Welcome back to part two. Here we continue to embark on a profound exploration of purpose
through the lens of our special guest, Kendall Major, in our new series, Why Are You Here?
She candidly shares personal struggles, highlighting her battle with mental health and her journey
to discover purpose as a wife. Kendall, a powerhouse in her own right, continues to
offer unique insights into finding purpose among life's challenges. Together, we unravel
the transformative power of faith, intentional love, and an eternal mindset. It's a captivating
journey that promises not only self-reflection, but also the inspiration to embrace a purpose-driven
life. All right, guys, see in there, take some notes.
Thank you for joining us for this episode. But before we dive in, we got something to
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We're kind of touching on it before, Kendall, and you talked a little bit about how you
struggled with your purpose in the beginning. Yeah. So could you dive a little bit deeper
into that? Yeah. I think for me, like you guys both kind of know, probably know a lot
of my story and my testimony, but from a very young age, I just really struggled with mental
health and had really bad anxiety and really bad depression and had attempted to take my
life a couple of times and all of those things. And so when I say I really felt like I had
no worth and no value, it's like that was my life from a very young age, just starting
that off and really being like, what am I even supposed to do with my life? I constantly
am nervous and terrified of everything, terrified of people, had such bad social anxiety, could
not have conversations with people, could not go and introduce myself to people, always
had to have somebody with me. And so I was terrified of everything, but also always just
exhausted and down, just depressed. And so I had tried so many things, trying to just
find my purpose, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life and all
of these things, nothing ever really seemed to work or make sense. It just always, I don't
know. And so I just got to this point where I really was like, okay, I've tried so many
of these things and nothing ever seems, like I said, fulfilling, nothing ever gives me
peace. I'm still super anxious, still really depressed, all of these things. And I just
didn't know what purpose was. And I think I really thought it was things I was supposed
to do. And so as I got older, I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to college for and
what is my purpose in life and all of these things, what am I going to do? All of them
seeming really exhausting to me and really intimidating and really scary. And just kind
of was like, I don't feel like I'm good at anything. I don't feel like, just kind of
really, really confused. And I just got to the point where I was like, I've tried so
many things. And so I kind of, growing up in church, but not really listening and not
really living it out, I just got to this point where I was like, okay. And I just prayed
and I was like, God, I have heard about you my whole life and you probably know what I'm
going through right now and all these things. Cause at this point I was at the lowest point
because I was like, I have no worth and I have no value and there's no point of my life.
There's no point in me being here. And I kind of was just like, okay, God, if you actually
have something for my life, then I just need you to show up and I just need you to change
my life. And I basically for a hundred days was like every single day I'm going to get
up and I'm going to pray and I'm going to read my Bible and I'm going to journal a prayer
to you. And it was so quickly within those a hundred days. I can't even, I think I started
that in March and I think by May or June, my anxiety was gone. My depression was gone.
All those things, my life was completely changed and transformed. And so that's like this free
thing. And it's like, I finally am like, I feel like I have some type of value, but it's
still like these old thought processes that I'm like fighting through, like all these
old habits and all old mindsets where it's kind of just like, that's just how my brain
had wired itself. Or I'm like, I would find myself in moments where I would still be like,
I have no value or like, oh, well now I'm a Christian and so I'm doing this thing, but
that's like, that has to be like my purpose. And like, that has to be the thing I do. And
it all became so like also focused on my feelings, but also focused on like what I'm doing and
not really like just being centered on him. And so I think it was really hard, like just
different discouragement and stuff like that, like from other people, me just being like,
okay, well I kind of thought that maybe this was my purpose and you're telling me this
and you're telling me this. And so it's all like so shakeable like for me, because it
wasn't like, I wasn't really fully set on like that foundation yet. I was still really
figuring it out. And I feel like that was in 2016 that I gave my life to Jesus and now
it's 2024. And I feel like even within like the past two, three years, like the Lord has
really been revealing to me more of just like what that even looks like. And so it's not
even like always like an immediate change. But I think for me, there was like this peace
and this joy because I was like, okay, like I know he's changed my life and I know that
he's real and I know that like he's doing something. I don't know what it is, but like
I know that he's doing something. And I was able to see even in, even when I still didn't
know like what I wanted to do with my life, I was able to see in moments of me just sharing
my testimony of me sharing the things that I'd gone through with my anxiety and my depression
and all those things, I was able to see how the Lord was using it and how I was able to
love people differently because I had gone through things. And so it wasn't something
anymore that I was so angry at the world, but it was stuff where I was like, like I
was able to be like empathetic and put myself in other people's shoes and be like, this
is what they're going through. And so because I've gone through that, like I can like go
with it and like go with them, like through it, like help them through it and just be
there like present with them. And so I feel like looking back, the Lord is really showing
me like your purpose. Like it's really just like as long as you love me and I am your
focus, like all of the other things are going to fall into place and I'm going to tell you
when I want you to go and I'm going to tell you where I want you to speak and where I
want you to move and where all of these things. But my purpose really just became like, okay,
an overflow of like, man, like he really loves me. Like, like the decisions I made and the
things that I did, like when I was a teenager and like growing up, like all of those things,
I'm like, there is no reason as to why like this perfect God should love me. You know,
like, I'm like, I was awful. I was not nice. I was not patient. I was not any of these
things. Like I was like not, I just was awful and like just made really bad decisions that
I knew weren't right, but I just continued to make them anyway. And I'm like, man, like
the fact that God still loved me, I'm like, I want to live every single second of my life
loving other people and like loving him back, you know, and seeing what can come from that.
And so it took definitely a long time to rewire those old thought processes of what my purpose
was thinking it was all me doing. And now I'm like, I get to do because I know like who
he is and I know his love. And so I think that like for me is kind of how I figured
out like my purpose and all that kind of stuff. And now I'm like, every day it can look different
of different things that I like to do and like different people I like get to love and
I get to take care of and all those things. And I'm like, that's great. And it's like,
I'm not so focused on, well, I have to do it this way or in this exact setting or all
that. But I'm like, I get to live out my purpose and in grocery store, I get to live out my
purpose. Like when I'm changing my kids diapers, like I get to live out my purpose, like through
all those things, because I just love him and I get to love people in the process, you
know, so um, yeah, that's kind of like for me what that looked like of me figuring out
like what my purpose even was and what it even meant for me. So yeah,
That's so deep.
I love Sean.
So for our next question, how would you say did you live out your purpose as a godly woman
bringing into a wife for the single ladies out there? You can take notes on this.
Yeah. Um, well, I'm saying like my purpose in life is to love God and to love people.
And that means that through my marriage, like I need to love God first and love Brandon
as an overflow. And um, it's definitely like, I'm not perfect at it, you know, like there
are definitely moments where I am, like, more quick to like, be argumentative or like not
be as loving as I know that I should be. And so I definitely, I'm like, you know, still
navigating and like figuring it out. And I think that's just more of like, I think that
that is more of me just being like, okay, God, like even more like I need you. Like,
like I know that some of my responses are not the way that I want to respond to like,
God, I just need you in those moments then. And so just continuing to love God first and
continuing to say like, in moments being like, okay, God, like, let me just see them as like
somebody that you have created them to be. And even just like praying like through the
process. And I think even just being like, okay, God, continue to shape me and mold me
into who I'm supposed to be, you know, into looking more and more like you. And so because
like marriage, it's like, you're like doing life together, you know, it's like, it's not
just like, like the friendships that I've known where it's like, okay, like we hang
out for a couple of hours and like, we'll go to church together and all that kind of
stuff. And then we're like home and we're like separate. And it's like, we can text
each other, but it's like different. It's like marriage is like you are like, like not
together all the time, but it's like you're like living together and you're like molding
your lives together and like figuring out all of the things like navigating like the
highs and the lows and, and work stuff and family stuff and all those things. And so
I think it really is just like, I feel like my prayer just more and more so lately is
like, God, like I need you, like I need more of you in order to like love him more. But
then also, like I said, like our marriage, like with like, we want our marriage to have
a purpose. And so we want there to be a purpose in like, like we're loving God first and loving
each other out of an overflow, but also it's not just ending there, but we're having that
eternal mindset where it's like, okay, like we're not just always hanging out together.
Like we're not just always just about us, but it's like, we are serving in church, like
Brandon's on staff at church, like he's a pastor. And so like, like we're, we're serving
at church because we know that there are other people that need to encounter Jesus and we're
being intentional with relationships and discipling and pouring into people and all of those things,
because it's not just about at the end of our lives, we got to be married for however
long before we are going to heaven, you know? But it's like, man, like what can come from
that? Like there is so much time, like we can have so much time here that like can mean
a difference if we really just say, God, I love you. And so help me to love people better.
And so our marriage cannot just be about us because then really, I think for me, I'm just
like, I don't want to say like a waste, but also I'm like, man, like we, like as a single
person, like I believe that when I was single, that I was able to do what I needed to do
as a single person. And now as a married woman, I'm like, I, there are more things that I'm
able to do now that like there were things when I was single that I'm like, okay, I'm
able to do more things now because I'm not married and now I'm married and I'm like,
there are, there are things that I'm able to do more now because I am. And so it's just
the ministry just looks different, you know? But it's like, there is, there has to be like
a reason for it and not just the, okay, we're just going to make it all about us and like
us having fun and going and traveling and all those things. But it's like, man, like
we can be a part of like the world looking different and people's lives being different.
And so it can't just be about us. So that's purpose with marriage in my thoughts.
That's good. And say one thing, well maybe more than one, but that's not just for the
woman. That's where the guys do for sure. Guys take notes. Go back and take notes.
But I think like it also doesn't just go for like, there's, you know, you can think of
every single aspect of, of that single dating. Like there's a, this awesome sermon series
by a pastor Ben Stewart. Ben Stewart. Ben Stewart. Ben Stewart. He has a book on it.
Oh does it? It's a book too. So yeah, it's so good. He has the like sermon series. So
he's like, I'm like, he's like a relationship pro, you know, like he's phenomenal. Brandon
and I like went through like a relationship series like of his before we got married.
And I feel like it created so many like really great conversations. So yeah, big fan of Ben
Stewart. Yeah. Yeah. And like, the reason I want to bring that up is because there's
purpose and you had a purposely date as well. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't have, I mean, I also
don't have too much experience, but uh, but like with, but I do the wrong ways and the
wrong ways. Terrible. But like search, but search, but having like the purposeful, um,
searching for a guy or searching for the woman with purposefully in my mind, it's like searching
for the woman that you believe like that you, that will compliment you and you will compliment
back. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And if Christian says like, well, who's going to like, if you
chase God together, if you don't believe the same thing about eternity, then it's going
to be kind of weird. But, um, I think I like that point. Um, I think for all the listeners
out there, especially the Christians, but even the people who are not Christians, you
should definitely date for a purpose and your purpose should be to marry that person. You
should not date to just date. I think that's the worst thing society has. I think that
teaches people that there is divorces. Okay. Really quickly, like without like issues,
obviously there's a reason for divorce for some reasons, but it shouldn't be like, Oh,
we don't like we're mad at each other. Say it's over. Like, you know, I mean, it has
to be more deeper than that for divorce, but I think dating without a purpose is what led
society to a high rate of divorce.
But, uh, cause I was thinking about actually thinking about, um, this, the way I think
God constructed my purpose and I think it's still happening. Um, to see if I can formulate
this question. Um, I feel like I know at least a short answer to this, what you're going
to say, but like, I like, I wonder what the longer answer is. Do you think even before,
or even if you don't believe in God, that God is still working, God is still working
to work that purpose out in your life? Um, I think that God's not going to like force
anything, you know, but I, um, like McKayla and I are talking about, um, like this one
person that we know that we're like, we can like see like the way that they like love
people and welcome people that I'm like, I feel like, like, even though like they're
not a Christian, I'm like, I feel like there is so much like love that comes from them,
you know? And so I think that there is, I think that there are purpose, like there's
a purpose for like every single person that is in the world. And I think that, um, I think,
I think for me, like, I want to say like, there is a purpose for everyone. I think that
me like stepping into like just whatever God had for me, I think that there is more fulfillment
and a totally different understanding of what my purpose is because of me following Jesus.
Um, but I do think that like, I do think that like God can still use people that like may
not have like given their lives to Jesus. And I think that he can still like, because
I think I can like look back at even my life and I'm like, even when I didn't know Jesus,
I do feel like the Lord was like using me and I can look back and be like, oh, that
was so God like working in like that was so God like, because he can do anything, you
know? And so the conversations that like we can have, like even if somebody doesn't follow
Jesus and doesn't know Jesus, like it can still leave other people being like, oh, I've
felt so loved, like just talking to them and felt so like seen like cared for. And so I
definitely think that like God, I think that there are still is a purpose for each of our
lives. And I think that God can still like use things that, um, we say or that we, um,
maybe do or go through. Um, and so I think it's, I think he's not going to like force
like, we are good at this, so you have to use it for me. And like, you have to do this.
But I definitely think that he can still work through like so many different things and
so many people like beyond just Christians. Yeah. So that's really good. I'm gonna have
to touch upon this. There was this story by one of my favorite pastors, um, forget his
name right now. Sorry, I follow you. Um, but anyways, it was like a woman who was hungry,
right? Her house, she had no food and she prayed to God very loudly that she would have
food. So her neighbor bought food who he's an atheist. He did it just be spiteful. He
bought food and then put everything that she asked for, um, on her porch. And then he rang
the buzzer. And then when she opened it, she said, thank you, God, you answered my prayer.
And then the atheist popped out the bushes and he said, see, there is no God. And I did
this for you. That would be a prime example of how God could use anybody to think, to,
um, do your, I would say to accomplish whatever goal he had. She needed that food. He thought
he just did it on his own will to be spiteful. Yeah. But God used it for the good. So that
lady got food. Yeah. Yeah. I think the Lord can use anything. Yeah. Like, because he's
so, we can't just like limit him to just what we can even imagine or like what we have seen.
But I think that he can use anything and work through anything or any situation or conversation.
So that's just who he is. It's just everywhere all the time doing all the things. So yeah.
So there's a more thing I could dive into, but I might save it for a Sean and I solo
episode because we can dive into our own purposes in there and a little bit more. But, um, uh,
yeah, I think it's a good time to wrap it up around about close to the 50 minute mark.
So yeah. Yeah. Um, so Kendall asked, uh, same couple questions to everyone just to wrap
things up. Um, what are some, like when it comes to either personal growth or in this
case purpose, um, what are some resources that you would recommend to people? Books,
podcasts, whatever. Um, so I really, when it comes to podcasts, I really just listen
to you guys and then I listened to my sister, Micaela, and then I listened to Josh and Brandon's
podcast. Um, so I can't be like, oh my goodness, this podcast, this podcast. Um, no, you absolutely
could. You can tell them. Yeah. I'm like, those are like the podcasts I like really
gotten like listened to. And as far as reading, I'm really not a great reader or I don't like
read as much nearly as I want to. Um, but I think as far as like, I think just even guidance
and sometimes like direction from like other like pastors and stuff like that, like I'll
like read from like Levi Lesko. Like I love his books. Like I love Ben Stewart's books.
Um, and so I think any of those, like I love that. I'm like Louie Giglio. I think it has
so much wisdom. Um, and so I think being able to like read from like other Christians, like
those are like probably like top, I think I said three, um, top three, like pastors,
like authors. Um, I think that they, like they, all three of them have covered so many
different things as far as like relationships or even just like grief and um, like figuring
out like, like I think even like Louie Giglio has one that's like not forsaken. And I feel
like that one really helps you to kind of like sort out like, okay, like my identity,
like stuff like that. And so I think that those have all been like really like influential
like books, um, for me. Um, and then as far as purpose, I'm like, this is going to be
such the cheesy, like stereotypical Christian answer, but I'm like, I really cannot find
my purpose in anything other than like the word, the Bible, you know? And so I'm like,
I feel like when it comes to purpose, it's like, I don't want to find it like through
a book. I think that there are quotes, like we read like John Maxwell and um, I think
that there are quotes and things that they can like say that like brings a lot of wisdom
to purpose, but I don't want to even find my purpose just in what they're saying, but
I want to all come back to the word and compare to the word. And so, um, just letting that
be how the Lord is speaking to me of what he has for my life and how he wants to continue
to use me. Um, but also just what my identity is in him. So I feel like that wasn't a great
answer to that question, but, um, not like the Bible, the Bible is the best answer, you
know? Um, but I like, don't really feel like podcasts or like book wise that I really answered
that like, I'm not going to use all these things, but, um, I think you did good. You
did, um, we'll do a shout out for who needs a name. Okay. Bible bros. And um, paradox
and pre-perceptive. There we go. Yeah. And sorry, Michaela messed up. And we have, uh,
any book specifically you would like recommend besides our Lord and savior, the Bible. Um,
I really do think I mentioned this one, not forsaken by Louie Giglio. I think, um, he
even starts off the book by saying like the, like the most important thing about you is
what you think when you think of the Lord. And so I feel like that one was really like
life changing for me of just figuring out more of like my identity and like figuring
out like who God is to me as like a father and sorting through like all of those things
and all of life and events and all the things. So, um, I think that that one, I would definitely
recommend. I think it's a phenomenal book. And I think that it really, I think that Louie
Giglio did a really great job of just reflecting like the father's heart for his kids through
that book. So yeah, I definitely recommend. That's good. Yeah. All right. So Kendall,
who would you like to have on that next episode of our podcasts? Hmm. I had three earlier
and now I can't, okay. I remember all of them. Um, I don't remember if we mentioned this
one the last time we were here. I think Silas would be great. Come on, Silas get on here.
Silas has so much good sound. He's insane. Um, I also think David. Yes, David Callahan.
He's insane too. Um, anytime that he would lead rally, we would, I would always be like
screaming after. Um, so I think that he would be a really good person to have on here. And
I also think Meg Croyle. Meg is a powerhouse. And so I feel like any of those three, if
we got any of those three on here, I feel like they would all be really solid. We're
going to do our best and fight all three of them. We will. That sounds amazing. We'll
have to reach out to Silas again because he said no the first time. Silas. Come on. David
also said no at one point. Whenever I asked him, I did for sure. I never, I don't know.
I didn't know that. Well, now there's a little bit more pressure because I've said it in
the podcast. Yes. So now they'll be listening. And I didn't know that you asked either of
them, but I, when I was thinking about that question today, that was that in the intro,
I was really thinking through and I'm like David and Silas and Meg, I think all three
of them have a lot to bring to the podcast. So awesome actually. This season just get
better. Because you bring people on because you know they have something to say. Yep.
And all three of them. Wow. Here we go. That's so powerful. Well, all right guys. Thank you
for listening to this episode of Technically Short. If you listen, thank you for listening
to probably this is now the end of part two, but so we, yeah, we appreciate you listening
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