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We are recording now and then yeah, anything you do say now.

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On the record.

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Yes.

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Taking to court.

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Yeah.

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You're in court right now.

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This is where you belong.

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So yeah, I hope you enjoyed 10 years on the job.

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Right.

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This is my like sworn in, like this is my bible, swear it in now.

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Can you list the 10 commandments?

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You know, this is your moment.

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Um, thou shalt not lie.

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Or is that like a...

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That is one of them, I think.

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Thou shalt not lie with thy neighbour.

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Yeah.

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Wow, that just sounds very intimate.

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Um, mm, mm.

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Yep.

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Bit well.

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These are the things we do podcast, a podcast about film, life, television, culture, mental

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health and all of that fun, jazzy stuff.

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Today I've got my special guest and friend, Taliesin Don.

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Hello.

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Hello.

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If you're way harder to say your full name, Taliesin Don, than it is in, in systematic

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order.

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It's not a hard name.

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It's not a hard name, but I feel like Taliesin Don, like, it's just like the T and then maybe

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the D.

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I think it's the ND.

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The D.

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The Nnd and Don.

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Taliesin's quite flowery and then Don's like Don.

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Yeah.

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What's, where, what a last name?

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Yeah.

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And it's like, it's an English last name that is just, I mean, I think people, when they

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hear my first name, they're expecting a really, really long, flowery last name too.

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And then I'm just like, Don.

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You're like, just Don.

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Three, three letters.

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Yeah.

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You're very like.

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And you're done.

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Yeah.

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It explains a lot.

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Yeah.

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Um, and so in like, it's just, I think the juxtaposition between the two names are like, oh, yeah, yeah,

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yeah.

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It's a bit Joan, but.

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Yeah.

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I mean, like, I love that.

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Um, because I didn't realize it was an English name.

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I thought it would have been very much like, uh.

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Don.

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Yeah.

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It doesn't sound like an English, although it probably is a very English name because

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yeah, if I look back at history, there was a lot of like.

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Don's.

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Don's.

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Don's.

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A lot of Don's.

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Um, yeah.

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No, like there's English far, like lots in my Sri Lankan side of the family, like English

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men, marrying Sri Lankan men, you know, just a camera.

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Like, filtering through the last names, really, sowing their seeds.

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What a start.

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Can I just say if you, if we're, if anyone's just started listening, I'm sorry, we're talking

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already about sowing seeds and, and those disgusting men.

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So, Talitin, I know who you are.

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You've known each other for a couple of years, but obviously only a handful of the people

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on the internet know who you are.

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Would you like to tell everyone who you are and what you do?

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Well, I'm surprised anyone on the internet knows me.

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Um, I'm Talitin.

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I'm an actress, writer, model.

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Um, I'm currently working on my first short film.

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Um, been in lots of things with you, done Dr.

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Hustaf, um, was in Iron Woman a couple of years ago.

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Um, I studied overseas in New York, um, worked over here a little bit, and I'm just plotting

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along, loving life.

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Living, living your best.

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Living my best life.

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Living my best artistic life, trying to, trying to do my thing.

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I love that.

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Yeah.

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I, I love how much optimism you always have.

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The optimism is, um, it's clouding, clouding all the other things.

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It's like, if you don't do it with a smile, you're going to be dead.

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You know, because, because the, I think the funny thing is like when, when people may

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tell you something, we've chatted about this as well.

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Like, you know, that, um, the long conversation we had where it was like you have resting

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bitch face.

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Oh yeah.

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Uh, it just looks like because you, when you rest, you just don't have much of an expression,

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but you're really lovely and sweet.

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But everyone's just like, ah, I just look at her, look one, the second in her and I'm

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like, oh man, she's awful.

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She's so mean.

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Is that what you thought of me?

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No, I didn't personally.

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What have other people thought of that?

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I think you thought that, that was what other people had thought of you the first time they

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met you.

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I mean, I, I mean, I do think that because people have said that to my face.

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I mean, we even spoke about that at lunch today.

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Like my friends and I went out to lunch and, um, they were like, Tilly, you're just, you

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don't have an approachable face.

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Is that, is just not in general?

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Yeah.

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Or like you just, you don't look all that approachable sometimes and then you smile and

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that's fine.

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That, they're like, oh no.

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Awkward smile.

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But yes, I guess it's the resting bitch face or the, I don't know, the tallness.

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The imposing height.

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I mean, it's not that imposing.

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I, it irritates me that people think it's imposing, um, because you are just the height

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that you are and there is nothing, you know, wrong with that, but I, you are quite tall,

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which, you know, the average, you're above the average high for women, which is like

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181 in centimeters.

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Yeah, 183.

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So like six foot.

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Yeah.

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So bang on.

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Um, was that always expected when you were going?

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Yeah.

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So they, they doubled my height when I was two and which is the thing that you can do

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and the, I didn't realize it.

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Yeah.

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Um, so the pediatrician was like, she's going to be tall.

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Expect her to be like five, 11, six foot.

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Mum was like, all right.

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Okay.

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We'll see.

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And then we did.

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And you're like, shit.

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Um, cause like when did you shoot up?

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When did, when did that happen?

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I mean, I was always tall.

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Um, and then like around you six, all the other girls.

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Were really tall and then I think I was maybe like the third tallest, but still one of the

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tallest.

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And then like you seven, I started to really shoot up and I was just taller than everyone

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and then at 16, I like shot up straight to five, 11.

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So I'm just going to, that's perfect.

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Now just talk.

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Hello.

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Now just tilt it down slightly.

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Little in between.

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Perfect.

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Oh, it was perfect.

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Oh, look at that.

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I can hear you perfectly in my ears now.

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Um, okay.

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So that was kind of like a aged in between point and then, and then suddenly you just

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went, yeah.

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I mean, I was never not tall.

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I was always tall.

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Um, but yeah, I think like 15, 16 was and I like just gross giant.

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Yeah.

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I want to say, I don't want to say giant cause like it's still a normal height, but

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like every other person around me was probably like five, eight.

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And I was like, yeah.

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I mean, that's look, I, you know, I think, I think it's also kind of like I'm used to,

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I obviously have a lot of tall friends.

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So I'm very used to seeing women who are various different heights.

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Um, but yeah, I think, I think it's like that is, uh, I didn't realize nutritionist could

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be like, just expect, she is too, to be this tall when she's like in her teens.

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That is like unheard of.

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I don't even think my doctor's guessed how tall I'd actually be.

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No, it's, yeah, it's like a thing.

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Yeah.

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Cause I remember like, I think with all my medication and everything, they thought I'd

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stop at like 175 and I beat them by like six enemies.

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Yeah.

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So I'm like, watch me.

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Yeah.

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Just put me on a stretching board like that.

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Just strap me down, please pull on my spine.

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Um, but no.

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Yeah.

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Did you ever watch the movie white chicks and they, um, they said to their friends,

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like they, um, we had our knees done and then I used to really hope that that was a real

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surgery because they could elongate themselves.

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I was like, maybe I can like shorten my legs.

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We just like a half like cut a bone and then like fuse the bone together.

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Just cut a couple of inches off.

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Wow.

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So did you really hate being that tall?

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Yeah.

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Do you still hate it?

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No, it's okay now.

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I don't hate it.

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But you've kind of like grown into it.

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It's annoying for like some film things because, you know, so many actors are tiny.

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Um, and I'm, you know, I don't think I'm like right for every world because I'm like a certain

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type of look, you know, but that's also like a gross generalization.

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Yeah.

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I'm like, you know, what the industry puts out there, but, um, no, I don't like, I don't

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mind it.

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Like it's, you know, because now if I see someone who's taller than me in a room, I'm

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like, how dare you?

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You're like, I will cut your feet off.

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That's my thing.

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I will damage your bones so you are not as tall as I am.

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Suddenly there's a murder scene just at the end of the day and you've just killed all

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the tall people in the room who are taller than you.

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And they're like, we're looking for a woman who is six.

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But yeah, like I do agree with you on the fact that, you know, you know, you are grossly,

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you know, underlocked because of your height as well.

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I mean, like what I think, um, cause you do have like, uh, you know, cause obviously

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model industry and stuff, but you do have a striking look.

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But I think it's interesting cause I know we've chatted about this and I think the difference

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is between like, you know, when you're an actor and you're a performer, that a look,

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how you look naturally doesn't mean how you could look in a film.

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And those are two very different things, but people automatically assume.

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And I think a bit and like just low independent stuff, um, that they just don't really look

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past like the surface level.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Um, yeah, I always say that like you have yourself and then you have your actor's self,

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you know, because like there are so many different people who are like introverted,

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but they play very extroverted people on camera or on stage, but that's their actor's self.

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And like the characters I play are very different to who I am as a person because they like,

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it leans to the type that I am, like of how I look, of how like my, my essence or whatever,

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you know, you know, very different inside.

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Yeah.

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Cause you, you and I are very similar in the fact that we are quite introverted people,

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and kind of just a bit weird in the nicest possible way.

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Don't think we're strange.

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Um, or do I don't mind.

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Yeah, we make all the jokes here is already, but yeah, like you're a bit of a, I think

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you, I think people automatically assume that you're this sort of, um, I think like glamorous

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automatically when you're kind of an, what do you say?

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Shut up.

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But no, I think, I think you're, you know, like seeing you in your natural habitat is

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kind of like a bit nerdy, a bit, you know, geeky, you like certain things.

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You have an interest in like stories and ideas and stuff like that.

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And you kind of like.

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Yeah.

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Well, I think so many people like, like to pigeonhole people, especially they like to

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pigeonhole women.

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So they're like, well, you're, you're tall, you model, you look like this, you may have

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a resting bitch face.

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So you must, you must not like, you know, other things.

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You must not like reading or, you know, you must not have a sensitive side.

250
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,720
You must not be introverted and like spending time at home.

251
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,720
Yeah.

252
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,480
Or, you know, you must not like reading fantasy books or whatever.

253
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,640
But you must like glitzy, glamorous things.

254
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,320
And I still like glitzy, glamorous things.

255
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,560
And I love makeup and I love clothes, but I like them in my own way.

256
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,560
Yeah.

257
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:57,120
You know, and those things that, you know, you can have many different boxes.

258
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,120
Yeah.

259
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,120
Okay.

260
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:00,120
Yeah.

261
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,840
And I think, I think it's like, um, what were you wearing?

262
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:07,840
You had your like Wonder Woman kind of esk shirt, um, on when, like, um, um, you know,

263
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:10,400
um, we did filming your T-shirt and stuff like that.

264
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:15,680
And you've just got like little bits and pieces that are kind of like things that you like.

265
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,920
And then, you know, not, you know, everyone kind of looks past that because they sort

266
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:24,440
of look, how you were on your face and that like, nah, she can't like these nerdy things.

267
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,440
Yeah.

268
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:30,000
I wore a, um, um, a Led Zeppelin shirt once, like to an acting class and this guy like

269
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,000
saw my shirt and he was like, name three songs, go name them.

270
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000
He was like, what?

271
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,440
He was like, your shirt.

272
00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,760
If you're wearing that shirt, you must like it or you just want to those girls that wear

273
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,760
those shirts.

274
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,600
He's like, oh, don't put me on the spot.

275
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,440
Like my anxiety, I can't name them now because now I've forgotten anything like anything that

276
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,440
exists ever.

277
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,440
Yeah.

278
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,440
He was like, oh my God, shut up.

279
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,440
Yeah.

280
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:58,600
Cause like, you know, I, I think it's like for you, um, you know, and I know you, you

281
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,120
and I have talked about anxiety as well.

282
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:06,400
Um, do you, I think, you know, what are you thinking?

283
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:11,440
What do you say in like, especially in your early days in acting as well as now, have

284
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:18,280
you noticed like an improvement to how your treat is an individual as a woman?

285
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,360
Like treated as like, um, like a performer or as a person.

286
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,680
I mean, I think I've always been treated pretty nicely.

287
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:30,080
Um, I think when I was really young, cause I started, like, especially when I went to

288
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,680
acting school, I was only 17.

289
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,400
Um, and so I was one of the youngest people there.

290
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,400
Yeah.

291
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:40,360
I was in the early 20s, even late 20s and I was not even able to drink.

292
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,920
And so I think I was probably still treated very much like a child.

293
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:50,000
Um, but then again, I, I get like the child thing because I'm young or I still get like

294
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,040
the adult thing because I'm so tall, like people don't usually always treat me like

295
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,040
an adult.

296
00:13:54,040 --> 00:14:00,920
Um, but like, I think I've had pretty good experiences, especially on sets because I

297
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,480
haven't worked on that many professional sets.

298
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,360
Um, and I, again, I, I think I've had a lot of experience with that.

299
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:11,480
I think because of the way that I look, people don't always think that they can mess with

300
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:12,480
me.

301
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,560
Like I think they're sometimes a little bit afraid of me and they don't think that I'm

302
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,000
like a soft, sweet person.

303
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:23,640
And so when I'm in like a group, they'll be the one to address me.

304
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,200
They'll ask me the questions.

305
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,320
Um, the one that orders.

306
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:34,960
Um, I'm like, people like, I think wouldn't want to like step on my toes when.

307
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,400
Where, where if they did, I would probably cry.

308
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,960
Cause I know, you know, that's actually probably not true.

309
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:46,720
I'm like very, I can stand up for myself really well, but um, I think maybe just the air that

310
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,440
I give off people don't really, um, want to, I don't know.

311
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,400
I agree with that.

312
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:58,960
I think it's also like, um, I think, I think you're one of those people who, you know,

313
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,960
um, slowly opens up.

314
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:01,960
Yeah.

315
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:07,960
And so, you know, cause we've known each other, you know, to, you know, about two years now.

316
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:13,960
Um, and even then like we've kind of like definitely opened up to each other, but it

317
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,760
has been a slow kind of like, you know, um, getting to know you.

318
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,200
And that's nothing bad, but it, you know, I think immediately, you know, that's probably

319
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,000
cause I think a lot of people have the assumption that people just automatically open like a

320
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000
wide open book.

321
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000
And some people do.

322
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,480
And then like that's great.

323
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:34,760
Um, like again, like I was saying, I had a conversation with my friends at brunch today.

324
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,240
Um, and they were like, yeah, we thought you were a completely different person when we

325
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,240
first met you.

326
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,200
Like cause I met two of my best friends when we were three of us started working at the

327
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,200
same job.

328
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,560
Um, and they're like, yeah, you just, you seemed kind of like a bitch.

329
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,680
You were quiet and then we got to know you and you were really weird and now we love

330
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:53,680
you.

331
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,040
Um, yeah.

332
00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,240
And it's, and it's the reason why I still continue to annoy and work with you.

333
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,240
So all positives.

334
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,240
Um, yeah.

335
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,360
No, no, I 100% agree with that statement as well.

336
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:12,920
I think it's also, um, yeah, you were, you were the, the biggest compliment I think I

337
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:19,120
could give you is just, you are such a delight in, in, in every possible way as a, as a friend

338
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:25,080
and as a person I know, and as an actor and performer, you're just such a delight to be

339
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:29,960
on set with and, and just in generally just talking to and being around.

340
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:35,760
So does it kind of make everything kind of like, um, a breeze because you're so genuine.

341
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:43,000
And I love that you can't take, I don't know what to do with this.

342
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,040
Hit me, hit me again.

343
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,640
I'll just take it then.

344
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,640
Hit you again.

345
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,640
Hit me with a compliment.

346
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,640
I'll take it.

347
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,640
You're like, dammit, I've gotta run from the window.

348
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,640
Yeah.

349
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,640
I'm only got room for one.

350
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,640
I don't want to give you a compliment when you're asking for one.

351
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,640
Yeah.

352
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,640
Sorry, do you mind doing something like Jesus, Jesus fucking Christ.

353
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:16,920
I mean, honestly, I think also, you know, with, with the modeling thing, how old were

354
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,080
you when you got into modeling?

355
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,080
How old?

356
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,720
Um, not very, I wasn't very young.

357
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:28,720
Like I sort of, um, like, double double that here and there, double double.

358
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:33,120
Um, because one of my aunties was into it.

359
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:37,760
And so I would like do like sort of shows with her.

360
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:44,320
And then I think when I was like 18, I said, like signed with my first agency and then

361
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,960
I did a couple of photo shoots, um, which went that fun.

362
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,320
They went that great experiences.

363
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:56,120
I had like my first taste of like, oh, this is not what the glamorous things are.

364
00:17:56,120 --> 00:18:00,200
Um, you know, um, and then I took a break.

365
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:06,240
Then I, you know, did lots of, um, auditions, um, going to casting calls, um, did a couple

366
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,400
of jobs for bumble back in the day.

367
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,400
Um, yeah.

368
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,960
So yeah, I didn't get into it very young.

369
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,000
I think maybe like 18 or 19.

370
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000
Okay.

371
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000
Yeah.

372
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,560
So I wasn't jaded from like a 13 year old age.

373
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,560
Yeah.

374
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,640
And it was like, I do know of this, like people have those stories where they're found on

375
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,640
the streets.

376
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:29,480
So, um, so you were kind of just like, happened to be in it because of, you know, just interest

377
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,480
and, and.

378
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,480
Yeah.

379
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,320
I think it, it truly like modeling was never like an interest of mine.

380
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,320
Yeah.

381
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,480
It was just like what came along with acting.

382
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:38,480
Interesting.

383
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:43,520
Do you think, um, because where's your heart lie in terms of acting?

384
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,640
Is it film?

385
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:45,640
Is it theater?

386
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:46,640
Definitely film.

387
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,640
Yeah.

388
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,240
Um, do you enjoy theater acting now?

389
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,240
Yeah, I do.

390
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:58,480
Um, before I don't think I did when I, before I'd went to acting school and then, um, I

391
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:05,000
did my first performances and I felt my feet on the stage and I felt the lights and, um,

392
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,080
feeling being in front of a live audience and learning how you can just be in a space

393
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:10,080
like that.

394
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,560
I started to really fall in love with it.

395
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:17,080
Um, and I have a definite appreciation for, for theater and screenplays.

396
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,320
Um, and, and playwrights.

397
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,800
They just, it's also beautiful and I love reading plays all the time.

398
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:29,840
Um, but I think my heart will always lie in film, but, um, but yeah, I love theater.

399
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,600
Um, I would take a theater job any day of the week if I'm.

400
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,600
Yeah.

401
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:35,600
Yeah.

402
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,600
No, I love it.

403
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,360
Um, because like how old were you when you got into like all this jazz, like, you know,

404
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,360
the acting world?

405
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:46,680
Um, I, I think I was always really into it.

406
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:51,120
Like I can't remember like a specific like Eureka moment where I was like, oh my God,

407
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,120
acting.

408
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,120
I was always really into it.

409
00:19:53,120 --> 00:20:00,440
Um, I remember I started doing acting classes in year six, um, after school and people were

410
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:01,440
like really surprised.

411
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:07,440
They're like, oh, you're doing the acting classes, but you don't talk.

412
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,080
You don't say anything.

413
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,080
How can you act?

414
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,680
And I was like, no, I really, I want to do it.

415
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,680
I just want to be here.

416
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,760
So even though I didn't talk and I was too shy to get on the stage, I just wanted to be

417
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:21,040
there and see like being the thing.

418
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:29,200
And then I think like around maybe 12 or 13, um, I started going to NIDA and doing the

419
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:33,240
short courses there, like, you know, spring, winter, summer, they had like short courses

420
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:38,200
that you could do for the youths.

421
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:43,840
And then I just went there, I think for every like summer break and went to break or whatever

422
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,200
up until like I was 17.

423
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,200
Wow.

424
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:53,600
And then now, and then what you sort of took the leap into the, yeah, and then I left school

425
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:58,520
and I went to New York Film Academy and I moved from the Blue Mountains to Sydney.

426
00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,520
Wow.

427
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,520
And then never lived in Sydney before.

428
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,520
Never lived in the city.

429
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,640
Then packed up and left and was like, you're 17 year old being like, come off to the city

430
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,640
guy, bye.

431
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,640
You fuckers enjoy high school.

432
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,640
I'm going to drama school.

433
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,640
Oh my God.

434
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,640
Was that the most terrifying thing ever?

435
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:17,640
Yeah.

436
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:18,640
I mean, I had my mom with me.

437
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:19,640
She moved with me.

438
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,640
So that was a lot better because she took a job in Sydney as well.

439
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:28,640
So I mean, I think I would have, it had a lot more anxiety if she didn't come with me.

440
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,640
But it was definitely nerve wracking.

441
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,640
Like I had a panic attack on my first day of school.

442
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,640
And so my mom had to like sit on the train with me and she's like, it's okay.

443
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:37,640
Everything's fine.

444
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,640
Wow.

445
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,640
I was like, okay, bye.

446
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,640
Wow.

447
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:48,440
And then I saw like everyone on orientation day and like when we were like introducing

448
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,640
each other and like saying, oh, hi, I'm Tilly.

449
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,640
I'm Blah, blah, blah, I'm from here.

450
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,640
Nice to meet you all.

451
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:58,640
And I just looked at everyone and everyone looked so different from my small town, my

452
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,640
small, very white town.

453
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,640
They were all older than me.

454
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:03,640
I felt so young.

455
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:08,640
I just felt like I was a completely different world when I was really excited.

456
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,640
That's awesome.

457
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,640
Yeah.

458
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:16,640
I mean, like, I, you know, I find it interesting because yeah, like, you know, they don't, it's

459
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:23,640
not normally what you expect from people who like don't, you know, have anxiety or can

460
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,640
have panic attacks to automatically go into drama.

461
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:31,640
It's a misconception, I'd say.

462
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,800
But yeah, did you feel like that was kind of a confidence thing for you as well to kind

463
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,640
of be someone else?

464
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,640
Like in school?

465
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,640
Yeah, well, just in performing and in school.

466
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:42,640
Oh yeah, definitely.

467
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:48,640
Like, I think that's one of the major reasons why I love acting because it's like I'm stepping

468
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,640
into someone else's shoes.

469
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,640
Like, you know, that character's crying.

470
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:52,640
I'm not crying.

471
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,640
She's not angry.

472
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,640
She's angry.

473
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,640
She's screaming, not me.

474
00:22:55,640 --> 00:23:00,640
I can, they can act however they want to act because that's not me, you know.

475
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:05,640
I'm still, I'm still here not doing anything.

476
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:06,640
Still?

477
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:12,640
So you have that compartmentalization and just go, okay, that's, I can be that for time being.

478
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,640
Yeah.

479
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,640
And I think it's very cathartic that way as well because it's like, oh, I can scream and

480
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:22,640
cry and throw my shoes in the corner because that's the character, but it's like letting

481
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,640
my body do that, letting, you know, because your mind and your body think you're doing

482
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:27,640
it.

483
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,640
Yeah, because you have anxiety as well.

484
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,640
So like, but do you have depression or anything like that?

485
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:43,640
Oh, it comes, I mean, like during high school, like, yeah, definitely.

486
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,640
Not too much more now.

487
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:50,640
I've definitely worked through it a lot, but I get depressive episodes.

488
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,640
Yeah.

489
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,640
But in high school, definitely.

490
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,640
And when I was in drama school, I definitely had depression as well.

491
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,640
It hadn't left.

492
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:03,640
So are you something you sort of like on anxiety meds or anything like that at the moment?

493
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,640
No, I've never taken any sort of medication for it.

494
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:12,640
I was first prescribed prescribed, Jesus.

495
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:19,640
I was prescribed anti depressants when I was 14 and my mom was like, you're not taking

496
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:20,640
those.

497
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:21,640
Like you joking?

498
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,640
Wow.

499
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:27,640
I'm not letting my 14 year old daughter take anti depressants.

500
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,640
And I think it's because like we have like such a big history of mental health in our

501
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,640
family that she was like, you're not getting like attached to them.

502
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,640
You're not going down like a rabbit hole of drugs.

503
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:43,640
Like, we'll sort this through talking.

504
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,640
I mean, like, and like, and, you know, everything works differently for other people, but I

505
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,640
think she was just so terrified of like seeing what it had done to like my family that she

506
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,640
didn't want me to like start at 14.

507
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,640
Yeah.

508
00:24:54,640 --> 00:25:01,640
Like, you know, that's a big thing to have your 14 year old be like, oh no, they're not

509
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:02,640
well.

510
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:03,640
Yeah.

511
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,640
Was that a was that a hard conversation with your mom as well?

512
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,640
So kind of been like, oh no, I don't think it was ever a conversation.

513
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:14,640
Because I remember absolutely having the conversation with my mom about like having depression and

514
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,640
anxiety and she blamed herself and I was like, this is genetic.

515
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,640
This is nothing to do with you.

516
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:21,640
Yeah.

517
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:25,640
Yeah, no, I don't think I mean, like I feel like my mom definitely blamed herself.

518
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,640
There was lots of guilt and back and forth.

519
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:34,640
But I don't know that was never like, hey mom, I'm sad.

520
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:39,640
It was like, my mom was just like, oh, no, I see you're sad.

521
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,640
You're going to see someone fixing this.

522
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,640
And I was like, you know, lots of fighting lots of, you know, I think especially on like

523
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:47,640
the 15, 16 year old mark.

524
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:52,640
Like, I mean, I think every like girl that goes through it, they just become the devil

525
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,640
for at least a year.

526
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,640
Yeah.

527
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,640
And my mom likes to refer to it as like the time that I run away and she like makes it

528
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:00,640
so dramatic.

529
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,640
I'm like, I just went to my nun's house for two weeks.

530
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,640
Okay.

531
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,640
The time you ran away from home.

532
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:12,640
But yeah, there was lots of like, I'm not understanding my own feelings and emotions.

533
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:17,640
But like, because I think there's like such a history of mental health and my mom is so

534
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,640
understanding and she's a childhood teacher.

535
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,640
So she understands how to deal with those things.

536
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:28,640
She knows that and she was just like, okay, try to deal with this in the best way.

537
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,640
But she's like, I know you're not well.

538
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:32,640
Yeah.

539
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:33,640
But yeah.

540
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,640
Do you find that, did you always find it's a struggle to make friends in regards to how

541
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,640
you feel?

542
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,640
Did you ever have that sort of like problem growing up?

543
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,640
Yeah.

544
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:43,640
I mean, I don't think I had like any friends in high school.

545
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,640
I had like friends from different schools.

546
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,640
Like I had two best friends who went to a different school.

547
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,640
But like in my high school, I like, you know, we just like sort of float through different

548
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,640
groups, but no one was like your best friend.

549
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,640
And I think I just, yeah, never really connected with anyone.

550
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:04,640
Didn't really feel understood.

551
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:05,640
Yeah.

552
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:06,640
Yeah.

553
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:11,640
And I just felt really isolated and alone.

554
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,640
Yeah.

555
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,640
Not a fun time in high school.

556
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,640
No, I can definitely relate to that.

557
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:22,640
I remember like, and it was kind of like a running joke.

558
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:28,640
I think about like me just having episodes and I didn't quite understand what was going

559
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,640
on, but a lot of them were just me sort of getting panic attacks and then kind of wanting

560
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,640
to think everyone hated me.

561
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,640
Which, you know, a lot of them I don't speak to.

562
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,640
That says something.

563
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:47,640
But it is interesting because like I remember, and I said this to my psychologist and she

564
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,640
sort of just gave the perfect neck hidden in the nail and head because it was one of those

565
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:56,640
stories that I couldn't identify and what, you know, but I remember when I was about

566
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:04,640
17, 17, 18, I was like the last year of school and I just carried around this little home

567
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,640
little knife.

568
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,640
It was just a little like, like a pocket knife.

569
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,640
Not even it was like a steak knife.

570
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,640
It was just a little steak knife with the little like grills in it.

571
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:21,640
And I remember I was never like, it was never to hurt anyone or anything like that.

572
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:30,640
And I remember saying to her about it and just her response was like, oh, that's really

573
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:31,640
interesting.

574
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,640
And I was like, what do you think it means?

575
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,640
And she was like, well, you were probably, you know, I was, because I said I was feeling

576
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,640
suicidal and everything like that.

577
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,640
And she was like, it's probably because it gave you an option and it was just this thing

578
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:48,640
of just feeling comfortable having that option, but not acting upon it.

579
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,640
And I found that very interesting because it was like, oh, okay.

580
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,640
Because I guess it was having that choice and that control.

581
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,640
And I did this for probably like three weeks, three weeks to a month.

582
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:04,640
And it was just the most random thing because I was like in this unknown stage of my life.

583
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,640
And I felt completely miserable.

584
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,640
I was like, just had no like real connection with anyone.

585
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,640
And I just didn't understand.

586
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:20,640
I think I didn't understand myself, which was one very problematic when you were that young.

587
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:27,640
And I think it was also, you know, I felt like I knew what I wanted to do after school.

588
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,640
And everyone kind of like didn't.

589
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:34,640
So instead of making sense of that, they ridiculed me for knowing what I wanted to do.

590
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:45,640
There was a lot of ridicule for just, I guess, just, you know, when anyone's nice, there was just an easy target and anything like that.

591
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:54,640
So I definitely feel like that was kind of where my depression and my anxiety really was at its worst was year 11 and 12 versus probably any other year.

592
00:29:54,640 --> 00:30:02,640
I think it was always bad, but I don't think it was as bad as when I was like in my late teens, like my 1718 period.

593
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,640
And it was just awful.

594
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:10,640
It was just, you know, everything was anxiety inducing and depressive.

595
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:17,640
And I think I think like most people I stemmed towards alcohol for as a coping mechanism to go and hang with friends.

596
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:22,640
And that was just normal when, you know, we left high school.

597
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,640
And when I say friends, it was just the people who I ended up in the group with.

598
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,640
It wasn't even people I stay in contact or actually.

599
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:30,640
I don't talk to anyone.

600
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:31,640
No, I know.

601
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:32,640
It's not.

602
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:40,640
So that was kind of like my little world until probably like a year after high school, at least.

603
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:46,640
And it was very, I absolutely hated that period so much with a passion.

604
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:51,640
So yeah, I mean, like, I think in terms of all of that.

605
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:57,640
It doesn't make it easy to kind of like, you know, get out of those head spaces.

606
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:08,640
And I know I had a lot of conversations when I doubt about it, who does have depression and is on Zoloth to, you know, deal with it.

607
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:19,640
But he even said like, you know, it's sort of one of those things that once you know, it's just, you know, and yeah, it's just you.

608
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:24,640
I've developed so many better coping mechanisms to deal with it nowadays.

609
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:30,640
But yeah, it's just it's bizarre because that version of me in high school is also completely different.

610
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:37,640
And I'm sure some of the people who I went to high school with, but I've no decided to reseal any of them.

611
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:48,640
Yeah, I mean, because it's like you still have trauma from those things, like they might be completely different and they've changed and moved on and become better people themselves.

612
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,640
But that doesn't change how you feel.

613
00:31:50,640 --> 00:32:00,640
Yeah. I mean, I think with you, like with you, what were you kind of like younger when you were like still at the edge of high school?

614
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:09,640
Were you just kind of very like, how did you feel like, you know, people did see you?

615
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:16,640
I think I was always quite like I always extremely quiet, very introverted.

616
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:23,640
Like I didn't even answer questions when I knew the answer.

617
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:42,640
Yeah, I was just really quiet. I think I was like maybe not the I definitely wasn't the weird kid, like because I had like friends and but I just I don't think I had like enough personality to like be a part of the popular group or to like, like have a best friend, you know,

618
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:50,640
I just was like too quiet for that. And then like, like the two best friends that I did had have ended up moving away in like before.

619
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:57,640
And then I think that like sort of like, yeah, I was like, oh, I've like lost these two people, like who do I find now?

620
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,640
And that's also really hard.

621
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:05,640
But yeah, in like primary school, I was still really quiet, didn't like answering questions.

622
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:13,640
I was too afraid to like talk to teachers. But I also had like really, really abusive teachers in primary school. So that was also like really hard.

623
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:22,640
Yeah, lots of issues in primary school that were like the school's fault and teachers' fault.

624
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:28,640
But yeah, always just been a quiet person, which is, you know, absolutely fine.

625
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:36,640
I mean, do you feel like now versus like even in the last few years, do you feel like you've grown as a person?

626
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:47,640
Yeah, I mean, definitely. I think I've always had like a strong mind and like wanting to talk about things even when I was really young and a quiet person.

627
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:55,640
I think just coming into myself and having opportunity to express that and having the confidence to express that.

628
00:33:55,640 --> 00:34:01,640
Like, oh, I don't care actually what people think about me now, but before I did so much.

629
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,640
Like I only speak when I want to say something that I genuinely want to say.

630
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:24,640
But yeah, I'm definitely more confident now when I just say things, which is why I definitely think I get like my friends often say, I'm so blunt because I'm like quiet and then I'll just say something and they'll be like, oh, Jolieson, shut up.

631
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:29,640
Because I'll be just like silent as death.

632
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,640
And then I'll be like, you sure about that?

633
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,640
She hasn't said anything for an hour.

634
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,640
She says this.

635
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:52,640
Yeah, I think definitely like going overseas and living on my own for the first time and you know, basically like experiencing the New York College scene, like really helped me become the person that I am.

636
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:57,640
And then become confident and discover what I wanted to do on my own.

637
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:05,640
And then going through like lots of different, you know, traumas and grief and you know, I just like started being like, well, fuck everybody else.

638
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,640
I was like, I'm going to say what I want because I'll be dead.

639
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:09,640
Everyone else is going to die.

640
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:10,640
So am I.

641
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:11,640
So does it matter?

642
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,640
Say what you want to say.

643
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:14,640
That's true.

644
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,640
I mean, like honestly, fuck him.

645
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:18,640
Really?

646
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,640
Fuck him.

647
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:20,640
Fuck everyone.

648
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:26,640
I think I just like, yeah, like definitely like the last five years I just stopped being scared.

649
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,640
And it doesn't mean I don't feel fear.

650
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,640
I'm definitely still like, I definitely feel like a lot of fear.

651
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:39,640
But from what I was like, say now 25 from 20, like 20 year old me wouldn't know who I am today.

652
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,640
No, that's interesting.

653
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:49,640
I mean, like, look, I'd say the same about me, which is 25 year old me did not know much about 20 year old me now.

654
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:50,640
30 year old me now.

655
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:57,640
So, you know, I feel like that's the case for most people because you grow, you grow as people were constantly changing.

656
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:02,640
I just had a lovely gulp.

657
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,640
It was a bit of a big one.

658
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:05,640
It was a bit of a bigger.

659
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,640
Yeah, I feel like we're constantly changing.

660
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:14,640
I mean, like literally in the last like five years, I am much more of an outward speaker.

661
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:22,640
I got on top of a lot of my anxiety and depression, which didn't happen prior to that.

662
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:27,640
I came out as queer, which was a big deal because in high school that was a big deal.

663
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,640
Shut down.

664
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:29,640
Yeah.

665
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,640
Very, very hetero school.

666
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:33,640
Yeah.

667
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:38,640
And like, I feel like when you just come out and then just like it's like a big way off of your shoulder.

668
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:39,640
Yeah.

669
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,640
I mean, like, and it's weird.

670
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:42,640
It's weird.

671
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,640
I was going to ask you about like, where do you sit on the spectrum of everything?

672
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:47,640
What are you?

673
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:48,640
What are you?

674
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,640
No, that sounded so aggressive.

675
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,640
I am so sorry.

676
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:53,640
No, but I'm curious.

677
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,640
Where do you sit on the home?

678
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,640
I don't like ever label myself as anything.

679
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:05,640
I'll be just be like, I mean, again, everyone has heterosexual like ingrained in them.

680
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:06,640
Yeah.

681
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,640
You know, but yeah, I don't think I'll really ever label myself as anything.

682
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,640
But if I like fall in love with someone or like want to date someone, doesn't matter.

683
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:14,640
I love that.

684
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:15,640
Yeah.

685
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:20,640
You're such a like, because like, you know, just an enigma, but it's great.

686
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,640
It's the best kind of enigma.

687
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:23,640
I'd love that.

688
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,640
I feel like more people are doing that nowadays as well, which is less labeling because I

689
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:32,640
remember like when we went to high school and at least school, everyone was going, I need

690
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:33,640
to label.

691
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:34,640
I need to.

692
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,640
And I got into that point as well where I actually labels.

693
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:42,640
I really do because they're so, I mean, I think they can be like so helpful for someone to

694
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,640
like really help identify what they feel.

695
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:50,640
And so I think when like they like, I like this label, this is what fits for me.

696
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,640
This is like how I can identify myself to people.

697
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,640
Yeah.

698
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:55,640
That's like a really beautiful thing.

699
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,640
But I don't think, at least for me, I don't think I've ever felt the need to do that.

700
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:04,640
I felt like I like, I think I probably attribute most of that to my mom.

701
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:08,640
Like she was always like, well, it doesn't matter what you love.

702
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,640
Like, you know, anything's okay.

703
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,640
Like if you love anyone, it doesn't matter.

704
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,640
You know, safe space, safe space, babe.

705
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,640
Like it's all good.

706
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,640
And so I don't think like, you know, we've never had the talk or anything.

707
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,640
But if I was like, mom, I, this is my girlfriend.

708
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:24,640
Yeah.

709
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,640
She'd be like, oh, okay.

710
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:28,640
All right.

711
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:35,640
So she's like, yeah, cause I often wonder that as well, because like look, I think

712
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,640
my mom would have been a bit surprised, but she probably would have been fine with it as well.

713
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,640
Like it's one of those things that the conversation just never came up.

714
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,640
But yeah, like, I mean, that's good.

715
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:46,640
Positive mom.

716
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:47,640
Yeah.

717
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:52,640
I mean, I think it would be less more surprising if I just bought someone home in general.

718
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:53,640
Yeah.

719
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:58,640
I mean, like, you know, cause there's a, does that thing, and I want to, I do want to touch on this.

720
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:16,640
Does that thing happen a lot where people automatically think you're a big aggressive data or anything like that or make that assumption that you're, because knowing you and now knowing you have very little interest in that world of, you know, going on lots of dates.

721
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,640
Like, how does that turn around to people?

722
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,640
Do you get a lot of people approach you for dates?

723
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:22,640
No.

724
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:23,640
No.

725
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:31,640
Again, I think it's like, I feel really conceited when I say it's like a whole intimidation thing.

726
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,640
Don't sound, you are not considered at all.

727
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:43,640
But like, yeah, I just, I get lots of guys like saying they find me very intimidating.

728
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,640
And so I think they like don't like intimidating women.

729
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:54,640
I think they have a lot of straight men again, grossed realisation and whatever, but like they like easy pickings.

730
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,640
Easy pickings.

731
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,640
They're like easy pickings.

732
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,640
They like, you know, soft, mouldable women.

733
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,640
Like, mouldable.

734
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:06,640
In like a, you know, when you're going out, most of like the sleazy guys on the scene.

735
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:12,640
And I get so many guys like, especially older tall men, or even like shorter men, they'll come up to me like, they're like, you're a tall man?

736
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,640
Hello?

737
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:14,640
Wow.

738
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:19,640
And I'll be like, oh my God, I didn't know I was tall until you just told me that.

739
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,640
Thank you.

740
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:21,640
And they'll be like, you're really tall.

741
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:22,640
You're intimidating.

742
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:23,640
Did you know that?

743
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:24,640
My name's Greg.

744
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:25,640
My name's Tom.

745
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:26,640
Hello.

746
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:27,640
And I'll be like, okay.

747
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:28,640
And they're like, yeah, you intimidate me.

748
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:29,640
I'm going to go away now.

749
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,640
Like I've had that conversation many times.

750
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,640
And I'll be like, okay.

751
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,640
And then they just walk away.

752
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,640
Wow.

753
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:43,640
And then, and then they'll be like, I bet you get asked out all the time.

754
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,640
And they'll be like, I'm not even the point at me asking you out.

755
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,640
I'm just going to like go away now.

756
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:48,640
Yeah.

757
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,640
And then, yeah.

758
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,640
So I think, no.

759
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,640
And maybe it's also part of the resting bitch face where I'm like, don't approach me.

760
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,640
I mean, look, that could be a tactic.

761
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:07,640
And if you want to sell it strong and you want to say that the resting bitch face is the reason that I don't get the drop kicks coming towards me.

762
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:09,640
I'm like, yes, use that to your advantage.

763
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:10,640
But absolutely.

764
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,640
I mean, like, that's so bizarre.

765
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:23,640
I still find that incredibly bizarre that our society, because societal structure on women, you know, especially is just like, do you think, do you get more of it?

766
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:32,640
Like, do you ever get like, you know, people going, you look ethnic though, or you look, you know, never, never.

767
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,640
They will say it to me when I've said it to them.

768
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,640
I'll be like, yeah, I'm Sri Lankan.

769
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,640
And I'll be like, I see it now.

770
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,640
And be like, do you?

771
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,640
I bet you do because I've said it.

772
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,640
And the comment they'll always make is, it's the eyebrows.

773
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:48,640
I say it in the eyebrows.

774
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:49,640
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the eyebrows.

775
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,640
Like, oh, my eyebrows are ethnic.

776
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:52,640
Okay.

777
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,640
My thick eyebrows.

778
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,640
Wow, people are ourselves.

779
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:02,640
I think they just want to say something to not sound like they were, you know, making a generalization.

780
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:13,640
Because obviously I have really pale white skin, so they're not going to be like, oh, you could be a part of, you know, any culture other than Caucasian.

781
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:14,640
Yeah.

782
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,640
Caucasian sort of culture.

783
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,640
It's just a color.

784
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:23,640
But yeah, so when I tell people, I'm like, oh yeah, my background's Sri Lankan.

785
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:24,640
I'm half Sri Lankan.

786
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:25,640
I'll be like, really?

787
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:26,640
Oh my God, no.

788
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:29,640
Now that you've said that, the eyebrows, no, I see it in the eyebrows.

789
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:35,640
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then like, or if they see me and they've met my mom, they'll be like, you know, I think you two really look alike.

790
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,640
My mom will be like, you don't look alike.

791
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:38,640
Really?

792
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:46,640
Yeah, like she'll be like, you know, you're just saying that just be nice, but we don't look alike whatsoever.

793
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:47,640
Wow.

794
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,640
I mean, sometimes I think we do a little bit like we have similar smiles.

795
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:51,640
Yeah.

796
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:56,640
Sort of similar face shapes, but my mom will be like, you just haven't seen her white side of the family.

797
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,640
That's all.

798
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:58,640
Wow.

799
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,640
Then you'd know that she doesn't look anything like that.

800
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,640
Because like, is your mom's skin fairly dark?

801
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:05,640
Wow.

802
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:06,640
Yeah.

803
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:12,640
That's like, I mean, I do, it's very common as well, which was like, I had a conversation,

804
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:17,640
one of my coworkers, his family, he's dark skinned, he's from Canada.

805
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,640
And his wife is obviously Caucasian.

806
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:27,640
They recently had a kid and that was one of the conversations that happened, which was, oh, what colors the child could be.

807
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:34,640
And I'm like, I don't know a healthy color of, you know, just anything like that conversation.

808
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:45,640
Because yeah, I do find it interesting that, you know, like that people kind of try and find like this, you know, you know, phase of ethnicity.

809
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:51,640
I mean, is what do you just give a consider yourself like white passing in that regard?

810
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,640
Like what's your, what do you think of that term as well?

811
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,640
White passing in your like life?

812
00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:04,640
I mean, like, I'm definitely white passing because like I strongly identify with being Sri Lankan because I only grew up with my Sri Lankan side of the family.

813
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:09,640
I don't, I didn't grow up with like any white Caucasian people.

814
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:14,640
But I see how I'm treated versus how my mom and my Nana treated.

815
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:22,640
Like I get treated differently and how, you know, like when we go through airport security, they're like, Tleasing, go first.

816
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,640
Go on, go first. You're white, go first.

817
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:35,640
And then I get, you know, I get the nice treatment and then, you know, they see my mom and my Nan and my mom and my Nan and not just, you know, to, you know, random brown ladies, they get treated nicer.

818
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:36,640
Wow.

819
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,640
So I definitely get things that they don't get.

820
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:48,640
Even when I was, you know, a kid and they would hear my Nan's very, very strong accent, they would like direct all their questions to me because they would think that she's stupid.

821
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,640
And so like, I definitely have white privilege.

822
00:44:51,640 --> 00:45:00,640
Like, you know, I'm like, you know, I don't get any sort of the racism that they have to deal with.

823
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,640
That's, wow, that's extraordinary.

824
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:10,640
Yeah. But like, and I would always get like in school, are you adopted? Are you adopted?

825
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:14,640
So like, that doesn't mean like the brunt of like the things that I have to deal with.

826
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:20,640
And just like not really being accepted as a Sri Lankan because they're like, oh, but what's your dad?

827
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:21,640
What's he?

828
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,640
What is he?

829
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,640
What's he? Like, is he white? Oh, okay, it makes sense now.

830
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,640
So you're only half, you know, they have to make up.

831
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:29,640
They really have to find a number of what you are.

832
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,640
They have to like find a pigeonhole number.

833
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,640
You know, you're 50, 50, what are you like?

834
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,640
What more percentage are you?

835
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:41,640
They need to like find something to like see what they're seeing and put you in the box.

836
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,640
That's appalling.

837
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:49,640
Like, I, because yeah, like,

838
00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:54,640
are you particularly also like in terms of like height difference and stuff as well?

839
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,640
Tall, a lot taller than your mom?

840
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:04,640
She's pretty tall for Sri Lankan too, because her dad, my grandfather is pretty tall for Sri Lankan.

841
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,640
Like he's definitely one of the taller ones in our family.

842
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:10,640
He's like six foot. So she's five, seven.

843
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,640
Right. Okay.

844
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,640
But she's like, that was always the tallest one in our family.

845
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,640
And I came along, but yeah.

846
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:24,640
So like it's not the biggest height difference, but like compared me, compared to the rest of my family,

847
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:28,640
like my aunties, I dwarf them fully dwarf them.

848
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,640
Yeah. Wow.

849
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:37,640
I mean, like that, I think it's also like, you know, this, this common culture that we live in,

850
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:42,640
especially in Australia, and it's, you know, I hear it always, you know,

851
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:47,640
that I feel like culture is coming into our media a bit more, but it's such a slow progression because, you know,

852
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:54,640
we've got channels that obviously are very white and a lot of our leaders are very white and a lot of our life, you know,

853
00:46:54,640 --> 00:47:00,640
like, unless you go to pockets like the inner west and stuff, because growing out in the blue mountains,

854
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,640
it's like one of the whitest white places ever.

855
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,640
Yeah. Like how was that?

856
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,640
Yeah, it's a bit like still pretty white. I mean, it's a bit different now, but especially growing up,

857
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:15,640
I think like when my nan moved there, they were like, like the only brown family.

858
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:17,640
Wow.

859
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:23,640
They didn't see any people of color. I think my nan was saying it was her and like one other Asian family.

860
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:30,640
And even like when they first moved to Australia, she's, my mum always tells me this story, like when they first moved here,

861
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:40,640
and they were living in like the outer west, their neighbours would like throw garbage in their front garden.

862
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:43,640
But the mountains, yeah, the mountains is like really white.

863
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:49,640
And my mum tried to put me into primary school. It was a Catholic school that had nuns.

864
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:56,640
They don't have nuns anymore, but they took everyone else from our mother's group, but not me.

865
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:03,640
And my mum's like, well, why can't, why is everyone else of my, you know, friend group getting their kids into this school, but not me?

866
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:10,640
Like, we all know why. And then like, so she was really like honing, like, like having this conversation with this man.

867
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:15,640
She's like, right, well, I can see you're going to be a problem mother, so your kid can just come in.

868
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:16,640
Wow.

869
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,640
And then when my mum's like, no, she's not, she's going somewhere else.

870
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:20,640
Wow.

871
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,640
You know, making it really difficult.

872
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:28,640
Because yeah, your mum sounds like a powerhouse. Like she's just a very headstrong, which is good.

873
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:29,640
Yeah.

874
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:34,640
Yeah, she's like, is there a lot of like independent women in your family?

875
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:41,640
Yeah. Yeah, I think like four generations of single women raising their children.

876
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:42,640
What?

877
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:43,640
What?

878
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:44,640
Yeah.

879
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,640
Because you're an only child, aren't you?

880
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:55,640
And then my, my nan has seven brothers and sisters that she basically will raised. And then she also had four children.

881
00:48:55,640 --> 00:49:01,640
And then so yeah, my nan raised her seven brothers and sisters along with her mum.

882
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:14,640
And then raised her four kids with my mum being the youngest. And then my nan also raised my auntie's son because my auntie had her son at 19 and basically raised my cousin.

883
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,640
And then also raised me.

884
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:17,640
Wow.

885
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:18,640
Yeah.

886
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:23,640
So like, because what happened to your dad? Did it, was he just left?

887
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:30,640
No, my mum broke up with him before I was born. She was like, you're a shit person. Don't like you. You're an alcoholic.

888
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:31,640
Wow.

889
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:38,640
You're going to be, you're just not for me. And then promptly found out that she was pregnant.

890
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,640
Oh.

891
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:47,640
And then she was like, look, I'm pregnant. I'm going to keep it do what you want, but I'm having it. And then he was like, okay.

892
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:55,640
And then I saw him a couple of times when I was growing up and I never called him dad. I don't think I've said the word dad to anyone in my life.

893
00:49:55,640 --> 00:50:05,640
And I was just like, I would go and visit them and he put like no one on that side of the family ever came in, visited our house in the Blue Mountains.

894
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:16,640
And I was like, I think like one year I was like, mum was like, do you want to go down, down south? And she was like, no, I'm good.

895
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,640
And then just never heard from him again.

896
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:20,640
Wow.

897
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:21,640
Yeah.

898
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,640
That's look, it's not a bad thing.

899
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:24,640
No.

900
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:25,640
No.

901
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:34,640
Yeah. I like that's, that's really interesting as well because like, do you feel like you had not a lot of good male figures in your life?

902
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:38,640
Oh, no, I definitely had my, because I had my poppy growing up.

903
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:39,640
Yeah.

904
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:51,640
And so he was like my, my nuns, they never were married, but she like, so she had like after her divorce, she like met my poppy and he's from Yugoslavia.

905
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:52,640
Oh, lovely.

906
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:53,640
Yeah.

907
00:50:53,640 --> 00:51:01,640
And so I always had him. So he was like my parental figure to my mum and me. So he's like our father together.

908
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:02,640
Aww.

909
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,640
Yeah. My mum didn't really have one either. So he did everything for us.

910
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:07,640
Wow.

911
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:18,640
You know, taught me all about, you know, cars, maths, how to fix light bulbs, how to start a lawn mower, you know, all the vinyl scales, all the dad things.

912
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:19,640
Yes.

913
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:21,640
How did my first beer with him, you know.

914
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:22,640
Wow.

915
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:23,640
Yeah.

916
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,640
Lots of videos of me being like four years old and he's like, have a beer.

917
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:27,640
Cute.

918
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,640
It was a mildly terrifying.

919
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:31,640
Yeah.

920
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:32,640
Yeah.

921
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:47,640
And like, cause that's good though, because I feel like, you know, when you're an only child, especially when you haven't had your dad in, in the picture at all, or the person who's meant to be your dad, which, you know, it kind of makes it a little bit difficult.

922
00:51:47,640 --> 00:52:00,640
So it was good that he was around and also like your, your, you know, your family is such it's powerhouse of women that can do this and go, you know, like it and don't and break the social norms, which is, you know,

923
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:01,640
not very common.

924
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:02,640
Yeah.

925
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:09,640
No, I never ever felt like I missed out on anything like I never had sort of like a like, oh, what if, what am I missing?

926
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,640
Like what's, what is my father like?

927
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:12,640
What's, what's on that side?

928
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,640
I never had any sort of things like that.

929
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,640
And a lot of people ask me like, are you not curious?

930
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:26,640
And I have absolutely no curiosity because I was so filled with love and my life was so just completely filled to the brim with anything that I needed.

931
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:27,640
Yeah.

932
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:33,640
And you're like, you said my women in my life are just powerhouses of women, like they run the ship.

933
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:34,640
Yeah.

934
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:39,640
And so I definitely felt like I didn't need a man to do anything.

935
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,640
And same, same with my Poppy too.

936
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,640
Like he was just like, you don't need a man.

937
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:45,640
What are you doing?

938
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:46,640
No, no, no.

939
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:55,640
I mean, like, I absolutely say that in you and I see the trade in you because you are very, you know, just, you're very much a powerhouse.

940
00:52:55,640 --> 00:53:02,640
You do everything like, you know, because you write and you, you know, you act and you, you want to make stuff and do everything.

941
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:10,640
And you are so fiercely independent that I can see that trade like, bleed off, which is great.

942
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:14,640
I mean, like, because I guess it's also like not common.

943
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:17,640
It's not a very common thing to have.

944
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,640
I mean, look, I didn't have the most.

945
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:21,640
I didn't know.

946
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:25,640
I'm sorry.

947
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:27,640
Most polite little cough.

948
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:30,640
I didn't have the most like normal upbringing.

949
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:31,640
My dad worked from home.

950
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,640
My mom worked in an office.

951
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,640
And so like it was very different.

952
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,640
Like mom would come home late dad would be home looking after the kids.

953
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:41,640
That's how I grew up.

954
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:42,640
So it was very different.

955
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,640
It was very like swap the gender roles around.

956
00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:53,640
And I know like if I think even now it's like that comparison.

957
00:53:53,640 --> 00:54:00,640
I, you know, still weeds people out because everyone's like, oh, that's, you know, wasn't your dad teaching you like how to fix a car.

958
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:01,640
I'm like, nope.

959
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:05,640
Had no interest in fixing cars and neither did he.

960
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:11,640
So I didn't have any of that proper father upbringing.

961
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:15,640
I basically like had a proper father.

962
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,640
I know, right?

963
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,640
What is, what is being a proper person?

964
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,640
But I mean, like it is very much like that.

965
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,640
I just never had that kind of like social.

966
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:34,640
And I think also like my, I went to school with a fairly mixed range of people.

967
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:38,640
The inner West wasn't too bad in terms of like white, just only white people.

968
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:42,640
It was one of the poorer areas back in the 90s and early 2000s.

969
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:48,640
It was considered just on the cusp because you had sorry, I'm sorry, Hills, which was very rich.

970
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:54,640
And then you kind of the further out of the city you got the four of you, you know, you're obviously well self-worth was and now everywhere is fucking rich.

971
00:54:54,640 --> 00:55:00,640
It's just basically all the way, all the way down until you basically get to Western, Western Sydney.

972
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:05,640
And then you just keep going a bit further until you get the towns and then they're all fucking rich now.

973
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,640
I know you just can't go anywhere without the new couple of minutes.

974
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:09,640
No, I know.

975
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:17,640
But I mean, like back in the, you know, the early 90s, I remember just distinctly like one of my best friends, she was indigenous.

976
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:22,640
Her family were so amazing and so lovely.

977
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,640
And we just hung out all the time.

978
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:29,640
And it was one of those conversations I just found it baffling how we were treated differently.

979
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:32,640
And I was like, well, you know, we're the same people.

980
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:36,640
I guess like, and it's, you know, like entirely wrong.

981
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:46,640
But until probably I was about like left school, I was completely just unaware of that, you know, cultural divide and how, you know, like racism as a whole.

982
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:56,640
Because, you know, commonly it was taught in very different ways and now it's very obligatory like racism and favoritism and everything.

983
00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:05,640
But now, you know, and that I think really stems into the divide of the older generation, especially the older white generation and the older privileged generation.

984
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:24,640
And, you know, obviously you both, you and I are in a privileged position because and, and I say this as well, commonly, even though I am, you know, feel, you know, non gender specific, I feel very much more feminine and everything.

985
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:37,640
And that's how I identify versus physically being a guy that still then gives me the leverage, which is over anyone as being perceived as a white guy in society.

986
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:40,640
Like that's fucked. That's completely fucked.

987
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:54,640
You know, and the fact that, you know, even though you're Sri Lankan, you know, you're white passing and that is considered a privileged angle to you over your family is nuts.

988
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:55,640
Yeah.

989
00:56:55,640 --> 00:57:09,640
And, and I don't think in, you know, and especially because, you know, like in the acting world and the creative world, you know, we're likely to get more stuff because what you know, it's what commonly people see.

990
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:18,640
Where like, you know, white. So therefore it's more, you know, acceptable. Like, does that irritate you that angle as well?

991
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,640
That like the more acceptable. Yeah.

992
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:21,640
Yeah.

993
00:57:21,640 --> 00:57:26,640
Like I would love to go up for Sri Lankan things.

994
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:38,640
But it's like, it's still not at a place where, you know, they're different. I don't know. I think that like, they're, that definitely needs to be more colour on screen.

995
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:51,640
I think there's, you know, if you're casting like a Sri Lankan or a black person, they definitely look at like lighter skins. You know, they don't even go with like the darker skin people because it's all about the aesthetic.

996
00:57:51,640 --> 00:58:03,640
You know, they're not looking about, you know, actually inclusivity. It's all about aesthetic and trying to fill a hole.

997
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:04,640
Yeah.

998
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:20,640
But yeah, it's definitely frustrating when I'm like the, the norm. I'm the norm when I'm not the norm, you know, because I'm in this family and then, you know, yeah, I'm, you know, just because I was born with less melanin than my family.

999
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:26,640
I'm culturally and socially Sri Lankan, but I have no melanin.

1000
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:46,640
No. And you, I know, I know this because I remember the first conversation we had was about the fact that you were Sri Lankan. I remember distinctly as well. You were talking about a story that you wanted to tell, which was about your family and about, you know, like, just that perspective and, you know, everything.

1001
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:52,640
Because you, you, you write stories kind of a bit, quite a bit culturally based, don't you?

1002
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:55,640
Is that,

1003
00:58:55,640 --> 00:59:02,640
I mean, like, obviously you're planning to make this, are you directing this film and like, is that the plan?

1004
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:12,640
I'm planning to, yeah. I'm very nerve wracking. I like, I think I'm probably going to shit myself when I end up directing this. Yeah.

1005
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,640
But yeah, I think that I think that's what I'm going to do.

1006
00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:25,640
I'm, I don't think I was ever interested in directing before, but like, because I'm so attached to this, I think if I gave it over to anyone else, I'd be like, in their ear, micromanaging me and being like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

1007
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:31,640
I think they should go here. I think you should do this. Have you thought about doing this? Let's do this. Yeah. Yeah. That I might just want to do it myself. Yeah.

1008
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:37,640
Because like, how, when are you planning to make it? Do you have a sort of like, idea date?

1009
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:49,640
No. I've only just finished the script. So like, I mean, like, I'm having like a coach session with my coach and my writing group on Tuesday.

1010
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:56,640
So I'm sure she'll be like, right, what's the next steps that we need to take? Let's, let's go do this. Is he? Yeah. Yeah. Is he going to help me?

1011
00:59:56,640 --> 01:00:02,640
And she can be like, what's the next step? What's the next step? What are you going to do? What are you going to, when are you going to achieve? She's great.

1012
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:12,640
But I'm sure it'll be like, start to work on the pitch and crowdfunding and, you know. Yeah. And sourcing crew and everything. Yeah.

1013
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:24,640
Yeah. And like, figuring out like the budget and all of those fun things. It's a stress. It's a stress. I have like quite a few people that I already want to work with.

1014
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:32,640
But they're already so busy, you know, and I'm glad I have friends in the industry that are already willing to give me their time.

1015
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:39,640
I think it's just like finding cinematographers that I want to work with that are like, they're going to see my vision. Yeah.

1016
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:48,640
I'm finding the actors that I want because I already have actors in mind that I'm going to be like, well, I hope you're not doing anything. I want you.

1017
01:00:48,640 --> 01:01:01,640
Yeah. Please be available between these dates and here. Yeah. That's that's that's exciting though. I'm like, because yeah, it's I remember you telling me about this like ages ago.

1018
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:08,640
I was before it was even like your jotted notes down. I don't think it was like a fully fledged idea. You had an outline.

1019
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:10,640
I don't know how I've done it.

1020
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:19,640
I mean, I definitely attribute it mostly to Izzy because like when I started working with her, she was like, come on board. Like I know you have lots of ideas.

1021
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:26,640
And I was like, yeah, come on board. I like, I'll just sit in, you know, in this group and like, yeah, long.

1022
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:34,640
Now six months later and I have a full script and I'm probably going to like gear up to like, you know, pitch and crowdfund.

1023
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:38,640
I mean, like, is it you've actually made me make something? What have you done to me?

1024
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:47,640
I know she's a little bit of a powerhouse as well. Like I did. I love the fact that she just kind of like wills people into doing it.

1025
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:56,640
Oh, she's just so motivating. Yeah. Yeah, I love her. She just restructures people and yeah, she goes here. These are the things you need to do.

1026
01:01:56,640 --> 01:02:04,640
Yeah. And she just does exactly what you need as a person. Yeah. She's like, right, go and get this done. No, like coddling like you go did this done.

1027
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:11,640
And then she's like, right, we need a little bit more of like sit down time like hand on chest. Like let's, you know, meditate with this feeling.

1028
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:19,640
That's, you know, in our brains. Yeah. You know, she's just so intuitive. Yeah. And that's why she runs a great coaching thing online.

1029
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:26,640
So people go and check that out because it is worthwhile. And no, she's one of my favorite people in the whole world.

1030
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:38,640
I do love her to be it. But yeah, no, it's just nuts because that I know, you know, you skyrocketing at this stage, you might have a film under your belt next year.

1031
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:45,640
If not the year after who knows when but you know, like that's exciting. Yeah.

1032
01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:50,640
I don't know when I'll do it. I might even do it by the end of this year.

1033
01:02:50,640 --> 01:03:00,640
I know that's because like from the other people who are in my group to have already finished their crowdfunding one, we've finished their whole film.

1034
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:03,640
Wow. Yeah.

1035
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:06,640
And the others like getting into their process of crowdfunding.

1036
01:03:06,640 --> 01:03:11,640
Because I mean, like three of them are Americans and I think they need to crowdfund before they film it. Yeah.

1037
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:16,640
It's like, and I'm just wondering what process I want to take first if I want to crowdfund before I film it.

1038
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:24,640
Yeah. Sometimes it's a very tricky thing because I feel like if you crowdfund, basically, you've always got to kind of like do half and half.

1039
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:28,640
Yeah. It's an investment filmmaking is an investment. Yeah.

1040
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:34,640
The mines are like pretty simple like my the whole film that house. So like, I'm not, you know, I don't need different locations or anything.

1041
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:39,640
Yeah. So it's just be like spending probably two or three grand on a really fancy house.

1042
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:41,640
A really fancy house.

1043
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:46,640
Yeah. Probably not. Yeah. Be ecstatic, aesthetically beautiful.

1044
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,640
Aesthetically pleasing. Yeah. And you're going to be in it as well.

1045
01:03:49,640 --> 01:03:55,640
No, I'm not in it at all. I mean, I might like write myself into like a maid role or something.

1046
01:03:55,640 --> 01:04:01,640
But no, I'm going to call someone that looks Sri Lankan.

1047
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:09,640
I mean, I'm Sri Lankan, but I don't think it's good. So it doesn't necessarily work out the way that it should dialogue wise.

1048
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:14,640
Yeah. No, that's fair. That's fair. And that's exciting.

1049
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:20,640
Yeah. I'm like, I've been waiting for this moment like for you to do that. So I'm very excited.

1050
01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:24,640
I know, I know like it just seemed like a pipe dream originally.

1051
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:37,640
Yeah. No, it definitely did. I think especially when I was first talking about it, I was like, well, I have many ideas, but like, they're just ideas, you know, but now at once, you know, and I'm very attached to this.

1052
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:45,640
I'm very proud of what I've written. Yeah. I had like 25 pages and then he's gotten me to whittle it down to I think 12.

1053
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:52,640
Jesus. So it's definitely now more doable than, you know, having 25 pages, a lot of pages. Yeah.

1054
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:56,640
I was on my way to just making a feature. Yeah. Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing.

1055
01:04:56,640 --> 01:05:03,640
No, I need pages later. Oh, fuck. But it was 25 pages in like one scene. I was like, well, no one's going to watch it 25.

1056
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:20,640
You know, like someone out there. I like, are you hoping to like, are you a bit nervous about like people seeing your work in terms because how are you reflect reflective of your own work, especially when it comes to performing versus like writing and directing?

1057
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:31,640
I don't know because I haven't really like, no, I haven't done it yet. I haven't really yet. The only people who've ever read my writing is the other women in my group.

1058
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:39,640
And so I don't know how I'm going to take it yet. But I think I'm really proud of it. So I think I'm excited for people to see it.

1059
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:53,640
Yeah. And I think, yeah, I think I'm more nervous when people can see me act because it's like me on like my face and then me like them bearing my soul in like a different version.

1060
01:05:53,640 --> 01:06:03,640
You know, very gentle. Bearing my soul. But you know, like, don't look at, you know, how my vein boulders over here when I'm crying, you know, like, you know, all those sort of things.

1061
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:10,640
Yeah. But I'm sure like when the film is made, I'll be like, what does everybody think you like?

1062
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:25,640
Okay. I'll say, you know, I can just like, just a little knife like threatening people's shoulders just going. Yeah. That we I mean, like, I think you'll be a very good director.

1063
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:36,640
Like, I think that's what I'm most nervous about being a good director. Yeah. I mean, what have you taken from your experiences being directed? Are you kind of like cherry picking the yeah, that you like?

1064
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:47,640
I think I'm gonna like maybe do a few online courses about directing and learning something. But I think it's just I think I'm gonna take a very, very light back approach.

1065
01:06:47,640 --> 01:07:02,640
Because I don't like being micromanaged at all. I don't like being like, do this, do this, do that, do this, you know, yeah, I like just being like, right, this is how we're going to set up the shot. Have fun.

1066
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:15,640
I mean, I like I love, I love directing you because it's so easy, because also you just kind of do it. And I can let you just kind of be you when you kind of just do anything with a role and make it fun.

1067
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:28,640
But I think it's also like, I can't wait to give you something where I know I can, you know, like, and I know we've talked about this for a while, but I can't wait to give you something like that, that I've written, which kind of breaks you.

1068
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:41,640
Oh my God, which is always I think the favorite thing of a director whether just like I want to see you cry and and be destroyed by the script. But it's kind of like the thing that says I'm more of a disfuck I think it does.

1069
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:47,640
Um, good God. Why? Because you think like the other things you've given me are too easy for me?

1070
01:07:47,640 --> 01:08:07,640
Sometimes. I think it's also like, I mean, also, because I think there's always more to get in terms of performance. I don't like and I like working with people. It's like, you know, we have a very similar approach in how we, you know, like work.

1071
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:28,640
Whereas sometimes, you know, sometimes you get to set and some people are very garingly different and they're like, I need to give, I need to be known exactly what I'm doing at every step of the way. And I'm like, I can't give you all the notes because you know, the other 20 actors, or like 10 actors that are here or you know, how many actors you have don't work that way.

1072
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:33,640
Like, you know, they're everyone's a bit different. Like, I think, you know, everyone works bossily.

1073
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:34,640
Yeah.

1074
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:36,640
Like a challenge.

1075
01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:46,640
Yeah. That's why I think like the best people to work with someone that be like, well, like teachers, you know, they see how differently their students react in different ways. Be like, right, this person needs this.

1076
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:58,640
Yeah. That person needs this. This is how I can communicate with this person. Yeah. You know, and I think that's the same directors. You know, they see how each director is like each actor like needs different things. Someone needs more hand holding.

1077
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:05,640
Someone needs to be left alone more. Yeah. And then that's how you get the best performance out of each actor because each person is an individual.

1078
01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:21,640
Yeah. I think I think like anything that I've directed, I get some of them like sending me notes just of what they think of the character and I love that. And then like, you know, obviously, you know, you present what's on the page when you kind of like do your thing with it and then deliver it.

1079
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:34,640
And it's very like, it's fun. It's always kind of like, I think it's also you just really get people. I think the strength that you have as a performer and as an actor is you really, you have questions, but they're not like,

1080
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:55,640
you get the character, you understand that moment or what's going on. And then the only questions you have are about the context, like a few bits of context question, but it's not like an overall like, I need to know all these 10 dot points and you know, the nitty gritty.

1081
01:09:55,640 --> 01:10:08,640
Yeah, I would hope they know my character. I mean, like on some level, I hope I do my, you know, my backstory and my script analysis as well. Got enough bloody training to do my script analysis.

1082
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:15,640
I mean, do you have you ever sort of being on a set where you've just been questioned entirely about your performance?

1083
01:10:17,640 --> 01:10:18,640
No.

1084
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:22,640
No?

1085
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:23,640
That's good.

1086
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:25,640
Like about like what I'm doing.

1087
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:37,640
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I know some of them. I've never, I've been on set where you know, like people just, you know, like they're great actors and then some people are just going, no, no, no, I change it exactly like they've had a very controlling director with it.

1088
01:10:37,640 --> 01:10:39,640
I've been in classes like that.

1089
01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:40,640
Yeah.

1090
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:48,640
But usually the people who are doing it like that, directors who don't see and they see in their vision.

1091
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:49,640
Yeah.

1092
01:10:49,640 --> 01:11:01,640
And they're like, no, do it like this. Like, well, that's, I mean, and it's in the class, you know, and I like to say, well, no matter anyone's interpretation of the scene is never wrong.

1093
01:11:01,640 --> 01:11:02,640
Yeah.

1094
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:13,640
Like you can do it in any different way and it's okay. Like it might not be the intended way, but you can be like, okay, we'll try it like this. You know, it doesn't have to be in like the way you're envisioning it.

1095
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:18,640
And it doesn't mean that that person is also completely wrong.

1096
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:26,640
And also just like let people learn, you know, learn through trial and error and be like, okay, this is what works. This is what doesn't.

1097
01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:32,640
Let's help, let's, you know, sort of mesh these two things together and be like, right, stop there, wrong, fix this.

1098
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:41,640
You know, but some people just, I don't know, some people just help them to be directors.

1099
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:45,640
And I mean, I also think some people just shouldn't be acting teachers.

1100
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:50,640
I just think some people should change jobs in careers.

1101
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:51,640
Yeah.

1102
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:56,640
If you're not good at dealing with people in a creative sense, don't be a creative.

1103
01:11:56,640 --> 01:12:07,640
How are you, like, have you now like in your corner career as well, like God, you always talk about having a list of people that you sort of like go to and you know, you love working with.

1104
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:14,640
Is there any sort of experiences that you were like, I'm definitely never ever again working with these people.

1105
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:25,640
I worked on a project at the end of last year that like some people like acted very immaturely.

1106
01:12:25,640 --> 01:12:30,640
And I was like, okay, I'll never work with you again.

1107
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:33,640
But you probably also never worked with the industry.

1108
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:35,640
Oh, wow, is that level of bad?

1109
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:37,640
Yeah.

1110
01:12:37,640 --> 01:12:43,640
Yeah, it was like edit, it was the short film from a film school that my one of my best friends was doing.

1111
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:49,640
They asked me to be a part of it when I came on board and they all had a pretty tough time with one person.

1112
01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:55,640
And if I was on that set for longer, I would have said something, but I wasn't.

1113
01:12:55,640 --> 01:13:01,640
I was in the whole thing, but like, if I knew that person better, I would have been like, this behavior is not okay.

1114
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:04,640
Wow.

1115
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:19,640
But yeah, so like stuff like that, you know, I think it's just like childish, you know, you can't swear at people, you can't, you know, storm off sets, you can't, you know, yell at people.

1116
01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:31,640
But I think all the big projects that have been a part of, they've all been really professional and really, really lovely because they know how to act with it to quorum.

1117
01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:36,640
I'm sure I'll have different experiences in the future where I'm working on a big set and they'll be cunt.

1118
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:38,640
Yeah, yeah.

1119
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:41,640
But so far I've had pretty good luck on my big projects.

1120
01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:55,640
Yeah, I mean, like, I think they're, I try to make the rule and no policy of just don't be a cunt on set, like it's just a straight up, be nice, be pleasant.

1121
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:59,640
It's like Emerald for now, I'd be like, what's your interview, she has a no ass hole.

1122
01:13:59,640 --> 01:14:01,640
Yeah.

1123
01:14:01,640 --> 01:14:05,640
Yeah, I think I think that's like, it's just a good policy.

1124
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,640
I think it happened.

1125
01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:13,640
Like I think recently like Shilabuff got kicked off set and fired because he was being a dick.

1126
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:15,640
Well, it's like, what's his name?

1127
01:14:15,640 --> 01:14:17,640
30 seconds, Jared Leto.

1128
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:18,640
Yeah.

1129
01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:23,640
I'm like, okay, there's method acting, and then there is being a psycho.

1130
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:25,640
You don't get to take it that far.

1131
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:26,640
No.

1132
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:31,640
You don't get to mail dead animals, you don't get to, you know, act however you want.

1133
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:35,640
It's not an excuse to be this way.

1134
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:47,640
No, I think also our industry in particular, and like we were saying at the beginning as well, our industry in particular is so fucked and backwards in a lot of different ways.

1135
01:14:47,640 --> 01:15:05,640
And I just find it baffling because as someone who is predominantly based their entire career of, you know, like being kind, being considerate, helping people out, everything.

1136
01:15:05,640 --> 01:15:13,640
And like, you know, doing favors, doing a lot of favors, and still not having the career that you want.

1137
01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:15,640
And you're like, have I done something wrong?

1138
01:15:15,640 --> 01:15:18,640
Like, have I failed this career?

1139
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:28,640
And there's nothing necessary that I've looked back on my career and gone, like, there's parts that I'm like, oh, I could have probably handled that situation better and, you know, not, you know, not like, overdramatized it.

1140
01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:32,640
But I have definitely never been an actual cunt to anyone.

1141
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:35,640
And it's amazing how many people.

1142
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:37,640
Oh, yeah.

1143
01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:46,640
It's extraordinary and how many like, you know, like being being, you know, victims to, you know, the cancel culture and stuff like that.

1144
01:15:46,640 --> 01:16:06,640
You know, which was something that happened to me a couple years back and it, you know, just things like that where it's just, you know, people are awful for the sake of just, you know, self righteousness rather than just being like, oh no, they actually, you know, maybe I shouldn't be like this and you know, I've got my own life going on but so do they and, you know, like,

1145
01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:12,640
I get everyone's different but you know, some people need to grow the fuck up.

1146
01:16:12,640 --> 01:16:23,640
Yeah, it's like how I mean like, for you, how do you deal with all of that these days, like with the whole like industry being, you know, backwards and everything. How do you feel about it?

1147
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:25,640
Like, in terms of like cancel culture.

1148
01:16:25,640 --> 01:16:28,640
Yeah, cancel culture and all that jazz.

1149
01:16:28,640 --> 01:16:45,640
I think it's like really intense like I think that we're in like a society where like there's like no room for growth or like mistakes and they're like definitely exceptions, you know, like there's some some things that are unforgivable, you know, like if someone does something that is wrong,

1150
01:16:45,640 --> 01:16:53,640
like in a certain way, then yes, that person needs to like go away and doesn't maybe deserve to be in film and television anymore.

1151
01:16:53,640 --> 01:17:03,640
Yeah, but I think it like there's a big bike and white thinking going on of like, we loved you, this was wrong, now I hate you.

1152
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:08,640
And I think there's like, you know, people can make mistakes.

1153
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:22,640
Again, like every, every situation is different, you know, it depends on what the person's done but like, you know, for it, I yeah, I think there are different things and if you if you're

1154
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:37,640
if you've done something wrong that calls for being like sorry and apologizing and learning to be a better person, especially if some things were like 10 years ago, and you've grown since then and you can be rehabilitated in some form.

1155
01:17:37,640 --> 01:17:42,640
I think you shouldn't be cast out of society.

1156
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:47,640
Yeah, maybe like, yeah, I don't know.

1157
01:17:47,640 --> 01:17:57,640
I just I don't think it helps anybody like again, again, there is every situation is its own story.

1158
01:17:57,640 --> 01:18:04,640
But you have to look at every story that's on thing not everyone should be canceled point blank and like be thrown in the bin.

1159
01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:10,640
It's kind of like how Scandinavians do prison.

1160
01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:13,640
They reform them instead of throwing them in jail.

1161
01:18:13,640 --> 01:18:29,640
Yeah, no, 100%. And I think, you know, there's, there's right ways in this industry and there's wrong ways like you can handle, you know, and look, I always say people who are young and naive and like clearly have a lot of personal growth to go through.

1162
01:18:29,640 --> 01:18:47,640
Everyone makes mistakes when it's personal like personal growth. And also, like, you know, some people, I think the biggest misconstrued of the situation is just not talking or communicating clearly like someone just not giving people the time of day to communicate.

1163
01:18:47,640 --> 01:19:05,640
And I think that's my biggest gripe with this industry because literally if people just say, hey, this situation like, and I'm like talking personal professional like literally anything going, hey, a couple of days later just going hey, that situation on Saturday just didn't make me feel comfortable.

1164
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:09,640
Just letting you know, like not not taking high offense to it just letting you know.

1165
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:11,640
Yeah, instead of it letting it build up and festival.

1166
01:19:11,640 --> 01:19:19,640
Yeah, and then or two months later you find out that why haven't they spoken to you in ages and they've been like, oh yeah, no, you made me feel uncomfortable. So therefore I'm just not going to talk to you.

1167
01:19:19,640 --> 01:19:31,640
I'm just like, are we going to resolve? So we're going to move past and move forward. But there's so many people out there and that just go, no, the wall has to be put up.

1168
01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:47,640
And I think in like terms of like celebrity culture, when it comes with like fans versus celebrities, everybody's on a pedestal. Everyone's viewed almost like on a godlike status. So you can't make simple mistakes.

1169
01:19:47,640 --> 01:19:48,640
No.

1170
01:19:48,640 --> 01:20:07,640
So, you know, if a friend says something a little bit uncouth, it's like, well, that wasn't okay. You can maybe like have a conversation or you either don't say anything and you just like sort of get past in a couple months. But if a celebrity says that it feels earth shattering because they feel bigger than life and they feel like the person that has to be perfect.

1171
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:08,640
Yeah.

1172
01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:10,640
When they are people too.

1173
01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:11,640
Yeah.

1174
01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:30,640
It's, it baffles me that we sort of live in this, you know, social media frenzy, which, you know, like everything we post has to be questioned and ridiculed and everything like that.

1175
01:20:30,640 --> 01:20:43,640
Yeah. And especially for celebrity, it's just like, no, stop. Because it's like, you can say, oh, I, you know, like donated to a charity and everyone's like, oh, that wasn't the charity I'd pick. Have you seen all that, you know, horrible treatment they do to this?

1176
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:57,640
And it's like, you know, that's by the by or, you know, like I helped out these people. So, you know, like, please, you know, understand that I'm also a human being and it's not, you know, but I do agree with you.

1177
01:20:57,640 --> 01:21:03,640
I think, I think our social media, especially the, because you're not a big social media user these days.

1178
01:21:03,640 --> 01:21:11,640
No, I post one post about a year and I just let everyone know I'm not dead. And then I'm like, hi everyone, not dead. See you next year.

1179
01:21:11,640 --> 01:21:12,640
See you next year.

1180
01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:24,640
I know I should probably be a much bigger a part of social media than I am because I would help, especially now because I'm going to like crowdfund and go to social media and be like, hey, give me money.

1181
01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:26,640
Give me money.

1182
01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:32,640
But yeah, I just can't seem to like bring myself to do it.

1183
01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:34,640
I just, yeah.

1184
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:36,640
Is it like just no interest?

1185
01:21:36,640 --> 01:21:47,640
No interest. And I don't know, there's always been like a part of me like that doesn't like to be seen online. I like to be quite a private person.

1186
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:48,640
Yeah.

1187
01:21:48,640 --> 01:21:58,640
I don't like people seeing where I'm out at lunches or like what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm in this industry.

1188
01:21:58,640 --> 01:22:10,640
It's always the thing is like, if I'm honest, I ever, whenever I tag you and things, it's something like, oh no, have I offended to listen? No, it's like just literally she does not want anyone to know what she's doing.

1189
01:22:10,640 --> 01:22:22,640
What she's doing. I'm, no, I'm just, I don't know why I'm like that. I'm just like, no one can know what I'm doing where I am. Just pretend I don't exist. And yet for some reason I'm an actor and I want everyone to know I exist.

1190
01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:36,640
I think it's really funny as well. But do you get on like, how many people constantly message you other than myself? Like, do you have like a group of like, you know, 10 people who remember that you're alive on on socials?

1191
01:22:36,640 --> 01:22:38,640
Like to work with me or just in general?

1192
01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:50,640
Oh yeah, no, I have like many friends that, but they know to not message me on, you know, they not not to not message me. They just like, we just text. They don't, they would never tag me in anything.

1193
01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:51,640
Yeah.

1194
01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:59,640
Even like when we go out and stuff, they'll be like, please send my tagging you in this. I don't even know how to see it. You're not going to repost it. What's the point? You know, they make fun of me.

1195
01:22:59,640 --> 01:23:14,640
No, in a fun way. They're not like in any sort of way. Because yeah, they know I'm never going to repost anything. So they just, you know, and sometimes I'm okay to like, you know, pop in and be like smile in the Instagram photo.

1196
01:23:14,640 --> 01:23:19,640
I'm not going to like never like show my face. You know, it's not like I'm in witness protection over here.

1197
01:23:19,640 --> 01:23:21,640
That we know.

1198
01:23:21,640 --> 01:23:24,640
That I'd definitely be in the wrong.

1199
01:23:24,640 --> 01:23:34,640
Yeah. But now like, I don't know. What we'll be talking about before we are before I start to think like I'm a private person.

1200
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:36,640
Yeah, no, it's a bad social media.

1201
01:23:36,640 --> 01:23:37,640
Social media.

1202
01:23:37,640 --> 01:23:42,640
Yeah. And then you were just like, no, I'm private. I'm private. Everything's a closed book.

1203
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:55,640
No, I just don't post that much, but I'm sure I should because like engagement wise and followings and then people like, oh my God, that person that I follow, they're making this film now. I want to go see this film.

1204
01:23:55,640 --> 01:24:05,640
I feel like social media though now is like a complete, you know, have it's it's a bit obtruse and obnoxious on how much people post.

1205
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:07,640
Yeah.

1206
01:24:07,640 --> 01:24:15,640
And there's all video form now. Like Instagram doesn't even have they don't even prioritize photos.

1207
01:24:15,640 --> 01:24:30,640
No, no, it's all it's all like reels or tick tock now, which is like nuts. But I do I do find it interesting because like, I don't know, I post mostly movie, movie stuff.

1208
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:38,640
Like if anyone finds my profile, it's on like completely private, you can't see who my friends are or anything like that if you're not a friend of me.

1209
01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:47,640
But yeah, I just post movie trails. And somebody I feel like that is for me, a way of, you know, making sure I'm still alive.

1210
01:24:47,640 --> 01:24:49,640
I'm just out there.

1211
01:24:49,640 --> 01:25:07,640
But also like, I don't feel like my life's interesting and love unless it's got a project in it to really warrant unless I'm out with like Emily, or I've been a project I'm not going to post every day I see a friend and be like I'm hanging with this person today I'm not like, I don't know, I feel like that's a big

1212
01:25:07,640 --> 01:25:13,640
Ask of people to be like every time you go out with a friend you be like, selfie.

1213
01:25:13,640 --> 01:25:21,640
I love taking photos with my friends. We I like to like today we went out we went to branch went to a pub.

1214
01:25:21,640 --> 01:25:31,640
Like one of my friends she's really big on social media like she takes lots of Instagram photos and she's always, you know, snapping a pic and we take lots of photos here and I don't care about being any of those I love being in them.

1215
01:25:31,640 --> 01:25:33,640
It's just when I'm doing it. I don't know.

1216
01:25:33,640 --> 01:25:37,640
I was like, I like being a recurring character in her.

1217
01:25:37,640 --> 01:25:40,640
But I don't like having my own show.

1218
01:25:40,640 --> 01:25:45,640
God, can I just imagine you as the lead character and you're like, no, no, this is too much.

1219
01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:50,640
I'm just gonna shuffle back into the end to the background and be like, yeah.

1220
01:25:50,640 --> 01:25:58,640
But yeah, see that's like it's like the whole introvert thing like I don't want people to see me. I want people to see whatever character I'm playing.

1221
01:25:58,640 --> 01:26:00,640
So like I'll be fine on TV.

1222
01:26:00,640 --> 01:26:06,640
And then as soon as it comes time if I have to be in interviews I'll be like, do I have to?

1223
01:26:06,640 --> 01:26:12,640
Literally when I started this conversation to listen was like, oh, that's my voice.

1224
01:26:12,640 --> 01:26:16,640
I've gotten used to it now. It doesn't sound too bad.

1225
01:26:16,640 --> 01:26:19,640
No, you have a good voice. I have been telling you this for quite a while.

1226
01:26:19,640 --> 01:26:25,640
I think I have the worst voice. I don't know. It doesn't. I don't like it, but it's not sounding too bad on this.

1227
01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:29,640
I'll have to listen to this back and be like, Martin, it sounds terrible. Get rid of it.

1228
01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:36,640
Yes, not in the slightest chance. No, but you have a radio voice. You do.

1229
01:26:36,640 --> 01:26:37,640
Oh, radio voice.

1230
01:26:37,640 --> 01:26:47,640
Yeah, radio voice. You got it. You got all of it. You got a TV look, the theater act and then yeah, the radio voice.

1231
01:26:47,640 --> 01:26:49,640
I should just go into radio.

1232
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:55,640
I mean, like it's something that I'm about to step into the wonderful world and...

1233
01:26:55,640 --> 01:26:57,640
Isn't it like a dying art form though?

1234
01:26:57,640 --> 01:27:00,640
No, it's caught up on COVID. COVID really shot it up.

1235
01:27:00,640 --> 01:27:06,640
I see lots of videos and TikToks of people on the radio. I feel like people love radio now.

1236
01:27:06,640 --> 01:27:07,640
I suppose that's right.

1237
01:27:07,640 --> 01:27:14,640
COVID really shot a lot of that up because there was nothing. Everyone got bought a watching TV, so they went straight back to what was good.

1238
01:27:14,640 --> 01:27:19,640
Yeah, and I feel like a lot of radio hosts do it in a podcast form.

1239
01:27:21,640 --> 01:27:22,640
Like what we're doing.

1240
01:27:22,640 --> 01:27:35,640
Like what we're doing, it's also kind of like I feel nowadays, especially with, you know, you're competing against so many great shows that are also about the same thing.

1241
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:41,640
And it's like, well, what divides you between the rest of them? Honestly, it's just about having fun.

1242
01:27:41,640 --> 01:27:49,640
It's about doing what you want to do with that said product. No one is identical and, you know, the same.

1243
01:27:49,640 --> 01:27:53,640
My legs are too tall. My legs under this table.

1244
01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:55,640
It's a very shallow table.

1245
01:27:56,640 --> 01:27:58,640
You've done extremely well sitting there.

1246
01:27:58,640 --> 01:27:59,640
Thank you.

1247
01:28:00,640 --> 01:28:02,640
It's a truck.

1248
01:28:02,640 --> 01:28:04,640
You have a tough life today.

1249
01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:07,640
Oh my God, I have such a tough life. Thank you for acknowledging it.

1250
01:28:09,640 --> 01:28:11,640
I want to say get fucked.

1251
01:28:12,640 --> 01:28:13,640
You can say it.

1252
01:28:13,640 --> 01:28:15,640
I will. Yeah, get fucked.

1253
01:28:15,640 --> 01:28:16,640
I love that.

1254
01:28:16,640 --> 01:28:20,640
I love that. I'll get fucked. Not even like, it's not even enunciating.

1255
01:28:20,640 --> 01:28:21,640
Yeah, let's get fucked.

1256
01:28:21,640 --> 01:28:24,640
Like there was no consonant in that at all.

1257
01:28:24,640 --> 01:28:27,640
Yeah, no, I'm not going to ask for more.

1258
01:28:29,640 --> 01:28:33,640
Do you like listen to a lot of podcasts and like get ideas or you just like, just like.

1259
01:28:33,640 --> 01:28:35,640
I listen to a lot of people and get ideas.

1260
01:28:35,640 --> 01:28:38,640
This is, and I read a lot of articles and get ideas.

1261
01:28:38,640 --> 01:28:41,640
I do a lot of research into getting ideas.

1262
01:28:41,640 --> 01:28:46,640
A lot of my life is watching things, researching.

1263
01:28:46,640 --> 01:28:50,640
I'm very much like, I feel like experiences define us.

1264
01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:54,640
And that is like the best part to cherry pick of life.

1265
01:28:54,640 --> 01:29:00,640
And you know, you only learn by experience and information living.

1266
01:29:00,640 --> 01:29:07,640
And I think, you know, like, for someone who has, is an introvert and has anxiety, I run a podcast.

1267
01:29:07,640 --> 01:29:14,640
It's like not a common platform for people who is like, oh, you don't want anyone to really hear your opinions.

1268
01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:20,640
It's like, I remember telling my mom about this the first time and she was like, oh, what would it be about?

1269
01:29:20,640 --> 01:29:21,640
And I'm like, I don't know.

1270
01:29:21,640 --> 01:29:23,640
I just talk to people and she's like, huh.

1271
01:29:25,640 --> 01:29:26,640
That's nice.

1272
01:29:27,640 --> 01:29:28,640
She's listening to them now.

1273
01:29:28,640 --> 01:29:34,640
I know I'm trying to get my mom into podcasts because she's a very intelligent woman and would love them.

1274
01:29:34,640 --> 01:29:37,640
But I just think she like seeing it rather than hearing it.

1275
01:29:37,640 --> 01:29:39,640
Yeah. I think my mom's the same.

1276
01:29:40,640 --> 01:29:42,640
What are your favorite podcasts?

1277
01:29:43,640 --> 01:29:44,640
True Crime Ones.

1278
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:45,640
Oh yeah.

1279
01:29:45,640 --> 01:29:46,640
I love True Crime.

1280
01:29:46,640 --> 01:29:47,640
Yeah.

1281
01:29:47,640 --> 01:29:48,640
Anything like?

1282
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:49,640
Like my favorite murder.

1283
01:29:49,640 --> 01:29:51,640
Oh, and no, no, no.

1284
01:29:51,640 --> 01:29:52,640
Morbid True Crime.

1285
01:29:52,640 --> 01:29:53,640
Oh.

1286
01:29:53,640 --> 01:29:58,640
I'm good to American peeps and they sit in, one's a mortician.

1287
01:29:58,640 --> 01:29:59,640
Oh.

1288
01:29:59,640 --> 01:30:01,640
Yeah. So she deals with the cadavers.

1289
01:30:01,640 --> 01:30:02,640
Oh.

1290
01:30:02,640 --> 01:30:06,640
And get the grizzly details of some people being murdered.

1291
01:30:06,640 --> 01:30:13,640
But yeah, there's some episodes that I'm like, dear God, people are fucked because there are some really gross murders out there.

1292
01:30:13,640 --> 01:30:14,640
Yeah.

1293
01:30:14,640 --> 01:30:20,640
Yeah. So I mean, it's not too far from, you know, like that long ago.

1294
01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:24,640
Some of these stories which are only about like 10, 15 years ago, I think that.

1295
01:30:24,640 --> 01:30:26,640
So yeah, I think those are my favorite.

1296
01:30:26,640 --> 01:30:27,640
Do you have a favorite?

1297
01:30:27,640 --> 01:30:29,640
I have a couple.

1298
01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:32,640
I think my favorite's You're Wrong About.

1299
01:30:32,640 --> 01:30:44,640
It's just every episode is a different like topic where they discuss something like cancel culture or, you know, like a person in history.

1300
01:30:44,640 --> 01:30:51,640
It's just like anything and they debunk myths and things that maybe society thinks about this certain thing.

1301
01:30:51,640 --> 01:30:54,640
And they're like, well, your society is wrong about this thing.

1302
01:30:54,640 --> 01:30:56,640
Let's educate people on this.

1303
01:30:56,640 --> 01:30:59,640
Like I loved the one on cancel culture.

1304
01:30:59,640 --> 01:31:11,640
I love the one on I just listened to one with Jessica Chastain when she was talking about the eyes of Tammy Faye and how, you know, how the media portrayed Tammy Faye.

1305
01:31:11,640 --> 01:31:15,640
And portrayed her with the scar running down her face when that was never the case.

1306
01:31:15,640 --> 01:31:18,640
And how like people have these memories in their mind.

1307
01:31:18,640 --> 01:31:23,640
So like, yeah, the podcast is a lot about like people having these memories in our mind.

1308
01:31:23,640 --> 01:31:26,640
And then it being wrong because that's how.

1309
01:31:26,640 --> 01:31:27,640
So I love that one.

1310
01:31:27,640 --> 01:31:35,640
And I away with Jamila Jamil, who's like a podcast host, a presenter and model.

1311
01:31:35,640 --> 01:31:39,640
And she was on that TV show The Good Place.

1312
01:31:39,640 --> 01:31:41,640
Oh, yeah.

1313
01:31:41,640 --> 01:31:42,640
Yeah.

1314
01:31:42,640 --> 01:31:50,640
So she has her own podcast and she also has like, she has actors and doctors and like anyone and she just talks about mental health very much like this.

1315
01:31:50,640 --> 01:31:52,640
Very much like this podcast.

1316
01:31:52,640 --> 01:31:54,640
And I just have like a very candid chat.

1317
01:31:54,640 --> 01:31:55,640
Oh, I love that.

1318
01:31:55,640 --> 01:32:11,640
I mean, like it was asked to me the other day, like, do you do much research and I do a little bit of research, but I mostly just cuff it because it's like, you know, it really depends on what the person next to you has in terms of information and you just pull.

1319
01:32:11,640 --> 01:32:14,640
You just pull information out and make them feel comfortable.

1320
01:32:14,640 --> 01:32:15,640
That's how you work.

1321
01:32:15,640 --> 01:32:20,640
I feel like if you go in with a questionnaire, it terrifies people to the end to the grade.

1322
01:32:20,640 --> 01:32:22,640
Right, this one, this one, this one.

1323
01:32:22,640 --> 01:32:24,640
And I feel like you get stilted answers.

1324
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:25,640
Yeah, you do.

1325
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:27,640
Yeah, this is my experience from childhood.

1326
01:32:27,640 --> 01:32:28,640
This is my experience from now.

1327
01:32:28,640 --> 01:32:30,640
Like you just, people don't talk like that.

1328
01:32:30,640 --> 01:32:40,640
So, you know, off the cuff has always worked and but yeah, like it's a natural progression because like, you know, you start talking about like this, if we're talking about podcasts and then like, right, next question.

1329
01:32:40,640 --> 01:32:41,640
You depressed?

1330
01:32:41,640 --> 01:32:42,640
What's going on?

1331
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:45,640
You thinking about suicide?

1332
01:32:45,640 --> 01:32:46,640
Yeah.

1333
01:32:46,640 --> 01:32:48,640
Okay, let's take this one off.

1334
01:32:48,640 --> 01:32:50,640
Like it just feels a bit jarring.

1335
01:32:50,640 --> 01:33:00,640
I know, but you know, like people, people talk love to talk about things like that and then, you know, they get into this whirlwind of, you know, you just suddenly just get this person going at the end.

1336
01:33:00,640 --> 01:33:05,640
It's like, I don't feel comfortable to be here anymore and I should leave and it's like, how did that happen?

1337
01:33:05,640 --> 01:33:06,640
I'm not surprised.

1338
01:33:06,640 --> 01:33:08,640
They ask the Q&A questions.

1339
01:33:08,640 --> 01:33:12,640
But yeah, like that's why I tend to avoid it in podcast.

1340
01:33:12,640 --> 01:33:13,640
In podcast.

1341
01:33:13,640 --> 01:33:14,640
In podcast.

1342
01:33:14,640 --> 01:33:17,640
No, in podcast fashion, you know, I just try to avoid it to the end.

1343
01:33:17,640 --> 01:33:28,640
Because you know, I'd rather at the end of the day, make someone enjoy their experience than have an awful experience on the podcast.

1344
01:33:28,640 --> 01:33:31,640
Well, I hope you've had a nice.

1345
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:33,640
I've had a terrible time.

1346
01:33:33,640 --> 01:33:35,640
I'm really going to walk out right now.

1347
01:33:35,640 --> 01:33:36,640
Wow.

1348
01:33:36,640 --> 01:33:37,640
I guess.

1349
01:33:37,640 --> 01:33:40,640
Yeah, like what's the time?

1350
01:33:40,640 --> 01:33:42,640
Just got to go.

1351
01:33:42,640 --> 01:33:44,640
No, no, it's been chill.

1352
01:33:44,640 --> 01:33:45,640
It's been easy.

1353
01:33:45,640 --> 01:33:46,640
It's been easy.

1354
01:33:46,640 --> 01:33:48,640
It's been one of the better podcasts I've been on.

1355
01:33:48,640 --> 01:33:49,640
Oh, yeah.

1356
01:33:49,640 --> 01:33:50,640
I'm joking.

1357
01:33:50,640 --> 01:33:52,640
It's the only one I've been on.

1358
01:33:52,640 --> 01:33:53,640
Oh, okay.

1359
01:33:53,640 --> 01:33:57,640
So the first and last, I'm joking.

1360
01:33:57,640 --> 01:33:59,640
It's been good.

1361
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:02,640
I will never appear again.

1362
01:34:02,640 --> 01:34:05,640
But no, it's been an absolute pleasure to chat.

1363
01:34:05,640 --> 01:34:06,640
It's been great.

1364
01:34:06,640 --> 01:34:07,640
I've really loved it.

1365
01:34:07,640 --> 01:34:09,640
Oh, it's been nice.

1366
01:34:09,640 --> 01:34:11,640
It's the least, and where can people find you on the internet?

1367
01:34:11,640 --> 01:34:12,640
Where can they stalk you?

1368
01:34:12,640 --> 01:34:15,640
Oh God, after the whole chat of like, I don't like being found.

1369
01:34:15,640 --> 01:34:16,640
No, no, no.

1370
01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:19,640
Where can they find you?

1371
01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:21,640
I mean, I do have an Instagram.

1372
01:34:21,640 --> 01:34:22,640
Go find me.

1373
01:34:22,640 --> 01:34:28,640
You'll love the one post a year at Telys and Don.

1374
01:34:28,640 --> 01:34:33,640
If you need help spelling that, it's T-A-L-I-E-S-I-N-D-O-N.

1375
01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:36,640
It's got all the vowels.

1376
01:34:36,640 --> 01:34:38,640
What else am I up to?

1377
01:34:38,640 --> 01:34:40,640
Doing some shit with you?

1378
01:34:40,640 --> 01:34:41,640
Yeah.

1379
01:34:41,640 --> 01:34:44,640
Doing my thing.

1380
01:34:44,640 --> 01:34:47,640
Hopefully, I'm going to do some more acting things.

1381
01:34:47,640 --> 01:34:48,640
Yeah.

1382
01:34:48,640 --> 01:34:49,640
Yeah.

1383
01:34:49,640 --> 01:34:54,640
If you want to go and check out like some stuff that Delys and I have done, it will be out

1384
01:34:54,640 --> 01:34:57,640
next year, but you will see little bits and pieces.

1385
01:34:57,640 --> 01:35:02,640
Obviously, if you follow Old Who, First New Who, and other stuff that we do together.

1386
01:35:02,640 --> 01:35:03,640
Yes.

1387
01:35:03,640 --> 01:35:04,640
Yeah.

1388
01:35:04,640 --> 01:35:08,640
I've got a lot of pipeline to the plans to work together.

1389
01:35:08,640 --> 01:35:11,640
So, you know, it's just kind of when and where.

1390
01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:13,640
When and where.

1391
01:35:13,640 --> 01:35:15,640
And we're both very busy people.

1392
01:35:15,640 --> 01:35:17,640
So, we're just kind of making the time.

1393
01:35:17,640 --> 01:35:19,640
We're kind of making the time for each other and just to make sure.

1394
01:35:19,640 --> 01:35:20,640
I know.

1395
01:35:20,640 --> 01:35:23,640
And I don't even do that much and I'm busy kind of imagining what I'm going to be like

1396
01:35:23,640 --> 01:35:24,640
when I'm working full time.

1397
01:35:24,640 --> 01:35:25,640
Yeah, right.

1398
01:35:25,640 --> 01:35:26,640
It's like, oh my God.

1399
01:35:26,640 --> 01:35:32,640
But no, I'm very excited to like, obviously, I get the privilege of knowing you, but also

1400
01:35:32,640 --> 01:35:35,640
I'm very excited to see where your career goes next.

1401
01:35:35,640 --> 01:35:36,640
Thank you.

1402
01:35:36,640 --> 01:35:37,640
Thank you.

1403
01:35:37,640 --> 01:35:40,640
I'm hoping this next few years will be busy.

1404
01:35:40,640 --> 01:35:42,640
I want a couple of busy years.

1405
01:35:42,640 --> 01:35:43,640
Yeah.

1406
01:35:43,640 --> 01:35:44,640
We're going to make it.

1407
01:35:44,640 --> 01:35:45,640
I'm busy.

1408
01:35:45,640 --> 01:35:46,640
We're going to.

1409
01:35:46,640 --> 01:35:48,640
I've got lots of ideas and I don't like not being.

1410
01:35:48,640 --> 01:35:49,640
No, I know.

1411
01:35:49,640 --> 01:35:50,640
Neither do I.

1412
01:35:50,640 --> 01:35:55,640
That's why I don't date because I'm like, I'm a career person.

1413
01:35:55,640 --> 01:35:57,640
Ending off on a high note.

1414
01:35:57,640 --> 01:36:00,640
Fuck men only have a career.

1415
01:36:00,640 --> 01:36:01,640
Oh my God.

1416
01:36:01,640 --> 01:36:02,640
That's the tagline.

1417
01:36:02,640 --> 01:36:03,640
I fucking love it.

1418
01:36:03,640 --> 01:36:04,640
There you go.

1419
01:36:04,640 --> 01:36:06,640
Thank you so much.

1420
01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:07,640
Thank you.

1421
01:36:07,640 --> 01:36:14,440
If you want to go and check out more of the things we do podcast, you can check them out

1422
01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:15,440
on Avalon Spotify.

1423
01:36:15,440 --> 01:36:18,640
I'll be speaking with another guest next week and I'll speak to you all later.

1424
01:36:18,640 --> 01:36:19,640
Goodbye.

1425
01:36:19,640 --> 01:36:37,640
Bye.