What's going on, Pursuers? Welcome to The Pursuit
of Calling, the podcast that provides you with
the strategies and tools needed to successfully
discover and pursue your calling. Whether it's
through inspiring stories, thought -provoking
interviews, or quick, insightful episodes on
personal growth and development, we've got you
covered. I'm your host, Thomas Carney. Enjoy
the episode. What's going on, Pursuers? Welcome
to the Pursuit of Calling podcast. And Ryan,
thank you for joining me. Hey, thank you for
having me. Yeah, for sure. And guys, I'm excited.
Ryan is working on becoming a keynote speaker,
but he's also currently coaching kids how to
gain confidence and gain college scholarships.
That's a couple things that came up during our
pre -interview that we had almost a month ago
now, it feels like. Yeah, guys, I'm excited for
this conversation. Ryan, for the pursuers who
don't know you, because we're going to assume
most of them don't, who are you? What do you
want them to know about you? Man, that's a pretty
loaded question, isn't it? Probably the number
one thing I'd... What people know is I'm a child
of God. First and foremost, my identity is in
God. Everything I am and have is rooted in him.
Which wasn't always the case, but now I realize
that that's where my, where everything about
me comes from. But for everybody else, you know,
the non -godly folks out there, you know, would
say I am pretty much a mindset coach. Trying
to become a motivational speaker. And that's
pretty much it. No, that's fantastic. No, you
told me before we started recording, short and
sweet. That's great. So a part of your story
that I found really intriguing, and I'm happy
when during the preview I dove into it further,
but you mentioned going from jail. being incarcerated
to running a wrestling academy. And so, like,
before we talk about you actually getting to
where you are now, I want to talk about where
you were. So can you give us a little bit of
insight into that? Well, I mean, I grew up like
any normal kid, was very athletic, good in school,
and somewhere along that path, I lost myself.
And became addicted to drugs and alcohol. And
I just kept going down that path. Every time
I tried to get away from it, I would kind of
get sucked back in. Because I had my own personal
hurts and hang -ups, everything. Well, eventually
I realized that all that was going to happen
to me was I was going to end up dead. I was going
to end up in prison. And that's where I could
get clean and sober. And this happened. I ended
up in jail for a little time, like 20 some days
and had some time to kind of reflect and that
was the life I wanted. And it wasn't. Yeah. And
sometimes that's what you need, that kick sometimes,
right? You need that realization. whenever you're
brought down low and like, um, I'm diving a lot
into Psalm 23 right now. And, um, whenever in
that valley, a shadow of death and you're starting
that, like you're realizing whenever you become
a child of God, become a child of God, you're
like, man, I can fear no evil because God is
with me. Yeah. And that's what I take from like,
uh, my, that time there was God was giving me
a time out and bringing me closer to him. Because
in my time there, I started going to recovery
meetings. Was going back to doing Bible studies,
going to like church sessions, which I hadn't
been to church in like almost 20 years at that
point. And as soon as I got out, the people that
were coming in doing recovery meetings, I started
meeting up with them. So everything was for a
reason that I was sent there to go to that next
level and follow that next path. Yeah. And what
is that next path? What was that? At first, I
didn't know. First, it was get clean and sober.
That was my main objective was trying to get
away from. Drugs and alcohol. Like there was
no other path but that. That was my main focus
was that. And then I realized, hey, that my main
focus need to be on God, not just the getting
clean and sober part. Yeah. And then that led
you from what I remember to a conversation that
you had with your friend about. what you should
be doing with your life. Yeah. I mean, that was
an interesting thing. I mean, so I was doing
construction at the time and I just felt it in
my heart that I wasn't supposed to be there anymore.
I was having trouble getting clearance over.
I mean, I was struggling. Some days I'd be good.
Other days bad, but we were working outside middle
and I'm living in Ohio. So in middle of winter
working outside. Kind of miserable in the middle
of, what, December, January. You know, it's kind
of miserable outside, cold. And I couldn't be
happy. I mean, I was not happy at all where I
was in life. And the people I was around, there
was a lot of negativity. I'm like, I can't do
it here. I can't do what I need to do in this
environment. I need to get away. So I took a
layoff from work and was kind of debating on
what I wanted to do again. And I was like. you
know what i'm gonna start my own business let's
let's maybe start a painting business or something
that i know i could do i know some other people
some construction people that could help me get
me in the foot in the door and i could go do
this well i went and talked to a friend really
good friend and we started talking i wanted to
get some advice on how to get this business up
and running business plan everything and i used
to coach his sons in wrestling And he came in.
I went to him. We just started talking, small
talk, you know, talk about how his kids were
doing, how the team was doing. And we just started
talking about wrestling. And he seen my face
light up as we were talking about wrestling and
about helping kids and about having a plan of
how to get them to be successful, how to change
things around. He's like, he just looked at me,
right? He goes, you don't even know, do you?
I go, no, no way. He goes. This is what you need
to be doing. Not the other stuff, not running
a painting business or anything like that. You
need to go coach wrestling and help these kids.
He goes, that's what you need to do. He goes,
you have a plan. Anybody who knows anything can
kind of see how your face lights up when you
talk about it. He goes, that's where you need
to go. So that's what I started pursuing. Well,
there's a lot of doubt first. First and foremost
in my head, am I good enough to do that? Look
where I was just at. I was in jail probably less
than four months ago. You know, is anybody going
to let me around their kids? I mean, I'm not,
wasn't the best role model at the time, you know?
So I had a lot of doubt, but I ended up finding
something in my coat pocket. And I pulled out
this, I kept asking God, God, if this is what
you want me to do, tell me. Well, one day I reached
in my coat pocket and pulled out this poem and
it was like a wrestling poem. And I'm like, I
didn't know. I thought somebody put it in my
pocket. That's where I was at at the time, you
know, because I was recently came back to God,
you know, not realizing this, how it all works.
I'm like, who's playing with me, you know? And
pulled this thing out. I'm like, oh, my God.
This is what I'm supposed to do. So I went and
pursued that track. Yeah. And. Previously, you
talked about on a pre -interview. You talked
about building confidence in these kids because
that's where they needed to start because they
didn't have confidence in themselves to be able
to achieve the things that you knew that they
could. Right? Yeah. That's why I start with everybody.
For sure. It's confidence. For the listeners
of this podcast, you know, I recently, I've decided
to... shift my focus and my niche towards young
Christian men who are dealing with these chronic
conditions and similar to mine and the same thing
the same thing happens because you start to believe
that because of your circumstances that you're
not capable of doing this that you're not capable
of doing this achieving big goals, not capable
of doing things that other people say that you
are not able to do. So what would you be able
to say based on your experience with kids that
are in certain circumstances or even believe
things about themselves? How does that translate?
Well, confidence is everything. That Henry Ford
quote always sticks to me when I start thinking
about this. It's, those who believe they can,
can. Or whether you believe you can, Or you believe
you can't, you're both right. I mean, that goes
with me every time because I'm like, that is
so true. And that was part of my problem. I think
why I kind of strayed towards drugs and alcohol
was because like those limiting beliefs I had
about myself. That I wasn't good in certain areas.
And so when I kind of got clean and sober. This
was the one thing I had to learn how to do was
quiet my mind. And I mean, I did everything like
spiritual warfare, listen to podcasts on, on
like personal development, start reading a lot
of books and just started learning how to control
my mind. And everything came back to when I'm
trying to get better and become a better person
came back to the mindset. You got to learn how
to upgrade your mind. You're trying to upgrade
everything else about your body and everything
else, but your mind still is horrible. You got
to learn how to upgrade that. So, I mean, I deep
dove into a lot of that on how to start controlling
that. And I was kind of led to start working
with kids and wrestling with mindset. And when
I did this program, I signed up to do this program
on mindset coaching. I'm like, we started talking
about, they gave me the worksheets and everything
that we were doing. And I looked, I'm like, man,
this is a lot of the stuff that I did for myself,
you know, to upgrade my own mind. I'm like, I
bet this stuff works. I kind of started working
with a kid here and it didn't really take with
him because some of the work and then he didn't,
but I kind of learned a little bit, you know,
I kind of rushed the process with him. His process
needs to go slower. So I need to go slower with
a lot of people. You know, you can't rush the
process of them upgrading their mind. It's an
everyday occurrence and you just, the process
of the process, you know, you can't rush it.
So I took on another kid and wow, it took off.
Like this kid went from like mid -level, which
he always had the talent, but his mindset wasn't
very the best. But he went from mid -level to
top -notch, like very, very good. And people
started noticing it, you know, within a year.
They'd seen like the transformation this kid
had within a year of working with me. And then
the next year, I mean, was even better. So eventually
I started picking up clients all through word
of mouth. Yeah. So realistically, what I say
is I build confidence in them. I get these kids
to believe that what they want and desire in
their heart is not impossible. I kind of give
them permission to go get it and build them out
plans. But first, like I said, I start everybody
out in confidence because I know how hard it
is to go try to achieve something bigger than
yourself that you don't think you can do. Like
there's going to be a lot of struggles, lots
of ups, lots of downs. So getting them to learn
how to calm that mind and start eliminating those,
those voices in their head, those limiting beliefs
they have about themselves. I mean, that is the
main thing. Like it start, why I start out with
confidence is I get to help. I get to start recognizing
their patterns of their thoughts they have. And
then I also get to, you know, Kind of get them
to start rewiring it by what they're telling
themselves and how they talk to themselves. So
in particular, what is the practical way that
you do that? How do you rewire somebody's brain?
A lot with daily affirmations. I'd say the two
biggest things in confidence that I do is daily
affirmations and visualization. The Daily Affirmations,
I mean, it's not where we're just sitting in
a mirror saying, I am this, I am that. No, they're
more like what Tony Robbins would call incantations
because you're creating movement with it, like
body movement, and you're actually speaking it
from the heart. And there's feeling and emotion
in it, not just, I am this, I can do this, you
know. Just that it's creating movement where
you're actually believing that. Then you add,
you add the visualization to it later on and
you're starting manifesting things and starting
to actually see yourself doing this stuff. And
it's like, man, I can do this. And then you start,
eventually when you build the daily. action plans
and the habits to go with it, you know, putting
the work into it, everything starts, you know,
you start gaining a lot of momentum where you
start believing you can do it. What's an example
you can give us? Like, I would love for the listeners
who have, who are still listening to the episode,
who were like, who were like, okay, I want to
hear more of what Ryan has to say. What, like,
let's, let's do something. Let's actually give,
let's give them something practical to do. So
first off, I can give you like two quick steps.
Okay. So first step, I would say, if you're lacking
confidence, what I would do, write down 10 things
that you've accomplished in life. 10 things that
you've accomplished. It can be work -related,
school -related, family -related, spiritual -related,
anything. 10 things that you've done and accomplished
that you're like, man, I didn't think I could
do this, but I did. That's where confidence lies
is the things looking at your past successes,
because we've all done things that other people
couldn't do. You know, everybody's done something
that not everybody could do. And you've been
successful. You're just not looking at it hard
enough. And then just start looking at some of
your skills. I'd put down like, Hey, 10 skills
that I'm good at 10 things. I'm like. They'd
be subjects in school. Like, Hey, I'm good at
this video game. Things like that. I mean, you
all have skills that you're better at than the
other people. So when you start looking at all
the positive things, that's where I would start.
And then what I would do, I would create an anchor
or gesture, which could be, it's just a physical,
it's a, just like a physical gesture. It'd be
a stop of the finger, a clap, smack on the head,
pat on your chest. anything little leg slap anything
little like that and you just go down that list
one by one and pair that with that gesture do
that for a couple weeks every day maybe once
or twice a day for a couple weeks and that just
starts reprogramming your mind to show you hey
you actually have been successful and you've
actually been good yeah that's something that's
where you start because hey i can walk you through
the other stuff but Getting you to actually see
that you've actually done something that other
people couldn't do and you're not what you think
you are. It just helps rewire that brain a little
bit. Then I would go straight to like building
affirmations, incantation, whatever you want
to call them. And those are just I am statements.
And those could be, I'd say create five of them,
five or more. Let's be like, I'm unstoppable.
You know, I can do this. I'm the best. Like kind
of pair, make it with what you want to do. So
like with the athletes I work with, I'm unstoppable.
I am the strongest, you know, things like that,
you know, they create them statements and then
kind of pair them up. So with the affirmations
and everything, we'd say them five times a day.
And then after each physical, after each time
they say the I am statement, they do their gesture.
And we do that once I serve them out five times
a day. Cause it takes like 15 seconds. It takes
like 15 seconds. You can't remember them. Take
a picture on your phone of them and go through
the day like that. Yeah. And it's just crazy.
Yeah. And I think it's crazy. Cause like what
you're saying is. I don't know if you heard this
before, maybe the listeners have. Whenever I
was in school, I would hear people say, whenever
you're studying for a test, chew a stick of gum.
And it's like, maybe it's flavorful, maybe it
has mint in it. And only chew that when you're
studying for that test. And then whenever you
go to take the test, chew that same gum. Because
what that's going to do is going to trigger your
brain to take that trigger and pull that information
out into the surface. And that's what you're
doing with the, what would you call it, the gestures.
You're like, okay, I'm going to... Imagine an
IM statement or something I'm good at with a
snap or a slap on the leg because it pulls it
to the front. I think when you leave it on the
surface sometimes and you're not in this world
as much as we are, you see that on the surface
and you're like, man, that can't work. That sounds
too easy. Because I was definitely a person like
that. I would hear that and I'm like, yeah, that's
wishy -washy. That makes no sense. That's pipe
dream stuff. But I've done it. I think I told
you in our pre -interview, I did a, for a month,
I did what Tony Robbins calls priming, where
you visualize the future that you want, you visualize
the goals that you're aiming to achieve as if
you've already achieved them, and then you're
going back through the whole process of who you
became in order to achieve that goal. And that...
month i was on fire i was i was on fire i started
my start it would be at the start of my day every
morning for like a month and i like everything
i did started becoming for that going towards
that goal i wrote down um a a while ago i wrote
down i don't know if you've read think and grow
rich but that's a great book yeah and i he has
he's all about visualization He's like, write
down in as much detail how much money you want
to make, how you're going to make that money,
what you're going to do. And I did that. I wrote
it all down. Napoleon Hill, people don't know
who I'm talking about. And I did that. I wrote
it all down and then forgot about it. I read
it every day, like you said in the book, read
it every day for however long I did it. I read
it to a point where I memorized it. then one
day i picked it up i found it i found my paper
i kept it in a folder it's off to my left over
there and i read it i was like oh it's gonna
be coaching and merch store and all this stuff
and i was like at the time i was like i'm literally
doing everything that i wrote down i forgot i
even wrote it yeah i programmed my brain and
that's what it is guys visualization gives your
you're giving your subconscious mind that belief
so it gives your conscious mind permission to
go get it it programs your subconscious which
programs your conscious mind to go attract those
things because everything needs to be done on
the subconscious level like us as human beings
are probably only operating at probably maybe
like what they said maybe 10 15 percent of our
mental capability like with visualization and
all that stuff, all the things we don't utilize,
like with our brain capacity. I mean, it's crazy
when you kind of look at everything. I mean,
we've been bombarded with so many messages throughout
with no quiet time or anything that we're just
being bombarded with all those messages from
social media and everything, all television ads
and everything else. We don't know what's going
on half the time. So that's why that quiet time
away from yourself and the visualization definitely
works. I love visualization. You've talked about
how it works for you. Yeah. It's fantastic. And
now we're talking about, man, I don't do it enough.
But that's also why whenever we were talking,
come and tell us a story. and the person and
the people are listening are starting to form
a story of their version of it in their heads
and they're like if you're talking about driving
your car they're thinking about driving in their
car and like the so like why can't we do that
for ourselves why can't i be like okay i'm gonna
i'm gonna intentionally do that instead of letting
my subconscious um i'm gonna start programming
our subconscious can whenever we start programming
that that part of our minds then eventually we
don't even have to think about it. Eventually
our subconscious works independently of us, which
is awesome. But we have to intentionally take
a hold of it instead of letting the world dictate
what it's going to think. That's why fight or
flight is a thing. That's why we start to get
programmed by different things and different
triggers. But whenever we start intentionally
acknowledging what those triggers are and then
making our own triggers like you were saying,
Then we can start to actually pull things out
of our subconscious into our consciousness and
actively utilize it in our day -to -day lives.
So guys, for the listeners of this podcast, for
the pursuers that are listening, I actually want
you to do that. Think about how you're starting
your day every day. How are you starting it?
Are you in the word? Are you starting it with
the word? Are you visualizing? Have you ever
done visualization before? If you haven't, either
try it after this episode or try it in the morning
and actually visualize a goal that you want to
achieve. I know now that I'm saying a goal that
you want to achieve, you're thinking about the
goals that you want to achieve. I already know
that you're doing that. I don't even have to
know who you are. And so start doing that visualization.
We talked about how good it is. So he gave you
those practical steps. He gave you like... He
said five IEM statements, doing the visualization,
write down ten things that you've accomplished
in your life, and ten things that you're good
at. Like, just doing one of those is enough.
Just doing one of those is a great start. I almost
said it was enough, and that wasn't going to
be true. But, Ryan, before we wrap up, do you
have anything else that you want to... Leave
it to the listeners before we go to our final
questions. Yeah, I would just tell them if you
do visualization, use all your senses. Use all
your senses, too, with that. Because it makes
it more personable. Makes it more emotional.
When you can, like, even smell, like, where you're
at. Like, hear it and feel, like, actually feel
it. It creates more of that. that definitive,
hey, this is going to happen. It makes it more
real. Yeah. So that would be the one you're doing
when you're doing that visualization. Yeah. Yeah,
just add your senses to it. Right. Alright, so
going to the end, I always ask people the same
two questions. I'll start with the first one
and we'll move to the second one. So what is
the top resource, the top tool that you recommend
to people? So like this talk about book. Yep.
Okay. So probably one of my favorite books, and
it's a quick read. I can't remember who wrote
it, though. It's called Chop Wood, Carry Water.
It's probably only 110 pages long, but it talks
about the process. It is a very good book and
everything it talks about. It showed me so much
that, Hey, it's always about the process about
who you become in the process and not about,
about reaching your destination. The process
is going to be hard. You just got to go through
it. Fall in love with the process. That's one
of my favorite books of all time. Cause you know,
no matter what it's. That's my favorite book.
Awesome. Yeah. Thank you. That's going to be
linked in the show notes. I'd probably give the
Amazon link unless you have a better one out
there. And then who do you know that I should
know, Ryan? Who would be a great, who would be
a good part of my net addition to my network?
Who would be great to have as a podcast guest
for the pursuers of the Pursuit of Calling podcast
to listen to? So one guest that is a very good
personal friend of mine. named Rory Paquette,
who is actually my podcast coach. And I actually
did a podcast. My first podcast I ever went on
was his. And then he ended up becoming my podcast
coach and kind of helped me start a podcast for
myself. He would probably be the best person
for you to know. Awesome. All right. Well, I'm
going to talk to you a little bit after the recording.
We'll get, uh, talk a little bit more about,
um, your podcast coach and we will, uh, but guys,
thank you for listening to the pursuit of calling
podcast. If you liked this episode, go ahead
and give it a like, give it, give a five -star
review on Spotify and Apple podcasts, wherever
you listen to your podcast. Yeah. Make sure you
do. Make sure you do that. Cause it really does
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it, share it directly with your friends and not
on social media because, again, that helps us
spread the message, help people know that they
were made for more, that they have a calling
on their lives despite their circumstances. Whether
you're in chronic pain or you're dealing with
some other chronic illness, you were made for
more and you have a higher calling on your life.
So, Ryan, thank you for joining me. And, guys,
we'll see you next time. Hey, thanks for having
me. Thank you.