Welcome to Technically Short!!
We got special guests here for you today. You're gonna love it.
And Thomas, you can take it from here.
Okay. Alright. Yeah. Today we have special guests. Like Shawn said, we have Dave Miller.
Hey, thanks guys. Thanks for having me.
Yeah. I'm honestly really excited for this episode because we...
Shawn and I aren't the best at reaching out to people sometimes when it comes to getting guests.
And now we're getting better at it. And whenever... you asked to be on, didn't you?
Yeah. I said if you ever need someone, I'm happy to do it.
Right. And like, I was like, okay, this is up until like the other team night we had the other day at Amplify.
I was like, okay, this is happening.
And then I was like, okay. And then I got to be reminded who you are again by just like your personality and how bright you are.
Okay. Thanks.
And like, it was... I was talking to Ian and Brady, who if people don't know who that is, they work on production and IT at Amplify Church.
And I said, yeah, I'm actually really excited for this because like, just like how like it because like that reminded me of like specifically about your servant heart and like that, how you like dove into just production because there was a need.
And I will maybe go into that a bit, but like that's not going to be the main topic of the conversation.
But yeah, I like spontaneity.
I don't always like being put in a box.
I like jumping in where, you know, when you see that there's help needed.
I like just kind of that spontaneity of jumping in and just kind of, you know, helping out and contributing.
Yeah, for sure.
And to kind of get into like talk to them, see if I can talk to the audience real quick.
So we were trying to figure out like what we were going to do for the episode. And I had an idea of, and maybe this is a separate episode, but I had an idea of specifically focusing on the servant heart.
And then you, Shawn, mentioned what you said and like about wanting to talk more about like habits and diving into like your own struggles because of like what you've gone through.
And like, maybe I can help some people with my testimony, essentially. Yeah, for sure.
And I was like, let's do that. That sounds like because I wanted to be true to you.
I think that like this, like whenever we have guests, like it's not always going to be like, oh, what do they want to do?
Right. But that whenever you gave that option, I was like, that actually sounds like that sounds like it just sounds like it would be something just knowing you're like the little bit I do about you would be something that would be beneficial.
Not just trying to deny, but to the people, all the people that listen. Yeah, for sure.
And I, you know, like, you know, I haven't known you guys that long and, you know, it gives me an opportunity to get to know you guys a little bit better as well.
Especially through church. You know, these two guys are amazing. You got it. You got it. You got to subscribe to this channel.
These guys are for young people, man. They have a heart for God that is just on fire and they're they're world changers.
And I just feel blessed that they're in my life and in my children's lives as well. Thanks, Dave.
David's the man. I always love your heart and behind the scenes, the strength that you pull in from the church, like what God's given you as a specific gift.
And I'm excited today because we go a little deeper and we get to go a little deeper into who David is. Yeah. And it's going to be great. Cool.
Yeah. With that said, though, like you say you got a milestone coming up. Yeah, yeah, I do. So October 1st of this year, I will have 11 years sober from alcohol.
So, yeah, yeah, it's been a journey for sure. Yeah, definitely been a journey. And what specifically about that journey?
Did you kind of where you think about talking about today? Well, can I give a little bit of background? Yeah. Yeah.
So so growing up, you know, I grew up here in Plumboro and, you know, I have a younger sister and mom and dad were in the house.
My dad was a pretty rough alcoholic when I was growing up. And, you know, it's funny. They say you become you tend to become what you hate.
And I always thought to myself, man, I'm never going to be like that. You know, I don't want to be that person.
But it's sort of in your DNA. You know, it's sort of what you know, what you're brought up in.
And unfortunately, I guess when tough times come, you've kind of followed that default of that type of behavior.
And, you know, it's something I fell into later in life. Well, probably when I started drinking when I was like 15, 15 years old.
And yeah, so, you know, like I said, it was around me all the time. I was in that environment a lot.
And, you know, I guess it got it got its claws in me. So.
And starting at 15 and then how long did that you said now you've been 10 years 11 years. Yeah, right.
I'm 53. So take 11 off of that 42. So about 15 to 42. Okay.
And it was like a big problem that whole time. Not the entire time. It's interesting.
I wasn't a person who like I didn't drink every day. Yeah.
But when I did, it was all out like there. I couldn't once I started, I couldn't stop.
So, you know, a typical night for me, you know, got out to the bar might be 15 beers and shots, you know, essentially pretty much almost a blackout every time.
You know, that was I just once I started, I couldn't stop. I couldn't put it down. And, you know, that led to some some some issues.
So would you be mind that maybe diving into some of those issues? Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure.
So, you know, when you're younger, you don't have the responsibilities.
It didn't seem to be as big of a problem, right? Because I just had me. I didn't have a wife. I didn't have kids.
I didn't have a lot of those responsibilities.
So the effects of it didn't seem to be as as big back then, although, you know, there were times, you know, it had cost me a job at one point in my life.
It had cost me some relationships and friendships in life.
It's just it's one of those things where you become sort of a slave to it, you know, and believe it or not, you know, growing up, I was very shy and very my I had huge self-esteem issues, huge.
And I still battle with a lot of self-esteem issues today, to be honest with you.
But growing up, that was that was really hard for me to talk to anybody to meet girls like I just I couldn't.
And I think the alcohol that kind of numbed me and kind of brought out this I don't care about the consequences type of approach, you know, like, well, well, if they say no, who cares?
You know, I'm having a good time anyways. And so, you know, it was really self-medicating, you know, some of some of the issues that I was going through later in life.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety disorder.
So those are things that, you know, I still manage today, but do it in different ways, you know, instead of going to the go into the bottle.
You know, I've gone to therapy, I take some medication and, you know, and obviously, you know, my faith has really been a key part in in in beating it.
That is deep. And honestly, I feel like a lot of guys go through the same type of situations in life or like for me personally, I know that I I battled on anxiety and depression.
And it caused me to do things like drink, smoke, sleep with around and do all type of other stuff. So like, I love that we're going so deep because I mean, honestly, these are like this is real talk right now.
You know, yeah, for sure. You know, and I think I think if we look at the issues that we deal with just anybody in life, it always goes back to your childhood.
It 100% goes back to your childhood, you know, and again, you know, it wasn't an ideal situation in my house. My dad was pretty rough.
He would get pretty rough. You know, I kind of try to protect my sister and, you know, get in the kind of take some things there.
And I think just going through some of those things and just the world that we live in today, you know, everybody has some anxiety and some depression.
And, you know, those are some things that I think everybody deals with, you know, and I'm so glad that it's finally getting to be a little more comfortable and a little more acceptable that this stigma around mental health isn't what it used to be.
Right. And I honestly think everybody should be in therapy today. Just the way the world is.
And I mean, you know, people go to the gym to work out their body and to stay in shape.
Boy, our mind is under attack all the time, you know, from the enemy, from the world. So why wouldn't you go to someone that is an expert in coping and dealing with those things?
So I heard before I feel like it was somebody in person that told me this, that therapists like they were given a calling and God gave them a calling to be able to understand to want to know and understand
more about like how the human mind works and understand so like they can understand more about how your mind works than you do.
Yep. Just by having like a quick conversation. Yeah. And there's a reason that a gift that they have and they wouldn't have it if it wasn't meant to be used.
And there's like I'm I've been in therapy for like over a year and I was going every week and just this last session that we had to decide to go over other week.
And she looked at me and saw a video over video and she like looked at me and said, yeah, you're ready. You're making progress. Yeah. Yeah.
And that's the thing. You know, I think a lot of times people might want to, you know, might try therapy and, you know, they just think, man, they didn't do anything.
I don't feel any better. It's a process, you know, and it might be the person you're with to sometimes. Yes.
Going to a couple of different people to find the one that you kind of gel with. Right. Right. And but you have to it's a process.
I think, you know, I've related to the gym again. You know, you're not going to get in great shape going one time. You have to do it consistently.
And I think it's the same thing with your mind. Absolutely. I agree. I think like you have something to say. No, no, absolutely.
I agree. I feel like if somebody can't get therapy, then you should at least have good counsel where you're able to at least release what's on your mind.
Like having a minister or somebody you can just sit there and talk to if you can't afford therapy for whatever reason or situation is.
But therapy still needs to happen. There's different types of way of therapy. Well, go to a therapist is good.
Go to a pastor, go to a counselor, go somewhere where you're able to release the mind. I agree.
I think even like I think for trying to figure out which direction I want to go.
I one thing is I really I think a lot of people don't think they need it because they're not in a really bad situation.
And I like you were saying, like the world is so like messed up nowadays.
You might not know you're in a bad situation, but you might think what you're going through, right?
It's just like it's just your life. Yeah. So therefore, why would you need to go to therapy for it?
And that's just how it always has been. And I feel like you get to the right therapist just for like just one session and wondered like you said, maybe it takes three or four.
But your eyes can be open to so many other things like like that's to like maybe there are links back to your childhood to what you're going to.
So how your mind works right now that you weren't thinking of before. Right. And so I don't I think a lot of like me, I didn't go to therapy until there was like the immediate need for it.
Yeah. And I think if people like you said, if they went to people go to the gym when they're weak and when they're weak, they keep but they keep going when they're strong.
You can't stop. Right. So like whenever you're going to whenever you go to therapy, like doesn't there so you don't just go whenever you're in a bad situation.
Right. Like you go you go whenever you're you go whenever you just because you want to grow. Right. Yeah. I want to know more about myself.
Yeah. And I think you know obviously we're different generations. Right. So I'm 53. These guys are in their 20s. They're 31. But he looks like he's 22. No doubt. Oh, God. Amazing.
But like my generation, you know, the way I grew up was, you know, I I had to grow up and I had to if I wanted something done, I had to take care of myself. Right.
I had to do things for myself. My generation was you don't talk about your feelings. That's weakness. That's a weakness as a man. It's not something you do. You deal with it. Right.
You shove it down. You deal with it. That's what you do. And that's kind of how we were brought up. And I think that's a reason why a lot of people don't go and why I didn't go for a long time because I thought that makes me less of a man.
You know, if I can't deal with this on my own, you know, just suck it up. Just deal with it. I think our generation still got that. Like I think the newer generations finally getting that released off of them that you can talk about being your feelings because I feel like me and Thomas specifically have heard all our lives. Men don't cry.
All the rest and other stuff that like men as men were not allowed to talk about any type of feeling type thing. And it's just like now now we're just now starting to disassociate with the older generation about that.
Yeah, I'd say probably in the last 10 years, five years, it's become way more acceptable compared to like the 70s and 80s. Way more acceptable in the last 10 years than it was back then for sure. But the other thing I just wanted to touch on is, you know, I know that what I've realized is that, you know, some of these trials we go through, some of these weaknesses that we have or some of these defects that we have, if you will.
What's amazing is, is how God uses those things to help others. I can't tell you how many times for no reason I've sat on a plane, you know, used to travel a lot for work and I'd sit on a plane out of all the seats.
The person who sat right next to me was dealing with severe anxiety for flying or I run into someone and you know they're dealing with alcohol or drugs issues and just way more than it should be naturally.
Right? So I'm very open about my past. I talk to strangers about it sometimes, you know, I just love talking to people. But it's amazing how what you've gone through, you can use to help others.
And God really facilitates that and just in a miraculous way.
That makes me think about my own personal experience with my current situation.
I feel like it's a lot easier when you're in tune with God, to be able to say like, my situation can be a testimony even while I'm in it.
It's not just like at the end. It's not just at the end of it where like, oh look at what God brought me through. It is a good thing. You can get to the end of your trial.
Yeah.
And, but even in the midst of the trial, God's still there.
Well, it just gives you so much credibility, right? So, you know, if someone were to talk to me about, you know, battling alcohol or addiction or depression, whatever it might be, if they haven't gone through that, you know, in my mind, I feel like, man, you just don't, you don't understand.
You don't get it.
You know, so while we're going through it, there's other people going through it. And, you know, as they say, iron sharpens iron, right? So if you're in that same place, you know, you can help each other along and encourage each other.
So I think that's huge. You know, one of the biggest influences on my life is one of my best friends. His name is Pat Barnes.
You know, he goes to church with us and Pat's just an incredible human being. And he has been such an influence on me and maintaining my sobriety.
He also, you know, he's had some experience with it, but, and he shares that. I'm not sharing anything that he doesn't share openly. But he is, he has been my rock through going through this, you know.
There have been, I'll tell you what's interesting is, you know, like I said, I'm coming up on 11 years, but it's still, I don't want to say a daily battle, but it's still a battle even after 11 years.
You know, it's funny about once a year, I'll have a conversation with Sarah and she knows it's coming. Sarah's my wife. She'll, she's gotten so, she's amazing.
She's gotten so good at it, you know, where I'm a hundred percent serious. And I'll say, you know what? I'm a different person now. I'm older now. I'm more wise. I'm in my faith.
You know, it would be fine for me to have a case of beer. I can put one or two in the fridge. That way I'll drink a ton.
And I'm literally thinking at that time, at that moment, in that moment that I can do this. Like I can do this. And you know, when I first started doing this, she goes, no, you can't. No, you can't.
And it's amazing. She's learned that she just listens and I talk through it. And at the end I say, no, you know what? I can't do that.
You know, so I get to that place where I'm like, no, I can't, you know, but it is, it's hard because, you know, you got with your buddies and they're having a couple beers and the way the world is, you know, it'd be nice just to kind of numb yourself a little bit just to get that relaxation feeling.
You know, I still crave though. I still crave that. I do. But, you know, it's about community. It's about who you surround yourself with. Right.
And you guys know, I mean, you know, you surround yourself with good people and people with, you know, similar values, similar beliefs. And, you know, you have that person to kind of lean on their shoulder when you need it, you know, and you know they have your best interests at heart.
You know, one thing Pat and I did is, you know, we kind of at the beginning of our relationship, we kind of had a pact that we said, if we see some, if we see each other stumbling or messing up or doing something, you know, not real godly, we give each other permission to call it out.
And I think everybody needs accountability for sure, especially as men. We need accountability. And, you know, and in the moment when you hear it, you know, you might get a little upset, you know, you know, say I raised my voice to my son and Pat might go, hey, Dave, you got to, you know, the immediate reaction is, don't tell me what to do. That's my kid. Right.
That's what you think immediately. That's kind of your reaction. But, you know, we made that pact, you know, and I know he's coming out of love. You know, he's not coming to put me down or to embarrass me or humiliate me. He's coming from love.
You know, we've done that back and forth with each other over the years where, you know, we need to call each other out. Everyone wants to want to say, hey, you know, get back in step. And, you know, but we but we have that relationship that we know that, you know, it's out of love. So accountability is huge.
Yeah. I also believe what you said was so deep about like people you surround with because the Bible talks about bad companies or bad company corrupts good manners. So like you could be having all the right intentions. But if you're surrounded by the wrong people all the time, their views and they'll get to you.
Like, you know, I mean, if if you're not pulling them up, they're pulling you out. And that's so important to see that like, okay, okay, now this I'm out of this lifestyle. Let me go around people who have the same mindset of I got out. I'm not going back. You know, yeah, so powerful.
There's a few good things in that Bible. Huh? It's gotta be good. Forty different authors. It's insane.
I think I'm going to kind of pivot us for a second. Yeah, I think what you're talking about is really good. But you also mentioned how you had to establish these new habits. And I want to I was kind of curious as to what those were and how you went about establishing them.
Great question. That's awesome. It's interesting because I remember the day that something kind of clicked in my mind and it was a church and our founding pastor, Pastor Lee had given a message and it was about guardrails.
And he talked about in his life, you know, he realized that, you know, it's it's a healthy practice to put guardrails up in your life. Like he gave examples of, you know, he used to travel a lot for work. I used to travel a lot for work.
He would say, you know, I one of my guardrails was I would never be alone with a female at any point. It's just a good guardrail to put up. He said, I would never drink more than two, two alcoholic beverages within 24 hours.
He said, you know, because, as you know, you know, once you kind of cross that threshold, you know, your decision making all those things get kind of fuzzy and you lose the ability even more to resist those temptations.
And when he said that, it kind of clicked with me and I said, man, you know what? That makes a lot of sense to me.
Putting guardrails up in your life to kind of protect yourself and protect your heart from temptation, right? Because temptation strong and, you know, people who are Christians and maybe listening to this, you know, once you become a Christian, it's not like the temptations go away.
In fact, a lot of times the enemy wants to attack more because you're living a life for Christ now. Right.
So by using those guardrails in all kinds of facets of your life, that's kind of where it started. But I knew my guardrail had to be zero drinks. Yeah, I couldn't do two. Right.
So it had to be zero. So I decided that day literally to stop. And I did it on my own, which I don't recommend. There's a lot of great support out there like Alcoholics Anonymous.
There's different Christian groups and small groups that you can go to about it. But being a hard head that I was, I just said I'm going to do it cold turkey.
And it worked for me. It was tough, but it worked. And that was really the thing. So, you know, some of the habits that I got into, you know, I quit going to places where it was just about partying.
You know, those I eliminated those. I had to eliminate some friends in my life. Right. That that was kind of their deal was just kind of going out and partying it up.
You know, I kind of had to separate myself from that a little bit. The other side of community. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And, you know, just just things like and it's interesting because with habits and with addiction and things, a lot of times you tie them to certain activities. Like if I were to go to a Pirates game.
Oh, you got to have a beer when you go to the Pirate game. You hear people say it on TV. You hear your announcer say it on the radio.
You know, someone will say, oh, oh, I didn't drink last night, you know, because I have you went to the game and you didn't drink a beer. What's wrong with you? It's like, no, those two don't have to go together.
You know, they really don't. And there's a lot of pressure in society that that put those things on you, you know, and I would say alcohol is really tough because it's legal.
You get it anywhere. Right. And it's everywhere around us. Anytime you go to the restaurant, anytime you go to a sporting event, anytime you go, it's always there and you can get it.
You don't need to sneak around. You don't need to go to a special dealer. You know, I mean, you get whatever you want. There's nothing preventing you from getting it.
So, you know, it is it's a it's a struggle. It's not a struggle. It's a battle. You know, you got to battle it. And yeah, those are some of the habits that I that I really kind of focused on.
Also, you know, going to church every week and and, you know, also just again, that getting that community around you, being around the right people and replacing it, you know, replacing it with other things, you know, healthier things.
So that's wow. It's so good. Yeah. Like Lee, he talked about guardrails.
What if you were talking about it? Were you talking about like I remember a message that was like more recent three weeks ago when you're or what was the once ago?
Yeah, I know what you're talking about. When he was driving, he was talking about that. This was 11 years ago.
Right. I was like, I was like, he just talked about that recently, too. Interesting. Yeah.
But that's not so that you remember the like the detail of those deals after 11 years that speaks to the impact it made.
For sure. I mean, it's you know, it's it's a complete change of life. Yeah, it's a complete change of life.
You know, it you know, and then and then you worry about it. You're like, hey, am I going to be fun or people going to want to be around me? Yeah. Because I used to be the jokester and, you know, still learn.
Well, at my age now, man, I don't do the crazy daredevil stuff I used to do because it hurts way more than.
But yeah, I used to have no fears, no consequences, you know, all the time. Just just getting out there and getting wild. But yeah, no, that's good.
But yeah, it's a big life change. So it is something that you remember and it's something that you know, it's a big pivot point in your life for sure.
Yeah, I think that's so powerful. I love the Bible. I always refer to it like when the God talks about how we overcome Satan, he says by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.
And that's so powerful because your testimony, Dave, is going to help so many people who are in that struggle now and those people who have overcame that struggle hearing it so they keep staying on the right path.
It is so powerful to hear that. Also, it might just help people like maybe they have gone that have gone through it and have now overcome it.
But it's also powerful to be more open about sharing that sharing their own testimony because a lot of the time you might a lot of time people might just think like who's going to listen to me?
Yeah, it's going to listen to what I have to say. Yeah. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. Yeah. You know, fact is something you should be proud of. Right.
And with that, and you know, I would just say to anyone out there that is struggling or, you know, is thinking that maybe this is becoming an issue. Just talk to somebody. Yeah. Reach out to someone.
You know, don't don't don't do it on your own. Don't hold it in. Let someone know, you know, check out Amplify Church. Go online. Check out our church, man, because we're a church of broken people.
You do not have to be perfect to come into our church because we'd have zero people and we've all been through things. We've all had life experiences and we're there to help support and love.
So, you know, and again, the church has been such a big part of my life. And that was the other thing. You know, my my dad's parents, they were both really bad alcoholics and he went through a really hard life.
And then it kind of carried on to him. Right. And then it carried on to me. And, you know, once I had children, I said, you know what? This has to stop. Yeah. Like the chain has to break here.
Like, I don't want my kids to ever see me wasted or, you know, being a fool. And I don't want them to have to deal with this. So, you know, the one thing about Amplify is, you know, I am so, so thankful for people like you and Shawn and just so many other people that have just poured into my kids' lives.
And the fact that they have such a strong relationship with Christ, it was funny because when my younger son got baptized, my older son got baptized a couple years ago and then my younger son got baptized last year or this year. I can't remember.
But once he got baptized, I went to one of our pastors, Brandon. He was there and I said, Brandon, I can literally die tomorrow. I said, my life is complete. My boys are saved.
And I said, you know, I could die tomorrow and it's okay. And because unfortunately, they're going to go through struggles and they have gone through struggles that man, but do they have a base, a foundation that I never had?
That's the other thing. You know, I only became a Christian at 40. So, you know, I didn't have God in my life, but boy, they do. And what a difference that makes in life. It's just it's huge.
So I'm just so thankful for, you know, your guys' generation and the way that you guys pour into these younger kids. And just it's just you guys are incredible.
I can't imagine at your age being where you guys are at because I was such a so, so lost at that point, you know, and you guys are just so amazing. And it just gives me hope for the future.
So, yeah, I really appreciate you saying that. I mean, from my heart, I think like I think the same thing when I look at like we like we had Andrew on here and I think the same thing when I look at him.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And because whenever I first started coming here and he was 18 when I first started coming and I was like, I was like, how much do you know how much about the Bible?
Like I've read like a page in the beginning. That's what I have.
Right. And like, so now I know I may not like, of course, there's a different time span between us.
But like, but I can kind of get the testament. So like there's one thing that's probably my mind the whole time you're talking like while you're talking, though, specifically about alcohol, because like I never really don't know if you would call it a it was a problem to the extent of whenever I would go, wow, I drink just get it was a social thing to do.
Yeah. And I never got to the point of blacking out. I've got a point where I've lost a couple hours. But like, like that is blacking out. Yeah. Losing time.
Okay. So it doesn't mean pass out. Right. Sometimes you do. But blacking out is losing the period of time.
And like now I've I like right now they I never decided to stop drinking. I just don't. And like part of it was just like it was expensive.
Like, yeah, that's it. That's it. But my beer run, I remember it was like $70. I was like, I was drinking IPAs and I get to drinking. I was like, like, man, I can't say I can't. I can't do that. I just never went back. And I have a cabinet full of like bottles and stuff. And like, I've been touching it over a year.
You're trying to tell me. No, sorry. Sorry. We have no bottles. Sorry.
I'm gonna have to get my brother's stumble. But, but no, I said I was telling John the other day. I think I told my friend David, I was saying like, I tried some whiskey the other day, a couple weeks ago. Just like, yeah, you know, I haven't had in a while. It's been there. I was like, I'll try something.
And I took a sip. I was like, this stuff is gross. I was like, how do I have the bottle gone? How am I drinking this? I was just drinking it because it was like the manly thing to drink. Right. And I bought it because I had a monkey on the bottle.
Yeah, that's perfect sense. Yeah. And like, and like, I feel like I just lost it. I personally, I feel like I just lost the taste for it. I like, I'll go out, I'll still have a beer when I go out. And I guess I have one casual beer with a friend and like, but like having it at home, like it feels like that was like the old, in my life. Yeah.
It feels like I was thinking like, well, I was specifically thinking about while you were talking, it was like, whenever I specifically, whenever I became a Christian, I was starting to dive more into my faith more because I was, I was just technically a Christian Roman Catholic growing up.
But like, I fell away from my faith for a while and I think that was part of that life with drinking and having always having beer in the fridge and then like going out every other weekend.
And and like, I think about it now, like, I do not like who I am whenever even after a couple drinks. Yeah. So like, I'm not says like, I just don't. It's like, it was, it was like my, I never really, I never actually made that decision. It was just like, it just fell off. Yeah.
And I think like, I'm thankful for that. For sure. For sure. Like, it just like was never like the temptation was like the temptation was like gone. Like the idea of like drinking, like it like was almost detestable.
And with that also, you know, when you're in that, you know, especially if you're, you know, in an addiction type level, it comes with a lot of lying. Yeah. A lot of deceit, a lot of bad things. Right. And that weighs on you too.
You know, it's not just the physical effects of alcohol that, you know, that make it troubling. Yeah. And again, I'm not saying for everyone. Yeah. A lot of people can have a couple beers and that's awesome. You know, I'm jealous. I wish I could have two beers and stop. That'd be great. But I can't.
And I kind of compare it to like, it's almost like an allergic reaction. Like if you were allergic to penicillin, Shawn, and you took penicillin, your body would just react in such a way. If I took it, my body wouldn't react that way. Right. I kind of see alcohol the same way for me.
It takes a hold of me. Yeah. And it takes me into dark places. It just affects my chemistry differently. So, you know, I'm not saying people can't drink ever or anything like that. You know, if you're sensible and responsible and you can, that's awesome.
You know, that's good on you. But, you know, just for me, it just didn't work. I honestly agree. I mean, I feel like when it comes to alcohol specifically, it's like it's took me to the very darkest places of humankind.
And like, the man I was when I'm on alcohol is just awful. Like, literally, I'm a womanizer when I'm drunk. Yeah. I'm trying to, because I'm trying to do everything the world wants.
Like, I think everybody else who's worldly would think I'm fun and exciting because that's the worldly look of things. But like, once I got, like I agree with you, Thomas, like when I got into a role, like, because I was a prodigal son, I've done everything under the sun.
But at first I started with a relationship with God from like some zero until like 19. I had a really strong relationship with God. 19, I had a fall away when I was in college, first week of college. And because that's when you get your freedom and then you act stupid with the freedom.
Right. Yeah. So that was me. So like diving deep into that. Most of those problems and reason why I didn't finish college was because of alcohol and weed.
Yeah. Literally, those were the things. If I was, if I wasn't getting weed, I was drinking and those drinks were like, okay, I was drinking because it's the social norm every Friday and Saturday. You got to party hard. Boom, boom.
Oh, we're having a party Tuesday this time. We had to drink. Boom, boom. You know what I mean? Like wherever the party was, you had to drink. And those drinks was like, okay, now that you're drunk, you can be crazy, fun, Shawn.
And now that you're crazy and fun, Shawn, you have to find a hot chick and sleep with her. Otherwise you felt for the night. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that was like the mindset that was behind it. And that's why like it's so incredible what God does.
Because now like if I have a beer, right, it's not the same as when I was drinking before because now I can't really enjoy a beer like I used to. I'm not going to hold you as as a Christian man. It's not the same as where I was when I was a worldly man drinking a beer because when I was a worldly man, I was thinking, okay, I drink this beer and now I could get drunk and now I can drink.
But now when I drink, I'm just like, bro, this is nasty. Why am I doing this? Like, you know, I mean, like the taste is like, why? Like it's I try to do it to be funny. What am I doing? It's like the after I do it, it's like instant regret. Like, why'd you do it? It's not good. It didn't taste good. There was no good outcome from it. You know what I mean?
Pros and cons. Yeah. So not too many pros. A lot of cons. No, like, honestly, that's why I lost my Walmart job because I was being goofy. My friends were golfing. They came in, work with the beer and I was like, oh, shoot, let me pastor drinks beer and be funny. And boom, yeah, wasn't funny. Like consequences, right?
And it wasn't like I was like buying beer off my friends or like plan to drink that day. The devil just tempted me. Yeah, because I haven't drank in like three years and he was like, here, just have a sip and boom. Yeah, just like that.
I can't believe you said prodigal son because that is absolutely my very most favorite story in the Bible. And it's the one I relate to the most is prodigal son. So I can't believe you said that. That's incredible.
The other thing is one of the things is when you're consuming, you know, lots of alcohol and getting drunk, you do stupid things. But the next day you can say, I was drunk. I was you have an excuse.
But guess what? When you get sober, you don't have that excuse. Any. So you really got to, you know, it's a whole shift of your mindset. It's like I could still be a crazy dude and sober. But now if I do something really dumb or, you know, something that's immoral, I can't say I was drunk.
You know, that's me now. That's on me. And, you know, so that's another that's another adjustment that you make. I think.
I want to speak to a couple of things like the fact we talked about two different sides of community that you brought up of how being in the old community of what what was causing you to essentially go off the cliff and go over your guardrail that you hadn't set yet.
But you go over, go over, you go over the cliff and realizing like part of part of the guardrail is that they're actually for you. Those people are actually like those people at least in those activities.
We're would put you over the edge and then realizing that there's a other actually a different community that can help you have a healthier life.
Not they don't even have to be like telling like like you have like Pat Barnes and like but even specifically you don't even necessarily need to have like you should feel like it's great.
And I feel like if you have you like if you don't have somebody in your life like that right now, maybe it's because you don't have the right like you're not surrounding yourself with the right people.
Like I have a like Andrew Regatta and like and like we like we talk to each other and I'll ask him like did I like like was that dumb? I'll ask him like was that dumb?
I feel like you have to ask. But like but like just being around people that have like like I think specifically speaking from like a Christian standpoint being around people that have that like visible wisdom and like have that have that had that whether like being around you who has been through something and has been through stuff that you put yourself that you put yourself through.
But now know what it's like to go through that like just being around before I before knowing that like I would still like I still think the same thing of like like oh wow like he's he's this light.
He's this person who people see and like he like he has his heart to serve. He like always seems to be in this bright happy attitude and like now you're telling and now you're telling like what happened way before that what led up to that point.
So like that happens that one question written down and we're definitely like way over time if you'll be like if you'll be a lot longer. Our longest episode. I think people love it. But like I'm just like I'll ask one final question.
Sure.
And then we'll and then is it the beauty and the breaking pretty much.
Not specifically. I don't know where you're going with that but because that's what you were leading off with just now.
Like was it because you were talking about how they were he was all broken and stuff right now.
Now they got his reform fine David into like the man that he is now and he's happy and enjoys from all the broken pieces.
So the beauty and the breaking.
Okay we got that out of what I said that's not where I was going. That's where you got out of this.
You guys listening. The dynamic of these two is amazing.
You just got to see it. It's I love it.
They're amazing together.
Where were you going Thomas.
My final question.
It's where the people like prefer people are listening who don't know what their guardrails should be and how how like if they're like I don't have any I don't feel like I have any guardrails.
How do you go about identifying what those be are.
Yeah that's a that's a really good question.
So I shared you know for me it came through a sermon right.
Yeah. Through Pastor Lee you know if you don't if you don't have that number one I'd say get into church find a church near you plug into a community.
It's life changing.
It's amazing.
It'll change your life forever.
But you know if you're looking at yourself and deciding you know what guardrails can I set up.
I would say take a look at you know what is bringing you down.
You know what are what is causing stress in your life.
What is causing you to argue with your friends or your significant other.
What are those things that are constantly negative.
What are the effects of what you're seeing.
And then find guardrails to help you keep away from that right.
That's what carers are like you said going over the cliff right.
So what are the things that are sending you over the cliff.
You know if it's drinking then you put up a guardrail and you say listen I'm not going to drink.
If it's pornography you say well you know what I'm not going to be alone on my computer.
You know whatever it is.
But again you need to find someone for accountability.
You know that's huge.
Don't keep it to yourself.
Share it with someone.
Let them know what you're doing and ask them to hold you accountable.
Yeah that's that's so important because we're not strong.
We're not strong enough on our own.
We definitely are or not.
And that's where God really comes in because God is strong enough.
God can overcome.
He can do miraculous things.
And you know having that faith and having that relationship with Christ and with you know with God is key.
I think in anything in life you know and it's just such a better life man.
I can just tell you that the other side is so much better.
It's hard and especially at first it's difficult but it's so much better.
It's so much better.
And if anybody ever wanted to reach out to me you know I'm happy to talk to anyone.
So you know if you see me at church see me out whatever come up man.
I'm happy to talk to you.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
Thank you Dave for coming and having you stand down with us because this was this.
I've been saying to the last every time you record a new episode but this is now my favorite episode.
He says that to all the guests.
He tries to butter them up.
I also have to say you know they can't see we don't have a camera yet but I really like that watch.
Can I tell you a funny story about this watch real fast and we'll end.
So you know back in the day before kids and you know I was making decent money and had more expendable income.
You know I would buy some really nice watches you know.
You know I have like Tag Heuer or Movado you know it might be eleven hundred bucks twelve hundred bucks.
Nothing super crazy like you know Rolex is ten grand but nice you know expensive watches.
Yeah.
And they were nice.
This watch that I have on right now I exponentially get more compliments on this watch every day almost.
People pointed out and go I love that watch.
That's amazing.
Guess how much this watch cost.
It's the cheapest watch in the set huh.
Guess how much.
It looks nice though.
I guess three hundred bucks.
That's around what I was going to guess.
Thirty dollars.
What?
Thirty dollars.
So again it goes that's another great thing it goes to show you right.
It's not always about the brand.
It's not always about the clout.
It's not always about how much something costs.
Let's go.
That's good.
Literally this is the second one I've had of the exact same watch.
So thirty dollars.
So yeah you don't have to spend a lot of money you know to have nice things I guess.
Yeah that's wonderful.
No but I appreciate you guys having me seriously.
This was so much fun especially for an old man like me to hang out with you guys and you know this is a different world for me.
So I loved it man.
I loved it.
I love you guys and just thanks for having me.
Yeah for sure.
We love you Dave for real.
The words you spoke will definitely definitely help other people so that's amazing.
Awesome man.
Appreciate it.
All right guys thank you for listening to watch this whole episode.
I really appreciate it.
It's definitely our longest one.
But if you don't already if you're listening on Spotify or listening on Apple podcast or any platform that you can subscribe definitely give us a follow subscribe.
Five star review and share us out on social media if you really like this episode.
We honestly really appreciate it every single time.
We see somebody share out one of our episodes on their Instagram or Facebook or whatever platform you're on.
So yeah we'll say thank you.
Thank you Dave for coming down and we see you guys next time.
We love you.