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May the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight,

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O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.

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Before I officially begin the sermon, I think a prelude is in order. A lot of what I'm about

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to say is not only influenced by, of course, the gospel lesson for this morning, but also

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by a book I've started reading. And I can't give the proper name from the pulpit, but

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the PG version of it is called The Subtle Art of Not Caring So Much. So it's by Mark

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Manson. If you're interested, Google it. Although I'm not all the way through it yet, I do

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recommend at least taking a look at it. So you have some context here, and I'm going

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to open up with a quote from the book, but it was attributed to someone else. Philosopher

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Alan Watts talks about the backwards law, the backwards law. The backwards law says

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that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as

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pursuing something better only reinforces that you lack it in the first place. For example,

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today, the more popular you try to become, the more you're going to worry about what

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people think about you. And the more you worry about what people think about you, just makes

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you feel less popular and less unlikeable. The backwards law. In today's lesson, Jesus

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of Nazareth talks about the backwards law of the gospel, or the gospel paradox. Those

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who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for Jesus'

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sake will save it. Those who want to save their life will become self-centered and self-consumed,

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preoccupied with their own needs, failing to see the needs of others, therefore cutting

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off relationship with others, relationships that are necessary for life. Those who lose

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their life for Jesus aren't as concerned for their own needs because, A, they realize

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all of what they really need is found in Jesus, so that the gift of this is they are freed

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to become lost or found in serving the needs of another. Simply put, their own needs, the

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backwards law of the gospel says our own needs are met by serving the needs of others. The

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truth of the backwards law of the gospel is actually supported by psychology. A number

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of studies prove that serving the needs of another improves one's mental health, while

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constantly seeking validation from others makes one feel more anxious and more depressed.

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The temptation here is to try harder to be less selfish. Try harder to be more thoughtful,

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more attentive to the needs of another. The temptation is to try harder to be a better

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person. But remember the backwards law. The harder you try to be a better person, the

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harder you try to be less selfish, the more you reinforce the idea that you are selfish,

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that you aren't that good of a person. Therefore, you start to feel worse about yourself and

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spiral back into anxiety and depression. In reality, this whole book that we're talking

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about, even what Jesus is talking about, is we should stop trying so dang hard. We should

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stop caring so much. And this is what I mean. We should stop trying so hard to get people

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to like us. We should stop caring so much about what people think about us. So the art,

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the subtle art of not caring so much about what people think of us comes with a spiritual

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and emotional maturity, one that I'm still very early on in. As St. Paul says, this happens

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when we grow into the full stature of Christ. When we try too hard or care too much about

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what people think about us, we are focused on the self. We are focused on what we believe

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we lack. This causes us either to A, hide away from the world, or B, overcompensate,

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neither of which represent our true identity. Again, this leads to depression and anxiety.

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And I know I don't have to tell you that social media only amplifies this vicious cycle by

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a million billion. So where do we get our ultimate self-worth? If it's not from the

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likes on our social media page, if it's not from a participation trophy, if it's not from

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an A plus on our last paper, if it's not from the latest performance review, if it's not

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from the clothes we wear or the car we drive, where do we know our inherent worth or value?

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Well, from an earthly point of view, our own sense of self-worth and value is tied to our

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parents. They are the first God-like people in our life. For better and for worse, the

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first people we seek validation from are mom or dad or both. Our parents are supposed to

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be the first ones to love us and care about us. Our parents are supposed to be the ones

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to show us that we are inherently loved and valued as people made in God's image, even

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and especially when we mess up. And I'm sure I'm not the only one in this room who just

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felt a stab of guilt. So before you try harder to become a better parent, remember the backwards

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law. Trying harder to become a better parent will remind you that you don't think you're

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a good parent, which leads you to seeking, which leads to a lot of things, primarily

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seeking validation from the wrong places. Most of all, seeking validation from your

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own children. This doesn't mean we can't receive validation, but to seek it is another

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story. While we seek validation from our children, when we seek validation from our children,

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or anyone for that matter, we become blind to their needs and desires. It's like a dog

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barking up a tree at a squirrel. It's not going to come down, right? We get blind to

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their needs, their desires, their wants, and because all of us parents still have that

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inner child in us who carries the wounds from our own parents, we will sometimes seek from

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our children what our parents failed to give. You with me? For this reason, we need a source

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greater than our parents to give us our ultimate value and worth. I believe this is what Jesus

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means when he says, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Ultimately,

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the way of God provides more wisdom, more life than even the way of our parents. That

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doesn't mean we shouldn't, that we should ignore our parents, it just means to remember

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that our parents are far from perfect. Jesus goes on to say, if you love your son or daughter

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more than me, you are not worthy of me. In the same vein, we parents need the grace to

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help our children know that there is something more important than our word. Even parents

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themselves must have the humility to know that they can't give their children everything

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they need. Parents need help too. A few weeks ago at Camp McDowell, a fifth grader asked

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me if I loved God more than I loved my children. No idea where they got this. I paused. Before

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I could answer, the fifth grader said, quoted this verse from the Bible. And I simply replied,

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you're right. So if the conversation had continued, I would have said something like, I think

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what Jesus means is that God's truth is greater than our children's wants. God's truth is

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greater than our children's wants. God is in charge, not our children. As our gospel

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lesson suggests, proclaiming the truth of the backwards law of the gospel will often

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create derision and division in the household. If we parents love our children as much as

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we say we do, then we must be willing to bear the cost of telling the truth. Even if telling

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the truth puts us at odds with our children or in what they want. And sometimes telling

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the truth to our children or anyone in our lives can cause rifts and division. As much

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as we humans would like to think otherwise, these divisions, these rifts are actually

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making room for God to work in our lives. These division reminds us that we can't control

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how others feel about us. Especially, yes, yes, I said it. These rifts make space for

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individuals to grow emotionally and spiritually through suffering. These rifts make it possible

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for relationships to be renewed and strengthened with a new set of promises, a new set of expectations

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built on the mercy and grace of God. Yes, we are taking a great risk by telling the

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truth. Yes, the consequences for telling, there are consequences for telling the truth.

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Like Jesus said last week, we risk being hated and persecuted even by our own family. We

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risk losing friends or partners. We risk losing touch with our family. We might even risk

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our jobs. But Jesus is trying to show us that there is actually a greater risk. And that

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greater risk is doing nothing. If we do nothing, then we can't die to a life that is killing

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us. And if we don't die to a life that is killing us, then how can we know and allow

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God to raise us to a life that can save us? If we care too much about what others think

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about us, then we are more likely going to do nothing, paralyzed by fear, stuck. But

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the good news of the kingdom tells us, gives us the grace and courage to take these risks,

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to trust the backwards law of the gospel. Because the good news of the kingdom promises

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that derision and division is not the end of the story. In fact, derision and division

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are the necessary beginning to a story that leads to eternal life, to a life we all seek,

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a life where our true value and our true worth is revealed when we honor and celebrate the

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true value and worth of the other. The human response to try harder is a product

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of our own thought that our work defines who we are. There's even a song we sing about

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that, may the work that I've done speak for me. But this human desire is at odds with

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the truth of the gospel, a truth that says we cannot earn God's love. We are loved right

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where we are before we lift a finger. So does this mean we don't have to love and serve

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the Lord? By no means. That God loves us any way we can eat, drink and be merry? Well,

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in a way, yes. You don't have to earn God's love. This is the backwards law of the gospel.

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God's love for us never changes. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any

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more. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any less. However, I don't believe

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that God came to free us from responsibility, but as someone else said, God came to free

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us for responsibility, responsibility for those around us, to take care of the needs

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of the other, of the vulnerable, the poor, the outcasts, without fear of what might happen

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to us or be said about us. The work that God gives us to do in the way of the cross, feeding

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the hungry, clothing the naked, seeking the outcasts, visiting the prisoner, caring for

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the widow and orphan and outcast, helps us live into the truth of the identity that we

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already have in Christ, a truth that says that God loves us so much that there is nowhere

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that our God wouldn't go to find us, care for us, and love us, and save us through Jesus

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Christ our Lord. Amen.