1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,600 Alright, how's it going everyone? Welcome to the Technically Short podcast where 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:14,480 Sean Short and me, Thomas Carney, talk about pretty much any topic under the sun 3 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:23,360 and with our very different personalities we come up we like to 4 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:28,160 we'll present our different perspectives different and different 5 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:34,920 perspective thoughts and experiences that we've had throughout our lives so 6 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:39,440 without further ado Sean what are we talking about today? Today we're 7 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,560 going to talk about relationships I feel like that's something that everybody 8 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:49,240 loves to listen on and get an idea of what we want and what is a goal and all 9 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,000 that type of good stuff we're about to dive in deep so grab your coffee grab 10 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:59,040 your doughnut grab whatever you about to eat or drink and get in a nice comfy 11 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:11,040 chair because it's about to go down popcorn ready. Alright Shawn, I wrote down a 12 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:22,040 couple questions there like five minutes ago and not even but uh I'm gonna ask a 13 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:26,760 question but uh then you can ask me the same question you ask me you can ask me 14 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,600 a different one we can go back and forth whatever um but let's just start off 15 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,120 let's start off with us like this was your question you already brought it up 16 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:41,520 a little bit um what was it called you brought it up a little bit before before 17 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:46,000 we started recording but um what do you want or what are you looking for in a 18 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:56,680 relationship? Okay so for me what I look for in a relationship is a beautiful 19 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:04,080 woman who's chasing after God who loves me that's like my goal of a relationship 20 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:14,840 right so if she meets those criteria that's like an instant win. Hey is that 21 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,600 it? Yeah. That's a beautiful one who's chasing after God that's your 22 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:29,080 only criteria. Yeah that's literally it for me. Yeah got a wide pool. Trying to make it easy. 23 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:39,720 Easy for who? For me. I feel like that makes it more complicated. No because I 24 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,580 feel like if you put like a whole bunch of restrictions on what your wife has 25 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:49,200 to do then it just limits everything that she had like is what if you find a 26 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:54,320 woman for instance like if you're like my wife has to be super person who knows 27 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:59,800 how to cook and clean and whatever else but what if your wife like God gives you 28 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,480 is like she doesn't do any of that but she loves you well and she works like an 29 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,160 extra job or something else where like you have you might have to pick up a 30 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,760 little bit of her slack but it's totally worth it you know I mean like I feel 31 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,880 like some things are give-and-take up until it gets to the point where 32 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:21,800 somebody's getting abused in the relationship. Right so for me what 33 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:26,400 you like for me like I'm just gonna like what you said is a baseline yeah 34 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:34,840 baseline and that's like it if nothing else that's it that's at least what I'm 35 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:40,440 looking for right like she believes in loves God and I find her actually 36 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:46,080 physically attractive right absolutely um where physical attraction I think I 37 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:51,520 heard this particularly from Ben Stewart is the least important of the most 38 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:57,840 important things I agree and it's because you want to my dad told me this 39 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,640 when I was young he told me this my whole life he's like you should be able 40 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:06,920 to look at your woman you eat what your wife and never and never doubt in your 41 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:11,320 mind that she's the most beautiful woman in the room right I agree I hope and 42 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:17,960 that like there's and some of that beauty comes from doesn't all come from 43 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:22,160 looks a lot of experts a lot of is also personality I agree who they are as a 44 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:29,320 person I've heard people say that the longer they date somebody the more 45 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:35,920 beautiful that other person becomes so I think like with me like I'm gonna say 46 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:40,760 I'm gonna try to ask you the question like with that being the baseline of her 47 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:49,200 being beautiful and loving God what would be the nice to have the nice to 48 00:04:49,200 --> 00:05:00,880 have is a wife who can cook clean or she contributes like a lot to the finances 49 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:06,080 if she can't let she can't go can clean I'm not like like that's a must but 50 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,440 those are like I feel like those are really good things because like what if 51 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:15,920 you're having a bad day and I work like 60 hours that week or like 80 hours that 52 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:21,120 week I would like for my wife to be able to be like hey um even if she can't 53 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:25,200 cook her clean that she at least like makes an effort to try to do so where 54 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:30,680 right she's like okay I can't cook let me go grab them some takeout or I can't 55 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:35,840 cook or let my mom show me a recipe I could try to make this one thing I'm good 56 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:39,040 at this one thing and he might like that one thing you know right if it's a 57 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:45,560 spaghetti pasta or tacos or whatever so if she's able to just constantly you 58 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:51,720 know like do nice at ease that's what I call them nice at ease okay 59 00:05:51,720 --> 00:06:06,600 um so sorry I was also writing some things down as you were talking like 60 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:11,520 whenever you said like if you said something whenever you were like you're 61 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:17,840 like you're uh easier you're the nice that these are your nice to have these 62 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:22,400 are like if she like it really what you're saying it sounded to me that it 63 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:26,960 wasn't necessarily that she cooks and cleans right like that's not an office 64 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:33,800 it's a night it would be like cool if that's something she endured to do right 65 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:41,200 but also like it's more to you is definitely to you and I think to me also 66 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:48,640 to a lot of people it's more it's less about a particular thing that they do 67 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:57,320 but a particular action but more about how they it's more about how they are to 68 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:04,080 you it's like how great how do they like do they have the foresight the foresight 69 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:08,560 and the care some people some people do not care about that stuff some people's 70 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,520 like hey I can some people want to be able don't want to feel like that's 71 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,160 putting a burden on somebody else and I feel like that to me that's not to me 72 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:22,160 I've heard people say that to me that sounds unhealthy but um that's me some 73 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:27,040 people find out like hey like flat out like that's just that's just them and 74 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,920 that I won't go too far into that I don't understand that mindset but the 75 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:38,680 but like I think just one just wanting there's nothing wrong with wanting the 76 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:49,640 other of wanting your significant other to I guess in your mind that you are 77 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,840 doing going down a very particular path of like I'm going down for the day I've 78 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:57,480 had a long day she knows that there it would be nice if she did something nice 79 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:02,120 something nice to show that she cares and that I'm doing these things because 80 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,480 I'm not at that point if you're coming home to a wife you're not just doing it 81 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:10,020 for you you're doing it for the you doing it for both of you or the family 82 00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:15,960 yeah um so it's and it's a two-way something that's a two-way street like 83 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:20,400 it obviously it's like absolutely and I feel like if some people like I like to 84 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:24,000 do nice things for other people and I was like not people to do nice things 85 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,160 for me or they're just like I just like to do nice things for people but I don't 86 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,120 really care if people they do think like that nice things for me or not but like 87 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:38,200 there's um one way as long as they're not mean some people are like that too 88 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:42,400 but like and there's nothing there's anything necessarily wrong with that 89 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,680 it's just how just how you particularly perceive things being done it's good 90 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:52,640 kind of dives into the love languages a little bit but um now that we brought 91 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:57,720 that up I'm just gonna look up all the love language are just love languages 92 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:03,440 are just to make sure I remember them all don't skip any over okay well that's 93 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:09,840 not I try to find a list of love languages and I get a sofa couch the 94 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:15,360 fuck I was I was like to take the quiz for the five months as a book I don't 95 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:21,840 want a book okay um do you know what your love languages are Sean? I would 96 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:29,240 say um I think quality time is like my number one I love touching feeling 97 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:33,320 that's nice too and gifts for sure like those are like the top three of me 98 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,440 cuz like if you get me something it doesn't even have to be like something 99 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,760 expensive it could just be something it was like something I liked it's like 10 100 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,740 or 5 bucks or something but it's just a thought that matters it's like oh like 101 00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:50,960 that's what I least love cuz my mom's I guess she kind of like brought me up 102 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:55,320 that way like she'd come back from like a grocery store or something for me my 103 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:59,560 brother and then like have like a toy or something that we didn't ask for or 104 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:02,680 anything like that she was just like hey you guys been good and I've just been 105 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:07,040 thinking about you here's this you know I mean it was like a reward system and it 106 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,840 also was about just like caring and showing that like hey I really do love 107 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:16,440 you I know that I don't have much but and I remembered that figure you like I 108 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,360 remember that shirt you like that I remember that shoes blah blah you know I 109 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:25,360 mean and and it was on my mind when I was at work or due to this and you you've 110 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:34,840 been good so here yeah what about you what are your like top three all love 111 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:40,640 languages I think my top one is quality time and I remember we talked about 112 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,840 this I don't know if you were there for that conversation there was a group of 113 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:50,920 us after I said that after after church on Sunday one day so and we were talking 114 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,840 we talked a lot about quality time and how different people perceive quality 115 00:10:54,840 --> 00:11:02,440 time in different ways for me quality time is specific time that's more than 116 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:10,680 one to me this quality time that to me that's like the purest form of quality 117 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:16,680 time it's one-on-one and like you're doing something together there's not 118 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:23,560 like like you can be out maybe you're out on a date somewhere but the focus 119 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:28,520 isn't on anybody else but each other that is like that's like to me the 120 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:35,240 purest form of quality time that I honestly like I honestly like to have a 121 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:40,640 lot of that just and like there's of course there's quality I think there's 122 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:46,000 there's different levels of quality time whether it's like you can be out with 123 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,240 other people and friends but that kind of to me diminishes the quality of the 124 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,480 time that you're spending as far as the relationship goes it's still good 125 00:11:54,480 --> 00:12:00,320 quality time with friends but not a quality time for the relationship and 126 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:04,480 some people would drastically disagree with that for themselves and that 127 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,720 obviously obviously but we're talking about us I keep going back and forth 128 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:17,880 but um yeah definitely quality time man words of affirmation to probably right 129 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:23,360 underneath that one and then acts of service I like receiving gifts but I 130 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:29,600 prefer to give them I love giving good gifts because I spend time I'll be the 131 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,320 person that right takes notes they okay they just said this thing okay I'm 132 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:39,120 writing that down on my phone my notes going in I'm ordering it pre-order we're 133 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,160 gonna get we're gonna get them it we're gonna get I'm gonna give them that 134 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:46,920 gift but um you know I'd say that but that's me quality quality quality 135 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:52,680 quality time acts of service and quality time words of affirmation that acts of 136 00:12:52,680 --> 00:13:01,240 service I think those are good ones definitely good ones yeah I think like 137 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:07,160 you kind of already touched on it we're gonna do go into another question um you 138 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:14,120 kind of already touched on it um I just realized I didn't start the timer but 139 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:23,400 but uh always just gonna pop back up that's funny okay we got time um but 140 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:29,040 like you're kind of very slightly touched on it without actually saying it 141 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:38,480 but um in relationship what are your red flags my red flags is if a girl that I 142 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:49,160 like is less attention on me like for instance like if we go somewhere and 143 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:55,840 it's just like she is more focused on everybody except me then I would that 144 00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:03,560 be a red flag um I think another red flag is like no quality time like we 145 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:11,400 were talking about yeah um no um gifts and no touching that would also be like 146 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:16,040 those are like the red flags those those would be the least but definitely like if 147 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:22,720 we go anywhere and she can't like either if she can't compensate or she hates my 148 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:28,320 friends or something because most of the people I bring around are like family to 149 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:34,400 me so like yeah if she would hate my friends that would be a red flag yeah 150 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:39,040 now I just thought of this as you were talking it kind of goes backwards in it 151 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:46,280 for a second but um you said there's no quality time um I talked about what I 152 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,640 consider quality time what do you consider quality time I think quality 153 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:55,120 time is spending time with a person it could be with friends it could be 154 00:14:55,120 --> 00:15:00,800 without friends but it's intentional and it's about like okay like for instance 155 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:05,520 like if we all went to Kennywood you you your significant other me my 156 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,200 significant other and a whole bunch of other friends to me that would still be 157 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:15,880 quality time it would not be quality time is if like me and her work together 158 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:21,200 or and she's just on the phone and like ignore me or not giving attention right 159 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:26,760 if it if it's specifically attention for both of us yeah I would say it's quality 160 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:31,600 time okay no that makes a lot of sense but I would say like yeah there's 161 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,680 definitely value and all of that is but even for the relationship like I said 162 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,640 like it diminishes the quality of the quality time the way I think about it 163 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,800 whenever you're out with other people and it's not just singular attention but 164 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,160 like I'm talking about that's like the purest form right of what I consider to 165 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:51,440 be quality time but then you're out with other people it's there's still value to 166 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,400 that could be like you get to be out maybe with her friends that maybe you 167 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,880 don't hang out with too often and you get to get to know them a little bit 168 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:04,280 better and helps you get closer to her in respect in response to that I think 169 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:10,360 like and you can't have that I think that I think both there's places for 170 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:18,640 both and there should be time for both um I oh yeah so yeah I just wanted to 171 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,560 make sure I rehashed that because I might have just left it at like being 172 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,080 like yeah no that's not quality time at all with hanging out with other friends 173 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,760 that's not really what I was saying so I wanted to rehash on it but um I think 174 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:34,360 you did good I don't know so what you meant yeah um got any questions for me 175 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:41,800 yeah um so now about the game for you some hard questions oh man so this is 176 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:46,920 gonna be a real hard question I want you to give me the exact same question back 177 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:52,360 to okay this is gonna be kind of hard some people are gonna be like what okay 178 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:57,280 so describe the girl you like the type of girl you like I'm gonna fly out be 179 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:02,800 like what is your thing describe the type of girl that I love the type of 180 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:13,680 girl in general yeah um if you want I can go first so I'll show like we're not 181 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,920 we're not saying nothing crazy like you know I mean I'm not gonna say something 182 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:22,600 out of pocket but we're it's just be a good way of like showing like like okay 183 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:30,200 these are the type of girls are like yeah yeah you go ahead first I think on 184 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:35,680 that okay so for me the type of girls I usually like are like brunette blonde in 185 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:40,640 black hair like that's just like a thing I just generally like right in red hair 186 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:46,360 too sometimes so then um every hair color 187 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:54,680 second I kind of like natural kind of I like long hair for sure um definitely 188 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,840 like slim build for sure and that would be like that would be like it's type of 189 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:05,680 girl I like and then like her eyes perfect if their eyes are great lovely 190 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:13,120 okay what about personality trait personality trait the girls I like I 191 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:26,600 would say or usually happy caring kind and strong those are like the the four 192 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:32,920 types wrong in what way strong in the way of like if something was to go down 193 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:40,640 they would be able to protect either themselves or me like I love a girl who's 194 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:47,280 like strong to be like okay oh you're not gonna speak to that person that way 195 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:51,080 because that was rude you know me I love like like I love to see her growth 196 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:56,880 assertive in the kindness way like in a hero way not like in like a bully way 197 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:01,400 like you know I mean that type of way but like on a way of even if it's what 198 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,840 their own friends and then like somebody else is being rude to their friend and 199 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,520 they're able to step up and say hey you're not gonna talk to my friend like 200 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:11,000 that like you know even if it's something like that like I love to see 201 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:18,000 like a heroic type of woman like I'm going and strong and loving yeah no I 202 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:26,520 that's cool I like like the I like you know you're thinking about like um the 203 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:31,920 woman the woman the per the woman that stand that stands up for Santa for her 204 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,160 friends or stands up for the per even if her friends making someone to somebody 205 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:41,800 that would say hey that's gossip yeah that's not that like if it's cuz she's 206 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:46,160 being a cute being a Christian woman it's like we like don't got like 207 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:51,160 Christians like we try our best at least in the circle I know we do our best not 208 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:57,720 to gossip right um and so no I got a hundred percent get what you're saying 209 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:05,200 um for me the woman I'm not gonna like physical traits like I did I find out a 210 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,280 lot of different kind of a woman attractive so like um that's as long as 211 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:15,320 I find her attractive like I don't have a like a flat-out preference I used to 212 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:21,080 but like then I realized it was just like more more about like current 213 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:27,200 circumstance yeah then it was about like um what I act overall over the overall 214 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:38,040 picture but um but like personality wise like a strong will and one that's 215 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:44,520 strong a strong it has that strong will um have a strong will now fret not 216 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:51,160 worried about not afraid to call me out of my crap um somebody that um somebody 217 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:57,800 somebody that not just is growing alongside me in Christ but it's also 218 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:04,320 going to grow me by a calling me out of my crap and not being afraid of not 219 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:10,440 being worried about um worried about it whenever I call her out in hers okay I 220 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,200 think that's that should happen in every relationship I think you know love you 221 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:20,640 loving caring way because like I think this goes for anybody that you're close 222 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:27,440 to friends or thing that significant others family um if you're not calling 223 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,280 each other out on your crap then you're not being loving to that person right and 224 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:37,360 so like I think I want to walk so I would want a woman that is going to call 225 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:46,720 me out and I like me that being having to be able to be humble and humble and 226 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,680 respectful enough to accept what she's saying even if I think she's wrong 227 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:56,080 right and vice versa like it's I keep saying like things are too like both 228 00:21:56,080 --> 00:22:01,440 these things are two-way street like specifically like a woman who like who 229 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:07,560 is a woman who like for me like a woman who is like a leader a woman who is like a 230 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:14,960 person other people other people look to that would be like the pinnacle ideal 231 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:24,160 because like for me because I don't know I feel like the way I'm striped the way 232 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:31,920 I'm striving for God yeah like I I personally work on my own personal growth 233 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:43,080 every day and I focus on my body my mind my spirit and I don't see me ending up 234 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:47,520 with somebody that doesn't care about taking care of their mind body and 235 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:52,400 their spirit all three in that Trinity yeah I feel like everybody should do 236 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,200 that to be honest like but not everybody does like there are some great women out 237 00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:04,400 there that are phenomenal but they and like but there's an area maybe in their 238 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:11,600 spirit that they lack or and when I say my bot and I mentioned the body I mean 239 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:18,680 just fit simply eating well yeah doing the things that we do for our own not 240 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:25,680 just survival but like because it's it no I mean like the reason I love health 241 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:31,200 and like I love learning more about it and growing in that for my for my own 242 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,880 sake is because it's not just for my own sake it's so that I can serve the kingdom 243 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,720 of God at the highest possible capacity well that is good that'll preach and 244 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:46,460 like so like I think everybody like you hear people your guys be like yeah my 245 00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:52,760 body's a temple and like it literally is yeah it literally is a temple for the 246 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:58,000 Lord right and like we should and I believe I want to be with a woman that 247 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,440 understands that that takes care of herself and the case takes care of 248 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:10,200 herself and and again that's an area where I would want to be called on if 249 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,080 I'm not and then like us be able to help each other in those areas so that we 250 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:19,480 can all grow up so we can both grow in that mind body a spear arena at the same 251 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:25,560 love at the same level or bring each other up in congruency to a higher level 252 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:31,560 of each one of those three um yeah that's me yeah that's that's good stuff 253 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:39,480 man honestly that like that hits hard I don't know about the for me I don't know 254 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:43,680 about the health as much long as she's not like super unhealthy like yeah I 255 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:50,280 don't want her to get like diabetes like first day in but like I I just want her 256 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,600 to be able to be happy but I also do want her to have some type of health I 257 00:24:54,600 --> 00:25:00,000 think spiritual mental and physical health is really important like so like 258 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:05,400 those are things like I feel like as a couple as a unit we should be both like 259 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,240 as we're getting closer to God that just I feel like should be natural 260 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,600 naturally the course like you should start getting better at certain deaths all 261 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:18,480 this stuff that you're like suck at when you first walk with Christ you shouldn't 262 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:23,360 suck at at the end I guess I guess that's sorry good oh no that's good okay 263 00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:29,520 I guess like I feel I feel convicted by saying what I said because like it's 264 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,520 they're all great traits I do believe like like everybody should take care of 265 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:41,520 themselves in those three areas but like the idea that when I ask somebody out 266 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:46,760 fully expecting them to be aligned with all those three areas and being as good 267 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:53,040 as they can be is unrealistic and I acknowledge that like it's like I'm sure 268 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:58,360 there's people and there's people out there that exist so like not saying like 269 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:04,040 but I'm also but then being like if I find someone attractive I want to ask 270 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:10,480 them out and I and on a date and I find out that they're lacking in body lacking 271 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,160 they don't care that they care the body as well as well but they're strongly 272 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:18,760 very strong in the other areas then it's like that would that would take some time 273 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:23,120 or contemplation for me it depends on like how bad how if they don't actually 274 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:30,840 take care of themselves at all or not but like the because I don't know I I 275 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:38,880 like I guess yeah I find it I find it attractive when a woman takes 276 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:44,960 care of herself essentially so like if yeah so kind of like I want her to be 277 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:54,360 healthy happy healthy and happy just like you said that maybe like I just 278 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:57,840 because we're different people at a higher degree of healthiness yeah but 279 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:03,160 like there's but like it's also not going into the relationship being like 280 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:08,120 oh man she's so unhealthy she's just unhealthy now but you know if she dates 281 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:12,000 me then she'll get healthier like that's not that's not healthy 282 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:17,920 it's like a codependency or she won't happen well no it's like on God where 283 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:22,320 she's able to do that on her own for striving right exactly she I shouldn't 284 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:27,520 expect her to to lean on me because she should be leaning on God right and I 285 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:31,080 should be leaning on God like she should be the first priority regardless and 286 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:35,100 like right now obviously my body's take you can't there's no video here but my 287 00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:38,760 body's taking a hit recently because I can't work out as heavy as I used to 288 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:45,560 yeah but you still look great I appreciate it so like I sure I find out 289 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:51,640 other ways to work out and be healthy but like the balls expecting somebody 290 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:58,640 else to go that hard also as hard as I try to go for myself it's there's there 291 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,880 for me I guess there's a there's a line there I don't know where it's at yet 292 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:08,560 maybe one one day I'll figure it out but right but like as long as she cares 293 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,840 about the mind body spirit it to a degree I guess I think that's fair there 294 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:18,280 that that should be that's kind of like what I'm looking for and like it has 295 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:23,800 that understanding that it's important that it's at least important that is 296 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,960 that it's important I realize I said it really quiet but um I totally agree with 297 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:35,040 you I think that that should be like a key factor no matter what because I mean 298 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:39,160 you can't just have somebody not caring about any of those three especially if 299 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,760 you're like I said if you're on the walk with Christ you're just gonna start 300 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,160 caring about those three you're just gonna help it yeah I got you focusing on 301 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:51,280 Jesus it's just gonna happen naturally yeah so we're probably gonna go a little 302 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:55,440 over time which is fine I'm okay with that okay this is a good conversation 303 00:28:55,440 --> 00:29:00,240 um we have one more question and I the way we're definitely gonna go over time 304 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:05,760 we only have one minute to 30 minutes but um and this is big another big question 305 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:13,360 what is the one biggest lesson you've learned from your past relationships I 306 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:22,120 learned my biggest lesson I was to say is honestly get a woman who's of God 307 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:27,680 because I've chosen plenty of women who are not of God who either say they're 308 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,040 like a Christian but they don't really like read the Bible they don't pray 309 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,160 they're not focused on God and like I would just date them because I thought 310 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,640 they were attractive and it would be the worst thing ever for me because they 311 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:47,000 either cheat or they would not be a woman to be a wife or they would just 312 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:54,960 have me in a state of chaos or drama or all this stuff that like if you don't 313 00:29:54,960 --> 00:30:03,680 get a woman who's founded in God then I personally have seen the chaos for the 314 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:10,200 choice of not choosing a woman of God yeah so for me and my biggest my biggest 315 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:15,680 take away from all my past relationships would definitely be having a woman who 316 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:23,600 is Christ centered and also like don't settle so if you don't that would be my 317 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:28,080 second one because there's times where I dated girls who I who I didn't find 318 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:34,280 attractive but I wanted to just give them an opportunity and it almost cost 319 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:40,200 me to like feel like I was settling so like anytime I seen something I was like 320 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:46,700 looking so get a girl that God has given you the eyes that you think that she's 321 00:30:46,700 --> 00:30:53,960 beautiful but make sure her heart in and mine and soul is Christ centered that's 322 00:30:53,960 --> 00:31:04,800 good that's good yeah you good yeah okay um for me it's like I guess I was looking 323 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:09,320 at it from a different like like that's good and if this is why it's good to 324 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,040 have two perspective two different perspectives because I get a woman of 325 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:18,400 God and it's funny cuz like me I've only had like two longer-term 326 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:25,400 relationships in my life and like one was with a woman that that wasn't 327 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,480 nothing to do with God would get mad if you brought up the name his name same 328 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:36,160 and then another and then the next one where there was years in between was 329 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:42,720 with a woman that love that loves God that one didn't end up that one ended up 330 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:49,080 as well and like I between both of those after like seeking the camp seeking 331 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,840 good counsel and like talking with people like after the second one not 332 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,880 really after the first one I was still trying to figure out where who I was 333 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:02,440 after that first relationship but the biggest thing I learned wasn't 334 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:10,520 necessarily about the woman bows more about myself that before I was gonna 335 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:15,840 look for a woman to date is that I had to be chasing God with all that I had 336 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:21,760 before I went to chase went on to chase a woman because like the first 337 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,840 relationship I obviously wasn't chasing God that was chasing the other chasing 338 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:30,720 the woman for very stupid reasons and then and maybe one day we can go 339 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:36,560 vulnerable into that into what that was but the next relationship I thought I 340 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:41,360 was good I thought everything was I thought I was like this is it this is I 341 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:52,840 found a woman in Christ and I still I had my own issues and so did she but I 342 00:32:52,840 --> 00:33:04,480 had my own issues that I had I had to deal with and and like I didn't know I 343 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:09,440 didn't know that I had these issues until after the relationship ended and 344 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:13,640 that was for after I went and talked with like someone like pastor Ed and my 345 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:18,520 Andrew regatta who you know and everybody but soliciting probably knows 346 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:26,560 mainly maybe um but uh and understanding like what it means to date as a 347 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:32,400 Christian what it means to be seeking somebody of God but also making sure 348 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:38,320 that you're in line with Christ having a firm understanding of who you're looking 349 00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:44,320 for and why you're looking for them so for me like the one big I guess I kind 350 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,640 of went on multiple couple different tangents there but like the one big 351 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:55,280 thing I learned was that kind of just to wait for me and I was just like to wait 352 00:33:55,280 --> 00:34:04,960 in the process and to allow time to heal and that God will that one day God will 353 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:13,360 provide yeah and like to have that just put that trust in him because I'm not 354 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,800 saying I'm never going to ask a woman now until like God hits me in the face 355 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:24,360 and says there she is yeah that happens but not very often right but uh but like 356 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:30,760 I think now I have a healthier mindset than I used to going into the whatever 357 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:37,160 next relationship next first date where my mindset isn't going to be about 358 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:42,480 whether it's going to be less about am I doing the right things and just making 359 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:47,160 sure that I'm actually just along with God right um that's good that's yeah 360 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,480 that's like the purest thing that I can really say that I just had to learn that 361 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:56,160 to be more aligned with Christ and just kind of dive into my relationship with 362 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,360 it's him more before I went and tried to do a relationship with someone else I 363 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:09,240 think that's really good but yeah I think we are we were definitely over 364 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:16,800 time yeah definitely only a little bit but um but you know we like to let's see 365 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:23,280 here we'd like to try to end off these episodes on a somewhat lighter lighter 366 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:33,400 note so thank you for listening so far and we're gonna end off on I just I just 367 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:38,280 picked some really random questions to see what Sean will say I love it so 368 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:46,320 Sean yes chicken steak or fish and why chicken steak or fish I'm gonna have to 369 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:51,040 go with chicken just because if we're we're gonna have to choose these as like 370 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,200 I don't know like for the rest of your life this is the meat you eat yeah you 371 00:35:55,200 --> 00:36:01,120 get you have chicken sandwiches you have chicken tacos you have chicken pasta you 372 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:06,880 have chicken and rice you have chicken and like so much other good stuff so I'm 373 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:12,320 gonna choose chicken and ramen noodles like everything chicken chicken to be 374 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:17,720 fair you can have you can have chicken you have steak and rice yes yes I'm 375 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:21,040 saying but like if that's like of all the categories like that's all you can 376 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,720 eat that's the only meat and I'm gonna I don't know I'm gonna choose okay if it 377 00:36:25,720 --> 00:36:34,880 was hamburger I would have been hamburger okay okay I now with that fun 378 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:41,560 I thought was going to be a good one oh yeah it's not as good as a mattress but 379 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,040 um what about you though what do you what would you what was yours 380 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:50,720 chicken for sure yeah we actually agree on something yeah 381 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:59,200 we agreed on Jesus right yeah oh man yeah no chicken is just it's just good 382 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:04,960 full nice protein um but then Sam is good too that but Sam is expensive chicken 383 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:14,200 is good but but uh but all right so that that's the end of the episode so stay 384 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:20,040 tuned people so yeah we're uh yeah we're gonna go be back next week guys all 385 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:24,760 right thanks thanks for listening if you like this episode go ahead and share it 386 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:29,080 out on your socials and let your friends know if you liked this episode and 387 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,760 think that this might help somebody out or just like want to start a 388 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:36,480 conversation off with somebody about relationships and think hey I'll just 389 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,080 send this to them to start the conversation I don't know I'm just 390 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:43,960 saying words right now but like it's really good but I think like yeah if 391 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,920 you got any anything out of this you could like the episode tag tag Sean and 392 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:55,080 I both in on Instagram Thomas dot Carney and he's teacher pastor Sean teacher 393 00:37:55,080 --> 00:38:01,960 pastor Sean all right guys we'll talk to you later I think it's really good