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What's up guys?

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Welcome back to the Homework Assignment Podcast.

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I'm your host RJ Patino.

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I wanted to just get on here and talk really briefly.

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This isn't going to be a full episode, but just kind of talk about something that I see

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a lot of lack in, I think not just in society, but people that are around me as well and

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workers as well within my business and family.

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I think it affects every single one of us at some point in our lives.

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That is the ability to change an attribute or ourselves as a whole, who we are, the way

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we think, our attitudes, our mindset.

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There is really one thing that I truly think it comes down to and how you actually change

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and that is you change your heart and you do something about it.

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So action.

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I talked a little bit about this and we'll continue to talk about this repetitively over

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the years and over the life of this podcast.

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That change requires action.

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We all have stuff in our lives, whether it's the way we look, dress, the way we act, the

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way we perform, the way we talk.

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There's always something that we critique ourselves about or something that we want

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to change or maybe it's constructive criticism that we get from other people.

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Maybe it's something that people say, hey, you should change this about yourself.

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I think a lot of times, I know for a fact a lot of times, us being human beings, we

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talk about change a lot or we think about change a lot, but the one thing we don't

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get to is the actual doing it part.

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Actually changing ourselves and actually putting in the action to do so.

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I think it's important to recognize the power within ourselves to make these changes.

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We see other people maybe live lives that we want to live or we see other people get

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things that we've always wanted or maybe we see other people's dreams come true and maybe

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it's our dream or maybe we feel like, hey, you know what?

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What I want in life isn't coming to pass.

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That person is just lucky.

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It's not luck.

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It's due to somebody's action and commitment and consistency to something that they want

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or something that they're trying to achieve.

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I look at people that are overweight or people who are unhealthy and they talk about, yeah,

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I really want to eat better.

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I really want to, I got diabetes, history in my family and okay, well, you want to change

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and you know you should, but yet you do nothing about it.

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And then you sit there and you judge people that are doing what you have always wanted

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to do and have never brought yourself to actually doing.

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And it creates this anger.

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It creates this envy.

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It creates this depressive state of mind, a victim state of mind.

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And that only brings that person down 10 times further.

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It only hurts them more and it does absolutely no good.

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And so I know in society right now that victim mindset, that poor me mindset has really taken

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a popularity.

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And it's hard for me to sit back and really see that.

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And I think, you know, again, from my personal experience, I had a part of my life that I'm

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not very proud of.

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I had a part of my life that I wasn't making the best decisions and I wasn't taking care

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of myself physically, emotionally and mentally.

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And due to the decisions and not taking care of myself, that also affected the people that

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I loved and the people that were close to me.

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And so there was this group of years that I really, instead of not only did I not progress,

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I didn't stay stationary, but I actually kept going further down and getting deeper and

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deeper.

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And I look back and I wonder or I know how now, but I used to look back and wonder, OK,

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well, how did I change?

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How did I come to actually pull myself out of this state of being a victim?

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You know, my my childhood and my life with my parents and my family, one, I know there's

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people that have worse situations out there.

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I know there's people that have worse cards dealt to them.

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And I don't think that makes what I went through any easier.

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But I definitely believe that what I went through was very hard and it took a toll on

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me, especially as an older brother of five siblings.

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I felt even more guilty because I decided to succumb to a life that only brought more

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sorrow and pain.

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And not only did that hurt me, but I also felt the guilt of not being the example and

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not being the leader to my siblings that they needed in the time that we all needed something

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to look to.

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And so I know there were plenty of times during this phase of my life where I really wanted

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to change.

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I know there was so many times where I looked myself in the mirror and said, you know what?

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Today's the day I'm going to do this.

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And there were times that I put in action and my action was definitely in the right

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place and the right mindset.

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And I do remember even seeing fruits to the action that I did put in, but I didn't put

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enough in or I didn't keep going.

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I saw a little bit of progress and I was like, oh, that's good.

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I'm good.

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And I would stop.

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And so what it really came down to is no matter how many times I tried, no matter how many

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signs God gave me in my life that were perfect opportunities to pull myself out of this place

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in this phase, the one thing that really worked that was really hard to do was to completely

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separate myself from the environment, from the people, from the toxic situations that

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I was constantly putting myself in and completely separate myself from it.

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And that goes into, you know, I moved 30 or I guess 20 miles away from the place where

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I was living out, where all my friends were, where all that, you know, bad environment

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was and the pressure, the peer pressure, I moved myself away from I moved, you know,

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40 minutes away and I not only moved out there, but I also stopped talking to certain people.

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I stopped associating myself.

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I started saying no to going to certain parties and events.

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And I really, even though I was far, far from perfect.

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Okay.

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I want to make that very clear.

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It wasn't just like, okay, just because I'm away from here, like all my decisions and

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temptations are easy to ignore.

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That wasn't the case.

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I still had issues.

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I still had temptations that I succumb to and I still had a hard time changing my heart,

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not just changing my situation, but changing who I was.

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But that first step of actually getting myself out of that environment was one of the biggest

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steps that I took and it brought the most progress.

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Okay.

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It was the best action I could have done because it gave me the strength to say no.

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It gave me the strength to see and feel that, okay, this is something new.

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If I just focus here, give me something to focus on.

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Okay.

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It was like, it was a whole new environment and it felt good.

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And so I was able to distinguish that and be like, okay, well, I know I feel bad when

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I go here and being here, I feel a lot better.

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So I was able to actually separate myself from everything.

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And not only that, the people I was now around.

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So there were still some really good friends of mine that came with me and, or that I still

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talk to.

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And those are the friends you want, the friends that will also support you when you're trying

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to change your life or when you're trying to do something, even though they may not

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be.

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But at the same time, we were all in a position to where we were all kind of just doing it

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together, which was fantastic.

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And so the people I was now surrounding myself by were people that were supportive and people

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that wanted the best.

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And also like, Hey, well, I wasn't going to parties where, you know, they're where I shouldn't

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be.

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I was now going to hang out in places and environments and whatnot, where I could actually

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make good decisions.

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I wasn't surrounded by those temptations.

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And so, you know, that over time, obviously really changed and helped or helped me change.

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And so I know for a fact that during this whole phase of my life, one of the main excuses

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I had was that, okay, you know what?

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Poor me, the way my, my family fell apart, the way we lost everything, the way I thought

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my dad or both my parents were somebody and it turns out they were actually somebody that

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didn't even know.

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And so that trust I had that, Hey, you know, I used to have, it's funny.

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I used to, I remember, I even now see movies and I see, I get really emotional in movies

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when it comes to like a dad, especially in those heartfelt moments with like a dad and

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a child or, you know, you watch movies where a dad like goes, you know, risk his own life

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to save his child.

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Like I get really emotional because I remember feeling safe with my dad.

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And I felt safe with my mom too in moments, but my dad, especially like my dad to me was

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a hero.

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I remember feeling so safe with him.

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I remember to this day exactly how that felt and exactly, you know, I still, I still yearn

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for that.

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And so, you know, watching this person that I always felt safe around completely unraveled

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before my eyes and then also come to find out the life he lived where I thought, you

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know, he was someone that I knew and turns out he wasn't even then, you know, that kind

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of that, that, that was just that tipped me over.

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I mean, it was really hard.

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And so I use all this as a justification to the way I lived.

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I use all this as a justification to the way I acted, to, to how I performed in every aspect

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of my life.

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And I expected, and I think I did this more subconsciously than, you know, realizing it.

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I expected people to understand that the reason I was doing what I was doing or the reason

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I did what I did and whatever situation was directly because of what happened in my life

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or my trauma in my life.

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And that's what the victim mindset is.

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And it took me years to figure out, okay, I can either just sit here and say, poor me

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and see what comes up in my life and try and get pity from other people and try to know

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when I make a mistake or when I need some help, you know, try to use that situation

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to even manipulate people.

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I finally realized it was either that or I could just stand up, walk away and say, you

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know what, I want something more for myself and for my life.

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And I think it does take time.

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I think it's, you know, it's hard for me to see people that I know or that I love go through

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that.

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Okay, dude, I just wish you knew all it takes is this one decision, one decision to a decision

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that you are you mean a meaningful decision that you want to change.

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And all it takes is that decision and actually following that decision to the end all the

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way through dedicating yourself to it.

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That's all it takes.

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And I know it I'm making it sound easy.

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I know it's not easy, but once you're actually like once you do it and look back, you realize,

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you know, I had me saying that was it.

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That's all I had to do.

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I wasted all this time, this time trying to do so many different things to better myself

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and better my life and get out of the hole I was in and nothing worked.

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And all it took was this.

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I still get baffled sometimes at it.

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And that is really the message I want to share that it comes down to you.

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You have the power.

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We have the power to actually make a change in our lives.

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And so we can sit here and we can mope and we can say, oh, well, my situation is different.

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You don't understand.

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You know what?

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People aren't going to understand.

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I feel like people don't understand me every single day and what I went through.

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Okay.

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And I know I don't understand other people's situations, but it doesn't matter because

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you don't need people to understand.

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The only thing you have to do is understand yourself that you have the power to do something

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about where you're at.

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You have the power to change.

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You have the power to wake up and just decide, make a decision to not be where you're at.

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That's all it comes down to.

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And I wish I could have seen that so much sooner.

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I think I would have been in a way better, stay a way better position.

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I think I would have been able to maybe not feel so guilty, you know, not being there

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for my family because I would have actually been there.

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I think I would have.

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I mean, I'm sure sometimes there's things that we want to go back and change in life.

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I personally, you know, I've told my wife before, like, hey, anything that I would have

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to change or anything that I want to change, if it doesn't lead me to you, I'd rather

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not change it.

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And I'll stick to that all day long.

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But if there's some things that I could change, anyways, that goes into that whole dream state.

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But the point is, is that the victim mentality that society is teaching us to have these

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days that society is saying it's OK to be depressed, it's OK to be codependent, it's

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OK to have anxiety, it's OK because you had trauma.

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This happened to you and that wasn't OK.

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It's OK for you to be nothing or for you to feel the way you're feeling and never do anything

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about it.

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I'm here to tell you that's a bunch of crap.

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OK, that is a lie that is told to us to keep us suppressed.

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And I'm not talking about suppressing, speaking out and, you know, fighting the government.

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I know, like a lot of people go into, you know, politics and stuff, but it's to keep

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us suppressed so that we don't become who we're actually meant to be.

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People want to control us.

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Right.

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And, you know, I believe, hey, and when we talk about religion, like the devil wants

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you to feel that way.

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OK, people want you to be the victim so that they have power over you.

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And when you wake up and realize that and realize that you are being told lies and that

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you actually truly have the power to change yourself, you're going to actually do it and

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you're going to look back and be like, I cannot believe that is all it took.

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And I do not want to discount anxiety, depression.

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Like these are these are real diseases.

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These are real issues.

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I suffered from anxiety and depression for years.

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And I know a lot of other people have to.

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And at the same time, the things that got me to get to overcome those diseases, symptoms,

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mental, whatever you want to call it, was a fact of waking up and deciding, you know

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what, I do not want to be this way.

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The brain is the most powerful thing in this universe.

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Hands down.

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OK, your brain, the ability, your brain has the ability to do absolutely remarkable things

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if you believe and if you utilize that power.

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And so, like I said, you know, I suffer from anxiety.

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I would get in front of people and literally shake.

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I wouldn't I was not able to speak.

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And I thought I needed all this medicine.

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I thought I needed this.

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I thought I needed that.

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But I realized, OK, I have the power to change this.

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OK.

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And at the same time, we do have to trust doctors.

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We do have to, you know, there are, you know, medical professionals or people who can help

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with that.

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And if you need to go get help, go get help, but understand that you can get help.

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Understand that you can change and understand that you can manage and understand that you

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have the power to change everything.

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Do not succumb and settle for a life or a mindset of, well, I can't beat this or, well,

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you know what?

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This is just the cars that I was dealt.

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This is just my situation.

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This is just my life because you will get stuck and you're never going to get out of

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it.

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OK.

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Understand that you have the power.

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And I truly believe having gone through, you know, my own issues in life, having dealt with

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changing my heart completely around changing who I was, what I thought of myself from changing

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the, you know, how I acted, what I ate and consumed and who I hung around and beating

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anxiety, beating depression, even though I, you know, when it comes to those things, it's

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also important to realize and I'm going to go on this standard for a minute that just

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because you're upset because something happened bad in your life does not mean you're depressed.

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OK, I had to explain this to one of my siblings a little while back that, oh, you know what?

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I'm just really sad because this happened and I've been sad for, you know, I'm depressed.

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I've been depressed for a couple of days.

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No, you're sad.

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It's OK to be sad.

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It's OK to feel depression.

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OK, being depressed and having a problem with imbalance of chemicals in your mind is a completely

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different thing than feeling depressed.

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That is important to recognize.

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OK, if my mom or whoever, somebody I love, if they were to die today, I would 100 percent

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be depressed.

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I would 100 percent be upset and sad, but I would get over it.

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I'm not all of a sudden going to have this problem for the rest of my life because I

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lost somebody that I love.

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Like you grow, you get over it.

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It's always going to hurt, right?

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But you learn how to deal with it.

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You learn how to move on.

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OK, sad things can happen without you becoming depressed for the rest of your life or needing

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medication.

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OK, my wife died and I became in that state.

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I'm not going to need medication to get out of that state.

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Right.

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These are the things that I'm talking about.

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These are this is the victim mindset that is talked about so much, that is taught so

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much.

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It's OK to be this.

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It's OK to be 500 pounds.

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OK, it's good.

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It's OK to be OK with your body.

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It's not OK.

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You're going to die from a heart attack by the age of 50.

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OK, you need to get in shape.

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This is the cold heart truth, no matter what anybody says.

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So sum it all up, this victim mindset and understanding that you have the power to change

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your entire life is what I'm really trying to portray.

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And it's a message I've wanted to share for a long time.

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And I'm continually going to share more about it because I've been through that.

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And like I said, my situation may be different than a lot of other people's situation and

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other people's situations may be 10 times worse than what I went through.

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Does not mean that what I went through was any more difficult.

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OK, everybody's different.

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And it was something that held me down for years and I was able to decide I'm going to

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change.

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So if you're dealing with something that's holding you down or has been holding you down

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for years, no matter how grave it may be, you have the ability to change.

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And I invite you to do so.

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I invite you to to tap into that power.

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I invite you to make the decision and then act on it.

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By doing that, you will see progress and you will overcome whatever it is you may be dealing

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with.

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So I just wanted to share a message and I appreciate all you guys who do listen.

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And if you're not subscribed, please do subscribe.

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We have a lot of great content.

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And if you have any questions or comments or if you ever just want to talk to me and

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or even share your experience, I would love to hear your experience.

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I would love to know more about what you've gone through.

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So please click the link, follow, subscribe and be sure to tune in for the rest of these

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episodes and we appreciate each and every one of you.