1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,440 Hey guys, thank you for joining us for this episode. 2 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:13,520 But before we dive in, we got something to tell you. 3 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:14,520 We got merch! 4 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:19,480 Yeah guys, we have t-shirts, we have hoodies. 5 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,840 T-shirts are $19.99. 6 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,880 And hoodies $39.99. 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:34,520 And guys, if you want it, you can DM us on our Instagram, technically.short. 8 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,520 Or if you know us personally, you can shoot us a text message. 9 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,440 But yeah, see you in the episode. 10 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,320 See you in the episode. 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,920 Hello Technically Short fans! 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:52,080 In this episode, we delve into the depths of marriage, leadership, and personal growth 13 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,240 with our special guest, Chaz DuBois. 14 00:00:55,240 --> 00:01:02,760 Sharing our experiences, we explore overcoming challenges, maintaining excellence, and fostering 15 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,480 strong family bonds. 16 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:11,320 From battling substance abuse to the transformative power of mentorship, we discover practical 17 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,120 tips for success. 18 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:21,080 Learn how to bring excellence to your marriage and navigate a successful career transition. 19 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:27,720 Tune in for insights on staying culturally aware, being flexible, and taking calculated 20 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,520 risks. 21 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:34,240 Join us on this journey of personal and professional growth. 22 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,920 Hey guys, I'm Shawn. 23 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:38,920 I'm Thomas. 24 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,360 And this is Technically Short. 25 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,160 Today's episode, we have a special guest that you're going to love. 26 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,680 Yeah, today we have Chaz DuBois. 27 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:47,680 Say hi. 28 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,480 Hi guys, thanks for having me. 29 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:56,600 Alright, so Chaz has been on, hasn't been on before obviously, but he was recommended 30 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:02,480 to us by like last but not least Mike Wallace and I don't know if you listened to that episode 31 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,880 when he mentioned you, but he said like he was the first person that popped in his mind. 32 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:12,200 He said he wasn't prompted because I didn't even send him the question beforehand. 33 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:16,720 So I just gave, I just asked, he was like, you were the first person to pop up. 34 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:21,840 He said like you're one of the most amazing guys in his life. 35 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:26,000 So if you haven't listened to it Chaz, you probably should listen to at least part two. 36 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,880 Sounds like a plan. 37 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,880 But yeah, and I didn't write him down this time. 38 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:37,080 But typically we like whenever we have a guest, you know, we always start with the intro and 39 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,760 give people a little bit more of an idea of who you are, who we see you to be. 40 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,440 We like to give some a little bit of exaltations. 41 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,400 Typically I have them written down. 42 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,240 So this will be right off the cuff. 43 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:55,000 But like, whenever I think Chaz, the first thing that's probably in my mind right now 44 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,920 is just a great dad. 45 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:10,480 Because I got to see you with Olivia and Charlie and like, and then you had your twins. 46 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:18,000 Like it was the same story that my parents had whenever they had my youngest sisters. 47 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,920 They thought they were getting one and they were like, we'll have four. 48 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:21,920 That's it. 49 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,920 And then, you know, there's two. 50 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:28,880 Turned your world upside down in the best possible way. 51 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:34,600 And you're going to hear like secondhand from somebody else that Emily said she would do 52 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,600 it again. 53 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,800 We literally just had this conversation this afternoon. 54 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,880 And people think we've never been one to care about what other people think necessarily. 55 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:44,880 Right? 56 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,760 Like there's definitely leaders in our lives that we do care about their opinion. 57 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:52,120 But like, plenty of people think that we're crazy for having four kids in the first place. 58 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,400 But the thought that, you know, we would totally do that again. 59 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,400 Not right now. 60 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,080 And maybe they're not even our own children. 61 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:02,920 But like maybe in the future we'll be called to care for somebody else's children. 62 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,040 If that were to happen tomorrow, our doors wide open. 63 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,960 Like without even thinking twice. 64 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,280 Are we going to try to have our own children again next year? 65 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,280 No. 66 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:18,920 But I also, we both mutually agree that I don't think our family's done yet. 67 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:19,920 Lovely. 68 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:20,920 That's awesome. 69 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,920 And oh yeah, that's good. 70 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:30,800 But the other thing that's probably in my head was being that you're extremely community 71 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,800 focused. 72 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:36,800 And on top of that, like it's serving in that community, but it's not just serving. 73 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:42,640 It's also being, it's also knowing that sometimes you also have to let yourself be served. 74 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,640 Yeah. 75 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:48,640 And that's something like in coming into like, because being in, being in the men's small 76 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,960 group and like knowing the time frame you do get there. 77 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:56,960 I'm seeing like, you might be like exhausted, but you're like, but there are days when you're 78 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,760 like, no, I needed to be here today. 79 00:04:58,760 --> 00:04:59,760 Yeah. 80 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:00,760 100%. 81 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:06,240 Like, and I think you're one of the people that exemplifies that a lot. 82 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,680 And it's visible. 83 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,760 So that's definitely what pops in my mind. 84 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:17,240 Like I said, a great dad and a very community focused servant leader. 85 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,240 Thank you. 86 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,240 Yeah. 87 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:26,040 For my excellent ation, I can't never say the word, but if I had to describe Chaz, Chaz, 88 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,880 excellent father, godly man, but he has the heart of a servant. 89 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,600 Like he always has a heart for like, whoever's in need. 90 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,940 He's like, okay, I'm going to do whatever I got to do so that person can get wherever 91 00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:43,840 God told me to, did they need to do or whatever they need, I'll provide. 92 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:50,700 Like God has always been such a big, like part of how I see Chaz because Chaz is a really 93 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:51,880 like humble guy. 94 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,680 Like coolest guy you'll ever meet. 95 00:05:54,680 --> 00:06:01,040 He's down, he's just humble, but he has a heart where he would just pour out and it's 96 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,040 amazing. 97 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:07,920 So if I could describe Chaz, he'd be a godly warrior, awesome guy. 98 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,760 And I would say like action pack. 99 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:15,720 A lot of things that you don't know about Chaz, like he used to do, he rode when he 100 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,720 was like a kid. 101 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:22,480 I remember riding like dirt bikes or something with like some famous crowd or something. 102 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:27,040 I'll let him tell the story of his life, but I know a little piece of piece, but it's awesome. 103 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,240 I can just say Chaz is an awesome guy for real. 104 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,240 Thanks, Shawn. 105 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,240 No problem. 106 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,240 I love you, man. 107 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,240 And Thomas. 108 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,240 I love both of you guys. 109 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,240 Yeah, I love you, man. 110 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:42,880 And since we gave you a bit of an intro, who would you say Chaz Du Bois is? 111 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:48,440 I have to start with, I am a follower of Christ, first and foremost. 112 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:53,400 From the time that I committed to being a follower, my life has been flipped upside 113 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,400 down in all the best possible ways. 114 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,480 Next to that, I'm a loving husband. 115 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:07,480 My wife, Emily of 15 years, was the best thing that's ever happened to me. 116 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,640 And then a loving and devoted father. 117 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:15,520 I've got four kids, Charlie, Olivia, Elijah and Samuel. 118 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,640 My crowning achievements in life. 119 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:21,160 And it gets me choked up. 120 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,080 For the longest time, I didn't think I was ready to have kids. 121 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,640 And I didn't feel like I was responsible enough to have kids. 122 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,320 And it scared me to death. 123 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,720 And then we got pregnant with Charlie. 124 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:36,560 And I'm still figuring myself out at that point. 125 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,280 I was not the best version of myself. 126 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,200 And for that matter, I'm still not the best version of myself. 127 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,600 It's ever evolving and it's a process, right? 128 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,680 You're going to be the best person you can be. 129 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:55,040 But hands down, the best thing I've ever done in my life is having these kids and getting 130 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,880 a chance to change the world through them. 131 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:05,280 Besides that, besides the emotional part, let's see, I spent a large portion of my life 132 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,160 working in the cycling industry. 133 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:15,160 From being a 13 year old bike shop kid taking out the garbage to managing a multi-chain 134 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:25,800 bike shop to owning my own bicycle shop to taking a part time job in a warehouse just 135 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,920 so that we could provide a Christmas for Charlie that year. 136 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:34,320 That part time job, I loved it in the beginning because it was just so mindless. 137 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:40,280 I could go to work, move boxes, sometimes walk 40 miles in a day. 138 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:44,840 It sounds crazy, but if you work a 12 hour a day, you could easily walk 30 to 40 miles 139 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:49,720 throughout the course of the warehouse and then get a paycheck for it. 140 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:55,400 There's a lot of people who are really good at owning a business and loving the open endedness 141 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,120 of the income that can come from owning your own business. 142 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,120 I am not that person. 143 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,600 I yearn to be that person. 144 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,880 I would love to have unlimited income potential. 145 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:10,240 However, I also appreciate knowing that I have a paycheck coming on Friday or a paycheck 146 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,320 coming at the end of the month now. 147 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:17,880 I get paid monthly, so that was an adjustment, but knowing that I can count on X, Y, or Z 148 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:18,880 to be there. 149 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,960 Let's see, I've been with my current company now for eight years. 150 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:27,000 Just over eight years, I just had my eight year anniversary two weeks ago. 151 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:33,360 Like I said, I started as a part time seasonal person making a little over $10 an hour. 152 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:40,240 Somebody saw something in me, my work ethic, maybe my ability to follow direction. 153 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,560 I don't know. 154 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:48,600 It gave me a chance and I got the ultimate opportunity to change my life through this. 155 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:52,760 It went from a part time job just so we had a little bit of money to buy some toys for 156 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:59,240 a one year old to absolutely changing my life, my kids' lives, our future. 157 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,720 We're now able to help other people. 158 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,400 I now run a warehouse for this company. 159 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:09,160 Worked my way up through the ranks, spent a little bit of time working in Cleveland, 160 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,600 made some new family members in Cleveland through that process. 161 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:20,120 Got to come back to Pittsburgh and now I actually run a building similar to where I started. 162 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:26,360 It's just been incredible to be able to help other people change their lives the way that 163 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,520 somebody did for me eight years ago. 164 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,520 Wow. 165 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:34,360 To be honest, that's a lot of time for me. 166 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:42,640 I have the same kind of story with serving production and even being just a volunteer 167 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:47,240 lead on that team, I wouldn't have ever put myself in that position. 168 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,320 It was because we were talking about them earlier before recording, but Pastor Kells 169 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:57,320 saw something in me that I didn't see myself and Pastor Ed did the same thing. 170 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,480 Then Mike Dedominic did the same thing. 171 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,320 They all started seeing things in me that I didn't see myself. 172 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:12,920 They kept putting me in positions where eventually I was hired by the church for a time to build 173 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:18,880 community in the production team and even be able to go to our Philadelphia campus and 174 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,600 help with production there. 175 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,400 Whenever you're in that kind of community where people are seeing things in you that 176 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:34,520 you're not seeing yourself, like you said, the craziest things happen. 177 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,440 I am expecting more of that stuff to happen in my life and expecting more things like 178 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,880 that to happen in yours because there's always things we don't know about ourselves that 179 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,600 other people are going to notice. 180 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:48,360 I think it brings to my mind the concept of blind spots, but typically people think blind 181 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:52,280 spots are... Most of the time they're negative when people bring them up, but it's thought 182 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,560 maybe it's positive ones as well. 183 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,560 100%. 184 00:11:55,560 --> 00:12:02,240 It's really cool when people point those positive ones out and they exalt you for those things 185 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,240 that you're just like, oh, this is my norm. 186 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,240 This is normal to me. 187 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,720 It's not that big of a deal. 188 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,240 They're like, no, that was great. 189 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,720 Think it's sometimes like a quirk. 190 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:16,120 Yeah, I'm good at whatever numbers or yeah, I'm good at reading some of these emotions. 191 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,120 Yeah. 192 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,840 No, that could be a skill. 193 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:23,960 That could absolutely be something that you could use to make the world a better place. 194 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,000 That's a really good point though. 195 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,760 I don't think that I've ever thought of blind spots in a positive way like that. 196 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,480 I think community is mission critical, especially as men of God. 197 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:38,000 We need other Godly men around us to build us up, to help us. 198 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,440 Sometimes it's like, maybe you say something off the cuff and you're like, whoa, dude, 199 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,440 hold on. 200 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,440 You got to be careful the words you speak. 201 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,520 You got to be careful the words you speak about yourself. 202 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,560 It's obvious you have to be careful the words you speak about the people around you, but 203 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,640 even more so you have to be careful about the words that you're speaking over your life, 204 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,000 over your friend's lives, over your children's lives, over your spouse's life. 205 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,200 Some of the men in my life have absolutely helped me personally in that way. 206 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,200 But that's like the traditional blind spot, right? 207 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,440 Like the negativity side. 208 00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:15,560 I think the positive blind spot where it helps pull a natural talent of yours out is huge. 209 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,560 That's a really good point. 210 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:25,960 It rolled in my mind because I listened to a lot of John Maxwell stuff. 211 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,960 We talk about him a lot. 212 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:33,160 That's one of the things he mentioned is you're not going to see your own blind spots. 213 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:40,720 A lot of times it's pointing out the things that are holding you back in your leadership 214 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,720 in that respect. 215 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:50,080 That connection was just like blind or think you're missing something, which you are if 216 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,080 it's positive too. 217 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:57,560 We don't have to keep going down that hole. 218 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:03,080 You already touched on it about that you're an employee for one of the largest online 219 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:08,800 real tailors and that you moved up to ranks and it took a while for you to get to where 220 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,800 you're at now. 221 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:16,800 You're in the industry for eight years, right? 222 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:23,440 This is a, we haven't mentioned it yet, but this is the series on excellence called Perfectly 223 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:33,140 Imperfect and part something 12, 13, 14, 17. 224 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:38,960 From your own perspective, what role did or does excellence play in your current position? 225 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:45,720 Or even what role did excellence play to get to your position? 226 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:52,440 I think having a desire to have excellence. 227 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:57,280 The company that I work for has grown rapidly in the big picture. 228 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:07,000 I think they've been able to do so by allowing themselves to not be excellent. 229 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:14,800 What I mean by that is you can't change the world by being perfect because you're never 230 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,480 going to be perfect in the first place. 231 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,320 It's going to take a while to gain that excellence. 232 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:26,360 It's going to take a while to not be perfect in every way, but to allow others around you, 233 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,960 to allow yourself. 234 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:35,720 I'm really bad at beating myself up over things that I've done wrong, the missteps I've had. 235 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:41,080 Allowing yourself, giving yourself that grace to keep moving forward. 236 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,160 You're never going to move forward without some missteps, without some failures. 237 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:50,000 The key thing is for me, not failing the same way twice. 238 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,600 It's super corny and cliche, but failing forward. 239 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,040 People say you got to fail forward. 240 00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,100 I have not failed forward in everything that I failed in, 100%. 241 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:04,040 We could have multiple episodes on that alone. 242 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:08,800 What's changed me as a leader over the last eight years is learning to not dwell on those 243 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,800 failures. 244 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:10,800 Cool, we failed. 245 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,840 Where did we fail? 246 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:13,840 Sometimes there's a post-mortem. 247 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,840 You got to figure out where these failures are depending on their size and scope. 248 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:21,320 Then just making sure that we don't misstep that way in the future. 249 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:26,640 To me, the first part in excellence for me is earning the trust of my team. 250 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,000 I am not a perfect person. 251 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,840 I am not a perfect leader, nor do I claim to have all the answers. 252 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:40,560 Having strong people around me, empowering them, taking feedback and learning to not 253 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,920 take it as personal. 254 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,080 I'm still not great at that. 255 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,600 I take a lot of things personal. 256 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,860 I know that that's an opportunity of mine and I'm still working on that part. 257 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:52,520 Take the feedback as it is and keep moving forward. 258 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,600 You got to keep moving forward. 259 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,560 That's how you strive for excellence. 260 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,280 That's maybe how you achieve excellence in certain parts of your life. 261 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,840 You're going to fail at some point, learning from those failures and doing everything you 262 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,360 can to not duplicate. 263 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,760 Keep moving forward past it. 264 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,880 Wow, that's so good. 265 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:14,600 Honestly, that brings me back to what you were talking about, learning how to fail. 266 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:19,520 That could actually be a whole episode just in itself. 267 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:24,480 The wise words of Andrew Tate, I have to actually give the guy credit for these words. 268 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:31,880 He actually said, God teaches us to either learn it the hard way or learn it the hardest 269 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:37,200 way is for the people who don't understand that when you make a mistake and not learn 270 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,920 from it, you end up learning the hardest way rather than just the hard way when you mess 271 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,920 up. 272 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:48,080 It was really like to think about failing forward. 273 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,600 We're all going to fail. 274 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,200 What are you going to do with that failure? 275 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,400 Some people let that failure build on them. 276 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,280 Other people use that failure to build. 277 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,280 Yeah. 278 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:04,400 John Maxwell says sometimes he has a book called, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. 279 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:10,120 The whole concept is not really calling failure, but seeing it as a learning opportunity. 280 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,600 That's the reality, right? 281 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,440 To strive for excellence is to learn that. 282 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,560 Nothing's a failure. 283 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,640 No one's a failure. 284 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:23,320 It's just what you learn from those missteps, from those failures. 285 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:27,080 Maybe we don't call them failures, but what you learn from the things that didn't turn 286 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,640 out the way they're supposed to be. 287 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,960 They're all learning experiences. 288 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,120 Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. 289 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,120 You're always learning. 290 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,760 You should always be learning. 291 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,960 There's something to be learned even in a win. 292 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:46,560 I think to that respect, you learn more when you fail. 293 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,040 When you miss... Right. 294 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,040 That's the goal. 295 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,040 That should be the goal. 296 00:18:53,040 --> 00:19:00,840 I've set so many goals for myself that were super overzealous. 297 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,600 I didn't reach them 99% of the time. 298 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:09,680 At the time, I was disappointed in myself, but I can now look back and realize I actually 299 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:13,760 learned a ton of stuff to get to that quote unquote failure. 300 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:21,120 I heard somebody say just yesterday or whenever, but you get to take that stuff with you. 301 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,680 Everything you learn, you still have that. 302 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:28,840 You have a choice if you want to take it with you and how you take it with you. 303 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,520 Are you going to take it with you and use it as a club to beat yourself up with? 304 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,640 Are you going to take it with you as like, this is what I don't do in the future and 305 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,440 just keep moving past it? 306 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:44,200 I like that you even mentioned like excellence. 307 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:50,400 This was said last episode with Pat Williams, recorded last weekend. 308 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,000 He was like, yeah, excellence isn't perfection. 309 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 Sure. 310 00:19:54,000 --> 00:20:00,720 He said, you can't... The community you work for, you can't change the world if it's trying 311 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:05,720 to be perfect through perfection because if you think you're perfect, you're not. 312 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:11,040 If you think you're perfect, you're probably one that furthest from it because there's 313 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,560 so much room for growth, so many things to learn. 314 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,000 Like you said, you're never done. 315 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:23,360 We kind of skipped over it before and we kind of touched on it a little bit, but to me, 316 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:31,000 Bar-Direct, to you, and it's meant to be vague, to you, what is excellence? 317 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,600 I looked that up. 318 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,000 The term, and this didn't help. 319 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,840 Webster's Degenerate didn't help. 320 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:36,840 What is excellence? 321 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,720 It's like the quality of being excellent. 322 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:44,640 Thanks, I got that one. 323 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:53,080 Excellence for me is being able to always be learning, to be able to, at least in my 324 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,000 job, to be able to earn the trust of my team. 325 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:03,880 Excellence to me is maybe not having the top performing building, right? 326 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:04,880 That would be cool. 327 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:11,280 I'd love to say that we're the top of the worldwide scorecard or whatever, but excellence 328 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,360 to me is having a good work culture. 329 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:20,560 In reality, it's something that I've been working against, not against, working to fix 330 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,680 for a long period of time. 331 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:30,320 Certain things that have made small gains with a small group may have created bigger 332 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,680 deficiencies with a larger group of people. 333 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:41,360 Over the last six months to a year, there's been a lot of learning on my end in that regard. 334 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,600 It's not clear cut. 335 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,320 It's not super simple on how to earn the trust of people, right? 336 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,600 There are, look, we're all people. 337 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,780 We all have something going on outside of work. 338 00:21:50,780 --> 00:21:56,040 We all have something going on outside of this relationship, outside of that relationship. 339 00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:01,820 In the way that you respond to a given circumstance may have nothing to do with the Shawn that 340 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:02,820 I know. 341 00:22:02,820 --> 00:22:07,720 It may have a hundred percent to do with the Shawn at home, the Shawn with his parents, 342 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,600 the Shawn whatever, right? 343 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:20,260 I think it's really difficult because in a corporate setting, I can't outwardly profess 344 00:22:20,260 --> 00:22:24,200 Jesus maybe in the way that I would like to, right? 345 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,360 But that does not mean that I can't act as such. 346 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:30,200 I can't love like Jesus, right? 347 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,560 It's strange to say loving people at work, it's work, right? 348 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:41,080 However, giving them grace for being imperfect people because I'm an imperfect person, plenty 349 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:46,760 of people give me grace and the chance to misstep, the chance to get in my emotions. 350 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,960 Sorry, I've kind of gone like way down a rabbit hole. 351 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:57,240 But excellence for me, I think is being able to have grace for each other and to be able 352 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:02,080 to earn each other's trust, to be able to work towards a common goal. 353 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,920 We may not again, completely independent of perfection, but the end game goal might be 354 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,960 getting closer to that, right? 355 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,840 I think that's good. 356 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,400 And do you think like all that plays into that gaining trust of your team? 357 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:21,040 So like it, and I read this down while you were talking, like in that, can you expand 358 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,840 a little bit more on like how you typically go about like this long process typically 359 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,840 of gaining that trust? 360 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:31,440 Yeah, I mean, I try to add a personal aspect to it, right? 361 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,840 Like I don't, I don't, if you walk into my office, you'll find some pictures of my family 362 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:36,840 because they're important to me. 363 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:41,160 They're the reason that I go to work every day, whether I want to be there or not, right? 364 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:49,320 But I try to find out, try to learn about what makes Thomas tick, who Thomas is, right? 365 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,400 Who Shawn is. 366 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:54,880 I've got leaders in my life today and leaders in my life in the past who could care less 367 00:23:54,880 --> 00:24:00,120 who Chaz is outside of work, who Chaz, you know, it's, it's what you're doing for me 368 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,800 right now that's important. 369 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:10,400 And like that, not that, that lack of connection with Chaz the person changes for a lot of 370 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,760 people can change the way that they perform in the building, right? 371 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,600 The way that they, the way that they treat the building, the way that they treat their 372 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,600 coworkers. 373 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,600 Yeah. 374 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:23,960 I think I do genuinely, this has been part of my learning experience over the last eight 375 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:24,960 years. 376 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,400 I always thought I was not a people person. 377 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:33,200 And I, a great leader actually from church said that is 100% wrong. 378 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:38,640 You are 1000% a people person, but it's your people, people person. 379 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,640 Yeah. 380 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:45,800 And it's only because like it's, for me, there was a lot of anxiety in learning and meeting 381 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,520 new people and large groups of people. 382 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,920 And I've spent a lot of time trying to work through that. 383 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:57,320 I'm still not a big crowd person, but we're getting there. 384 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,880 But like I do genuinely love people. 385 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,420 I love talking to people. 386 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:05,720 You know, we've, we've, there's been opportunities to possibly have like a support role where 387 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:10,720 I'm no longer in the operation and I get to work from home and I don't know, like I think 388 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,360 I would struggle way more not having a daily interaction with people. 389 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:18,200 So getting to meet people, learning their names, right? 390 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:22,560 And I was so wrapped up in learning my job that I didn't necessarily spend that time 391 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:26,680 learning my people as much as I should have earlier on. 392 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,960 And I think all that did was set me back, right? 393 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:33,400 I'm coming in at that point as a figurehead and they don't have, you know, they don't 394 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,880 have any faith in me. 395 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:43,440 I'm their boss in that like direct leadership sort of way, not like the team leader that's 396 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,880 driving us all towards a common goal. 397 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:51,580 And I think that that was definitely a big misstep over the last year being so wrapped 398 00:25:51,580 --> 00:25:56,800 up in the details and the, you know, instead of learning my team and spending more time 399 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,460 there. 400 00:25:58,460 --> 00:26:05,720 But I think that's what's, for me is what helps us all kind of move forward, move towards 401 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:10,840 that top tier sort of performance, if that makes sense. 402 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:11,840 Yeah. 403 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,440 Honestly, I think that's why you've grown. 404 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,400 It just shows you where you've grown. 405 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,400 You know what I mean? 406 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:22,840 Like you as a leader before was like, oh, okay, I'm in charge. 407 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:28,200 But now it's like, hey, I'm in charge, but how can I get to know you personally? 408 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,440 So I can, that helps the team that helps you guys reach the goal. 409 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,120 Because if they know who Chaz is, they're going to of course want Chaz as a leader. 410 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:44,600 Because if you know Chaz, you know that how he is as a person is so on par to being Christlike, 411 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,600 you know what I mean? 412 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:53,480 So as on par to being my great father, so on par to being a wise, wise guy that, that 413 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:58,480 you would love to have him as your leader, but they didn't know that before, which is 414 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,040 understandable because you didn't get a chance to like get to know him. 415 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,160 You know what I mean? 416 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,080 On the back half of the very same sentence, right? 417 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,720 As a leader though, you still need to be able to steer the ship. 418 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:11,720 Right? 419 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:17,880 Like I think I also in the same tune, tried to give everybody else their own freedom to 420 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,760 kind of do what not freedom, but 421 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,760 Li Wei? 422 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,720 Yeah, their own Li Wei to be able to lead their way. 423 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,920 And it's when you can clearly see it's not the right way, or it's not the way that you 424 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,600 would lead a group. 425 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,960 As a leader, you should step in and like, I'm not saying come in as the boss and rule 426 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,800 with an iron fist, but it's like, hold on, that's not how we're doing things anymore. 427 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:39,800 Right? 428 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:44,720 And there was definitely some hesitancy on my behalf to do that early on. 429 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:51,880 And I think that when you give somebody a little bit too much freedom, when you don't 430 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,720 necessarily think that they're aligned with the way that you're going, is when things 431 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,160 can go sideways, or you can create division amongst the team. 432 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,160 Thanks. 433 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:01,160 Wow. 434 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,880 Yeah, you have your... 435 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,960 Yeah, I have a bunch of questions, I guess. 436 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,560 But I'll start off with the first one, right? 437 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,520 So Chaz, how do you bring excellence to your community? 438 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,920 How do I bring excellence to my community? 439 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,920 Man, I think it depends on what community. 440 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:18,920 Right? 441 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,800 My community, that's my house, that's my family. 442 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,560 Honesty, love, right? 443 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:32,440 We're not going to be perfect people for my children, right? 444 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,600 I've made lots of missteps, and I've covered them up and hidden them for years from my 445 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:41,680 parents, from my spouse, from whatever, right? 446 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,000 Yeah, sure, you might be able to stray away from it, right? 447 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,440 Excellence isn't about being perfect. 448 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:54,400 Excellence is being able that my son can come to me when he screwed up, and not... 449 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,560 His first intuition not being, oh gosh, how do I hide this from my parents? 450 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:02,360 Oh gosh, how can I get help from my parents to fix this? 451 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:03,560 Right? 452 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,040 I think that's excellence, a part of excellence in our household, right? 453 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,800 We can be honest with each other, that we can lean on each other when we need it, that 454 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,280 we can be honest about our feelings with each other. 455 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:23,640 Excellence in the men's community is to see a guy who is otherwise a, I don't even want 456 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:29,680 to say tough guy, but a guy who looks like he's got it all put together, fall apart and 457 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:35,960 be able to be real with other guys in that room that night, and get stuff off his chest 458 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:40,880 that he hasn't been able to get off his chest in 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years, right? 459 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:45,800 Again, we're not perfect, but seeing what happens when you can get a bunch of guys together 460 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:51,720 that can actually be real and help build up each other, and actually be able to offload 461 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,280 stuff, right? 462 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,320 The amount of weight that can be lifted off of somebody's shoulders by just being able 463 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,960 to be honest with guys who are otherwise not going to judge them, because Shawn can say 464 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:05,600 something that's much in the same way that I might say something, completely different 465 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:10,000 issues, different whatever, but just being able to get that off your chest with a group 466 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,160 of like-minded individuals, that's excellence. 467 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:20,120 That's something that men, especially in today's world, in such a broken world, do so much 468 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:27,760 to cover up their feelings, to cover up, especially in a social media society, right? 469 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,280 You're watching the highlight reel. 470 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,840 Our lives are messy, our lives are messed up. 471 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,600 We've done not great things. 472 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:42,680 To have a group of people that you can be like, hey look, I screwed up, right? 473 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:49,480 For me, that's part of the excellence that I found through our church. 474 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:54,960 By our church, I don't mean an entity, I mean the people, right? 475 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,960 The church saved my life, hands down. 476 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,800 Saved my marriage, hands down. 477 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:08,680 It's not the pastor, it's not a name, it's the men and women of the last eight years 478 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:09,680 of our lives. 479 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,400 Yeah, that's excellence. 480 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:19,440 That's probably the most excellent thing in my life, is those people in my life who showed 481 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:24,840 me what, I don't know, showed me a type of, I don't want to say that I needed no true 482 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:29,040 love before that, but showed me what unconditional love can be. 483 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,280 Man, that was so good. 484 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:37,720 There's a couple different questions that came out of that floating in my head. 485 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:44,760 You talked about your marriage and how the community, the church community that you got 486 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,020 surrounded with saved your marriage. 487 00:31:47,020 --> 00:31:49,760 Would you be okay with diving into that a little bit? 488 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,240 Yeah, I think so. 489 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:58,440 Let's see, we've been married for 15 years, give or take, together almost 20. 490 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:03,320 High level, I've had some substance abuse issues in the past. 491 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:07,040 My wife is a saint, just put that out there. 492 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:15,100 She knows that it wasn't necessarily me, that's not the person I wanted to be, right? 493 00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:16,100 It wasn't. 494 00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:17,320 I said that from the beginning. 495 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,660 I didn't want to be hooked on anything. 496 00:32:20,660 --> 00:32:27,900 I think there's two guys in particular from the church that really helped me by getting 497 00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:37,200 me to come to a recovery meeting at the church and realizing at that point that I did not 498 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,960 need these things in my life. 499 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,160 That wasn't the first fix. 500 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:44,600 That wasn't the final fix. 501 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,160 That was the first fix, right? 502 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:50,960 It took a couple of tries to actually figure it out. 503 00:32:50,960 --> 00:33:00,400 But I think that those guys, the women in her women's group, really taught us, the guys, 504 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:06,440 the two independent groups really taught us what a marriage is supposed to be, taught 505 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:12,600 us how to pray for each other, to go to spiritual war for each other. 506 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,640 When I couldn't, it sounds kind of cliche, but when I couldn't love myself, there were 507 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,720 people loving me that didn't really even know me at that point. 508 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:25,720 And they were loving my wife in a way that I couldn't at that point. 509 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,200 That's what saved our marriage. 510 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:31,360 That is so, that is deep. 511 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,880 Well, that brings me to one of the questions I was actually going to ask. 512 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:43,480 For the single guys who are looking for a beautiful wife that God's going to give them, 513 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:47,440 weird way I phrased it, I'm sorry people. 514 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:52,000 For the single people, how do you bring excellence to a marriage? 515 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:59,240 So like if you were just going to tell me or Thomas or Andrew or whoever, how would 516 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:04,600 you be able to tell us, be like, hey, this is how you're going to bring excellence to 517 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,600 your marriage? 518 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:11,360 Like you do date nights every week, whatever practicals and then you can expand on the 519 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,480 practicals if you don't want to. 520 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,960 Honesty first, foremost. 521 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:20,000 God, God first and foremost. 522 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,000 Honesty, that's the reality, right? 523 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:29,040 If you're both on your walk together, that's going to help. 524 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:33,720 I think that's mission critical for long term success. 525 00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:42,480 Honesty second, making sure that you can be your whole self around that person because 526 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,480 you have to be, right? 527 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:49,120 If you want to be sustainable, I think it's super important. 528 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,760 And that's not something that I was able to do for a while, right? 529 00:34:53,760 --> 00:35:00,520 I think, I mean the practicalities, like I've always told my wife I loved her from the beginning, 530 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,520 right? 531 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,800 I still don't know if she believes me, but the night that I met her, I knew I wanted 532 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,400 to marry her. 533 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:15,560 I can't explain that part, but that was really before we even had a true relationship with 534 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,880 Jesus back then. 535 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,320 She was just, we were like minded, right? 536 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:24,120 We both wanted families. 537 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,120 We had similarities enough, right? 538 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,200 We had enough in common. 539 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:33,360 I think, yeah, I mean, I don't know, Emily and I don't necessarily have like date nights 540 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:39,040 set up or anything like that, but I think couple time is definitely important. 541 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,460 Whatever that looks like for you guys. 542 00:35:40,460 --> 00:35:46,760 Maybe it does mean weekly dinner, monthly dinner, whatever it is. 543 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:53,760 The willingness to pick up where the other one is slacking off or doesn't know how to, 544 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:54,760 right? 545 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,720 I don't, I love to cook. 546 00:35:58,720 --> 00:35:59,720 Emily likes to cook. 547 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,680 It doesn't matter who makes dinner, right? 548 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,800 We're working together to a common goal. 549 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,160 We support the children. 550 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:09,560 We have a common household goal. 551 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:17,120 I think being able to be humble too is important with each other. 552 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:21,720 I think being humble in general is something like a lot, like I have problems. 553 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:30,280 Like being humble and also, because a lot of things you mentioned, like even as single 554 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:35,000 guys, those are all things that we should be practicing already. 555 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:40,400 A lot of those things, like as far as the qualities go, like, and then giving ourselves 556 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,400 grace. 557 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,400 Sure. 558 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,160 Giving ourselves grace for whenever, like we were talking about earlier when we miss 559 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,160 our own mark. 560 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,160 Yeah. 561 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:53,880 And then we miss the mark and like we're not striving, we realize we're not striving for 562 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,560 Christ as well as we should be in certain moments. 563 00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:04,520 And like with, I know in relationships and friendships, like whenever you're, it's like 564 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,720 having grace for your friend or for these things that you can other whenever they mess 565 00:37:07,720 --> 00:37:16,560 up and being humble enough to like, I think sometimes, for me, like it's like, I can have, 566 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,520 I think the past I've had anger issues. 567 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:19,520 Okay. 568 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:24,440 And like I had them growing up, like I couldn't put a futon together, like it was this futon 569 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:25,440 at home. 570 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:26,440 I kicked the hole in the wall. 571 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:31,360 And I was like, I would just get so, I would get extremely frustrated. 572 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:37,520 And like, and it took like understanding that that was a problem to be able to, and I'm 573 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:42,880 going down a rabbit hole and I get that, but like, it took me to realize that that was 574 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:47,360 a problem to then have grace for myself whenever that happened to be like, okay, that wasn't 575 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:48,360 okay. 576 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:54,040 That wasn't okay that it happened, but it is at the same time. 577 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,040 It's okay. 578 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,040 It's okay. 579 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,000 It's weird to get, it's not okay, but it's okay. 580 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,800 There's a level of accountability that's needed also. 581 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:01,800 Yeah. 582 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:02,800 100%. 583 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:03,800 And like, it's hard for me. 584 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:08,920 Like I speak from, I can't speak from a relationship standpoint because I've only, I've been in 585 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:14,000 two, only two short relationships in my, but the hope is one day. 586 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:20,880 But no, I think, man, this is the first time for the people that listen, we usually, we 587 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:25,040 set up a timer on the TV and I completely forgot. 588 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,080 So I was checking like what time it was. 589 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,080 I've been checking the clock. 590 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:34,400 I've been checking the time of the, how long the recording has been. 591 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,200 And I'm like, okay, we're, okay, we're, we're in time. 592 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,000 How long has it been? 593 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,840 But I think we have a time for a few more questions. 594 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:47,240 Maybe like one more, you're going to ask one more question and then we'll wrap up. 595 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:49,480 And if you want to ask another question at any point, you know what I mean? 596 00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,480 We've got time. 597 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:57,440 But the, I don't want to derail what we're talking, but there's something I want you 598 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:01,080 to talk to the listeners real quick, like directly. 599 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:08,120 And to the people that they're wanting to enter into a new career or they're in, or 600 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:12,960 maybe they're even, or they're starting a new company and they want to move up the ranks. 601 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:17,800 Speaking from your own experience, like what encouragement or advice could you give them? 602 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,440 Be coachable. 603 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,320 Do your best to stay out of your feelings. 604 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:27,140 There will be plenty of times where it doesn't work out the way that you wanted it to. 605 00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:31,680 You know, do what you can to earn the trust of those people around you. 606 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,880 And when I go back and say, hey, stay out of your feelings. 607 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:42,380 I've seen a lot of what otherwise seemed like great leaders kind of get super emotional 608 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:47,560 about something that I don't want to say is an important, it is, everything's important 609 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:48,680 to some degree, right? 610 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,760 But like they get super emotional about something. 611 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:56,180 And especially in the company that I work for, things move so fast that even when you 612 00:39:56,180 --> 00:40:00,880 think something set in stone, it could change on a dime. 613 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,040 It could change by the end of the day, let alone next week, next month. 614 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,840 And you're at the end of next month before you turn around, right? 615 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:14,000 When you allow your emotions to get the best of you and you start to degrade some of that 616 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:18,120 trust that you've earned around you, that's way harder to earn back. 617 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,720 It's harder to earn back the second time, right? 618 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:23,280 But be coachable, right? 619 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:28,000 Be, learn and be curious. 620 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:33,000 Do what you can to, you don't have to know everything. 621 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:41,080 But wanting to learn and be curious about the company, about the skill, the trade, whatever 622 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,880 we're talking about, right? 623 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,320 And I still think being coachable is like one of the top ones. 624 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,720 I like be coachable, be flexible. 625 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,920 Be flexible. 626 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,840 Make risks, right? 627 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,080 Maybe calculated risks. 628 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,600 Maybe the ones that are just sitting on your heart, like, no, this is the way I got to 629 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:00,600 go. 630 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,160 Understand that it might not be, it may not be the one that you were, it may not be the 631 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,960 path you were supposed to take. 632 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,440 But that's okay too. 633 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,960 Again, there's something to be learned from it, right? 634 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:09,960 Yeah. 635 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:14,160 Well guys, I hope you took some notes. 636 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,200 Guys, thank you for listening to this episode. 637 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:23,280 So we got a couple more final questions, but I just want to say thank you for listening. 638 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:29,080 I thank, I always thank you guys for listening to the episode, especially towards the end 639 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:30,080 of it. 640 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:37,400 But guys, if you've heard this episode up to this point, you might want to give it a 641 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:38,400 re-listen. 642 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:43,560 And I think I said this last time too, but yeah, take some notes. 643 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:47,160 Take some notes and really think about if you're in that position of starting a new 644 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:53,480 career or wanting switch careers or whatever you want to do and you're wanting to move 645 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,280 up the ranks and that's your goal. 646 00:41:56,280 --> 00:42:00,420 Really focus on being, like Chad was saying, focus on being coachable, being flexible and 647 00:42:00,420 --> 00:42:06,440 taking those risks and dive more into what that looks like to you. 648 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:11,160 It's not going to be, the concepts will be the same, but the way they pertain to you 649 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:12,160 is going to be different. 650 00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:18,040 So I want to thank you, Chad, for putting that chest to kind of go forward. 651 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:22,600 I thank you then before just the ending questions to wrap up the episode. 652 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:30,760 And when it comes to your own personal growth and excellence in general, what are some of 653 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,920 the top resources that you could or do recommend to people? 654 00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,720 It can be books, podcasts, whatever. 655 00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:40,480 Man, find yourself a mentor. 656 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:44,040 Maybe it's a spiritual mentor, maybe it's a group of spiritual mentors, right? 657 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,400 Like a men's group, a women's group, whatever. 658 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,680 But find yourself a mentor at work. 659 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:51,680 If that's a thing, right? 660 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:56,000 Like if you're starting a company, maybe it's not at your work. 661 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,960 Maybe it's somebody that's been successful, right? 662 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:09,760 But I think a mentor for me, having somebody that I can call an offload a rough day on, 663 00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:17,920 a frustrating piece on, that's not my wife, that's not my boss, that's not maybe even 664 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,520 somebody on my direct team. 665 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:26,840 There was a wise man in one of my men's groups that once said, call me and scream at me because 666 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:33,440 you're not going to hurt my feelings before you get home, before that comes out on your 667 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,600 kids or on your wife, right? 668 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:39,800 And I've told since that day, and this is only a couple of years ago, and it's somebody 669 00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,560 in our current group, right? 670 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:46,440 Not our current group, not the Tuesday group, but in our group at church. 671 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:50,760 I've told people at work that a lot because it's true. 672 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,240 Like I said, stay out of your feelings, right? 673 00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:57,800 Sometimes you can't get out of those feelings until you get them off your chest, right? 674 00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,020 Call and scream at me. 675 00:44:00,020 --> 00:44:05,240 Even the people on my team, I'd rather them yell at me than that sort of emotion come 676 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:12,480 out to their direct reports, to their peers, to like, you're not going to hurt my feelings. 677 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:18,120 Like, please, by all means, and even if you do, I'm not going to, just let it go. 678 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:25,560 Like I'd much rather you offload it on me than it impacts something else, right? 679 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:29,440 Especially your family, especially your relationships. 680 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:33,940 You know, if that's your mentor, maybe it's not the mentor that you call to scream at, 681 00:44:33,940 --> 00:44:40,640 but having that trusted resource, somebody that you can be real with no matter what level 682 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,600 of real we're talking about. 683 00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:47,240 Having that type of person is, for me, is mission critical. 684 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,320 I'm not great at it. 685 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,140 I'm still not great. 686 00:44:50,140 --> 00:44:55,560 There's not excellence in that part of my own life, and there's a couple of those people 687 00:44:55,560 --> 00:45:00,720 in my life, but being able to offload that stuff before that sort of builds up emotion 688 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:05,560 impacts, maybe more important parts of your life or other parts of your life. 689 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:06,560 That's really good. 690 00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:11,160 And like, I like asking these questions, you never really know what people are going to 691 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:16,080 say and, and the mentors are extremely important. 692 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:17,080 Absolutely. 693 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:22,280 I think we mentioned that, like with Mike, when we were talking with our episode with 694 00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:27,880 Mike Wallace, we mentioned like, if you don't have a mentor, get a mentor, like seek them 695 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:32,920 out because sometimes they're not just going to show up most of the time. 696 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,840 More often than not, they're not going to find you. 697 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,400 And the ones that do may not be the right ones. 698 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,000 Yeah, that's very true. 699 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:45,800 Like, yeah, you want to search, look out, seek out the people who are further in life 700 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,120 in the direction of where you're looking to go. 701 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120 Sure. 702 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,120 Yeah. 703 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,120 Also, it's good to have, I would say more than one. 704 00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:58,080 At first, I used to think there was just one mentor or one mentor only. 705 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:03,800 That was my past bread, pastor bread is like only hub. 706 00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:08,520 But then it was like, I can see where I can get some wisdom from Thomas and I can get 707 00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:13,280 one wisdom from Chas and I could get some wisdom from Pat Williams and I could get some 708 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:18,200 wisdom from Keith in different areas of my life and Andrew and like, you know, there's 709 00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,920 so many different people you can get wisdom from. 710 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:28,240 So it's like now that I expanding having more than one mentor, it is definitely working 711 00:46:28,240 --> 00:46:29,240 in my life. 712 00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:31,680 And I so I work in you guys's life as well. 713 00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,680 Get more than one mentor. 714 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,080 I still have the best one though. 715 00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:38,080 Pastor Brandon, love you man. 716 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:44,160 Oh, Chas, who would you like to see on the next episode of our podcast? 717 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,160 Right here, technically. 718 00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:50,000 Man, there's you said you already had Pat. 719 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,000 Pat intrigues me. 720 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,000 I'd like to have a conversation with Pat. 721 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,600 There's you'd have to show me the list of people you've had before. 722 00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,920 I can name them. 723 00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:02,680 I memorize them. 724 00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:03,680 There's a lot of people. 725 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,680 Yes, a list of people. 726 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:07,680 Keith. 727 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,240 Oh, we've been we've been trying to get him. 728 00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:11,240 I'll be trying. 729 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:15,560 Keith, if you're listening, we're coming for you. 730 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:21,520 Dave Miller. 731 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:22,520 Oh, we had Dave. 732 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:23,520 Did you? 733 00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:24,520 Yeah, there you go. 734 00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:25,520 He was he was our first guest. 735 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,520 First guest. 736 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:27,520 He's our first guest. 737 00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:28,520 Yeah. 738 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,560 Dave was a legend. 739 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,560 Dave was one of the two men that helped me with my sobriety early on. 740 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,560 Yeah, Dave. 741 00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:36,560 He did. 742 00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:37,560 He did. 743 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:38,560 He did. 744 00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:39,560 He dives into his. 745 00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:40,560 Yeah, he's better than that too. 746 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:41,560 It was great. 747 00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:42,560 That was a great one. 748 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,560 Yeah, Dave Miller's are also one of my mentors. 749 00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:45,560 Dave. 750 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:46,560 No, that's awesome. 751 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,560 If you ever have any more, feel free to let me know. 752 00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:51,560 Yeah, 100 percent. 753 00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,560 Guys, thank you for listening to this episode of Technically Short. 754 00:47:55,560 --> 00:48:01,560 If you haven't already, give us a follow in the five stars review. 755 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:07,560 Whatever platform you're on and share on your socials message on social media and we'll 756 00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:08,560 see you next time. 757 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:09,560 Love you guys. 758 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:10,560 See you. 759 00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:11,560 Thanks, y'all. 760 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:15,560 Bye.