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This is Retro Sports Radio. Visit RetroSeasons.com for more sports history.

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Well, Costello, I'm going to New York with you.

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You know, Bucky Harris, the Yanks manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.

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Look, Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.

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I certainly do.

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Well, you know, I never met the guys, so you'll have to tell me their names and then I'll know who's playing on the team.

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Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know, Strangely, they give these ballplayers nowadays very peculiar names.

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Any funny names?

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Strangely, pet names like Dizzy Dean and...

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His brother Daffy?

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Daffy Dean.

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And their French cousin.

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French?

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Gouffey.

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Gouffey Dean, oh, I see.

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Well, let's see, we have on the bags, we have who's on first, what's on second, I don't know who's on third.

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That's what I want to find out.

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I say who's on first, what's on second, I don't know who's on third.

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Are you the manager?

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Yes.

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You're going to be the coach too?

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Yes.

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And you know the fellow's name?

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Oh, I should.

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Well, then who's on first?

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Yes.

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The guy on first.

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Who?

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The guy playing first.

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Who is on first?

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I'm asking you who's on first.

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That's the man's name.

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That's whose name?

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Yes.

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Well, go ahead and tell me.

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That's it.

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That's who?

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Yes.

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Look, you got a first baseman.

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Certainly.

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Who's playing first?

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That's right.

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When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

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Every dollar of it.

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All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.

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Who?

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The guy that gets the money.

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Look, what I want to know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his

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name to contract?

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Who?

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The guy.

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Who?

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How does he sign his name?

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That's how he signs it.

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Who?

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Yes.

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All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base?

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No, what is on second base?

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I'm not asking you who's on second.

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Who's on first?

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One baseman at a time.

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Well, that'll change the players a little bit.

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I'm not changing nobody.

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Take it easy, buddy.

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I'm only asking you who's the guy on first base?

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That's right.

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Okay.

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All right.

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I mean, what's the guy's name on first base?

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No, what is on second?

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Who's on first?

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I don't know.

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Oh, he's on third.

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We're not talking about him.

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No, let's be honest.

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Now, how could I get on third base?

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Why, you mentioned his name.

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If I mentioned a third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

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No, who's playing first?

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What's on second?

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What's on second?

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I don't know.

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He's on third.

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There I go.

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Back on third again.

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Look, when you say on third base, it doesn't go off it.

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All right.

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Now, who's playing third base?

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Why do you insist on putting who on third base?

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What am I putting on third?

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What is on second?

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You know who on second?

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Who is on first?

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I don't know.

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Third base!

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I just thought I'd ask.

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Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

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Now, tell me who's playing left field.

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Who is playing first?

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I'm not.

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Stay out of the infield!

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I want to know what's the guy's name in left field.

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No, what is on second?

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I'm not asking you who's on second.

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Who's on first?

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I don't know.

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Third base!

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And the left field was named?

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Why?

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Because.

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Oh, he's center field.

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He is center field!

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Look, look, look.

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You got a pitcher on the team.

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Sure.

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The pitcher's name.

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Tamara.

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You don't want to tell me today?

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I'm telling you man.

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Go ahead.

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Tamara.

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What time?

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Listen, who is not pitching?

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I'll break your arm you say.

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Who's on first?

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I want to know what's the pitcher's name.

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What's on second?

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I don't know.

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Third base.

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You got a catcher?

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Certainly.

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The catcher's name.

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Today.

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Today.

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The Tamara's pitcher.

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Now you've got it.

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All we got is a couple of days on the left field.

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No, I'm a catcher too.

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Don't they tell you.

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I can be behind the plate and do some fancy catching.

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Tamara's pitching on my team and the heavy hitter gets up.

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Yes.

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Now, the heavy hitter bunched the ball.

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When he bunched the ball, me being a good catcher, I'm going to throw the guy out of

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first base so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

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Now that's the first thing you've said right.

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I don't even know what I'm talking about.

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That's all you have to do.

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Just throw the ball to first base.

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Yes.

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Now who's got it?

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Naturally.

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Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's got to get it.

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Now who hasn't?

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Naturally.

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Who?

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Naturally.

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Naturally?

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Naturally.

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So I pick up the ball and I throw it to natural.

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No you don't.

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You throw the ball to who?

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Naturally.

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That's what I said.

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Listen, you ask me.

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I throw the ball to who?

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Naturally.

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Now you ask me.

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You throw the ball to who?

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Naturally.

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Same as you.

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Don't change the way.

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Same as you.

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I throw the ball to who?

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Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs the second.

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Yes.

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Who picks up the ball and throws it to what?

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What throws it to I don't know.

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I don't know, throws it back to Tamara.

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Triple play.

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Yes.

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Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to because.

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Why?

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I don't know.

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He's on third and I don't give a shit.

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I don't give a shit.

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I don't give a shit.

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I don't give a shit.

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I don't give a shit.

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Oh, that's our shortstop.

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Oh, that's our shortstop.

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Oh, that's our shortstop.

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Oh, that's our shortstop.