What's going on, Pursuers? Welcome to The Pursuit
of Calling, the podcast that provides you with
the strategies and tools needed to successfully
discover and pursue your calling. Whether it's
through inspiring stories, thought -provoking
interviews, or quick, insightful episodes on
personal growth and development, we've got you
covered. I'm your host, Thomas Carney. Enjoy
the episode. How's it going, Pursuers? So, I
quit my job. You might already know that if you've
been listening to this podcast for a second,
because it's kind of been the theme of the last
few weeks, but I quit my job as a full -time
mobile app developer, and, you know, websites
too, in order to pursue what I believe God is
calling me to do in being a full -time entrepreneur,
specifically a coaching business, life coaching
business. However, there's one thing Big thing
that's been on my mind recently, and I think
this is something that I know this is something
that a lot of people deal with. I've, and you
might already guess it from the title of the
episode, I have a problem with procrastination.
It is not necessarily that I'm doing things that
are bad, right? It's not necessarily that I'm
doing things that are lazy. It's that I'm not
prioritizing. my needs over my wants. I'm doing
things that could be considered necessarily productive.
I'm getting things done, but they're not necessarily
the quote -unquote right things that need done.
If you're building something meaningful, especially
while managing chronic health or a high responsibility
in your life, you're going to feel this tension.
Doing things you want, over the things that need
to get done. You don't always prioritize all
that well, right? I'm doing, I like to do what's
comfortable, right? Most of us do. The ones aren't
bad things, but they aren't always the best thing
that you could be working on right now. Does
that sound familiar? You know, this came up for
me in my therapy session yesterday morning. An
avid habit most people have is, prioritizing
one's over needs. And, hmm, our society, our
economy thrives on this. Why wash the dishes
when I could watch a video on YouTube or Netflix?
Why work out when I could watch TV and have a
snack? Why pursue my calling when I could stay
comfortable with where I'm at? You know, my therapist
gave me some homework. She said, observe without
judgment when you have moments of want versus
need. Looking for a distinct reason for the procrastination.
We're going to get a little bit more into that
as we go through the episode, but I want you
to hold on to that mind. Hold on to that. We're
going to look for a distinct reason for our procrastination.
I want to focus on... You know, that simple thing,
though, that simple topic of procrastination,
this episode, and how to stop it. You know, procrastination,
it's not laziness. Like I said earlier, like,
even for me, like, I like to get things done.
You like to get things done. You're a productive
person. Like, you're not lazy. But it's a signal.
It shows our wants, fears. or discomfort are
misaligned with our needs. There's a ton of research
on this topic, like a ton. People want to know
why they procrastinate. You've most likely heard
the term delayed gratification or immediate reward.
Naturally, our brains are trained to go for what
is most readily available and attainable. So,
procrastination comes in when the brain wants
short -term emotional relief more than the reward
that the long -term goal would give you. Now,
because you lack willpower or discipline, tasks
that seem unpleasant, boring, or overwhelming
are most likely to be avoided. Then the void
is filled with something easier that brings us
comfort. Is that making sense? Listen to that
part again. You don't lack willpower. You don't
lack discipline. Simply, the tasks that seem
unpleasant, boring, or overwhelming are most
likely to be avoided. Then the void is filled
with something easier to bring us comfort. A
key idea in the research is temporal discounting.
That's a term you might not have heard before.
I didn't hear it before I started doing research
on the topic for this episode. Our brains value
immediate comfort. This is talking about the
poor discounting. Our brains value immediate
comfort more than the delayed benefits. So this
is what we were talking about before. Even when
the latter are more meaningful. So. Really, what
procrastination is doing is not necessarily pushing
things off. It's seeing how quickly we can get
a reward. Does that make sense? I think that's
the mindset shift around procrastination. It's
not laziness. It's not pushing something off.
It's getting reward faster. It's seeing how quick
can I get a reward. So what does the science
say? There is a... A couple other terms that,
again, I didn't hear before. Maybe you did. One
called task aversion. The more unpleasant or
unappealing a task feels, even if it's important,
the more likely we are to avoid it. There's another
term called emotion regulation. We practice to
manage our feelings, to escape discomfort, anxiety,
or the fear tied to a task. Okay, so we're trying
to escape discomfort, anxiety. or the fear that
is tied to the task. So what is this fear typically
that's tied to the task? I want to kind of hone
in on this fear, this anxiety. I think it's a
lot of the time what I find whenever I'm coaching,
whenever I'm coaching, my clients typically get
stressed out because they believe that the goal
is too big to achieve, or they don't know what
the next step is, and that stresses them out.
You ever been there where you're like, I have
this big thing. I have this thing that I think
it kind of feels like a pipe dream. And maybe
one day I'll do it. Maybe I'll get it done one
day. But the thing is, unless you sit down and
actually figure out how to break that goal down.
And again, we're going to get into this a little
bit more. Break that goal down into bite sized
pieces. So the task isn't as big. There's not.
fear around the task is you're going to keep
procrastinating it and keep pushing it off. So
how do we overcome it? Now, my therapist gave
me another question to ask myself in the, in
the moment of making a decision to do one thing
over another. So whenever I'm making a decision
to maybe read my book that I love reading, I
read it for fun over recording a podcast episode,
for instance. The question is, is this really
what I should be doing right now? Is this really
what I should be doing right now? It doesn't
mean that it's not what you should be doing.
It doesn't mean that it's a bad thing, but it's
a genuine question. Is this what I really should
be doing right now? Hmm. This is asking whether
the emotional reward circuitry is driving the
moment's choice. So noticing that pattern is
exactly what psychologists recommend for breaking
this procrastination cycle. It's noticing, like,
why do I want to sit down and read my book right
now? For me, this is real. I love to read. Maybe
you're not a reader. Maybe you're an audiobooker.
I'm both. I do both at the same time. That's
just me. I think it adds a dimension to the story.
Give me a break. The emotional reward circuitry
is like, do I want to sit down and read my book
right now? Or do I want to eat this chocolate
cookie right now? Or do I want to watch my TV
show right now? Because I just want to stay comfortable?
Am I afraid of the thing that I should be doing?
Is it? Something, is it uncomfortable to do the
thing that I know I need to be doing? And sometimes
that just has to happen. And I think whenever
we ask ourselves these questions, that is how
you break the cycle. That's how you stop, quote
unquote, pushing things off. You stop living
on default. I love that term. I love the phrase.
Stop living on default. And I don't think anybody
else has says that. So I kind of want, maybe
I'll make a shirt for that because I don't know.
I feel like it's my life. I want to stop. That's
why I'm leaving my job. I want to stop living
on default. Anyway, let's keep going. So let's
get into some practical steps and how to overcome
procrastination. I forgot the word for a second.
So it's not about trying harder. It's about reducing
emotional resistance. So make the need smaller.
I mentioned that before. If the task feels overwhelming,
let's shrink it. The task isn't build the business.
If you're like me, you're building your own business.
It's, hey, open the laptop. Open the laptop.
Network with five people. What are the steps
you can do in order to make the business a success?
Not. Just build a business and make it this ambiguous
big goal. Shrink it. Chop it up. Chop up. This
is an analogy I just meal prep today. Chop up
the pepper. Instead of just throwing the whole
pepper into the pot, chop up the pepper into
bite -sized pieces so that each step, each new
piece of the puzzle can be taken one step at
a time. The goal isn't write the book. It's write
one paragraph. It's not get healthy. It's go
to the gym one time. Walk in the door. Small
actions lowers emotional friction. Okay, now
let's clarify the next step. Procrastination
thrives in vagueness. Instead of... Work on the
podcast. This is something on my brain. Instead
of work on the podcast, maybe define outline
three teaching points. Record an intro. For me,
clarity reduces avoidance. The third thing in
this is attach meaning to the need. And I think
a lot of the times we have a need, like one thing
I really didn't want to do this week was sign
up for health insurance. It's really boring.
And they asked me all these crazy questions.
I say, what sex were you assigned at birth? And
I was like, oh, silly question. I think I'm pretty
sure I'm a dude. I'm positive, but silly questions
like that. And I'm like. Like. But then I'm like,
if you sign the meaning to it, I'm like, what
future does this help build? Well, for me, it
helps make sure that I'm going to be able to
go to the doctor so I can still get my medications.
And like, there's a positive outcome, positive
reward to this super boring task. Or who does
this serve? Why am I doing this right now? Who
does it serve for me to? Write this book. Who
does it serve for me to make this video? Who
does it serve for me to make sure I'm healthy?
Who else does it serve besides myself for me
to go to the gym? Maybe you're a dad and you
want to be healthy for your family. It's not
just for you. It's for the people that you serve,
and that's your family. When meaning increases,
motivation strengthens. And finally, we're going
to allow strategic wants. Instead of eliminating
comfort, we're going to earn it. We're going
to schedule it or we're going to use it as recovery.
So earn it. It's like, okay, after working for
two hours, I'm going to get one cookie. And that's
my reward. Or after reaching this milestone for
the day, after doing a session of deep work for
the day, I'm going to read my book for an hour.
That's a reward for me because, oh my gosh, Brandon
Sanderson is an artist. Look his books up. Anyway,
I mentioned, I'm going to skip a couple of things
because it's going a little bit longer than I
meant it to. The goal isn't zero once. It's just
having your once be in the right place. It's
being strategic with them. Okay, I'm going to...
I mean, I have so many notes here and I need
to skip some because this episode is getting
long. Hmm. I'm going to skip to the faith and
calling connection. How did this talk of procrastination
align with our faith as Christians and the calling
that is on your life? Here's a question that
you can ask yourself. Am I choosing comfort over
calling? Or maybe a question, am I stewarding
what God has entrusted to me? This work we're
doing, pursuing our callings, it's not just for
us. I keep saying that. Be faithful with what
God is entrusting to you. He's entrusting to
you to live a life. I'm kidding. Okay. He's entrusting
to you to live your life in a particular way.
Are you going to live your life in comfort? Are
you going to live your life in your calling?
Like, it's okay. Let's get into scripture. Colossians
3 .23. I love this verse. Whatever you do, work
heartedly. Work with all that you have as for
the Lord and not for men, not for human masters.
I'm going to say it again. Whatever you do, work
heartily as for the Lord and not for men. Work
for the Lord and not for, like, you're not working
for men. You're working to serve the Lord. You
serve the Lord by serving others. If I'm building
my business, recording a podcast, writing content,
it's not just for me. This is worship, guys.
I'm sorry if you're not a, well, I am sorry if
you're not a Christian because Jesus is great,
but man, the pursuit of your calling is worship.
Man, there's so many changes I could go on right
now, but I'm going to keep moving. Suddenly that
need becomes sacred. Okay, there's one more verse
I want to read, and then we're going to wrap
it up. Psalm 127, verses 1 to 2. I found this,
and it's amazing. Unless the Lord builds a house,
the builder labors in vain. Unless the Lord watches
over the city, the guard stands watch in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling
for food to eat. For the Lord, he grants sleep
to those he loves. Spurgeon said about these
two verses, he said, note, the psalmist does
not bid the builder cease from laboring, nor
suggest that watchmen should neglect their duty,
nor that man should show their trust in God by
doing nothing. Nay, nay, Spurgeon is great, nay,
he supposes that they would do all that they
can do. And then he forbids their fixing their
trust. in what they have done and assures them
that all creature effort will be in vain unless
the creator puts forth his power. God's not calling
you to be lazy. He's calling you to take action
and give it all that you have. But man, only
if it's what he's calling you to do. Only for
what he's saying, this is for you. Man, so whenever
we're procrastinating from our calling, like,
ooh, okay, okay. We're kind of telling God the
calling that he's given us isn't enough. And
I'm like, bro, ooh, that's way, ooh, I'm getting
a little uncomfortable. We don't need to rely
on our abilities alone. God is a provider and
sustainer. He wants us to rest and rely on him.
He doesn't want us to reach the edge of burnout.
He loves us. However, if his hand isn't over
our pursuits, then they're in vain. So I want
to challenge you to pray on your efforts or your
goals aligned with the calling he has placed
on your life. Man, I didn't actually, I prepared
a lot, a lot more for this. Okay. I shouldn't,
I probably shouldn't say this, but I prepared
a lot more for this episode than I have for a
lot of other episodes in the past. And man, it
was so much fun. And it's 20 minutes. I don't
know if there, I don't know if people are going
to listen to the whole thing, but man, thank
you. If you did, I really appreciate it. I want
to give you one more challenge. If you have,
if you were to ask yourself is what I'm doing
right now about to do. Wow. That was terrible.
English is what I'm about to do really what I
should be doing. If you were to ask yourself
that, what do you think would happen? Think about
that. Start asking yourself that question. I'm
going to be doing it too. I'm going to be doing
it right alongside you because I just had this
therapy session yesterday and it just sparked
this whole thought process in me. So, guys. Thank
you for sitting with me and listening to this
episode of the Pursuit of Calling podcast on
procrastination. I didn't think I was going to
have so much fun talking about procrastination.
It's crazy. If you like this episode, please
share it out on social media. It's so helpful
when you do that. And if you find a reel, if
you see a reel about this episode, repost it.
Do that repost thing that Instagram now does
and like it, share it. And guys, don't forget
to give a five -star review. on Spotify, Apple
Podcasts, and apparently now you can leave comments
on Apple Podcasts from what I understand. So
if you want to go leave a comment on Apple Podcasts
on Spotify, wherever you're listening to your
podcast, that would be amazing. Guys, thank you
again for listening to this episode. Keep pursuing
your calling. Do well. I'll see you later, pursuers.
Peace.