All right, welcome to the AdaptX podcast
where we have conversations
with people building accessible businesses,
advocating for inclusion or excelling in adaptive sports.
Our intentions never just speak on behalf
of those with disabilities,
but to provide a platform to amplify their voice
and share their stories.
Today I'm joined by Dennis Murphy.
Dennis has been training with us here at Unified
for a little over a year,
but I've known Dennis for about 15.
His nephew, Zach, maybe more so than anyone else,
influenced the career path that I chose.
He's the first athlete that I worked with at Special Olympics.
But today we're here to talk about Dennis's recovery
over the last two years, what he has learned
and what we hope others will take away from this episode.
So Dennis, thank you.
So maybe take us back before the stroke.
So your stroke was a little over two years ago,
but before that, what recreation, what sports,
what athletic pursuits did you find the most joy in?
I used to ride my bike.
He used to swim every single day.
He used to swim two months, a little over an hour.
And then he used to ride my bike at night,
early mornings.
So those activities have guided a lot of the things
that we've worked on in the gym,
as well as the goals that he wants to get back to.
But we try, I mean, we don't want to bury the lead.
So a little over two years ago,
do you want to tell us a bit about the stroke?
Sure, sure.
Two weeks before this, who's the next thing that happened?
And two weeks before we're leading up the stroke,
it was a wicked, bad headache, incredibly bad headache.
And I went to the doctor Thursday and he said,
just cut down a little bit on your,
and you know, I need to reboot this.
Ops, what do they call it?
They didn't go to the greenhouse.
Oh, like a sinus, clearly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they called something.
Oh, okay, I'm not sure.
Anyhow, so anyhow,
they told me to be careful and clean out my pups.
Do it every other day instead of every day.
That's fine.
So that was Thursday morning,
and then Friday went for bike ride.
And Saturday night, I sat up, excuse me,
Saturday went for bike ride,
and Saturday night it was wicked, bad headache,
wicked, bad headache.
So my wife took me to the hospital
and they checked me out until two o'clock in the morning
and said, we can't find anything wrong.
You know, you're fine enough to go home.
And anyhow, I got home.
Next morning I woke up a little late,
woke up around nine o'clock,
because it's a short clock in the morning,
and went down the end of my drive-by,
which was two caroling songs,
came back up the front stairs,
and that's it, I just broke right then.
And what do you remember from that experience?
I remember a couple things.
I remember waking up and saying,
what is the wrong with me?
Well, first of all,
what are those people doing around me?
You know?
And, you know, I couldn't move my right side.
I couldn't say anything,
but on that, I don't remember too much other than that.
Do you know how long the period was between
when you had the stroke and when you woke up?
Well, I never really went to sleep.
I never really passed up right then.
I just kind of was in a daze, like stayed from there.
And I would say from there until the total end,
until the total operation happens,
all that, I'd say it's probably seven hours,
eight hours, something like that.
There's common symptoms of stroke.
Did you notice anything outside of that bad headache?
No, I remember this, I could not see my knee at all, period.
Yeah, about leading up to it,
there was no other symptoms that would have,
I guess especially if you had already gone
and got checked out, they would have identified those things.
So that really, I guess shows you
that can really happen out of the blue as well.
Yeah, out of the blue.
Mine happened because basically I had a cut
in my carotid somehow.
The thing was due to an injury, I think I either
hit something on my bike or did something else
where I could write, I call it a paper cut,
but it's not a paper cut, I was a paper cut up here,
and that's caused a stroke to happen.
So they figured that happens about 10 days to two weeks
before the actual stroke happens.
Okay, can you articulate what that's like
when you wake up and you're consciously aware
of what's going on, but you're unable to speak?
Yeah, it's very frustrating.
It is frustrating.
That's just ahead, but I can say the first times here
as you're in the gym, people I know,
I just, uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah, I remember that.
And I remember just thinking like,
oh, he must be overwhelmed by all these people
who know who you are, but you don't necessarily,
I mean, you probably wouldn't even know who all of them are.
Even without the stroke, these are people
that you've probably seen only a handful of times.
So I remember trying to squel that a little bit
just so it wasn't overwhelming,
but I know you like being able to say hi
and talk to the people in the gym,
so it's not too much of a pressure.
They can say anything, you know, it's not.
How long did it take the language to come back to?
I would say six months, maybe, the most.
Maybe say a few words, I don't know if I forget,
but when I was in the hospital,
the doctor came around and all our attendings with her
and had said, how can I say a word?
I couldn't and said, something happened right there.
I think, ah, I couldn't say, well, so I just couldn't say
because that's something that I know how to do.
You know, it didn't matter.
So that was kind of technically the first thing
you were able to say?
That's interesting, yeah, okay.
And then you get right into speech and language.
What was that inpatient, or your S-balding?
What was the inpatient process like?
Okay.
You know, every day we'd go around this,
I call it a boardroom table, but we all sit in a circle
and the lead personally is called occupational therapist,
Chaucerba, Chaucerba like a beach ball,
not a beach ball, but like a golf ball.
And you have to catch it,
you have to say what your name was, what happened to you.
Honestly, I cannot say my name is Dennis Murphy.
I tried, I tried, I tried, I could not say it.
So.
Yeah, well, it's not a matter of trying.
It's not like you can just like try harder.
It's the disconnect.
So what do you think was most effective
in helping you get your language back?
Just repetition?
Yeah, I would say happen more when I get home.
My wife had this awesome, awesome game called go fish,
where you go fish tight with letters.
You should call it a G for example and say,
is this a R?
I'd say, you know, so that's how she got me
to work as letters.
So yeah.
Was it frustrating that that is kind of an elementary task
and like how, how much more frustrating does it make it?
It makes it very frustrating.
Yeah.
Because you, I don't know if everyone else in the hospital,
like I said before, you know, they asked me what my name was
and I asked everyone what their name was.
I couldn't say my name.
Yeah.
That made it very frustrating.
Yeah.
So now you're about two years post stroke.
The language is mostly back.
You have trouble with like what aspects of speaking?
Sometimes you get confused
but sometimes you can't see the words from Toronto State.
That caused me some frustration, but you know, whatever.
Yeah.
So kind of like all that words on the tip of my tongue,
I just can't like retrieve it.
So some language retrieval.
But comprehension wise, like receptive language,
still pretty strong.
Yeah.
Writing wise.
I can write.
See my right side of my body is fully affected.
So my right side of my body couldn't do anything there
for, because I'm right-handed or, you know,
I can't really write, but I can type,
I can do things like that.
My writing is okay.
It would say it's great, but you know,
it's enough to, people understand what I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
So you were, you've always been in the insurance world.
So that's occupation.
So what has it been like going back to work?
I guess what are the biggest challenges
and what things have you learned
that have helped you continue to work?
Yeah.
Fortunately, the people there know me,
didn't know that I do anything for them.
So therefore they give me a lot of extra credit or whatever.
I really, I see certain customers that know me,
but I'm not seeing anybody that doesn't know me
because I don't want to go out there
and I'm just gonna make a fool of myself,
because that's not true.
But maybe it will go, I don't know what I'm doing.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah, I mean, there's definitely a stigma,
I guess, associated with that.
Right.
But yeah, I mean, I guess the more,
the more you're out there,
the more people will understand.
And you're still able to do your job
in the same way that in some ways.
Yeah, I would say, I'm not as good as they used to be,
but I can do it a little bit, I can do it okay.
During the inpatient stay at Spalding,
do you recall about how long you were there?
Four weeks.
We can mess around four weeks at Spalding.
Okay.
And then when you got home,
what was the continuation of care like?
They had people come to my house,
they had occupational therapists,
the speech therapist and physical therapist
comes to my house.
Those guys are there until the middle of August.
Okay.
And you're getting therapy every day.
Do you know, can you speak much on like the importance
of recovery in the first few months?
Did they talk to you about like,
how important that was in terms of how much progress
you'll make overall?
Definitely.
So that was very important.
And excuse me, the strident with that, the better it be.
So in other words, come out of the games running.
Yeah.
And it's two years later, but you're still,
I mean, your therapy schedule is still pretty consistent
and thorough.
Do you want to take us through maybe
what like a week looks like?
Sure.
I get up Monday morning,
it's at, it's therapy, it's at nine o'clock.
From there, I go to the pool.
From there, it takes an hour to go to work.
I still don't have a speech in the afternoon,
in general, three o'clock.
Tuesdays, I come here, they go to the pool,
then I go to work.
Wednesdays, as physical therapy,
then I go to work, or I go to the pool as well,
then I go to work.
And Friday, Thursdays rather,
I come here and then I go to the pool,
and I work after that.
And then Friday, as a physical therapy,
in the late afternoon, because when you talk to your walk,
and if you guys have heard that before,
talk to your walk, you walk around the track.
So, they're on a pond,
and you have a speech therapist with you.
Yeah, she'll ask various questions,
but you have to make sure you don't trip.
So, therefore, she is asking,
what do you see for movies, or what is this?
And into those, but you also can't trip,
because you can't be focusing that much on your,
on your foot, on your feet,
that you're not really paying attention.
So, therapy every day,
and then every so often you meet with a group
at UMass, right, for more speech.
Yep, and with the group at UMass,
and you also meet with the people at Spalving.
So, those are once a month.
For people supporting a family member, a friend,
a post injury, or a post accident, or a post stroke,
what advice could you give?
So, maybe it's a loved one, a son or a daughter.
What, I guess, what advice could you give
to someone who's supporting someone in your situation?
I would say, be kind, and let them lead the way.
In other words, because so many people
who've been to my house and started yacking at me,
like they're very, very person-wood,
and I'm like, no, no, no, he can't understand you,
just slow it down, slow it down.
Then he started slow, and then she drew it up again,
and all of a sudden it, go right over my head.
So, I would say, let the person who suffered,
who suffered whatever it was, let them lead the way.
Yeah, and also maybe lead the way in terms of
deciding what's important to them
and what they wanna work on.
So, no one knows your goals better than you,
and no one knows your day-to-day life better than you.
So, I guess having P-T-O-T fitness, whatever it is,
tailored to those goals,
I think it's been pretty important, right?
So, I mean, that's work, we're working on right now,
is giving back swimming, which I can do every day now.
They're also giving back to right of my bike.
And I'm not quite there, but I'm getting there.
Yeah, you say you're not quite there.
So, I know it's frustrating, I mean, it must be frustrating
being a competitive athlete before the accident,
and then now trying to compare to what you were before.
So, have you had to kind of readjust,
I guess, your perspective, or what swimming is to you,
or what biking is to you?
No question, it's, you know,
it is very humbling to look at what we can do today,
versus what you can't do.
Yeah, yeah, but at the end of the day,
I guess there's a lot of benefits from those activities
that go beyond just the paces that you perform them at.
No question.
So, being able to keep them as part of a routine,
I guess would be really important.
One thing for me too is riding my bike through the woods,
not like mountain biking, just riding through the woods,
excuse me, riding through the woods,
because that makes me sense of calm.
Yeah.
Not the very, whatever.
Yeah, I mean, nature, yeah, I mean, nature,
nature definitely has a calming presence on everyone,
that's well supported.
Yeah.
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or the link in the show notes below.
Yeah, so I guess what could you maybe share with the audience
as to the importance of fitness
and the importance of recreation in your recovery process
and in your mental health?
So I can say this, first time we were down,
remember when children were down at the boardroom,
every day they'd go around and say,
what were the first words that came to your mind
as soon as you, soon to do, or recovery,
as soon as you could speak,
as soon as you could think by yourself.
Everybody said words like, I was scared,
exemplary as happened to me, why me, all those.
I said I'm determined, you know,
because I need to get out and do the things that I used to do,
those do require a lot of interpretation.
So, you know, that's why I think athletics
has been extremely important to me and, you know,
it's worked out.
Yeah, because everything you do now
takes that much more effort.
I mean, I see you coming into the gym in the winter,
getting your coat on, changing your shoes, et cetera.
And just, I guess, giving yourself the grace
to take a little longer and not be frustrated with yourself.
I can't even imagine how emotionally taxing it is
to take longer to do all this.
You know, hey, at least it's something.
Yeah.
I like it this way, at least in my, you know,
because when I was in the hospital, I couldn't do anything,
especially when I was at the master,
I couldn't do anything.
And I learned to do it all over again.
Yeah, had to learn to do it all over again.
And put it in a lot of work, though.
It's not like it just happened by accident.
Kind of earned everything that you've gotten back
and continue to get back.
Some of the assistive tech that you use,
just want to cover some of those things, I guess.
So, I know when you do our 5K, you use your walking cane,
but don't use that too frequently, right?
Yeah, only on, maybe on even terrain or longer.
Exactly, so when I get to the saddle of my leg
and stairs go downhill, and I use it there,
and to keep it in the back of my car, you know,
or if I get out, it's a little rough, I use that.
And for people who might not be familiar with it,
maybe we'll just introduce the bio-nest, I guess.
So, I don't even have to show it necessarily,
but maybe for those that are just listening,
it's a little bit, looks like an armband
that's wrapped around, then this is calf,
and it syncs to your phone,
and on your phone, you adjust.
Exactly.
What type of activity you're doing.
Yes, there's running, there's lifting weights,
and there is just regular exercise of the leg,
and I use it for walking.
So basically what happens is my legs,
everybody's legs go with the,
with the palm of their foot down,
the bottom of their foot down,
mine goes to the side.
This causes the muscles down my,
the right part of my thigh,
the right part of my shin to react as it goes,
thighs forward, so it goes every day forward.
Yeah, so the bio-nest is working the ankle
in a way that it should be already performing,
but because of the stroke,
it doesn't function in the same way,
so, and it's a self-correcting piece, right?
Like it learns your gait,
It does.
And then responds accordingly, so.
Yeah, it's definitely something about that though,
I'll never forget, as a pool one day,
just get my butt back,
that's maybe two months before,
after the pool one day, go in the water, I was like.
But it's still on?
Yes, and that's fine.
Like you came to the gym and you're like,
the bio-nest is still wet.
Yeah, so you have to take that off.
Do you need anything for swimming
or are you just able to do it?
Yeah, I mean, it's too bad
because it can't really run over to the water like you used to.
Yeah.
And after like,
like,
it effects one side of the body.
So for you,
it's your right side,
everything from your arm to your leg and,
limited in your overhead mobility,
and then limited in your dexterity
with your hands and your feet,
right.
So,
so for the gym,
we've just,
I guess,
picked exercises that match
or those specific ranges you are able to get into.
And I typically use those activities
of swimming and biking as a guide
for the exercises we choose.
So we kind of break down both of those activities
into their component parts.
So for biking, it's not just your cardio,
it's your ability to swing your leg over the stem
of the bike and mount the bike, balance on the bike.
So there's a lot of course stability in that,
keeping the foot on the pedal even as a challenge.
And then with swimming, we try to work some overhead
mobility with like the skier and our presses and our poles,
just to give you the strength in those ranges
to hopefully carry over to your swimming.
It's funny too, because you talk about strength,
just like, you know, it's just like, it's a whatever,
like an orthopedic injury, but it's not.
Because the first time I went back to the,
the first time I went back to the doctor, excuse me,
I asked her a million questions,
they could barely speak, you know,
everybody could speak a little bit.
And she kept saying, hang on, ask her, wait,
ask her, wait, ask her, wait, my wife said, awesome.
But I said, I want to hear from you.
She said, hold on, let me show you a picture
of what your brain looked like that day.
Honest to God, the left-sided brain was all
destroyed because of stroke.
And that was really kind of alarming to me,
because that's, you know,
those brain cells are not going back.
So that's, as alarming as that was the time,
it's been more so recently,
because now I'm like, okay, these cells aren't coming back.
Like my leg, for example,
goes this way because I'm a bio-nosed,
but I'm trying to get it to go that way normally.
But it will go that way.
It at least hasn't gone that way yet.
So I think that's gonna be forever.
Yeah.
That's one of the questions that's always been hard
that you've asked me is like,
when is the fuck gonna come back?
Or when am I gonna be able to do this or that?
And there's really no way of knowing.
I mean, all strokes present differently,
depending on where the location was in the brain,
and the severity of it.
And yeah, so it's tough to know,
but I guess all we can do is work with what you currently have
and keep kind of pushing the boundaries
of what you can't do in a safe way.
Kind of keep you working towards those goals.
Yeah, I guess maybe in terms of goals,
what on the horizon are you hoping to maybe be able
to accomplish any long-term or short-term objectives?
What makes the right bike for us the country?
I've never done this before, but I didn't even,
I can't even ride my bike down a block or a cash.
I'm hoping one day, we'll do that,
especially as I get closer to 60, a couple of years,
hoping to be able to do that sometimes right now,
at some 65.
You didn't really mention it before.
So goal to ride the bike across the US.
That's right.
Would you want to do it on an adaptive bike
or do you just want to do it on an upright bike?
Yeah, I'm thinking of an upright bike.
So yeah.
Do you have a resistance to doing it on something
that would be easier?
I shouldn't say easier, not necessarily easier,
but if, say for example, balance is a limiting factor,
it's not your leg strength,
it's not your cardiovascular health
using an adaptive recumbent bike.
Yeah, I mean, something like that, I guess would be okay,
but I remember riding my bike for 40 years, you know?
And I really look at it as two wheels and that's it.
So three wheels, so I have an adaptive bike at home
that has electronic assist.
I don't really use that.
I can use that anywhere I want to right now,
but it's, I don't know, I don't really enjoy it.
Yeah, I enjoy it as much.
Yeah, I mean, it's probably getting back to like,
you probably have some sort of resentment
towards the stroke taking away that activity
you really loved and you want to get back
to doing it as you were before.
But kind of like we talked about, I guess,
just reacclimating to a new normal or a new standard,
the recumbent bike isn't necessarily a lesser option.
It's just a different option, different position.
And then swimming, just want to get back to being able
to do that consistently faster, further.
In the same way that most people just want to be able
to run faster, run further, or swim faster, swim further.
So, for me, it's just more about both bike riding
and swimming are more about,
I don't say bring a tongue, it's not a hyper person,
but you know, bringing a sense of normalcy to my life.
Yeah.
That's how you go about both those activities.
Yeah, and you've commented on how the gym is kind of good
in that way as well, just like the community piece of it.
It's one thing we've talked about and written about,
I'm not a physical therapist,
don't pretend to do what an impatient place like Spalding
does, but I think maybe one thing that we might do
or have an advantage over a place like Spalding
is just the normalcy and the reacclimation
into the community.
Like you said before, all of our members say hi to you,
they're all eager to see you,
and they all knew you before your stroke,
and they still are here after your stroke.
So, maybe without seeming like I'm just trying
to draw compliments out of you,
like what has the gym experience been like, I guess?
It's been great.
It has been a forum
where as good as I can anywhere else, you know,
so in other words, when I'm here,
I feel like a normal person.
It's really important to me.
Yeah.
And I guess that just goes to show
it's something we've talked about on this,
how you don't need a specialized adaptive facility
to start supporting people.
That's right.
Post-injury or with disabilities,
just kind of need to create the environment
and provide the necessary support
to get them successful in the gym.
So, our facility just looks like any other gym.
It just might be kind of the approach
that we take is a little different.
Right.
But you have your program in the same way
that all the other guys and women training
have their programs, and myself, Joey, Angelina,
and Kyle, various coaches are coaching you
in the same way that we're coaching our other clients.
And I think that's always been a priority of ours
is just to treat everyone the same way, I guess.
Right.
So.
Which is good because...
You don't want to be treated differently on anyone.
You know, so yesterday, I had a couple of people
over my house, they said,
you need any help cooking dinner.
I said, no, because I can do that.
Because in other words, there's so many things
I can't do right now,
but things I can do, I want to do myself.
Not that they don't want to help,
but I've got to take credit for myself.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
That kind of goes to, I guess, maybe disability etiquette.
Is there anything that people do that is most frustrating?
Well, we see as a wedding, a bunch of,
particularly the older people,
can't work, can't grab my arm.
Oh, are you okay?
Yeah.
You're like, just grab your arm back?
You're like, now I'm not okay
because you're grabbing my arm, yeah.
Exactly.
So, but, you know, I don't know,
I think if a person has a true disability,
you know, they'll reach out and they need help,
you know, the same way I am, you know,
every time I need help, I say,
can you go over and help me?
Yeah.
So it's not assuming, I guess it's not assuming
that you want help that's waiting for you to initiate it
or even just asking.
I mean, I find myself even in the gym,
like I could run over and grab you that med ball,
but do you really need me to grab it for you?
Like now?
Yeah.
And so like it's, it's always in the back of my mind,
like I want to be helping, I want to jump over,
but I don't want to do it in a way that's like patronizing.
Like I know what you can do and what you need help with,
and I'm going to intervene when you need help
and I'm going to leave you to be independent
when you don't need help.
So, yeah, I guess that's one thing.
I think disability etiquette and speaking to someone
with a disability is one thing
that a lot of people have trouble with.
I gotta tell you, I don't really,
it's not myself to say it.
Right, yeah.
So, I do think you can do, I can do.
Yeah.
And that was quick, that was fluent,
but I can do whatever you can do.
Do you find people talking to you differently now?
Sometimes people talk to you differently,
especially when, you know, right now I can't speak, right?
I can speak, but that was the one that could.
And people hear that like, oh, hey.
Yeah, yeah.
I just talked to me in a regular tone, yeah.
Yeah, that's like people default to either a higher inflection,
like they're speaking to a child,
or they default to like a really slow or even loud.
Sometimes I see some people that are like talking louder
to people like it's going to help them understand
if they like scream at them.
Yeah, so I guess the takeaway is just to treat you,
talk to you, interact with you like you were before,
but then also understand that maybe you need time
to recall words.
I always try not to finish your sentences
if I don't need to, I try to let you find the words.
But I mean, it's something where it's different
for everyone, I guess.
It is, I gotta say for me, I like people who,
I shouldn't say like people, because I like everyone.
I only like people.
I like people who let me do what I, you know,
let me do as much as they can do.
Yeah.
You know, that's really important.
Let you struggle when you're kind of working through things
and not just intervene immediately.
What is one thing or one piece of advice
that you could give to someone,
maybe if they've just had a stroke
or they've just experienced disability in some way,
maybe it's a spinal cord injury
or even just a smaller setback.
You're two years into it, you know what it's been like,
you know, let's take and to get to where you are now.
Do you have any pieces of advice that you'd give
to someone who's maybe just going through this process?
Just do it every day.
Every day, I don't care what it is,
whatever it is, but every single day,
you have to get up and say words, say words.
You have to get up and exercise, exercise.
I look at myself right now, I'm like,
wow, I've got all that, I've caught most of the last two years,
but I started doing little things every single day,
you know, little things every single day.
So I tell everybody out there,
you have to bring it back, split forward.
Yeah, consistency compounds over time,
just being consistent with the PT and the OT
and the language.
Sometimes I guess progress is just not going backwards
sometimes too, maintaining your ability,
maintaining your functional ability, your fitness.
Sometimes people are so eager to see tangible progress
that they don't realize that sometimes
just maintaining where they're at or moving along slowly,
it still can be progress.
Right, but it's kind of weird
so I don't want to make myself sound old,
but also as I progress on my fitness,
I'm also getting a little older every day,
I'm almost 60 years old,
so therefore at some point my age is going to take over,
but hopefully that's soon.
Yeah, that's where you sometimes ask me
about your ability to swim or your ability to bike,
and I'm always like, well, not everyone who's in their late 50s
can do these things to begin with.
So I know you've regressed in some ways because of the stroke,
but you're still in some ways healthier than a lot of people your age.
You still have your job, you still have all your recreation activities,
you're still able to do things with your family,
so yeah, I guess perspective can be tough when you're in it,
but trying to kind of zoom out and seeing everything
you're still able to do and accomplish.
That's exactly the point, sometimes you get so dead,
and you just take it down,
but sometimes you get so consumed with what I can't do,
that gets to me, but that I can say, look at how I can do,
all that makes me feel better.
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, Dennis, thank you.
I'm glad we finally were able to record,
and we've been talking about this for a while,
so I look forward to sharing it,
and we'll include some links in the show notes about stroke
so people can learn a little more about it,
as well as maybe some of the resources that you already use,
like Spalding, some of those organizations,
that have been really impactful in your recovery,
so we'll include some links to those in the show notes,
but we'll be releasing this in the next week or so,
and look forward to sharing it.
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