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Hello and welcome to Trinity Sermons. Here at Trinity Church, Streetsville, we aim to

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share biblically based sermons with you, rooted in our desire to love Jesus, live like Jesus,

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and lead others to Jesus. This is our final sermon in our series on the fruit of the Spirit,

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where Pastor Rob Hirkmans preaches about self-control. There is so much in this message that we think

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you will absolutely want to hear, so thanks again for listening. Enjoy the sermon and God bless.

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A reading from Galatians 5, verse 16 to 25. I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirit's

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instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and then you won't always be doing

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the wrong things your evil nature wants you to do. For we naturally love to do evil things that are

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just the opposite from the things that the Holy Spirit tells us to do, and the good things we want

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to do when the Spirit has His way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These forces

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within us constantly fighting each other to win over us, and our wishes are never free from their

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pressures. When you are guided by the Holy Spirit, you need no longer force yourself to obey Jewish

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laws, but when you follow your own wrong inclinations, your lives will provide these evil results.

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Impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, spiritism, that is encouraging the

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activity of demons, hatred and fighting, jealousy and anger, constant effort to get the best for

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yourself, complaints and criticisms, the feeling that everyone else is wrong except those in your

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own little group, and there will be wrong doctrine, envy, murder, drunkenness, wild parties and all

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that sort of thing. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living the sort of life

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will not inherit the Kingdom of God, but when the Holy Spirit control our lives, He will produce

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this kind of fruit in us, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

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gentleness and self-control, and here there is no conflict with Jewish laws. Those who belong to

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Christ have nailed their natural evil desires to His cross and crucified them there. If you are

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living now by the Holy Spirit's power, let us follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of

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our lives. This is the word of the Lord.

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It's hard to believe, but it was seven weeks ago when we began this journey. And actually, it was

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seven weeks ago when I shared with you this picture of our newly planted garden at home. And

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you might remember it was just kind of just at the very beginning stage that we had just planted

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some things. I wanted to give you an update now that seven weeks have gone by. This is what we are

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looking at now. It has...look at that growth that has happened over those seven weeks. It was at the

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beginning, it was just these tiny little lettuce plants and a few little sprigs of garlic. And now

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the lettuce has shot right up and the garlic has shot right up. And then there were our pea plants.

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Our pea plants started just as little seeds and then they sprouted and they grew into these little

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baby vines. Now, the pea plants, I have to tell you, are taller than I am. It's absolutely amazing.

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So we have been so blessed to see this growth taking place in our garden. And we also have been

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growing, I hope, over these past seven weeks here at Trinity Streetsville. And here's what I mean.

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We are told that according to the Bible, that if we have the Holy Spirit living and working in us,

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and at the same time we tend the garden of our own soul, then supernatural things will grow in us.

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What kind of things? Let's say this together. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,

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patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And today we're at

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the end. We finally made it to the end and we're going to be looking at the very last fruit of the

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Spirit, one called self-control. And actually self-control really does apply even to our home

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garden because as the garden grows and as more and more beautiful, delicious things appear on the

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vines, especially these sugar snap peas, you have to have some self-control. My daughter Georgia

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loves sugar snap peas. They're delicious. You can eat them right in the pod. They're so tasty. But

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she kept saying, Dad, can I take them now? Can I eat one now? Can I have one now? And I kept saying,

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no, Georgia, no, you've got to have self-control. You can't eat it yet. I think she still ate a

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whole bunch of them before they were ready. I can't prove it. But anyway, what are you going to do?

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Isn't it interesting though that even self-control is a fruit of the Spirit at all? Because Paul

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actually begins by telling us that when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, then he goes on to say

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that we will have this fruit in us, which is self-control. So what does that mean? Is the Holy

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Spirit controlling us or are we controlling our self, right? Is it God control or me control? Is

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God control? It's kind of mysterious, right? And this is actually part of the mystery we want to

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look at today. Is this, is it God who's actually controlling our lives or is it us that are

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demonstrating self-control? If I had asked you seven weeks ago, when we looked at all those fruit of

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the Spirit, which one of those you needed most in your life, if I had done a secret ballot, my hunch

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is that maybe three quarters of you would have said, I actually need help most of all with

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self-control. And we need help with self-control. When it comes to our thoughts. Sometimes we can't

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control our thoughts. Others need self control when it comes to our words, we say things that we

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shouldn't say. Some of us need self control. When it comes to our actions. We do things that we

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regret. Some of us need self control when it comes to our spending. When it comes to our eating.

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When it comes to our drinking. When it comes to our technology and all the other habits that we

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we have picked up along life's journey,

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this is the real question that we all struggle with.

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How do I get control of these things?

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How do I get control in my life?

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Or put another way, how do I control things

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so that the things don't end up controlling me?

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Because after all, if you think about it this way,

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if you don't have self-control in your life,

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then one of two things are true.

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Either something else is controlling you,

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or you are out of control.

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Now nobody wants to have something

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or someone else control them, right?

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Do you know what we call it when something

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or something else is controlling you?

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We call that slavery.

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Nobody wants to be a slave,

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nobody wants to have our actions dictated

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by some other force, we don't wanna be slaves,

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and nobody wants to be out of control either, right?

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When we're out of control,

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we usually say things we regret,

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we do things that later we end up being embarrassed.

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If you think about the last time

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that you lost your self-control,

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chances are you embarrassed yourself,

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you said something, you did something.

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When we lose our self-control, we end up feeling horrible,

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we feel like a failure, why does this keep happening to me?

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Why can't I get this right in my life?

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Or we feel defeated, or actually we can end up feeling

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really, really hopeless, like there's no hope for me.

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I'll never get out of this, I'll never be free,

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I'll never figure out how to get control

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of this area of my life.

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The worst thing about self-control, I think,

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is that we'd have nobody else to blame but ourselves.

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After all, it's self-control, right?

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We can only blame ourself for our lack of self-control.

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Self-control, you've probably seen this movie,

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it's like 20 years old now, but it's called Bruce Almighty.

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How many of you have seen Bruce Almighty,

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you're familiar with this movie?

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Okay, well there is like this one scene in the movie

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where Jim Carrey, who is the lead actor,

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for a brief period of time is given

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these divine, god-like powers.

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He can do whatever he wants to do.

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And in the scene I wanna show you,

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what he does is he actually ends up using his power

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to cause one of his rivals, a news anchor

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that he did not like, to lose his self-control.

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He loses his self-control.

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This is kind of a funny clip.

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It's actually a pretty good illustration

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because in this case, what is happening

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is the person playing God is actually causing someone

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to lose their self-control, but in real life,

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God actually wants us to gain self-control,

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the exact opposite.

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Now there's so many factors that cause us

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to lose our self-control, stress, sleep deprivation,

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and emotional struggles, experiences from the past,

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or that desire for instant gratification.

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All those things can cause us to lose self-control.

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They cause us to develop bad habits.

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They cause us to make very bad decisions.

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Some of the things that we do when we are out of control,

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actually temporarily, they do make us feel better.

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Yelling at that person did make you feel better temporarily.

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Buying that car made you feel better temporarily.

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Ordering all those drinks that night at the restaurant

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did make you feel better temporarily,

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and yet, pretty soon, that empty feeling returns,

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and that's because while these impulsive decisions

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do kind of make us feel better,

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they actually don't cure the deeper problem going on in us.

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It's like if you have a cold or if you've got a sore throat,

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how many of you have ever taken NyQuil?

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NyQuil, does NyQuil help?

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Does NyQuil make us feel better?

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Does it help us sleep?

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I mean, yes, how could it not?

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It's basically just like two ingredients,

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Jack Daniels and food coloring, right?

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That's what NyQuil is.

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So of course it makes us feel better,

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but is it actually curing us?

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No, it's not curing us.

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It's not getting to the bottom of the problem.

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Only God can cure the deep hunger

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that lies underneath all of those longings,

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and God cares about those longings,

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but he also knows that there's only one way to satisfy them,

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and that's through him,

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and we have to develop, therefore, self-control.

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So today, let's just ask three things about self-control.

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What is the purpose of self-control?

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Secondly, what is the problem we have with self-control?

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And thirdly, how can we get a plan?

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What is our plan for regaining control in our life?

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The purpose, the problem, the plan.

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Let's talk about the purpose of self-control.

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The purpose of self-control, its primary purpose,

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is actually self-defense, right?

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Self-control enables us to defend ourselves

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against temptation and ultimately destruction.

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There's this great proverb that is found in the Bible

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that goes like this.

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It says, a person without self-control

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is as defenseless as a city with broken down walls.

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Now in ancient times, a wall was there to protect the city

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and its inhabitants against invaders,

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and when you didn't have that wall,

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or when your walls were broken down,

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then all of a sudden you could be attacked.

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You were vulnerable.

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You could even be destroyed.

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And when we lack self-control,

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we are vulnerable to temptation and to destruction.

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And the worst part is,

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is that when our self-control breaks down,

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it's not just us that gets hurt, right?

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That the whole city pays the price.

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When you don't have self-control,

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your whole family pays the price.

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Your friends pay the price.

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Your career pays the price, right?

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The enemy storms the whole city

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and takes a whole bunch of people out

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because of our lack of self-control.

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Leads to all sorts of pain in our lives

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and the lives of others.

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So the first purpose of self-control

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is actually self-defense,

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but it's also on the other hand, a positive force.

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The Bible also tells us that self-control

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is part of a life of godliness,

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and it leads to love actually,

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in all sorts of good ways.

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So for example, Peter writes this.

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He says, add to your faith goodness,

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and to goodness, knowledge,

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and to knowledge, self-control.

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And to self-control, perseverance,

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and perseverance, and godliness,

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and affection, and affection, love.

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This is a list of just beautiful, beautiful qualities

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that we all want in our life,

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and right in the middle of it is self-control.

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And if I were to go out at coffee hour after the service

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and I were to say,

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do you want more love in your life?

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Or do you want more godliness in your life?

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You would say, yes, I would love more righteousness

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and godliness and knowledge and all that good stuff.

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But the thing that we don't often realize

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is that key to getting all that

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is to also mastering self-control.

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So we realize now that the purpose of self-control

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is on the one hand, it's defensive,

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it's to protect us from temptation and destruction,

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but on the other hand, it's positive

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in that it leads to godliness and love

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and all sorts of other good things in our life.

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But what's the problem?

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What is the problem with self-control?

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Well, one reason we lack self-control so often

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is because self-control is always in the on position, right?

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When something is always on, it runs down, right?

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Like your smartphone's battery, all day it is on,

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it's running applications, it's receiving notifications,

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it's staying connected to the internet.

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And slowly, slowly, it gradually depletes

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and depletes and depletes.

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The more you use it, it depletes, it wears down.

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And eventually, eventually it runs out and it dies.

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And that often happens at the worst possible moment.

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Because it's always on, even if you don't know it's on,

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it's on.

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And that's kind of what self-control is like.

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It's always on, our guard is always up.

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We always have to be exercising self-control at some level.

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Even right now, you are exercising self-control

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at some level.

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You're trying to not let your mind wander

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as I'm speaking to you.

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Others of you, you really wanna like talk

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to the person beside you, but you're saying,

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no, I can't do that right now.

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It is not an appropriate time to do that.

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Some of you just heard me mention cell phone

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and you wanna pick up your cell phone right now

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and you wanna check it, but you're like,

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no, I cannot do that.

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Some of you are finding this all incredibly boring

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and you have a yawn.

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You really wanna yawn, but you're stifling that yawn.

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You're stifling it, you're trying to exercise self-control.

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If I see anybody yawn, shame on you.

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Shame on you, you've got no self-control.

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And that's the problem.

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When something is always, always on,

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it's a tendency for it to tire out.

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And for it to burn out and run down, become weak,

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especially when we need it the most.

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So that's one of the problems with self-control.

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It's always on.

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But secondly, the second problem is that temptation

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is always nearby.

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There's always an invader at the city walls, right?

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No sooner have you defended against this enemy over here

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that there's another enemy coming at you over there.

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Let's say, for example, you don't have much self-control

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when it comes to shopping, okay?

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Well, guess what?

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Tough luck.

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There are stores absolutely everywhere.

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Everywhere you go, left, right, there's stores.

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And they're open around the clock, some of them.

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And they actually have these big buildings.

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I don't know if you've ever seen one of these,

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but they're called shopping malls.

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And if you go inside a shopping mall,

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it's just a great big store

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filled with all sorts of little stores,

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store after store after store after store.

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And now they actually even started putting stores out

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in the aisle of the shopping mall

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so that when you go from one store to the next store,

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you go by this little kiosk,

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which is like a mini store, right?

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You cannot get away from the store.

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Now, even shopping malls have to close down.

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Even the 2.2 million square foot shopping mall,

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Square One here in Mississauga,

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second largest shopping mall in the country,

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it has to shut down from time to time,

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but you can still go home and watch the shopping channel,

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or you can log on to Amazon or Tmoo or Sheen or Home Depot,

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and you can continue to shop all night long.

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So my point is that the temptation is always there.

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It is everywhere.

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You don't even have to go search for it.

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It's in your face, whatever you struggle with.

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It could be tech, it could be food, like I said,

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it could be drink or some other addiction.

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It's always, always there.

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That's one of the problems with self-control.

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And then that adds to that the third thing,

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and that is we actually underestimate how hard it is

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to get ahold of our self-control.

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So many times we say things like,

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oh, I can handle it, right, it's not that bad,

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I could stop any time.

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And when we say things like this,

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it just shows we don't actually understand

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how deep this goes.

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Or we say things like, oh, it's just who I am,

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or it's not my problem, or it's not hurting anyone,

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or don't judge me or whatever.

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It just shows we're avoiding

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the seriousness of the struggle.

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And again, yeah, you might be able to deal with

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some of the symptoms of your lack of self-control,

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but you never actually fix the problem in ourselves.

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If you got a shopping problem,

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yeah, you can cut up all your credit cards,

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but it does not change what's going on inside of us.

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So these are the problems with self-control.

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It's always on, temptation is always nearby,

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and it is harder than we realize or like to admit.

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But I wanna end today on more of a positive note, right?

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I wanna finish by talking about some solutions.

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We've talked about the purpose of the problem,

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let's talk about a plan.

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How do we grow self-control in the garden of our lives?

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Well, the first way to grow self-control in your life

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is simply this, just to remember something.

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Remember that you're free, right?

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When we're controlled by something else,

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we've already said that we're acting like slaves

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at that point, but we aren't slaves, right?

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We're free in Christ.

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Paul writes it like this,

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it's for freedom that Christ set you free.

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Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again

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by the yoke of slavery.

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You are not a slave to anyone or anything.

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You have been set free by God's grace.

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From the moment you are born,

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there are things constantly trying to shackle you

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with chains and weigh you down, right?

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And things that are not good for us.

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And try as we might,

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we cannot free ourselves from those chains,

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but God has the key to our bonds.

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And that key is something called grace.

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God comes along and he loves us with such a love

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and values us with such value and esteems us so much

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that it sets us free.

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So that the next time a habit or a temptation comes along

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and we say, oh no, here we go again.

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I'm just gonna screw up again.

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I'm gonna give in.

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I'm gonna overeat.

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I'm gonna over shop.

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I'm gonna over drink or whatever.

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And we're like, oh, then I'm gonna feel so guilty about it.

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I'm gonna feel horrible and worthless.

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Stop.

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Just remember a truth.

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You're not a slave.

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That's not who you are.

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You've been set free.

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God has given you his grace and by that grace,

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freedom to walk away from that.

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God's grace is more than enough.

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It's enough and more than enough.

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So no matter what tempts us, God says yes to us.

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As we try to say no to temptation, God says yes to you.

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Yes, I love you.

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Yes, you are mine.

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Remember you are free.

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So that actually is just simply speaking

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how the fruit of the spirit starts to grow in us.

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Just remembering who you are and remembering that you're free.

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But there's something more that we need.

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Besides just the knowledge, we also need friends.

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We need friends around us to help us gain control

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of the many temptations and pressures in our life.

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People who know what we struggle with, people who can support us,

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people who can encourage us, people who can pray for us.

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In fact, there is another proverb,

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fools think that they need no advice,

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but the wise listen to others.

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Think about Jesus.

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Jesus went about in groups, in groups of whether he

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had his best three friends or 12 friends, they did life together.

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00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:31,380
Paul also traveled with others.

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They did life together.

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00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:35,020
When Paul wrote to churches, he was writing

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to these communities of people who were doing life together.

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Most all of our spiritual growth, this is actually really important.

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Most all of our spiritual growth, especially our growth in self-control,

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happens not in private study.

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It happens in groups as we work through these struggles together.

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Here at Trinity, we have these little groups.

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We call them life groups.

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You can check out our website, join a life group in the fall,

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00:22:04,180 --> 00:22:05,380
doing life together.

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We need friends to help us in our spiritual growth.

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Thirdly and lastly, if you want self-control,

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you have to give it up.

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You have to give up control.

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Remember what Paul says, this mystery.

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When the Holy Spirit controls our lives,

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he'll produce in us self-control.

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It seems really backwards, right?

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So when the Holy Spirit controls us, then all of a sudden,

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I'm going to be able to control myself.

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How do these two things fit together?

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The Bible is full of paradoxes like this.

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Jesus says the first are going to be last.

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He says the weakest are going to be the strongest.

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He says the greatest are going to be servants.

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And here, what you see is exactly the same thing.

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If you want self-control, you have to surrender control.

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It's a mystery.

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00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:55,620
It's a mystery of the Christian faith.

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You are always going to be free to make your own decisions.

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You are not a puppet.

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And yet, God wants to control your life, right?

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00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,180
We have to make a lot of decisions by ourself.

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And yes, at the same time, we're not alone.

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God is working in us, and God is working through us to help us.

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It's a mystery, folks.

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00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,980
Who's controlling me?

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00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:16,820
It's not an either or.

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God controls our lives by the Spirit.

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But as that happens, we develop self-control.

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We have to give up control in order to gain control.

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And so let's end this whole series on that note.

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Are you ready to give control to God?

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Are you ready to surrender your life to Jesus?

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I want to end with just a short prayer.

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Maybe that prayer is an opportunity for us to surrender control to God's Spirit.

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So let's pray.

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Lord God, we thank you for today.

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Many of us know that we need more self-control.

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00:24:04,780 --> 00:24:10,340
But what we really need is for you to take control of our lives.

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00:24:10,340 --> 00:24:14,940
We need you to set us free from what enslaves us.

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00:24:14,940 --> 00:24:20,540
We need your presence to heal our pains and the hurts from our past.

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00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:21,540
Please do that.

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00:24:21,540 --> 00:24:26,060
We need you to forgive the mistakes and the people we've hurt.

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00:24:26,060 --> 00:24:28,300
Please do that.

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00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:32,500
We need good friends to walk with us.

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Would you give us those people in our lives?

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00:24:38,180 --> 00:24:44,140
We need your Spirit, Lord, to transform us from the inside out.

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00:24:44,140 --> 00:24:52,220
And so, Lord, we give you control of our lives.

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In Jesus' name, amen.

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Thank you for listening in today.

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00:24:59,620 --> 00:25:04,740
And next week, we will be starting up our summer sermon series on the Book of Psalms,

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the Bible's songbook.

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00:25:06,820 --> 00:25:10,420
Come back again, and thanks again for listening.

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Today's sermon was taken from the June 30, 2024 service at Trinity Church, Streetsville,

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in Mississauga, Ontario.