1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,000 This is RetroSports Radio. Visit RetroSeasons.com for more sports history. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:12,060 It is my pleasure to present one of Baseball's outstanding pictures and personalities at 3 00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:17,060 present in training with the Chicago Cubs at Catalina Island, Dizzy Dean. 4 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:28,060 Thanks Bob. Well, how are you Dizzy? 5 00:00:28,060 --> 00:00:30,060 I'm fine, but don't call me Dizzy. 6 00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,060 Why? I thought everybody called you Dizzy. 7 00:00:32,060 --> 00:00:41,060 They do, but somehow in this program I resent it. 8 00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:44,060 You see, it's only my bullpen name. 9 00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:49,060 Well, if it isn't Dizzy Dean, what is your right name? You know, the name on your bank account on the check's your sign. 10 00:00:49,060 --> 00:00:53,060 Oh, that's Mrs. Dizzy Dean. 11 00:00:53,060 --> 00:00:57,060 Dizzy, you actually mean she wears the baseball pants in your family? 12 00:00:57,060 --> 00:01:04,060 Yeah, and on her in this town they look good. 13 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:18,060 Hey, you're playing with the Chicago Cubs, aren't you? You know, Dizzy, I was just thinking, you with Mr. Wrigley and me with Pepsin, we're both living off gums, aren't we? 14 00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:21,060 Tell me, does Mr. Wrigley make you work during the off season? 15 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:25,060 Does he? Bob, you know those three little green men that dance around advertising his gum? 16 00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:26,060 Why yes. 17 00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:31,060 Well, this winter there were four of us. 18 00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:35,060 Say, Bob, you seemed to enjoy it when you were over watching our spraying training. 19 00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:38,060 You ought to come over and visit me again on the island, maybe next Friday. 20 00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:46,060 I can't, Dizzy. That's the day I visit my brother on his island. 21 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:55,060 By the way, do you know my brother? Daffy? 22 00:01:55,060 --> 00:02:00,060 What do you do? Use your own punctuation? 23 00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:07,060 Listen, when I see a coma I emphasize it. 24 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,060 What's that? 25 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:10,060 When I see a coma I emphasize it. 26 00:02:10,060 --> 00:02:22,060 Coma? I don't like to get personal. Did you have a room with Maxi Rosenblum? 27 00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:26,060 Only when I went to Harvard. 28 00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:31,060 Let's get back to the dull stuff. Say, Dizzy, I was sorry to hear you had a little trouble with your arm. 29 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:32,060 What was the matter? 30 00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:37,060 Well, my doctor thought it might be a bad tooth. He wanted to pull it, but forced me a friend of mine 31 00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,060 who told me about Pepsident toothpaste. 32 00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,060 Yes, yes. Go on. 33 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:48,060 Boy, on this program you have to sweat for your money. 34 00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:53,060 Listen, I know a lot about baseball myself. When I was a kid I used to pitch for the Eagle Knob Skunks. 35 00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:59,060 Remember that time I met you? I was with the Skunks then and you helped me quite a bit. 36 00:02:59,060 --> 00:03:07,060 Shucks, Bob. That was nothing. Anybody could have told you about Lady Esther. 37 00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:11,060 Well, when I played ball in those days I used to have trouble with my batting. I'd always swing and miss. 38 00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,060 Did you ever connect? 39 00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:18,060 Yeah, one day I hit a long drive to the outfield. I slid in the first, then I slid in the second, then I slid in the third, then I slid in the second. 40 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:20,060 What'd you go back to second for? 41 00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:23,060 My pants. 42 00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:28,060 I got to be a pretty good batter, though. One thing those pitchers couldn't do was scare me away from the plate. 43 00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:30,060 I remember one fellow threw a ball straight up my head. 44 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,060 What happened, Bob? 45 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:36,060 I heard a rhapsody. 46 00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:40,060 Say, Dizzy, while you're here in Hollywood, is there anything I can do for you? 47 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:43,060 There sure is, Bob. I'd really like to meet Hedy Lamar. 48 00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:51,060 Hedy Lamar, huh? Well, take a train to Kansas City, Dizzy. The line starts there. 49 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:56,060 I've been meaning to ask you, Bob. What's all this I hear about Hollywood wolves? 50 00:03:56,060 --> 00:04:02,060 Oh, that's just a guy that likes to walk down Hollywood Boulevard and look at all the pretty girls and wants to talk to them and get to know them. 51 00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:08,060 Well, I'll be darned. I'm a wolf. 52 00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:14,060 You know, Dizzy, you'd be pretty popular with the girls if you were as big and strong as I am. 53 00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:17,060 Are you kidding? 54 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:22,060 Wait a minute, Dizzy. I think I'm as strong as you are. Let's shake hands and see who has the strongest grip. 55 00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:30,060 All right. Put your hand in mine. Now squeeze. 56 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:37,060 Now will you put it in my pocket for me? 57 00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:41,060 Thank you, Dizzy Dean. And Dizzy, we'll be back with us in a few minutes, folks. 58 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:58,060 How much longer must I wait, Dizzy? Tell me how long. 59 00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:02,060 Well, folks, here we are in the ninth inning of this great baseball game. 60 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:09,060 Bob's Hope team is out there in the field. There's the hit. It's a high fly ball. Hope himself is out in the field. 61 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:14,060 He's going to try to get it. He's circling under it now. It's coming down. 62 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:17,060 Is there a doctor in the house? 63 00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:22,060 Well, Bob Hope is forfeiting the game. He's going back to the locker room to see if he can sign up some better players for his ball club. 64 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:28,060 We take you now to the locker room where Bob is trying to sign his star holdout. 65 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:32,060 Pitching them are, Dizzy? Sure, Chief. Think you can win? Sure, Chief. 66 00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:39,060 Know what will happen if you don't win? Sure, Super Chief. 67 00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:44,060 Well, then we're ready to draw up your contract, Dizzy. Here's my lawyers, Blitz, Fitz, Mitz and Barney Dean. 68 00:05:44,060 --> 00:05:49,060 Now, let Barney Dean get in there. He owns a fountain pen. 69 00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:56,060 Now, Dizzy, if you'll just sign this. Now, wait a minute. I won't sign this baseball contract, Hope. I don't like it. 70 00:05:56,060 --> 00:06:02,060 Why, there's nothing wrong with that contract. I copied it right from the one Paramount gave me. 71 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:12,060 That's what I don't like about it. Why should I have to carry out the garbage? 72 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:18,060 I don't carry out the garbage at Paramount. My nose turns up like this naturally. 73 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:22,060 I don't know whether I like this contract or not. Where's the part where it says how much money I get? 74 00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:29,060 Right there, right there in the white print. Now, come on. Now, come on, Dizzy, sign up. 75 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:32,060 And remember, you'll have to abide by our training rules. You can't go out with girls, understand? 76 00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:36,060 Listen here. If I want to go out with a girl, I'll go out with a girl. See? 77 00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:40,060 Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. 78 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:47,060 Because you got a friend? Never mind. Never mind. I ain't going to sign. 79 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:54,060 Listen, Dizzy, you better sign with me because right now my assistant is in New York trying to sign up one of the greatest baseball players of all time, Babe Ruth. 80 00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:57,060 Hello? 81 00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:07,060 Great news. This is your assistant, Kelona, and I'm in New York talking with a babe. She said no. 82 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,060 Professor, you're supposed to be signing up a baseball player. 83 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:13,060 Well, I have. I've just signed up for a trained bear to play second base. 84 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:15,060 A bear? Kelona, that's dangerous. 85 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:18,060 Well, I'm not such this bear as trained, and I've got a meeting out of my hand. 86 00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:22,060 In fact, I'm going to feed him a little piece of candy now, and he'll eat it right out of my hand. 87 00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:24,060 Here, nice bear. Eat this piece of candy. 88 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:35,060 Yes, boss. I've got a meeting right out of my shoulder. 89 00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:38,060 Kelona, how do you always get in the foolish predicaments? 90 00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:43,060 I got a season pass. 91 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:47,060 You know, Diz, I don't really don't need you. I'm negotiating with another great picture. 92 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:50,060 Pitchard, you ever hear about Skinny Ennis? 93 00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,060 Sure, I know all about Skinny Ennis. 94 00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:58,060 Isn't it a shame? 95 00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:10,060 I'll get it, Diz. Hello? Hope's pepsidon pole cat. Our catcher's sly. Our picture's mysterious, and we expect to win the world's serious. 96 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:12,060 He's delirious. 97 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:18,060 Listen, Hope, great news. I just found a baseball pitcher who can pitch a curve, a spitball, a drop, and a fastball all at the same time. 98 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:22,060 Professor, in order to do that, a player would have to have four arms. That's impossible. 99 00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:25,060 You hear that, Joe? Is it impossible? 100 00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:31,060 Well, stop shaking one head, yes, or the other one, no. 101 00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:35,060 Professor, you signed up a baseball player who has two heads and four arms? 102 00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:39,060 Yes, two arms face one way, and two arms face the other way. It's wonderful. 103 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,060 What's so wonderful about it? 104 00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:45,060 He can scratch himself anyplace. 105 00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:47,060 Kelona, you work me. 106 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:51,060 No, you work me. You're a bigger urk. 107 00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:57,060 Say, Diz, look out the window. Here come the pitcher and catcher. Kelona signed up for me yesterday. Let's listen to what they're saying. 108 00:08:57,060 --> 00:09:03,060 Brenda, buddy, sit coping. 109 00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,060 Well, I've been baseball player. 110 00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:10,060 Yeah, but you take the game too seriously. What an argument you gave that umpire because you didn't like his decision. 111 00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:16,060 Oh, I didn't mind his decision, but I got awful sore when he dusted home plate with my hair. 112 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:20,060 Yeah, at least he should have taken it off your head first. 113 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,060 Kelona, do you really like being a baseball player? 114 00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:32,060 Sure. I've had so much fun since I was in Seattle during the blackout. 115 00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:39,060 Oh, gosh, baseball players are so romantic. I was out with a baseball player once. He was with a Yankee. 116 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:42,060 With the Yankees? Would you meet him walking through Central Park? 117 00:09:42,060 --> 00:09:46,060 No, marching through Georgia. 118 00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:50,060 Say, you went out with a baseball player from the house of David, didn't you? 119 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:54,060 Yeah, he had a great big bushy beard all over his face. 120 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,060 Did you nick with him? 121 00:09:55,060 --> 00:10:01,060 Yeah, it's the first time I ever kissed a guy and had two helpings of shredded wheat. 122 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:08,060 Oh, you know, every time I wanted to kiss him, every time I wanted to kiss him, he'd cry so hard tears rolled into his beard. 123 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:11,060 Well, what if you do when you wanted him to kiss you? 124 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:14,060 Oh, I just say shoot the shrubbery to the blubbery. 125 00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:18,060 Oh, come on. Here's Bob's office. Let's go in. 126 00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:19,060 Hello, Bob. 127 00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:22,060 Oh, hello girls, and when I call you that, I'm spreading propaganda. 128 00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,060 Hey, what is this? 129 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:27,060 Oh, Dizzy, let me introduce you formally. These are Brenda and Cabina. 130 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:31,060 Hello. Nice to meet all the DiMaggio boys. 131 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:36,060 Hey, Dizzy, just put your arms around my neck and show me how to play baseball. 132 00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:38,060 Come on, put your arms around my neck. 133 00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:42,060 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's not baseball. 134 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:47,060 Every game I try to play, some wise guy's got an umpire. 135 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:53,060 When I get out of here, I've got to talk to Dizzy. Say Dizzy, now that I see what kind of baseball players Kelona sent me, 136 00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:57,060 there's nothing I can do but hire you at whatever salary you want. It's my only chance. 137 00:10:57,060 --> 00:11:05,060 Well, Bob, I'll sign, but only if you give me a salary of $50,000 and 10% of the gate on weekdays and 15% on Sundays. 138 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,060 Okay. 139 00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,060 Gosh, Bob, how are you going to figure that out? 140 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:12,060 Oh, don't worry, Cabina, I've got this automatic adding, subtracting and multiplying machine here. 141 00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:15,060 It'll add up those figures in the jiffy and I'll finally have Dizzy sign. 142 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:35,060 Here it goes. I press the button on the adding machine. 143 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:44,060 Anybody got a pencil? 144 00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:50,060 Good night, ladies and gentlemen. Next week, we're going to have a big show because we're going to have the grown-er-old Bing back here 145 00:11:50,060 --> 00:12:18,060 and we're really going to do a little role to some kind, I don't know, but Bing Crosby will be here next week and the regular gang. Good night. 146 00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:22,060 Bye.