This is the Things We Do podcast, a podcast about film life, television culture, mental
health and all that fun jazzy stuff.
Today I've got my special guest and friend Monique Warren.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm very well.
How are you?
I am well.
I am like surprisingly sitting in Sydney weather at the moment, which is being like a typhoon
today, of like sunny morning and then pouring rainy afternoon and I'm very confused.
So I don't know, I don't know quite what's going on.
What about your day?
What have you done today?
I did lots of life admin today.
I did some shopping today.
It was sort of like day off vibes today of just getting the life things done.
Nothing, nothing exciting.
Look, isn't that the best way of being an adult?
I suppose so.
Doing chores.
Yeah.
That's the best.
So when you're not doing chores and you're not doing life admin, what are you normally
doing?
Because imagine the people on the internet want to know who you are and what you do.
I do.
So many different things.
My biggest project this year was a program where we went into regional primary schools
and boosted their performing arts programs.
So yeah, that's taken up a lot of my time this year, which has been really cool.
I have met so many different people this year and sharing the arts and building confidence.
So yeah, performing arts teach a lot.
I work at a restaurant and I do other actory sort of things and I'm going to play at the
moment that we're not performing at the moment, but we will be performing again next year.
Yeah.
I just sort of go from project to project and do different creative things, I suppose,
is what I do day to day.
That's awesome.
Is that kind of where you saw your life trajectory going?
Maybe.
I suppose as part of the stepping stones, yeah, I've been involved in sort of performing
arts teaching since I graduated high school.
And I've actually just stopped doing kids parties, like saw that leaving my life and
then it left my life.
So yeah, I suppose so.
I reckon I'll be teaching for maybe the rest of my life in some capacity.
So you like educating people basically?
I think it's more I like to connect with people and I like to help people connect with each
other.
I don't know that it's necessarily about education because I think if that was the case, I would
go to a teaching degree and be like a school teacher.
Yeah.
Was this like starting your career and you know, basically Little Manique, which you
know, years go by, was it always to be a serious actor or was it always to be a comedic actor
or like to, you know, what aspect of like performing sort of drew you into it?
As a kid, it was definitely singing, but not necessarily like pop star singing, although
I was a huge Australian Idol fan as a kid.
Really?
We had Blaster in the past.
Yeah, loved it.
And then I don't know, I just sort of fell into more theatrical musical theatre stuff
as a teenager.
And then I studied music theatre and now I'm, I mean, I have those skills and I love those
skills, but I don't know right now anyway, that music theatre is, is like the big goal.
I think I've always wanted to do a bit of everything because it's all a bit of fun,
generally speaking.
I don't have a clear answer to that question actually.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I mean, I like that you don't have a clear answer because I feel like people who have
a clear answer, like it's very defined.
They've clearly thought about it for a long time.
I mean, I think it's more that I, there's just so many different things that I like
to do or I want to do.
I think that's what it is and you know, life's long, so I will hopefully get to do lots of
them.
So what are, what are some of the things that you want to do?
What are some of the things that you're like desperate to sink your teeth into?
I really, I'm hoping for the next couple of years that I can actually write my own shows.
Yeah.
And I'm, it scares me so much to write my own material, but I also want to write my
own material.
So that's sort of like the next, next creative venture, I think that if I can get my head
around it, yeah, and deal with a self critic who's like, you don't know how to write a
show.
Yeah.
Then I'll eventually write a show.
But yeah.
Are you a bit of a perfectionist?
Historically, we're moving away from it.
I like that it's historic.
Yeah.
I think lots of artists are, you know, but I also know that it doesn't always serve me.
Yeah.
I mean, that's cool as well, because I feel like in this modern era, especially in our
generation, like writing our own material is kind of what defines us, but also kind
of, I guess makes it more fun for us because I find like all my friends currently are writing
their own material.
Like they're like, oh, I'm just working on my own thing at the moment.
So it's kind of like the self expressionism, like time.
It's just, I think a nice way to keep the artist machine running between like bigger
gigs.
Yeah.
I mean, I had this conversation earlier with one of my friends about commercial versus
like independent art and art scene and how I think I could never give myself up to just
full time commercial life where it's, you know, a complete sellout of everything that
I do.
I love independent theatre and I love independent film industry way too much because I feel
like, you know, when you see that, especially in like sometimes on the cheap end or sometimes
in the big budget end, it's kind of incredible what people create.
And I think that particularly like, you know, the COVID it's kind of switched that where
it's like, you know, more people appreciate independent stuff than they used to.
I think the mainstream audience kind of go, oh, there's more to this than I gave it original
credit for.
Yeah.
It's not always just getting up on stage and, or just grabbing a camera and giving it a
go.
I feel like sometimes there's that sentiment of like, oh, they're just doing things that
are fun and easy on stage.
And you're like, yeah.
But there's also a little bit more involved than that.
Yeah.
I mean, do you still, and I guess when you were younger as well, did you get those people
going, oh, you're one of those people when you were sort of like, oh, I want to stay
in the arts and the theatre and performance scene.
Did you get people going, oh, you know, that's not a real job, but you're going to get a
real job?
I mean, in my periphery, but I have an amazing family who I think just always been like,
if you love it, give it a go.
And then you can get a real job if you, if and when you need to, a real job, I say.
Being an artist is absolutely a real job.
I can tell I make my living, but yeah, I think the main voices, like, and my main role models
as a kid in my close circle were pretty supportive, which was nice.
And I also, I found as a kid, I wasn't always, like, I just was so much better at doing creative
stuff than I was at, you know, times tables and spelling.
And so I think I was just encouraged to continue that.
And then here I am.
It's funny as well, because having done a bit of research onto you and also like flicking
through your Instagram, which looks insane.
Welcome to the world.
You look like a mad hatter.
I will admit.
Nice.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm actually like, I'm here for that.
Thank you.
I think most people as well, like, you know, you're like me, which is like very much driven
into this industry.
I always find like artists nowadays, like, you know, I guess it's a generational thing
as well, especially when like, you know, people have just turned, you know, 20 and they've
gotten internet all up in their lives.
And then I'm just like, oh no, that's, you know, I remember the days when you had to
kind of look around and, you know, perform a show and it wasn't like, it was just a pamphlet
in a slide box that people don't think about.
Like, did you, did you feel like when you graduated, like then kids today have it easier
than I guess you did at the same time when you started in the industry?
Just think it's different.
I think, I think everyone has their own challenges and maybe the industry has yet has shifted
from when I graduated, which was what five years ago.
So really not that long ago, as in I graduated from drama school.
Or do you mean high school or?
Yeah.
When did you graduate?
So drama school, I can sort of very different, like university.
I graduated high school in 2010.
So I'm, I'm a prehistoric being.
When did you graduate high school?
2012.
Okay.
So you're only two years.
Yeah.
So like, you know, particularly because we would have grown up in the time when internet
was just, you know, pretty new.
The dial up, it's my impression of, you know, having to disconnect your phone cord and your,
to get your internet working.
So you go on MSN and then your mum's like, I need to use the phone.
It was the best kind of time.
I miss those times when I get screamed at any other end of the house.
Hmm.
I miss those times too.
I mean, like, you know, I think that's how I imagined also like when, you know, when
we did have dial up internet and you did kind of like, you know, MSN and, you know, I basically
went to, I remember when a lot of websites were coming up and knew and how you sort of
made connections and stuff.
And there were always forum chats that were deep and dark on the web, but that you should
avoid like 10 foot pole.
You know, it was fun times.
It was absolutely fun times.
But I mean, like, you know, now I guess the thing is like young performers have YouTube,
they can upload straight away too.
I mean, we do, like we have that platform too, but I remember when it was only, you
know, used as vlogs and now it's like a conglomerate of everything.
Like every social media platform uses it.
Same with, you know, TikTok is now new, Instagram.
And suddenly I'm just, I'm finding it hard to keep up with all the things that people
use.
Do you find the same that you're just like, you stick to one social platform now to kind
of like upload things too?
Yeah.
I, I think I would like to, and we'll eventually go away from Instagram, but I don't mean,
I don't even upload much anymore other than the odd Instagram post and then, you know,
I use YouTube to send self-tapes and things.
It is overwhelming though.
And I think most people would say that even though we're all addicted and we all love
it and hate it.
But I also know that it's such a useful tool for self-promotion and for connecting with
people.
And I mean, this is, I don't think this is necessarily social media as much, but over
the last sort of 12 months or so, I've been meeting people in person that I met online
during our lockdowns, you know?
And I find that really cool, you know?
And then it's been so lovely connecting to someone and, you know, bumping into someone
I'm like, I know you, but we've never met in person.
This is so exciting.
So that, I don't know in that way, social media has been incredible for that.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that's what I love about it as well.
And you know, the advantages that have come out of COVID, because I feel like before COVID,
everyone was very hesitant to use it as a like networking and social platforms, like
especially Instagram and you know, like Facebook now is used predominantly, you know, a lot
of people who use that to communicate with each other, even if they don't know each other,
you just kind of like message people.
I mean, I love it.
I think it's great.
I do find like Instagram particularly overwhelming because there's a lot to it.
And it's just also like, you know, like doom scrolling.
I mean, just, you don't want to get into that like algorithm where you're like, oh, that's
right.
What are my friends doing?
And then you're like, oh, what have I done with my day?
Like I need to stop.
That is, that happened to me a few times in lockdown.
But I mean, like, you know, I do agree with you.
I think like social media is great.
It's great like platform.
I mean, you're probably better if you're going to try and advertise yourself as having a
website and having an Instagram, but you know, like, I don't know.
It's necessarily better.
I just think it's different.
Really?
Depends how you're wanting to present yourself at the time.
But you know, you can just put your internet, your, not your internet, your Instagram, for
example, in your email signature as you would a website.
I mean, I don't know.
I haven't really particularly cultivated anything like this for myself, but I, the, when I look
at other artists and see how, how they've done that for me, it doesn't matter if they've
got a website or just an Instagram page or a Vimeo page, like it's about self expression.
So if you, yeah, if you find that that's a better medium for you, then cool.
I mean, I like that.
I like that.
I like that answer because it's like, you don't have to stick to one.
Yeah.
I mean, a lot of, a lot of the time I find people show reals on Vimeo or YouTube.
So those are like the two things, but occasionally I do find a Facebook page, which, you know,
has everyone's like, you know, actual official stuff.
It's been interesting about Facebook and I hardly ever use it, but I, so I was, I did
a fabulous play in Melbourne Fringe Festival and I did actually post like once or twice
on, on Facebook and people who I hadn't talked to in ages who are quite a bit older than
me, like it was a great way to connect with them.
And I suppose I just had forgotten about Facebook and then I used it and then I was like, oh,
there's all the whole, like a whole lot of people that I have been not connecting with
that still use Facebook.
Yeah.
Cause I love, I do my two favorites at TikTok and Instagram.
Yeah.
Which, you know, are you a Demscroll on TikTok?
No, I, I just like funny things and I like creative things.
And then I'm like, all of a sudden I go, oh, no, we've had enough and I stopped.
That's really, you have good self like management.
Only with TikTok.
Really?
Not with Instagram.
Yeah.
I think it's because, and it's a recent thing, I get a bit fatigued from all of the, like
the short clips and it's very like, you know, it's over stimulation.
And then sometimes I'm like, oh, hang on.
Why do I feel crappy?
Oh, because it's, I've been on TikTok for 20 minutes, two hours, whatever.
Your brain doesn't know how to like comprehend all that information and keep going and keep
going and keep going.
It's like, I've got to limit it and stop here.
And I like going outside.
So I do try to put my phone down.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, like, I think it's also, you know, like, how did you go in a particularly like,
you know, I know COVID is a bit of the past.
Did you find you were more creative during, you know, not at all?
No, not at all.
I really struggled to feel connected.
Yeah.
I realised that I was much less of an introvert than I always thought I was and am.
Like I definitely have introverted tendencies, but much less so now, I think.
So you're very, you describe yourself as a very extroverted person.
I've always thought of myself as a extroverted introvert.
So someone who it's like, I love socialising and then all of a sudden I'm like, no, leave
me alone.
But I just think at the moment, I don't always, I'm always aware that I'm craving social interaction
and then I have social interaction and I just go, ah, I feel better now.
So it's like it rejuvenates you a little bit.
Yeah.
Which is, which is, I think something I've grown into in my, in my old age.
Yeah.
You're so old and ancient.
The white hair is already settling in.
The beard, the wise beard.
I like, yeah, I feel like that's really good as well because I mean, the coin goes either
side as well.
And I feel like, you know, I've gone the other way, which is ironic.
I used to be a very extroverted person.
Now I'm sort of very like, I like my alone time, but, um, but I'm also like an extra,
yeah, I'm like, you know, I'm an extroverted introvert.
Like I like, I get excited when I see people, but once I've had enough and like my partner
describes this all the time and she goes, yeah, when Marty's had enough, you just, you
shut down and you just go, no, done.
Yeah.
Like it sounds really blunt, but it's not like it's, it's just like processing, you
know, your brain needs process time for me anyway.
Yeah, I agree.
I think, I think it's like the only way that like, I think it's also because, um, I guess
I get like, I don't want to say this all the time, but I feel like I'm, you know, like
it's repeating, but it's, I think it's partially because of my neurodivergent brain where it's
like ADHD kind of probably overstimulate and then needs to actually switch off.
But I do find like, I went to this awesome thing this morning, which was, I think the
most inclusive thing and it was on an aquarium session at Sea Life in Disney, um, and Disneyland
in Darling Harbor.
I was like, Ooh, that's way more exciting.
No, it was in Darling Harbor and it was like this Sea Life, you went around the aquarium
and it was for like basically anyone who wanted to like register and do it.
It was free.
Um, but yeah, it was like, they turned down the lights, the music wasn't on.
Like you could actually just immerse yourself into looking at fish for like an hour and
a half.
And we did that.
We got there at eight in the morning.
We finished at like nine 40 something and then went home.
Um, but it was like the best experience.
Like it was so nice.
And I think it just made me really appreciate like the little things of going, you know,
and I feel like, you know, like post, post lockdown and especially like post that, you
know, awful era.
Um, it's kind of just helped me really appreciate the little things that I, you know, has happened
particularly and, and, and, and things that I can, I guess, add, uh, collectively to life
experience because I feel like I get more out of, you know, having this sort of like,
you know, like quiet time, you know, especially without like heaps of sound and heaps of loud,
like I'm terrible with loud auditory noises, which is ironic.
I just can't stand them.
I remember when I was in a cinema when I was a kid and just like the loud bangs in movies,
I was like, nah, I'm done.
Like cannot deal.
Um, and yeah, like this experience was like one of the best, but it's very interesting
now being an adult because I think when I was like in my teens, it wasn't as well explained
by like, you know, the way my brain was wired was not well informed.
And so therefore I was like, Oh, how does it, you know, like, cause I was the only interest
in performing arts and I was very interested in all these creative things.
I didn't know anyone else who was interested in those things as much as I was.
So I was like at lunchtime pretending there was a comet flying to earth and trying to
convince all my friends to play like apocalypse kind of scenarios.
So you know, why not?
Did you successfully convince them?
Like were your friends like, no, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, look, I, I never said I didn't convince them.
Uh, you know, it was just, it was a.
You know, a shoddy attempt and it got them in and then we played it for like, I think
an hour at recess.
It was great.
Like, you know, why not?
Yeah.
I mean, kids, kids play games and make up stuff and it's so kids are just so creative
like that.
You know, it's, it's, it's amazing.
The lack of inhibition they have in that regard.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, I loved it.
I was kooky, you know, like I guess back then as well, I was like, Oh, is that the weird
kid?
I mean, I guess that's what kids do.
But now as an adult, I just embrace that like eccentricity and weirdness that I guess people
do.
But I still like, do find people who I guess don't understand what, you know, the love
of the arts is or what the love of being creative or, you know, you know, finding enjoyment
out of being, you know, a big kid.
Like I guess, do you feel like, especially with other actors, because I've, I've noticed
this especially by loving like the arts and being, you know, like super interested in
the arts.
There's like two kinds of performers or two kinds of creatives.
One's who kind of like, I guess want this, you know, deep and meaningful and introspective
kind of art.
And then the other, like I'm a bit of an in-between, which is like, you know, love those artworks,
love those two bits, but I also love being stupid and silly and, you know, and weird
and wonderful and just kind of rolling with anything and rolling, seeing what life brings.
Are you, are you on, which side of you do you think on?
Oh, definitely the silly side.
I, a couple of years ago started clowning and like one of the phrases that my teachers
say is like, you know, finding the pleasure to play.
And that whole philosophy, I suppose, just has sat with me so well.
And so even when I am doing, you know, serious actor things, it's like finding the pleasure
to play that serious actor stuff.
And so I suppose it's not easy sometimes, but I know that I function best when at my
core there's a bit of silliness and a bit of play and that's, yeah, I, I just can't
take it too seriously.
Cause I think, you know, I get quite existential about the world and about life anyway, that
if then my, my acting philosophy is also serious and what hope have I got?
I mean, it's interesting when you talk about existential crisis and moments like that,
cause I think that's why I enjoy silliness as well.
It's a release.
Yeah.
A way to cope or a way to connect.
And I don't know for me anyway, when, when life is a bit crappy, like the crappiness
can't really coexist with silliness at the same time.
Might happen from moment to moment.
You know, you might be sad one moment and then happy the next, but can't coexist.
No.
It's my theory.
I like that theory.
But I think that also the thing about art in general and, and what I think it speaks
to people, especially, you know, we talk about creating our own art is that self expression
or that self, you know, putting your own thoughts out there, which is, you know, or ideas, you
know, whatever, whatever's sort of in our brains onto a piece of paper and then getting
other people or ourselves to perform and then, you know, show it to the world or show it
to a handful of people.
I think that that in itself can be an interesting experience and a very vulnerable experience
because I don't know, it's, I find it very interesting the way everyone just processes
art and just in general, like, you know, how we, how we have ideas and then we sort of
formulate them onto scripts or we formulate them onto little notes in our classroom.
And then over time that becomes a bigger and bigger and bigger idea, but we have probably
about 20 ideas or 20 feelings that we want to kind of, you know, go with.
And if we put all those feelings onto the, into the work, it's probably going to feel
like a mess, but it's kind of like funneling them down and trying to, you know, mash them
down this little like pipe tube and see what comes out the other end of, if it's a solid
idea.
I mean, I've got a book upstairs, like filled with notes that I'll never probably turn into
something and some that I might turn into something that I think is interesting.
But I do think that with, with all this and the way like we feel about, you know, projects
and everything, I feel like us as performances, we kind of have a duty and a responsibility
in some regards to show people who might not be able to emotionally, you know, like, cause
you talk about connection and I feel like some, not everyone can emotionally connect,
but art brings us all together.
Like it's some amazing, like-
Maybe, it depends what kind of art and what the message is.
Well, I mean, a lot of-
Totally devised too.
I mean-
You're bringing out the layers of art.
Yeah, I should go like, I don't know, go to an art history degree or something.
Then I'll, then I'll be able to really tell you, would that be art history?
Maybe it'd be like an anthropology degree in like, in art within culture.
Maybe that's like a PhD I'll do one day.
I mean, that would be a good PhD.
Maybe, I don't know.
I feel like actually I'll just do the art rather than theorise it.
I mean, do you, do you feel like though with your own creations and with, and especially
with wanting to produce your own work, do you feel like these stories are like very
personal to you or they've sort of stories that you've just wanted to tell since you're
a kid?
The things that I am wanting to put out into the world in the short term are just about
silliness and sort of almost clown.
So I don't, and interestingly, if you just mentioned about being a kid, as a kid I was
very silly, but I remember people being like, oh, Mon's the silly one, like never the like
clever witty one.
And now I'm like, I want to be a bit like, look at me world.
Like I wrote a funny show.
Ha ha ha ha.
But I don't, you know, I don't necessarily, I suppose it's just not that cognisant for
me.
I want to just do things in my life that I suppose, you know, make me feel good selfishly.
And then, you know, I connect with others in the process and, you know, and at a point,
if that isn't art, then that's fine too, I think, you know, in my career and in my life.
So I just don't know that it's that sort of big and bold of like, you know, what have
you, what story have you already always wanted to tell?
It's not sort of that.
Yeah.
It's just doesn't feel like it's that attached to my soul.
It's just a thing.
Yeah.
Just something to try, something to do.
And to be like, I'm silly.
I'm fine.
Yeah.
For myself though.
And sure, the byproduct might be someone else will laugh or they won't.
That's fine.
I mean, I love that as well because, you know, that's got to be the reason you do stuff and
you create stuff is kind of like this, you know, laughing about it for yourself or doing
it a little bit for yourself.
Like what do you want to challenge yourself in?
Yeah.
And I mean, it's not just, it's not that I just want to make people laugh.
I mean, you know, when I graduated drama school, I wanted to be such a, I just wanted to be
in musicals.
That's all I wanted to do.
But it was still the same feeling of I just, I just want to do.
So I actually don't think at the end of the day for me, it necessarily matters what, if
I connect with the what, then it is the thing.
I don't know if that, it really makes so much sense, but anyway, it does in my head.
No, it does in my head too.
Don't worry, everything that you're saying is making a hundred percent sense.
I think that's very honest and very open as well because, you know, like the what, you
know, as long as that connection is there, do you, do you kind of like write stuff, especially
create stuff as like a single player or do you like sort of creating stuff as ensemble
pieces as well?
Cause I mean, do you write music?
I could write music.
I have written music.
To be honest, writing isn't a love.
Like I don't, I love being in a room with other creative people and creating in the
space, rehearsing in the space, finding stuff in the space, being on set and you know, the
director being like, give me a different offer.
And I'm like, yeah, sure.
That's what I love.
So this new identity of creating and writing solo is, yeah.
I'm at the beginning of the journey.
So, and it's, it's a bit of a lonely journey at the beginning.
So I look forward to, you know, slowly processing my thoughts and then slowly bringing more
people on, on to be like, Hey, can you be my director or Hey, can you help me do my
promo?
You know, whatever.
If, you know, if my writing ends up being for other people, maybe it'll just be for
me.
Yeah, but I just, I've come to a point in my, I suppose, my artistic journey where I'm
like, I have to have other things that creatively sustain me between bigger or more exciting
or more interesting creative gigs or day to day jobs.
Yeah.
Cause it can't, it can't all be the mundane.
I like that.
I mean, yeah, it's just, it's just interesting cause I guess it creates a personal challenge
as well.
You know, because I guess when we write, you know, my experience might be different, but
whenever I write ideas, I don't think every one of them is going to be crack hard or I
send them to probably about 20 friends and go, do you think this is decent?
You know, there's a lot of, I guess that perfectionism worry.
Yeah.
That critic.
Which I mean, like I, I, I honestly and wholeheartedly say I'm, I'm one of my own worst critics.
I'm very like self-deprecating and you know, um, over critically analyzing my own stuff.
Um, like it's hard to sit down and, and, and just let it exist.
Um, do you find like, especially when you perform stuff and you know, and you read other
people's work, do you get more like, I guess, imposters in, or like, I guess shocks and
drama, especially when you sort of want to create your own stuff.
Do you look at other people's right?
And just think in the back of your head, I could never do this, something as good as
this.
I mean, sure.
I thought it's there, but I am also like, I've become very cognizant of, of the things
that I say to myself and say to others, you know, can, can be damaging.
And I'm not saying, you know, I can saying to myself, I can't do that is going to ruin
my life.
But, um, if I catch myself having thoughts like that, I try my best to reframe and it's,
it's a lifelong journey with that.
Actually, I have this like iconography of a star and so like on my iPad pencil, it says
you're a star and I have several pairs of, um, earrings that are stars.
And I will often say to people, well, they've just done a show and I want to celebrate them.
Or if I say a self-deprecating thing, just in passing, I'd be like, no, you're a star.
And I think sometimes it sounds a bit facetious, but I'm, I'm like, no, it's true because I,
I don't know.
For me, there's just so, there is so much negative crap that I have to counter it with
some sort of positivity.
And I, you know, I've read somewhere once that, um, your brain doesn't, doesn't know the difference
between like sarcasm and truth.
And so, you know, some expert out there can actually tell me whether that's actually true
or not.
But, but that has stuck with me because I go, well, if I'm giving myself sarcastic comments,
then I'm going to start believing those.
Yeah.
But it's a journey, you know, I'm constantly trying to reframe so that my thoughts and
critiques are constructive or, you know, not, not just living in like a toxic positivity
or aren't brutal.
Yeah.
Have you, did you particularly struggle with that when you were younger?
Like a lot of, you know, self criticism and...
I think so.
Yeah.
And then my mid twenties had also hit me.
Yeah, that's, that's, that's hard.
Um, you know, but I mean, it's, it's great that you've come out the other side and you're
able to, you know, put this re reinforce these sort of like self, you know, measures and
I guess like self improvement.
I'm just, I'm really at peace with the fact that it's probably always going to have to
do it.
I'm always going to have to self manage the critic, which, you know, a couple of years
ago I was like, no, I just want to be happy.
Anyway, for me, I have to just always work at it.
Yeah.
I mean, like it's interesting as well because, you know, and I think I look back at my previous
self and my younger self, especially when I was trying to be an artist when I was in
my twenties and I graduated school, um, you know, and did, you know, TAFE and everything.
And I was like, suddenly had my first time full time job and I was like, Oh, I'm amazing.
I've done the best and you know, like, look at me and how great I am.
And I know everything better than everyone else.
I didn't, I would like to say I did not.
Um, but I had a lot of like self improvement and self learning to do and self, like a lot
of that is it came from also self love and not, not really loving my, you know, like,
and I came to this realization, you know, about a year ago, but I really sort of like
thought about it more so now that I remember when I was younger, because I used art and
particularly like, you know, imagination games and stuff.
I really use that as a way to connect to people.
And because I think I really struggled with not connecting, I loved connecting and making
people feel positive and making people laugh and you know, and being silly.
And I really hated not being able to do that.
And I got really worried that I wasn't, you know, valid, you know, like important or,
um, you know, at all and anything.
And I think it was like quite a damaging time, but I think also like, um, self improvement
actually, you know, ironically came out of lockdown for me because I was able to have,
you know, I lived on my own for two years.
So I had some time away from everything where, you know, I felt like my world was crumbling
apart and, you know, I could, you know, focus on me and actually do some self improvement
of like, well, why, why everyone reacting this way?
Why is like this, this way?
How am I going to improve myself as a person, but not change fundamentally, you know, the
core values I have, which is very different to, I guess, how I manage like anxiety or,
you know, bouts of self criticism or, you know, bouts of depression, you know, like
things like that.
How do I manage all these things?
Um, and go, well, my friends don't want to hear all the time that I'm, you know, like,
oh, this is shit and this is shit.
Like, you know, you don't want to spread negativity.
And I was like, well, how do I just go, this is great.
This is great.
I'm happy here.
And you know, as you say, it's not an overnight thing where you're suddenly like, yay.
Um, you know, I didn't wake up one day and sort of suddenly see roses, but you know,
I definitely gone through, you know, quite a number of years of self journey and self
care to get here.
And I think, I think it also helps like meeting, meeting all you people and, you know, like
getting to connect with you guys.
Cause it's like you meet when you start connecting, it goes back to that route of connecting.
When you connect with people, you suddenly, you just see so many different perspectives
and like, I, you know, I only have one perspective.
I, you know, value that.
I only know it from my own lens, but that's why you, you know, we ask questions.
I feel like that's the, that's the key lesson I have taken away from this entire journey
in like, you know, six years, six or seven years since I kind of went to that realization
because, you know, otherwise it was just flicking people away and saying, I'm way better at
this than you are.
And you know, making worse off than, you know, realizing those are, you know, like things
that you want to connect and grow with people.
Do you feel like as well, you know, when you, when you graduated school, cause I had this
sense of, you know, like particularly with the confines of school and the confines of
education, once they went, there was just me.
Did you feel like that, you know, like you were a bit more like in your own head once
you left school and you, you kind of didn't have these constant education distractions
and you know, you suddenly, you were like, I really need to like push to be an adult.
I don't know that I've ever consciously thought of that.
If anything, of recent years, I'm pushing to be more of a child.
And it's funny cause I, now as we talk about it, often when I teach really young kids,
you know, they'll say how I'll ask how old I am.
And then I reply with, well, how old are you?
And they'll be like, I'm seven.
And I'll be like, can I be seven?
And they're like, no, like, why not?
Why can't I pick?
So I don't, yeah, I don't feel like I necessarily have had that sense graduating high school
that I was desperate to be an adult.
I mean, maybe, but that's not really something that's entered my self reflection at all.
That's totally, that's totally.
I'm sure, I'm sure as a teenager, there was that sense of like, you know, I can't wait
to be growing up.
Can't wait to do all these things.
And, you know, I'm sure the day I got my license, I was like, woo, I'm so adorbs.
But it's not been a big overlying thing for me of needing or wanting to be, you know,
you know, different age space than I was physically.
I don't think anyway.
You haven't been rushing it or going like there's, you know, I need to be this.
I mean, I possibly have been, but I haven't been cognizant of it.
I like that as well.
I mean, it's, I love the fact that you are a big child as well.
Like that you embrace your silliness.
We try, we try.
It's hard sometimes.
I mean, I mean, it's also like, you know, it's that constant battle, isn't it?
Yeah.
But, you know, I mean, do you feel now, you know, and you mentioned, you know, do you
feel way more on top of, on top of it?
Because I feel like your entire personality is just silly.
On top of what?
Well, on top of your silliness and clownishness.
No, I feel like a baby clown.
You feel like a baby clown.
Totally a baby clown, but I feel, I feel more at ease to be who I am, I suppose.
And I think I was already heading that way and I, you know, have some beautiful friends
that bring this out of me.
But for me actually coming into, into clowning and like starting to learn the craft has really
helped me just be like, say that what's that classic thing of like, you know, you are enough.
I don't necessarily use that language for myself, but I do think that that's part of
what clowning has given me is, you know, all I've got is me.
So let's try just be it.
Cause I want to talk a bit like about, you know, the fact that you did children's parties
and the fact that you did clowning.
I mean, too big, you know, cause you talk about like, Oh, I've left that chapter of,
you know, children's parties behind.
Which is so funny because two weeks ago, my friend was like, my kids party, um, work is
desperate for someone to fill in this afternoon and you're free.
And I was like, yes, I'm free.
And I literally, like I literally retired.
And then I was like, fine, I'll do kids parties.
It just cause I, I have free time at the moment.
So I was like, Oh, fine.
But the intention is not to do kids parties if possible.
I mean, did you enjoy it for the years?
Like was it a fun?
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because because children are hilarious most of the time.
I mean, what was the most interesting parties that you went to?
Like, did you have to dress up as characters or did you kind of just like, what was, what
did it involve?
I have done all sorts of different parties, but most recently I was doing princess parties.
And look, I find, I did find that quite hard at times.
Like I fit into the sort of princess mold quite easily in that, um, you know, I'm tall
and lean and white and put some mascara on me and, and a wig and I'm, I look like Elsa,
you know, like found that a little bit tricky.
Um, I suppose just, I would just in general, I'd find it really interesting.
Um, you know, going in and just not knowing what sort of party you were going to get,
because some parties you'd have parents who just be like, let you just do your thing and
let their kids just have a good time.
And it's all just about everyone just enjoying each other's company and being silly and having
a sing and playing games, you know, and then there'd be parties where parents really want
you to do something really specific.
And that's fine, but it doesn't always necessarily work for the three year olds in front of you
because you know, sometimes, well, not sometimes three year olds can't focus for an hour and
a half, for example.
Um, yeah, it was, it was a great people watching exercise.
Nothing is springing to mind of like a particular party, but I'm sure they were, if I went through
my journals, I'm sure they'd be went to this party.
It was crazy.
Oh my God.
I'm so sorry about that, it's gone from my brain.
I love that though.
I mean, it's interesting that you raised the fact that like, did you feel like parents,
you know, as particularly when you sort of said, oh, I fit into this Elsa kind of thing,
particularly, was that an identity crisis there or was it just kind of weird because
it didn't match your personality?
Um, Elsa was certainly my favourite, um, princess because she, the costume, there was no, um,
no corset and I could wear boots rather than heels.
And also I quite like singing Elsa's songs because they are, you know, like into the
unknowns a little bit, cupsier than, um, I don't know, what does some of the other ones
seem?
I really can't remember now.
Gosh, my brain, my brain is just like, no, you don't do that anymore.
Stop thinking about it.
Um, but yeah, I did find sometimes, you know, if I was dressing up a Cinderella or a punzel
and I, you know, did look in sort of Disney terms, beautiful, uh, towards the end I was
like, I don't really like this.
I don't, it doesn't feel good for people to be, maybe this is a really like privileged
shitty thing to say, but it doesn't feel good anymore for people to value me just on what
I look like and be like, oh my gosh, wow, you're so pretty.
I'm like, thanks, but you know, what I, what I suppose I value in other people or try to
value in other people is not just what they look like.
Yeah.
I think that's, I think at the end of the day, I think that's part of why I have stepped
away from kids parties because yeah, that sort of superficiality, although it's part
of our society and our culture, it just was becoming too much to do every week.
Yeah.
But gosh, kids parties are also hilarious.
Like I've had some great times and I learnt so much and I remember, cause I first did
kids parties when I graduated high school straight away.
Oh wow.
I was doing disco parties and I used to get so anxious, you know, knocking on someone's
door and being like, hi, here I am for a kids party.
Please love me.
Whereas now I go into a party and be like, hi, here I am.
Hope you like me.
And there's that, that's been really like gratifying, I suppose to just not have that
anxiety anymore.
Yeah.
It's a shift.
I've grown.
You've grown.
Look at that.
I feel like that's also great because it's interesting that you enter the superficial
thing.
It's hard with our profession.
Being an actor is for me anyway, a visual medium.
Yeah.
You know what I mean, like that's probably why I lent to radio as well because like,
and I fell in love with radio and radio plays because you never knew what anyone looked
like.
So you could, your brain could imagine and it was based entirely on performance.
Um, I don't know that I, I love and hate like a lot of it.
I think beauty standards are completely wrong and subverted and not honest and true and
complicated.
It's complicated.
I mean, also, because I guess I have, uh, you know, the, the slightly, you know, privileged
position, but you know, I do photography so that for their, I have a huge judgment on
Photoshopped images and I don't touch Photoshop with a million years.
Like I only use Lightroom to adjust colors and you know, half the photos I take, actually
all the photos I take, I've never altered any of them, um, are a hundred percent of
how people look.
And I think that has gotten me a lot more, a lot more respect from, um, you know, female
identity, not fine people and, and women, or, you know, particularly because it's like,
I just think they look forward to seeing not adjusted body images and stuff like that.
And I think that's a very sort of like male gaze view though, isn't it?
Yeah.
To have something so, um, manicured and airbrushed.
Yeah.
I think that's what sort of intrigued me about you as well, because you know, your entire
social is just kooky and crazy and doesn't feel like, you know, it's interesting, you
know, like it doesn't feel glitz and glamour or, you know, it just feels kooky and silly
and you know, and fun.
And I think a lot of the time when I see performance outlines, especially, you know, female outlines,
it is very catered to a generalised male gaze audience.
And I guess like you forget, you forget that artist side of it where it's like, well, we
are performing, we are doing this thing.
And I think, um, there's, you know, like, I'm not saying people shouldn't look pretty
or elegant if they want to, but I don't think...
Well, I mean, I have, and I do also still, but it's complicated.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's not as straightforward.
And I feel like it's hard on kids, especially going in with that expectation of, you know,
you know, being adults because, you know, like I talk about it often, but like my cousin's
kids are very much like very close to me and they're like 10 and 13 and one of them's non-binary
and talking to me about like, you know, queer identity and, you know, and not conforming.
And it's funny because I talk to them all about like, you know, friends I know and my
own experiences in the community and everything.
And I just try to give them like positive reinforcement.
And you know, they live in Canberra.
So you know, like, I don't know what Canberra scene is like, but I know Sydney's scene,
you know, particularly in the nineties and the early 2000s was completely different to
it is now where it's like so many people I know are just like so open.
I'm like, I wish I had that kind of level of, I guess, not worry and not fear of like
being who I was and being different and embracing every aspect of myself.
And I think as adults, you know, there's, you know, like, you know, you're saying that
about kids parties and being like, oh, okay, I'm going to move away and, you know, and
do other things because I don't want to sort of, I guess, you know, I don't want to be
that like kids always saying that as well, but you know, for yourself moving away, I
don't want to, you know, do it.
It's really like, it shouldn't be noble, but it does feel a bit noble.
Yeah.
I mean, it's a choice, especially in music theatre.
There are so many roles and Disney is a big part of that.
And I'm not saying I never will and I don't, because I definitely do, you know, and can
present like that.
But I suppose it truly, there was just a big shift in me from, from clowning and it, it
just opened up this mind, this minefield for me of like, I, yeah, it just was the, it was
the instigating event, I suppose of hang on.
Why am I in high heels?
You know, at this event, I don't, I'm not comfortable.
So and, and, you know, these other people, predominantly men are not in high heels.
So why am I?
And also just meeting different people and not just being part of, you know, a small
group of people that I do have and hope to have continually in my life, a wide range
of people that I interact with both in my closest circles and my wider circles, you
know, of different ages and different, different way that they identify and different, you
know, different cultures and I don't know, it just becomes exhausting if you're worried
about skincare all the time for me personally.
Yeah.
I mean, were you doing clowning basically at the same time?
And that was the incentive reason to drop kids' parties?
Yeah.
No, I, at the time I was doing, I was a captain starlight, the Royal Tourism Hospital.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
And like, that was great.
And it was sort of a trial by fire a little bit in clowning.
And I definitely, that was a great job.
Like I learnt a lot about myself in that job.
But it's how I got into actually wanting to learn about the craft of clowning a bit more.
And my clown teacher was my colleague at work.
And I only went back to kids' parties because I lost a few jobs during the pandemic.
And so I was like, oh, okay, I'll go back to kids' parties.
And I loved it for a hot minute, you know, and then, and then I just knew that I needed
to not do it anymore.
I mean, what does clowning entail as well?
Like what?
Oh, I'm really not an expert.
I'm still a baby clown.
My understanding of it at this point in time is very much about the actor-audience relationship.
So they're clown wanting to play with the audience and make the audience laugh and,
you know, experiencing the flop together.
And I'm still figuring it out.
But there's a lot, it's about play and silliness and inner child work.
But it's so much about audience.
Like there's this amazing clip of, what's Mr. Bean's name?
Rowan Atkinson?
Rowan Atkinson, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And this clip at like a huge sporting event and they're in a big stadium and there's like
an orchestra and he's playing the piano and he fucks it up because he's a clown and he
can't do it.
But he's just like so hopeful and like living his best life and having the best time.
And it's hilarious.
I mean, like his entire motif is to play to the audience as well.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
And that for me, that's what clowning has been about.
Do you think mime would interest you then?
Like doing some mime classes?
I don't really know anything about mime, but maybe.
I'll do anything.
I love go to class.
Because I mean, like one of my favourite things about comedy is physical comedy.
I've always been a very physical human.
And I love being silly with my body, which is always kind of like, you know, with it.
And I think as a kid, I just, you know, I would practice, you know, falling over, you
know, doing the slapstick, hitting, you know, hitting the wall first with your hand, making
the sound of the thud.
Yeah.
And then just landing your head calmly on the back of your hand.
It's like magic.
And then falling off the wall, which I scared my mother a few times, like, you know, whole
heartedly think I've injured myself.
But I hadn't.
But you know, like I did, I did an A2YP course, which is Australian theatre for young people.
And I did like a week's course where it was about clowning and it was about comedy.
And I loved it.
I thought it was like the bee's knees.
I loved like twisting my body into like different, you know, positions where I could be like,
oh, okay, I'm like this jester with a hunchback and everything.
And I thought that was so cool.
And I think, I think I've always sort of like, I love comedy.
I think it's just kind of like the thing that I remember growing up and going to the hospital.
And I used to have a very big fear of clowns.
Yeah.
Still kind of like hate clowns a little bit.
Like there's something, it's not like people who do clowning, but I just hate the makeup.
And I think it's because it's terrifying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, clowns get a bad rep like that.
It is, it's just the thing.
It's just, it's just something about that.
It's like masks.
But I always felt, you know, loved the appreciation because they would come to the children's
hospital, which was Westmead's Children's Hospital, and they would come and entertain
the kids.
And like, I often say, you know, my partner and I discuss regularly that I should go and
do that and entertain kids, like, you know, because it's the, as you say, it's the bee's
knees of helping small children feel better about themselves.
But you know, like, do you think with your own like style, do you think you're going
to like become, like, do you take inspiration from Rowan Atkinson as a role model?
Or do you have particular role models of clowning or particular like styles of comedy that you
love?
Like, I've got lots of role models.
I don't actually know I'm going to end up being like a comedian.
It's just, it's like clowning and playfulness is just, I suppose, a way of acting that's
just really sat with me.
And I find, I just find it really useful.
It's got really useful tools in it.
I mean, gosh, I would, I would love to be, you know, have a funny show and be a comedic
actor and I hope that that's in my toolkit, but I don't know that it's necessarily the
dream to be like a clown.
It's just, as I said, yeah, part of my actor toolkit.
But in terms of role models, there's this magnificent actor, French actor called Camille
Catton.
I feel like, sorry, French speakers, I might've, might've really butchered that one.
But anyway, she's hilarious.
She has this movie where she is convinced that she's going to marry Prince Harry.
She goes to London from Paris to, to marry Prince Harry and does some like crazy, crazy
shit that hasn't been pre-organized.
Like it's sort of a mockumentary documentary style filming.
So she's, she's a bit of a inspiration.
I really, I try to see as much theater as possible and I love, I love seeing people
just own their power on stage.
And I, you know, I've seen Virginia Gay twice this year on stage.
I saw Cyrano and Boomkac Panto and I was just like so here for how much she just had amazing
grounded presence.
Her power on stage was so cool.
She's totally an inspiration at the moment.
Who's your inspiration at the moment?
At the moment I've got a few.
See, it's a hard question when, when someone's like, who?
And you're like, I don't know.
If I go directors or like styles of things that I love, especially with writing style
or direction style, I love Greta Gerwig.
She's amazing.
She is like little women was phenomenal.
I'm very excited to see Barbie and see what she does with that because yeah, Lady Bird
and Little Women hands down amazing.
I loved, I loved Pretty Woman, which was very depressing, very depressing film, but very,
very insightful.
And I love Carey Mulligan.
Like anything that Carey Mulligan does, I'm always there for.
She is a phenomenal performer.
I know I just find those sort of stories, you know, particularly like very raw stories
about emotion and or, you know, I guess the word like escapism, because it goes back to
like how do we avoid things and how do we sort of like scoot around?
And I guess that's the way I write, which I love writing, like people not saying what
they truly mean.
Like I love, you know, and I think it's why I love like musicals and stuff growing up
as well, because, you know, everyone's singing how they feel in this absurd way.
And it's just like, yeah.
And I've seen a lot of musicals and I think like, I was really, one of my favourite ones
of recent years is Tim Vincenzo's Matilda, which I hands down loved.
And I can't wait to watch the Netflix adaptation of that.
I was really sad to see the Book of Mormon that I didn't get to see it.
So I was very disappointed with that.
But I mean, like, yeah, it's, you know, and it goes to like, you know, like a little bit
of love for theatre and film, like my passion was in theatre, then fell into film and then
into performing like radio dramas and stuff like that.
And I think I have a love for all mediums and particularly like different kinds of styles.
But yeah, like because my first and foremost love was performing, like ever since I was
a kid, I always loved performing.
I thought it was just the funnest thing, being silly, being stupid, like it was just absolutely
adorably fun to be a big idiot and make people laugh.
And I think that that sort of projected in my very young self, which, you know, like
made short films made like, you know, things when I was 10 or 11, with my parents and trying
to see, you know, like, as we talked about before, seeing the playground.
And yeah, there's a little bit of like, I guess, I guess, yeah, it's trying to challenge
myself now, especially with all my inspirations and my love and people who inspire me.
But a lot of a lot of them have come from friends now.
A lot of my inspirations have come from like friends and family members.
And I think that's really become quite clear because, you know, like I'm going to be moving
overseas with my partner, we're going to be moving to Canada.
And so I really think, and I'm like, I'm getting that age where, you know, like, I don't want
to say the age because I'm always going to be young at heart, but I do really want to
make things with people and connect with people and have fun with people.
And I love this because I always want to support, like I'm such a big supporter and like making
people's dreams, like wanting to, and I think that's because ever since I was a kid, I just
want to see people succeed.
And it's all about having fun, you know, doing any of that.
I always get, you know, like when, you know, that perfectionism stuff sort of creeps in,
I can't let it control me and just go and tear it away.
Like, that's where I see a lot of my inspiration, you know, like reminders that, you know, my
mum and dad were in short films and they couldn't act for anything, but they did it because
it was fun.
And they wanted to support my, you know, love for things like that to me.
And the fact that, you know, like you did kids' parties and stuff, it's that sort of like childhood
joy and then, you know, like, yeah, obviously like I recently had to step away from a project,
which just wasn't bringing me any more joy anymore.
And it was a good move.
Like it was emotionally a good move for me because I was like, okay, tick off that chapter,
that project's done.
I don't feel like I need to add any more to it.
But I'm looking forward to so many more that, you know, are coming my way and so many more
ideas that I'm writing.
And that's kind of like, that's where I get, yeah, it's, yeah, there's no straight answer.
That's a very long-winded answer as well.
But you know, like-
I think at the end of the day, maybe what we're talking about is that life is inspiration.
So if you can, you know, meet people and work with people and be with people from all different
walks of life, then there's going to be inspiration, whether they be the big fancy famous ones
or the person you meet, you know, in the supermarket because they can't reach the top shelf.
And so, you know, you get the kind of suit for them.
Like it's, it is just, it's supposed to be about paying attention to the people around
you for that, like all kinds of inspiration, isn't it?
I was thinking about this actually, just cause those that know me well know that I'm quite
obsessed with my sister.
And you know, she's a wonderful human, but she is, I find her so, I mean, because she's,
we're so close, but I find her inspirational because of the things that she's overcome.
And it's been not necessarily huge, crazy things, but being part of the process and
watching her grow was like, Oh my goodness, you're amazing.
It's nice.
It's very nice.
I like it.
I love that.
I think, you know, I'll never say anyone's experiences in life, you know, are, you know,
small or insignificant because you know, the amount of experiences that, you know, I talk
about with my family and my partner and I, you know, it's like you and your sister, you
know, I just get excited for every achievement, even, you know, even in the last two years,
so many things have changed and you know, confidence and you know, and outlook and everything
and defining, defining things.
It's just, yeah, it's, it's nice.
Like I always look up to my partner.
I always think that she's like, she's my inspiration on a daily basis to kind of keep, keep doing.
It sounds really mushy, but you know, like, you know, it's a hundred percent the reason
I love her because, you know, she's just such a hugely positive person, even when life is,
and life has not been fair on either of us, but you know, particularly I've never met
someone who makes, you know, so much time and so much love for people unconditionally
like time and energy into people as much as her.
And I think that is a huge, like, you know, and I think she says the same about me.
It was like, it doesn't matter what happens.
You could get kicked down a thousand times.
You'll still get back up and keep going.
And I think that's to me is inspirational people.
That's when it gets exciting because yeah, life, life, as we say, isn't fair.
It's not always going to be an easy road.
But at the end of the day, it's those connections, it's those moments, it's those things that
we make people smile and you know, they're, you know, like the moments you have with your
sister and the moments I've heard from you today, those are the moments we live for.
Those are the things that we get excited for.
And I believe that everyone has a story.
Doesn't matter how insignificant or, you know, silly it sounds, everyone has a story.
Everyone's important.
Which is crazy because if we try to, we try to transcribe and write all eight billion
of us like, wow, and then think about all the future, oh my goodness, all the future
people and because you, you know, we, we have positioned ourselves as very important beings
on this world.
Like, you know, humans are like, they're the most important.
I'm not quite sure what I'm saying when I'm just like, my brain is just like, wow, I think
I'm coming to terms with just right now in this interview of how many people exist and
have existed and will exist.
It's like,
It's overwhelming.
Like that's just occurred to me.
Can I just say
The ripe old age of 28, realizing that I cannot comprehend what eight billion people looks
like.
Just don't think about it in a day like that.
Okay.
I'll just, I'll just, um, just keep it to right here right now.
And then I'll never think about it again.
La la la la la.
You know, this is the rule I share is there's, there are a lot of creatures under the sea
that we will never see.
Oh my gosh.
I know.
Right.
How cool.
I know.
It's nuts.
I actually know on a cool note, I saw a dugong this morning.
Did you know?
Yeah, I did.
Oh yeah.
The aquarium.
Yeah.
So cool.
So fucking cool.
And I just like, I watched it eat this morning.
I was like, oh my God, no one ever sees this shit.
Nice.
I was like, I'm going to eat it in the morning to watch a, watch a dugong eat.
It was a good experience, but you know, like, yeah, I try not to think.
I think I had like, it's funny it was years ago, but I had that existential crisis of
like, you know, we're all mortal.
And I literally had to like talk myself out of it for five minutes.
I was like, it's fine.
It's fine.
We're here.
We're alive.
It doesn't matter.
But I was like, oh my God, my own mortality.
Nice.
That's a big one.
Yeah.
And it's the little brain, the little voice, the little voice in my head, you know, I soften
it occasionally.
Yeah.
But no, I mean, before we wrap up, before we sort of like end on a high note.
Yeah.
I feel like, I feel like it's been a rollercoaster or an interview and I kind of loved every
second of it.
How's it now?
Okay.
That's exciting.
Why?
Well, you have, you have more, more data to compare it.
Like I haven't been doing your interviews.
So if it's a rollercoaster, cool.
That's true.
No, I think you've done great today.
I think you're phenomenal.
Oh no, no, no, no.
It's not, not about like how I've done.
I just mean like, I have nothing to compare it against.
That's true.
This is our first interview together, you know, you've done many of these.
I have, I have, I mean, it's very scary now.
I've done over a hundred and I'm just like, what is my life?
It's amazing.
Here's my question for you.
Okay.
If you could tell, if you could tell your past self, your young self advice that you
have now and lessons that you have learned, what would you tell young Mon?
What a great question.
It'd be something about intuition, knowing that I know the answers.
I think I, um, as a, as a kid and as a teenager, was there like a really good girl, you know,
followed the rules and did what I was told to do.
But sometimes that was at a detriment and I didn't necessarily listen to what my needs
were.
Um, and you know, this is probably a lifelong thing, um, and a very human thing, but, um,
I probably would say to, um, you know, like 14 year old Mon, you, you know, the answers
and it's okay to act on how you feel.
I love that.
But it's, it's the same as before about the self critic.
Like that's something I think I will be forever reminding myself.
I love that.
I know I, you know, I will say this and this isn't kind of with any sort of like, you know,
input from you, but I think you are an awesome person.
You are very like, thank you so much.
But yeah, no, you're very like, you're very interesting.
And I think, yeah, like I can see you going far and, you know, just being very like creative
in life.
You're very good.
Thank you.
You're very good at what you do.
I'm trying.
I believe in you.
Even though that's self-critic, I believe.
Thanks.
I believe in you too.
Thank you.
Crazy.
The crazy pair that we are.
Like, you know, we're not a figment of anyone's imagination.
We exist.
We do exist.
We're here.
We're real.
Isn't that thing, is it like, you know, if you believe in the tooth fairy, the tooth
fairy is then real or?
Oh yeah.
There's probably some like Disney summation of that thought.
I just imagine it's Dwayne Johnson from that movie Tooth Fairy.
Oh yeah.
I haven't seen that movie, but I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
It takes you back though.
Weird times of early Dwayne Johnson career.
All right.
My final question, my final question of the night, where can people find you Mon?
Where can they stalk you?
Where can you stalk me?
Instagram or come find me in the park.
Just randomly on a bench?
I'm often in the park, especially when the sun's out, out for a walk.
Come find me in the park anyone.
Come say hi.
I love a chat.
Come say hi.
It'd be great.
No.
I don't know.
I don't like this question.
Which one?
I don't know, I don't like this question, which you know, that is an interesting thing
in itself because I would like to be more comfortable with self-promotion.
But yeah, my Instagram is something like monstagram or something.
I don't know.
It will be in the bio.
Okay.
You've really, you've really like uncovered a bit of a raw spot for me.
I'm like, but actually, actually here's some self-promotion.
I am part of a play called Pillow Fight and we have a few different tour dates that haven't
been finalized, but we are doing some fun performances next year.
So if you want to see a wonderful play by Laura Lethline about patriarchy, sex and power
and consent, search Pillow Fight and you'll see me in that.
That's how you can stalk me.
That's fucking cool.
Yeah.
And I think it's a wonderful theatre company in Melbourne.
It's magnificent play.
I feel so incredibly grateful to have been a part of it and we had a lot of fun putting
it together.
Lots of silliness, but you know, heavy play too, which I sort of love being part of a,
you know, wider conversation.
I really hope it comes to Sydney when and if, because that would be awesome to see.
If you want to make that happen, I'll be there.
I'll talk.
I'll talk to my people.
I'll make it happen.
Great.
But no, it was an absolute pleasure talking to you tonight.
Right back at you.
Thank you.
And if you want to go and check out more episodes of The Things We Do, you can check them out
on Apple and Spotify.
I'll be speaking with another guest next week and I'll speak to you all later.
Goodbye.
Bye.