WEBVTT 00:00:03.370 --> 00:00:05.889 Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Trinity 00:00:05.889 --> 00:00:08.710 Sermons. This week we are continuing our teaching 00:00:08.710 --> 00:00:11.310 series called Spring Cleaning, where we're looking 00:00:11.310 --> 00:00:13.890 at some of the bad habits in our life that we 00:00:13.890 --> 00:00:16.289 need to get rid of in order to make more space 00:00:16.289 --> 00:00:19.469 for good things to grow. And this week Rob's 00:00:19.469 --> 00:00:22.269 going to talk to us all about complaining. You 00:00:22.269 --> 00:00:25.429 know, those negative Nellies, those grumpy Gusses, 00:00:25.429 --> 00:00:28.589 those people who just always seem to have something. 00:00:29.079 --> 00:00:31.739 to complain about. But maybe those people are 00:00:31.739 --> 00:00:34.219 us. And if they are, what should we do about 00:00:34.219 --> 00:00:41.340 it? Today's reading is from Philippians chapter 00:00:41.340 --> 00:00:48.659 2, verses 12 to 16. Therefore, my friends, as 00:00:48.659 --> 00:00:52.280 you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, 00:00:52.520 --> 00:00:56.939 but now much more in my absence, continue to 00:00:56.939 --> 00:01:00.539 work out your salvation with fear and trembling. 00:01:00.799 --> 00:01:06.420 For it is God who works in you to will and to 00:01:06.420 --> 00:01:10.569 act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Do 00:01:10.569 --> 00:01:14.010 everything without grumbling or arguing so that 00:01:14.010 --> 00:01:17.609 you may become blameless and pure. Children of 00:01:17.609 --> 00:01:20.629 God, without fault in a warped and a crooked 00:01:20.629 --> 00:01:24.709 generation. Then you will shine among them like 00:01:24.709 --> 00:01:29.049 stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word 00:01:29.049 --> 00:01:32.560 of life. The word of the Lord. You might remember 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:35.280 that last week we got started by talking about 00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:39.280 how to clear out comparing and how when we compare 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:41.159 ourselves to others it does all sorts of bad 00:01:41.159 --> 00:01:45.099 things inside of us. And today a part of our 00:01:45.099 --> 00:01:49.140 spiritual tidy up is to conquer complaining, 00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:52.459 conquer complaining. We are however going to 00:01:52.459 --> 00:01:56.000 need more than just a janitor to do this work 00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:59.120 and we're going to need God's help. So that's 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:02.640 why every week when we start this kind of interior 00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:06.459 cleanup, we want to pray. And so what we're going 00:02:06.459 --> 00:02:09.060 to be praying, just like last week, is this section 00:02:09.060 --> 00:02:13.840 of Psalm 139. And this, again, is just to be 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:16.699 a reminder to us that the goal of this teaching 00:02:16.699 --> 00:02:19.879 series is not to try harder or to kind of clean 00:02:19.879 --> 00:02:22.340 up your own life. That's not what it's about. 00:02:22.419 --> 00:02:25.719 This is work that God needs to do in us. And 00:02:25.719 --> 00:02:30.719 so if you would. Once again, would you pray with 00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:36.840 me? Search me, God, and know my heart. Test me 00:02:36.840 --> 00:02:41.740 and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is 00:02:41.740 --> 00:02:46.699 any offensive way in me and lead me in the way 00:02:46.699 --> 00:02:52.319 everlasting. Amen. Well, now, our janitor friend 00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:56.400 over here was quite humorous, but actually, complaining 00:02:56.400 --> 00:03:01.120 is no laughing matter. Complaining makes us miserable. 00:03:01.500 --> 00:03:05.259 Complaining makes everyone around us miserable. 00:03:05.419 --> 00:03:07.800 And it's a real hard habit to break. I tried 00:03:07.800 --> 00:03:09.719 to do a little bit of a research on complaining 00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:12.800 this week. And the research says that on average, 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:14.960 a person will complain something like 15 to 30 00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:18.699 times a day, which is like a couple times, few 00:03:18.699 --> 00:03:23.319 times for every waking hour that we are awake. 00:03:23.539 --> 00:03:26.270 And partly it's because We've been conditioned 00:03:26.270 --> 00:03:29.009 this way. You don't go home and turn on the news 00:03:29.009 --> 00:03:30.969 and hear, look at all the wonderful things going 00:03:30.969 --> 00:03:32.930 on in the world. You go home and you turn on 00:03:32.930 --> 00:03:35.250 the news and it's everything that's broken. It's 00:03:35.250 --> 00:03:36.990 everything that's wrong. It's everything that 00:03:36.990 --> 00:03:39.789 we should be worrying about. So there's this 00:03:39.789 --> 00:03:42.509 whole environment around us of complaining. The 00:03:42.509 --> 00:03:44.490 thing about complaining, though, is it actually 00:03:44.490 --> 00:03:49.189 rewires your brain. So every time you complain, 00:03:49.710 --> 00:03:52.330 you're actually training your neural pathways. 00:03:52.449 --> 00:03:56.560 You're training your brain. to complain, which 00:03:56.560 --> 00:04:00.780 means the more you complain, the more you complain. 00:04:01.099 --> 00:04:04.900 And the same is true if you hang around a complainer, 00:04:04.919 --> 00:04:08.479 soon you'll be complaining more too. It's quite 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:11.620 contagious. It gets worse though, because complaining 00:04:11.620 --> 00:04:16.459 actually shrinks your brain. That makes you dumber. 00:04:16.899 --> 00:04:19.620 And there's research that shows that if you're 00:04:19.620 --> 00:04:22.399 exposed to 30 minutes of complaining a day, or 00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:24.240 if you yourself are complaining for 30 minutes 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:27.300 a day, it actually does physical damage to the 00:04:27.300 --> 00:04:30.439 hippocampus part of your brain, deep inside your 00:04:30.439 --> 00:04:33.860 brain. It can even physically shrink it. And 00:04:33.860 --> 00:04:36.069 on top of that, of course, complaining... It 00:04:36.069 --> 00:04:38.290 affects your health because when you complain 00:04:38.290 --> 00:04:41.810 a lot, it releases cortisol into your bloodstream, 00:04:41.949 --> 00:04:44.269 and that can increase, you know, heart disease 00:04:44.269 --> 00:04:46.649 and weaken your immune system. And there's actually 00:04:46.649 --> 00:04:48.430 really good evidence to suggest that people who 00:04:48.430 --> 00:04:50.850 are optimists live longer than people who are 00:04:50.850 --> 00:04:53.329 pessimists and constantly complaining. And what 00:04:53.329 --> 00:04:55.490 do we complain about? Well, we complain about 00:04:55.490 --> 00:04:57.629 the weather. You know, it's too hot, it's too 00:04:57.629 --> 00:04:59.850 cold. We complain about other drivers. Everybody's 00:04:59.850 --> 00:05:02.970 a bad driver except us. We complain about waiting, 00:05:03.089 --> 00:05:05.589 whether it's in line, whether it's on hold. whether 00:05:05.589 --> 00:05:08.069 it's at the traffic light. We complain about 00:05:08.069 --> 00:05:11.550 all the aches and pains in our lives. Oh, my 00:05:11.550 --> 00:05:14.970 trichine, or oh, my bunions are acting up today, 00:05:15.089 --> 00:05:18.449 whatever. Or we always complain about the generations, 00:05:18.709 --> 00:05:21.490 right? Oh, kids these days, these kids, when 00:05:21.490 --> 00:05:24.329 will they learn? Complain about the cost of things, 00:05:24.430 --> 00:05:28.610 gas, rent, groceries, everything. And we love 00:05:28.610 --> 00:05:31.089 to complain about customer service. Oh, where 00:05:31.089 --> 00:05:34.139 is my food? We ordered... 20 minutes ago and 00:05:34.139 --> 00:05:38.839 the appetizers aren't even here yet. So that's 00:05:38.839 --> 00:05:41.180 what the kind of research and science tells us 00:05:41.180 --> 00:05:43.459 about complaining. But what does the Bible tell 00:05:43.459 --> 00:05:46.800 us about complaining? Well, Philippians 2, which 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:49.819 Beulah just read for us, we read, do everything 00:05:49.819 --> 00:05:53.560 without grumbling or arguing so that you may 00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:56.040 be blameless and pure, children of God without 00:05:56.040 --> 00:06:01.350 fault in a warped and crooked generation. Now, 00:06:01.389 --> 00:06:04.029 the Greek word there for grumbling could also 00:06:04.029 --> 00:06:08.810 be translated complaining. And it is an onomatopoetic 00:06:08.810 --> 00:06:11.730 word, which means it's a word that actually sounds 00:06:11.730 --> 00:06:16.170 like what it means. So in Greek, that word grumbling 00:06:16.170 --> 00:06:23.000 is gungusmos. Gongusmos, gongusmos. So grouching, 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:27.660 gongusmos, grumbling, groaning, right? Griping, 00:06:27.740 --> 00:06:35.060 gongusmos, right? Do you know a gongusmos person? 00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:39.620 Do you know a complainer? If you don't, let me 00:06:39.620 --> 00:06:42.939 introduce you to some of the most famous complainers 00:06:42.939 --> 00:06:45.120 out there. Let me introduce you. This first person 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:50.240 I want you to meet is Wilma the Winer. Wilma 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:52.540 the Winer. Now, her sister you may have met. 00:06:52.600 --> 00:06:54.500 If you haven't met Wilma, her sister's name is 00:06:54.500 --> 00:06:58.699 Negative Nelly. And actually, her best friend 00:06:58.699 --> 00:07:05.100 is Karen. Wilma wakes up every single day whining, 00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:07.060 and that's what whiners do. As the saying goes, 00:07:07.139 --> 00:07:11.300 they don't rise and shine, they rise and whine. 00:07:11.480 --> 00:07:16.480 And Wilma's famous phrase is, this sucks, right? 00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:20.560 Everything sucks, right? If you're stuck in traffic, 00:07:20.680 --> 00:07:22.899 this sucks. If your food takes too long, this 00:07:22.899 --> 00:07:26.680 sucks. If the Wi -Fi goes down, this sucks. This 00:07:26.680 --> 00:07:29.660 sucks. Everything sucks. I think Wilma would 00:07:29.660 --> 00:07:33.199 have fit. right in with the people of Israel 00:07:33.199 --> 00:07:35.819 as they wandered through the wilderness. Because 00:07:35.819 --> 00:07:38.060 right after God liberates them from slavery, 00:07:38.300 --> 00:07:40.000 right after they go through the Red Sea, as they're 00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:42.839 on their way to the promised land, man, oh man, 00:07:43.100 --> 00:07:47.720 do they whine. Oh, if only we had died by the 00:07:47.720 --> 00:07:50.399 Lord's hand in Egypt. Well, there we had lamb 00:07:50.399 --> 00:07:54.540 stew and we ate all the food we wanted. But here 00:07:54.540 --> 00:07:57.519 the food sucks. Here the weather sucks. Here 00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:01.540 this manna, it sucks. right Moses our leader 00:08:01.540 --> 00:08:05.879 even he sucks right so so whining always focuses 00:08:05.879 --> 00:08:09.439 on the negative and forgets all the good things 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:14.800 around you so I wonder have you ever met Wilma 00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:17.490 the whiner Wilma the whiner. But if you haven't 00:08:17.490 --> 00:08:19.730 met Wilma the whiner, then let me introduce you 00:08:19.730 --> 00:08:22.670 to the second type of complainant, Martin the 00:08:22.670 --> 00:08:27.370 martyr. Martin the martyr. Now, Martin's favorite 00:08:27.370 --> 00:08:31.930 phrase is, oh, no one appreciates me. right he 00:08:31.930 --> 00:08:34.470 feels like he's carrying everything he's doing 00:08:34.470 --> 00:08:37.190 everything he's sacrificing everything and he 00:08:37.190 --> 00:08:40.710 wants you and he wants everyone to know how much 00:08:40.710 --> 00:08:45.250 he's giving and martin loves to throw pity parties 00:08:45.250 --> 00:08:50.549 oh i'll just do it myself or i always do it myself 00:08:50.549 --> 00:08:54.149 i guess i'm the only one around here who cares 00:08:54.990 --> 00:08:58.429 Now, I think Martin is actually distantly related 00:08:58.429 --> 00:09:01.389 to Moses himself. Moses would say stuff like, 00:09:01.450 --> 00:09:05.090 oh, the burden's too heavy for me. If this is 00:09:05.090 --> 00:09:07.250 how you're going to treat me, God, please just 00:09:07.250 --> 00:09:11.980 go ahead and kill me. Now, Moses was under a 00:09:11.980 --> 00:09:14.720 lot of pressure, granted, but there's a fine 00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:19.159 line here between, you know, just having a little 00:09:19.159 --> 00:09:22.360 bit of an honest struggle and moving into self 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:25.320 -pity. And that's what Martin does. He moves 00:09:25.320 --> 00:09:30.279 from, oh, this is hard, to, oh, woe is me. Nobody 00:09:30.279 --> 00:09:33.279 has it as hard as me. Now, if you don't know 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:36.200 Martin the Martyr, you'll certainly know Cynthia 00:09:36.200 --> 00:09:41.500 the Cynic. And Cynthia, her sister, by the way, 00:09:41.620 --> 00:09:44.659 Debbie Downer. Do you guys know Debbie Downer? 00:09:45.820 --> 00:09:49.519 Cynthia's favorite phrase is, nothing's ever 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:52.059 going to change. Nothing will ever change. What's 00:09:52.059 --> 00:09:55.480 the point? Why even try? Cynthia isn't as loud 00:09:55.480 --> 00:09:59.720 as Wilma and maybe not as emotional as Martin. 00:10:00.539 --> 00:10:04.139 She's just defeated. Oh, forget about it, right? 00:10:04.600 --> 00:10:08.139 Nothing's... ever going to change? Who even cares? 00:10:08.460 --> 00:10:12.419 Why even bother, right? Solomon is a classic 00:10:12.419 --> 00:10:15.259 example of a cynic. Oh, everything is meaningless. 00:10:15.879 --> 00:10:19.559 Generations come and generations go, but it's 00:10:19.559 --> 00:10:22.659 always the same story forever and ever. What 00:10:22.659 --> 00:10:27.000 has been will be again. Kids these days, right? 00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:34.159 So have you met Cynthia? Or are you a little 00:10:34.159 --> 00:10:36.120 bit of a Cynthia? Like, do you have a relationship 00:10:36.120 --> 00:10:38.200 that just never seems to be working? You're like, 00:10:38.340 --> 00:10:40.720 what's the point? Or you turn on the news and 00:10:40.720 --> 00:10:43.120 you see one problem after another and you're 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:45.840 just like, you know, nothing's ever going to 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:49.759 change in the world. Finally, the fourth person 00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:53.600 I want to introduce you to is Pete the Perfectionist. 00:10:54.200 --> 00:10:57.720 And Pete's favorite phrase is, this isn't good 00:10:57.720 --> 00:10:59.820 enough. This isn't good enough. Hey, you missed 00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:02.820 a spot over here, right? Now Pete's different 00:11:02.820 --> 00:11:05.860 from the other three. His biggest complaint. 00:11:06.570 --> 00:11:10.370 is that nothing meets his very high standards, 00:11:10.669 --> 00:11:14.649 right? Nothing is ever quite good enough. The 00:11:14.649 --> 00:11:17.409 house is not good enough. The job is not good 00:11:17.409 --> 00:11:19.730 enough. The church service is not good enough. 00:11:19.909 --> 00:11:22.649 The sermon is not good enough. I'm working on 00:11:22.649 --> 00:11:26.450 it, Pete. Give me a break. I'm trying. But Pete, 00:11:26.490 --> 00:11:29.429 he shows up in readings like, you know, Proverbs 00:11:29.429 --> 00:11:34.889 27. A nagging spouse is like the drip, drip. 00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:38.340 Drip of a leaky faucet. You can't turn it off 00:11:38.340 --> 00:11:42.299 and you can't get away from it. Drip, drip, constant 00:11:42.299 --> 00:11:46.080 criticism. Drip, constant fault finding. Drip, 00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:49.159 nothing is ever good enough. It's just draining. 00:11:49.460 --> 00:11:52.500 And it makes your relationships with people so 00:11:52.500 --> 00:11:55.600 much worse. So there you got it. There's Pete 00:11:55.600 --> 00:11:59.000 the perfectionist. So who did we meet? We met 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:02.159 Wilma the whiner, Martin the martyr, Cynthia 00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:05.259 the cynic. Pete the Perfectionist, by the way, 00:12:05.259 --> 00:12:09.899 if your name is Wilma, Martin, Cynthia, or Pete, 00:12:10.039 --> 00:12:13.019 my apologies to you this morning. These four 00:12:13.019 --> 00:12:15.820 have very different personalities, but they all 00:12:15.820 --> 00:12:20.559 have the same problem. They're complainers. And 00:12:20.559 --> 00:12:23.940 if we're honest, we don't just know them, but 00:12:23.940 --> 00:12:28.100 sometimes we are them. And so the question is, 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:31.240 How do we conquer complaining? How do we clean 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:35.039 up this mess in our hearts? Well, thankfully, 00:12:35.220 --> 00:12:39.679 the Bible does not just show us the problem. 00:12:40.169 --> 00:12:44.450 It also gives us a cleanup plan. So I want to 00:12:44.450 --> 00:12:46.929 just look at five, I think, simple but also very 00:12:46.929 --> 00:12:50.710 powerful things that we can do to deal with complaining. 00:12:50.750 --> 00:12:53.590 Just think of this as your spring cleaning checklist. 00:12:54.049 --> 00:12:57.049 And step one on that checklist is the simplest 00:12:57.049 --> 00:13:00.190 of all of them. And that is to admit that this 00:13:00.190 --> 00:13:05.350 is a problem for you. Not to admit that it's 00:13:05.350 --> 00:13:08.259 a problem for your spouse. Not to admit that 00:13:08.259 --> 00:13:10.000 it's a problem for your kids or your coworkers, 00:13:10.259 --> 00:13:14.480 but for you. You see, complaining is one of those 00:13:14.480 --> 00:13:17.659 things that is so easy to see in other people, 00:13:17.740 --> 00:13:21.879 but so hard to see in ourself. You know, you 00:13:21.879 --> 00:13:24.620 hear Wilma or you hear Cynthia and you say, oh 00:13:24.620 --> 00:13:27.720 yeah, that's her. That's her. I know her. Or 00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:30.480 you hear Martin and you hear Pete and you're 00:13:30.480 --> 00:13:32.679 like, oh yeah, I've met someone like that. But 00:13:32.679 --> 00:13:37.919 then we skip right over top of ourselves. Paul 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:41.919 says, you got to work out your salvation. with 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:45.320 fear and trembling. For it is God who is working 00:13:45.320 --> 00:13:50.100 in you, right? He says, don't, he's not saying 00:13:50.100 --> 00:13:54.919 fix the people around you. He is saying. Work 00:13:54.919 --> 00:13:59.259 it out in you. You work it out. You do everything 00:13:59.259 --> 00:14:02.360 without grumbling. It doesn't start out there 00:14:02.360 --> 00:14:04.299 with someone else. It actually starts in here 00:14:04.299 --> 00:14:09.220 with ourselves. Proverbs again, 28 says, whoever 00:14:09.220 --> 00:14:12.059 conceals their sins does not prosper, but the 00:14:12.059 --> 00:14:16.600 one who confesses and renounces them, they find 00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:21.899 hope. They find mercy. So you can't fix what 00:14:21.899 --> 00:14:24.940 you don't face. And to clean up complaining, 00:14:25.100 --> 00:14:30.500 we have to come clean about complaining. So like 00:14:30.500 --> 00:14:35.299 we prayed, God, search us. God, where is complaining 00:14:35.299 --> 00:14:38.019 showing up in my life? And maybe I don't even 00:14:38.019 --> 00:14:40.980 call it complaining. Maybe I... I just say, oh, 00:14:41.139 --> 00:14:43.899 can I vent to you for a little bit? We love to 00:14:43.899 --> 00:14:46.799 vent, but it's not complaining. Or maybe it shows 00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:49.059 up like in your life group during the prayer 00:14:49.059 --> 00:14:51.659 request time. And you're like, oh, can we just 00:14:51.659 --> 00:14:55.240 pray for my husband? He's been such a pain in 00:14:55.240 --> 00:14:57.620 the butt lately, right? We say, oh, it's a prayer 00:14:57.620 --> 00:15:00.379 request. No, it's just a way that we're complaining 00:15:00.379 --> 00:15:03.600 in a spiritual way. So wherever it is hiding, 00:15:03.659 --> 00:15:06.940 God, we just pray that you would dig it out because 00:15:06.940 --> 00:15:09.440 that first part of the cleanup plan has just 00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:13.539 gone. to be admitting that we have this problem. 00:15:14.120 --> 00:15:17.879 Okay, the second part is kind of connected, but 00:15:17.879 --> 00:15:20.480 it is not just to admit the problem, but it's 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:26.000 to accept responsibility for our own life and 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:29.679 our own decisions. Complaining is very closely 00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:35.450 related to blaming. We blame others. We blame 00:15:35.450 --> 00:15:40.409 circumstances. We even blame God. Complaining 00:15:40.409 --> 00:15:45.190 is a way of us saying, this isn't my fault. I 00:15:45.190 --> 00:15:46.929 didn't do anything. This isn't my fault. This 00:15:46.929 --> 00:15:49.070 is all somebody else. But the Bible pushes back 00:15:49.070 --> 00:15:52.169 on that. Again, Proverbs says that a person's 00:15:52.169 --> 00:15:55.789 own folly leads to their ruin, yet their heart 00:15:55.789 --> 00:15:59.659 goes. and rages against the Lord. In other words, 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:05.240 we make a mess in our lives, and then we go and 00:16:05.240 --> 00:16:09.019 we complain to God about it. I want to give you 00:16:09.019 --> 00:16:11.080 an example of how this worked out in my own life 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:16.990 this past week. Last week, after a long day of 00:16:16.990 --> 00:16:19.169 work, it was the last thing we were going to 00:16:19.169 --> 00:16:20.950 do before the end of the night. Sally and I decided 00:16:20.950 --> 00:16:23.669 to take our dog, Holly, for a walk, which is 00:16:23.669 --> 00:16:26.190 normal. And so, you know, it was 10 .30, 11 o 00:16:26.190 --> 00:16:27.750 'clock at night. We're walking around the block, 00:16:27.809 --> 00:16:29.649 and we always take her to this one spot where 00:16:29.649 --> 00:16:33.240 we take her off the leash. and she can run around 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:35.639 a little bit. Now, we took her off the leash, 00:16:35.720 --> 00:16:37.919 and Sally was the first one to spot it. There 00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:42.320 was a skunk running around. And Sally said, Rob, 00:16:42.419 --> 00:16:44.200 you better put the dog back on the leash. And 00:16:44.200 --> 00:16:46.559 I said, oh, Sally, come on, don't overreact. 00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:49.879 She's a good dog. She's a good dog. She'll come 00:16:49.879 --> 00:16:53.379 if we need her to. And besides, I think I saw 00:16:53.379 --> 00:16:55.379 the skunk run to the fence. I think he's gone 00:16:55.379 --> 00:16:58.399 anyways. And then again, she's like, I think 00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:00.960 you should put the dog on the leash. And I said, 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:05.119 just relax. Everything will be just fine. It's 00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:08.059 late. We're going to go home. Well, about 15 00:17:08.059 --> 00:17:12.500 seconds later, Holly darted for the skunk that 00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:17.039 appeared, and she got blasted point blank. It 00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:19.779 was horrible. Yesterday, I was talking to our 00:17:19.779 --> 00:17:21.279 neighbors, the Bemons, who live three blocks 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:24.519 away, and they were like, that was you? It was 00:17:24.519 --> 00:17:27.420 horrible. It was a horrible, horrible smell. 00:17:27.720 --> 00:17:31.880 And so I went home that night, and for the last 00:17:31.880 --> 00:17:34.880 three days or more, we have been washing and 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:39.480 rewashing and chemicaling our dog. And man, oh 00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:41.779 man, when I was doing that, I complained so, 00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:44.400 so much. Oh, we never should have got a dog. 00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:48.400 I hate this dog. This dog is worth more trouble 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:50.940 than it is worth. This dog should be ashamed 00:17:50.940 --> 00:17:56.880 of itself, right? The truth is, it wasn't the 00:17:56.880 --> 00:18:01.599 dog's fault. It was my fault. It was my folly 00:18:01.599 --> 00:18:05.420 that led to her ruin and the ruin of the whole 00:18:05.420 --> 00:18:09.440 Streetsville neighborhood, right? I had to accept 00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:11.759 responsibility in the end. And sometimes that's 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:13.799 the thing. The things that we complain about 00:18:13.799 --> 00:18:17.220 the most are connected to choices that we made, 00:18:17.380 --> 00:18:20.279 right? We complain, oh, I'm always so exhausted. 00:18:20.420 --> 00:18:24.039 But we stay up like super late. Or we complain, 00:18:24.299 --> 00:18:27.660 oh, I hate being in debt. But we refuse to kind 00:18:27.660 --> 00:18:30.259 of put in a spending plan that would actually 00:18:30.259 --> 00:18:32.480 get us out of debt. The Bible has a phrase for 00:18:32.480 --> 00:18:35.559 this, by the way. It's, you reap what you sow. 00:18:36.119 --> 00:18:39.000 Yes, you are free. You're free to choose your 00:18:39.000 --> 00:18:41.920 own actions, but those actions have consequences. 00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:46.039 In one of Rick Warren's books, he says there's 00:18:46.039 --> 00:18:49.119 three kinds of people. He says there are accusers. 00:18:50.309 --> 00:18:54.130 excusers and choosers. Accusers say, it's your 00:18:54.130 --> 00:18:58.910 fault. Excusers say, it's not my fault. And choosers 00:18:58.910 --> 00:19:03.569 say, I choose to take responsibility. So again, 00:19:03.710 --> 00:19:07.690 let's pray. God, search me. Where have I been 00:19:07.690 --> 00:19:11.390 blaming and complaining instead of owning things 00:19:11.390 --> 00:19:15.480 and taking some responsibility? Step three. in 00:19:15.480 --> 00:19:17.660 the cleanup plan. Sounds a bit like last week, 00:19:17.740 --> 00:19:21.900 but it's a recurring theme. And that is the way 00:19:21.900 --> 00:19:24.920 we get rid of complaining is developing an attitude 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:26.920 of gratitude. Everybody's heard that phrase, 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:30.420 but it is so true. Paul says, he says, give thanks 00:19:30.420 --> 00:19:34.579 in some circumstances. No, he doesn't. He says, 00:19:34.619 --> 00:19:40.539 give thanks in good circumstances. No, it doesn't 00:19:40.539 --> 00:19:43.920 say that either. He says, give thanks. In all 00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:47.440 circumstances, for this is God's will for you 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:51.720 in Christ Jesus. Now notice, Paul doesn't say 00:19:51.720 --> 00:19:54.880 give thanks for all your circumstances. He says 00:19:54.880 --> 00:19:57.980 give thanks in all circumstances. When Paul wrote 00:19:57.980 --> 00:20:02.559 this, he was sitting in jail, right? God is not 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:05.700 asking us to pretend that everything is good. 00:20:06.099 --> 00:20:10.740 He's asking us to trust God and to trust that 00:20:10.740 --> 00:20:14.890 God is good. So you can always look at your life 00:20:14.890 --> 00:20:16.809 and say, here's what's wrong with my life. Or 00:20:16.809 --> 00:20:18.430 you can look at your life and say, look what 00:20:18.430 --> 00:20:22.970 God has given me. You can say on the one, oh, 00:20:23.170 --> 00:20:27.750 that dog stinks. I hate that dog. Or you can 00:20:27.750 --> 00:20:32.170 say, oh, but she's so cute. You know, Joni Mitchell, 00:20:32.369 --> 00:20:35.690 you remember that song? Don't it always seem 00:20:35.690 --> 00:20:38.960 to go. That you don't know what you've got till 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:41.460 it's gone. So let me ask you, what in your life 00:20:41.460 --> 00:20:44.079 right now have you like stopped being thankful 00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:48.759 for? And that what would it take for you to start 00:20:48.759 --> 00:20:51.819 thanking God for it again? That is actually part 00:20:51.819 --> 00:20:56.779 of the cleanup plan. Step four of cleaning up 00:20:56.779 --> 00:21:01.900 this complaining is to look. for God's hand in 00:21:01.900 --> 00:21:05.200 all of our circumstances. You know, indeed, there 00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:06.819 are some things in life that are really hard. 00:21:06.859 --> 00:21:08.680 There are some things in life that are really 00:21:08.680 --> 00:21:13.799 confusing and painful. And this isn't about pretending 00:21:13.799 --> 00:21:18.980 to be fine when you're going through tough times. 00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:22.740 It's totally fine for us in those moments to 00:21:22.740 --> 00:21:25.859 ask God, God, why is this happening to us? That 00:21:25.859 --> 00:21:27.880 is actually not a complaint. That is an honest 00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:31.480 question. That is even a lament. But at the same 00:21:31.480 --> 00:21:34.220 time, there is another question we could be asking 00:21:34.220 --> 00:21:36.480 God in those difficult moments. And that question 00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:42.559 is, God, where are you in this? James writes 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:44.140 this. I put the whole thing up there because 00:21:44.140 --> 00:21:47.259 it says it all. Dear brothers and sisters, when 00:21:47.259 --> 00:21:50.359 troubles of any kind come your way, Consider 00:21:50.359 --> 00:21:53.039 it an opportunity for great joy. For you know 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:56.240 that when your faith is tested, your endurance 00:21:56.240 --> 00:22:00.859 has a chance to grow. So let it grow. For when 00:22:00.859 --> 00:22:03.799 your endurance is fully developed, you will be 00:22:03.799 --> 00:22:08.619 perfect and complete, needing nothing. And James 00:22:08.619 --> 00:22:12.200 here, he's not minimizing pain. He's just reframing 00:22:12.200 --> 00:22:14.880 it. And he's just saying, there's more maybe 00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:19.849 going on in your pain than first appears. When 00:22:19.849 --> 00:22:21.869 I complain about my circumstances, I'm kind of 00:22:21.869 --> 00:22:23.470 saying, God, you don't know what you're doing. 00:22:23.490 --> 00:22:25.190 God, you're making a mistake here. I don't think 00:22:25.190 --> 00:22:28.509 you care about me. But sometimes the thing we 00:22:28.509 --> 00:22:31.630 complain about the most is the very thing that 00:22:31.630 --> 00:22:36.549 God wants to use most in our lives. That problem 00:22:36.549 --> 00:22:39.210 you're facing, that delay that you've been waiting 00:22:39.210 --> 00:22:41.730 for, that relationship that is a constant struggle. 00:22:41.829 --> 00:22:46.519 You wish that situation would just go away. But 00:22:46.519 --> 00:22:50.079 maybe God's saying, hey, I can use this. I'm 00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:53.839 going to use this. Again, I'm not pretending 00:22:53.839 --> 00:22:58.400 this is easy. But instead of just complaining, 00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:02.819 saying, God, why me? We could also say, God, 00:23:02.960 --> 00:23:07.119 what are you doing in me? God, where are you 00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:10.579 shaping me? God, how are you forming me through 00:23:10.579 --> 00:23:14.380 this? And that brings us to step five of the 00:23:14.380 --> 00:23:18.000 cleanup plan. And that is simply to start practicing 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:23.359 speaking positively. As we've already seen, complaining 00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:28.160 is a habit that rewires your brain. But those 00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:31.039 neural... connections that are made through complaining 00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:34.980 can be undone healed and reconnected when we 00:23:34.980 --> 00:23:38.240 change the way that we speak when we start thinking 00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:40.640 more positively and using uplifting speech habits 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:43.960 don't just go away we often have to replace bad 00:23:43.960 --> 00:23:47.460 habits with good habits the bible speaks over 00:23:47.460 --> 00:23:49.339 and over again about how important it is to just 00:23:49.339 --> 00:23:52.119 watch what it is that is coming out of our mouths 00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:55.339 don't let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths 00:23:55.339 --> 00:23:58.160 but only what is helpful for building others 00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:01.220 up according to their needs. In other words, 00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:04.259 don't just try to cut out complaining, but replace 00:24:04.259 --> 00:24:07.880 those words with words that build people up and 00:24:07.880 --> 00:24:10.119 do that in your home or do it in your workplace 00:24:10.119 --> 00:24:11.859 or do it with your friendship group or do it 00:24:11.859 --> 00:24:14.700 in your classroom. You can always walk into a 00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:17.960 room and bring criticism or you can walk into 00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:21.119 that room and bring encouragement instead. You 00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:24.940 can tear people down or you can build people 00:24:24.940 --> 00:24:29.579 up. One way drains people, but the other way 00:24:29.579 --> 00:24:33.359 fills people up. So I want to challenge you to 00:24:33.359 --> 00:24:36.180 something this week, and that is to see how long 00:24:36.180 --> 00:24:39.500 you can go in any one stretch without complaining. 00:24:40.079 --> 00:24:44.319 Use a stopwatch or something. I don't know. As 00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:48.420 soon as you feel yourself starting to complain, 00:24:48.700 --> 00:24:51.079 oh, this isn't good enough, or Debbie Downer, 00:24:51.079 --> 00:24:55.420 or whatever, catch yourself, and instead, Switch 00:24:55.420 --> 00:24:57.740 it. Say, you know, well, thank you, God, for 00:24:57.740 --> 00:25:00.859 what you've done here. Because part of the cleanup 00:25:00.859 --> 00:25:05.079 plan is to just pay better attention to our words. 00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:09.140 Admit it's a problem. Accept responsibility. 00:25:10.539 --> 00:25:13.259 Develop an attitude of gratitude. Look for God's 00:25:13.259 --> 00:25:16.819 hand in it and practice speaking positively. 00:25:16.960 --> 00:25:19.660 Paul says, do everything without complaining. 00:25:19.779 --> 00:25:22.859 Man, Paul, that is a really, really... Big ask. 00:25:23.039 --> 00:25:27.140 It's a tall order. But he actually gives us the 00:25:27.140 --> 00:25:30.079 reason why this is so important. This is kind 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:33.099 of where we need to end. He says, this is important 00:25:33.099 --> 00:25:38.799 so that you may become. blameless and pure, children 00:25:38.799 --> 00:25:41.759 of God without fault in a warped and crooked 00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:45.900 generation, which is true. We do live in a generation 00:25:45.900 --> 00:25:48.740 that is very, very negative. You turn on the 00:25:48.740 --> 00:25:50.880 news, scroll your social media, listen to conversations. 00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:53.099 It's complaint after complaint after complaint 00:25:53.099 --> 00:25:57.339 after complaint. But if we can conquer complaining, 00:25:58.329 --> 00:26:02.430 and we can show people some kind of different 00:26:02.430 --> 00:26:05.029 attitude or a different way of life, then yes, 00:26:05.190 --> 00:26:09.690 guess what? We do shine like stars in the sky. 00:26:09.750 --> 00:26:12.230 Just like the stars in the sky are these dots 00:26:12.230 --> 00:26:15.250 of light that stand out against the black background, 00:26:15.529 --> 00:26:20.029 right? We can stand out in a dark and dreary 00:26:20.029 --> 00:26:25.029 world as a genuinely positive person. A complaining 00:26:25.029 --> 00:26:27.700 Christian. I think it's very difficult for a 00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:29.980 complaining Christian to lead someone to Jesus. 00:26:30.039 --> 00:26:33.359 But a person who speaks life, a person who trusts 00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:36.319 God, a person who carries gratitude even in the 00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:39.599 hard times, that kind of life makes people say, 00:26:39.660 --> 00:26:41.680 wow, there is something different about that 00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:45.079 person. I want to figure out why they have a 00:26:45.079 --> 00:26:47.880 completely different attitude. And as we do that, 00:26:47.980 --> 00:26:52.619 those people may even begin to see Jesus in us. 00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:57.359 And if you think about it, if anyone, had the 00:26:57.359 --> 00:26:59.839 right to complain. It would have been Jesus. 00:26:59.940 --> 00:27:02.500 He was betrayed by his friends, falsely accused. 00:27:02.700 --> 00:27:06.299 He was beaten, mocked, nailed to the cross. He 00:27:06.299 --> 00:27:10.099 was oppressed and afflicted. But look, he never 00:27:10.099 --> 00:27:13.839 said a word. As a sheep before his shearers is 00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:18.279 silent, so he, what? He did not open his mouth. 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:21.859 Jesus didn't lash out. Jesus didn't complain. 00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:24.579 Jesus didn't accuse. He didn't gunguse moss. 00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:30.519 Instead, he speaks words of life. Father, forgive 00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:34.819 them. And you know, as Christians, the same spirit 00:27:34.819 --> 00:27:40.980 of Jesus lives in us, enabling us to live like 00:27:40.980 --> 00:27:46.619 him. So, yeah, Wilma the whiner, Martin the martyr, 00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:51.420 Cynthia the cynic, Pete the perfectionist. We 00:27:51.420 --> 00:27:55.210 don't just know these people. We are these people. 00:27:55.509 --> 00:27:59.869 Sometimes we rise and whine, right? Sometimes 00:27:59.869 --> 00:28:03.450 we throw pity parties, and sometimes we just 00:28:03.450 --> 00:28:07.930 expect everything to be better than it is. But 00:28:07.930 --> 00:28:11.970 if we admit it, if we own it, if we choose differently, 00:28:12.190 --> 00:28:16.970 we can rewire our lives. What would happen in 00:28:16.970 --> 00:28:20.950 your home if you replaced complaining with encouragement? 00:28:21.529 --> 00:28:24.490 What would happen in your workplace if you replace 00:28:24.490 --> 00:28:26.930 negativity with positivity? And what would happen 00:28:26.930 --> 00:28:31.269 in this church if we replaced grumbling with 00:28:31.269 --> 00:28:34.029 gratitude? I'll tell you what would happen. We 00:28:34.029 --> 00:28:41.109 would shine like stars in the sky. So thanks 00:28:41.109 --> 00:28:46.500 be to God. Amen. Thanks for tuning in to this 00:28:46.500 --> 00:28:48.880 week's episode of Trinity Sermons. This sermon 00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:51.500 was recorded at Trinity Church Streetsville in 00:28:51.500 --> 00:28:54.859 Mississauga, Ontario on April 19th, 2026.