used to just hang out and talk and point the gun at each other and pull a trigger

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with no camera. Yeah. So we've been actually doing that gun thing for maybe five six years maybe

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even 10 maybe even 10 years we've been so pointing a gun at each other while we talk.

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You should challenge him to a duel. Just so you know Adam we open every episode with a gun cock

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okay. Hell yeah. And I know it's mainly Nick holding the gun in the episode but we just want

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to kill you Adam. Yeah. Your name's on the show. We think you take responsibility. The other guy is

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better than you. So I mean yeah he's funny. I mean your name's on the show. This is on you buddy.

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So all I want to say is next time you're in Chicago we have next time you're in Chicago

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I've told all of our patrons all the hosts are aware everyone's aware it's on site. It's on site.

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If we see you and we're probably going to know where you are guaranteed to be in ICU. Yeah guaranteed

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to be in ICU and I will know where you are because if you're on a show in Chicago yeah it'll probably

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show your face on it or something. And then after we do that to you we're going to say check the

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scoreboard and then we're going to show you Chicago crime statistics. Yeah and then it's going to be

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the Nick Mullin show and the scoreboard is going to be like a lot of crime and what and then one

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more tick you're going to wear a watch that a little tick go up in the murder yeah in the murder

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column. Yeah and Adam I wasn't that upset when you kept stealing our jokes but now that you're

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stealing this staple of our podcast like this is our this is our what with a copy. It's a copy

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written. It's copy written but it's our trademark. It's a trademark. It's gone as our trademark.

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It's our finishing move and then signature. They just bring it on like it's just something they can

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do. Also Lemons party podcast with Tim Dillon's old bitch Ben Avery Stephen Avery or something

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whatever his name is. Yeah Stephen Avery Stephen Avery. Stephen Avery. Lemons party with Stephen

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Avery. They had to go on the podcast too. If you look at me I look exactly like Stephen Avery.

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I'll talk to Ben Avery is my brother. How long you've been doing Lemons party Stephen Avery.

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How long you've been doing it. Not as long as us you have an ironic gun.

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Lemons party more like demon party. You guys are you guys are pulling us through hell.

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I'm surprised Sam Talon didn't bring that up when he was on our episode or bring it up to them when

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he was on their episode. I don't think he did. He did bring it up. We're going to kill you.

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Well but he didn't say that they stole it. He didn't mention the gun but he mentioned that we

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were like them. He said we were a less nuanced version of them or yeah yeah we're sort of every

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man's version of a podcast that nobody listens to. No no we're going to step on by the lemon party

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is the one that no one listens to. Oh yeah we're the little guy again stepped on by the big guy

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who has plenty of success. We're going to kill you Adam Freeland and Stephen Avery from lemon

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party. We get some big guests. You ever heard of Jerry Hamedy. He's Persian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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Stephen Avery you know you know Ham talent that fat dude you guys had on the podcast. He does a

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podcast with Nathan Lawn our best friend. I love Nathan Lawn. So Stephen Avery watch your back.

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I went to Denver by the way. You don't get to have your own podcast. You get to be Tim Dylan's

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bitch. Everything you say about Denver. You get to be Tim Dylan's bitch. That's all you get to be

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and take the gun off your damn podcast. I think Tim Dylan fired him or something. Yeah. Take the

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gun off your podcast or we'll fire you like Tim Dylan did but we'll fire you when I say fire

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you. I mean maybe we could do like a fire at you. We'll do a duel at all another gun podcast.

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So it would be like so. Yeah. I mean I was a joke. I'm proposing it for a reality though. Oh yeah

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like what I'm in the middle of do I like when I'm in the middle of like a thing where I'm like

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going off. I'm not listening to anything else or when I'm when I'm reading through the Michael

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Cooper thing I wasn't listening to you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when you're just like around me ever.

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Well it's 20 minutes. Sometimes it hurts me. No my brain is it hurts me. No but if I'm like

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stressed out or we're working on something I'm not good at like multi hearing. I'm not going to

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hear any other stuff while I'm in the middle of something. I'm pretty bad at multi hearing as well.

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I have selective hearing when I'm working on stuff. You should do a Michael Cooper but he

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doesn't get a gun. I'm down. I'm like Kanye West. I love your titties because I could focus on

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do things at once. Michael Cooper is the third on our on our kill list. None of us would be sorry on

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our cancel list on our cancel list. Can't cancel list. What's the cancelist code for something

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we've been talking about. Let me check that. So none of us would be here without come town.

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No. Yeah. Kind of joke. You joke about we stole this from come town. Well we did steal their

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essence. Yeah. No. No. No. No. They still are essence I think but they didn't have a gun. Yeah.

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I remember the free gun is our whole thing. That's what makes us funny. First time I've

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ever listened to come town I had a black girlfriend I lived with and a trans roommate

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and I was like oh my god I need headphones or you can make your own. I was like these

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these guys are going to ruin my life. And you know what he hears. And you also listen to

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what's his name. Kevin. Kevin Brennan's and he he does like come town but he means it.

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He's like actually all right. Yeah. Like he's actually like racist and stuff but he makes

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like the exact same jokes as come town. I'm gonna do a little bit of camera. It's really awesome.

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I want to make a podcast with Brian Johnson so bad just you and him. Yeah. I think I like

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to look. I think it would work. I'm talking when I talk to Brian Johnson it's just like him

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railroading me. Yeah. So I feel like if you're cool with just sitting there listening to him

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to rant about how he regrets making a trans go joke 10 years ago. Yeah. Like he like he has all

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this guilt about like woke issues. That's just like it's just like the anti-mac but the same.

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The thing about Brian Johnson is like his life is so bad he should be like allowed to say the

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N word and make whatever joke he wants. You know what I mean. Like no one would he nobody.

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He's not punching down on anyone because he's already at the bottom. But he used to punch

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down and he still feels guilty about his own so many. Brian Johnson cannot by definition

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can not punch down. He can punch down. No he can't because there's no one below him. He is he is

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pinnacle of comedy. Yeah Dylan you can't see these these you can do a podcast with him

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and here but it's you got to pay 40 a prep so to do it. What privilege does Brian Johnson have

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over anyone. Those are my standards. He's naturally funny. He can he is naturally funny. He could be

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like a machine that just goes for an hour straight. They should do a remake of the machine

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for Christ. You're with Brian Johnson. Your shirt. Yeah I'd love to see Brian Johnson.

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By the way if anybody wants to record a podcast here it's 40 an hour. It's $10 cheaper than

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Lincoln Lodge. You need money. No I'm just saying I mean I want to build the network.

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It's a professional. Also check out cool steeper club dot com. Use our comedy. Use our promo code

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bad comedy for subscription to 25 percent off. Check out comedy bar. They're cool. We're doing

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a live show comedy bar January 10th my birthday. Come to comedy bar in Chicago and check out

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future bad comedy podcast network. Yeah. Have some of you on there potentially. We could maybe

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bring my fake comedy bar. I have like a fake gun. Yeah. You're good. Talk. I'm talking. Yeah. So

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I so bad comedy podcast network is going to be in probably partnership with a comedy bar. But

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maybe we'll see. But we are. I don't know. I might say no or not. I don't know. Maybe. No. Or

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we go to work. I mean county bar is cool but I'm kind of holding out for a creek in the cave.

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Yeah. I'm actually I was talking to Kumi. I'm trying to do with something with Second City

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Main Stage. I was talking to King Louis in regards to this sweatshirt. He wants one. Yeah.

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That rules dude. I'm happy. Actually got to you. Got back to you. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking.

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You guys said them one. Yeah. I got to get it. I got to remember where I made it in your PO box

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buddy. Yeah. Just go through your order. I'm getting sent here. So I'm going to I'm going to

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get a two XL made and I'm going to send here and be like why don't you come to the podcast

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when you're here. I have a kind of having King Louis on the podcast. It would be so funny. I

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have a kind of funny. You kill us. I have a funny shirt story. Do you want to hear my funny shirt

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story. I would love to. I was in Denver last weekend and hang out with Denver hang out with

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my brothers and Denver was there. Nice. And my brother's you know who Denver is. My brother started

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a fighting kind of my one brother was like trying to fight my other brother and I he like got him

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in a choke so I pulled it apart and then my he pushed me and I tripped over the guy on the ground

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and he came down on top of me and I smashed the back of my head on the ground and I and he was

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on top of me. He's like this is kind of crazy. Right. I go my head really hurts. I think I really

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heard something. So I got up and there was like a horror movie amount of blood on the ground.

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Oh my God. Like can I see you do you have stitches. I have staples right here. That's a cutting

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hair out. No. I see. Yeah. I could it'll be a second. But then you trust your bad ears.

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Always doing that. Let's do a whole show. This is a new segment. We show each other our fucked up

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shit. Oh dude. OK. Yes. I have to see under the hair. But yeah. I can see a little bit.

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You're kind of like Chris Stapleton. That's what they've been calling me. I'm just a rough

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flange and he's hanging out Ben Verben verse a guy named Ben and he's half man half beaver.

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You guys want to visit the staple center. It's right here. Right here. It's like a centaur.

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It's it's kind of a staple of this podcast. I like the gun. Leave it to Ben. It's kind of

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interesting to treat my head like crushing a beer can. I get the ground like and then just

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like some liquid comes out. You ever you ever cry for a beer can. I burp. I burp. Crystured it.

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Beer can is so anyway. I go to the E.R. and that's right. Did you ambulance there. No. No I took

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a Uber. That's the smartest decision. Yeah. Ambulance is the biggest bullshit of all time.

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So expensive. It's just as expensive as the hospital. It was like three in the morning

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to so I figured whatever. So I get to the hospital and Stephen Haas was there. They the whole thing

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is like they like they put some needles in your head. They like to do to do a bunch of needles

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in your head with like numbing shit. They clean it out and then they staple it. So I just do this

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when I'm not hurt. So I'm in there and it's really funny because I'm in the hospital. My head's

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bleeding everywhere and I'm like a napkin on it and I'm wearing a shirt. It says God's favorite.

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So that's my funny shirt story where people like. Yeah. I was. No it was really stupid.

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Anybody make a joke about it. I did. No the other people weren't really joke. They were like

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serious medical. If I was a doctor I would have been like I don't know. Well then she goes to

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clean out my wound and she's just basically pouring water on my head and it's leaking down

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in my shirt and my shirt is just like soaking with blood and water and it was just like a wet.

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It was my white shirt so you can see like my nipples and it's just like blood and water

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completely soaked my shirt and then she brought me a paper shirt but she didn't have an XL or

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she didn't have a 2 XL so paper shirt. Yeah it was like a paper hospital shirt. He like one and

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I put it on and it was a cloth gown type of it was so tight. She's like I could cut the sides to

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make it a little more loose and then she cut the sides and basically tore off. We should get paper

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shirts and wooden shoes but yeah they have these like they go fun paper shirts. We should do paper

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shirts. They're horrible. You won and lost a wet t-shirt contest at the same time. I feel like

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if I was a doctor and I saw a patient that is God's favorite I'm like I'm gonna help that guy first.

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I hope you get in with God. You should wear it every day. No there's funny doctors though like my

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GI my Crohn's doctor. He's always like a make fun of Nancy Pelosi and like saying that he hates

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lip cokes but those guys have it like ER doctors aren't I don't they're not funny with patients. Yeah

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supposedly there's a there's a gallows humor among the nurses. Oh yeah I guess you see people die all

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the time. Yeah but but you're always doing with assholes. Yeah but just when I'm just talking

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with him when I'm when I'm chopping it up with my GI. He's like he's like seven feet tall. When he's

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chopping up your bottle and he's chopping it up and he just hates Democrats. He just rambles about it

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and I'm like dude totally because you know I watch the news I know all about it. I got a new

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open mic joke whenever somebody is on the names on the list but they're not there. I say their name

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and no one comes up I go what is this the people who voted for the Democrats.

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What I kind of do is I just what I'm responding to this this really conservative doctor

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is rambling about like Nancy Pelosi and stuff. I just say yeah I just say like regular like

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it's sort of the talking points. I'm like I hate Texas. You should just stay. I don't know what's

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going on in the news. I'm the specifics. I mean you know the broad strokes. Right. Yeah I'm just

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like dude I mean free market. I mean yeah yeah the less regulation the better. Yeah Ronald Reagan.

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No not trickle down. What's what should our platform of trickle down be. I should say I'm

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like a free Palestine. No like pickled down. Pickle down economics. Not binary but the jude.

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Pickle down economics. We do that. That's our platform. I think I have our platform saved somewhere

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in there. I'll add them. Oh we're gonna have like a how about the end of CMO trickle down. Brickled up.

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The new day. I should have like a platform for like actually I'll say the data CMO idea for the

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Patreon. You have like a political. The one that we were doing earlier. Steph Max Rice is a he's a

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politician but he's really a comedian. You only hear my impression. You should do the opposite.

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Hey Ronald I'm a Maxie Rice. I had that you that you got beat up by Chance the Rapper

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through five degrees of people. The first thing I did when I woke up today was I listened to the

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South Park song. I'm so Ronery. You remember that. Team America. Singles. Amazing. Because

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Nura's cat was crying. It was all sad. I was like your cat is like the song.

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I listened to a Chinese song. I've been listening to a song every day. Usually when I wake up for

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a thing I do I hit my gong. Now there's power hour last night. There's an Indian and Jason played

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an Indian theme. Was it long ago. Yeah. But I believe it was. It was not long. Patron Patron

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Longo. What was the Indian theme. I don't know. I thought you played like a little Indian riff

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Matthew. I probably just played the same thing I always play which is the like

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no see Matthew tried playing that when there's an Asian guy. Oh yeah. He couldn't even play it.

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That's so disrespectful. At least get it right. Yeah. If you're trying to like. Yeah. Try to be

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wrong. When it comes to Matthew Doyle Perez patron we love him. So when it comes to the guy's names

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like John. If you can do a pie chart you love these right. Yeah. And then what percentage of the

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pie chart do you think would be comedy skill and guitar skill which for Matthew Doyle Perez. Yeah.

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Like what percentage of each. I mean I play guitar but I think he's like incredible guitar.

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Okay. And I'm way better at comedy than him. So like 99. So it's like I feel like 90 ton or

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something. Well I'm talking about his comedy versus his guitar. Yeah I know but I'm like super

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biased because I really look up to his guitar and I really look down on a stand up. So we'll

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say 98 we'll say 98 to 2. Okay. Sure. Sounds about right. I don't even want to talk shit about that

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guy. I love him so much. Well Matt Perez I got I got a guitar and I'm not going to learn to play it.

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There was that one story. I was outside of power hour. I was like I hated when people do this kind

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of joke. I just heard someone do it the other day. I'm talking shit about it. Oh Matthew

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Doyle Perez. Oh that was me. Sorry dude. Wow. And you just sent this guy to his face without

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remembering it was him. Matt Perez knows we talk shit about him. That's funny that you disconnected

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it from even being a person. You're just like this. I mean it's a type of joke I've heard for

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years at Open Mike. So I was really just trying to hate. We love him. The hackiness of it. We love

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him and we love PD Rodriguez. Shout out to do a PD shout out. Yeah. What do you after you get

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the keyless shot. You go like oh but I had a weird I had an Asian moment with that guy. I think his

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name is John something and he the drinker was Kaylee Horton and she was telling that God that

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John guy. Yeah you didn't she didn't say anything. She just ate like catfish and then no one. It was

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a mess. Last night was a mess. Honestly it was ladies night which is cool. I'm drinking on 12

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one so you guys should come. Yeah. I think I'm gonna do mushrooms or something and

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it's gonna be boys night because it was ladies night. That's gonna be men's night or boys night

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male host. So I fell as night. That's what I've been calling it. Nice. Close. So anyway this Asian

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guy is talking to Kaylee. His name is John something. You can't remember. And he goes

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and Kaylee was actually he was like I have trouble getting women because I'm Asian or

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something and he was like actually my friend the other day said who was that hot Asian guy

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talking about you and I said are you sure she wasn't talking about Tom Chang.

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And he's like what Tom Chang. I was like do you know Tom Chang. He's a hot dude and he's like

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we don't all know each other. Tom Chang comes here all the time dude. He said we don't all know each

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other. Yeah like because I like do you know this other guy and I was literally mean like Tom Chang

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is a comic who comes to this very same open mic and he's like and he did the thing like not all

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Asians know each other dude and it's like no we all know Tom Chang. No you should have said yeah you do.

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He said he also said when Asians see each other on the street because there's not a lot in Chicago

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they always give each other a nod and I was like yeah I always nod at Asian people too.

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Going nod. What's up. Not a lot of you guys. I bow to them.

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A lot of people minorities. This would be respectful. I gotta do a nice bow.

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But the nod is kind of like there. I see you. Yeah I see you. Yeah. When you say I see you it sounds

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more like I see you. I figured out where I remember I'm one episode I said I see you.

364
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,440
That's from Lord of the Rings. That was the voice from the big eye. No way.

365
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:46,760
Sauron has a voice. Sauron. It's a guy trapped in a yeah it's like the evil Lord.

366
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:52,440
It's Sauron. Sauron. I don't know he talks. Sauron. Sauron. Yeah it's Sauron Fogarish.

367
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:57,880
He's like I'm a big fat guy. I see you. He's really trying to break the

368
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:03,240
inner eye with his fatness. I see the biggest fattest guy in the room. He wants to be famous

369
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:08,680
for saying that he's a big fat guy. I get it now. We all want to be fatties. Hey listen buddy we all

370
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:13,400
want to be famous for that. Dude he's probably got beef with Ken Floreid because Ken Floreid

371
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:17,640
probably loves beef. I know man. He probably thinks that Ken Floreid is stealing from me.

372
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:20,840
They would probably love to get together and have a beef. Yeah go to the hotel.

373
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:30,200
Do you think dude I would like that. I want to see Ken Floreid and Sauron fight.

374
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:35,480
Yeah the problem is every time they have beef they just problem is every time they have beef

375
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:42,200
they just eat it. And they fall asleep. Ken Floreid's a dentist which is kind of cool.

376
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,560
Yeah that's cool. I kind of wish I was darker skinned so my teeth looked whiter.

377
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:51,320
Even if I was just like more tan than my teeth would look brighter. You should get veneers

378
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:55,400
dude. Yeah we gotta run our money. You can pick like the color. You can get like blue looking

379
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,960
ones. We gotta get our money right. It looks like you know like a fluorescent light. It looks

380
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:02,760
kind of blue. You can get your teeth like that. I mean if anything I would get gold.

381
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:08,120
Well you do like a 10 year ago fun me to get veneers and then like we better get these wooden

382
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:14,760
shoes soon. I think Gucci used to have gold veneers gold plated veneers at least. But then

383
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,680
once he got out of jail he got skinny he got white veneers. I would give veneers but you got me

384
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:23,400
those grills that once I put those in. Have you tried those. Yeah did you fuck with them.

385
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:28,920
I might do that today. Yeah I'm gonna boil some water because it's like a mouth guard.

386
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,440
Wait are those the same ones I got you or is that different. I think you have probably

387
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:37,320
yeah I got mine from Team Moo it's probably the same thing. No I actually I actually thought

388
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:42,040
like if I bought something from Team Moo it would be bad so I went like one level up price

389
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,680
was all right. Thank you because I wanted you to actually wear them tomorrow because I thought it

390
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:53,000
would be funny if you were even harder to understand on the podcast. All right so tomorrow Dylan let's

391
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:58,280
let's eat. Let's eat. It's both try out our grills like at home separately we'll boil them and then

392
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:04,440
we'll send videos to the group chat of how we sound and how we look. Okay and then we'll get Jason's

393
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:09,080
post that on the Patreon and then Jason post that on the Patreon. Yeah guys that's some Patreon only

394
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:18,680
stuff and we also have an episode with Nick Mullin actually that's only on Patreon but it's

395
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:25,080
titled it's it's tight what was it. This is but it's actually called Jerry Homidy. I don't we

396
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:31,000
accidentally people might actually do it. Yeah I don't know that would be hilarious. Fuck them if

397
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:35,640
they are stupid enough to fall for this. Can you tell the truth and say that it's true.

398
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:45,080
I mean yeah if I have grills in it's on it's on I hear your headphones bad right now maybe

399
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:51,960
I have grills and cut out at all. If I have grills in does that mean that my personality I have to

400
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:59,880
act more hard. No dude like look at I mean there's certain rappers who have grills and they don't

401
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:08,200
act hard all the time. Like Riff Raff. Oh yeah Riff Raff rules. Kodak Black seems like a 12 year

402
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:13,720
old to me. Okay. Because I think he got famous when he was 12 so he never grew up. My friend opened

403
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:21,080
for Riff Raff rapping. That rules. He got boot off stage because he was Riff Raff fans. He's like a lame

404
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:26,280
frat rapper. When I was with my brothers in Denver I made them listen to all four tiptoe songs in a

405
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:32,520
row by Riff Raff. Those are my favorites. Listen to Riff Raff Chris Cross. The tiptoes the tiptoes

406
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:39,400
verse on tip the sorry the riff Raff verse on tiptoes four is the worst best rap verse of all time.

407
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:45,160
It's 100% level five. We'll have to like listen to it at some point. I've never heard anything like

408
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:51,400
this. I'm down. It's so good. It's so good. A little bird told me some tea that I can say on here.

409
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:59,800
Let's get it. If you look up Lincoln Lodge the public business ownership owner John Ledley.

410
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:07,400
Nice. Sorry Mark Geary. Dude it'd be kind of funny if he went in and like ousted everybody

411
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:11,480
and then just put us in. Yeah. And I just looked it up. Dude. I mean dude everyone.

412
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:15,800
Let's talk to John about it. Rose battle into Zandies. Everyone's leaving the lodge. Oh really.

413
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:21,800
Yeah. We should move into the lodge then and we could we could use their spot. Yeah. And we could

414
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:28,040
turn it into the new north bar. Yeah. But Mark wouldn't allow that. Well we would be able to buy

415
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:34,360
his steak and then let John back in. We'll hire Jim. Do you guys to us to sit by the bar and

416
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:39,640
yeah we'll have Jim do operations. His job is to sit by the bar and smell bad. Yeah. Smell bad.

417
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:46,120
And then you get riders back up. We also got a rider could be as filling as we got to buy a big

418
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:50,760
loud speaker to be playing music behind him. So when he's talking to you quietly you can't hear

419
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,760
anything. Yeah. Yeah. So you have to wait in and smell his milk breath. Part of the part of his job

420
00:39:54,760 --> 00:40:00,200
is milk breath. Every day he shows up we have a glass of milk on the counter for him. No.

421
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:04,440
But that's what I love about Jim is in north bar he's very hands on. He would always be like you

422
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:09,800
know running around in all the operations. He would never. Yeah. Yeah. He never just delegated

423
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:14,280
every single thing to people. He never asked me to move a bunch of chairs every time he did a comedy

424
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:20,680
show. He never made me do a bunch of stuff all the time. Khalil hands on to wanted to vote for him

425
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:26,200
for hardest working comedian but he's not working anymore. Shout out about Khalil the comedian.

426
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:34,840
Shout out. Shout out to Jim from North Bar. First of all for being my comedy dad for a year. But

427
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:39,960
second of all I kind of helped him like clean out the place a little bit. It was only like a half

428
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:48,520
hour he needed help with with some stuff. And he gave me he gave me three big bottles of liquor.

429
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:54,040
Oh nice. Yeah. Yeah. And and some like random stuff. I forgot what it was. But poker and

430
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:58,760
the liquor in the back was getting some upstairs gave you all that alcohol. Do you think they

431
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:05,240
are maybe grooming you or they were flying away. They're flying away to LA. Yeah. Okay.

432
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:10,120
When a gay guy grooms you it's because he's trying to make you his groom. I saw this thing of like

433
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:16,440
he did he was maybe grooming Justin Bieber. And I think he did. That's interesting because he's

434
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:23,160
just kind of he doesn't really do that much music himself. It doesn't seem like he would just kind

435
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:28,360
of ride off the success of other people or just like yeah. So I feel like Mac you could be like

436
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:35,400
a p ditty of what comedy with your yeah bad comedy podcast. Yeah. I mean my plan is to have an

437
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:40,280
absolute empire. So I would be kind of like a Dr. Dre or a p ditty or something like that. Yeah.

438
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:46,600
So you got to get like Dale because Dre I feel like in NWA wasn't I feel like easy. He was the

439
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:51,880
main guy. Dale would be like a big small. Yeah. I think ice cube was big too though. Ice cube as

440
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:57,640
well. Yeah. I feel like I'll be like I think I think about Dr. Dre is like I don't think he

441
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,640
actually wrote any of his lyrics ever and that's he's always been more of a producer. He is our

442
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:10,120
beat maker. Dude I went to a gym planning and show and that piece of shit dude that asshole.

443
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:16,360
I mean after the show I was like Jim how's it going. And he was like Mac you are not funny.

444
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:22,840
You'll never do anything well in comedy. And I was like I'm sorry man. Like what's what's good.

445
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:28,840
And he was like leave leave now. This is a nice rose money. I knew he was mean but that's crazy.

446
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,200
He was also just being mean to people in the audience for no reason like he was doing like

447
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:38,120
crowd work like I mean yeah. It wasn't like a Hofstetter thing where he catch like re catches

448
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,040
are you saying something bad. No it's like Dave Chappelle and Nutty Professor. Yeah. He was calling

449
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:47,800
people fad and yeah. Well it was kind of like when Sam Priest was at Dave that Dave Chappelle.

450
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,440
Dave Chappelle called him that basically Jim Flankey was just calling everyone the

451
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:57,000
F Slur in the front row. That's not appropriate anymore. And he wasn't even drunk. He had I think

452
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,640
he had one Heineken. Well yeah we know. I mean I guess no I guess it doesn't take much from the

453
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:07,240
show is true colors. He kind of wish he was drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Give him a good excuse because

454
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:12,440
obviously like you can do anything you want if you're drunk because it doesn't count. I remember

455
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:18,120
one time I was like hanging out at the Laf Factory and I heard over the speaker the comedian and

456
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:23,240
they're saying the N word over and over. I'm like is this Kramer on stage. I go in there just Jim

457
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:31,080
Flanigan doing his doing his written material. Oh my God. Like oh my God bro. Every time I hear

458
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:37,240
about Jim I'm like this because I used to think he was a nice guy. You know that's what he goes on

459
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:42,840
like he goes on like the daytime news remote shows. Yeah. Seems like a super nice chill guy. Yeah.

460
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:47,640
I mean he was not really nice. He went on to enjoy and he was nice then but he became just

461
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,280
a monster. You know what he's it's probably the success is going to his I think it's going to

462
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:57,240
his head. There's this one time I was like asking him about you know like where to find corporate

463
00:43:57,240 --> 00:44:02,440
gigs with some he just gave me some advice and he was like super nice about it and he was like

464
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:09,400
like yeah if you have any questions ever just let me know like anything. I'm like OK yeah that's

465
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:16,600
how mean he is. No no it's the long call. And then he said not. So when he said not I was kind of

466
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:21,800
I mean that's kind of funny though. Yeah. For the clip you should redo what you just said and then

467
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:29,160
he said not. Do you want me to. Yeah. You ran the gym playing. Yeah. No there's this one time I

468
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:34,360
was asking him just some random comedy advice and he gave me good advice and he was like if you ever

469
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:43,560
need anything let me know anything. Yeah. Not. He said yeah. So I was like you got me but it was

470
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:48,600
not funny. Yeah. It was funny. You want to be successful. That really kind of helped you

471
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:53,880
some advice from a guy who is full time comedy. Yeah. I could probably change my whole career

472
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:59,240
trajectory. He does. He does by saying not. Yeah. Really took away everything he said. Yeah.

473
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:03,560
That's cool. It's cool. You even let you talk to him though because I one time I tried to walk up to

474
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,640
him and a couple other comedians were talking and they were in a circle and I tried to enter

475
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:12,200
the circle and he kept putting his arm out putting his shoulder in front of me. He wouldn't let me

476
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:19,720
into the circle. I was like come on. I know all you guys. Yeah. And he said no. This is for headliners

477
00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:24,600
only. Yeah. Yeah. This is the headliner circle and he put out his arm. What time I was you should

478
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:30,520
told me what time I was in Zane ease and I saw it was Sean Flannery Jim Flanagan and Robbie

479
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:36,120
Flanigan who works in Zane ease. They're all they're on a circle. I accidentally I accidentally

480
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:42,920
called the blinding white skin in the front. The most Irish three guys I mean their names

481
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:49,160
their names are all very similar. So I walked up to Jim accidentally called him Robbie Flannery

482
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:56,200
and he was like what did you just call me. Oh my God. That is not my name. Get out of Zane

483
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,480
ease. I don't want to see you at this Zane ease. I don't want to see you Zane ease Roman. Oh my

484
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:08,440
God. Rosemont Schomburg and he said I don't want to see you ever again. Get out of my sight. Yeah.

485
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,960
And then I went to the bathroom and Stephen house and Adam and Matt is very sick.

486
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:20,360
What a traumatic night. Dude I went home and cried. Jesus. Yeah. So you're Adam and Eve not

487
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:28,120
Adam and Steve. I think that's what it was. Yeah. I tried to like speaking of getting his name

488
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:33,720
wrong. I tried to do a little riff on his name one night I go. Hey what's up there Jimmy flannel

489
00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:38,120
shirt. Yeah. And you know it's funny. It's a cute little yeah. Just joking around with him. I thought

490
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:43,000
we're friends. He goes you'll never work in this town again. Yeah. What. He's like I'm going to be

491
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:48,200
sure of it. Dude he said one phone call and I'll end your entire career. It must be that that

492
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:55,320
Irish short fuse that he just kind of snaps on the snap of a nickel or whatever the thing is.

493
00:46:55,320 --> 00:47:01,080
Also I wonder who is one phone call is. What do you mean which Jewish guy is that.

494
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:10,840
That could ruin my whole career. Yeah. Birdhouse. Dude one time I went I went to Zany's and ran to

495
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:19,960
birdhouse and I put some bird feet in it so that birds can get food. You fed the bird. That's nice.

496
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:25,320
Yeah. There's actually there's a physical bird house that runs Zany's and there's Steven Haas.

497
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:31,640
You know what dude that would definitely explain that guy's weirdness if he grew up in a birdhouse

498
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:38,040
like a giant bird house. That could be one of his sketches him and him and his dad crawling out that

499
00:47:38,040 --> 00:47:46,120
little hole in the side like birds and kind of there's like an egg bed. He could be an egg lord.

500
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:54,440
It's just the house is just full of little sticks. Hey wait. We talked about we talked about

501
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,360
actually I think we already talked about this. It was well it was

502
00:47:59,720 --> 00:48:08,520
Sorob was Dr. Chair instead of Dr. House. But then did I do Steven Haas was the show is called

503
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:17,080
Steven House. His name is House. He's an autistic doctor and he made he makes sketches and his

504
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:23,880
digs to the viket and plays jazz guitar. Was in a birdhouse. I mean what's his name does play the

505
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:31,880
piano you know. He's got a lot of talent. His is ticktocks and reels do well. So good for him.

506
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:36,520
Good for you Steven House. I like his pickleball. I hope I play pickleball.

507
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:41,640
I hope Adam and I'm not Brian area. Don't play pickleball. Yeah. Let us know if you could call

508
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:48,040
in. Let us know how Adam Addis is wiener is. I picture it being really long.

509
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,680
Do you need anything back from Excel. Oh shit. I picture is we are really long skinny.

510
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:57,880
Excel wanted us to call him to do a five band interview for his ticktock channel.

511
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:07,320
Excel. I got no message back. Who's Excel. Let me grab my iPad. He got back to me on snap.

512
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:15,960
Is that who's what's it called. What has happened news. Yeah. Yeah. He wants us to help him with

513
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:24,440
that. No that's sweet. He's gonna he's gonna do a bit mojies on us. It's dope. I was wanting to do a

514
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:29,800
news thing. I get to do a current events show soon. We used to do the news on here. You could do the

515
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:36,600
news sometimes new little segment. We only really cover monkey attacks. Remember that. Yeah.

516
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:43,640
I feel like yeah. I might have to fake one. I saw this lady was faking sideline reports in the

517
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:49,400
NFL and I thought maybe I'll just make shit up for now. I mean the news is pretty much all made

518
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:55,560
up anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Not just kidding. Yeah. I walk out for one second.

519
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:03,160
This is the news. I love the news and AP news is probably my favorite because it's

520
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:11,720
love really because college credits. I get to our college. That's a thing. They were AP classes.

521
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:22,200
We had style AP swag. What does AP stand for a penis. So that's pretty good. I mean I kind of

522
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:27,240
thought a pussy guys back me up here. I got I can't thank you up on him. You know when I'm doing a

523
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:34,120
task. Yeah. Why not. You can't multi listen. Yeah. Yeah. Mac can't multi listen. I can multi

524
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:42,520
task. I can do several tasks. You can do double task but you can't multi listen. Right. He's got one year. Yeah.

525
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:48,360
I only got one year. It doesn't go in one year out the other. It's just like doesn't go in one

526
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:53,880
year. It just have a force field. Yeah. I have had it doesn't go in one year. It doesn't go out the

527
00:50:53,880 --> 00:51:00,360
other. Yeah. Strength or a weak one year out the out the other as well. Do you think it's a strength

528
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:06,760
or weakness. Is that we say yeah or both or both. It depends on the situation. Do you think on a

529
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:13,960
podcast which is a conversation style. Do you think it's a strength or a weakness. It depends on what

530
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:20,520
the conversation is and if it's like a riffing it once and a five minute monologue. Yeah. What do

531
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:25,320
you think about talking under people for like the whole episodes. Kind of don't have a choice. So

532
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:31,000
yeah you do. You really do. I really don't have a choice. They didn't teach you how to talk in the

533
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:37,880
trees. They definitely did not teach him how to talk in upper peninsula. They didn't teach him. No.

534
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:46,760
You just be polite. Get the most out of everybody. We're not getting the most out of everybody for

535
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:53,400
making it undecernable. But you told me the other night when you were in the UP you didn't

536
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:57,960
realize that people like inflected your voices until you came here or something like that. I didn't

537
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:02,200
say that. You said like nobody ever accused you of that till you came here. Now in college you

538
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:06,680
called it in heaven for us. You said. You don't remember this conversation we were having. No I

539
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:12,360
remember. You said on the podcast that you first really noticed it in college and your roommate

540
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:17,480
said you sounded like you were stoned. If you were listening I wasn't my roommate. It was your

541
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:24,440
boyfriend. Yeah your gay boyfriend. Sorry. You weren't listening. Your male sex partner. No we didn't

542
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:32,520
have sex. Jason. Yeah just hand him off stuff. I think he hears AP he thinks a penis. He thinks

543
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:41,400
that's literally what it stands for. I didn't name it. It stands for a pussy. Ever heard of it.

544
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:48,040
What is it about you. Your massage. What is it named after you in your life. He's a pussy.

545
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:55,960
That's good dude. I had another great moment at power hour when somebody on stage goes make

546
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:59,640
some noise if you guys have been bullied in your life and some people clapped and then I yelled

547
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:05,240
you're all pussies. Nice. That was a big moment for me. So then like everybody should be nice.

548
00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:09,480
Like everyone at once. That's kind of like what Jim Flanagan does. He bullied everybody.

549
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:14,280
He said he wants to be called and word Jim from now on. Do you think it's a good rebranding. Yeah.

550
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:20,920
I mean first of all racist second of all kind of stealing from first of all Samuel Clemens and

551
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:27,240
Louis C.K. He's been mean to me so much every time he's mean to me. I go not flan again. Nice.

552
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:36,040
There's gold. I wonder when he's because he's he's seen he saw the thing where you're talking

553
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:42,680
about how mean he was because I know for sure because I commented Ed Jim Flanagan so me

554
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:47,560
and then he liked it. Oh yeah. I have some food for that clip had a lot of shares.

555
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:54,200
Yeah. More shares than like yeah which is actually a good son. That's what I like. Yeah. I like it.

556
00:53:56,520 --> 00:54:00,520
I have a food for thought though. So I was thinking out Adam and Eve you mentioned and

557
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:08,360
and of course God made Eve out of his rib. Adam's rib. Yeah. He had a lot of ribs. How come he only

558
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:16,280
made him one woman. He was worried about the river. I'll vote. He should he should. Yeah. If you can

559
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:21,320
make a woman out of one of my ribs I'll give you all my ribs. Exactly. Yeah. They don't need ribs that

560
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:27,640
I like women. I'm a whore. You might want to keep some ribs because the woman will she'll

561
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:32,360
pack your heart. Yeah. Oh yeah. I still got to protect. That's why. Yeah. That's why he could

562
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:39,320
only afford to lose one rib. Because once he got the woman he needed more protection for his heart.

563
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:45,000
And then it's like how many women could overpower a man. They don't need to overpower us because

564
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:48,680
they can overpower our hearts. How many women does take a screw in a light bulb.

565
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:55,160
I don't know how many one. They probably know how to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why it's a

566
00:54:55,160 --> 00:55:01,160
question. Jason. Well I didn't know. Yeah. I've literally never seen a woman do anything useful.

567
00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:06,760
Whoa. I'm not I mean not cool man. I honestly haven't ever seen a woman screw in a light.

568
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:12,120
Like we say honest. You know why because if there's a light bulb out they make the guy fix it. And

569
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:17,640
that's sexist. Jason you say all the best of stuff on here but the thing about women not doing

570
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:23,080
anything I can't I can't stand. I said I'd never seen it from my personal experience. Women are

571
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:29,720
people you know. Yeah. The only kind of job I ever seen a woman do is a fucking suck on my dick.

572
00:55:29,720 --> 00:55:33,400
Women are women are kind of like black people you know can't live with them can't live without them.

573
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:41,960
Black women are black people. How about this that lady that was like the Simon racist the

574
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:46,120
sideline reports. It's confusing because people always say people say that about like sisters

575
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:50,680
and women all the time Dylan we're not you're not talking under us we're talking over you.

576
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:54,600
Yeah. Well we're just talking that time and then you're you were talking under us.

577
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,000
Anyway what are you going to say about light bulbs.

578
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,120
Go ahead Dylan floors your little screw driver.

579
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:16,680
Saying that the lady who lied on the sideline reports and believe all women lie. Oh yeah.

580
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:22,520
Yeah. Believe all I say and not. Well it's actually scientific fact that women have never

581
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:28,920
lied. That's why you're supposed to believe all women and believe no men. Well men always lie.

582
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:34,360
Many men. I mean I lie constantly. Oh me and Bob Keen were on national TV. Remember that guys.

583
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,920
We talked about that in the group chat. It was pretty cool to be on TV with Bob Keen.

584
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:42,520
Yeah. I'm surprised you fit in the frame with his giant head. Yeah. Nice.

585
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:47,800
You just got roasted on national television. No Bob. Yeah. Bob. Yeah.

586
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:53,160
This is national television. Even use. I don't like when Bob's around dude. I honestly hate it.

587
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:57,880
Yeah. No I'm not actually friends with him though. Just so I can get likes I posted that.

588
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:02,120
I didn't realize I hated him so much. Just got realized if you hate someone they're probably

589
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:07,560
miserable. So just be nice to him anyway. Well yeah he is miserable but I wish you would also

590
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:13,080
disappear from the earth. Was he in that clip when you got I'm so Kyle. I went to snap chat.

591
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:19,080
It was on tiktok. I was talking to him on as pretty fucking retarded like reset my password for

592
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:26,200
snapchat. Everything. Wow. Trying to hit up some high schoolers. Such a waste of time.

593
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:32,680
Yeah. Did you get snapchat so you could pull pull go full Rick and Morty. Snaps snap snap

594
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:37,320
jackal and pop. He loves high school boys. You guys knew that right. My grandpa

595
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:43,720
stay the same age. My grandpa was was the head of the team that came up with snap crackle pop and

596
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:51,160
you just got roasted. You're you're you're a Kepler. Yeah. Nice. No but I think the keeper

597
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:57,720
was in there. Tony the Tiger to can Sam all those guys. Do you guys know the Haas family.

598
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:03,080
I think their house is in your tree. It's a bird house. You can play at that game. They're

599
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:07,640
your neighbors. You can you can't say you can't say I'm at that game. I'll tell you that much.

600
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:14,840
Well I guess maybe we'll have to call Excel during the motion episode. No we gotta hit up Excel.

601
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:20,920
Well he didn't get back to me. We'll hit up X X X Excel. It said he saw my message.

602
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:32,200
I feel like we'll figure it out. I feel like when it says seen I feel seen. You know what

603
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:37,960
happens when you take me bird watching is I go I seen you because I always say I seen it. Yeah

604
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:45,560
Mac make it mad at me for my grammar because he's a Nazi of sorts. I am not a Nazi. I was

605
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:52,760
hanging out with a Nazi at a bar. You say not a lot. You're very Nazi. I'm not. Yeah.

606
00:58:54,280 --> 00:59:01,160
Nice. Yeah. I tried to apply. I'll tell you why. He's not a C. What is it. My airplane joke that

607
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:08,280
you don't like. The airplane. I have a fear of flying to horror movie for me. What about mine.

608
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:17,960
I just flew in from a boy. My arms tired. But I took a Flintstones car. Boy or boy or my

609
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:22,360
legs tired. I got a new joke. I was going to save it for the lotion episode. But well it actually

610
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:28,680
was Detroit. You want to hear my new jokes. I got two new jokes. Yes. All right. New joke number one.

611
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:33,640
I've been trying to update my language and not say anything offensive. Why is that. What are you

612
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:39,720
laughing for. That's not the. My bad. Like I don't say the word Indian burn anymore because that's

613
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:44,840
inappropriate. But now I don't know how to describe to my doctor how I injured my dick.

614
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:50,280
Like what do I say. I crisscross applesauce. Exactly. There should be a

615
00:59:53,880 --> 01:00:02,840
I did this. Yeah. What was that thing called the Bop it. I bop it. That's how I learned to master

616
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:08,600
baby. It's from the Bop. I tell a doctor I did a twist it on the Bop it twisted it on the Bop

617
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:13,640
supposed to Bop it and I twisted it. It's very important. Oh.

618
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:24,360
Do you remember that. They're trying to turn games. That was a fun game. Bop it. Bop it.

619
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:32,360
Twist it. Push it. Oh you fucked up. They're trying to get you ready to just conform. No.

620
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:38,680
I think they're direction. No. I think that they are trying to like teach you failure. How do you

621
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:46,120
past it. You know how to day. Like kind of like operation game operation. It does that if you

622
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:51,640
fuck up. I mean you got you got to learn consequences for your fucked up actions because

623
01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:56,760
otherwise you're just going to be some loser. All right. I got an idea for a movie for me is I

624
01:00:56,760 --> 01:01:02,520
love electricity. Did you guys see the lighthouse. Yeah. No. The lighthouse. No. So there's these

625
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:06,280
two guys are operating a lighthouse. They're all lonely and it went there's a scene where

626
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:11,720
he's got a little mermaid figurine and it's got boobs and he jacks off while he's touching the little

627
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:18,440
figurine because he's so lonely. He jerks off to the mermaid like. Wow really. Because they're

628
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:25,640
so isolated. Jesus. It's just him and another guy like sharing a bedroom. But you think he jacks

629
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:30,760
off and he's touching the mermaid. That's so dumb. I feel like you use my mind way better and just

630
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:35,080
do the same. It's very long too. But I guess we have anyway. I guess we have very good brains.

631
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:39,640
My idea for a movie is we remake that movie and in that scene instead he jerks off to the game

632
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:48,840
operation. He doesn't have any. He's just like it's like buzzing. He's like. I want to do. I've

633
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:55,400
always wanted to live in a luxury lighthouse. You know who like a rehab a lighthouse and make

634
01:01:55,400 --> 01:02:00,840
it like sick as fuck. That would be huge light and then beat off to two with a little bit of

635
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:08,840
it off to you know I have to beat off to the game. Guess who. All the people you think I

636
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:14,280
lose the operation operation. I beat off to monopoly. I'm touching the monopoly guy touching

637
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:19,960
the symbol pretending to boob. You would you would to like property stuff. You know that they

638
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:27,160
you know they actually modeled monopoly guy off of Michael Myers. Oh yeah. Like the media. Yeah.

639
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:33,000
Like the face though and stuff but not the rich part just like how he looks. Yeah they made it

640
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:39,160
like a rich Michael Myers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was actually I thought it was the Pringles guy when

641
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:44,840
he got older. It was the part. Well the Parker Parker brothers the guys brothers Parker brothers

642
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:50,120
started that whole thing. Nice to Pringles lonely podcast. Yeah sorry Paul Farrakhan that we had

643
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:57,080
to shut down your podcast but things happen. I was an outrage though. How there's so much outrage

644
01:02:57,080 --> 01:03:05,960
at the black little mermaid and I saw the exorcist recently and she's black now nothing. What. No one

645
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:11,560
no outrage or anything. Maybe it's because black people are like the last people who still believe

646
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:17,320
in God. Sorry. What was it. It was just like the exorcist is black now. Blacks are there is no

647
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:23,160
outrage comparison to the little mermaid. I think it's that's racist when you have what they're

648
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:28,360
going to make a black person look insane and crazy. Like that. Why are they trying to picture

649
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:35,400
black people like that. No but there's still a white exorcist girl. So yeah. What about sexer

650
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:45,080
cis. Oh yeah. So but this is about a child. Yeah but it's just but it's just about an

651
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:53,400
of age girl who just becomes a total freak in the sheets. And then and then she's a Catholic

652
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:58,920
family so they have to have to sexer size her. And so it's like a step thing. I don't know what

653
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:03,720
they do. Actually no her family. Yeah yeah. It's the same thing as exorcist but she's just having

654
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:08,680
a bunch of sex step mom and dad. What are you doing Dylan is actually Dylan told me he's a part of

655
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:18,120
gay sexer cis. Oh really. Yeah. Well are we. Are you OK with that going out on the free episode

656
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:24,280
to everybody. Yeah I'm actually really worried about it Mac because I was inherently anti Catholic.

657
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:32,440
Were you. Was your family religious at all. Yeah I was baptized I believe I did my first

658
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:36,840
communion. But did you have to go to church all the time because my family raised this Catholic

659
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:41,880
but we went to Catholic kindergarten 3th grade but we like my parents weren't like religious they

660
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:46,600
just wanted us to call them a CME Catholic. I got I got I got you just go on Christmas

661
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:52,200
Mother's Day in Easter you're a CME Catholic. I'm a fully vested Catholic. I did some of

662
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:58,280
the bullshit. Just you get confirmed. Yeah. I'm confirmed to hell yeah. What's your guys

663
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:04,600
is Saint names. Saint Pacifico of San Severo. What Saint Pacifico that's a beer. So I'm Mac.

664
01:05:05,320 --> 01:05:12,360
I'm Mac Pacifico never. That's a beer. Mark Pacifico. Import. So that's another that's

665
01:05:12,360 --> 01:05:15,880
another thing that shows that my life is a bit. This is when I was in eighth grade.

666
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:26,040
St. James Island St. James Island little St. James Island. Did not age well. Well no I think

667
01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:31,720
well I think that you knew that that was going to happen the whole St. James. I did have a prophecy.

668
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:36,920
Yeah. And that's why in the documentary the guy was like you know there's a nickname for that island

669
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:45,640
out here. We call it pedophile island. Isn't your St. Francis St. Francis. Nice. I like St.

670
01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:55,880
Francis Xavier. The Assisi was a town named after Dylan Assisi. Yeah. Assis male. Assisi. Yeah.

671
01:05:55,880 --> 01:06:01,720
Assis male. I've been thinking about doing a thing about rebranding our podcast. To what? Jerks.

672
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:07,880
Because we're jerks. We are jerks to me. Well no because we're jerks to everybody. It's one.

673
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:11,320
Well we're only mean to you because you wore that jerk necklace and we don't like that you're a

674
01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:15,960
jerk so we're being mean to you. No I like that you copied my chain. No we love the jerks because

675
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:23,720
what is it. Oh yeah. We love the jerks. We're not going to steal the name but it is more fitting

676
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:29,240
for us. And you and you kind of both are pretty good. What about the bad I'm just going to say

677
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:36,440
when it comes to the jerks no comments. Maybe say something nice. I can't say anything. Let's say

678
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:42,440
whenever I'm listening to just can't say anything about it when I go on YouTube and I see jerks

679
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:54,120
I hit off jerk off jerks off. I love the podcast. Jerk off. Yes. I love the pie. I jerk off to

680
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:59,160
Mark Karski. Yeah. Are you telling us you don't jerk off Dylan. You don't jerk off ever. And

681
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:04,360
can you see if Mark Karski will do reaction videos for our podcast. He's too busy making

682
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:10,760
$300 tips on streaming. No I understand he makes money. What's he doing. Only fans. No he's too

683
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:16,920
$300 tip. What. Yeah he got $300 tip the other day from a guy that wanted to bang him. That's

684
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:21,880
pretty cool man. It was from a lady and she said it was like for his like because he has a dog

685
01:07:21,880 --> 01:07:26,120
Instagram that's way more successful than mine. You should give us regular. What the fuck is that

686
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:30,920
about. You gotta keep giving us jerks updates. Yeah. Like that. Why is he called wine box. Or we

687
01:07:30,920 --> 01:07:35,880
could maybe even just Mark Karski updates. Why is he called wine box puppy. I think he said it

688
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:41,720
came to him when he was in Home Depot one day and I don't know he was just kind of thinking of a name

689
01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:47,320
and because I've drinking probably like based off Champagne Poppy. I've drinking a lot more along

690
01:07:47,320 --> 01:07:52,360
as Drake been Champagne. I've drinking a lot more boxes of wine than he has because we used to get

691
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:57,800
boxes of Franzia boxed wine which is like the shittiest type. Yeah. You take it out of the thing

692
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:04,600
it's a big bag. Yeah. It's hot. It's a big utter and then it's hot. Then you slap the bag and

693
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:08,040
yeah we used to do that. We got a bunch of when I lived I got the record of trucking the most.

694
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:13,080
I was trying the whole box. That's super cool. No way. That's so much. There's no way. I know it

695
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:17,560
wasn't but I was like dude that's so much. I was trucking for a long time because we got a we got

696
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:23,080
a my buddy worked at a bar. We all lived in this house and you got a bunch of expired Franzia

697
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:28,440
from the bar and we drank it for months and we'd get so sick every time and we just had them all

698
01:08:28,440 --> 01:08:33,080
in the bags. Like you said there was literally purple stains on the ceiling from people chugging

699
01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:39,480
everywhere and then you'd cough and spit wine on the ceiling. In the frat everywhere there was

700
01:08:39,480 --> 01:08:45,400
just a slap the baby or whatever. Red stains. Yeah. They call it slapping the baby or something.

701
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:52,840
Slap the bag. I remember. Slap in the bag man. Yeah. Never would slap the bag. I didn't get

702
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:55,960
that part because nothing would happen when you slapped it. No it's just something that's cool

703
01:08:55,960 --> 01:09:00,920
thing you do when you're done and it kind of makes it makes like a slap. Yeah. I know it's a thing.

704
01:09:00,920 --> 01:09:05,480
It's just like kind of like a ceremonial. We also used to shotgun beers and the rule is you had to

705
01:09:05,480 --> 01:09:10,120
stand on something when you shotgun beers but we shotgun like over and over again to we're all

706
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:15,560
hammered so by the end we'd just be like falling off a table. Yeah. We had one called just like

707
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:21,320
pass the bottle and we just all chug the bottle until well yeah that's what we used to do in like

708
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:25,560
eighth grade. Yeah that's what that's what you do. That's like a prerequisite to doing cooler stuff.

709
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:30,200
My dad owned a bar and they had softball and there's like a my dad owned a bar. Okay.

710
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:40,040
I miss her fancy. My friend party so hard. Go ahead. We had purple stains on the ceiling.

711
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:45,400
You guys are both really cool. Well they're reminiscent of Barney. Yeah sorry. We are

712
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:50,840
dads and own bars. Go ahead. Go ahead. Tell your daddy. He tells us. He's not even like that.

713
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:56,600
Barney. Yeah. That's cool. He's barred his softball team and there's one guy who would drink the whole

714
01:09:56,600 --> 01:10:03,800
bag. I thought men drank the whole bag. You'd kind of get off like go to the bleachers and just

715
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:11,400
chug some wine from the bag. So it wasn't as much of a team game in that respect but he finished

716
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:18,760
the bag. So it was you guys are really paying a lot of attention to me right now. I'm talking to

717
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:23,480
XL also. It's just wrong timing dude. No you're both talking to the guests at the same time.

718
01:10:23,480 --> 01:10:26,840
Well I'm talking to the guy that's going to call in we're actually doing productive product. So

719
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:31,720
it's cool. No offense. No offense. Okay. Well I don't mind if you're a little offended by me.

720
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:36,440
Yeah. Well anyways what'd you guys do at the bar. So yeah maybe a quicker version.

721
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:40,920
No I'm not going to do a five minute monologue about something. Could you tell us more about

722
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:46,040
how your dad owned a bar though. What was that like. It's also the comedy office. The

723
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:51,240
likes comedy office or something. What was it. What was that comedy office that Sam was getting

724
01:10:51,240 --> 01:11:00,680
upset about. Yeah. That's it. Fort Wayne Fort Wayne let's comedy. Let's comedy. He's also the

725
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:06,840
let's comedy office. I slept on the floor there twice. Did you stop. Need stitches there too.

726
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:09,960
Can you let him tell the story about the let's comedy office. Yeah go ahead.

727
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:15,400
Don't take it away. Let's comedy office. So let's comedy. He was going in there saying let's do

728
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:22,520
comedy. He saw that they had a menu and so he just started ordering. Yeah. And so much.

729
01:11:22,520 --> 01:11:27,640
He that was his story. You should see Sam order at a restaurant. He goes I'll take page one and

730
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:38,120
page two. No that's your return. My return. Oh I used to do this thing where I did all the time

731
01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:45,480
like every beer I drank. I would break it open on my head and then yeah. The glass. Oh nice.

732
01:11:45,480 --> 01:11:48,200
So you just hit it a bunch of times in your head and breaks open and then you

733
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:54,200
they called you box head. I did. So last week and we're very hard to get my head on the floor.

734
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:59,960
Yeah. I smashed my head against the floor and I got blood everywhere. I do this cool cool thing

735
01:11:59,960 --> 01:12:04,840
at Clio's where I stand on my head for an extended period of time. Everyone's everyone's clapping

736
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:09,720
and like break dancing. It's Arab guys. You spin. I don't spin. Oh you got a spin on your head.

737
01:12:09,720 --> 01:12:17,480
Dude that's the shit. I've been trying to learn the spinning part. I want that. Also the beanie

738
01:12:17,480 --> 01:12:23,000
helps because most people wear beanies for spinning on your head. Oh really. Wow. That's

739
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:30,520
a that might be that might be your art. Yeah. Now that we know that because you went to art school

740
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:36,200
too because you thought you were artistic. I just have to go back to the E.R. I'm like I ripped out

741
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:41,160
all the staples in my head. I was doing break dancing. Spot on my head was staples in it.

742
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:46,520
Do you think that actually I have a real question. The staples they put in your head are they

743
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:51,720
they're not metal right. They're like just some kind of like suture that goes away.

744
01:12:51,720 --> 01:12:54,840
No I have to go get them removed. Oh you do. I think they're real staples.

745
01:12:55,880 --> 01:12:59,800
They didn't go off in the airport metal detector. Do they just go to staples. Do you think to get

746
01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:03,960
them. Yeah I'm pretty sure I just go to staples and then they pull them out and then they go that

747
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:09,960
was easy. Yeah and they have the button. That was easy. Yeah you have the button. I really had to

748
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:14,680
resist making that joke to the doctor somewhere stapled my head. I really wanted to make a that

749
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:20,200
was easy joke but it felt too hacky Dylan. Too easy. Too easy. I feel like we've been going a

750
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:24,840
little hard on you this episode. However I bought a new cylinder of smelling salts.

751
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:29,400
Okay let's break them. We got like an abusive relationship with Dylan where we're mean to

752
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:34,680
him and then we buy him gifts to win him back. I'll crack it open once this one's over. How long

753
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:40,840
have we done. Yeah we've done we got over. We did an hour 13. Okay we could end the time also Alex

754
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:48,120
is running late. Well let's end so we can do smelling salts and we can maybe talk about

755
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:52,200
we can talk about our live show coming up January 10th. Well how many podcasts live.

756
01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:56,440
You wait hold on Dylan said during this break we're going to win but we'll have to win back

757
01:13:56,440 --> 01:14:00,600
his friendship. Yeah. No you have to win back our friendship. Yeah I think it's the other way around

758
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:07,800
buddy. Why. Because that's what we say. Yeah because it's my house. Yeah Max house Max rules.

759
01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:14,920
My rule. Yeah guys we're gonna have a live comedy show in January at the comedy bar. I gotta make

760
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:20,360
sure it's not this one weekend. Wait what. It's not it's his weekday. Okay good because I'll be

761
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:24,200
out of town in a weekend. I think it's a Wednesday. I'm going to Florida for a weekend in January.

762
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:33,240
That's cool. So when that guys go to that this is very important for us and it's going to be

763
01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:39,000
awesome. We're gonna we're gonna be spending every waking moment from now until then to making the

764
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:45,480
most fun event that includes the best podcasting in the world stand up comedy. It's going to be

765
01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:50,840
something something to behold. Your eyes will be behold behold it. You'll be beholden to it.

766
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:55,960
It'll be part of our community. Yeah it'll become a baddie. I don't even show is coming up.

767
01:14:55,960 --> 01:15:05,240
Anything you want to plug. I'll be at Zany's on the 28th Avenue showcase on Tuesday 9 15 Zany

768
01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:15,720
Chicago baby for you it's more like show gaze I feel like right. Okay. Oh how about how about Katie's

769
01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:22,040
Annie's. She posted the other day and I thought she was maybe talking about you because she said

770
01:15:22,040 --> 01:15:26,360
like he doesn't hate me or something but it was like right after Bailey and then I was I don't

771
01:15:26,360 --> 01:15:32,840
maybe she thinks I do hate her. I know my god she I was going to talk about on the next podcast

772
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:37,400
because I'm worried she's mentally ill and going to hear this somehow and then like come and bother

773
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:45,480
me. Whoever knows about this. I'm cool. I think that we're cool with just Mr. Tano now.

774
01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:51,320
All right. No but no I remember I mean yeah she's so hot and cold so yeah I bet we are

775
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:57,240
and then tomorrow she'll block us. I mean yeah she's nuts whatever. Yeah she I mean I love

776
01:15:57,240 --> 01:16:02,200
Jess. I think Jess is funny. I love her as a person. I think she's cool. I feel bad that she has some

777
01:16:02,200 --> 01:16:07,080
brain problem where she gets really mad at us for no reason all the time. Come on. It's true.

778
01:16:07,080 --> 01:16:12,120
It's whatever. I don't know. Is it for no reason. No we love. I hope she hears this. I love you Jess.

779
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:16,920
I think you deserve love in your life and all that. She's also got a tour coming up with like

780
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:23,000
Nashville too. It's good for her. She's very funny. She deserves all her success. I told her at

781
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:29,560
at Beer Belly. It was two weeks three weeks ago maybe. I said you're looking great. I hope that

782
01:16:29,560 --> 01:16:35,160
she gets successful enough. She is looking that she can go to therapy. She lost. She lost weight.

783
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:40,760
She's looking. She's looking good. Using corner. All right. Jason. I'm going to talk about next

784
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:45,400
time. Jason and the album's coming up. I do want to record a new album. Maybe I'll do it

785
01:16:45,400 --> 01:16:52,200
November 11th, 2022. Yeah, you should. Yeah. And then I'll release it. I'll go to it.

786
01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:58,440
10th, 2023. I'll go to that one. You should go to it. You should do a sketch with me at the

787
01:16:58,440 --> 01:17:02,760
end where you guys are cops. Yeah. Okay. Do you guys still have those cop outfits? Yes. They were

788
01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:08,520
kind of nice. Yeah, I kept it. We should do more. We should do more cop stuff. Yeah. With those. Yeah.

789
01:17:08,520 --> 01:17:13,080
We should. We should go. False arrest people. False arrest people. I was going to say that.

790
01:17:13,080 --> 01:17:17,320
We should drive around and like you're under arrest. Yeah. No one's going to believe your car is a

791
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:22,600
cop car like the like those two brothers who would strangle people in California. You could just

792
01:17:22,600 --> 01:17:29,160
impersonate a police officer. We should be careful. We do a lot of those killers that do it. Yeah.

793
01:17:29,160 --> 01:17:32,920
Do I mean, it'd be funny to like have like a sign on your car that says cop car and then

794
01:17:32,920 --> 01:17:40,120
it's like it's like definition impersonating a cop. Yeah. It's a parody underneath. Yeah.

795
01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:45,160
Yeah. Yeah. It's just like a white piece of paper. This is cop car and permanent market car in

796
01:17:45,160 --> 01:17:52,440
parentheses. We're shooting a movie. Yeah. All right. Folks, I have no shows coming up. I think

797
01:17:52,440 --> 01:18:00,120
okay. I myself to Mac Nipper. I'll be a whatever. I finished my toughest test. I finished my toughest

798
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:04,760
stop. Hey, I passed my exam guys. Congrats, dude. Yeah, I can't wait for you to stop doing the exams

799
01:18:04,760 --> 01:18:08,440
and start doing comedy. Yeah, I'll be back. Well, a lot of people are happy that I haven't been

800
01:18:08,440 --> 01:18:12,440
doing comedy. Yeah, I mean, everyone hates you. But I like it when you're around because you make

801
01:18:12,440 --> 01:18:19,320
everyone I hate mad. But it's yeah. But Bobby Buds. I was like, I had for Mitchell Potts's

802
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:22,680
birthday or something. There was like a thing and I was like, sorry, I couldn't make a birthday

803
01:18:22,680 --> 01:18:28,200
Mitchell. And then Bobby Buds said, that's the best gift you could have given is not coming.

804
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:35,960
And I said, shut up, baby balls. Oh, baby balls classic. Then I hung out with him Thursday night

805
01:18:35,960 --> 01:18:41,080
him and John Bradley. Yeah, I saw him last night. Yeah. All right, power over. But

806
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:47,400
we guys been talking shit about the most recently. That's how he talks. Well, you guys been talking

807
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:53,880
about a lot of like, I was like, honestly, you right now. We know, we know you're rich, Bobby,

808
01:18:53,880 --> 01:18:58,600
and then rich little rich kid pretending to be like I got some working class. I got some tea on

809
01:18:58,600 --> 01:19:03,960
John Bradley. We'll talk about on Patreon and Bradley. I would never pretend to be working class.

810
01:19:03,960 --> 01:19:09,480
I'm either working or rich. I also pretend to be rich. You're not supposed to pretend to be poor.

811
01:19:09,480 --> 01:19:14,120
That's ridiculous. Yeah, guys, our favorite look stupid. Our favorite guest is coming back on

812
01:19:16,440 --> 01:19:22,840
this week's Patreon on Tuesday. There'll be I mean, we record each episode each different day,

813
01:19:22,840 --> 01:19:28,520
you know, yeah, only on Patreon. Our favorite guest of all time. I mean, I'm gonna say who it is

814
01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:35,560
is coming on on Tuesday. So stay tuned for that. Patreon.com slash bad comedy. Go to Cool

815
01:19:35,560 --> 01:19:41,480
Steeper Club for the best tea ever made. Bad comedy is the promo code. Put it in there. Get

816
01:19:41,480 --> 01:19:49,320
like 100% off or something. And guest is going to be the cool Sam talent. He's a yeah, a little

817
01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:54,280
favorite gas of all time. Thank God it's not Sam talent. It's the cool version of Sam talent.

818
01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:58,600
J.K. Yeah, I wish dude.

819
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:03,320
And anything else you guys need to say before we close out?

820
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:11,080
Thank you for having me on. Oh, yeah, thanks for coming on. Thanks for having me on. Thanks for

821
01:20:11,080 --> 01:20:19,480
coming on. And then folks, we'll catch you in the toilet in the toilet or when the moon hits

822
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:24,040
this guy. That's probably the best. Yeah, folks, we'll catch you in the rockin in the free world. Hey,

823
01:20:24,040 --> 01:20:31,320
folks, keep on rocking in the free world and free and have a nice day. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

824
01:20:31,320 --> 01:20:49,080
Hey, hey, hey, hey. That was a great song. Yeah. Was it intro V by intro V.