Oh, oh, oh, oh, hello everyone.
And welcome to the most festive Christmasy episode, a present to you all.
Fried Rice podcast.
I'm your ho ho host, Andy Rice.
Let's get fried.
With me as always are my little elves.
We have Michael, it's basically Slapstick, Larson.
Merry Christmas.
We have Brennan.
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
da shiply out of Boston.
Hello everybody.
My little elf, and of course we have our most specialist little helper.
Oh, yeah, it's it's Jesse.
Oh gee, Willikers.
Lee Hart.
Happy to be here.
Merry Christmas.
All right, everybody.
Welcome everybody.
The Christmas special.
Merry Christmas is going to release a few days before Christmas.
So Christmas is right around the corner unless you've already unless you're listening to
this later than after Christmas, then Christmas is already passed.
If you're listening to this in March, what are you doing?
Do other countries have different Christmases?
No, no, no, because Thanksgiving in Canada is a different day.
When is their Christmas?
Do they have a Thanksgiving?
Yes.
Yeah.
What are they thankful for?
It's Canada.
Everything.
I mean, boxing, waterfalls, politeness, mooses, and how you son of a bitch.
We just talked about this.
We listened to the very popular the plural of moose by the carpets.
If you're not subscribed on YouTube, shout out to the carpets.
I know you're setting shout out to carpets.
I think it's just carpets.
I don't know.
Carpets.
I mean, with the carpets, the very popular band that's the very plural of goose.
Yeah, that's their song.
The plural.
Don't mean to confuse you.
This is a this is a cover.
Yeah, that's great.
So like I said, it's the Christmas special.
I've got my Christmas tree up and I've got my lava lamp going.
I've got my trash can lights on, which is a weird thing that I have.
It's just I wrapped Christmas lights around a trash can once and I just kept it there
and it just takes your trash can makes it look nice.
So how are you guys are your houses looking now?
Are you ready?
Are you setting up?
Yes, we've set up.
We now went to we used to spend hours doing the outside stuff and now we just have a couple
of blow ups.
We just plug them in and we're done.
Yeah, my house is perpetually.
So I live in what used to be an office that was then before that a morgue in like the
night or in the 60s, 50s or earlier.
Who knows?
And then it was a church before that.
So it's not a very conventional like layout of space.
Right.
Is it an apartment complex?
No, it's like it's a house.
It's a kind of a house, but it's like it used to be a morgue.
Yes.
Prior to that, it was a church.
Uh huh.
It is now my my my dwelling.
I don't know what is the sadder of the three things that this place has been.
Yeah, I don't know if if if being a church like no, no, but being a failed church is
sad.
It was a church of science in the 1900s.
Like a church of what?
A church of science in like 1910.
Church of science.
Is that like science?
Yeah, some I don't know.
Some shit.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's weird.
And just using the word dwelling.
That's my dwelling currently.
I don't think I've ever used the word dwelling.
I dwell a lot in there.
That's why I call it a dwelling.
You live there alone?
Yeah, yeah.
Um, but so I don't I don't have a lot of decorations except for like, um, there's this giant door
window combination that's in my middle door that anybody could just see into.
So I bought one of those, uh, Spirit Halloween door stretch covers.
And so Leatherface is perpetually watching over the neighborhood.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
That's cool.
And there's a window that I have that faces the street out here, uh, for the podcast studio
that isn't a studio yet, but will be soon.
And I really wanted to put a picture of I want the what I wanted it to look like was
if the window was open and you were looking through it.
So the perspective I want to take a picture from outside of the window from like where
you be driving by and just have Dario and I just standing just kind of like just smiling
or doing something like real creepy just in the in the background.
So every time you drive by, it would look as if my window was open and you were just
seeing us just staring at the thing.
And that would be cool because it's subtle and it's not a noticeable character.
So people would like anybody really if anybody knows where we can get a standee, I want to
get a standee.
You know those things?
Oh, yeah.
I want my friend had one of a of John's self of John Wayne, but he had it behind like a
curtain with like light shining behind that.
So it's like the shadow that was standing and it would hold it would fuck with we trying
to trick the hard.
Yeah, yeah.
That's awesome.
Speaking of he's had two different people scream at his house at like any hour of the
night.
The fuck you looking at?
What are you looking at?
You know, that's what you get.
That's what I would get.
So you shoot through the fucking window.
They'd be like, you think you're funny?
And I'll just be doing to take a shit or something.
I'll just get shot through the fucking.
I was a wide a math teacher when I was younger who he told me that he grew up in the ghetto
and his mom still lived in the ghetto and which as an old lady, she she went to she
was taking a dump in the bathroom, just sitting on the toilet as a some dude was running away
from some gang members trying to get away from them, trying to shoot him to death.
They were driving around and he was running from house to house just trying to fight anywhere
to get into.
He goes to her door and he's pounding on the door.
She's in the bathroom.
She doesn't know what's going on.
They fire at her house.
Bullet goes through the window and hits her right in the titty and it stays there and
it falls down and they had to like surgically remove the remnants of a bullet from underneath
her, her like 70 year old boob.
I said the bullet fell down or the titty fell down?
Well, the titties were down already down.
Yeah.
The Mike.
Oh, gotcha.
The titties were already down.
OK.
Because she's 70.
I mean, no offense to any 70 year old women listening.
I'm sure your titties are fine.
You know what?
Send a picture, put it in the comments.
We don't know.
Fried Rice podcast, podcast, email dot com.
Send us your titties.
OK.
Anyway, let's do the one we go.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
My classic bit.
I'll never do again because I hate it to death.
I hate everything I've ever done comedically and I have to start fresh.
That last show we did at Heat Hotel.
I did so badly.
Yeah.
Who would have thought that Harry Potter soundtrack music wouldn't have gone over with the 50
year olds that are in?
You could have done a 50.
I think that the material I was using was still the kid friendly stuff that I had from
the Comic Con.
Yeah, that's that's the problem with your weed smoking is that it delays your perception
of audiences.
They you're in front of at least a month and a half.
There's two hundred and fifteen people there and everyone's laughing at all the sex jokes
and the dick jokes.
And I come out there.
I'm like, well, I've got this friend.
It's a real, real true joke.
He's a lizard and he happens to be an undercover.
See, that's when they knew he shouldn't have said he was.
It was a true story.
Yeah.
He was a true friend.
Yeah, I should have.
They were mad at the fact that you lied about your lizard friend.
I know I shouldn't do that.
Anyway, the punchline to that, if anyone's listening, is he he he was he got his tail.
You know, I ruined it.
There you go.
I ruined it.
I'm going to have to pay to prevent all that laughter from that joke.
You never know.
Some people like it.
I was I told that at the at the as surprisingly, I told that at the hairdresser yesterday because
I was getting my all the later.
You're paying that's making you laugh.
You laugh for you.
All right.
Wow.
That was way more of an aggressive fucking turn than I expected right now.
Because that's not what happened.
You son of a bitch.
It was so funny.
I got a parallel thoughts.
No, first off, the guy that I was paid to cut my hair didn't laugh.
He was spaced out or whatever.
But the haircut next to me, I went to sports clips.
Yeah, I know the guy you're talking about.
He cut my hair.
Tall blonde guy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He's an awkward fella.
We'll probably cut this out.
But no, he's not awkward.
He's well, no, he's a little awkward.
But I like it because he keeps quiet.
He does keep quiet.
He also that's what you want from a haircut.
Yeah, but he like shoes.
He's a thousand times.
I've never seen he just started and he chooses to speak at odd times and in the middle of
sentences you go to the sports clips here in Bullhead.
Yeah.
Oh, you and I, buddy.
Look at that.
We all do.
I think living in a different state.
Oh, well, there's nothing but hairdressers and shit around my areas.
I will say this.
He gives a great haircut.
His dick does he does press his dick up.
Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Right on your elbow.
Yeah.
I'm glad that the girl I get presses her titties against me.
No.
Well, listen, because I'm just going to say I think this guy might be gay.
I was like, gay autistic.
It's that it's a weird.
You know what I mean?
Maybe this is all going to get cut out.
Gaytastic.
Yeah.
That's what he just said.
I don't know.
But I do.
I do think he's gay.
I'm getting I get gay vibes.
I don't really get gay vibes.
From a lot of people, I get it from him.
So but the thing is, is like, is a good haircut worth just the occasional dick on my shoulder?
Or I mean, you probably get worse back because he lowers the chair.
So his dick goes right up shoulder, maybe neck height sometimes.
Yeah.
He gets it right up on there.
He presses it.
I see I looked in the mirror and I saw the way he was standing and it was leaning.
It was like out first.
He was like leaning back to cut my hair.
Yeah.
Just just to put someone's nearsighted.
Not so much.
Yeah.
So anyway, I should tell the story today.
I was maybe going to.
I did.
I've been thinking about talking about this person because like it's oh, you were maybe
talking about this arena to not separate bits.
Not talking about the scene.
No, no, no.
I see.
I couldn't come.
I couldn't come up with anything other than like, yeah, I think this guy's gay or autistic.
It's about as far as I went.
So if you got gaytastic, no, yeah, he was he was telling a story about I don't like it.
I didn't like it that I said.
It's a compliment, not a slur.
Yeah, he was he was trying to tell me the story about how some guy had road rage against
him and he's telling the story.
So this guy.
Yeah.
Is that like 45 seconds later ran me off the road and I was like, what the fuck?
Yeah, it's like for me, it's like, so this guy.
And I'm just like, and then like a minute and a half later, I'm like, yeah.
And then he's like, and then he's like, he's like, what?
And then I'm like, oh, so I freaking maybe he's on medication, you know.
What do you do for fun?
Rub my dick on your shoulder.
Maybe I will talk about this.
I'll just be way less funny later when I do this on stage.
I fucking hate standup comedy.
I wish everything was podcast.
And then we just I wish what it was is when I knew that I was going to be funny here,
riffing, I could just open up a curtain, have 300 people ready to just at any given moment
to laugh at that part.
And then I could put the curtain down until funny.
Yes.
That's how stand up comedy should work.
Yeah.
Actually, I do.
It's where you have to like harness it.
I want to put the idea out here now.
So I think I think I can make this work.
So we do a heart.
Do you want to keep that story in this podcast?
I don't know if you want to offend or hairdressers.
He's not going to be offended.
Yeah.
He's not going to remember the fucking.
I tried to tell him 10 times what the podcast was called.
He's going to remember.
And then he says relentlessly, he goes, he says, I always space out, man.
And I'm like, yeah, no, you don't need to tell me.
I get it.
Like maybe he smokes.
Maybe he smokes a lot of weed.
I mean, yeah, I mentioned weed.
He did.
He did laugh.
So maybe.
But you get him on the podcast.
That'd be all right.
Oh, I would absolutely.
I want to podcast.
Oh, yeah.
That's a great.
He could put his dick on you guys.
You can see what it's like.
So experience the luster of what me and Andy deal with.
I don't know if it's hard or if it's just that he has a hard angle on those jeans, but
it's not a soft experience.
It's a it's a poke.
It's a jagged poke in my neck, shoulder, elbow area.
I think he knows what he's doing, too, because like he won't ask you if you want like the
MVP experience.
You know what I mean?
Oh, he just takes you to the back and he just puts your head in the.
No, yeah, no.
Yeah, he forces you down there.
He takes you to the back and shoves your head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he shoves it in the sink.
He doesn't even offer.
He's just like, he's like, don't worry.
Just come here.
And then he just massages your head and it's a good massage.
He does that for you.
Yeah.
I mean, he's never done that for me.
Yeah.
Maybe he doesn't find me attractive.
I don't see how you and I are almost the same person.
I was had better hair and beard.
Yeah.
I mean, the Democratic Republican really is like the only difference between us.
Well, I mean, Justin, the Mike Pence.
They don't get into.
I look like that.
That's what you mean.
Yeah.
But yes.
Anyway, I want to put this out there for just before we get to our smoking.
But I want to put this out there.
I'm thinking and I could probably get this to work.
February.
So if you are a listener of the show, come out to Bullhead City in February.
I will come up with an exact date soon.
So just keep listening.
But we are going to do the a live uncensored not for not with kids around Fried Rice podcast
episode.
So Miracle Mile or Miracle Mile.
Yeah.
So I'll talk to them.
I'm sure they'll let me do it.
But February is my birthday time.
So that's I think is like a fun time to do it.
I can get friends out there for maybe birthday stuff and then combine it with that.
I wonder if we could do an early show for the comedy gig and then say, hey, we're going
to do a podcast after.
We could totally.
So we get everybody there.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But that so if you are not to say that the namesake alone, a Fried Rice podcast won't
get droves.
No, no, I see.
Upon droves of people.
But sarcasm is unnecessary.
The idea I liked, I think being a dick about it, maybe didn't need you to throw that in
there because yeah, maybe just for a podcast alone won't get us a big fucking audience
piece of shit.
But yeah, maybe if we piggyback off a much more successful thing that we're a part of
yes.
So we'll get like we'll get like 20 more people there to begin.
Yeah, it's a it's a it's a combo Mojave comedy and Fried Rice podcast live.
It'll be the first.
It'll be the grandest.
We're it's going to be a lot of fun.
We're going to have special guests.
We're going to do some we're going to give away some prizes.
Where did that come from?
This is where I cue a sound for a shrug.
I gave like a who knows?
Anyway, he looked at none of us when he did it.
He looked at the TV as if that's recording him.
Yeah.
OK, great.
So now that that's out of the way, let's get into what are we smoking?
Cue music.
Yeah, perfect.
I love that music.
So Brendan, what'd you bring?
I brought.
Put the mic up.
I brought West Coast Cure Cushmints.
It's a hybrid.
THC is 29 percent.
Lemon Kush or Cushmints Lemon Cushmints.
And then I brought a Jeter baby cannon.
This one is called Boom Boom.
And so last time it was bubble gum.
So I'm glad we're switching.
Yeah.
Boom Boom.
No, trust me.
It's got a name that sounds like a weapon.
Yeah.
We did Chernobyl one time and that was that one was intense.
That caused radiation poisoning in my lungs for about a week.
Yeah.
It's still hot in here from it.
Yeah.
We're we're going to get into this a little bit later for Mike's.
The next door neighbor is growing a tumor out of his head.
That's how crazy that weed was.
Can you bring up Chernobyl later when we get into the who the what are we segment later?
Yeah, just bring up Chernobyl later.
It actually talks it actually bleeds into ties into what you're talking about.
Yeah.
So what then I brought with me baby Jeter prickly pear.
It's an indica and it's infused.
Of course, it's a Jeter and these things are fucking monsters.
I also were smoking a new half ounce.
It is from jars.
It's Mojave Reserve.
It's Bubba's sins.
Bubba's sins.
I don't like that there's two S's.
It should be either called Bubba's sin or Bubba sins or Bubba's with a Z and then sin
with a S. Right.
I do think I'm a bus.
Yes.
And that's in.
Is that another indica?
It is.
Wait, it's a or a hybrid.
I'm not sure.
I'm in the couch.
I'm sure it's not.
That's what we've been smoking so far.
It's a bit strong.
It's good.
It feels like what's your Jeter?
Is it?
I got an indica this week.
Oh, y'all are just trying to make me nap.
Yeah.
But the most important thing is the newest addition to the Fried Rice podcast is the Carta
two.
Whoa.
If you could see this, right?
This audio medium is perfect for this.
Just I literally I visually turned on this cool dab ring that has a glowing LED.
Hey, where do you look at the TV again when he did it?
I have to see the funny thing with with this is I have to this Carta two, which is a dab
doesn't have Bluetooth capabilities.
It has an app.
Why?
It has an app that connects to the rig.
Tell me you can like automatically light it on.
Oh, like right here.
I can absolutely start.
Wow.
That's I mean, that's I mean, can you like can you light your weed?
Can you vape your weed by a press of a button from your app?
You know what I'm saying?
I can't smoke it from my phone if that's what you're.
No, no.
I'm not asking that.
I know.
Physically, you can't hand this to you.
How cool would that be, though, if you could light that up and smoke out of your headphone
port?
You know what I mean?
I can hit the button and make it go from here.
That's what I mean.
Yeah, it'll heat up.
Yeah.
But let me change this to pretty.
Which I think is a better.
There's presets of lights, which I think is kind of cool.
Like that one's cool because it switches between each color.
Whatever.
You're right.
I'm not going to do an audio.
Oh, isn't it cool how I was turning this color right now?
Yeah.
Oh, isn't it cool how I was turning this color right now?
No, the reason I bring up the app is it gives you XP when you smoke.
They gamified.
They gamified to dabbing.
So I have a hundred XP.
We're about to make it a little bit more.
All right.
You know, you know, they have weight loss apps that do the same thing.
Hey, shut the fuck up.
I'm not implying anything I'm saying from my end.
I wish I would have.
I'd be doing that.
I should do that and see who gets better.
I'll do the weight loss app thing and then maybe I'll like get some sort of thyroid condition.
You know what I mean?
Oh, so you're saying you'll do the Oh, then you just got to do this when you're hitting
it.
Just push on it.
Oh, okay.
Oh, that's the car.
The tops the car pretty much.
You're going to need to keep talking, Jesse, because we're going to be.
Oh, yes.
I, yeah, you're getting fried rice.
Yes.
And weight loss apps are neat.
And I hear you can get paid for like for using those, which is kind of cool.
If only you can get paid for smoking weed.
You know, I suppose you could if you were like maybe a weed smoking tester guy, perhaps
an organ.
Vamping.
We're vamping.
And he's dying.
It's weird how you're you kind of have to tickle it in order to you never do you never
clear the bowl on one of these.
I think it's impossible to clear.
Try as you might.
Oh, yeah.
The beginning it's it's keeps filling the bowl.
How much how much do you put in there at a time there, Andrew?
I want answers now.
Yeah.
Every time I watch someone because I never do this like a half a gram or every time I
watch someone do this, it looks like they're not enjoying it.
Yeah, it never looked.
It never looks enjoyable.
They're like confident.
I'm like, I can get a box.
Yeah, it's weird because it looks like you're free basing meth or crack.
And then but it's like so you're reacting as if you would react years into a crippling
crack addiction.
But now that's kind of cool.
I've never quite understood the enjoyment they get out of it.
Just give me a nice clean hit off a bog.
Once you're done coughing, it's you're done.
Yeah, it's ideal.
Then you feel great.
There's an initiative like searing panic after the panic is over.
Yeah, they don't really know whenever really labels wax.
You got it like it puts it in the original package and then then it's just a jar.
So I've got some batter.
I've got some crumble.
I've got some shatter.
I've got some I wish something else.
Rumble, right?
Because crumble could have been a fucking poem stumble.
I have some stumbles.
It doesn't exist, but I like it.
Yeah, so fuck.
That was great.
Brennan, what do you think?
That was tasty.
Yeah, that was really cool.
It hits really good.
It hits nice.
Yeah.
What product was in there?
So some wax crumble.
I put this shit in.
So it so rest assured, guys, it tasted good.
We just did good.
What is it?
We don't know.
It tasted good.
No, no, no.
Tasty wax.
Yes, it made them high.
It's so so don't worry about that.
They're high.
She's back in the couch now.
I'm just taking a second to just really bask in this glory.
It might be it's possible that that's too much for podcast.
I know it's weird how it kind of looks like a toilet.
Just got to go to sleep now.
The vaporizer of going to sleep.
I think that's part of my bit tonight is you.
But I'm not going to talk about it again.
It's been on the podcast a thousand times the time you fell asleep.
Fuck it.
During the podcast after the podcast.
I don't know.
We all this end we've talked about it.
We've talked about it a few times.
But basically, yeah, he one of the first times.
One of the first episodes we had, he fucking could he took too many hits.
He sat down on the computer chair and then just woke up six hours later.
I did my whole day's activities.
I fucking played the laundry.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
Like, I did everything.
and then just, yeah, I'm OK.
Now, the non exaggerated version of that story is it was all true,
except for it was only about three hours. But yes,
I did not leave here at midnight.
Everybody knows that pop math is when you fall asleep, it's three hours.
When you get high, it's also another three hours.
Yeah. So it has a being.
Well, OK, for you, 37 hours.
Yeah. So now you being asleep, I'm sure it felt like no time at all.
But for me, having someone in my house while I'm trying to live my everyday life,
it felt like three days.
So I split the difference six hours. You son of a bitch.
I got a new cat blanket.
Sorry, that was intentional.
I just swallowed it.
Yeah. Mike did a full double take
because I was pointing at the cat blanket, which was next to him.
So he which you would know a faithful listener because you can see this on video.
Oh, I know. Next year.
By the way, look forward to our season premiere should we should have
in January, we should maybe be doing some video.
So rest assured, we looked exactly as you think we might.
Yes, we actually do.
I don't know. I'm way handsomer than you're probably thinking.
Then your voice. You think you're as handsome as your voice?
No, no. Sorry. Sorry. Other way around.
I'm worse than what you think I might
say, still look like Ted Cruz no matter what.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ted Cruz.
Go watch. Go watch the 97% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Somehow Lady Ballers for a cameo of Ted Cruz.
Women's sports are being transformed.
So might as well make a very outdated fucking comedy movie daily wire.
So so that you know, we actually do the same as this podcast
before and after the podcast.
So this is just our daily.
We're watching.
We watched the trailer for that God awful.
Whatever the fuck.
I was walking in on Shapiro being a referee or some shit. Yes.
Yeah, you walked in right at the end of it.
Anyway, that's never going to be a movie that we do on this podcast.
But speaking of which, let's get back in the Christmas spirit just a little bit.
Sound like I'm about to do a sound cue, Jesse.
Wait, we're doing a different no copyright song.
Here we go. Here we go.
Happy Christmas music. Here we go.
All right.
I don't know.
Boy, I'm filled with holiday cheer.
Oh, that's anyway.
I don't know.
I don't know if that put me in the Christmas spirit or what.
But anyway, we did eight crazy nights.
Whoo.
And I thought we were.
What are we fucking doing things?
No, we're doing that after.
Oh, after I see. OK.
Never mind. I feel like I feel like that's a that's a good
balance cleanser, right?
Because typically what it's been is we've been doing the movie
and then I've just been sort of like, now what?
And then we just fill time.
Yeah. And I would rather us have that's where we have our maybe.
It's it's weird that you feel like you have to fill time.
No, you're absolutely right.
This is entirely up to me how long this goes on for.
But in my mind, I feel like like it's what the people want.
I have to give them at least an hour and a half of content.
But anyway, we're going to get into do you do music for when we do movie intros?
I can. I love. Yeah.
I think your addition to adding music to all the shit has been awesome.
OK, cool. Has everyone agreed to having the having the music
is awesome stuff has been cool. OK, so.
Yeah, so cue that music.
All right. There we go.
All right. This week's movie is eight crazy nights.
Starring Adam Sandler came out in 2002
and it is less a Christmas movie and more a Hanukkah movie,
but less a Hanukkah movie and more a holiday movie and less a holiday movie
and more of a redemption arc of an asshole with a tragic past.
Yeah, it's a every it's Jews.
Scrooge is what's happening here.
Jews. Wow. OK.
Hold on. My brain is doing
it's processing mistakes to find out how offensive that is.
How much I should laugh because you because you in the room.
It's OK. All right. Yeah.
You screwed unless unless the original Scrooge was also a Jew.
But I think I don't think he was.
Yeah. So are we allowed to say a Jew or do we is a Jewish?
We don't care. Individual.
He was an if he was an individual Jew.
Yeah. You'd want to be known as a Jew.
Yeah. You'd want to be known as a Jew Jew.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Especially if you had more words to it would be wrong.
You know, aggressive.
Yeah, I've never in my life.
I just felt more uncomfortable
than right now with all this Jew talk.
And it's only because it's like we're talking about how offensive is to say it.
So it's getting you got to be kidding me, dude.
It's getting anyway.
You screwed a crazy nights.
It's a wonderful redemption arc.
Let's get into it. Let's break it down.
It's a very simple plot.
We don't even need to really go hard into because I want to think of every
Adam Sandler movie ever.
Now, that's what you've said earlier this earlier this week, but I'm going to.
And I've been thinking about it.
You said it's the best one. No.
A worse one. No, no, no.
It's just the same.
He says it's the same as every other Adam Sandler in which I have examples
of how it's not of how it's not.
Yes. When I say every I am exaggerating, but most you see in one movie,
he played the devil's son.
And in this movie, he played a very upset guy.
No, no, no. Actually, that's a good point.
In Little Nicky, he plays a good person throughout it all. Right.
In this movie, he starts off as an asshole and becomes not even good.
He just redeems himself slightly. Right.
He doesn't really have a redemption.
He does get some.
He does get laid at the end, I guess, and maybe starts a family.
It's sort of like, oh, dad, stop hitting me.
So that's a plus. You know what I mean?
Yeah. OK. Yeah. Pretty good redemption.
I don't think he gets everything he wants.
I don't think that this movie ends on a note where he lives happily ever after.
I think he walks off with a chick.
He's about to go bang.
And then I think he's going to go get drunk and leave her.
I don't think he's changed as you would be.
He cried. But that's what we're getting way ahead of ourselves.
Very much. So let's start at the beginning.
It starts with a wonderful song where it's well, we know.
It starts with narration from Rob Snider, which is that who was.
But it's a song. It absolutely is a musical. Yeah.
Yeah. I think all the music slaps.
The original songs are great. I do enjoy it.
That's a technical.
That's my favorite song.
It's a good, good voice. Yeah. Funny song.
Yeah. Not only is that a technical foul, but possibly a homicide. Yeah.
There are there are very funny parts in the music.
Oh, I love white dude. He's so good. He's so good.
So, OK.
Uh, starts off with him with the narration showing typical holiday stuff.
Christmas Hanukkah, that's great.
But then it shows Davey and Davey is a fucking drunk asshole.
Man, he's a real just this troubled guy. He's real upset.
Yeah. He's a piece of shit.
It's one outfit that keeps the whole movie.
Yeah. So he's like Bart Simpson. Yeah.
He's a very small town piece of shit you think of.
It's like it's it's it's a very stereotypical.
Yeah. Like town drunk pretty much all the time.
He's mean to people. He's 33 year old town drunk. Yeah. Yeah. So. Huh.
Gary, I'm sorry.
Yeah. OK. Here's the thing.
I wasn't looking at Jesse and then I wanted to check in
to make sure he wasn't staring at me when he said that
because he was looking up his own shit, which is fine.
In a town drunk in the town stoner, what's the difference?
Oh, there's so many differences between being the town stoner
and the town drunk and he gets his ham.
When he's a town stoner and nobody knows. Yes.
No, everyone knows.
They do. No one cares. Yeah.
I'm the house of the town stoner for sure.
Or so I'm one of them.
One of right. Yeah.
Because there's never a town drunk.
There's so many towns owners that they require a town dispensary for said
stonage. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Multiple. It's always a type of person, if we're being honest.
It's just like something turns someone into an asshole at some point in their life.
And they said they doubled down and tripled down.
And now they're just the most intolerable, you know, intolerable piece of shit.
You can imagine. Yeah, that's Davey.
And he fucks up these ice sculptures.
One's a menorah and one's a Santa Claus.
Something should have been a Jesus, right?
So you can't knock over an ice Jesus.
And I knocked over a menorah with no problem.
Well, yeah, but you're allowed to. Yeah.
Well, menorah is just a
object of candle. Yeah, it's just a candle.
Yeah, I think it's more than just a candle.
That's why they bring it out once a year.
They light it each night of the week.
It's seven candles, eight candles, eight, eight, eight.
I thought there was seven.
Whatever. I don't know.
Well, that's why it's called eight crazy nights, huh, buddy?
It's like eight crazy.
Eight of those crazy nights.
I thought one of those I thought one of those.
You know, it's just occurring to me right now.
I've seen this movie.
No, no, no. Hold on.
I've seen this movie 10,000 fucking times in my life.
It's my one of my favorite.
I've got 10,000 crazy nights with this movie.
I watch it. So I've watched it so many times.
And it's now just to me.
It's just occurring to me.
Did the opening scene take place on the first night of Hanukkah?
Yeah. And the last scene takes place on the last night.
Yes, it's a crazy night.
I never put that together.
My
the no, no, no.
The fucking titles made sense. Yeah.
Crazy nights, eight nights on Hanukkah.
I get it. Eight candlesticks on the menorah.
But I've never followed the through line of them saying in the beginning.
But now it's all hitting me.
This feels like a movie where it's like all the evidence.
Sherlock Holmes is standing there and he finally is figuring it all out.
He sees the it all goes in slow motion floating by.
He sees the like a Petri dish of some science experience.
It's all just just fucking zooming at me.
It's like and the moral of the story is that when you light the last candle,
you get laid by your great school's crush.
Yeah, fuck. Yeah. Your first kiss.
That's how well I always did. First kiss.
When I was a kid.
I'm sure it's happened for you. Yeah, that's
no, my first kiss.
She's married and moved on long ago.
I think she moved on about sixth grade.
So I think we it was a mutual thing.
I think, well, she broke up with me.
We we went to go see.
We were together for about three weeks.
And in that three weeks, Titanic came out
and she took me to go see Titanic.
And it was like her second or third time already going to see the movie.
Yeah, she loved it because she devoted.
What she's part of that reason.
It's fuck. It's it was, you know, one of those biggest.
It's one of the it was the biggest movie.
Yeah. And so seven and a half hours of her life.
Yeah. When we went to go see it.
When Kate Winslet said, paint me like one of your French women
and took her top off, this chick covered my eyes.
She knew titties were coming.
Yeah. She covered my eyes.
She deprived fuck.
Ten year old Andy. Right.
Of how old is she?
Take 10. Huh?
I don't know how we got into Titanic.
Get in the mood. No, we were there.
Maybe maybe we did the old switcheroo, but bought, you know,
tickets to go see Toy Story.
Whatever else was out in 97.
Well, Titanic rated R. Yeah.
What? Titanic rated our movie.
At least 13.
13. You see, you're under you're under 13.
Because no way could have bought no Stegas.
Toy Story must have been the thing.
We must have done a 20 stories Titanic Swapper.
Like so many times. Yes.
It's so funny how you don't remember things right.
Yeah, I understand that, though, because I did the same thing
for You've Got Mail.
Oh, I don't know what I was watching, but I snuck out of that
to go see all fucking Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
I'm 11. What the fuck?
You know, it's just all going over.
I don't understand the nuances of romance.
You know what I mean? Yeah. You know what?
No, I was AOL.
I maybe was a little bit older when You Got Mail came out.
And I understood it perfectly.
That's such a wonderful movie.
I might recommend it one of the days.
What is this?
Thanks for reminding me.
Watch that later. You got me.
You know, it's like, yeah, like you realizing that.
I was just thinking kind of the same thing as I like.
I'm the only Jew in the room, but I'm not Jewish.
It's like by faith of my upbringing.
But when I was a kid, I was my dad, my real dad,
who my mom and him got divorced when I was like five.
So I like had my first five years was Hanukkah. OK.
So it's really weird.
I don't sort of Hanukkah and kind of Christmas
because they were trying to, you know, do Hanukkah
Christmas, Christmas.
But then but then after five, that's an anti-right.
Andy Rice jokes.
So after five straight Baptist, no more Jewish faith, no more.
So I have all these weird little memories like I remember having
dreidels and switch over to a more atheistic view.
Oh, I was I was a young adult.
I mean, 18 or 19.
Probably probably when I went in the military and went to Korea
and saw things, saw there was no God.
So there was no God.
Have you seen Korea?
Yeah. Speaking of gay tistic,
I'm I'm probably autistic, so I need to finish this thought.
So she broke up with me
after we went and saw Titanic after I had my first kiss.
And then about a week later, she went and saw it with Oscar.
This guy that fucking Oscar, another fifth grader.
And I heard that she didn't cover his eyes.
And I didn't understand the nuance of what like
what like getting your heart broken was or whatever.
I wonder if she felt like covering your eyes was like her, like making it
to where you couldn't see her titties because that's how she felt.
Maybe right. She liked.
You know what I mean?
She's like, I don't want this man to see my bosom yet,
but I want Oscar to see my bosom.
One of those one of those got wait.
Oh, so he was the bad boy.
Oh, he was the bad boy.
And I was just. Yeah, he's like Oscar can handle those titties
that I'm projecting onto me. Nice, Andy.
I don't think that's how people refer to me as a nice.
Well, fuck each and every one.
I guess.
I guess. Back to you a little bit.
I thought I saw the panic in your eyes.
I thought, Nope, literal.
I was just waiting to say that you waited.
How long you made this podcast just so you can call that girl out, didn't you?
Yeah.
At least if you're listening.
No, I hope we hope you're enjoying it.
Great. We hope you're loving your married life.
We hope Oscar was good to you.
I hope Oscar wasn't a dick.
He seemed like a good guy.
We didn't necessarily become friends, but we were friends.
We were friends.
We didn't necessarily become friends, but
because of the whole thing, man, because of the whole Titanic thing, honestly.
OK. And and when it hits.
It's great.
And so anyway, after that, in a crazy night.
Oh, so you want to do that?
Oh, yeah, we're back to the movie.
All right. Yeah, let's get back to it. Fuck.
So after crashing into the menorah
and the probably Santa Claus and not Jesus, which it should have been.
He gets arrested and he well, he runs away
and probably one of the best.
He tries to make love to a car.
Initially. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
That's one of the best scenes in the movie.
He I mean, maybe we are going to break this down.
See, I said, break the entire movie.
Let's break it. Let's break the entire movie down.
It's only an hour and 16.
So he. Sorry, he doesn't do anything
to the car. What happens next?
He's drunk and he goes out and you see all the key scratches in his car.
So he's a drunk piece of shit.
He drives drunk all the time, which is fucked up and he shouldn't do that.
And so the cops pull up trying to have a good time.
Come on. Come on, Davey. What are you doing?
He's like, nothing. I'm just going to make sweet love to my car.
You got to watch it. It's funny. He fucks.
Don't you stay up all night. I'll come back to you in the morning. Yeah.
He's really great.
Are you going to like that?
It looks insane. These these little boom boom.
The baby Jeter glass.
What is baby cannons, man?
They're they have a glass glass filter.
Yeah. Glass tip thing.
It's fucking insane. They're so good.
It's aggressive. It's so next level.
Brendan, bring the good stuff.
Oh, yeah. So he gets arrested.
He goes to jail.
And when he go or when he goes to or sorry, when he goes to court, the
you go from here.
We're going to take you.
They go to court.
And then the man's like, oh, you've been here all the time.
And you're a fucking asshole every single time. Yeah.
What what are we to do with you, young man?
And then you and then eventually he goes,
I'm going to throw the book at you.
And I think you like burps in court. I don't quite remember.
And then then he goes, I'm a sentencing to fucking 10 years in prison,
which is extreme for stealing one of the items that he ate,
not all the food that he ate.
He forgot to pay for an item.
I don't know if you got that, but yeah, like the scorpion,
scorpion shrimp or whatever.
He forgot to fucking pay for that.
That's what the man says when he comes out.
He forgot to pay for the scorpion shrimp.
And then like all of a sudden, it's a nice in 10 years in prison
for fucking forgetting to pay a bill.
Hang on one second.
I got to mark me fucking judged for every time I've done that.
I was smoking before you were born.
Oh, damn. OK.
Wait for the for the listeners at home, not watching it,
because this isn't the video.
Just sorry, Jesse. You already have three.
You already have three candles on menorah lit by the time.
By the time you started your first joint junior.
When I handed this to Mike, it looked like he grabbed it from the paper
and not the last time.
And I called him out on it.
He said, eat my dick, Andy.
That's the fuck you got.
So I've been smoking since you were a nut staying in your mom's panties.
Junior.
I just saw a trailer for.
Oh, that's why I took off.
I just saw I took it off of the trailer screen because I was watching.
I was getting distracted.
Oh, but I just saw a trailer for the longest yard.
Oh, yeah, and I'm in that movie.
An extra.
With my friend Tomas, and we went, I went to a website called
be in a movie dot com, and then they just like show up here.
And we did. And we're in the audience for the football scene.
A big football. OK.
The entire movie is football. So
sorry, I guess I'm in the I'm in one of the prison scenes.
The one one of ten thousand with an audience,
because the other ones are like inside the fair enough.
The one was like. The big one.
Anyway, big Kahuna, Adam Sandler came in and entertained us
for a few minutes, and he was very gracious, you know, because he just walked over.
He's like, hey, what are the.
Where are you?
What are the.
Specifically, and.
Well, they did. They did a.
Celebrity look like just to keep us entertained, the guy running the running
us was like, hey, let's do anyone look like a celebrity.
Some guys like I look like Adam Sandler,
and he sure shit just looks like a really nailed it, like a weird
version of AI Sandler.
So when Sandler comes over,
he's like, hey, this guy's the guy went set back down.
He's like, this dude looks like you.
It's like, uh, good, I guess.
Or like, like, cool.
Like he. All right.
He like more sympathized with the guy than anything.
It's OK, buddy.
You said you're done after that one.
You took a look alike.
God, now I'm getting distracted.
Looking at that.
We'll come back.
I feel like you get distracted by most things that you look at.
At this point, I just want to put it out of its misery.
I'll let you do it.
I don't feel responsible.
Holy shit.
This is I'm fried. Yeah.
And I'm a fried rice.
And it's a podcast.
I'm in the right place.
This is the right time.
Let's keep going.
He whitey comes out.
Hold, hold on.
Hold on, you honor.
You have a great whitey voice.
It's not bad.
I've been doing it more and more because like I was watching it last night.
Sing along. That's a technical foul.
And I can't do his girlfriend or his sorry.
His sister. Yeah.
Oh, why?
They're all him.
I know, but I can't. She's different.
Yeah, she's can.
It's because you're you're you're afraid of doing a stereotypical.
I can't do say you're afraid of doing a stereotypical
nebushy lady voice.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just I tried. I just couldn't get it.
Oh, oh, whitey.
I see. It's just it doesn't sound as good.
No, keep going. You're doing great.
No, that wasn't it.
No, I don't like this.
You're just setting me up because you have access to cutting this up
into clips and shit and out of context and I.
God, we haven't seen it yet.
Like how you make like how you make kissing noises.
You know what I mean?
What? Yeah.
Oh, you don't listen to your own podcast.
No, he does not.
He never really never mind.
Carry on. Carry on.
What do you mean? I make kissing noises.
You make kissing noises.
Sometimes you like to make you love making kissing noises.
It's going on right now.
No, no, wait, don't gaslight.
OK, you know how once I said something slapstick.
And so ever since then, it's been slapstick.
Yeah, it's noise. Yeah.
That was Andy.
That you just don't get called out.
You're not used to being called out.
What is going on right now?
What I make kissing noises.
I make noises.
I do that.
No, I did it right now.
Specifically on
when when the fuck does this happen?
And back to the movie. Yeah.
Good. You'll see.
But again, back to the movie.
Oh, I don't like this.
Fine. Hold on.
Now I'm going to listen in the tangents of where a bit of Christmas spirit.
Let's just get in the mood.
You need a little more Christmas.
All right. Ain't crazy.
Is that what you mean, you mother fuckers?
Merry Christmas, everyone. All right.
He why he comes.
I hate you guys.
If you're fucking with me.
Now, I'm self conscious of everything I'm doing in front of this mic.
Good God. Now I have a show later, you asshole.
You think I want to go up there if I. Oh, God.
All right. Anyway.
Why? Why he comes up
and saves saves Adams saves Davey
from going to that in? No.
Why are you guys so silent right now?
Well, I'm trying to think of like when it happens, I haven't noticed.
Thank you. Well, Andy, you're kind of like the drive of this podcast.
So we're following your lead conductor.
You got to lead this train there, pal. Huh?
Oh, God. If it's a rail right now, it should be on the track.
And every now and then, if I sit back, it should still keep moving forward.
Am I wrong?
If not, not not a crew with me.
It's not still keep moving forward.
Not if you abruptly hit the brakes because they're wondering about kisses.
Oh, shit. Why would you throw them in there?
Just let the conductor guess me.
We're kissing.
But.
This gentleman, welcome to the worst Christmas special of all time.
Randy. Oh, no.
Good God. All right.
Well, I'm going to reset for a second.
We start the podcast over.
You want kiss free? We don't have we.
Yeah, all right.
All right. I'm ignoring it.
I got to move on.
OK, Davey gets rescued by Whitey.
It's and that's true.
That happens to be a youth.
I'm losing my.
I totally really anyway.
But hockey. What's hockey?
No, it's basketball. Basketball. OK.
Why did you say hockey?
It's the same story.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
That was some high bullshit.
You thought you were dropping a mic.
You just be retarded over there.
It's just it's just like you just sit back and like, hey, Andy,
you dumb fucking idiot.
It's it's it's hockey.
That's the fucking game they play.
Famously, I thought it was I thought I thought it was golf.
It's like, do we want to see that?
So you might have watched Happy Gilmore, Mike.
The one you recommended the other time.
Oh, yeah. Anyway, yeah.
So he gets he has to go be a youth basketball coach.
Flash ref.
Was there not a hockey game right at that point in this movie?
No, they didn't play hockey once.
I played basketball. I mean, they skated on the ice.
There was he got hit by something.
Yeah, there's no there's no saving.
You know, saving the check button.
Fucking bail on that.
You could you say
you're not even holding your mic.
You're not even holding your mic.
Right. You're just sitting there.
They're not capturing anything.
You took three months off that baby kid.
You're out of this world.
You're not out of space. You're star trek.
OK, you might take another nap on your couch.
He's gone.
This time for seven hours.
Three days of my life.
I'm going to have to just shove them into my car.
You're going to have to deal with them for eight crazy nights.
Oh, yeah. The movie we're talking about.
Yes. Yes.
So they're in the middle.
They're done with the last goal in the hockey game.
And then so he coaches he coaches a team.
He's an asshole about it.
It's the opposite. He refs. He doesn't coach.
What he refs. Oh, yeah.
He retches. He refs a game.
There's a fat kid.
There are a lot of fat gaming in that.
Oh, yeah. That's where bra.
It's fucked up. Makes the kid cry.
A whole bunch of things. He's bad.
He's he's evil.
It's bad. It's apparent.
Whitey then starts to slowly chip away at Davies morality,
making him just a little bit more sympathetic.
Just an inch by inch by inch more and more of a human being.
I think they demonstrate that pretty well, because right when you think,
oh, shit, maybe Davey has kind of turned to me
because when he starts to respect whitey's rules because
then Davy goes to a white
way, play shirtless basketball with the boy.
Yeah, I think that's a great which sentence that I
I don't think you should say.
I think you should sit down.
I'm making you sound like you said,
but damn it, I said it.
So anyway, yeah.
So he goes to a whitey, takes him to a gym to play,
to see how real people play basketball, because he's like,
I think you forgot the rules, you know, whatever, because you were. Yeah.
And so he watches he's watching and he makes an idle comment.
I could whoop these dudes asses.
They hear it. They're like, prove it.
And so he notices some boy over there.
The daughter, the son of the girl of the girl of the love interest of the movie,
which was his childhood best friend, which led us onto that room,
I think, endearing story about Titanic that surely makes me the one that got away.
She got away.
I never I never was like, Chase.
I never said she I never said that.
I just said she got away because she physically did.
She got away.
Makes it sound like I didn't say the love of your life that got away.
You did not say that.
You're just to me like she ran.
She ran so far away.
Any other songs you guys want to do?
Mike, come on.
This is your stage. Come on. Give us some.
Any other oldies?
Do you want to you want to just turn lyrics into statements?
At least you recognize it was a song you I want are.
I mean, I'm not going to do this.
This is too much of a tangent.
You guys, there's no control like last last week.
If you listen, Brennan several times stopped you.
No, I just let it go.
I laid back and was like, OK, fucking let's go.
Tangent or not, let's roll.
And so that's one of the most unhinged ones.
Speaking of which, we probably have to wrap this up a little bit earlier
than normal because we have ads that we still need to record ads.
Yeah. For last week that we need to make.
What? Yeah.
We'll fill you in later.
After the thing.
I'll call more and more.
I'll call more pre-production notes.
That would be good to have one post-production pre the show.
We post. Yeah, no, you're right.
But it's for last week.
So it's it's very bad.
If you're listening, if you're listening to this in your view,
if you listen to last, if you listen to this in your future,
just know that our past is probably linear to your current.
Yeah, those ads you listen to last recorded today
with the whole crew.
So anyway, he learns humility by Whitey with some really great songs.
One of the best being that's a tentacle.
Yeah, it's one of the best written songs.
I think that Adam Sandler has written comedy songs.
Yeah, I don't remember the song.
Why? Oh, because I probably skipped it.
See, that was my thing.
I skipped all the musical parts of this movie.
Oh, no, what do you did like?
Yeah, no, no, because I started watching it and I went, nope.
Yeah, yeah, that's but I mean, that makes a lot more sense now
because I also don't like the movie for different reasons.
But if I hadn't had the music, I would have hated this movie.
But what the music was made a good for you.
Brandon and I started a trend last week where I'll just pause this shit
and make you watch this musical.
So we're going to listen to that song.
Andy, I was driving.
I would have been unsafe.
I understand.
But that doesn't preclude us from we're going to do this right now.
So you're going to if you need a call, I delayed my life three more minutes.
Cool. OK.
Hey, except you're watching with friends.
So I don't even know.
So we want to pause the recording.
You're saying not cut, but just pause the recording.
If you want to pause the recording, you can.
Oh, no. Who knows what glory we might miss if we pause this.
Of course. I love.
Oh, my God. Tears already.
Oh, hey, I saw the ending.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
Was there a post credit?
Is there a post credit?
I don't think so. I see.
Post credit of what?
Oh, like seen Jesus.
I don't think that was popular back then, was it?
Yeah, I don't think it is.
I don't know. I'm just curious.
Oh, here's a little wink to the audience.
OK. Post credit.
Well, there is.
Oh, yes, let's soak our feet and play trombone.
This is the shirtless boy.
No, it's coming up because his house needs to burn down.
Who are these nuts?
I'll feel my honey.
Oh, I'll bring my way back.
I know it was you.
Oh, yeah, that's a through line.
Is that 20 through lines of 27 years ago?
When that guy was something happened to the person
as you fucking kick him in the face, that's good writing.
Hold on.
Is the old guy also didn't get this far?
Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Magic check.
You know what?
We're just going to send some animals so baby knows how we do things around here.
I can.
Look, the guy understands just the me and Eleanor
the shit that he is, so she gets nervous about it.
I wouldn't show that picture to anyone.
Aloha, whitey and wife.
And it had him with his arm over an imaginary person.
And you better follow him or you'll find yourself out of it.
Eleanor is a sister?
Yes.
You're coming from the street with 30 shows on your feet.
That's a technical foul.
You switch the radio with some mind-boggling show.
That's a technical foul.
It's a gold shot, the fool.
After losing the victory, that's a technical foul.
A technical foul.
I love the song.
It's a technical foul.
You feel my wrath if your hair comes between all the babies on the plane.
That's a technical foul.
I'll show you no mercy.
This is such bullshit.
In this house we say, Roast spit.
It's a technical foul.
A technical foul.
You expect me to change my entire lifestyle in one night?
Because you guys are a couple of psychotic control freaks.
You guys want oil?
You don't have the gun or a pump for your yakky, do you?
Well, I don't want to do that, but let me run a few questions by you
so I don't screw up accidentally.
If I don't spray a Lysol after moving a vowel?
That's a technical foul.
Okay.
If I decide to wash my ass with your monogrammed towel?
That's a technical foul.
Hey, say hi to me.
If I make fun of your crazy feasts,
cooking sugar cookies to misdiagnose?
That's not only a technical foul,
but possibly a homicide.
I love that line so much.
It's one of my favorites.
If you do, you'll get a G.
Take a whiz in those flowers.
I'll say, get this out.
Use it as foreign as a bomb.
I use probably John.
Make some long distance calls.
No, that'll cut you the fall.
I walk around with my morning erection.
You want an automatic injection.
I wish I could get some more power.
But I'd like to feel anyway.
Not killing.
I said, do you love what you're playing,
what it's like when you see stars burn
for imaginary ways?
What is this called when three people sing like this?
When it's murky as a flower.
A cacophony.
What?
A tragedy.
I'm sorry. Not like this.
Like we have three people singing at the same time in a song like a melody.
But they all have different things that they're singing.
Oh, like a shanty kind of like row like row, row, row your boat.
Yeah. No, like exactly what the fuck we were listening to.
Yeah, but I'm saying I'm saying he was singing something.
You're singing something.
No, row your boat is a row.
We sing it in a row. We all sing the same lyrics.
We're all doing row, row, row your boat.
Yeah, but then I start.
Well, you have to. Jesse, you can't.
I'm not that high anymore.
You can't. You're not.
You're not a fucking wizard anymore.
You can't control my most.
You get gaslighted into thinking I make kissing noises.
Oh, no.
No. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.
I'm talking merrily, merrily, merrily.
No, no. Then when I go merrily, merrily, you start row, row, row your boat.
I can't do that. Yeah. And then when he starts merrily,
you start row, row, row your boat.
And then when he starts merrily, you start row, row, row, row, row, row, row, row,
row your boat. Yeah.
And then I start singing a nine inch nail song.
He starts, you know, I know.
Now we see carpenters.
I believe they'll just say, you don't know.
Wait, I know. I know.
Chaos. Yeah. You was chaos.
It's done. It's done. I said cacophony, but you see a lot of the company.
No, that's just means I think loud noise.
That was pretty loud. Looking it up.
I don't even know how to look it up.
I've done it. It's but not the same.
It's in the it's like in theater a lot, like in plays.
And how would you describe Andy's Googling to the average audio
listener of this podcast? Different song.
Painstaking. Would you describe it as painstaking?
Different songs.
Same. It's the same song.
Different lyrics.
OK. WTW.
What does WTW say?
It says right there, quite a bit.
A quad of a quad of it is a musical composition that.
What the what if or when a musical group sings different lyrics at the same time?
Oh, what's the word WTW?
OK, got it. There we go.
An ensemble. OK, we don't want that.
A tootie. All the voices are performed together.
Tootie. But I don't know.
Tootie. No, no, tootie.
Is it a tootie? Get it.
Oh, like a like a fart.
You, dude. Oh, OK.
Oh, the other like row your boats, singing around, singing in rounds.
That's what a round is.
Yeah. OK, that's they even call you out.
I don't even get into it. A row.
No, it's not a row around the fuck yourselves.
Moat hat. Oh, what's a water?
A different water.
Let's let's see what a quad of it is.
Oh, quad libette.
A quad libette is a musical composition that requires several different melodies
in a popular tunes and account. No, that's not it.
That's a parody.
Harmonizing a fugue.
Well, that's I'm in a fugue state right now.
I got to say a cappella.
No, it's not a cappella. It's a counterpoint.
That use counterpoint.
All right. Here's an article. Let's watch this.
Oh, need a YouTube video.
This might be too much.
Audio from a video on an audio media.
And it's too much.
That are fine.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Call that a tangent. It's over.
This is too much.
You finally called.
I've been called out by bread.
I'm so low.
He had my back.
I can't take it anymore.
That's everybody's got to put their mics up by their mouths.
It was too far.
Brandon finally calls out the danger.
So anyway, so back to the movie.
There's a moment where they all go to the ice rink,
which might be why Mike thinks that there's a full blown hockey game in this thing.
So hey, I think we should watch the movie up to that point to see if there is one.
Preferably on mute. Huh?
What do you think of that song?
Great song. Did you really like it?
Yeah, it's a yeah, it's a fun Adam Sandler song.
It is a fun, I think one of his best.
If you're just including Adam Sandler songs, think one of his best.
No, the hot song at the end of this is the best.
I said one of I think the best scene is when they're at the awards ceremony
and they're all like losing their shit for the mayor, like smacking their heads on the table.
Yes, that's a very dancing.
Funny. Yeah.
So part of that whole redemption.
At some point, Adam Sandler looks like he's about or Davey looks like he's about to be a good guy.
He's turning around to to the, you know, whitey and his rules.
But then he's reminded of his parents tragically dying on like the night of the big game,
which explains why he's such a dick, which explains why such a dick we find out.
And I think, you know, what is your sympathy?
I get it. Yeah.
Twelve year old boy. Your parents die.
You have nothing. You go foster, foster, foster.
You lose the girl. You lose your family.
You don't want to you don't get to watch Titanic with her soul thing.
It all sucks. If he he saw the titties and it meant nothing.
Yeah, because the first time I did see those Kate Winslet's breasts, I'm so sorry.
She's an actress and I don't want to keep referring to them as titties and for her.
She's right because she she's never probably referred to her own titties as titties.
Sorry, breasts as titties. Yes. Yes, her breasts.
All right. I don't know.
Ethel did on here.
Never know what your name is. Ethel.
What's the old lady's name?
Eleanor. Eleanor.
Eleanor did.
Oh, yeah. If Eleanor can refer to her titties as titties, then Kate Winslet
can refer to her own titties as titties.
What was there always just a titty moment in this?
I guess so. Real quick, let's move on.
Because he I say it's a titty moment.
Anytime he talks there, he's an asshole.
He what happens after that?
I'm fucking stoned. He then he he redeems himself.
Yes, the girl. Anyway, here's some tears.
The girl gets the girl.
We don't have to explain the whole movie is my point.
He I don't know.
He fucking redeems himself.
He teaches the kid basketball.
Shirtless. Yes. Oh, no. Why do you want to win the 35th annual patch?
It makes him the most. What's what's what's funny?
Does he not win it every year? Like he seems like there's 35.
There's 34 winners. Yeah.
And here's the thing. It's it's the youth basketball
citizens. I think is what they say.
And he's the only one that has repped for the 35 years.
That's what makes it so funny. Yeah.
The guy here, they select someone else.
Right. Donates a score donated a scoreboard this year.
So he gets to win the patch.
I think I think they said it was the basketball league.
So why do you really want it?
It's hard for him to be a shoe in, you know.
Oh, man. The foot reference is that because of his feet?
Yeah. OK. No, that's good.
I just I just at this point,
I've just forgotten his favorite movie at this point.
We'll get into how I feel about it.
And yeah, it is one of my favorites.
No, but anyway, yeah.
So they he doesn't he doesn't win.
He goes he goes to the he goes to the thing and he doesn't win.
And it's heartbreaking.
It is absolutely the worst because he's in the back.
He thinks he's going to win. He's wearing his best suit.
And then nothing doesn't win.
And then so the mayor is a fucking dick.
In other words, you lied to him.
Well, the mayor never the mayor said to me, he said,
so who do you think's going to win?
And the mayor's like, anyone.
It could be me. It could be you. It could be anyone.
So you're saying it's me.
That's what happens. Walked away.
And he took that as gospel of it's going to be him.
It's fucked up. Yeah.
And when he lost, he just walked outside, went to the mall, his favorite place.
Stole some peanut butter and redemption, redemption, redemption.
No, no, then it gets real sad.
Then he goes into the mall and he's like, I need a moment alone, Eleanor.
I just need to go and have a moment in my favorite place.
Go ahead and play a trombone alone, Eleanor.
Go play. Just go sit down.
You're a sharp image.
They got nice pictures of the the amount of product placement
in this fucking movie, by the way.
Oh, my God. Like legit.
A full Panda Express logo.
I saw a read in white.
He's and why don't it go to Spencer's?
I'm going to read in white.
In whitey sad voice, all the businesses I think don't exist anymore
that they highlighted.
Yeah, you could go to you could go to the tie rack.
You could go to Radio Shack.
You want a sharper image?
Is that still around? Sharp?
I'm sure it might be somewhere.
The body somewhere in the Midwest.
Feel what's a pet lane?
Miss the main one, the KB toys.
Oh, I did. We did see that after KB.
Let's we forget the KB.
And then Adam Sandler bus.
He's on the run from the cops and he busts into the big meeting
that they're celebrating.
And he in a very cool song.
I think one of the better songs have you do remember that one? Yeah.
That's so that's really good.
You're so good. You're smart.
Smart guy. That was the way he snapped up.
He doesn't know the fuck.
But anyway, Bob did he did he?
Bob, it's a good song.
The music's all great.
That's what I said when you skipped music.
I wish I could.
But not only I skipped the music, I only watched
like probably like how long it takes to watch a movie from my house to hear.
She got 30 minutes roughly about.
I should have been concerned when earlier he texted me.
The movie's eight crazy nights, right?
And I was like, yeah.
And then like an hour and a half later, he's here.
But that oh, I think the best part was so he lives in California.
This show is in Arizona.
And he travels all the way from California people to be here.
So, you know, Whitey, what you.
You know, Jesse, sorry.
And back to the guys, it sounds like you're talking about the movies.
So you know, really hard to keep you on track.
Yes, he comes all the way from California.
You've got to hurry.
So earlier today, earlier, when he's like, I'm going to be 20 minutes late.
We were an hour ahead of them.
So earlier, 20, he's like, I'll be there 20 minutes late.
40 minutes in.
We're like, what is he?
I call him. I'm like, hey, when you said you're going to be 20 minutes late,
did you mean Arizona time or California time?
He's like, oh, fuck, I'm on the way.
So that was pretty good.
That's funny. See, it loses its zing when I'm just fucking stoned.
The other. So Adam Sandler Bussin reminds everybody that they're fucking assholes
to Whitey, that he does everything for me, bends over backwards
for this community and always has.
And they've all been assholes to him and dicks.
And then it cuts back to the moment.
I poor little whitey's like, I'm so sad, I probably going to move away
or kill myself for being honest.
And then you see the the footlocker mascot
cry a little bit, which is the express panic cry.
And then.
And then it's like, no, the mayor, the mayor walks out.
He's like, no, Whitey, you you are the the guy.
You are the guy with you are the 35th guy.
Enjoy the path.
What is it? What?
And then everybody, they light up the whole ball.
Everybody strategically in the dark.
Very hard to do.
Gets very delicately placed all around.
And they start throwing their patches down, making him, therefore,
the winner of all of the patches retroactively.
Sort of just negating the special.
I like how you said strategically very hard to do like they actually filmed it.
Well, you got no suspense of disbelief, Mike.
You live in a world of just blacks and whites.
You know, you have no gray imagination.
You can't you can't live in the now and just assume that a whole town
quietly going into a mall and surrounding the place circularly
in a way that they could throw down their patches.
Yeah, yeah. The whole town collectively went, you know what?
Let's make the man with the small foot contemplate suicide just long enough.
Just long enough that we can trick him into giving us
they're giving him our just just freaking out about the mascots crying.
I'm starting to freak out that you have confused a cartoon with reality, though.
Well, if you look at the AI art for this episode, I kind of have.
It's a weird one. I already made it.
Did you see it? No, I'll show you right now.
It's a good medium of getting audio podcast to show you.
Hey, maybe they're maybe the people listening to this are mediums
and they can predict it like a psychic. Wow.
It's pretty good. Huh?
Huh? It's a great. Sorry, Adam.
So anyway, they give him his 35th patch.
Then Adam Sandler does Hanukkah song part three in the Hanukkah song is always great.
And he does a great job. Watch this movie. It's on to be.
Let's do some trivia.
I'll do the first one. Director Seth Kersley said
all the product placements were used without permission from their respective companies.
Wow. I thought that probably funded the movie.
No, they said, oh, fuck you.
We're just going to do whatever we want.
Well, that's what made me wonder if this was an independent like release,
much like the rest of his movies that like he has on Netflix.
Like he just makes them outright.
But this was like a Sony picture, wasn't it?
Apparently. Wow. But it's like Sultivis.
Columbia. It's all just sandler.
Well, yeah. But I'm saying it's like it was made through a production company
that would probably have to worry about copyright litigation.
Is this a happy Madison movie?
No, I don't think so. No, it's a Sony production.
It's like so it's crazy that they got all that cleared, I guess.
Yeah, because it's it's
yeah, I don't know who made it, but this next one's interesting.
It says you read it read it, Jesse. You got a nice voice.
Many animation fans have noted the design style of the characters
in eight crazy nights is similar to the design style of the characters
in the Iron Giant. I did notice that the majority of the animators
that worked on this film were laid off from Warner Brothers feature animation,
which produced the Iron Giant and Fox Animation Studios.
Seventy nine people found that helpful.
I found that helpful. You point it out.
Yeah, that's one helpful for your help.
That's I made it an even 80.
Did you find that helpful, though? The thing you just read.
I didn't personally. So that's why it's 80.
No, it's not 80. No, it's 79.
But you found it helpful that I said that what you did by pointing out.
Yeah, but by proxy, I added a helpful to that.
That's not how it works.
You're so underneath that helpful is another thumbs up that says helpful.
And that's one.
And if in my mind, Davie is based on Adam Sandler when he was 19.
Oh, wow. He's way older than that.
Oh, wow. So he was a piece of shit when he was 19.
They're just talking about the animation.
Yeah. Davies parents are voiced by his parents. Yes.
They sing only film.
They sing that song.
No, Davies parents.
They're like talking. Oh, damn.
Yeah, he died in 2003, a year later.
Yeah. His dad. Yeah.
So this is this is his production company, obviously.
Though he's hired all his family. It's all it's all.
Well, they're all his people. Yeah. People. So.
OK, so the deer eating feces scene.
They wanted to. He's looking to ice.
But it tested well with audience and they didn't cut it.
The amount of yeah, the amount of poop, at least in the first 30 minutes
that I watched. It's a pretty.
That's a lot.
He also noted that test audience hated the voice of lighting,
but they did not wish for the voice to change.
And I agree. Yeah, I agree.
I actually like his voice. I did, too.
At the rating, the the plot setting, at least in what I watched,
it was like that. That was kind of annoying to me.
Oh, hey, I am. I am the person that's doing this.
You would know that from the fact that I do this.
You know, like, it's very like, hey, I'm the phone guy
because I wear this phone shirt. You know, it's yeah.
It has like it's like very obvious.
Everything is very. But I did.
Well, I thought that was funny.
I don't know. But it's humor.
It is everybody in the town.
When you're watching, it looks like they're stereotypical. Right.
Right. No, I get that.
No. What were you saying?
But the dialogue, the dialogue I thought was funny and how it was acted.
Everything's blatant is what he said.
It's just all blatant, like, like, like a policeman would always have on.
If he was off, he would still have on a shirt.
There's like the police. It's just the way Adam Sandler movies are. Sure.
OK. Everything's obvious and stated. It's over the top.
Yeah. So it had a budget of thirty four and it made twenty three.
Well, math, that's not good.
It's not good.
Narrated by Rob, distributed by Sony Pictures. Yeah.
So and Columbia Pictures,
which means that if you didn't get permission for any of that,
I wonder how much money they had to eat
for product placement and all that shit.
Just paying off. Right. Yeah.
I did like the animation a lot.
That's what made it thirty four million.
It would have been ten million otherwise.
Tyra Banks was Victoria's a lot of orange chicken kid.
What Tyra Banks was Victoria's secrets gown.
Blake Clark was Radio Shack.
I don't know who that is.
Peter Dante was. Oh, yeah.
It's Dante. Yeah.
Ellen Rose, like Dante in like three different movies.
OK, OK, this is a real tangent.
What were your thoughts about the movie?
Yeah. Barley did The Voice of the Panda Express.
That's interesting, which is pretty ironic.
Oh, and the Sprouse brothers, Dylan and Cole
were the KB soldiers.
Yeah, that's interesting.
That's if some if there's younger fans out there.
Yeah, let's see. How do we like the movie?
I love this movie.
I I've watched it every year
at least once around Christmas time, but then also I get
reminiscent of it and I sometimes watch it in the summer
because I want to feel like it's, you know, a snowy Christmas.
Whatever. I like the animation.
I like the songs. I like Adam Sandler.
I give it a B.
A solid one.
And that's because I can't separate my nostalgia from quality
or whatever. However, you guys, there is a scene where deer eat feces.
Maybe that should knock a whole letter down.
I don't think so.
Not only eat feces, but like have like shit teeth.
Yeah. And I mean, it is gross.
And then do a pyramid later.
Dario almost wanted to puke last night watching it.
Fuck it. I loved it.
OK. Well, we definitely differ on this B plus.
But I think it's because of if I had been 12 or 13
when this movie came out, I would love this movie, too.
But I was 35 or 40.
Oh, seriously, you're saying Andy is still 12 or 13.
But now I just say yes, nostalgia for it.
It's it's it is I can see where the nostalgic feel comes from.
If you were the right age when this movie came out.
But seeing this movie today,
you should have had a more powerful by then.
It's objectively a horrible movie.
There's nothing. Whoa.
There's good music.
It's got a perfect redemption arc.
It really is. It's asshole to to to not quite an asshole.
And that's a redemption.
Yes, it does. It's got a cute little story about it.
It could have been told in about 10 minutes.
And a good Saturday night.
It's not stretching it too long for a movie.
It out of Saturday and a live skit at that point.
But that's not the point.
The point is about have been 12 or 13.
I thought it was great.
Now it's a D minus.
But that's just the reality of the movie.
That's the reality of the movie.
That's fucked up, but I do agree.
Had I seen it at 12 or 13, I think it was great.
You watched it now, motherfuckers. Good.
Remember that? Remember the ending where he saves.
Why do you know there are good parts?
It's not a W.
It's a crying mother fucker.
Tear jerky.
You find out his parents die.
You're going to be objectively not.
How can you say a movie that can elicit tears at least two or three times?
Do you know how many movies have parents die, dude?
It's all the time.
Every not told this way.
This is a sad way for it to be told, bro, because it's just not.
No, it really is.
I know you were.
I've seen you were 12.
I've seen it's miracle on the 34th Street meets fucking Batman.
It's the same thing.
Same thing. You know, I've seen Batman's parents die
so many times in movies.
It means nothing to me.
You might. You might as well be the Joker.
Every time I watch eight crazy nights, when it shows me his parents dying
as a kid, I lose it.
Maybe his parents remind you of your parents.
I don't know. It's nostalgia.
They should remind everybody of everyone's parents.
That's the point. If it was a perfect movie, they would.
Oh, but they don't. I.
Don't remind me of my parents.
Don't be the new Bob.
I'm about to lay down punishment for taking such a movie I love so much
and being a fucking dick about it.
But why don't we go to the next one?
Fine. D minus from what else?
Fucking fine. Mine's a B plus.
There's a D minus.
So I'm I'm kind of in between both of you guys.
B plus is his height.
Yeah. So I was.
It's the best movie you ever saw.
I said what I fucking said.
But so I want to.
He's watched Future Sport.
What do you mean? Yeah. Yeah.
No, when it when it first came out, like I was young enough to like it
and I was Adam Sandler fan.
So, I mean, I liked it as a kid, but it's definitely a movie
that I can probably only watch every once in a while.
Once in a blue moon.
You know, if I'm in the mood for that kind of Adam Sandler like nostalgic.
Yes. Yes. I'm looking for that.
So I would give it a C plus.
That's that's my rating.
Yeah, it tick. It tickles.
It tickles no nostalgia for me because I haven't seen it until today.
You have watched it on the way here.
Right. Then and even.
Yeah. The one to hear what your rating is in this beloved big
Hanukkah classic, the big fat goose egg F.
How? I'm just kidding.
That is why I say his name.
Oh, what's the average?
We did. Is it a D plus?
Yeah, no, it's I mean, it's it's fun.
Feel good. It's it's what you expect from Adam Sandler.
It's it's a good time, at least from what I saw.
I imagine I saw the entire movie.
Essentially, watching 30 minutes of it, you know,
that's it says not much is going to happen.
Not, you know. Yeah.
So, you know, yeah. See, fuck it. Yeah.
Last thing we do.
We're just we're debating whether to smoke.
Are you thinking about like that? You're still high.
So it's if you're able to end this, I'm not sure.
What's the rating? Oh, see. Yeah. See, I gave it a C.
Yeah, I liked your assessment.
It's a good Adam Sandler. OK.
So see a C minus C plus.
Oh, good. C, C plus B plus D minus average that to be
which is our highest rating. OK.
That's how averages work.
I think it'd be closer to like a C or C plus. Yeah. Yeah.
I think. Yeah.
Things I think is C is a fair grade for.
Fine. So it's a C plus.
Well, that was a resounding and excited.
Are we doing C plus grading?
Is that what we said? See? Yeah. Sure. C plus. Sure. Cool.
So there you have it, folks.
C plus C plus. All right.
Cool. I like rent fried rice, fried rice certified
fried rice approved.
No, it's still approved.
Even me, who does not like the movie, can see the goodness in this movie
and would watch it again in five or 10 years if it came on.
I wouldn't actively turn up.
Oh, this is horrible. Turn it off. But.
I don't really need to see reindeer poop that often.
No. What's that?
However, right here.
However, I would like some.
I would like some reindeer to be able to push my car every once in a while.
That would be needed. Yeah.
It's human shit. Right.
Yeah. Much better. Yeah.
Much. You just made it better.
Reindeer's could have pooped in there.
That was that was much explaining that made it better, Andy.
That was it on.
We have a new segment before we get into our recommendations.
We only have about 20 minutes left.
So let's do this.
Mike came up with a fun idea.
And we're calling it what are you dot dot dot question mark.
And it's what are you doing?
What are you listening to? What are you watching?
What are you eating?
What's a good recipe?
What's a good music thing?
You listen to what's a good TV show?
You're binge watching this week.
What have you read? What have you comic books?
What do you got?
Palette cleansers, something like what do you got?
Yes, this this will not be tangent heavy, I'm sure.
No, we're going to make it quick.
No, it's going to be fairly quick.
This like me, I'm watching because you don't want to spoil too much in this.
Because these are recommended.
All right. Yeah.
These are things you like.
So you don't want to go too crazy deep into them.
But I'm watching the live action squid game, not the show.
I watched the show when it came out.
The actual squid game.
The actual squid games and games and not the ones
that Mr. Beast is doing.
No, they're actually net.
Yes, produced by Squid Game.
Real money producers or whatever real game set up real and is no death.
No actual bullshit.
But a little hypothermia, maybe or something I'm hearing.
But some complaining going on.
But as far as the show goes, it's really well done.
Very actually really true to the original squid game show,
which usually you don't see if they're doing an adaptation.
Do you see the people in the masks and stuff like that?
Like up top? Yeah, it's all there.
Everything is there.
It's really well done.
Yeah. And actually change just enough to keep it interesting.
Because if you know too much, you know, everything's going to happen. Right.
But they change it up just enough.
I just wish Netflix had the balls to kill the people that sign.
That's what I'm saying. No death at all.
And it's but it's as close to that as it could be without being
a little blood packs on their chest.
Yeah, there's literally blood.
Yeah. Yeah. Can't they can't they let them have a mayhem
where they murder each other amongst like bunk beds?
You know what I mean? We don't have purges yet.
But oh, no, you talk about the one thing.
But they three. Yeah.
You know, anyone you fucking want to be fucking.
Hey, everyone, guess what?
Welcome to Netflix Night three of a squid.
Is that dorm room? It's an exact duplicate.
It's yeah. Everything. That's wild.
Hopefully watch the fucking show before you go on there.
I will say this.
I'm sure they have more than the games that are on there.
You could watch this without having watched the show.
It would still work.
I started watching. Well, watch the real show first.
Oh, the real show is really good.
You get a lot more out of it.
But I started the show with dubs, no subtitles.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Well, I don't know. Whatever you want to do.
No. Fuck you. You did.
I was kidding. I don't care.
I like it. I like I don't know.
I did the dubs. I sometimes enjoy.
No, no, because everybody gives me shit because I'm like, yeah,
I watch it. Dubs are fucking more like you.
No, no, I any anime.
I'm watching dubs because I don't want to miss the beautiful art and all.
Yeah. But in the game show, it does.
But what's weird is that sometimes the dub kind of syncs with the lips.
So that tells me that they were speaking English the entire time.
It's not that well. You know what I mean?
They sometimes sometimes it matches sometimes you just couldn't understand.
And they have to say English words that don't exist in Japanese, I guess.
But they have to say like
our German words or whatever words, lots of words.
Yeah, exactly. Like Shiza.
So, OK, cool.
Squid game, the real game.
But I was to this. I tried watching it.
And it looked like there was like 15 minutes of interviewing people
like get to know their story stuff before it got into any squid gaming.
Do they all have a crippling gambling addictions or anything like that?
Basic stuff like I'm a chef from Georgia
and I'm just and I'm just here to win some money.
They do introduce you to people, but as it goes on, there's fewer people.
It's like the show as it goes forward, there's fewer people.
So there's less of that.
You get to know them and see them interact instead of the little.
I hope just some some fucking just do that.
So it's Korean fear factor.
It's like like he's just like, no, fucking I can't make me do all this shit.
It's like what? It's Korean fear factor.
That's what's going on here.
It's all good. Yeah, it's all good.
Well, did you see squid game? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Then, yes.
Great. Love it. Good recommendation.
Brendan, do you have anything?
So with my four year old, I've kind of been working on showing him
older like superhero movies like he watched all of the original Superman.
Like so now we're working on Batman. All four.
Yeah. Well, the first two, he started the three. OK.
Yeah. But he back like George Reeves and he's watching the third one.
Going like they're Christopher Reeves.
He's like, those are the ones I'm watching.
George is the first way back.
Not that far. Is he critiquing? Is he like super critiquing?
It's just like kind of really like the first one.
I think. Yeah. Did he just go back in time and give her like a
memory wiping kiss?
What's going on?
For Superman, his comments are showing me that his comments are more like he's flying.
Oh, yeah. You know, because he's it's when he's it's more like he's
like in the middle of the comments and he makes whenever he's hit one of those.
Oh, yes. Yes.
I mean, fuck. Yes.
Or the kissy sounds or the kissy sounds.
Kissy sounds. Let's be forget.
No, I'm not. I'm not even going to.
I forgot all about those.
Yeah. Don't. Why would you even bring them up?
You did.
Not me. We have to keep moving on.
Great. So you're recommending.
Well, but now we're watching the Batman 66, but the animated ones.
There's there's only two movies that I've seen on on HBO.
They do. I think they're from like 2011 or 2016.
66, though. Yeah. So it's it's Adam West and Burt Ward.
I've not seen those yet.
There. Yeah. There's only two movies, I think, that I've seen.
But he loves them and they're they're fun.
They're I mean, if you like Batman, 66 style or it's just kind of,
you know, campy. Yeah, it's it's fun.
I enjoy it.
They've continued Batman 66 in comic book form.
It's going strong. There's it's it's called Batman 66.
And it's like it took place in 1966.
Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly.
And it but it's original.
I can be accurate.
It's the Adam West Burt Ward duo with all their villains.
But it's it's in comic book form.
And so they've been able to just really expand on that universe.
And then they just did that with classic Superman.
Classy 70, 78, 77, whenever the first one came out, 79.
I think it was 70.
Batman 66 is so weird because like I was born in 1966. OK.
So you think about that.
Batman 66 was my parents age.
People when it was all into it. Yeah.
You know, watch Batman.
But he didn't. That's what I'm saying.
No, that those people did the reruns when you were going.
He runs everybody thinks of Batman.
66 is my age and younger reruns.
It was on so much.
Oh, but your parents age would have been fucking into Batman 66.
Not your parents, but their age range.
That it came out. Flower children.
That's what I'm saying.
When you think about the timing of that show and what that society was,
it was not that it was actually older people than even my parents.
It was like that.
We're watching it.
They were watching when it came on.
So I have really no even connection with that generation that watched that.
Originally, we all that's a weird show because it's so many people that love it.
Saw it in reruns, not originals.
No one saw that original. Yeah.
That we ever talk to.
But it had to be popular enough to run in litigation for it.
Yeah, it was. Yeah.
So many generations to it.
It became popular and since the only Batman anyone had from 60s
until like, I guess, Superfund.
Think about how old those 70s would be from that were watching them.
And there were 18 or 19 or 20 and 66 were not my parents.
That was their parents.
It was really the only Batman they deserved probably during that time.
Better Batman, because that's a weird Batman.
Listen, I get it. There's nostalgia.
Yeah, it's a straight.
Yeah, that's the Batman they need.
One of the weirdest interpretations you possibly take with Batman,
which is fucking shark repellent.
And he's got a great.
It's great.
All the different bat gadgets to do all the things he needs to think about
for the time, how weird that actually was.
They did a song.
They did. He did.
Everyone do the Batman.
No, no, no, no, no.
The Batman do or whatever.
It was real bad.
The Batman do. Yeah.
Is that what he said? Yeah.
I think I think it's I think about it.
You know, I don't think it's the Batman do, but like,
let's see if it's Batman.
Sixty six.
I'll tell you what I really want to do.
I'm going to really be if I ever get out of here,
that's what I'm going to do.
Take me to Batman do.
Oh, it's got to be the.
It's got to be. What is it?
What's the oh, the bat to see?
Oh, yes.
It's time to do the boozy.
No, the bat to see the bat to see.
This is what you guys really watched.
No, but these were 40 year olds in 1966.
These were all people born in the 20s.
This is the show.
Yeah. You might you might be able to tell this is by the audio.
This video that's playing right now.
This copyright video, which I should be.
Yes. Yes.
Because of the copyright is why the video should not be viewed right now.
OK. Well, anyway, yeah, we get it.
We get it. He dances.
Yeah.
Fuck, man. All right.
That last roll of the.
You know, we I know, Brandon, we'll keep on.
Let's wrap this up. All right.
So, Jess, cool, cool, cool.
Jesse, do you have anything that you're watching or doing?
I'm playing Super Mario RPG remake right now.
How is it? It's it's delightful. It's
everything that you could hope for in a remake is happening in this game.
It's not it's on Nintendo Switch.
Originally came out in 96 on the Super Nintendo.
It was made by Square Soft, now Square Enix.
Yeah, it's it's fucking just the port over is awesome.
They implemented some new mechanics, some new battle play.
Yeah, yeah.
Makes it more fun with the I guess the switch controls.
Well, kind of like that way, like it's more like technical.
Like you could do like your time to tax and then you have like really well done
time attacks. Got you.
Do you splash damage other people you're fighting?
But you're you have a switch.
What other platforms do you have?
Switch PS4.
What do you end up playing?
I'm just curious. The switch.
I only I bought the switch for Super Mario RPG. OK.
So I guess I did.
And Smash Brothers now, probably right.
And the Zelda games.
You know, I want yeah, I bought about tears of kingdom just because.
But it was mainly for that.
I bought the one that I already played that.
So I got Breath of the Wild.
I beat it. I sold my switch.
Then Mario RPG came out.
I didn't think I was going to buy a switch again.
The Super Mario RPG comes out.
Happens to all of us.
And then so I rebought it.
And then the same reason I bought a PS4 is because I was excited about Shenmue
with three coming out and then it never did until it did.
And then it was kind of the fizzle was fizzed.
So any who's OK.
Well, Super Mario RPG, that is a game that I would like to play in the future.
Yeah, Mario. Yeah, it's Super Rules.
If you're into that, I mean, it's a linear storyline, all that.
But, you know, it's a good time for anyone paying attention
to the beginning of the podcast. Chernobyl.
Chernobyl. Chernobyl.
I know we didn't have to remind you. That's exciting.
Yeah, no, I wrote it down.
I like how you you're like, remind me as you wrote it down.
I know, but I needed someone really just to remind me to look at my notebook.
And no one needed to. So that's I've been what did I just.
You didn't get very high, did you?
Fried rice podcast, my ass.
I can't get any more high from now, like right now.
Oh, can't you?
You remembered your notebook.
Right. Well, fuck, dude, I got to do my thing.
Chernobyl. I read.
Well, OK, right.
I finished a book, John, by John Scalzi called Starter Villain
that just came out and it was it was it was good.
It was he's he's a funny author.
It's about a 40 year old who inherits a super villain.
Company along with volcanic layer
so it's a company that has superheroes work.
Well, the supervillain his.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So he takes over.
He takes over. It's a lot of twists and turns.
I liked it. It's short, but I mean, it's good.
But now I'm back on Stephen King because I'm trying to get through
all the Stephen King books and listening to Tommy Knockers right now.
And I am a good chunk through maybe like
30, 40 percent.
And it's interesting Chernobyl.
So the main one of the main characters, maybe the main main character,
I don't know who's going to follow more, but he loses his fucking shit
every time someone brings up nukes because this is like the 80s.
And so it's like a hot topic.
And he shot his wife in the fucking face
when he was drunk once for bringing up nukes for talk, I guess.
I haven't gotten to the full explanation of what the argument was about,
but he got angry enough that he just shot his wife in the face.
He just shot his wife in the head and it happened.
Now I found out it was through the cheeks.
So she lived. But it is it was I mean, yeah.
And the consequences?
I get I don't know exactly. Yeah. Wow.
But he is marked as a but he's a poet.
And so he I don't know.
He's a poet that shoots his wife in the face.
Crazy how insane that that's not even what the books about.
The books about it, about a flying saucer that someone uncovers.
Yeah. So far, pretty good.
I always read Stephen King.
We'll wrap this up as I see. I see.
It's got to go.
It's OK. Then I get it again.
Let's do our movie recommendations and we'll bounce. So
what do you guys got?
I could start. Who's ready?
Well, the time of the year, I'm just going to go with it.
I've been saying I was never going to do this one, but I'm going to do it.
Die hard.
OK, that's all to be.
Everybody knows why that's Christmas movie.
It's like, you know, it's I know it's the week in between now.
Yeah, this is our end of the year pick for our grand
and it's kind of a year.
Season one finale seems like a good one to finish up on.
Die hard is like every, you know, it's.
Yeah, I mean, I'm going with the I'm going with a grander scale movie as well.
So Die Hard is your choice. Perfect.
Brendan. OK, so I'm going with the two choices.
I wonder which one you're going to go with.
Yeah, I'm curious.
All right.
So mine's a little outlandish and I've never seen it before.
It's called Pool Boy Drowning Out the Fury.
It's a parody of a bad 90s movie, finds a Vietnam veteran
dealing with a traumatic past while working as a pool boy in Van Nuys, California,
starring Kevin Sorbo, which was Hercules and Danny Trejo.
I like Danny Trejo, so that works out.
That's horrible. It's horrible.
So I write up our alley.
I watched season finale.
I watched the brand.
I watched the first five minutes of it last night and read a couple reviews on IMDb.
And it is pretty outlandish and kind of just wild and crazy.
People either love it or hate it.
It's kind of just it seems more like almost like an actor art piece than anything.
It is a mayhem or whatever. It's like, yeah, yes.
All right. My.
It's almost well.
Holy shit, I haven't seen it.
So movie.
It looked on brand for a parody of bad movies.
Horrible. But again, if Fried Rice has done anything in our in our in our state,
our twenty seven, twenty eight episodes or whatever.
And the year with a bad.
Twenty five year with a fucking terrible movie.
I'm almost leaning towards it.
All right, Jesse, what do you got?
I'll come back to you.
Oh, you know, I've been really I've been greatly considering this movie for a long time.
Fine. Throw it out there.
It is the movie.
The lottery ticket.
Yeah. You want to give us any, any.
Oh, you know, that's the great, great American story.
When a young man.
Suddenly wins three hundred and seventy million dollars, he must protect the prize
against or take it during a chaotic holiday weekend where everyone wants his cash.
Who stars? Who's who's starring?
I mean, I mean, who? How could you forget?
It stars Bow Wow, Little Bow Wow, Brandon T.
Jackson, Nattari, Norton and Keith and Terry Crews and Ice Cube and Ice Cube is in it.
So, you know, well, Terry Crews and Ice Cube, that's a good cast.
All right.
Mike Epps and Bill Bellamy. That's a good.
What more could you not want?
Yeah.
Could you?
Any movie?
I'm glad you put so much thought into that.
Again, you said that you've been waiting for that for a while.
I understand that's a great choice.
Whatever the fuck you just said.
Lottery ticket. Lottery ticket.
Mine is going to be the Boondock Saints, which is on Tubi.
Oh, good God.
So my. So I was I had the same idea that Mike had where if you're going to end the year
with a bang, do it with something that's big.
So I had to do it.
Big. So we have three choice.
Sorry. Four choices.
Yes. We have we have Boondocks Saints.
Die Hard. Pool Boy and lottery ticket.
Jesse, how would you like to vote first?
I don't know.
Lottery ticket. You're going to OK.
You're going to vote for. I really want to watch lottery ticket.
OK.
Is everyone going to vote for their own?
Because we this is the first.
Those two are tough, man.
I mean, I have to.
This is this. I guess you and I have to.
I guess this is what we have to do.
As I say, pull up trailers.
No random number generator.
Oh, OK. You're going back to the dice.
I had to die. Oh, shit.
We said we would never go back to the dice ever.
You're not. You're going to a number generator.
Oh, no. It's true.
Wonderful. Wonderful.
So who's now?
Oh, guys, we said we never go back.
We're going by we're going by the first appearance would be one, two, three.
So Die Hard is one.
Yeah. Boy is two. OK. OK.
I'm one. All right.
Lottery ticket is three.
Boondock Saints is four.
OK.
Ladies and gentlemen, we said we'd never go back to the dice,
but all these movies are available to be the coin has a say.
And we're going to end the year with hopefully something good.
Die Hard. Die Hard.
Yeah. OK. You put four one to four one.
Yeah. Max. But like five in.
Put a five. Take another one.
Oh, I was just hoping to get another turn.
But Die Hard doesn't feel like.
No, the dice, the dice line is it's the it's the first like actually
just solid fucking movie that we've said we think.
Oh, no, the thing I don't know that Die Hard when it came out,
I think it fits our old criteria.
I don't know if that's all of the movies.
Darn when it came out, that's something to unlock.
So let's all I don't know.
I haven't seen it crawl through. You have an air vent.
I heard I might have used some die hard.
But anyway, ladies and gentlemen,
I had one loaded. What's one of it?
Oh, shit. This one. Yeah. Here we go.
Are you ready?
Are you ready? Here's your music.
You. This is copyright free.
Look, without copyright, without copyright,
free downloads, free downloads without copyright.
Turn it down. No, I love it.
That's a turn down.
I can't hear it.
This can be the magic of editing.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Fuck it. I'm not going to say. Ladies and gentlemen,
this has been the Christmas episode of Fried Rice podcast.
It's been wonderful with me have been my little elves.
We have we have Michael.
It's hockey.
Larsen basically slaps it.
It's a little bit of a
slapstick. We have we have Brendan.
Don't add it in and add it in and add it in and add it in and add it in and simply add to us.
Have a good one, everybody.
And we have what was the nickname you wanted to give yourself earlier?
I don't remember. I don't remember either.
What was it? Jesse?
We have the body.
Oh, no, no, no.
We have we have Jesse.
Holy, holy, holy, holy little Christmas heart.
Did you have a stroke?
Merry Christmas, everyone.
I'm Andy Rice. I've been fried off my fucking ass.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Good night.