1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000 This is RetroSports Radio. Visit RetroSeasons.com for more sports history. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:11,000 Now who can that be? Come in. 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,000 Pardon me for disturbing you, Mr. Benny, but may I have your autograph? 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,000 Certainly. Certainly. Who shall I make it out to? 5 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:36,000 Bob Feller. Bob Feller! 6 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,000 Well, Bob Feller, it's certainly a pleasure having you drop into see me. 7 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:46,000 Well, Jack, when I saw your name in front of the theater, I just couldn't walk right on by like everybody else. 8 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:54,000 Oh, you mean you bought a ticket and saw my stage, though? 9 00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:01,000 I sure did, Jack. I thought you saw me. When you took a bow, you knocked a bag of popcorn out of my hand with your eyelashes. 10 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:06,000 Oh, I'm sorry. Well, let me wipe the chicken fat off your sleeve. 11 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:12,000 Well, Bob, you're still with the Cleveland Indians, aren't you? 12 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Yes, this is my 12th season, Jack. 13 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,000 You're a pitcher, isn't that right? 14 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:20,000 That's what it says in my book. 15 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000 Well, yeah, you wrote a book, didn't you? How to become a pitcher? I read it. 16 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,000 You know, maybe I should. 17 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:32,000 No. Not after that game today. Not after that game today. 18 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,000 All that's pretty good. You must have brought your own writer, too. 19 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,000 Hey, Jack, how do you expect anybody to get any sleep around here at home? 20 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,000 Oh, Phil, come on in. I want you to meet Bob Feller, pitcher for the Cleveland Indians. 21 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Oh, hiya, Bob. 22 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,000 Hiya, Phil. Say, Phil, you're a pitcher, too, aren't you? 23 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:50,000 Me a pitcher? No, I'm a musician. Didn't you see me leading the band? 24 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:58,000 Oh, is that what you were doing? 25 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,000 Certainly. 26 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,000 Gee, I wish I could do that. 27 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,000 Why? 28 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,000 With a wind-up like that, there'd be no one that could hold me. 29 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:11,000 You're not kidding. And say, Bob, I meant to tell you, I like that nice stadium you have here in Cleveland. 30 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000 Have you seen it, Phil? 31 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 Yeah, it's a wonderful ballpark. Right on the edge of Lake Erie. 32 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 I saw a game the other day, and... 33 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,000 Hey, wait a minute. I just thought of something. 34 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,000 The other day when you were playing Boston, you only had eight men. 35 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000 Oh, no, no. We had nine. 36 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:26,000 No, no. I counted everyone on the diamond, and there were only eight. 37 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:36,000 Oh, you could only see eight. When Ted Williams is up, we put the left fielder in a canoe. 38 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Well, that'll teach you to ask questions. 39 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Jack, Jack! 40 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,000 I'm here, Don. 41 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,000 Jack, I've got the quartet with me, and don't you think I'm going to get... 42 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,000 Wait a minute, Don. First, I want you to meet Bob Feller. 43 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,000 Hello, Don. 44 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:54,000 Well, I'm certainly glad to know you, Bob, and I'm particularly glad you're here because the quartet's going to do a number dedicated to the Cleveland Indians. 45 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 Say, that'll be swell. And Don... 46 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,000 Hey, wait a minute, Don, why is your coat so wrinkled? 47 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:11,000 Well, I was at the ballgame Friday night. It rained, and they used my coat to cover the infield. 48 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:16,000 Oh, yes, I read about that. One of the ground crew got lost in your pocket. 49 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,000 Well, Don, where's the quartet for the commercial? 50 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,000 In my other pocket. 51 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000 Oh. Well, bring them out. 52 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000 Oh, hello, fellas. 53 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Mmm. 54 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,000 Don't mind that, Bob. I have to pay them extra if they talk, you know? 55 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,000 All right, sportsman, we haven't got much time, so let's hear the number. 56 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,000 Okay, hit it, boys. 57 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:45,000 Take me out to the ballgame. Take me out with the crowd. Buy me a package of lucky strikes. That's the cigarette everyone likes. 58 00:03:45,000 --> 00:04:00,000 So let's pop, pop, pop on a lucky. Just remember the name. One, two, three lucky strikes at the old ballgame. Take me out to the ballgame. 59 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:08,000 Take me out with the crowd. Young Bobby Feller, he pitched today. They made two home runs, but he won anyway. 60 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:20,000 So let's run, run, run for a lucky. When they're put out, it's a shame. For it's one, two, three lucky strikes at the old ballgame. 61 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:25,000 Wait a minute, boys. Wait a minute. Boys, don't dance. 62 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:49,000 Boys, stop dancing. Wait a minute, Feller. Wait a minute, boys. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 63 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:55,000 I'm so embarrassed in front of Bob Feller. Why is it every time we... 64 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000 Oh, Jack, Marilyn and I would like to know... 65 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:04,000 Oh, come in, girls. I want you to meet Bob Feller. Bob, I want you to meet Bob. Bob, why are you staring at the girls like that? 66 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:09,000 Well, if I had half the curves they've got, I could have beaten Boston. 67 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:15,000 Very good, Bob. Very good. Bob, this is Mary Livingston, and this is Marilyn Maxwell. 68 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,000 Hello, Bob. 69 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000 Hello, St. Mary. 70 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,000 Yes, Bob. 71 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,000 I feel as though I know you because I met your mother about two years ago. 72 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000 My mother, really? 73 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:29,000 Yeah, she pitched against me in Plainfield. 74 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:35,000 That's funny. I thought she was in the National League. 75 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:40,000 You're both wrong. Her arm went bad. She's wrestling now. 76 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:45,000 All right. Well, Bob will be going on stage in a few minutes. Why don't you wait and laugh till the next show and we'll all go out to dinner? 77 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,000 I'd love to, Jack. Do you mind if I call my wife? 78 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Not at all. 79 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Which reminds me, Jack, you'll know my wife. She comes from Warkegan. 80 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000 She does? I didn't know you married a girl from Warkegan. 81 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 Oh, sure. Her name was Miss Winther. 82 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:04,000 Winther. Winther. Oh, I not only know her, I used to take her out, Marcella Winther. 83 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000 No, no. That's her mother. 84 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:15,000 My wife's name is Virginia. 85 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:21,000 Let me see. Her mother. But it can't be. I remember carrying her books to school. She had long, blonde curls. 86 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,000 Yes, with a little freckle on her right cheek. 87 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,000 Yes. 88 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Well, that was her father. 89 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Now, cut that out. 90 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:37,000 Bob, I'd like to ask you a question. Isn't there some guy from radio and movies, some fellow that's part owner of the Cleveland Indians? 91 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000 Yes, there is. 92 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,000 Well, you know, I own the Warkegan Bloomer Girls and I was just wondering... 93 00:06:43,000 --> 00:07:01,000 Well, look who's there! 94 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:08,000 Howdy, Stu. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen? This is Bob, back in his hometown of Cleveland, to watch the Indians play hope. 95 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:21,000 Telling you all, if you use Pepsi like the baseball players do, you will be keeping Bob, fellow. 96 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000 He did it today. 97 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000 I didn't say hello to me or something. 98 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,000 Please, please. 99 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:33,000 Well, here I am. I saw both games today. What a team here. You know, they don't have big league baseball in Hollywood, and I'll tell you why. 100 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:37,000 It's tough sliding in the second base with a bare midriff. 101 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 Bob, this happens to be my program. 102 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:47,000 Nothing for the tailor, please. 103 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:52,000 Well, it's essential to be cut off the air today. 104 00:07:52,000 --> 00:08:01,000 Oh, but it's great being home again. All my relatives met me at the station yesterday, and I was really touched. 105 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:08,000 I have a lot of relatives here in Ohio. I have one brother doing fine in Canton, another doing five at Columbus. 106 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000 Bob, will you wait a minute first? 107 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,000 Please. Who is it? The house detective? Please. 108 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:17,000 You know, you might as well quit. You're not getting paid for this. 109 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:28,000 Don't ruin our finished gag. Will you please? 110 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:35,000 But my relatives... wait a minute! 111 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:39,000 But my relatives met me yesterday morning with a big brass band. That is, I thought it was a big brass band. 112 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:46,000 It turned out to be a lot of spittoons going to the Republican convention. 113 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:51,000 Add it was different when I lived here years ago. This time the cops drove me from the station. 114 00:08:51,000 --> 00:09:01,000 Of course, the city has changed quite a bit. I can remember a lot of little things about this town. I can't seem to get them on the phone, though. 115 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:10,000 I might as well go home. Come on. What is that? Something left over from the Eagles convention? What is it? 116 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:16,000 I went out to my old grammar school yesterday. Fairmont, junior high. There was the same old desk, the same old inkwell, same old shaving kit. 117 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:22,000 I tell you, it was brilliant. What memories that brought back? I'll never forget second grade where I met my first girl. 118 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:35,000 She was seven, I was 18. And I was so proud. On my desk they have a plaque that says, Bob Hope slept here. 119 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:43,000 And then I went back and saw the house where I used to live. Boy, what a tough neighborhood. It was so tough the freight trains used to tiptoe past. 120 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:47,000 But it was wonderful. I'll never forget when I left home to go on the road. Father said I would go a long way. 121 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:51,000 In fact, he nailed the door of the box cop. He did. Yes, he did. 122 00:09:51,000 --> 00:10:03,000 I know we've heard it. We know the joke. We know the joke. That's where you could have come in, you know. 123 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Now, what are you doing? I want to know what are you doing here? I'm getting laughs. What are you doing here? 124 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:28,000 I'm trying to. And hey, Bob, here's one of your boys, Bob Feller. One of our boys. That's an annuity, Jack, this boy. Hello, Bob. Hello, Bob. 125 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:43,000 Two Bob's. That'll get you a warm beer in England. Thanks for letting me have that one joke. 126 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:50,000 I have a line you gave me which is no good. It didn't get you anything here, which you got a lot of. 127 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,000 Well, look, Hope, let me ask you something. What are you really doing here in Cleveland? 128 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:58,000 Well, I came here to watch out for my interest. I found out you were playing here and this is my hometown, you know. 129 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Well, what about it? 130 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,000 Well, how much money have you taken into the Palestine already? 131 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:10,000 So far, about $34,000. Give me half or I'll sue you. I don't muscle in the Warkegon, you know. 132 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:17,000 What do you tell? I'm playing this whole circuit. Last week in Detroit, I took a $93,267 and $43. 133 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:22,000 And a Hoover button. How do you know? 134 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:32,000 I ain't spending any Dewey buttons to see you. 135 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:57,000 Bob, you're cheaper than Fred Allen and he's almost as cheap as I am. I'm telling you.