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Oh hello weary wanderer, Tis I, Lord Podcast.

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Am I but a figment of your wildest dreams?

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Is your nervous system lighting up with the sound of my godly voice?

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Do my vocal cords create a desire for you to make sweet, sweet love with me?

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I only have ears for your sweet, sweet podcast, my dear.

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You say you do not have a podcast which I can adore?

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Blast it!

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You shall make it your life's work to listen to Let's Start a Podcast.

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Yearn for the life lessons that only Elijah, a skilled podcast professional, may bestow

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upon you with his decades of wisdom.

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What's that you say?

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You do not have the confidence to press record?

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Nay, I say, nay.

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Elijah, you must teach this weary wanderer how to start a podcast.

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Give them every tool and skill which they can yearn for.

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Do it now, I say.

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Teach them, Elijah.

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Teach them so they may confidently say, Let's Start a Podcast.

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Begone, I say.

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I must warm up my godly voice for my guest appearance.

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Let's start a podcast.

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No, I didn't like that.

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Let's start a podcast?

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Wilhelmina, darling, it's time for my bath, my dear.

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Bring the scented soap, the one that smells like glorious confidence and victory.