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What's going on, Pursuers? Welcome to this episode of the Pursuit of Calling podcast

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with me, your host, Thomas Carney. So in this episode, I'm talking all about mentorship.

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We're having a great conversation just between you and me today about why it's important

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to have mentors in your life. But before you get into the episode, go ahead and make sure

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you subscribe on YouTube and Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your podcast

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and make sure notifications are on so you do not miss an episode of this podcast, guys.

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Also, if you want to go to the PursuitOfCalling.com, go to the website, let me know what you think

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of the website, and go ahead and sign up for email alerts. And I'm going to give you a

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free gift for that as well. All right, guys. See you in there. All right, Pursuers, let's

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dive right in. So, you know, you can't pursue your calling on your own, right? You're going

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to need people by your side pushing you to be more than you know that you can be. These

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people know more than you. Right? So in this episode, we're going to talk about why it's

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important to have mentors in your life. We're also going to talk about what a mentor is

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and why you should have multiple mentors in your life for the multiple areas of your life.

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You can't you shouldn't just have one that tries to encapsulate all that you try to use

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to encapsulate all of those areas. So let's start with why is it important to have mentors

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in your life? Why is it important to seek them out? Right? Because a lot of the time

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they don't find you, you find them. So, you know, two weeks ago, two episodes ago, I talked

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about the time I almost lost $4,000. That was one that's like honestly one of the scariest

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times of my life. And it sounds bizarre because I may be there might be another scary time

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coming along. But like, that was that was that, you know, that was a hard time my life.

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And the two guys, the two men that walked me through that two mentors that walked me

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through that I mentioned in that episode were Ed Newell and Patrick Williams. They both

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knew more than I did in that situation. And they knew those things before I did. That's

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what makes that's one great thing that makes a mentor. And, you know, these people I sought

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them I sought them out beforehand before this situation even happened. It was like they're

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already established as mentors in my life. So let me actually touch on that a little

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bit more a little bit deeper. The like you don't want to wait to have a mentor in your

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life up until some bad situation comes along. These mentors aren't just for bad situations.

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They're also to propel you forward in situations. So mentors, you know, they walk down the mountain.

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They don't stay at the top. That's the thing I learned from John Maxwell, right, where

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a mentors or leaders, you know, people who say it's lonely at the top, John said those

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aren't actually leaders because if they're at the top by themselves, they're not leading

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anybody. They're at the top yelling down from the top of the mountain being like local

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what I did. That means you can do it too. But come on up. But a mentor or true leader

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walks down the mountain and walks with you back up and says points out where the pitfalls

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are points out the cliffs and the wrong turns that might take you right back down the mountain.

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They that's what Pat kind of did for me. Even though I was already in this bad situation,

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that actually helped me realize that the situation wasn't really that bad. He helped me realize

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that this situation that I was in, he was like, Thomas, I've been through this before.

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He's like, I've been through worse than this before, if I remember correctly. And he was

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like, you're fine. One, he was like, one helped me realize I didn't sign anything. So they

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had no legal reason to hold my money. And like him being an established business owner of

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multiple different businesses was able to help me figure out who they really were. And

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like he knew all of those things. I didn't know. And now I now I now have more of an

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idea of what to look out for. And that whenever I'm signing up for people signing people into

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a business, I'm signing up for people for my coaching in the future to have them sign

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a contract. Because yeah, for my coaching, that'd be I'll be a little bit nicer. But

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you know, there's, you know, that was a little off topic. But like, I don't know if you realize

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I really like I really like John Maxwell. So in preparation for this episode, you know,

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I watched an episode from the Maxwell Leadership podcast called What It Really Means to Be

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a Mentor. And this was in about an hour, like it was like an hour and 11 minute video about

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like, like, cut having cuts for different episodes of podcasts, different talks that

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John, John or some of these other people did about mentorship. And like, I took a ton of

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notes, I don't have time to go through completely with you today. But I'm going to give you

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like the way I'm talking about today all the way, like the things I talked about already

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are those main takeaways that I that I derived from these notes. I'm going to link to that

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episode though in the show notes, because I want to share it with you because I want

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you to grow want you to see and watch this video put on like, I don't know 1.5 1.7 speed

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on YouTube because John at least John can talk a little slow and not like, like he just

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talk slower. And I would like I like you know, if I can bump it up to 1.7, then it makes

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the video go a little bit faster makes like 30 minutes. Not that's not a knock on john

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Maxwell at all. Just take some breaks between breaths. So what is a mentor we already so

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we covered what a mentor is. Or like we covered what it why it is important to have mentors

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in your life, because they're not yet you know, they're not just part of the bad times,

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even though I just talked about a bad time in my life when it was great to have a mentor.

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I also talked about how they're there to propel you forward. And I think I'll talk about it

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later in my notes, but I'm going to mention it now. I was listening to another podcast

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today about mentorship by actually was a by the podcast of the guests from the last episode,

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john stonkey. And in this episode, he was talking about mentorship and saying like having

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a mentor is almost like having a real almost like getting a shortcut having a shortcut,

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even though there's no shortcut to shortcuts in life, having a mentor, you know, like I

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said, they help you see the pitfalls and the things that you weren't aware of that could

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hang you up. And they save you a lot of time and potentially in my case, a lot of money.

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So something to think about whenever you're seeking your mentors out. So what is a mentor?

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You know, they're, they're, they're someone who gives people perspective. They're also

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they help us see the whole picture, you know, they like that was what pat did for me. He

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helped me see the whole picture of that. I didn't, I didn't lose my money. I didn't,

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I was in a better situation than I thought it was. I was, I was only seeing the picture

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that was in my own head. I was internally seeing the picture. I was internally only

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seeing the picture that I was creating myself. And he helped me see the whole picture that

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was external to me. He's helping me connect pieces that I didn't have that I w I wasn't

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aware of and created a bigger picture. It's like I only had my own piece of the puzzle

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and he supplied the rest. So the, you want to go with like, the mentors also see more,

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I guess they already said this multiple times. They see more before the others that are in

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their area of mentorship. The, and when I see the area of mentorship, we're going to

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cover later, but like why it's important to have multiple mentors, but I'm going to get

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into more of that in a second. But you know, they also see, they also share about their

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personal life. Then this is important. And mentor, a true mentor is going to share about

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their personal life, their personal experiences and how they felt throughout those situations.

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The things that they learned in those situations, because like that's what, again, that's what

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Pat did for me. He shared his personal experience with me and he told me how stressed out he

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was and that he said, Thomas, everything you're saying, like, I remember having those same

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thoughts, but I got to the other side and realized it wasn't that bad. I'm telling you

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now that it's not that bad. So he told me he's, he told me his past experiences and

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he was able to walk me through it. That's what a true mentor does. You know, I like

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the, I like to saying that John said, I wrote down this little excerpt from my notes, that

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you're going to, you want to ask your mentors about their failures to learn more from them.

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Because if you want to learn, if you want to impress people, you share your success.

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But if you want to impact people, you share your failures. So what does that mean? Well,

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whenever you want to share, impress, what I say, if you want to impress people, you

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share your success. If you're just saying, look at all these things I do, you said, it

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makes people feel like, like they look at you and you're like, wow, they're, I'm really

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impressed by all the things that you accomplished. And then they don't feel like they can do

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it themselves. They just think it's really cool that you did it. And, but if you share

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about their failures and you mix those things in with each other, you share your failures

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while you're talking about your, even whenever you're succeeding, you're like, wow, look

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at all those things he accomplished in spite of the failures he went through.

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So these, this is what makes a mentor guys. Now, maybe you already have, maybe you already

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have a mentor and now it's time for you to go mentor somebody else. That was the original

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idea for this podcast actually, for this episode was to talk about the three levels of leadership

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and when it pertains to you, like you have you, you have the people above you and people

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below you in the site of mentorship. But I really wanted to talk about why it's important

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to have a mentor, right? I wanted to talk about why it's important, what they are and

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so I can really push you to seek mentors out in your life. If you don't, do not have any,

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I'm going to help, I'm going to add this, this is the point of this episode is the point

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of this episode is to help you out. So, and again, if you already have a mentor in your

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life, maybe it's your turn. Maybe it's your turn to go and seek somebody out to mentor.

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You know, before I did say that mentors don't find you, but I shouldn't, that's the case

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most of the time. But then there is also the cases of the real awesome mentors that seek

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people out and say, and when they see something, maybe they see something in you. Maybe you

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have somebody that saw something in you spoke into that and they said, that is something

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I'm impressed with. That is something I know can grow in you. That is somebody I know is

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somebody, if I mentor them, they're going to shoot to the moon. Like a mentor's, a mentor

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or a leader's goal shouldn't be to get them even to their level. It's to get the people

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that they're mentoring past them and to surpass them. It's like whenever I hear my parents

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talking about a parent saying that you, let me get this thought together. When parents

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say that they want their children to be better than them, like not even saying that they

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want them to be raised, but then they were raised or want them to live a life that was

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better than theirs. Like want them to succeed in areas that they didn't succeed. Like it's

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the same idea. Parents are mentors and leaders to their children. And just like you could

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be a mentor to a friend or a student, if you're a teacher or to a colleague at work or to

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the people that are below you, I'm putting quotes around that for the audio listeners,

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to the below you in your positional role at your job, maybe you're a manager or a supervisor,

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you can be that mentor and true leader, not just by positional, to those people below

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you. So if you want to impress, share your success, if you want to impact people, share

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your failures. Now I like this one thing also that John Maxwell said as well. He said, I

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said already, if you're succeeding, you want to make sure you share your failures, but

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also when you're failing, you want to make sure you remember and share your successes.

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And so you keep that positive outlook on life and people would be like, wow, even though

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he's in a rut, even though she is in a rut, they still remember the things that they've

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already accomplished. And that means that they can do it again. And that also in you,

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like, just because you're in it, maybe you're, maybe it's because you're might be in a rut.

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If you are, you can look back on your past successes and realize, yeah, I can do that

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again. I can do more than that again. Let me learn from this failure and then surpass

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where I was before. So now let's talk about the next thing. Let's talk about how, why

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you should have multiple mentors for different areas of life. Now these different areas of

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life could include your financial, business, career, or your calling per se, hint hint,

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maybe your leadership, your health, maybe even your relationships. I think all of those

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areas are great areas to have mentorships. Now it can be intersection points. Maybe you

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have a mentor that is good in multiple areas, but I don't think one mentor is going to

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be good at mentoring you in every single one of those areas. That's why it's important

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to seek out multiple mentors. Now, if you don't have a mentor or can't find a mentor

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in a particular area, you know, a great place to start is by well, seeking out books written

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by authors, by great men and women, you know, let them be your mentors. You know, I have

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a book up on my bookshelf. You can't actually see it, but it's, I'm going to, you know,

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it's this one up there. I'm going to, I will, I'm going to, you know, this is sign

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note, I'm going to post this video. I haven't been posting them. I'm going to post this

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one. I'm holding myself to that and write that down in my notes. So you can watch this

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on YouTube, but there's, you know, I've already talked about in previous episodes, why it's

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important to read books. If you want to grow, you want to, if you want to grow, you read

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books. If you're not growing, you're dying. So yeah, let, like, if you don't, I'm going

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to explain why it's important in this area, in this context. I like book up, I said, I

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already have a book up there. I got sidetracked. I apologize. It's up there. It's called, um,

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attached. It's about attachment styles when it comes to relationships. Now I haven't read

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through the whole thing yet, but I wanted to reference it because there's areas I want

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to personally understand about relationships, being a single guy. And I also have friends

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in my life. My best friend, Andrew, who just got married. Um, he's a great mentor when

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it comes to relationships. But then I can also go to books. You can have more than one

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mentor in areas. Well, you don't have to just have to look like half one, you know, there's,

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it can be a book and can be other people, but there's, you know, though I also love

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reading, you know, John Maxwell, you know, for topics when it comes to leadership, I

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have a great leaders in my life. But then I also go to John Maxwell because I know he

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has tried, he has tried and true, um, leadership principles that I, I plan and do implement.

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So people who read are people who succeed that in itself is all you need it. They all

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they need to know why you need, why you should be reading people who read or people who succeed.

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Now to kind of close this off, I just want to talk about one thing that John talked about

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during this episode, during that one YouTube video that I really, really, really think

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you should listen to. Um, he said he does something called learning lunches, you know,

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he is a great practice John talks about and you know, he to these lunches, he says sometimes

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he doesn't even eat anything at these lunches. He just pays for the lunch of the people he

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for the person he invites. It's just a one-on-one lunch and he brings a notebook and a list of

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questions, which I think is amazing. And some of the questions he asks are, tell me about

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your failures. Like we talked about before. And this last question is fantastic and it

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might start asking it to guests, um, to guests, uh, on the, on the, uh, episodes, but who

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do you know that I should know? This is a great question. Who do you know that I should

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know? That's a great way to increase your network. And like, it's a way to like, even

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for me is a good way to get more people on the podcast. Cause I, you know, I talked to

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John Stongi, I talked, um, I talked with, um, Jeff Dorina, who you're going to hear

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from pretty soon. I'm next month, I believe. And he, and like these people, I would not

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have meant otherwise, met otherwise, but I, well, John Stongi was through mutual friends,

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Jeff Dorina. I, I sought him out on my own as a mentor in the coaching space, but there's

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like, there's so much, there's so much value in mentorship and so much value in growing

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your network by asking that question. Who do you know that I should know? So guys, I

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hope you enjoyed this whole episode on mentor mentorship. I actually really enjoyed talking

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about this topic. So if you liked it, let me know the comments on Spotify and YouTube

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or wherever you can leave the comment. Let me know if you liked this episode. I'd really

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appreciate it. And guys, thank you again for listening to this episode. If you liked it,

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please give this podcast a five star review on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you

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can rate and rate podcasts. And again, leave a like subscribe. I am guys, I need, I really,

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I would love it if you would subscribe to the podcast. If you're not subscribed already,

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that would be a great, great free way to support the podcast. All right guys, I'll see you

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in the next episode. See ya.