May the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight,
O Lord, our strength and our redeemer. Amen.
Before I officially begin the sermon, I think a prelude is in order. A lot of what I'm about
to say is not only influenced by, of course, the gospel lesson for this morning, but also
by a book I've started reading. And I can't give the proper name from the pulpit, but
the PG version of it is called The Subtle Art of Not Caring So Much. So it's by Mark
Manson. If you're interested, Google it. Although I'm not all the way through it yet, I do
recommend at least taking a look at it. So you have some context here, and I'm going
to open up with a quote from the book, but it was attributed to someone else. Philosopher
Alan Watts talks about the backwards law, the backwards law. The backwards law says
that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as
pursuing something better only reinforces that you lack it in the first place. For example,
today, the more popular you try to become, the more you're going to worry about what
people think about you. And the more you worry about what people think about you, just makes
you feel less popular and less unlikeable. The backwards law. In today's lesson, Jesus
of Nazareth talks about the backwards law of the gospel, or the gospel paradox. Those
who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for Jesus'
sake will save it. Those who want to save their life will become self-centered and self-consumed,
preoccupied with their own needs, failing to see the needs of others, therefore cutting
off relationship with others, relationships that are necessary for life. Those who lose
their life for Jesus aren't as concerned for their own needs because, A, they realize
all of what they really need is found in Jesus, so that the gift of this is they are freed
to become lost or found in serving the needs of another. Simply put, their own needs, the
backwards law of the gospel says our own needs are met by serving the needs of others. The
truth of the backwards law of the gospel is actually supported by psychology. A number
of studies prove that serving the needs of another improves one's mental health, while
constantly seeking validation from others makes one feel more anxious and more depressed.
The temptation here is to try harder to be less selfish. Try harder to be more thoughtful,
more attentive to the needs of another. The temptation is to try harder to be a better
person. But remember the backwards law. The harder you try to be a better person, the
harder you try to be less selfish, the more you reinforce the idea that you are selfish,
that you aren't that good of a person. Therefore, you start to feel worse about yourself and
spiral back into anxiety and depression. In reality, this whole book that we're talking
about, even what Jesus is talking about, is we should stop trying so dang hard. We should
stop caring so much. And this is what I mean. We should stop trying so hard to get people
to like us. We should stop caring so much about what people think about us. So the art,
the subtle art of not caring so much about what people think of us comes with a spiritual
and emotional maturity, one that I'm still very early on in. As St. Paul says, this happens
when we grow into the full stature of Christ. When we try too hard or care too much about
what people think about us, we are focused on the self. We are focused on what we believe
we lack. This causes us either to A, hide away from the world, or B, overcompensate,
neither of which represent our true identity. Again, this leads to depression and anxiety.
And I know I don't have to tell you that social media only amplifies this vicious cycle by
a million billion. So where do we get our ultimate self-worth? If it's not from the
likes on our social media page, if it's not from a participation trophy, if it's not from
an A plus on our last paper, if it's not from the latest performance review, if it's not
from the clothes we wear or the car we drive, where do we know our inherent worth or value?
Well, from an earthly point of view, our own sense of self-worth and value is tied to our
parents. They are the first God-like people in our life. For better and for worse, the
first people we seek validation from are mom or dad or both. Our parents are supposed to
be the first ones to love us and care about us. Our parents are supposed to be the ones
to show us that we are inherently loved and valued as people made in God's image, even
and especially when we mess up. And I'm sure I'm not the only one in this room who just
felt a stab of guilt. So before you try harder to become a better parent, remember the backwards
law. Trying harder to become a better parent will remind you that you don't think you're
a good parent, which leads you to seeking, which leads to a lot of things, primarily
seeking validation from the wrong places. Most of all, seeking validation from your
own children. This doesn't mean we can't receive validation, but to seek it is another
story. While we seek validation from our children, when we seek validation from our children,
or anyone for that matter, we become blind to their needs and desires. It's like a dog
barking up a tree at a squirrel. It's not going to come down, right? We get blind to
their needs, their desires, their wants, and because all of us parents still have that
inner child in us who carries the wounds from our own parents, we will sometimes seek from
our children what our parents failed to give. You with me? For this reason, we need a source
greater than our parents to give us our ultimate value and worth. I believe this is what Jesus
means when he says, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Ultimately,
the way of God provides more wisdom, more life than even the way of our parents. That
doesn't mean we shouldn't, that we should ignore our parents, it just means to remember
that our parents are far from perfect. Jesus goes on to say, if you love your son or daughter
more than me, you are not worthy of me. In the same vein, we parents need the grace to
help our children know that there is something more important than our word. Even parents
themselves must have the humility to know that they can't give their children everything
they need. Parents need help too. A few weeks ago at Camp McDowell, a fifth grader asked
me if I loved God more than I loved my children. No idea where they got this. I paused. Before
I could answer, the fifth grader said, quoted this verse from the Bible. And I simply replied,
you're right. So if the conversation had continued, I would have said something like, I think
what Jesus means is that God's truth is greater than our children's wants. God's truth is
greater than our children's wants. God is in charge, not our children. As our gospel
lesson suggests, proclaiming the truth of the backwards law of the gospel will often
create derision and division in the household. If we parents love our children as much as
we say we do, then we must be willing to bear the cost of telling the truth. Even if telling
the truth puts us at odds with our children or in what they want. And sometimes telling
the truth to our children or anyone in our lives can cause rifts and division. As much
as we humans would like to think otherwise, these divisions, these rifts are actually
making room for God to work in our lives. These division reminds us that we can't control
how others feel about us. Especially, yes, yes, I said it. These rifts make space for
individuals to grow emotionally and spiritually through suffering. These rifts make it possible
for relationships to be renewed and strengthened with a new set of promises, a new set of expectations
built on the mercy and grace of God. Yes, we are taking a great risk by telling the
truth. Yes, the consequences for telling, there are consequences for telling the truth.
Like Jesus said last week, we risk being hated and persecuted even by our own family. We
risk losing friends or partners. We risk losing touch with our family. We might even risk
our jobs. But Jesus is trying to show us that there is actually a greater risk. And that
greater risk is doing nothing. If we do nothing, then we can't die to a life that is killing
us. And if we don't die to a life that is killing us, then how can we know and allow
God to raise us to a life that can save us? If we care too much about what others think
about us, then we are more likely going to do nothing, paralyzed by fear, stuck. But
the good news of the kingdom tells us, gives us the grace and courage to take these risks,
to trust the backwards law of the gospel. Because the good news of the kingdom promises
that derision and division is not the end of the story. In fact, derision and division
are the necessary beginning to a story that leads to eternal life, to a life we all seek,
a life where our true value and our true worth is revealed when we honor and celebrate the
true value and worth of the other. The human response to try harder is a product
of our own thought that our work defines who we are. There's even a song we sing about
that, may the work that I've done speak for me. But this human desire is at odds with
the truth of the gospel, a truth that says we cannot earn God's love. We are loved right
where we are before we lift a finger. So does this mean we don't have to love and serve
the Lord? By no means. That God loves us any way we can eat, drink and be merry? Well,
in a way, yes. You don't have to earn God's love. This is the backwards law of the gospel.
God's love for us never changes. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any
more. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any less. However, I don't believe
that God came to free us from responsibility, but as someone else said, God came to free
us for responsibility, responsibility for those around us, to take care of the needs
of the other, of the vulnerable, the poor, the outcasts, without fear of what might happen
to us or be said about us. The work that God gives us to do in the way of the cross, feeding
the hungry, clothing the naked, seeking the outcasts, visiting the prisoner, caring for
the widow and orphan and outcast, helps us live into the truth of the identity that we
already have in Christ, a truth that says that God loves us so much that there is nowhere
that our God wouldn't go to find us, care for us, and love us, and save us through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.