I'm Voice Sizer.
My name is Rulik.
I'm Rowan.
I'm Andor.
Hi, I'm Dress Stix.
And together, they're the Tally Ho Ho's.
My goal is to find a family and keep it.
I'm an Arikocra of Barb Warlock, and I'm looking to extend my life.
I'm an Asimar Paladin, and I'm looking to make up for past mistakes and prevent the end of the world.
I'm an Asimar fighter, and my goal is to find my wife and to take this world-binding change from my life.
I'm a high-elf cleric, and my goal is to find out who burnt down my brother.
Well, I took a long rest.
I mean, I technically wasn't resting during it, but...
Yes, we all took a long rest. We had a wonderful night in the tavern here in the Dwarven and Human City of Gyr.
In Malcom Valley.
Now, you guys wake up here in the tavern. You've had a wonderful, restful night.
But one of you has been off doing some things in the night here.
Andor did not have a restful night.
Does Andor get a point of exhaustion?
No.
He just sleeps on his own time.
Oh, okay. So I dragged him along with me to go to my room.
So the two of you, what have you been up to the night here?
So, obviously, we slept in the same room.
We probably slept on the floor.
We probably slept... I meditate so I don't lose sleep.
Fair. I guess I should have taken a nap there.
So, I got up, and I left the room, and I went downstairs and talked to the barkeep.
It was like, hey, have you by any chance seen a bird and a tiefling man around here somewhere?
And I was like, do you think that they get rooms here or not?
He was like, no, I don't think so.
I was like, okay, do you know where they went?
And they were like, well, one of them was called the Goblin King and got taken out somewhere.
Wasn't it Goblin Wick or something?
I don't remember. It was Goblin something.
I know Goblin Wick. I still understand.
And he got carried out, and the tiefling man kind of just wandered off and left.
And I was like, oh, well, I think I know where he went.
By this time, you came down.
And we're like, the fuck are you doing?
I'm walking a little rugged, ye.
And he was like, hey, come with me.
And I took him with me.
But we stopped at Stables, because I'm pretty sure he found you there last time.
I think this is not the first time you've woken up in Stables.
And it won't be the last.
Right, it won't be the last.
Now, was it as a horse or no?
I think I tried to transform into a horse, fell sideways, couldn't get back up.
And I just fell asleep like that.
Understandable. So I brought him along, and he drug you back, because he's got significantly more drag than I do.
Ew, ew, ew, ow, ow, fucks, ow, stop dragging me.
This is manhandling you.
And then it took us a little while to go find her for the ruling.
Cobblestone burn, cobblestone burn.
But we ended up finding him in the barracks.
And then we had to give him 20 gold to get him free.
Needless to say, no one was very happy about that situation.
But all finalists are back in the tavern.
Which one of us will lose 20 gold?
Well, he'll hit 16.
So you would have to, like, I don't know if it's any better.
You're losing all your gold.
I'm paying the 16 gold.
All right, I'll use four.
And then you get an IOU.
No, no, I'll just do the rest. We'll do four.
No, I'm saying I'll ping back.
Oh, okay. What do you think an IOU is?
Well, I thought he said an IOU to the person that he was paying the money to.
No, not only are they going to let me go on that.
Probably not.
Usually guards aren't like, oh, yeah, you got to pay bail.
Oh, you're a little short.
I guess it'll just be an IOU.
I seem like such a nice guy.
You're going to be defeating my family tonight?
I'm not corrupt or bully-ish.
And then we took the rest of them back to the tavern.
We haven't tried to bribe people. Good on us.
We shoved them all into one room because the two of us are fine.
So I'm assuming you and I just spent the rest of the time down in the tavern kind of like talking to people.
And we shoved them in the bed and let them sleep now.
Talk to people on the wall.
A wall we need.
You have woken up here with quite the hangover.
Spots are just flashing in front of your eyes.
You think Vice is right next to you.
Like his face is right there, like inches away from you in the same bed.
You can smell his breath on your face.
Oh, that's quite a very nice idea.
LOL. Did I crawl into bed with you or did you crawl in with me?
The two other ones put us to bed.
The other ones. That's what we did.
LOL. Did they put us to bed together or did they put us to bed separate?
And then we went together.
This isn't some dishonored like I-I-II unconscious bodies in a bed of this thing.
I'm assuming something happened.
We had a nice restful night.
Holy shit, I'm hungover.
Yeah, me too.
I fucking just hit.
Ugh.
Do I remember anything?
You do not remember anything about last night other than that you had a drinking contest.
Cool.
Nor does anybody else.
Oh! Peechie. Super cool.
Do we?
Okay with that.
The ones who went to get him remember?
Wait.
Nobody other than the rest of your party remembers that sort of raucous, sauronchy night you guys had where you were just absolutely shit-faced drunk.
Cool. Cool.
Is it better to remember or not to remember, Rulik?
I don't remember drinking a whole lot. Is this what getting older is like?
I ain't the year man. This is scary.
This is freaking me out.
Hold on, hold on. If your back hurts when you get out of the bed, you should start applying for senior discounts.
I'm gonna attempt to get up. How does my back feel?
You stand up and then you just go pop pop pop pop of your vertebra as they align. Your feathers just sort of are all like matted against your back.
Life is not fair.
I think sunken sonus is gonna give you a senior citizen discount.
Daniel lives longer than me and I'm dealing with back pain. I'm 21. He lives till 50. What the fuck is this bullshit?
Someone had me born a bird. I don't know what to tell you.
I didn't want to be born a bird.
You chose it.
I didn't ask.
Oh well what a shame.
What do you want me to do about it?
Fuck you, you mommy-less daddy-less bitch.
Am I just listening to the phone call downstairs and be like a cup of tea?
Has anyone looked in the mirror recently?
He really went there.
Oh so you can say it to me if I can't say it to you?
You don't know your parents, man.
I do know my parents.
You do?
Ish.
Ish?
My dad's around. He fucked a path out.
Are you right, your dad?
No.
There's a statue of him in my thank you card.
Well this got confusing.
According to my internal monologue, I haven't.
Real fast.
According to my internal monologue.
Alright, you know what? It wasn't cool of me to bring that up. I'm sorry.
Can we hug it out?
Yeah, yeah. Let's hug it out.
For all our audio listeners, which will be everybody, they are currently actually hugging.
We're still hugging.
Are you ready to hug it?
While this is going on, the three of you downstairs in the main sort of common room of the tavern here.
I'm glowing.
You had a fantastic night.
I'm starting in your breakfast.
The exact opposite of glowing right now.
Do you have a I just fucked outfit or no?
No.
No wampus shave?
No.
I'm just wrapped in a robe.
Oh, okay.
I don't know.
It's silk.
Classy.
Do you guys want to come on down?
Yeah, I'll struggle downstairs.
You know what? I have my hygiene kit still. I'll clean myself up a bit when I come downstairs.
Yeah, I invested in that.
That's awesome.
Since we just did a long rest, I would like to inscribe a rune. I'm sitting there at the, I'm sure the bartender lost his weapon.
You're sitting there just tool your weapons on the table.
I'm just carving my stone rune into my mace.
Cool.
You've got your breakfast in front of you.
You've got your drink and you've got your stone out. You're just carving away.
And the bartender, the short little dwarf with a iron cap, is staring at you from across the bar.
He has not blinked and he's not going to blink from across the bar.
He's just staring at this audacity of this bitch who is just, there's stone dust across the bar where you're just chipping away.
I'm going to chip away and then I'm going to look at him.
He's going to blink? Are you glaring at him?
No, no, no. I'll actually just kind of stare. Like, you know, blank black circles under my eyes.
No thoughts behind the eyes. Just staring back at him.
He's going to look at what you're doing. He's going to look back at you. He's going to look back at you.
And he's just going to shake his head. He's going to grumble into his beard. He's going to turn away.
And I'm going to nod. I'm going to continue what I'm doing.
And I'm just going to sit next to him and be like, this is why I don't take you places.
I'm not much better, but this is why I don't take you places.
As you guys come on down the steps to the common room and you see your friends sitting there eating their breakfast and enjoying themselves,
you can hear from outside the hiss and patter of rain.
There is a storm outside. Despite it being morning, it's very dark. It's very gray outside.
And the rain is pattering, pattering, pattering against those windows, which are sort of vibrating a bit with the howling breeze.
I'm going to take off my sunglasses, though, because I was worried about it being bright.
I'm still going to keep my cloak hood up because I'm still like, I'd like to go up to the counter, just like flag down the bartender.
I need three things if you can. Black coffee, Shana Tabasco sauce, bagel.
Bagel.
All right. I can do the first one. I've got black coffee. I don't know what Tabasco is.
You've got spicy sauce.
Spicy sauce. I got you some hot pepper gin.
I'll do. I need a kick.
Okay. Coffee. You want the hot pepper gin in the coffee?
No, separate.
Separate. Separate glasses. Okay. So hot pepper gin, cup of coffee, you can do what you want.
Okay. Oh, how much is that going to cost?
Five silver.
The big one.
Is he right next to us?
Yes. He is sort of waddling.
I'm going to slap a gold coin onto the table.
You just see two silver fly across you at the room. Oh, thank you. No, I got it. I got it.
I will put over five silver. Now I am clear to cash.
Thank you, Cointely. He is going to scoop those coins and they're going to disappear into his pocket.
Thanks, buddy.
And he is going to busy himself behind the counter here.
Sir, when I can trouble you, can I please just get some hot peppers just raw?
Sure. I can get you a couple of green peppers.
Beautiful.
Whoa.
Sorry, that wasn't meant for you. Oh, man. It's going to be a long day.
It's already a long day.
After a couple of minutes, our bartender, he goes back over. He sets in front of you your black coffee.
One black coffee.
Your drink and your bagel. And he then brings over to you a small plate of diced green peppers.
Here you go.
That should be everything. That's going to be three silver for the peppers.
Inflation, you know.
I sniff the peppers like a small exhaled.
Like each individual slice up your nose?
Yeah, as close to my nose as I can get without sucking it in.
To wake me up and then I'll eat them.
Staring at a man from across the bar for doing something that you're very clearly not supposed to do at a bar is a little weird.
You guys are sitting there. You're enjoying your breakfast. The rain is pouring down.
You have your peppers. You have your drink and your bagel. You guys have your eggs benedict with your bacon.
How much money is that going to cost?
It's been provided to you by the Mayor Thundergust. It's on the house.
What the fuck?
Suck it.
I'm trying.
He had come in earlier at about 8 a.m. to sort of check on you guys, see how you were doing.
Yeah, I went down here and was in my toilet.
And he was told you guys were still sleeping.
For a long time.
Yeah, and I'd like to say that while we got you guys, we kind of just didn't go back upstairs.
We were kind of just sitting around here and outside of the bar since we went to go grab you guys.
Have you guys decided anything?
Oh, yeah.
Well, he did.
What happened?
Wait, wait, wait. I do the shot first.
Do we want to know what happened?
Do you want to know what happened?
He can give you general ideas of what happened.
I dragged you back from where you came from.
Did anything bad happen?
I don't know.
That's a bad thing. You need to tell me that.
We were found in the bar.
Stop biting your tongue, you little shremling.
I'm going to shove the coffee.
What happened?
What the fuck happened?
I don't know. I just found out that you were in the bar.
You're pretty sure you know that you weren't missing gold.
Oh. Yeah, the pear strings are a bit empty.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
We had to pay money to get them.
We had to pay bail.
We had to pay gold for bail.
I turned 21, and I'm passing out and having to pay.
I've never had to do that before.
I usually can hold it in.
We're going to pay bail.
What the fuck?
I'm having an existential crisis.
This is not good.
I'm going to just shove the bagel in my goddamn mouth.
And vice we found you at the stables.
My beak, rather.
Like, half turned into a horse.
Which half?
Wanda was going to look absolutely terrified.
You're a mer-horse.
Half man, half horse before.
I missed all of it.
I had to drag a man by his hooves back home.
So you still had hooves either way.
By his hand hooves.
One has hooves regardless.
By his hand hooves.
But a centaur is not as weird as a mantaur.
He had four hooves of mantaur.
But he's not a mantaur.
He still had four hooves.
I missed all of it.
Never mind.
I missed out what you did.
Oh my god.
I've seen you dragging back half a horse.
I weigh.
Was it nice?
I weigh a bit.
Oh no.
Oh I know.
Or was it just there?
He was kind of just there.
Oh my god.
He didn't really appreciate that I topped.
We don't stand.
You've got to get one that appreciates you topped.
I know.
I'm on the side kind of guy.
It's fine.
You've got to find someone who services.
I'm just going to go back to eating my food and not go into that conversation.
I have a wife so I'm kind of over here with you.
Speaking of, I had a nightmare about her last night.
Are you okay?
But I'm not going to say anything about it.
Oh wait, wait, wait.
We should let him go.
Never mind.
But I want to at least give that to the party that nightmares are happening.
How long is your bad tongue?
I can.
Is that why you didn't sleep well?
Not right now.
Can you tie a cherry into a knot?
Oh fuck yeah.
I can do multiple knots.
Oh.
Tie a knot, tie it into a bow, throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier.
So what we're hearing is Rulik's a whore.
We knew this.
I didn't know this.
Oh yes, I'm sorry.
You two know that.
I didn't know this.
Rulik is a whore.
Oh yeah.
When Mayor Thundergust came in to check on us, did he say anything?
Just that a massive storm had sort of rolled in over the night from Malkoon Valley.
That it's very dangerous right now outside with the heavy rains, the wind, the thunder,
the lightning.
The thunder ghost.
And that he was going to head back to his estate for a little bit to sort of just relax
after one hell of a night.
He's got a wicked hangover.
Even for a dwarf, he looked like he was sweating cobs.
But yeah.
Oh yeah, I beat his ass in the head.
The hell they put in those drinks, anthrax.
The annulus batteries.
I was just about to say that.
That's nothing like what I just said.
I was just about to say that too.
Oh boy.
All right, so then what is, what are we supposed to do?
Peek outside.
There's no mind flayers outside, right?
I'm going to peek my head outside.
There is a crack-coo and a flash of light as the lightning splits across the sky.
And you see way out in the distance, walking over the hills towards...
You're into trees though.
You are into trees.
You want to cosplay?
I want to cosplay.
Towards Malcoon Valley, you see a figure in a wide brimmed, almost like a straw hat
and a cloak made of yellowing reeds that has moss growing over the shoulders.
And you sort of blink and kind of wipe your eyes as you look out of the window at this figure
because you notice something rather strange about them.
Where they're walking, the storm doesn't seem to blow this figure's cloak,
nor does it look like they're particularly wet.
And as you watch, they pass by a row of shrubs which bend and move out of the way of this figure.
And they continue through.
How close am I to my peers?
You're at the bar with them.
Yes.
Can I see the thing?
You took the blind person.
Oh, fuck you.
Is it farther than 30 feet?
So...
Is it farther than 30 feet?
Dress sticks, you are staring at the window, and that's it with your 30 feet of vision.
So you grab me and you're like, you grab me and pull me and point, and I'm like...
Have I said something?
You have dress sticks waiting for that shit to render.
It's like, uh...
It's like, well, if you see something, I can't see it, so...
You have the break of tears!
I think he forgot that I...
I'm like...
Oh, no, I did!
Well, you're also like, my bestie at this point is done, so...
Besides Rowan, so...
I guess I'm gonna grab Rowan instead.
And be like, fuck, you're not used to...
Do you see that?
Do I see it in the lookout?
I can't see, so...
The rest of you guys looking out, you see the same figure slowly making their way across the house.
When you see what is it, what is out there?
That's not...
I can see a window.
I'm gonna just repeat what he said.
I'm almost kind of relative around here.
What is that?
But no, that's a little...
That's a little weird.
Should we go see what's going on?
Hey, friend!
I don't think they're close enough to hear you.
Oh, shit.
They're like miles over the hills.
Hey, friend!
They're farther than 30 feet, because I can't see them.
I stick my head out the door and say, hi, friend.
So you open up the door, and immediately it gets smashed open in your hands as a breeze blows in that wind.
Howling in front of you in range drenches your whole face.
Your voice is a lost voice.
I'm gonna peek out next to you.
Is that how to go?
It's a little wet.
I'm getting drenched too.
That door is just slap, slap, slapping against the wall.
I need a athletics chair for my hand.
That ain't gonna happen.
Are you going to get brushed away by the wind?
By the way, at Dress Stix, what's the hair looking like?
Oh, half up, half down.
Take six.
That is a four.
That's a four?
It looks like a single.
Wait, wait.
No, that's a one.
I thought it was a one.
I just didn't want to say it was a one.
I'm right next to him.
Can I grab ahold of his arm?
You can grab ahold of his arm.
You see my shaky ass arm go for the door?
And as he does, another gust of breeze comes up and he goes up into the air with you holding onto his arms.
I'm gonna grab ahold of the door frame.
What the fuck?
Yo, look, it's the people kite.
Stix, you should be able to...
I wish you could see this.
This is awesome.
I'm gonna move closer.
I want to see what's going on.
You can clearly see Vyce suspended in the air.
Let him go.
I'm gonna need athletic strength from you to sort of really get back in.
I'm gonna run to you and I'm gonna tap you and I'm gonna cast guidance on you real quick.
I'm gonna poke it to you and go, good luck.
Please get him back.
It's okay.
I've lived a long enough life.
It's a 15.
With the plus four?
No, I didn't add plus four yet.
Well, the D4.
I wasn't going to do the D4 if I didn't have to.
It's probably gonna be a four that you're gonna roll.
I can't tell you what the...
That is until you...
16?
All right.
So you grab one of Vyce's here and you hand over hand pull the blue boy back inside and
with a thump the door latches shut.
I'm gonna fall on my ass.
Dude.
And my arm's gonna still be on you and be like...
I had it.
Shut the door.
Yeah, mother, shut the door.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I always just turn into a heavy ass frog or something.
Oh yeah, Farah, you can do that.
Please don't do that.
It's never been good.
Oh, what happened?
Oh, so we used to travel with this tall badass.
Her name's Nerea.
Yeah, totally fine.
He almost killed her like twice because he turned into this fucking huge ass toad.
You almost drowned her the one time.
I almost clapped a whole building on us.
Yeah, too.
Did you forget about that one?
I did.
Remind me to stay away from this one.
Yeah, why?
How did you guys survive this long?
You can't get rid of me as hard as you try.
I'm gonna save your ass one day and then you're gonna walk me around.
Okay, so there was a...
Everyone loves that.
Why am I not moving?
There's like...
So what do I do?
I hate him, but I love him.
So yes.
That's very cool.
Mondor.
Nice.
Glancing back out through the window, you can see that the figure has disappeared over
the hills, but that the trail that they seem to have walked on has been left by the grasses
that sort of parted aside to let them through.
So you can kind of clearly see a trail outside.
Vice, how livable do you think this weather is?
Oh, unless you're a two-ton boulder.
Even if you are a two-ton boulder, years of this weather will road you away into a tiny,
tiny pebble.
How do we get to this figure thing?
So I'm surviving the weather.
Very apparently, the wind took and almost lost...
And almost lost...
He's been shrinking, he's got the thing in his...
And almost lost Vice.
Yes.
He said that unless you are a very heavy thing, you're going to be carried away.
Yes.
Unless, per chance...
I'm gonna walk outside.
We've become a two-ton boulder.
Yeah, wait, I'm gonna hold onto his arm as he walks outside.
I fucking, I fucking, I fucking guy.
You open up the door and the wind, the rain, and the lightning crack-oom, and there was
a fog outside, but you are buffeted and kind of pushed, but you are not blown away.
It seems to you opened it up right at the gust occurred.
Okay.
So, so unless...
Alright, it's really particularly windy, we should be okay.
So it left a trail.
We can see it.
Do we have to follow a mysterious thing that comes across our path?
Well, you can see it.
No.
Can we just like...
I'm sure everyone else has...
I cannot see it.
Go back to bed for like...
So I'm just staring at you and I'm like, yep, I'm gonna take your word for it.
I like that idea.
That's the best to share.
Go back to bed.
There's a trail.
You can go back to someone else's bed.
Of where it went.
I mean, if worse comes to worse and they don't want to follow, whatever this thing is, I
can't see it.
So I'm genuinely curious.
Oh, I'm following.
Oh, God, no.
Come on.
I'm gonna...
I can't be following the trail.
You'll have the luxury of seeing what it was.
I didn't even get to see it.
It's not my fault.
Oh, man.
If I gave you water for my water skin, you guys got shit face last night.
It doesn't.
I thought you were gonna say it's not my fault.
I thought you have shit life spans.
I can't help you with that.
Hey!
It's not my fault you're like, oh, man.
Mondor AARP.
You're dead built like a baked bean.
A baked bean.
Mondor and Tix are standing outside and as they are, Rowan comes out to join them.
You instantly get soaked in the water.
Vice and Rola, you guys are sort of hesitating here on the edge of the door as they're talking
to you.
I'm gonna hold my cloak hood.
shield and use it as a umbrella. Oh I have a shield! I can use it as a shield as a cover.
A little wet now. Yeah. Well I'm a little wet but like I keep getting more wet. You raised your
shield above your head. It does a little bit for you but the rain's kind of coming down at
quite the angle from the breeze. I'm just gonna put a weight in whatever. Okay you put your
alchemical scale shield on your back but yes you guys step outside into the pouring rain. It is
muddy out right now. The roads have been kind of almost half flooded here. The conditions I would
say are going to be difficult terrain. A bit of a fog is coming up. You can see it with this crazy
breeze going on right now. It would be very difficult for you to fly around in the air where
you wanted to go. Yeah I don't want to do that. I am going to need a survival check from whoever
is going to try to lead the group along this trail here. Would you say the terrain would be loud
enough that we would have to yell to be heard over it? Yes. I'm fairly decent at surviving. Well I
think he since he saw where they went I think he's the only one trying to lead us. Fair I was just
gonna say it's my room. Oh I thought you were doing that because you were gonna roll a survival check. I was trying to figure out if my room did something fun for that but it doesn't. It might not be the best but I can still roll for it. Do it. I will help you because I'm
decent at tracking. You guys have sort of started along your ways right as you're about to sort of
get down the search you hear a meow and your cat comes baby ears flattened out to you and sort of
hunkers up against your legs. The cat Kieran looks pissed. He didn't have to come with us. Absolutely soaked to the bone. You could have stayed at the bar we were coming back. Rat tail going on.
He would have like bit you. You could have just stayed at the bar. I'm gonna pet him. He didn't have to come with us we were coming back maybe. All right I guess I gotta roll for my survival check. Yes. You get advantage. Because they are helping you. Good thing.
Is it worse? Is the second roll worse? I should have cast a guided stone. Well hold on. I have inspiration. What's the inspiration again? Can you get the gold again? A third time. I gave me a three and a two.
So you guys stumble up after Mondor here who is leading you up into the hills into uh Malcoon Valley. You are soaking wet. The rain is pouring down around you. You are pushing through the high grass here as you sort of come off of the main road and head off into the wilderness. It's very rocky here. It's very bouldery. It's getting rather steeper. You can hear rushing water off somewhere. Perhaps it's
just the rain. As you continue to climb up into the hills here you sort of blink and there is another crackoom of lightning above you. Looking up Mondor you see for an instant highlighted against the lightning shapes up in the clouds.
Large sort of bulbous almost like inverted bowls. Sort of grayer spots up in the clouds but as the lightning fades that disappears.
Guys you guys have much more experience in this world than I do. I should say huh? Yeah.
Yes. I'm gonna explain to them what I just saw. Does that ring a bell? Does that ring a bell? What was that? DM does that ring a bell? I don't know. I would need a nature check. Nature? I asked so that's why I'm rolling. 15. 15? So you sort of stare up into the sky and of course with your 30 feet of vision you cannot see anything up there. You can see the fog and the rain. I just got what he explained. But no you cannot remember anything about these creatures.
Or if there even were creatures. For all we know he's just seeing. I don't know what you're talking about. I think he's crazy. That shit doesn't resonate with me. Sorry. Don't tell them that they're crazy. It's fine. We don't know it. Okay and I'm gonna keep walking.
So you continue up the hill here and as you crest it you sort of look around. The fog has come up and you start to realize that you think you've lost the path. As you sort of turn around and look back the way you came you realize you cannot see gear. You've come up here into the fog bank and you're not really sure which way you came from. Are we lost? What's up buddy? You look concerned. I think this tree looks familiar. So I lost the trail.
How you doing Mary? Somewhere around there. Isn't that Bailey? I can't find gear. I think we're lost. Why is he smacking that tree's ass? He fucked that tree. Oh. Yeah. You still want to ask questions? Mondo's over here and he's like I think we're lost. Everyone's like yeah he fucks trees. It's like we're lost. We talk about this way too often. If you see the tree assume I've had coitus. Assume. But I thought he was fucking that tree.
What? Trevor over there. The red one? Yeah. Where you got those chains from? The tree. Trevor. The one that goes to the left. I don't swing that way. I'm conservative in my politics. Don't tell him I said that though. I don't know how you'd take that. And I'm sure about how to go about this though. I don't think I can guide this. Rowan.
Rowan. As the rest of you guys are looking around those two are off examining the tree at the top of the tree. You are grabbed. I need a dexterity saving throw for you. Oh god. And I need everybody else to go ahead and roll me an initiative. Oh boy. Anyone within 10 feet of me gets an extra plus 3. So that die would be some good. What's the bonus we got? Plus 3. Plus oh fuck. Let's go. I rolled an 18 on my deck save.
So vice what do you get? Well, Rowan got an 18 Mondor. Well no the deck save I got an 18 but I also got an 18 on the initiative. But yes. So he was correct. But I was just like hey don't assume. Mondor. 11. Tix. 22. 22 dear god. What? I got a 19. Rowan as you are standing there something slithers around your tree.
Around your chest and up under your arm and starts to pull you up into the air and you quickly push back and sort of fall on your ass and stumble back up and you look up into the mists where you can see six large half transparent tendrils coming down out of the clouds.
And there's another crackoom of lightning and thunder and highlighted up against the sky you can see three of those large sort of inverted bowl shapes that you saw before. They are bigger and they are closer than they were earlier.
There's more. So I'm I don't like where this is going.
Drustix you are up first. Great. Do I see her get attacked? Yes you did see that the tentacle has come down. Okay so I can see the tentacle because that's all I can see right now. Do the tentacles count as a single creature? Game mechanics wise so out of game real quick.
No they are coming from the group so there are six tentacles coming down. There are three creatures up there so it's about two per creature right now. I cast Bane on the tentacles and the tentacles count as a creature within range. I'm going to like hold my hand out in the sparkles that come off of me as I give true sight are going to come off of my hands and go towards the tentacles and they have to make a Christmas event.
Two of the tentacles sort of shiver and recoil from your outstretched hand but one of them the one that was in front of your friend does not appear to be aware that you're doing anything.
Whenever a target fails they make an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends the target must roll a d4 and subtract the number rolled. Nice. Alright thank you Tix. Rowan.
I'm taking a swing at this thing with my fucking sword because fuck that. Oh jeez. Anyway. 13. You swing around with your sword here it glances off this sort of half transparent tentacle. I swing again.
I get an extra attack. That's better. 25. That's a hit. Would like use our skull. Sure and I'm going to use a level two divine smite so I get three extra. Oh 26 damage. I don't train that part of my thighs. 26 damage. 26 damage it is.
Alright you bring your sword around and you cut off the areas of this tentacle here and from high up above almost far away yet not at the same time through the storm you hear a
As if somebody had just rang a horn. Vice you are up. So tentacles still around yeah. Yes they are. If our audio listeners are confused I smack the shit out of their faces.
Just OK. We were confused too. Yeah. Oh yeah no. He hiked up his shorts so I reached for him and just got the inner thigh. Yeah. That's a 19. 25 to hit. That's a hit. You're going to run over to the tentacles you can see. Yes sir. So you run over to the one closest to Rowan here.
So you're sort of amongst the tentacles now. This was Arnados. Oh that's right. Arnados is a scythe idiots. For the dumb ass audio listeners. It's a scythe obviously.
So you swing your scythe around in a sort of two handed grip here and a trail of snowflakes and frost follows through the rain as you swing and slice off another good section from the same tentacle here and there is another one of those.
From high above you. Calamari tonight. And the tentacle withdraws up into the clouds above you. Bye bitch. Oh it did. It was. Why you do that dumb ass voice again. Sorry.
Don't worry about it. There's Everly, Frong, Cody, George of the Jungle, David Dane. Oh Stradivarius. Sorry that was Stradivarius. Great.
It wasn't me though. It was Patricia. Patricia! Mondor. So I'm going to turn around and whip my mace in its face. It doesn't have one so. It technically does up in the sky that I can't see.
So you spin around and you see that you're sort of hemmed in on one side by one, two, three tentacles here. And you're going to swing at the one on the far side.
That's a hit. 10. 10? Alright. You spring your mace around and you clobber this thing and it sort of jumps and recoils from the blow and a large purple well springs up where you struck it.
An action surge. I can actually once harass take three actions. That's another dirty toy and this dice is doing me pretty good.
So you know what to do. You bring your mace on the backhand, swing it around and you strike it leaving another large purple welt on it and from up above clouds.
Take that. Wow. Great trash talk. He's trying his best. He doesn't know what's going on. He's trying his best. As he growled at you guys when he first met you.
Growl again. Don't forget. I'm going to do a Doby Doby power up and prepare an Eldritch Blast to fire. You sort of chuck on your fists here reload.
The sort of blue light from Doby Doby Doby floods around him giving his translucent musculature. That was a fun sound. Did it roll good? It did roll good.
Hey! Hey! Did I roll a two? No. I said true. Oh okay. You're nice. Blue. 23. That'll hit. Roll me damage. Which one are you attacking here? That one. I'll go with the one closest to you.
So 19 damage. So you spin away from the tree, turn over and pow. It actually makes the pop up like if you've ever watched Animal and the Batman.
Yeah. Kakum. Smack. A peep. Just a little oomph. Doby Doby is a fan of literature. He does know the reference. And that does pop up as you strike it right there into the tentacle here leaving a sizable hole in it that sort of smokes purple and sort of fades away into the mist.
And then I'm gonna get out my loop and start playing a very solemn like rainy kind of like ditty. Can you hear over the rain? Yeah it sounds like that one TikTok audio.
You know it's not that one. I'm singing in the rain. Please don't lick me pain. Something like that? Yeah it's a TikTok sound. I'll play it during the break. Copyright. Sure.
Since only one person here got the reference. Tix is gonna get part of his reference. Is it D8? Yeah it is. Alright let's go.
Our tentacles now are going to congregate. They're moving towards our lovely person in the center right there Mondor. And they are going to move over towards Tix as well. Ah shit nevermind. My brother in Christ it's been nice knowing you. My sibling in Christ. You might die as well.
I need dexterity saves from the both of you and I need them with disadvantage. Oh man. Welcome to tentacles without a list. That's an 8. I want that anti-lion. That's an 8. Yup.
That is a 12. So the rest of you guys watch as your two friends are grabbed by these tentacles. Wrap around them and begin to lift them 5, 10, 15, 20 feet up into the air.
You guys are restrained and grappled. God we hate to be them right? So restrained means our movement goes to zero and we have to make a grapple check. We have to make a grapple check. We have to warp in the air. I don't know how to do that. I can take a 20 feet.
You are slowly continuing to rise up into the air here. As you guys do you feel piercing pain striking into your arms and where the tentacles are touching you your skin and clothing begins to hiss and bubble.
You are going to take 12 acidic damage. That was really really low. I don't give a shit that it was low. That fucking hurt. No I was trying to do the math and I was trying to do the subtraction. I was like what is that?
Terrestix you are up. What would you like to do? Can I look up? Can I see the thing that's holding me? So looking kind of glancing up here in the room wiping it out of your eyes. The best of your ability. You glance up and you see more of these tentacles.
They seem to be shorter and undulating and moving amongst the clouds. You can make out faint sparklings of purple and red and blue light somewhere up above you. You cannot see what these tentacles are going to be attaching to.
Did this thing grab me like pinning my arms? It sort of wrapped its tentacles around your arms. I'm using this one because this one got me at seven. Nine. It beats you. I figured it would.
It's squirming in its clutches here and it just retightens its tentacles around you holding them tight. I'm just going to go okay don't panic. You got this. I'm cast healing word on myself. I gain nine hit points back. Nine hit points back? Awesome.
Thank you. Dress sticks. Rowan what are you doing here? As a bonus action I'm going to activate my radiant soul so my shimmering spectral wings become corporeal and I'm going to take off after them into the sky.
I am going to need an athletics check from you to sort of batter your way the way you want to go against this breeze. The wind is blowing this way. 22. That is more than enough.
And then I'm going to attack the one holding ticks because I figured Mondor probably has an easier chance of getting out. And then I'm going to take my swing. Nat 20 baby! Woo!
And I'm doing a... Yeah. But only level one this time. Level two. So what is that just one extra D8? Yeah two extra D8. Oh Jesus. 49 damage. Holy! You bring it around with a mighty swing and you cleave one of the tentacles in twain.
It is going to drop our lovely friend. Good thing he healed. Who is going to begin to plummet towards the ground. You fighting against the wind are going to be pushed back five, ten, fifteen, twenty feet. Okay. So you are still up in the air but you've been sort of blown back.
I don't have the ball down to go get them but I'm almost back up but it's looking good. Vice you are up. You're still held? No it dropped me. Okay that got both of them. Yeah ticks is falling. So then the only one left is the one that...
The one that is currently being held. Fire! What do we see? Do you see the full metal alchemist? Like the roaring Mustang? No no. It's not that cool. I burp. I make a little finger gun bang and I just make a fire. Like a flare.
Dexterity save please. Dexterity save from our mystical tentacles. That is going to be a 20. They pass. So they will take half damage every week. Oh never mind. They just pass. They just pass.
Your flare goes up into the mist. Well I've done all I can do. And there is a sharp pop in the sky and you guys see are sort of a shape up there as it sails past for just a second. Look at this inverted blob as it sort of disappears.
And above there is a noise and the tentacles around you squeeze tight and begin to sort of swish backwards and forwards with you. Swinging you around almost as if they were trying to dispel the fire that had just kind of flew past them.
What did you do? I wish I knew. I think I missed. Oh god. I'll look with both eyes next time. Sorry. You were just swinging up and down like a swig. The fire. I missed both times. The fire. The fire. They don't like fire. They don't like fire.
Thank you Vyse. Mondor you are up. Alright. I have another inspiration. Which inspiration do you have? I had a bardic inspiration. So I forgot about it. It's called the exact same freaking number. I think you might need the retired there. What do you look like? I retired two sets of dice right now.
No. I also do a roll of shit. Six. Six? You are struggling against this thing but it's swinging you left and then right again. The rain is stinging against your cheeks as you are sailing through the air here in the fog. You are soaked through to the bone. All of the heat has left your body. You are now freezing cold.
Sorry. That's rough buddy. As a bonus action I am going to imbue myself with the might of a giant. Okay. Yes. Giant might. As a bonus action imagine the game the following. Become lord. Advantage on strength check and saving throws.
I feel an extra D6. Does that become large? That's my biggest concern right now. Does it drop him because he becomes large? So you are there in this thing's arms and suddenly your magic flows up through your arms. Your other arm. Legs. Chest. Push. Head. Bunk. And this thing. Of course.
Bunk. And this thing. Cartoon. Boops you apart as you grow large. This thing's tentacles which have wrapped around you are suddenly flung aside and you begin to fall.
I'm just sitting there flapping in the wind and I'm like oh shit. All right.
Laundry is a titan shifter. So like. I guess how big do I become? You become large. What is considered large? Ten feet. Yeah. Ten feet. Or is I'm only falling ten feet. You fall ten feet. Is I'm only falling ten feet. Yeah. So you drop down ten feet onto your now large feet. Big boob. You are now you're not standing there in the pouring rain and your clothes have magically grown with you.
Yep. I like this line. You're like in Monsters vs. Aliens and she becomes really big. Her clothes still magically decide to stay on her. That's just really well made. All right. Thank you Mondor. Rolik you are up. Cool. Rolik's curious about something so he's going to ignite Barric and such in this sword is blazing with the flame and I assume causing quite a lot of steam. Yeah. It's just pouring up from the blade. Go. Go. Match is game.
I'm going to cast Comprehend Languages on myself and I'm hoping to hear the thing make noise again and see if I can understand it. Any intelligent language. That's smart. So what are you doing with your sword? Probably like wave it around or something. Maybe like trying to freak it out because I know fire seems to be not so great.
The tentacles come down towards your blade here as you sort of swish swish swish and above your head they recoil and sort of pull back into the clouds and you hear from above the.
Your mom said like a noise from really right now. I fucked up. And as you hear that you do not get the sense of any language is being spoken here but you do get the sense that something is either in great pain or is being frightened by what you're doing.
I'm going out on a bit of a limb here. I'm going to be real with you all but I think whatever this thing is it's it's scared maybe hurt. I don't think it's evil. Let's end it. Okay. That's actually the opposite of what I was trying to say. But sure you fucking psychopath. It attacked us first. It did attack me first. I'm just saying I think it might be a wounded animal kind of situation and I can't wait to put it out of its misery. Everyone welcome to Weiss. Well fuck me I guess.
Don't tempt him. Yeah don't tell him that. I'm not a tree. Cosplay. I don't know what that means. That's your own thought. Well look is there anything else you'd like to do. I'm a bardic inspiration the only other person who's not telling me just like yeah fucking kill the thing so Mondar gets bardic inspiration. Nice. Nice go ahead and add that. A D.A.
A D.A. Let's go. Alrighty. So our tentacles are going to descend once more. There are far fewer of them and they are reaching out towards Rolic. Rolic do you still have your sword like above your head here. Yeah. You're still swishing it. Yeah. Okay. They're going to sort of come down. One of them is going to tentatively probe kind of near the blade. It sort of recoils from that kind of scrunching up.
All at once. Then it goes up into the abyss. That's terrifying. You were out of finish. I just fell 20 feet. Can I catch them. You can try. Give me a. I cast tiny hut.
Give me give give give give give give me a. This is an athletic. You're catching like a baseball. Give me an athletics check please. Your giant strike. Please tell me you do like the whole turn and dive thing. Don't you get a plus something. Giants might. Thanks for the bardic inspiration. Yeah. 14. 14. That is enough. How do you get how do you catch sticks. Okay. So where are they in recollection of my arms. They're above you. They're above you.
They're falling out of the sky. I guess to the people who are listening I reach out and just kind of like grab me out of the sky. Yeah. I like how you pick out of a cereal box from like yeah. Yeah. Pretty much exactly. I caught and like you know grabbed and kind of just a very gentle reach out to pull them out of the sky. Hello there. Thank you.
You belong to me now. I am on the door. I'm gonna put them down. I'm gonna like stumble. Are you gonna remain large. No. Our tentacles have disappeared up into the sky and there's another crack whom flash of lightning and Paul of thunder. You guys sort of look at that.
Up into the sky. You still see those sort of shapes up to the round shapes. They appear to be much higher up than they were before as the light fades. You were left there on the top of the hill with nothing but the fog and the wind and the freezing rain pouring down all around you.
I'm looking straight ahead because I know for a fact I can't see things. I'm just gonna wait till all you look back down. So I'm looking up at the sky. Yeah. I'm gonna go. So now might not be the best time to tell you guys I'm a molest. What do you mean a molest? I'm always stiff. I'm always gonna look at you. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Vice. What are those blobby things in the ocean? Molests? No. No. They're like kind of like they almost look like a gelatinous cube but more like blobbish and they got those little like octopi? Seahorses? Squids? I draw a picture of it. It doesn't look great because it's raining. Where'd you draw the picture? I got a notebook. I legitimately in and out of game can't do this.
Is it a jellyfish? It's like squishy like a booba. Jellyfish? Yeah. That's it. Like a booba? Like a booba. Jellyfish. You're talking about boob jellyfishes. Yes. I think they're sky jellyfishes. That's it. Are we in game junk too? That's it.
Why do you hang out with them? I question this every day. I think it's the same thing about them. Why are they hanging out with me? So like he's kind of just a neutral student. They're not here. You know what? They do look like jellyfish. Holy shit. But you're weird as fuck as normal compared to those two. Oh you know what I'd say? Thanks. Alright so theoretically, theoretically. Yeah. So hey wait a second. If there are sky jellyfish what does it mean? Oh wait I know what it means. We're lost. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. This is what it means.
What was rule number one Mondor? Don't ask. Don't ask questions. We will find out if we need to know. I'm actually surprised I remembered. I thought we sleep out the storm inside Tiny Hut. That I can do. Is it? I know it's raining but I'm assuming not a lot of time has truly passed. It's probably been maybe a few hours right? Yeah why don't we just go back to the tavern. It's been about an hour and a half. Yeah I didn't think it was that long. Look behind us. You could glance back. You do not see the trail that you came in. There is swirling sort of mist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I think we're lost all around. We're lost. You're bearings here in the air. Can you use your nature senses to get us out of here? Let me just, I pick some grass I toss in the air. Oh look. Home.
I know. I saw it.
That's great. That was the best. I know what I'm also wearing. Probably but it would've been as funny. Touche. That was funny. That was good. I'm not going to try to do anything. My nature may not be crazy. I mean I would've been. Hold on. Wait a second. Wait a second. Igor!
Yes master. Right on cue. From behind the tree. Ah! Igor this short man, slightly different, highted eyes, waddles his way around the tree and he looks at you. How may I help you master?
And you're semi-omnipotent. Do you know which way town is? Town master? Here. No. Where are we master? Good question. We're lost. Igor. Ah. Well masters, I do not know where we are. Oh. Very well. Um. I know that I'm. I know where home is. Oh. Can you take us there? No. No. We have shit to do here. I think. What do we have to do here? That's better than being lost. We're following someone. He's a bitch ass.
Yeah we can't go through there though. We're following some. Well we're following someone who apparently can't touch rain. I can't see them so I can't see them so I don't know what's happening. But if this person. Do they have a straw hat on? But if this person is. The rain is moving for them. They're probably important. Igor desiring a belt. Can you somehow make rain avoid you? I'm not a druid master. I don't have that power. It's a druid! Oh my god if it's a druid then they can totally help us out. With what? Everything. I mean our druid is not a druid.
Yeah but he's not a high level druid. If we get a high level druid they could probably A. help us through the one portal we found and B. we could probably try to get them to um. I don't know if we need to get into one of the other rooms. That's not the uh. Tick tick tick. Can you come over here for a second? Oh jeez. Yes I'm gonna follow you. This is what you know. I'm a little weak today. Feeling a little. I'm not feeling my best. I'm not feeling on top of it. I'm feeling vulnerable. And you're a call of your own. Why did you come to the huddle? You come in the huddle. I'm here to help.
I understand that at this time I would like you to be a little more supportive in the future but I understand that I didn't communicate this earlier so it's okay that you insulted me. Just keep in mind for future notice if I'm ever hungover please.
I'm gonna tap you on the shoulder and I'm gonna look very sorry I didn't hurt your feelings. We love setting boundaries. Bitches! Yeah! I'm gonna go back into my persona now but thank you so much.
But if this person is a druid then they might be able to help us with our predicament from earlier with the weird little warpy world.
Igor thank you. You may go back home I guess. Thank you master. Yeah I'll let you get out of the way.
And he's gonna sort of shuffle his way around the tree as he walks behind it. You hear a creak of a door and then you hear a close of a door and you do not hear Igor.
Guys there's a door over there. No there's not. We'll look and there's not. No no I really want to look but I know there's not gonna be one there. There's not. We know so we don't need to.
I learned from my mistakes. Hey Vice why you ask one of those personalities in that lovely little brain of yours if they know a druid who can resist rain or whatever the fuck.
Or just ask them how to get out of here because either is favorable right now to me. I would like to call upon Everly. I feel like she's lived along as she has a lot of experience.
So can we call to Everly? Yeah.
Hello dearest what visit you desire? Hi Grandma. Oh my gosh look how much you've grown. Your cheeks are so plump. Oh my gosh you are one friendly foe. Me? Have you seen him?
You look like me in my younger days. Oh my and I was a force to be reckoned with. You. I'm gonna take that as a compliment.
You should. I've seen pictures of her back in the day. Oh some pinups. That's not the reaction I normally get from people.
Now what can I help you with dearest? Um we're at Grandma Mop. We're looking for. Grandma Mop. It's just the relationship we have.
We're looking for a druid who can uh rain doesn't seem to like get them wet. They got like an invisible umbrella. They have an umbrella?
An invisible one it would seem. You know what I mean? Like. Fancy do that at that. They repel rain from themselves. You know anyone who can do that? You know how druids do that? Yeah make a history check for me please. Fuck you.
To see if our lovely Grandma Mop remembers anything. Aw none of my personalities give me bonuses. You're his serious bonus intelligence. You have a good intelligence. I don't know how to make stats for all these different guys. Eleven.
Grandma Mop remembers a name. Hi-har-rock. Hi-har-rock. Oh we had so much fun back in the day. He was evil. I wasn't. Wicked cunt.
You would shake the forest all night. I don't see any more similarities. Okay. The noises of the jungle were nothing compared to my screeches. Can you just tell us where they are? I don't need reminiscences of you screeching. He's got a boater. Wait vise? Yeah.
I'm gonna sniff you. Why? Why look down at this boater? Do I know any of his habits? Yes you remember vaguely that he's a bit of a wanderer. And that sort of grasses and the leaves will sort of apart for this figure as they stroll through the land. They're supposed to be very relaxed and peaceful.
There is look for grass that is unnaturally parted. That's my clue. Did he part your grasses Grandma Mop? I feel like this is like a game on your phone. And you get the main prompt and you have to buy a hint. And that's the end of it. And the hint is the hint that you already knew about.
I'm most curious to meet Grandma Mop. Would you like a first catch? Yes please. I'm going to search for parted grass. Can I go with you? Are you helping? Yeah I'll help. Okay. Please give me a survival check.
What he did was he bit me. Just we're talking about this. 15. 15? So you sort of stumble around here through the rain, squelching through the mud, which is absolutely take your boots. And you sort of look down as you're sort of shivering and shaking with the rain running down your back.
And you look around and you see that the tree they'd been at before is sort of bowed over. And you look at one side of the path, the edge of the clearing, you look at the other side of the top of the hill. And you realize that if you draw an imaginary line between the two, it looks almost as if the tree had parted aside connecting with the grass.
I'm going to walk over. I'm going to pop up behind my window real quick. The chemical jug. Yeah no, this is better than prison because they don't give you alcohol.
You're right. You're accurate on that one. Got him there. I'll take a drink.
And I'll be using the toluza. Yeah welcome to the edge of the clearing.
You look down and you can see a trail of parted shrubs, grasses leading off into the mist. I got it. Found it. Thank you dearest. My my.
Straping and practical. All right. Since I was there right with you, I'm going to follow you wherever you're going. I'm also going to like this point when I'm walking around, I'm going to be holding on to somebody because I will lose you if you're 30 feet or farther from me.
So I'm going to hold on to somebody. And since I'm right next to you, you're going to have a death grip on your wrist as we're walking.
I will take up the rear because I'm still hovering because I'm one of those people that I get to use these once a day. I will use up every single minute of what I'm allowed to use. Fuck walking.
Oh you're flying? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to need an athletics check from you. Oh yeah 20. 11.
You guys are at the top of the hill, Mondorne and Tix. Where's Rowan? And you guys just watch as Rowan gets buffeted by the wind.
Past you down the hill.
This is what happens when you have flyable wings. This don't happen.
There's a reason why I'm not flying right now. That shit right there. Well fuck you. I get to use these once a fucking day. Yeah. Well tell that to the mud on your face.
I'm going to kind of keep this going. Are you okay Rowan? Yeah I'm fine. No one has showed concern. I knew. Mondorne knew she was okay.
You guys continue down here into the valley and looking around once again sort of Taff has become indistinct and hard to follow. I'm going to need one last survival check from the group here.
I need you guys to figure out how to figure out together where this is going. Okay.
15. When I cling it it doesn't also. You know what? That's a 5. I need 20. That's a 6. Plus 6. Yeah just in case I need more than a D8 and a D20. Plus 15. A 5.
A 1. That's 20. That's 20. Alright. You guys are searching around and as you do vice you spot the thorn bushes in this area have been sort of shaped into almost a tunnel or an arch.
I found where to go and it looks ominous. Who's going first? I'm going. Ah Jesus Christ don't say that so soon. You are going to die first in movies. I start walking. We know what those are.
I kind of wipe off my face and my wings and I walk while grumbling behind the door. I hand you a handkerchief. You missed a spot. The handkerchief is just dripping water.
Did you remember? I used my hand that's still holding the sword and like smacking away. It's soaking wet. No. That was by far the funniest thing you've ever done. That was the funniest thing.
You guys start down this sort of arched path of thorns and as you descend further you find yourself entering a grove of large pine trees that have sort of formed an arch dome over a central area with a large open hole for the sky.
And sort of half lounging back against a log with his hands rubbing in front of him is a rather short looking elf.
And he's wearing that same large straw pointed hat and the cloak made of leaves with moss on the shoulders.
He's got an angular, handsome looking face and you can hear a faint buzzing coming from somewhere near him. And he does not appear to be wet in the slightest.
It's grandma's love. Not Doris is your man. Is this the guy you saw? No, it's grandma's man. Oh, yes.
Tell you ho there! How do you do?
Ah! Oh! Hello. I was planning on doing this.
Hey! Nice to meet you.
Hello there. I'm very surprised I'm a saint.
This is my whole group. I'm going to dox them in their locations.
Fellow travelers on the road. It's such a time you must be soaking wet and hungry perhaps.
Oh! What are you serving?
I was like hungry? No, wet? Yes.
All I had was green peppers. All I had was a bagel.
Oh, I guess you guys didn't really...
Perhaps you will tell me a tale. I am Betel and Betel is me.
So perhaps you will tell me who you are, sit down and I will share with you what fare I have and drive you close for you.
What a message, guys. So this is wicked cock guy?
What? Do what? Maybe you should have kept grandma out. I don't know.
Tina was screaming at me while I was inside my head so I didn't hear what grandma was saying.
I read a message from Isaac and C. That said my favorite Hashim portal was closed up. Was that perhaps one of you who wrote it?
Did it say out of Ordar?
It did as a matter of fact. That was me.
Oh, wonderful. Could you mind telling me what happened to my portal?
I found it like that.
I see. There was a bit of a lie to your voice, yes or no?
I mean, I found it like that. He might know what's going on.
He sort of looks you up and down. You are a druid, yes or no?
Just real out of game. This happened at my work.
Some dude messaged me and was like, Greg can answer. Greg could not answer.
That's my favorite thing. We were like, yeah, you can answer it.
And I'm like, what in the world makes you think that I can answer that?
What makes you think I have answers?
When I went through the portal, it seemed very dangerous. And therefore, because it was just open, we actually opened it to all.
I'll be honest with you, because you can tell when we're lying, apparently.
Wait, this is the one where I looked right through it. It wasn't right through the Fey Realm. It was just from one location to the other.
But then I accidentally opened it all the time for everyone to see.
I don't think it's Challenger. It's not Challenger. It was just a mountain.
I see. I see. I see. I see.
So in order to protect everyone, just travelers or even beasts coming from the other side, I closed it. Not the best.
Well, it will take much work to repair. And I'm very sorry for that.
And obviously, please let me know any way that I can help. I was hoping to check on it on our way back.
From Gears, well, I appreciate you telling me the truth. I must say, I'm rather surprised to meet someone who could successfully close one of those portals. They're quite old.
Successfully is like 50% right.
I see. Well, unfortunately for you, but luckily for me as well, the portal is closed and I have had to travel east the hard way.
Why couldn't you just fix it if you know how to do it?
I do not know how to repair the portal. I just use it to travel east.
But it took you to a mountain, a very cold mountain. Yes, it did. It took me out east to the Frosty Plains.
Did you have to go through the Fey Realm to get there?
It is a machine portal. You step through and you step out the other side.
Oh, so it's made that way.
So you're not supposed to go to the Fey Realm?
No, I don't exactly know how they work, but they act as a sort of bridge between one place on the same plane to a place on the other same plane.
Oh, so that's okay. We thought it was broken because we usually go to portals like that. It takes the end of the Fey Realm and then we take it all the way out of the Fey Realm. We don't usually just straight shot it.
We have learned and will potentially grow from this encounter.
I can see the confusion, but in future perhaps maybe we'd stay away from breaking the portals if we don't know who put them up.
Fair.
Anyways, I have told you my name. I am willing to dry your clothes off. Perhaps you will tell me who you are or where you come from.
You must be quite the adventurous sort to make it out here on a quite a stormy night, is this one?
Very stormy. I am Vice Dyser of the Tally Ho Ho's.
Pleasure to meet you, Vice.
Very nice to meet you as well.
You are a druid, mister?
Aye, that I am.
That's very interesting.
Why so?
I did not know there was any more members of your particular order left in life. I can see you're wearing the headdress of the Archdruid. Yes, no?
Yes, I am.
Have you known anyone else who wore that kind of headdress?
Indeed I have, but it was many, many years ago.
Do you remember their name?
Yeah, do you know anything about them? Because maybe I can be in a queue for them, perchance.
Perhaps we could save this for another time?
Righto, boss.
Sure.
So a bit of a blush is going to come into his cheeks.
Oh my god, it's Tina's lover!
Not Tina!
Grandpapa!
May I introduce you to another of the team?
I'm Mondor. I can't say I'm a Tally Ho Ho.
You're just a Ho.
Say it with your chest. Tally Ho Ho!
I don't think I'm one of those yet.
Pleasure to meet you, Miss Mondor?
Mister?
Mister? I'm sorry, I don't think I've ever seen one of your kind before.
Okay, you say, that's going to happen forever.
Actually, I don't think I've seen you.
I'm about to say, just hold on, because there's two of us.
Hi, I'm Tenet Roman Arkel.
I am the Watcher's Order, I hail from Mount Celestia, by way of the actual sea.
I am not familiar with this order, or this sea? Do you come from far away?
Um, outer plains.
Yeah.
The what?
Never mind.
Never mind, I won't tell you where I'm from then, because I don't just make it even weirder.
I'm a little confused of why you refer to them as the outer plains.
Like, beyond the same wild sea.
Ah, so you mean the elemental plains, as elements?
No, further out than that.
I didn't have to know there was settlements in the elemental chaos?
I also didn't know there was anything outside of those.
I think it's past the elemental house.
We were all.
And he's going to look at you very skeptically here.
There is stuff past the elemental chaos.
It's quite a, quite a different innovation?
Only certain people can go past, people who have the capability to do so.
We've never been there.
Unless you're a wizard who has just really good and powerful aim.
And Vice and I have definitely never been there.
Sorry, I sneeze when I lie, or when someone around me laughs.
No, um, this is, this certainly gives me a lot to think about, a message.
You can go too, as long as you have enough controlled power, you can make it past the elemental chaos.
Just be careful.
A lot of holes.
It gets pretty weird after the elemental chaos.
I see, I see. And who might you be, my fine feathered friend?
He can't go long distance away.
My name is Rulik, Lord of the Great, one of the Lords of Greywater.
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Rulik. And you?
I'm Dristix.
Very nice to meet you.
Very nice to meet you, Dristix as well.
Well, I do not have much, but he sort of reaches into his reed cloak, and he's going to pull out two loaves of bread, which he'll set down in front of you.
What I got!
And a bottle of honey.
I did promise I would share what I have, and of course I will hold up to the other end of my bargain.
And if you appear to be quite west, I will drag your clothes for you, if you will permit.
My name is Kip.
Can I drive you home?
Of course, I can drive those as well.
And he's going to put his sort of hands together, and his eyes are going to half close, and as he does, a bee is going to crawl out of the top of his hat.
And another one, and then a swarm, and it's going to begin to slowly circle the group.
If I was IRL, I would not let this happen.
There's just a sort of swarm of bees sort of circling the group, and you guys begin to fume out warmer.
And steam rises up from your clothes and from your wings as the water evaporates away.
This is my turn. I thought you wanted us to strip.
So we go.
Is it better?
I think IRL was already ready to strip.
So, do you...
We walked down in a rope today. I don't think I didn't see that.
Do you think you could tell me what it is you are doing on such a wet day as this?
We were looking for you, actually.
Why?
Yeah, he was following me. He was doing what I was following.
Oh, it's him.
You just followed him because you wanted to, I forget.
Yeah, I was curious.
Oh, well, here I am. If there's anything.
And he's going to sort of look up, and after a couple of seconds, you guys see another one of those tentacles start to sneak down to that opening in the fir trees.
Watch out!
I'm going to stand up and move as far away as I can from it.
Do not harm it. It's fine.
And he's going to reach into his Robogun, and he's going to hold something powdery and white up on his hand.
The tentacle is going to come down, and it sort of touches his hand, and it jumps and recoils and pulls back up.
What did you do?
Oh, and he sort of holds it out to you, and he's got a bunch of white crystals in his hand, very fine and powdery.
Alright, sniff it.
God damn it.
You really just went up and just like...
Is this so...
The Elmo meme.
Yes, normally we do not sniff the salt, but I have found it to be very effective.
That was salt, okay.
Did you have a good childhood?
I did. That's not what people with good childhood do.
That's the way salt can repel them.
Look at the way you walk. That's not what a good childhood walks.
I think I had a good childhood.
Yeah, I know.
You know.
That's the way you walk.
People with good childhood don't stand like that.
Okay, so...
So wait, how did you find out that salt repels them?
Is they just animals, like you and me?
See, I told you guys, and these two were like, kill it with fire.
I didn't say anything about fire.
I'm exactly.
It picked me up and then dropped me.
What is it?
Is that a sea urchin?
Are they sky jellyfish?
Yeah, are they?
Is that a sea urchin coming in for us?
I was right!
They tend to come down.
Suck it, nerd!
I said there are jellyfish with you.
I just out of game can't believe that you fucking did that.
They tend to come down out of the sky.
Every now and then when we go through a dark storm,
they feed on the storm, upon its energy,
and sometimes they get hungry for other things as well.
I feel like I've never seen them during a storm before.
Is this new?
No.
They've been on this plane before.
They've been fairly common to current.
I've been on this plane for a very long time, just indoors.
She said normally people tend to stay inside on such a storm.
Yeah, true.
Interesting.
You wanted to go out.
So why are you not inside?
I am a dead ennest.
You are a prisoner.
Why?
I don't know how you have to tell me that, but why?
I have a business outside.
I sort of travel around,
Are you a scene?
healing and standing up for the people who do not have any voices.
Like the animals?
Like this forest, like the wind and the sky and the water.
Can I take a good old look at him?
Don't sniff him.
Yeah, you can take a good look at him.
Don't worry, I will sniff him.
He's got this sort of reed.
I can see your nostrils flaring right now.
They're literally flaring.
I just needed to sniff the drugs, okay?
Give me a perception.
And it was salt.
So he needs to go over that.
Also, I wanted to be known that the sky jellyfish thought you two were snacks.
Yes, it did.
It was going to.
Do with that as you will.
You might as well sniff him.
I don't know what I'll take, but as a compliment.
Perception.
Sex.
You look at him.
You can tell now that he has a beehive, stroll hat.
Beehive, stroll hat? What does that mean?
He has a literal beehive on top of the hat.
He is wearing an old fashioned stroll beehive.
As a hat.
I'm going to look at this hat.
Why are you so animated, Mark Wahlberg?
Is this?
He gets so animated.
What is that on your head?
This is my hat.
I carry my bees with me wherever I go.
Yeah, bees.
Oh.
The bees.
Oh.
Why do you carry bees on you?
And then back away.
Why do you carry bees?
To spread around the good nature.
Are they friendly bees?
They just spread their clothes.
They are very friendly bees.
They make me honey and keep me fit.
And travel with me all around helping the forests in the castle.
You make different kinds of honey.
Yes, it is a royal jelly, but that is not to be consumed by us.
That is what I think.
I knew exactly what I was looking for out of game, but maybe you didn't see it.
Dirty 23.
Hey, you'll see what I was trying to see.
You look at Betzel here and you see that fastening his reed cloak closed is what you recognize to be a Tearspring friendship approach.
One of those leaves that you guys received way before I take out my approach.
Under his reed cloak, he's also wearing a simple green robe of rough wool.
And you also notice back on the edge of the clearing here, tied up against a tree and munching happily away at the grass, is a large chestnut horse with a white stripe working down its back.
That brooch, pulling your things together.
Yes.
Where did you just go get it?
Did I get it from the Lord of Tearspring?
Same!
I'm going to hold mine now.
I'll show mine.
We all have ours.
I know.
They do.
I don't know.
I don't think any of us have a friend of Lord Frisio.
So you are a friend of Lord Frisio too?
Yeah, we saved him.
Well, congratulations.
Hopefully he is doing well.
Yeah, I know, very well.
It has been some years since I have seen him.
Wonderful.
That's good news.
He helped us overthrow a whole thing with the manpower of the Mount Challenger.
That's a story in a hat.
It's another day, by the way.
You got rid of all the humans on Mount Challenger?
Oh, we didn't get rid of them.
Not all the humans.
We got rid of the bad guys.
You said you got rid of the manpower there.
Yeah.
There were also Goliaths that were allied with manpower, as terrible as that sounds.
So you got rid of the humans?
I'm a little confused.
I'm also confused.
That's what it sounds like you're saying?
No, that's very-
You got rid of all the manpower on the mountain, yes?
Yes.
Manpower organization.
Ah, now I see the trickery.
Do you see the confusion?
I do now, yes.
They're very strange.
What is this manpower organization?
It's a slavery organization, which is mostly humans.
Only humans?
They enslave humans?
They are human supremacists.
Yeah, they are human supremacists.
So they do not enslave humans?
They enslave everyone but humans.
Oh, they sound like very terrible people.
They are!
You do sound like terrible people.
You are correct in what you say.
I am quite glad, Sansa, that you got rid of them.
You have my thanks?
Glad we inadvertently helped you.
That's okay.
Yes?
How, when I saw you, none of the rain was touching you.
And you were parting the grass, and I guess trees.
How do you do that?
Plants and trees are my friends.
They move out of respect for me.
I suppose they rain, and I let it fall where it will.
So you said you were going off and seeing something.
You had some business elsewhere?
I do, as a matter of fact.
I am just waiting for my rides to finish up.
Rides?
Of course.
No, my horse is not coming with me.
So I'm just going.
Aww.
They will be making their own.
They cannot come with me where I am going.
Where are you going?
So what's your ride?
Oh, I'm going to see Jellyfish from before.
That thing is your ride?
Whoa.
Well, I plan to ride the wonderfulness.
Paris, where are you going?
Last time I went to Paris, I was like...
I'm going east.
They are very fast.
I had to find another way of transport.
What's east?
The direction opposite the west.
Where are you?
What is in the east?
Yeah, thank you.
Well, I am heading through the snowy plains out there in the east.
Past the nickel-tub mountains.
There's some strange trees afoot out there.
And I want to make sure the animals and everything are all taken care of.
And I need a fast way to get there, so I happened to come across this stone.
The Skyjellies were in the red spot, so when they are finished eating, I will go up with them.
We need help.
Back in the beginning.
We have a plane that we need to lose because we have described this.
We go into the forest at a certain point in the forest where we can't continue.
Because the literal world that we walk through warps above us.
The forest is in trouble.
And we can't physically push our way through.
I can see into the ethereal plane, and it also warps like that.
So we need to find a way to get past this point.
Or take it down.
Yeah, we need either a way to get past it or a way to go around it.
Because this phenomenon is also affecting the wildlife around it.
It's making invisible tigers.
So if we come with you and help you with whatever you're doing now,
will you come back and help us with that road?
Before we make our final offer, Sharks, let's gather around.
Sorry, sorry.
Let us huddle.
First off, I don't know why, but Everly is yelling at me to get her out here.
But that's another point.
Do it, do it, do it.
No, I'm not roleplaying.
I'm a scavenger.
Sharks.
Yeah?
You're advocating to keep me?
So, chicks, I think we should still try and help this man out some way.
But there's a forest nearby that needs help that could be more visually accessible
than going on a whole side quest real quick.
What forest? Do I know about this forest?
The one with fucking invisible tigers?
That's what we're talking about.
No, but you're saying you want to go help him east first.
Yeah, because that's where he's already going.
I think that's way too far away.
That's a freaking mountain.
I think if we talk about proximity, hey, this needs help now.
It's nearby.
I think we can get there. I think we need him going.
And then obviously we're not going to leave him hanging.
We're not going to abuse people. We're good people.
Maybe you can find a way to fix the portal that you broke.
I can't. I can't. I can't.
I mean, I said help, not miracles.
If one of us wants to try to convince them to come with us and try to do some work, then we can...
I mean, invisible tigers is pretty bad for the forest's economy.
Yeah, but this man seems pretty dead set and going where he's going.
I'm not saying don't try it, but...
This man is a wanderer.
He goes with the forest.
We're prepared to offer you 20% stake in our company.
Battle.
Yes.
We've recently encountered a forest nearby that could use some help.
As mentioned, that portal is messing up with the forest's natural balance.
Tigers are becoming invisible.
Goats are being taken from the shepherds without being properly introduced into the cycle.
Tigers...the people are scared.
They're not going into the forest and, you know, regularly doing the trimming of the trees that need to happen every so often.
As you know, that if you don't chop down trees in a forest every so often, wildfires are more likely to happen.
Thanks, Smokey the Bear.
Therefore, I propose you come with us and help us solve this puzzle of a conundrum real quick.
Maybe another head will help us.
As fellow friends of Lord Frasier, you have our word and our honor that we will assist you with whatever you need after you assist us.
That's good.
I had to help.
Advantage...
It's the best I got right now.
My persuasion is shit, so that's why I didn't do it.
Fifteen.
What?
Six.
The argument you are making is quite interesting to me.
It's a sense that there is quite a forest in the forest.
Side quest?
However, I already have plans to at least take care of things there, but perhaps I will swing by after I am done doing what I need to do.
You are more than welcome to come with me.
You seem like nice people after all with this consideration for Sepharis, so in exchange for perhaps you taking care of the problem we were talking about, I will show you, if you so wish, how to mount one of these Skyjellies.
Yes, No?
So you said you were waiting on the Skyjellies, correct?
I am waiting for them to finish feeding yet.
How long does it take for them to feed, and what are they feeding on exactly?
They are feeding on the storm above us.
You said they get hungry for other things.
They do, yes.
They need solid matter from time to time.
Well, the storm isn't letting up anything.
So you think they will be eating for a while?
He sort of licks his finger, and he holds it up.
Actually, I think it will be done in less than an hour.
Oh, this guy is fucking with me.
Can you feel your hair?
It is no longer floating up as it was.
The storm is becoming less...
Yes, it has not lately for quite some time.
They almost finished their feeding, I assume, and will begin to head back up soon.
Okay, question. So he wants to go to Nickel Top.
He wants to go to the snowy place past Nickel Top.
Oh, okay. And our portal opens up while I'm challenging him.
So that's part of the Nickel Top mountain range.
Does that help?
I mean, you guys were originally talking about going to the Hashim who are out in the Glass Sea.
This would basically give you a massive jump that way if you were still planning on doing that.
And also, our portal is over the back at your keep, so...
I'm just looking for a negotiational possibility.
I'm trying to think of ways to keep him here, but...
But I think either...
I think we either join him...
I also want to join him in the battle.
Battle? What's your horse doing while you are going on this adventure?
My horse? He will be making his own journey over the mountains and over to the Skelly Lands.
By himself?
Yes.
But he's a horse.
He is a snowback. He will be just fine.
Is a what?
A snowback.
Which... is?
I don't know. I do well in life.
I don't belong on this plane. I don't know.
Have you ever met a polar bear?
Someone should try and remember that for me, because I don't belong on this plane, so I don't know anything about this.
I was about to say, I probably know very little.
Player knows.
Yeah, Player knows, but Mondor does not.
Polar bear?
Alright, I'll roll.
I disassociated.
You have no idea.
I didn't think so.
How about the horse?
Is that good?
Yes, they are quite capable on all sorts of snow and ice.
They never fall through, despite how thick the snow can be, which is very great for crossing great distances over across the avalanches or over mountains.
Is this the horse from the Goliaths?
This is from Mount Goliaths. Goliaths tend to live.
It's a snowback.
I have a cat. I have a pointy ear and...
Look! I have a cat.
Oh, there you are.
And he is going to walk over and he is going to get down one day and he is going to pet the cat.
I was wondering who you would get into.
I'll take my cat, but...
Is this cat?
I'll take my cat alone.
Has he been following you?
Yes.
No? Good for him. He's his own cat. He can follow who he wants.
Do you follow your own?
I want to point at him.
Better not leave me.
Wow.
I'm here in.
Better not leave me.
I'm so confused throughout this entire conversation.
I have no idea what's happening.
There is so much going on.
I'm sorry, did you think he was just a normal cat?
Yes.
I assumed it.
I figured he was just a saber-toothed tiger.
How often do you see a saber-toothed walking around from Sistine Edge?
I don't belong in this realm, so this seems pretty awesome.
Yeah, and considering the fact that I thought you brought it with him from the realm he came from, I thought...
I don't belong here. This cat seemed pretty cool. We made eye contact.
I don't question shit anymore.
And he's going to stroke the cat's flat head here.
And as he does, you see the eye is going to glow almost a faint golden.
This is not just a cat, this is a fae.
This is a... oh!
That is a fae?
That makes a lot of sense.
It's a fae?
FAAE!
That's a fae?
Yes.
He came from the fae realm?
It's really sad.
So he belongs in the... so he belongs in the fae wild.
Yes, yes indeed.
This does not belong here, but he goes where he goes.
You're never trying to feed a border in the forest.
I don't think so.
Bitch, we should have just thrown him in.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
We didn't know!
We should have just tried everything.
Okay, so since Kyrian is a fae...
Can he do things?
Can he help us?
You know our situation.
We've... you've... you've heard.
Can he help us?
You could probably keep your camp safe at night.
Track down a deer for you.
Okay, so I'm used to doing that, but I am.
Alright.
So, just like normal.
If you're asking if he can create a magic portal for you into the fae wild and travel through that, I could do with a say no.
I wasn't sure if he could go through the plains with a bow anyway.
Not to my knowledge, no.
Okay.
But I do know that they live forever, so you will never be one for a companion.
You have a forever friend.
Do not ever leave me.
Another thing that'll outlive me?
God damn it.
You hear me?
Do not ever leave me, okay?
He's gonna outlive you.
Bye.
I have abandonment problems.
I have abandonment issues, no.
You said that out loud.
You know that, right?
I thought you meant for a second.
It looks like the storm is beginning to pass.
If you're coming with me, I'm going to need to ask you to please get closer.
If not, go to the other side of this one too.
I need a decision from you.
I think we should go.
I think we should go if we need him to go and he's going somewhere else.
We should probably wait for the storm.
Give me one reason I should go.
You don't have to.
I'll give you five.
I just need the one.
I figured out the one.
Yeah.
Have you?
I stand like this ghostly.
We need to...
That was pretty weird, right?
I was pretty weird, right?
Mondor is talking about stepping right up to Vyson's face.
No, no, no. His face.
To Beddl's.
Oh, it's Beddl's face.
Beddl's bees are buzzing in his hat as you're right up against him.
I need you to stand right where you are and to Nutscream.
As he says that, you feel one of the tentacles slip down around and under your arm
and it begins to lift you up into the sky.
This is what it was doing earlier.
Have you ever watched Community?
Yes.
Your character seems very much like Abed.
Oh, but I know who that is.
I don't know who that is.
You got to find your Troy.
Troy and Abed in the morning.
This is what it was trying to do for us earlier.
So what I will need you to do is just take some of this and I'm just going to pass you the salt as you guys are rising up into the air.
Take some of this salt and hold it tightly in your fist and when it tries to pull you into its mouth, just throw the salt up.
Okay, okay. So when you say throw the salt up, don't actually throw it, just hold it up?
No, no, no. And he's disappearing up above you guys.
No, just throw it.
I like to be okay.
And you guys, Beddl disappears up into the cloud.
Bye, Beddl.
So he's not actually teaching us how to mount this thing. He's just teaching us how not to get eaten by it.
Vice, you are pulled up. I need from all of you guys an animal handling check.
I'm going to roll it.
I'm going to go up against my water line.
I don't think I have any...
Oh, that was almost a... I need that single digit number. Animal handling.
15.
7.
That's looking good.
I'm going to play a tune while I go up.
Tighten me up. Oh, but I might not need it.
So you guys are lifted up and you find yourselves amongst the clouds here.
You can see other tentacles trailing off past you into the clouds around you.
The rain whistling.
And as you rise up, you see the great large glob of multicolored lights sort of swirling and shifting inside of it.
The size of a small house.
Many of these tentacles are trailing off into the storm below.
Each one of you seems to have been grabbed by a different one of these things.
As you are lifted up, you see Betel, high above you, sitting on top of one of them.
Not being held by a tentacle.
He's just kind of perched up there with his legs crossed and you hear him yell,
Remember, ze salt!
And as you rise up, Vice, Rolik, Rowan, and Mondor, you guys,
Throw your salt up into this thing's maul as it tries to lift you up into itself.
And there is a...
The color is going to pulsate and shift and change to a deep red.
And you are quickly pushed up through the thing and you are spat out on top.
That was weird.
And you find yourselves all sort of sitting almost as if you were on a waterbed.
Sort of suspended here on top of these things.
Ticks.
You throw your salt up a little too early.
As you throw it up, it blows away in the wind.
And you are pulled up into the creature's maul.
And you just hear from up above,
No, no, no, you did not throw ze salt!
And Betel comes bounding over, jumping from raindrop to raindrop.
And he goes with his little toes on his wooden sandals,
Sort of like the shape of a... I don't know what we would call this.
The pie symbol almost.
He points his toes and he goes, sploosh, into the thing with you.
And as you were sort of here struggling and squirming to breathe, suspended in this room,
He grabs you over your hands, reaches into his pouch,
And goes, little fistful of salt.
And you were both pulled up and suspended together on top of this thing.
You were gasping for breath.
Hey, hey, you.
I, in case you can't tell, I can't see very well,
So I can't tell how far I had to be up to throw the sauce.
Thank you.
Betel, you are safe now.
Thank you.
If all of you could just pay attention to me over the top of the stone.
Looks like the jellies are just finishing up the last of their meal.
I will show you how you can control them.
They are very, very simple-minded creatures.
They look down on our world all the time,
Mostly during storms, so the darkness, they think, is the ground that they like to go towards.
That's why they are hungry.
See, they are no longer hungry, so they are probably going to go back up.
As you can see above us, any sort of points above you, the world is just over.
The aurora is sort of swirling up there,
And you can see Rot, Hanna, and Un'Worto sort of high in the sky with their blue and red clothes.
They most likely are using the moose to sort of get to their position.
So if you just, and he goes with his finger,
And a couple of bees swarm out of his hat from a little glowing blue ball on his hand.
If you just confuse him a little bit with some lights,
And you will see, look, he is already beginning to move to one way,
And he moves his hand to the other side, and as I say, he moves to the other side.
Is it just our thing? Is it all?
It's all of the ones that are close to him are sort of moving with the...
Are they starting with ours?
Yes.
I was going to get my lantern out if you did.
So, as long as you have those two lights that you can sort of move around,
You can generally get him to go where you will,
And, oh, that's a centus.
He does not normally see it, and he points up with a finger,
And you guys see a...
A creature, an enormous, almost like a whale,
With several sets of enormous flippers on it,
Flapping through the sky,
High, high above it, and its maw opens up,
And it swallows a good chunk of the Borealis
As it passes through a colored gas stream out front of it.
What are we doing here?
You, uh, DMO that to wildsave into that.
Do you not normally see a Skylas?
When's he out? If you do, you are very lucky.
Sky what?
Is this Skylas?
I thought they were in the water.
Then again, I thought Dylif was from the water, too.
I don't know shit about this plane.
Guys, this is...
Is there several of set ups there?
There looks like a three.
I thought my plane was fucked up.
What exactly are those?
Little golden lights coming over from the desert up into the sky.
I don't even want to know.
You know what? I probably can't see them, but is it bad?
I don't even want to know. I look at the lights anyway.
I do not know.
What are they?
I've never seen some of them.
They're just strange colored lights.
They're golden, or red, like a flame,
sending up from the glassy.
Can I see them?
Yeah, you can clearly see three streaming red flares almost heading up into the sky.
I'm going to need a perception check to see what they are.
Are they over 30 feet away?
Yes.
Okay.
I love not being able to see things 30 feet away.
35 feet in front of me.
I'd like to say, I've never truly explained what my vision is.
I feel like I can see perfectly 30 feet in front of me,
and then anything after is super blurry.
Someone who needs light, has no vision.
And that's so I can see past 35 feet.
I thought about this and wanted to bring it up to you sometime.
I thought about shadowing a blade making glasses out of it.
That'd be fun.
But the next time I look through them, I have to make a Khan saving throw.
Every time you look through your blade, you make a Khan throw.
Never mind.
Connor of Arcana.
Oh yeah, he rolled higher than me.
Never mind.
Both of you together get a clear sight on these three fiery streamers ascending up
from where Vettel says the class C is.
And you sort of squint and adjust your eyes here.
Rulik, you are very much recognized these.
You were obviously aware of them too.
These look like airships ascending up into the sky
with their two fire elementals swirling around them to support them.
Flaming streaks heading up into the sky towards the aurora where the sky whales are.
Well great, that's our ship.
Something tells me that's not good.
No.
Right?
Those aren't our ships.
That's something that tells me that's not good.
Oh, they're ships out there?
Fire usually means bad.
Remember how I mentioned Manpower, that organization?
Yes, I do remember it.
So I'm pretty sure that's one of their...
Do you know what an airship is?
I have heard September, I have never seen one.
That's one right there.
Ah, that's very interesting.
They're looking to get a close look at the sky whales, I assume?
No.
Maybe too close.
Manpower.
I don't think we need to be getting...
No, we do.
...too close of a look.
We need to know about that.
It's probably a much darker implication.
They're probably looking to do a little more.
Are you sending Delilisa to go into training to hunt?
Is this sky whales?
That would be Manpower.
Manpower we already have.
I can't say for certain, but that would be my guess.
That doesn't surprise me.
The battles' eyes kind of go dark here.
He looks down and goes,
I don't know if this is part of this.
I'd say we need to go to kick ass.
Normally ask for help, but I think in this situation,
you seem to know more about this than I do.
I would like to ask for your help in this instance
to drive these hunters away and protect these sky whales.
In return, I will give you a favor, you ask,
if you could zoom in within my power.
You have me at killing Manpower agents.
I am down.
Yeah, I'm deal.
And you told me that these people might...
I assume they know who you are?
No, they probably know who I am.
So if they see you, they'd be more welcome, isn't it?
Depends on how quickly we cut them down.
Well, in Sakeir, Saturday, have magicians up there with them.
Perhaps a wizard or two. I have an idea.
And he reaches into his robe and he pulls out a mask in his hand.
Ah, there it is.
This is one of my many masks I've collected.
And it will sort of adapt to your personality.
I was trying to get there.
It will... it's like an illusion.
It will make you appear to be spiritus effronus,
or what that format may take, I do not know.
But if you are willing, you could wear one of these to keep yourself safe.
Sure.
From being spotted, I suppose.
Yeah, outside here.
Sure.
Alright.
And he's going to pass a mask to each of you.
Do you put your mask on?
Yeah.
Yeah, alright.
I'm not sure how it's going to work in my beat, but we'll see how it goes.
Alright, Tix, what do we say when you put your mask on?
When I put this mask on, all of my features are going to kind of elongate a little.
My eyes are going to get a little bit bigger,
and my nose is going to kind of sink farther down my face and kind of stick out a little bit.
You know how Slender Man stands?
And how tall and long his arms are.
So my arms are going to kind of elongate, thin out,
and the skin is going to start to get like... I'm already pale.
But it's going to be to the point where you can see the veins through my arms,
and my fingers are going to kind of elongate a little bit.
My legs are going to shrink down and elongate a little bit.
But like, I don't know this is happening.
I'm assuming I don't know this is happening.
But as I'm putting on the mask, this is what you guys see.
I essentially grow, and my limbs get really thin and really long,
and my skin gets really pale, and my features get really, really pronounced.
We'll look. We'll see.
Cool. So when I put my mask on, all my feathers turn into this thing called grasses.
And I'm trying to get a red and blue color, and I'm trying to disappear into a more electric, greenish, and a tan.
There's still red and blue, but it more shows up in like flowers kind of popping up along with the wounds in the eye.
That's cute.
Rowan.
She kind of like gains a lot of muscle and like all of her body,
and like light tan, brownish fur kind of sprouts out.
And a long, free-head-style tail comes out from behind her.
And I put it on.
At first, you don't really notice a whole lot of the difference.
Except for the fact that I have a naturally large smile on my face.
And I turn around, and you realize that I also have another head, another face.
Right in the back of my head.
Oh, ew, ew. That's terrible.
That's creepy.
That's awful. I hate that.
And a vice.
You see it's just like long strands of hair.
I actually like palm tree kind of like covering my face in some beady eyes.
The grass strands kind of form together to make some serpentine heads.
Maybe more decoration than a lie, but they're just like, imagine just like Medusa kind of hair just jutting out from all over my face.
And then I'll also grow scales and probably like a little more hunched over.
Maybe my eyes go a little, my eyes are beady just staring through you.
I want you to notice that I have full control of the face in the back of my head.
That's terrible. Not of my actual face.
You could be a sick ventriloquist, dawg.
That's awful. I want you to know that.
Oh yeah. I got this one. I was like, okay, how can I make this one as terrible as possible?
The jelly is under you.
I begin to rise up.
Wait, does Beddle have a mask?
Beddle is not wearing a mask, no.
Beddle is actually, he has stood up and he's got his hands, you know, he's got his hands, arms kind of clasped very gently behind his back.
And he has a very deep scowl set on his very angular face.
As he is glaring up at these three airships ascending up into the sky.
And he's going to give a little tap with his foot on the jelly so he can just go, okay, I think we are ready.
Let us go.
And with that, a sort of darkness begins to spread out from the clouds.
And at this point, I'm just looking forward because I know I can't see a single thing.
You guys notice that somebody has carved and shaped part of Malkyrie Valley into the likeness of a rampant dragon amongst all of the swirling water and rivers that are careening down into it.
And as you guys rise up, you see the flans of multicolored gas begin to stream past you as you rise up and pop out into the aurora.
And as you rise, ticks your eyes into a blink and your vision starts to expand outwards.
As you rise into this glass and anywhere the gas has gone, you can see as if you could clearly see before you lost your eyes.
A rolling initiative as you guys are rising up towards these three ships.
Everyone gets a plus three.
Ticks, what did you get?
Sixteen.
Mondor.
Rowan.
Fifteen.
Roll it.
And vice.
Thank you.
Bitch, you want me to go last?
Oh no, I just wanted you to be low.
I need you to be low with me.
Beatle go with me.
It's normally me that I've been rolling really well.
I just can't believe the audacity of this man.
You just raised double digits.
I'm sorry that I can't always roll low for you.
I know.
Mondor.
You have to be, you have to roll low with me, vice.
What rules do you have?
I'm sorry.
You got to roll low with me, vice.
What rules says that?
When I roll low, you've got to roll low for the ruler.
Oh, I'm sorry.
TM, just take minus five from all of my rolls.
But only when Mondor rolls with single digits.
Yeah, only when I get below a 10.
No, the rule is just vice has got to be the last in an initiative always.
Always, yeah.
You can roll high, they just have to roll higher.
Yeah, exactly.
And except for the only rest- Yeah, you fucking abandoned me over there,
Ticks.
I'm sorry.
I rolled really well, you lost.
I'm sorry.
I rolled really well, I don't think you are.
I still have a plus zero.
I rolled really well in this encounter.
What am I supposed to do?
Oh-oh.
This is payback.
Yeah, she's going to hurt.
Your jellies begin to rise and rise up until you are almost parallel with these airships.
You can see the wake that they were leaving, these cones of compressed and heated air spiraling
out from behind them as they fly up towards the sky whales high above.
You can see the gleam of massive harpoons and what look like enormous weights that have
been tied off to the ends of them that are sitting on the end of the ship ready to be
kicked off to try and pull the whale down to her berth.
You can also see several figures who are standing at the railings of the airships looking down
at you and their faces blanch white as driven snow as they look down.
You hear voices on the wind just calling, a spirit, a spirit and a scoy are attacking.
Woods are rising up against us.
These voids and shouts and the ringing of bells from the airships.
One of them is actually going to start to turn towards you guys.
Rollick, you are up.
What would you like to do?
I was looking to see if I had another one that I built.
How far is the ship from you?
Let's see, it looks like it's about 30 feet from you on your jelly.
You can use a bonus action here to sort of direct your jelly.
I am going to pop off my jelly and I will fly towards the closest airship.
As you are flying, your wings are tracing through this sort of thick swirling nebulous
gas leaving vortices in your wake of just these sparkling colors that are sort of collecting
on the bow of your wings.
Sort of like a crystalline shards that are forming against it.
You can see edges of the ship are also sort of frosted in the same sort of multicolored
crystals.
You can see 10 people on this airship.
There is a great bearded man at the wheel and a whole bunch of people manning the two
harpoons on the prow of the ship on a couple of other hands on deck.
I would like to fly over top of them and I would like to basically reach out and try
to reach out my hands.
Shoot a 15 foot cone of flame down upon them so they need to make dexterity save.
That's a 10.
That fails.
16 damage.
You dive off of your jelly here.
As you are flapping through the air, flames erupt here from your hands striking down at
the whole front of the ship.
The people who are on the harpoons stumble back, swatting, swearing as their beards and
clothes catch fire.
As you watch, the flames seem to glow purple and green and blue in this sort of nebulous
gas and they seem to be burning very, very vigorously.
The whole front of the ship is engulfed in flames.
Can I ignite Barricade as a free action?
Because I just want to see what it does right now.
Of course.
As the flames erupt along the length of your sword, a trailing arc of flame is drawn in
the air by your passage.
The length of the blade and the thickness of the blade burning green and blue and purple
in your wake here as you go and where you pass with this flame, the fire seems to sort
of stay there suspended in the air for a good 10-15 seconds behind you as you fly.
What kind of a sparkler shoot is this?
I will just, to finish my turn, then I will bardic inspiration with Vyce.
How do you cheer me up?
Hmm.
Look at what I can do.
You can do it too.
Vyce, Vyce, he's our man.
He can't do it.
No one can.
Go Vyce.
That's awesome.
Thank you, Rolick.
Tix, you are up.
Can I see the person steering this airship?
You can see the people steering all three airships.
Rolick seems to have gotten that one in control.
How much movement speed does the jelly have?
The jelly has got 16 movement speed.
I would like to move my jelly, and I guess my friend, because he's on my jelly with me.
Battle is still on your jelly, yes.
I would like to move it straight, go half right now and see how far it gets.
Beautiful.
I would like to target this one.
Okay.
I would like to target the man who is controlling it, steering it.
Point my protest hand at him and go, stop.
And I need him to make a wisdom saving throw.
That's a critical fail.
He fails, he stops moving the ship.
So as you reach out with your finger here, and you just yelled at him, stop.
His muscles lock up.
His knuckles go white on the wheel as he is standing there.
And you can see, even from this distance, his eyes are spinning in his head as he's
looking all around.
But the terror that he's probably feeling right now is not showing on his face.
The airship continues to sort of drift, and it is now sliding out of alignment with its
friend.
And it looks like some of the people have begun to notice something is off.
That'll be it.
All right, Rowan.
I'm going to stick my hand out, and I'm going to drop a moon beam on the harpoon guys of
the ship closest to us.
That group looks harpoon-er.
I need anyone in that area to make a constitution saving throw.
It's not just waiting for your turn, don't it?
Wow, is this a new feeling for you?
Yeah, it kind of is.
It's not great.
All right, that's two failures and two successes.
Failures take full damage, the successes take half.
Seventeen.
All right, eighteen makes up nine for half.
That's radiant damage, by the way.
So the figures manning the harpoons in the front, but who are still padding out the never-ending
flames in their clothes and their beard, are suddenly enveloped in a shining beam coming
down from Rot Pena.
And its bright blue radiance envelops the whole front of the ship.
And as it does so, you see the skins of these figures begin to blacken, and they collapse
on the prow here as the whole front of it begins to smoke and shine.
And just before they pass by you faintly hear, do you want to gather for whiskeys and cigars
tonight?
Chances are very-
I think I'll get a squat after what happened last night.
And then my moon beam stays up.
It's a concentration.
Are you going to move your jelly?
No, I'll stay here for now.
Oh, your jelly continues to float like that.
The first ship with the captain who is now sort of frozen to his wheel is going to let
out two harpoon shots directed at the attacking jelly instead of sort of appearing in front
of them with the strange demons upon it.
They are coming directly for your jellies, guys.
And that's a 11 plus 6 is 17.
That's definitely a hit.
It takes a harpoon flies past you trailing a length of cord out over your shoulder.
And the other one strikes through your jellyfish as it sticks into it.
One of the crew looks up defiantly at these devils in the sky and he kicks the rope with
the weight off the side.
You see the cord go and your jelly gives a lurch and begins to flutter, flutter, flutter,
flutter.
It begins to descend rapidly as it is being pulled down by this weight.
It's going to pull you down 60 feet here as it is dragging you down.
The other airship which has so far had nothing happened to it, they are going to aim at the
other jellies here and here.
Bro, I haven't even fought yet.
I was gonna hit you, but now I'm really gonna.
I'm gonna hit him too.
The first one goes sailing past the jelly and strikes its friend which goes sailing
down out of the aurora alice.
Oh fuck, if it goes out of the, can I not see any more?
If you fall out of the aurora alice you would no longer be able to see normally.
The other one does strike your jelly down.
There's a boop, the thing is kicked over the side and you begin to descend very rapidly.
I had a plan!
It's going to pull you down 60 feet.
I had a plan!
Rolik, as you are flying through the sky a figure in a very familiar looking robes of
a manpower agent runs to the top and they hold up gauntlets with the star stone crystals
inside and they are going to pull their hand back as if they were going to throw a ball
or something and they hurl their hand forward and a sparkling flock of starlings of bright
yellow light go racing out towards you and they're going to snap, crackle, pop into your
flanks and your sides.
Eleven damage here as these things smack into you and the sort of swarm disperses.
From the flaming ship here, it's Prowelite, it's going to make a hard dip and a turn and
try to get out of the flames here as it begins to descend as fast as it can.
So it's going to go 100 feet down.
Vice, it feels weird.
You are up.
It does.
This is where I belong.
With the garbage.
I was waiting for something.
I would like to cut that rope.
I'm still looking at garbage by the way.
You're going to cut the rope?
Understandable.
For our audio listeners.
I'm going to cut the rope.
Vice is looking at Mondor.
How healthy is that shield?
They're the ship, the first ship nearest to us that we were guarding.
It's once descending below you now as it's kind of rocketing to try to get out of the
aura.
It's 40 feet below you.
So that ship's not making a back up.
Probably not for a while.
It's whole front is on fire and it's front crew are out there.
So we're doing pretty good on that one.
Just make sure they really get it.
Do I feel like I'm leveling out at 60 feet below?
No, you are rapidly falling.
There's a weight that's been kicked off.
The ship is pulling you down.
I am going to need from you.
I can't read that.
I'd say eight.
13.
No, 14.
14.
That's the nice part about a sight, which I used Arnata's.
I'm just going to gently like saw.
I guess saw it back and forth very gently.
With just the tip.
Just the tip.
The weight goes down into the world.
Look out below.
From somewhere.
Carried all the breeze.
And the mists below are all the worst here.
My cow returned.
You are leveled out at 60 feet.
I will move my jelly 60 feet toward the ruler.
And you're going to move up, I'm assuming.
If you got to land on a jelly, it might as well be mine.
I'm here to catch you.
I won't catch you.
The jelly roll.
So you are kind of almost right below the ruler at this point.
I'll stop there.
Mondoor, you're up.
You moved me 60 feet towards the back ship.
I'm going to move you up.
I don't know if they saw that.
The crew at the front here on the ship you're passing, I mean you shot the other one, but
the crew of the ship that you're actually physically passing right now is staring up
and as I said their faces are all sort of blanched white at these sky demons that are
attacking.
Yeah, weeeee.
You guys are terrifying right now.
And with that, Betel is going to turn to look at you, text me, and she'll go, hold on.
He sort of puts his fingers into his mouth and he whistles and the note rises and rises
and rises to this almost edge of hearing here and the bees pour out from his hat here and
they stream down and they go up underneath your jelly and working together you feel this
sort of sensation falling and cease.
You realize that you are rising up into the air on this column of bees, almost like a
rocket, sending back into the sky.
He knows what he's doing.
And as he begins to rise over you see him sort of take his hands out from behind his
back where they were and sort of cocks his neck to the side here and he is going to jump
across to the other ship here, sort of lands in a roll and as he stands up his fists are
going to fly out in a one, two, three, on one of the crew members kneecaps.
Which you just hear a sharp crackle from the first one as his knee twists the second punch
comes around and you can see the knee, the fragments of it spin around behind his leg
and as he collapses down his third fist comes up and it snaps his neck back and the man
falls over dead.
I sure hope he's dead because if he's not dead he's in a terrible amount of pain.
I sure hope he is.
Top of the round Rulik.
Cool.
Suffer.
Rulik's right arm is going to glow with a red energy as he fires out a beam at the man
at the helm on his ship.
17.
That's a hit.
I'll be damaged.
18.
Your blast of your beam strikes outwards and collides the guy with two arrows in him and
it carries him back.
His back snaps on the back baddister and he pulls a, I think it was a tix, where he spins
backwards in a cartwheel off the back of the airship and falls down into the depths.
I've snapped so many backs recently.
And your own.
Earlier yeah.
Yeah.
This is a life trick.
I'll land on the Sky Jelly.
Your flame kind of spins around in sort of like a spiral here as you land.
The trail is still following you.
I'll give Bardic Inspiration to you, my little aura.
What are you doing, you bitch?
No you about to fuck up a bitch.
Fair enough.
Tix, you are now up.
Your jelly is being lifted up on this condo piece.
The tentacles of the jelly are still swaying down far below it, feeling out through the
air.
What would you like me to do?
I would like to take out my Aurora Blade and I would like to expend three charges to peer
into it and target a group of creatures within a 30 foot cone to determine the best course
of action.
All creatures within this cone gain disadvantage on all attacks and saving throws until the
start of their next turn.
Basically it's like 50...
There's a 20 baby!
So they all have disadvantage on attacks and saving throws until the start of my next
turn.
Nice!
I don't know, I guess you just see them pull the blade up to their eyes and then kind of
look into it.
You guys can't see anything so they can see the next six seconds of combat, like what
they're going to do within those six seconds and they're really...
I forgot the word that I used.
Their smile is like really big because it's going to get bigger and bigger and they're
going to see the little rats.
I know exactly what you're going to do!
And they get disadvantage on all their checks and zeros.
Holy shit!
That's it!
We're growing.
Is there anybody left on that first ship?
But it's plummeting.
It is trying its hardest to get out of the Aurora where the fire is making it worse.
There are basically, wherever the fire has gone, the fire still is.
There is basically an arc describing the path of that flame through space as it is traveled
down out of the Aurora.
You know, my moonbeam is still up.
I'm going to move my moonbeam onto the other ship on the Harpoon guys and I need another
con save from all of them.
This moonbeam is like a spotlight.
Yeah, basically.
It's kind of like a spotlight.
A blue spotlight.
And anybody who gets hit by it gets whacked.
Two fails, a crit fail, and success.
Sev- uh, bit of a...
Yeah, 17 damage.
Your moonbeam comes down.
Those who failed or crit failed, you watch as their hair begins to sort of char and their
eyes begin to shrivel and they look up trying to shield themselves from the brilliant radiance
shining down from the moon high, high above.
But most unfortunately are unsuccessful as their skin sort of blackens and chars and they
collapse over.
You watch as parts of their arms slough off into dust.
So I'll move my jelly a little bit closer and maybe like right behind Rulikan's Isis.
Alright, you move your jelly along with you.
Our other airship, the folks on deck, drop what they're doing at the Harpoons.
They're going to pull out cutlasses and they are going to rush Betel on mass.
Their captain has been sort of forgotten here.
The ship is listing at about a 45 degree angle now.
So he is spinning the wheel as fast as he can to try to bring it back from that 45 degree.
The five folks at the front of the ship, these big burly men with their cutlasses drawn almost
like large hatchets, are going to swing them at Betel who is going to duck and weave catching
arms upon the backs of his hands.
He is going to snap his foot out in a high kick and sort of catch a descending blow upon
the wood of his sandal and he pins it down under his foot.
Our wizard on the other ship is going to release another swarm of these birds towards you Rulik.
It's going to be five and four and five again.
That's going to be 14 as they sort of strike into you.
He sort of looks around to his left and his right and he sees that the crew of the ship
who had been manning the other ballista for the Harpoon guns have all collapsed around
and you can see he reaches into his belt.
He's looking for a scroll bound in red satin.
He's holding it above his head as if he's getting ready to use it.
The other ship continues to descend out of the Aurora Borealis.
You guys watch as the flames are being fought hurriedly by its rather depleted crew.
They're trying to run away.
The one that was on fire.
That's fair.
That might not be good.
Vice.
I can do stuff.
So you said the wizard is preparing for spells on the ship, right?
Yes, he's pulling out a large spell scroll.
Shelma's like 10 feet.
I'm going to cast Wall of Fire down the center of the ship.
Oh shit.
So I think I've recovered from my hangover now.
The hat flipped.
That's how you know shit.
Yeah, yeah, the druidic skull goes backwards.
That's how you know he needs business is the hat goes backwards.
By the heavens and the earth.
Burn.
And then Wall of Fire is just going to shoot him from the center of the ship,
creatures within 10 feet of it, and start their turn in it.
And let's make it deck saving throw.
Alright.
Let's take 5d8.
He's going to make his deck saving throw.
5d8.
How does an 8 look?
It looks a bit bad.
I just need three more.
Let's get a lot of snogging then.
That works.
That doesn't work.
I didn't see it.
6 and 4 is 10 plus 6 is 16 plus 2 is 18 plus 2 is 20 plus 4 is 24.
Sure.
27.
I'm sorry.
I was just saying my bonus.
There's no way you would plus 3 and you're still a tech.
What level are you?
30.
Plus 6.
Alright, this flame erupts in the center of the ship and there is an enormous crack from
it as the ship begins to sort of shift.
You watch as the center of it bends.
Almost a 10 or 15 degree angle, which doesn't sound like much, but you have to remember
there's several tons of ship that just jumped by a fraction.
It is a little more flavor.
60 feet long, 20 feet high, one foot thick.
This massive streak of flames erupts around the manpower agent who's going to scream and
reflexively tug on the end of his scroll.
And there is a confused jump, a sort of sound like the color yellow, and a burst of red
and green butterfly elephants erupts and an explosion of cream from the front of the ship
in a wild magic surge.
I thought I was just really drunk because I was saying all those words.
I didn't think that that was actually what was happening.
You were drunk when you drank.
Oh, you did drink.
I drank a lot today.
The entire front of the ship disintegrates.
Hey yo.
MVP?
MVP!
Mondor, you are up.
Alright, well seeing that that ship's taken care of, I'm going to turn around.
Yeah, you might as well just like take a nap.
Funny thing, as I turn around, my face is going to turn around again.
Which face?
This time it's going to be an overly sad face.
Oh, like the theater mask?
Kinda, yeah.
And there's going to be like almost drawn on tears.
As I pop off my jelly, I seem to be closing up, I think, next to our friend here.
He is surrounded by these individuals.
Yep.
I'm going to give one a whack, hopefully on the back of the head with my mix.
30, 21.
That's a hit.
Roll me damage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11 damage.
You club one of these peasants over the back of their head and their eyes roll up on their
head and they thwap over from them.
You just hear a sort of, what?
They got Dave!
Not Dave!
And then I'm going to turn around.
The turn around face is going to turn again.
I'm going to do a really horrible smile and then I'm going to stab him.
He's going to get me!
I don't think that was as good.
That's a 10.
They jump back with all of their might to sort of dodge out of the way here as they go, stab
goes past.
I'm just going to kind of stare at him now with my unnatural smile.
He's off his jelly.
I don't really know what I can do.
He's throwing his cock out.
Betel looks at you and goes, thank you for your assistance.
I'm not taking this from you.
And he is going to step towards the figure who just jumped to get out of the way and
he is still sort of like off balance here and Betel is going to lean back and just side,
like snap out towards this guy, catches him in the side and kicks him off the edge of
the ship.
Is it bad that I wish it was me a little bit?
Puro wedding on his other foot.
He is going to bring his elbow down on the last remaining guy.
God.
All right.
That kind of rolled up onto the thing.
And his elbow is going to snap down on top of the other guy's bridge of his nose and
as he staggers back clutching at it.
His nose?
Yeah, his foot is going to step out, snap into his ankle and then his arm is going to
come back up around, snap his head back.
He has to be a monk.
Snapping.
He's probably a multi-class.
I'm so turned on right now.
They had come back to bed.
I can't, I'm breaking kneecaps.
God, that's so hot.
I know.
That's why I do it.
That's going in the shorts reel.
Good as it should.
Rolik, you are up top of the round.
He is so fucking hot.
There is only one guy left and he is captaining this ship.
Right, this one's toast.
That one's toast.
Yeah, that one's entirely over there.
How fucking the jelly move?
60 feet.
Oh, cool.
I mean, I'd like to get closer, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Actually, there's a taxi fee for getting on my jelly.
Do you have the coin?
A spit in your face.
Rolik, you begin to move your jelly forward towards the ship and as you do, this tentacles
will sort of reach out and begin to taste and feel the deployment of the ship as you get
closer.
Maybe I won't have to do anything.
What would you like to do?
You still have movement speed.
Oh, okay, cool.
Where's the dude at?
He's right here.
Cool.
He's at the back of the ship at the wheel.
I'd like to fly towards him and just take a varricant and just go whoosh.
Go ahead and roll me the hit as you sort of jump off your jelly and tap.
Oh, nat 20.
Yay!
Roll me double damage.
Yay!
If you're a lit varricant here.
26.
You spin as you fly down.
I want to do an Obi-Wan on Darth Maul just like straight at the torso.
This guy sees you coming.
He's got one hand on his wheel and he's fumbling for his cutlass and he brings it up to bring
it down on your head and as he draws it up, you swish past and he's standing there as
you were just standing next to him with your wings out, his trail of flame seems to disappear
against him and appear on the other side and he sort of blinks and as he collapses over
there is a spurt of blood from the long slash that just went right through his open chest.
You guys are out of initiative.
Let's go.
From high up above you, you guys see the Skywhales sort of undulating their fins as the D&D
descend up, up back into the depths of the sky high above you where the world seems to
turn black as his ears are watching them disappear up out of the aurora.
The other jellies that you aren't riding begin to pulse and flash with colors you red, blue,
and white as they all rise up around you, this massive swarm of them ascending higher
and higher into the sky.
The only jellies that do not are sort of the ones that you guys are on which are kind of
floating up a little bit higher each for the pulse of their bodies but with you on them
they're sort of remaining where they are.
I'm going to miss you in this when we go back down.
It's only a dark place.
It's going to be a dark place.
Can you just say goodbye?
Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, totally forgot, totally forgot.
We got the reason we're here to save the whales.
Alright, we should probably get off while we go.
It's good because these guys want to return home.
I feel like I'm just going to sit here and ask them the fact that I can see.
Yeah, we didn't burn one airship, somehow.
Let's take it.
I'm already on it, so.
As you guys climb off your jellies and onto the airship, the remaining jellies begin to
ascend away.
Goodbye, brothers.
And so, the little beetle with the sort of whistle from his lips cuts the rope holding
the last jellied fit down and it begins to sort of faster to try to catch up with the
rest of them.
And his bees swarm back up into his hat and he sort of looks at you guys and he smiles
on his face and just goes, I think we have a limb in the day?
Yeah.
Thank you very much for all of your help, I believe.
That's where we're going to end things off for this session.
So thank you guys all so much for coming.
Hell yeah.
That was a pretty good session.
I hope you had fun.
Thank you all so much for listening.
Remember to stick around after the credits for the player notes.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Now you know when to stop.
Well, I still have to do the rest of the thing here.
Oh.
Thank you for all of our wonderful subscribers on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.
You can find us there at thetelehohoes.
Our theme was composed by Deceptive Reality.
You can find him on Spotify.
Our background music comes from Tabletop Audio.
You can find him in the description down below.
Rulik does our amazing character art.
This episode was edited by me, the four IDM.
Thank you all for listening.
Yo, go to our Patreon, Sluts4Money.
Sluts4Money.
Greg, one of our wonderful reviews today.
We got a couple questions today.
We got one from BagelBiscuit27.
They asked, have any of us ever been in a relationship?
There have been multiple stans going on all the time.
One night, two night, maybe multiple nights.
But we are all planning orgies later on with our characters.
Facts.
Fromper also asked, have we ever seen a Mimic?
To my knowledge, we have not.
But I imagine sometime when we go to a bar, the eggs will just turn into a Mimic.
So that'll be exciting.
And CmeDoMe asked, property damage.
Approximately how much is there?
Um, do you imagine the United States GDP debt?
We're there.
We've surpassed it.
Session 37 notes.
Mondor is kind of a freak.
Well, like, somehow Goblinwick?
Ha ha, nerd.
Goblinwick?
Did we ever get an explanation of what that actually meant?
I don't think so.
No?
VICE gets freaky in the stables, and not the good kind of freaky.
Yeah, no, the kind of freaky.
Guards don't take IOUs.
See, we are good people.
We don't bribe.
Bro.
Yup, that's why we're good people.
To remember or not to remember?
That is the question.
The answer is yes.
Most have midlife crisis.
The answer is also yes.
Fuck you, you mommy-less daddy-less bitch.
Damn.
Whoa.
Rowan is glowing.
Oh, yeah.
Post-sex glow.
Yeah, yeah.
Mondor, no thoughts, head empty.
All the time.
I have no thoughts.
This is why I don't take you places.
Yeah, because I was just carving things out the frigging bar.
Suck it, I'm trying.
Yeah.
Rolik is still having a midlife crisis.
That's why you're eating your bagel.
Yeah.
And it's getting extensential.
It's getting extensential.
Vice is a mantar.
Oh my god, the four hoos.
The four is not yet hoos.
Four hoos.
Rolik cosplays as a tree for Vice.
Why do you cosplay as a tree?
What is wrong?
Oh my god.
I don't recall that.
I'll let you reciprocate with that.
Out of everyone, you grab the blonde.
I see it.
Vice goes flying.
Yeah.
Get that whore tongue back in there.
I don't remember that happening.
Kieran is pissed.
I do remember that, I think.
N-O-P-E.
Nope.
I love being penetrated.
The one straight person here.
I don't think we said that during the session.
That seems like an after note thought.
Fuck you.
I'm going to violate you later.
What the hell?
What?
Welcome to Tentacles Anonymous.
I do not remember that happening.
Matt's be hard.
I mean, yeah, that was fast.
I fired and I missed.
And I missed both times.
Good one.
Mondor is a titan shifter.
Vice is a bad bitch.
Only sometimes.
Squishy like a booba.
Like a booba?
Sky jellyfish?
Sky jellyfish.
Vice is an idiot.
The whole thing is just disparaging Vice.
Yeah, we really shat on Vice last time.
Sorry, buddy.
Vice's vulnerable went on over.
Oh yeah, I remember that.
I don't know.
You turned to me and went, listen, man, you can't do that.
I'm like, since we're vulnerable right now, you can't do that.
You're like, hogging it out.
No, that was the promen.
Oh yeah, we had our hunts over.
Yeah, but then you came over to me and said that.
Oh, I think I pulled you aside.
Yeah, you did.
What the fuck was that about?
Wicked cock.
What?
Who has that?
Oh.
Petal.
Yeah, petal.
Yeah, for sure.
It was petal.
Did you part your grasses, Grandma?
No, remember, Betal was parting the grasses?
And I asked, what was it, Ethel?
Is that her name?
Beverly.
Oh my god, yeah, Beverly.
I forgot, I forgot.
Bye bye, horny Grandma.
Good old Bev.
Righto, boss.
Don't eat the beans.
Why would we eat the beans?
Mondor's notes could gain.
It's salt.
Ew, I remember that.
How he said it's salt.
I remember that.
I went to go snippet and I sniffed salt.
I was just like, oh, Jesus Christ, it's salt.
Sky jellyfish.
Again?
Oh yeah, we can actually saw them this time.
Oh yeah.
Let me gargle those balls.
What balls?
That's it.
That's the end of the notes.
There is nothing else.
Thank you all so much for listening.
Those of you who made it, that's the end.
Was that us being horny for Betal?
I guess so, damn.
Oh yeah.
By us, you two.
I don't know, we'll give you a biscuit.
You work too.
Take care everybody, we'll see you next time.
Bye bye.
Bye.