Welcome to our opening day extravaganza episode.
We have two really fun Games we're going to play.
Kenji and I are stoked for baseball to be back.
When you're listening to this, we are both around
the country getting ready to watch opening day
games. We couldn't be more excited. Welcome to
the extravaganza episode. Kenji, how you doing?
Are you excited? I'm excited. I'm so pumped for
tomorrow. I'm also pumped for today because we
got some fun stuff to talk about. It's a hard
day to figure out things to talk about before
opening day. Yeah. But I think we have some pretty
fun ideas. the four of you out there we hope
you like this um if it's five or six of you even
better yeah what he said what he said we have
two games we're gonna play uh i'm gonna wait
and tell you the title of both of them i guess
one's not really a game but one of them is uh
and This is just a celebration. We're here to
have a good time today. Vibes are super high.
Hopes are sky high for every team this season.
We're about to get started. Unless you're the
Cubs, everybody's undefeated. There's reason
for optimism, unless you're a Cubs fan. Speaking
of no optimism, the Chicago White Sox, Kenji.
How do you feel about the Chicago White Sox?
You know, I... I think they had a great offseason
bringing in Mike Tauchman and releasing Brandon
Drury, who was hitting over. 400 in spring training,
yeah. You know, I think he probably asked for
a release. Probably, like Joey Gallo. Yeah, I
don't want to play for you guys anymore. I hope
Brandon Drury gets picked up because I'm a big
fan of him. Shout out to the Angels a couple
years ago. Good season. But, yeah, the White
Sox are interesting. I don't know how they're
allowed to be as bad as they are and continually
put out what they are putting out there. They
got a whole set of brand new prospects from the
Red Sox and supposedly have gone more... They
supposedly got a lot for, what, Dylan Cease a
couple years ago? Should have got a couple of
them from... Crochet. Crochet. And we'll see
what they do with it. Probably nothing because
that's who the White Sox are. But, you know,
fingers crossed because those are some young,
talented players. Yeah, they got some talent
in the farm system, but that big league product
is horrible. I mean, props to Kenji for trying
to make him sound at least half exciting. Spoiler
alert, ladies and gentlemen, the White Sox suck.
Yeah. The game we're going to play, the first
one, is White Sox game or blank. Kenji and I
are going to alternate going back and forth,
naming off things that we would rather do than
go to a White Sox game, a guaranteed right field.
Now, a couple of caveats. Before that. Go ahead.
Just add on to the sadness of being a White Sox.
I sent you that thing. There's six White Sox
pitchers who have gone Tommy John surgery. Actually?
Yeah. I don't know if that's true. I saw it on
Instagram and I sent it to you. They've had six
already? I don't even know. The White Sox have
had six pitchers need Tommy Zahn surgeries since
the start of spring training. Six Tommy Zahn
surgeries in a month. That's unbelievable. Yeah.
And a real shame. How is that possible? I wish
I could tell you. I think the high prospect pitcher
that the White Sox supposedly have, whatever
his name is. Thorpe. Yeah, he got Tommy John.
I did see that. I did see Thorpe got it. May
he rest up. He was a really big prospect for
the Padres. Who was C. Swift before the Padres?
White Sox, right? Yeah. I guess you're right.
Yeah, I guess you're right. All right, whatever.
So we're going to play White Sox game or blank.
A couple of caveats. It doesn't really matter
what time of year it is because I think the White
Sox are going to be miserable no matter what.
Just picture, like, the worst of scenarios. So
it's, like, raining in April, and they're playing
the Marlins, or it's, like, the dog days of,
like, a Sunday day game. It's, like, 95 degrees
and humid in Chicago, and they're playing the
– who's a bad team, Kenji? Marlins? Well, I just
said the Marlins. Aside from the Marlins. The
Rockies? The Rockies are at the White Sox. What
would you rather do, Kenji? I'm going to tip
it off with you. What would you rather do than
go to a White Sox game? First thing, this is
more of a – it makes sense amongst our friends.
I'd rather make a trade with Brady in fantasy
football than watch a White Sox game. Let's see
if the guys give you context. Brady likes to
send us some outlandish trade offers. He does.
During the season. And they're hilarious, and
I miss them. But I'd rather sit down with him
and try and understand how the offers he's making
me is fair and not me getting bent over. Backwards.
Yeah. That is the first thing I thought of. On
a more serious note. That's an honest response,
though. I mean, like, I hope, Brady, I love you
if you listen. Thanks for listening. I doubt
you do. That's a really funny thing. That's the
first thing that came to your mind is I would
rather, you know. It's because of today. It's
because he sent me an offer today for Vlad Jr.
And I told him I want to take a hike. Yeah. Okay.
So, first one that came to mind for me is buy
a WNBA ticket. I'd rather go to a WNBA game than
go to a White Sox game. To a non -Kaitlyn Clark
game. Kaitlyn Clark or Angel Reese. I would go
to watch either of those two before I went and
watched a White Sox game. Have you tried the
Angel Reese burger at McDonald's? No, I haven't.
I don't know why she got a meal. It's actually
pretty good. You would have had the meal. You
tried it? Yeah, I tried it. Oh, my. It's pretty
good. I love McDonald's. All right. The second
one I have is I'd rather go to a Bees game. For
anybody who doesn't know, me and Gabe live in
Utah, which means we have the Salt Lake Bees,
who are the AAA team. We're the Angels, yep.
We're the Angels. So that already says enough
because, wow, do they not have any prospects.
The Angels' farm system is horrible. It's so
bad, mainly because they traded it all the way
a couple years ago. And if you remotely show
that you can play, they just call you up immediately.
Yeah, like Nolan Shanuel. I mean, that guy got
drafted, and like three weeks later, he was playing.
He was that guy Robert Johnson today. He literally
has not pitched in a minor league game, but he's
going to pitch for the big league club. That's
crazy, dude. Whatever, whatever. But yeah, I'd
rather watch them. That's horrible baseball.
No offense to Bees players. It's just really
hard to watch minor league baseball. I agree
with Kenji. I think I took this in a different
direction because yours are kind of nice. A Bees
game is still enjoyable with the right crowd.
Everything I wrote down is not fun. Someone's
here. I would rather blindfolded bungee jump
rather than go to White Sox game. I hate heights.
My wife can attest. I hate heights. I would rather
blindfolded bungee jump than watch White Sox
Marlins in July. I would rather do that. That's
something. It's not even for the enjoyment of
seeing what's around me. I would blindfolded
do it because I just would rather do it that
way. Yeah. I would rather get a full body wax
and watch Marlon's White Sox game. And I mean
that. Full Brazilian? Full Brazilian. The only
way I'd ever watch a White Sox game is if I knew
Luis Robert was hitting, because he's on my fantasy
team, and I would turn it off immediately. That
was the only way I would ever watch a White Sox
game. I think that is a caveat, is that if they're
playing our team, we're more likely to watch.
That's a good point. Those White Sox, I'm probably
watching. Do I hate myself? Yeah, but I'm watching.
You're going to love the spanking they're going
to put on them? Yeah. If they lose to them, are
you going to want to kill yourself? Absolutely.
Yeah. I mean, when you play them, it's like,
are you kidding me? We're about to lose. Yeah.
This one, again, I took this to another level
than you did, I think. I said run a half marathon
and flip -flops. Oh, that is horrible. That is
atrociously bad. Just broken ankles, busted toes.
David Goggins. Goggins wouldn't even do that.
Goggins will do some crazy stuff just for the
sake of it. He wouldn't do that. That's pretty
psychotic. Yeah. The White Sox are just bad baseball.
They are. Okay, I got one more. Yeah. It's read
the terms and conditions. on MLB .com. Are you
serious? I would rather read a higher thing than
watch a White Sox game. Hold on. Where do I find
this? Terms and conditions. No way. Terms of
use agreement. Oh. Holy cow. Tell me how terrible
it is. It is. It was just updated on March 11th.
I don't know how many words this is. Man, imagine
having that job at MLB .com. So what do you do
at MLB? Oh, I'm the terms and conditions guy.
Yeah, I do all the legal. This is pretty bad.
You know, this is really bad. Yeah? Yeah, this
is tough. Well, here, I'm just scrolling at a
normal pace. I'll tell you when I start, and
I'll tell you when I stop. Okay, I'm at the top
of the page. Start. Okay, I'm done. That was
full scrolls. I didn't read a single word. That
was like, as soon as I moved the mouse up all
the way, I went back down and kept going. That
whole thing. I wish I could word count it, but
it's really bad. I mean, honestly, if there's
any kind of plug, go look it up. Termsandconditionsmlb
.com. Terms of use agreement. It's horrible.
The last thing I would rather do than go to a
White Sox game is take the SAT. Yeah, that is
pretty terrible. No studying. I wouldn't get
that serious into it, but I would rather take
the SAT. At least I already took one of them
and I got into college and I'm done with my undergrad.
Hopefully you never have to do it again. Hopefully
not. What a miserable experience that was. Do
you have any more? I don't, but I have some of
that chat GPT. Please, fire away, AI. Okay. Let's
see. Chat GPT said it would rather watch paint
dry in real time on all 30 ballpark outfield
walls than watch a White Sox game. That's tough.
Teach a squirrel how to do long division. Sit
through nine innings of rain delay. Count the
number of fans actually in the stands at a Guardians,
a guarantee rate field. Oh, yeah. That's their
stadium, the White Sox stadium. Oh. That's tough.
Try to explain the White Sox front office's decisions
to a toddler. That's tough, man. This is brutal.
Let's see. Go on a juice cleanse at a tailgate.
That's whatever. Cheer for the Cubs. Just kidding
unless you're really fed up. Okay, it's not that
funny as you go down. I don't know. This one
is rewatch the 2005 World Series highlights,
but only from the Astros' perspective. I think
it's because they got swept 4 -0 by the White
Sox. Okay. All right. That's pretty good, AI.
I'm pretty pleased with that, AI. Yeah, the paint
one was pretty funny. Yeah, that's good. An all
-30 ball fart. The paint one is funny. Yeah,
well done. In that scenario, do you think you
have to watch it sitting in the outfield or sitting
in the stands behind home plate watching the
paint dry? I think you're right in front of it
watching it dry. For all 30 teams? For all 30
teams. I think the entire thing, yeah. So that's
pretty horrible. That's really tough. Yeah. I
ain't doing that. That's really tough. That's
tough. this terms of use agreement's crazy man
i got it pulled up right here yeah i just pulled
up too i mean it's not as long as i thought maybe
but it's pretty long i don't want to i can't
say i definitely want to read that yeah i don't
ever understand it just a bunch of legal jargon
yeah i hate that this is a part of the world
yeah okay what we got next game number two not
really a game but a talking point number two
insanely bold predictions Okay. Insanely bold
predictions. Okay. We used to have the sizzle
button. If you remember your OG listener, we
don't have a sizzle button anymore, but these
are insanely bold predictions that we wanted
to go into. And listen, insanely bold is relative.
I asked Kenji before we recorded. I haven't heard
his. So fair warning. Kenji could say something
really stupid and I can't defend him because
I haven't heard them. It's not my fault. He just
has bad takes. I do sometimes. But. These are
supposed to be bold predictions that if you were
to go on like an odds maker or go to a bookie
and try to place a bet on them, the odds would
be pretty long that all of these things would
happen in my mind. So that's how I feel. That's
kind of where I stand. Do you have any other
takes? No, that's it. Okay. Okay. How many do
you have? Should I start? I have five. I have
like six. Oh, you have six. Okay, you go first,
then. I have the Phillies sell at the deadline.
Oh, you're just hating on Brady today. Well,
I thought about it because they have a lot of
old players. They do. And probably next year,
they're probably not going to be able to afford
everyone. And if they are, like, fourth in division
just because everyone sucks, I think if you're
that far down, you might sell, like, a Castellanos,
maybe. Get rid of JT Romuto while you can still
get some value out of him. Maybe Craig Turner.
Just a couple of these pieces could potentially
be sold if they are really bad, but most likely
not. Okay, so then how many games under 500 are
they to make themselves the deadline? I mean,
how many games do you usually play by all -star
break? A little over half, so like 90 games.
Okay, I would say they'd have to be like 35 and
like 65. 30 games under? Yeah, like pretty bad.
That's like White Sox bad. Yeah, like just like
an all -time worst start. Like maybe Wheeler
gets hurt. Nola is just not the same. Christopher
Sanchez sucks. Ranger Suarez is exposed. Damn,
what did the Phillies do to you, bro? I mean,
they're bullpens and shambles. What did the Phillies
do to you? I don't know. I mean, it's just. It's
just a bold take. Brady's really never going
to listen to us. He's never going to talk to
me ever again. Okay, so I'm going to switch the
tone here because Kenji's clearly hating. All
of my bold predictions are like, if you're a
fan of these teams or these players, I think
you'd be happy. There's no like, this guy's going
to suck prediction. My first one, the Reds are
going to win a playoff game. Okay. They're going
to win a playoff game. I don't know if it's on
the road. I don't know if they're hosting, but
the Cincinnati Reds are going to win a playoff
game. I'm not going to say a series, but they're
going to win a playoff game. They get Hunter
Green healthy in the playoffs. Elidio Cruz does
his thing. I like the Reds to win a playoff game.
I don't have the odds on it. They're going to
do more in the playoffs than your Baltimore Orioles.
Okay, do it. All right, pal. The minute you opened
your stupid mouth, I could tell where you were
going with that. That was not funny. That's not
funny. Not funny. Okay, okay. I got Cody Bellinger
winning an MVP. Hanging behind Aaron Judge, having
a good spring. Wow. Having a ballpark that benefits
him. I think he's a good chance of winning a
gold glove in center field because he's really
good. And, I mean, if he has a really good offensive
season, I think it's possible. You're insufferable.
Do you know that? Yeah. I know. You'd be so miserable
watching that, wouldn't you? Dude, Cody Bellinger
winning an MVP with a resurgence with the Yankees
would break my soul. Considering I said in the
offseason that the O's should pick up Cody Bellinger.
A lot of teams could have benefited from Cody
Bellinger. Indeed, they could have. So he gets
a short porch, whatever. That's a bold prediction.
That's good. I'm a Yankee hater. I'm a Yankee
hater. So I got to put that aside. Okay. What
you got next? For my Tigers fans out there, Riley
Green is going to get MVP votes. Ooh, okay. I
like that. Riley Green is going to get some MVP
votes. I like that. I like him to have a good
season. Comerica is a chasm, so it is tough to
hit in Comerica compared to some other parks.
But Bobby Wood Jr. also hits in kind of a chasm.
Kaufman Field's a bit bigger of a ballpark. Of
course, Aaron Judge hits in a baby park. But
I like Riley Green to get MVP votes. I think
he's fine defensively, but I like his swing.
I think from the left side, he's got a big -time
bat. The Tigers are going to contend more than
they did last year, which is saying something.
I like Riley Green to get some MVP votes. And
I have him in fantasy, so it would only benefit
me if he did so. Good point. What do you think?
I said the Red Sox missed the playoffs. Wow.
You've been Red Sox dick riding all offseason,
so that's a bold prediction indeed. This is a
really bold prediction. Kind of like the Broncos
when Russell Wilson came with the Jets with Aaron
Rodgers last year. You think you have this superstar
team, and it just doesn't click. That's what
I'm hoping it does not happen, but I think it's
potentially possible. Somehow. I think it's a
real possibility, honestly. If they don't click.
Yeah, I think there's good teams in the AL. Yeah,
there's a lot of good teams. I could see it happening.
Last year, what was it? The Diamondbacks missed
out on the playoffs with 89 wins. I could see
a world where the Red Sox win 86 -87 games and
miss it by a game or two. I could see it. I think
so, too. I could see it. On the same vein of
MVP votes, I'm going to switch to the Angels.
Not Mike Trout. Not Jorge Soler. Zach Netto is
going to get a couple MVP votes. Zach Netto.
That is the craziest one so far. Yeah, it's pretty
crazy. Listen, I'm going to shout out my guy,
Tom. I was texting Tom yesterday. Tom's a member
of our Fantasy League. Good friend. Tom was giving
me his bold predictions for who's going to be
the next Bobby Witt that out of nowhere steps
up and becomes like, Perennial superstar. And
Zach Netto last year had a really quiet, really
sneaky. Was it 2020 season or 30 -30? 2020. That's
my boy. Really sneaky 2020 season. He plays on
a not -so -great team. I think Netto, I mean,
he goes 25 -25. He goes 30 -30 even. Continues
to play excellent defense. He could get some
votes. It's a crazy hot take. It's a really,
really bold take. I'd like to see it, man. I
got a lot of Angels fans. Back off on Zach Netto,
man. That's my guy. I don't want you looking
into him. Stay away from him. Okay. I got a lot
of Angel fan friends. I know they would love
to see somebody other than Trout in his old age
get MVP votes. So go on Zach Netto. Give me one
or two MVP votes. Last one. All right. My next
one is Parasite. Uh -oh. Kenji's sneezing. My
next one is that the Rockies will be a top 20
team this year. We'll end with a top 20 record
this year. I got some magic beans I want to sell
you, dude. What the heck is that? What's the
beans that Jim sells to Dwight? Somebody's Miracle
Lagoons. Miracle Lagoons, yep. Oh, so funny.
Yeah, the Rockies being a top 20 team. Top 20
is crazy. Yeah. Why? Yep. Why? Just a bold prediction,
man. Michael Tolia and – Can we drug test you?
Was it Royce Freeman? You have to pass a drug
test to be on the show. Doyle and Tyro Estrada.
Wow. They traded Nolan Jones. Ryan McMahon. I
mean, they got some dogs. They got some hitters.
Name two guys in that pitching staff. I couldn't.
And they're the same pitchers for the last five
years. And I couldn't tell you. I can tell you
Kyle Freeland. Yeah, that guy. He's not that
good. Why does he keep staying there? Jermon
Marquez. Justin Lawrence. There you go. That's
all. Oh, my God. I think I might be tapped out
there too. Ty Block, lefty. I don't know, whatever.
Okay, that's a really bold one. I think some
people might have just turned us off because
if they didn't think we didn't know ball already,
they might have just done it then. Yeah, that
was pretty crazy of me to say. I have Elie De
La Cruz being perfect on steal attempts. Wow.
What was he last year? I don't know, but I have
him not getting thrown out a single time this
year. That's impressive. I'm going to look up
his rate last year while I explain. I think he's
one of the most prolific base stealers we've
ever seen. His strides. Sorry? His strides are
just crazy. Yes. A gazelle. Yep. He was caught
stealing 16 times last year. Out of, like, what,
70 -something? 83. 83 attempts. 83? Oh. Stole
83 bases? He stole 67 bases, cost stealing 16
times. So he essentially attempted stealing 83
times. If my math is right, yeah. That's a lot
of attempted stolen bags. I think he's only going
to get better this year. Cover of MLB The Show.
Plays good defense. Switch hitter. I like him
a lot. Perfect on steals for Elliott De La Cruz.
That's a fun one. I think so. I like the Reds
this year, if you can't tell. Two of mine have
been about the Reds. My last one is that a team
besides the Dodgers will lead the league in wins.
Wow. Yeah. Who could that be? Philly, probably.
The same team you had selling at the deadline?
If any team could really do it, I think it's
Philly. I'm stuttering. If Philly could just
get off to a normal start, especially the last
couple of years, the way they turn it up in the
second half, they could do it. I think the Diamondbacks
could as well with the great pitching staff now.
Diamondbacks could do it. Leading spring training
with RBIs. Shout out. If the Braves get up to
a good start, I could see the Braves doing it.
If the Braves have a great rotation, if Acuna
comes back. Half the player he, no, like 80 %
of the player he was in his MVP year with Profar
in that lineup. And Sean Murphy comes back healthy
from his injury. If Orlando Arcia isn't the worst
hitter in baseball, statistically, you have a
really good chance. Yeah, I don't hate that.
That's not a crazy take. I mean, I still think
the Dodgers are going to lead the league in wins.
Yeah, I think they'll win by like 10 wins. Yeah,
I agree. My last one, and again, I guess there's
kind of a theme with Tom. This was not intentional,
though. He was talking about Zach Netto. He was
not talking about this one. The A's are going
to host playoff games in Sacramento. Whoa. Whoa.
What? What would have to happen? They have to
be the top wildcard team, I think. Top wildcard
team or worst division winner of the other two.
Or a better division winner. They could do it
in a later round. I just don't think they will.
A's are going to host playoff games in Sacramento
because they're going to be the fourth wildcard
team. They're going to be the top wildcard. That
would be fun. Brent Rooker, Lawrence Butler in
October at that park. Ball flying. Luis Severino.
Jeffrey Springs. Mason Miller. Shea Bangleers.
I mean, Offensively. Crazier things have happened.
Crazier things have happened. That's all I'm
going to say. JP Sears from the left side. That
guy is such a weird little pitcher. He's just
a tiny little guy. He's like a leprechaun. He's
just a small little guy, but gets the job done.
He does. He shut down my O's a couple times last
year. Those are my bold predictions. Do you have
any others off the top of your head, Kenji? None
that I wrote down, but I'm sure I could come
up with something. quite blasphemous you're pretty
good about coming up with stupid things yeah
i'm i'm thank you that's a that's a really nice
thing for you sorry sorry sorry really really
kind i uh i think uh you know i don't know i
think i might have used up all my dumb brain
cells maybe let me just look at my fantasy team
real quick and uh yes yes fantasy team crazy
blasphemous things i'm This isn't really blasphemous,
but Jackson Joe is going to win AL Rookie of
the Year. I heard people say he's better than
Sasaki. I like him a lot, man. He got five punches
tonight in his last tune -up. Dog. I don't know.
I don't think I have anything. Okay. Okay. Well,
I mean, that's our show, everybody. That's our
show. We wanted to keep it brief, but also do
two different games with opening day kicking
off momentarily for those of you that are listening
on Thursday morning. Cardinals make the playoffs.
Oh, boy. Yeah, okay. Now we got to drug test
you. That's it. We got to shut the show down.
Arnaud, Arnaud, our comeback season. It has been.
It has been a long and difficult winter for a
lot of reasons for a lot of people. And let me
tell you, when baseball comes back, everything
just is a little bit better. The sun is shining.
The sun's out a little bit later in the day.
It's warm. People are outside. Baseball is alive
in the streets. Enjoy opening day, everybody.
You've all earned it. If you watch the show,
if you're a diehard fan of baseball like Kenji
and I, we're going to enjoy it. We hope you do
too. Kenji, what does opening day mean to you?
And send these people away. Well, this is the
first year where opening year is going to really
mean something special because I'm going in person,
and I've never been invested in baseball this
much. In real baseball, not fantasy baseball.
I'm more invested in real baseball this year.
And so I'm pumped. I don't even know how early
to go to the game. I might just show up eight
hours early. As early as you can. They'll open
the gates like two or three hours. Can we just
go tomorrow night and just wait overnight? What
do we do? Yeah. You'll want to get there well
beforehand. I'll tell you that if you're going
to get there. Well, you want to be in your seat
like 30 minutes before first pitch because they'll
do a lot of pregame stuff. They'll introduce
all the teams and like read out everybody as
they like read out all the players as they get
announced like the all -star game in the World
Series. I'm going to watch them warm up and stuff,
you know? Yeah, you should do that. Get there
early enough so you can get food, too. Like,
if you're hungry, if it's around game time, you
want some food, get there an hour early, plan
some time to get there. You want to go to the
store, you're going to visit the store, maybe
buy something, shirt, hat, hoodie. I'm going
to spend so much money. It's going to be bad.
I heard the brisket nachos is really good, but
it's really expensive. Okay. Who freaking cares,
bro? Who freaking cares? Who freaking cares?
It's going to be a special weekend. Yeah, it's
true. It's going to be. It's quite the weekend.
We're so excited for baseball to be back. Thank
you all for listening to the show. We're going
to keep coming with content. Oh, go ahead. Should
you and I record Wednesday night after the game
somehow? Thursday night. After the games? I'm
in. Thursday night, yeah. Just try and slip it
in there. Just be like, on the first day, both
games, just give a live reaction. Just the tip.
Yeah, we'll slip it in there. Yep, just the tip.
It's a family -friendly show. I'm sorry. We will.
We'll come at you Thursday night. I'm bringing
my microphone on the road. I'm going to 11 games
in 11 days. Kenji is going to opening day with
his boo thing. It's going to be a blast. Baseball
is back, everybody. Enjoy the games. Have an
amazing weekend. We'll catch you on opening night
with a recap. Thank you. We'll be right back.