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It's a fried rice Christmas, ho ho ho.

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Ho ho ho.

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Oh, everybody and welcome to 8 Crazy Nights of Christmas with your host, Andy Santa Claus Rice.

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That's me, ho ho.

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I don't like that voice one bit.

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With me as always are my reindeers Dasher and Dancer and Prancer.

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It's Austin.

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Check me out on the naughty list.

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And Vixen and Comet and Cupid and Michael.

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What's up everybody?

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It's Donner and Blitzen and Rudolph and Brennan.

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Hello.

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I thought you were going to be more clever with that and be like, I thought he was going to have a stroke.

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Jingle jingle beats per minute.

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Brennan.

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I wasn't going to bring in our inside joke about beats per minute.

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Shipley out to the North Pole.

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I was actually, this is what I was originally, but maybe on our next Christmas one you'll see the one I was going to do for Brennan.

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It's going to be different each time.

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I'm not going to introduce you guys as my reindeer.

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And I'm never going to do that voice ever again.

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And I'm going to probably kill myself after this episode because that was embarrassing.

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Now, I mean, maybe if there was like a cartoon, I might have to make an AI cartoon of a Santa Claus, like a super cutesy one that would work with that voice so that it worked for the episode.

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I'll work on that later.

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But welcome, everybody.

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Hello.

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This is it.

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It's Christmas time.

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It's our eight crazy nights of Christmas.

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Why did we decide to appropriate a Jewish holiday and make it our own?

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And I don't know.

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Because we're white colonialists.

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That's what we do.

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This is our plug and play field.

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We are, as you might know, this is going to be our, so this is night one of the eight crazy nights.

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And on our eight crazy night, which is going to be Boxing Day.

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Right.

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That's what we're releasing our very special lost episode.

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But yeah, wasn't that supposed to be the ninth night?

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Was that what?

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We don't know how math works.

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Yeah, we don't.

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If you're familiar with the 17 nights of Halloween, you might be familiar with the fact that we didn't know we were doing that either.

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So now those eight crazy nights of Christmas, I think is nine nights, includes one Hanukkah movie.

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And that's our lost episode.

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So look forward to that when we had less when our equipment was worse and we went on more tangents.

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So fuck up for that.

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We're fun.

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I think we went on about the same amount of tension.

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Yeah, I was just trying to make people forget about all the tangents that we go on constantly.

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Tonight is the very first night we decided to go with fucking awesome.

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We're going to call it a brand new classic.

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This movie just came out a couple of years ago and it is already going to be a movie that if you haven't seen it yet, it's going to be on your list of every Christmas.

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You're going to want to watch this thing.

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And that movie is violent nights.

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All right, everybody.

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So what do you guys think?

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I only took like six notes on this movie because I was just enjoying it so much.

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The Santa puking on a lady.

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I was already sold on it.

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Yeah, that's one of my first notes.

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First off, when we meet, he's in a bar fucking wasted.

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I was like, OK, I've seen bad Santa.

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Like, I've seen this, but he plays it differently, which I like.

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He is a Santa that loves the children.

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He wants people to be on the nice list.

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He's a good hearted Santa, but he's disappointed.

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He's disappointed.

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Fuck.

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And the magic is dying.

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And because of that, he's sinking into this depression.

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He's trying to kill with fucking alcohol.

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That's different than crook playing mall Santa abuses child for hours.

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This is still good Santa.

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Yeah.

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Unhappy because people don't believe in him.

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This is depressed Viking Santa, which you don't get to very often say.

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And it's very cool.

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Drunk, depressed, action Santa.

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And I love it.

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So my first note was I like him already.

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Like right when he was talking and he's having that like that connection with that other Santa and the other guy like he's like, so what are you going to do after this?

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Oh, man, I got a busy night delivering presents.

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And they both laugh because it's kind of sweet.

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And he's like, you know what?

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No Santa should be this fucking sad.

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I'll buy you a drink.

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I loved that.

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That was like a sweet camaraderie between them two.

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And then she's like, oh, no, that's the way to the roof.

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And the look on her face when she sees the real Santa was so magical.

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And then he pukes on her face.

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But even the look that she gives after being puked on is not disgust.

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There's still wonder behind her.

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I like wonder.

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Because it tastes like peppermint.

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Yeah, I had to I had to look away after she got puked on her face.

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I started God.

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It was it was gnarly.

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I went into this movie completely blind.

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I didn't know who was in it.

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I didn't know what kind of movie it was.

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I assumed it was a horror movie.

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Oh, I you just right now said the words completely blind.

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And in my mind, I spelled that C-U-M.

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So and I think that would be the name of an amazing ableist forward.

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Like, you know, talking about like like we put like if you don't stop dot,

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dot, dot, you'll go blind.

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No, what I'm thinking is it's a porno, but there's no visual.

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I was thinking a punk band.

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Oh, completely, completely.

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Yeah, I was thinking just a pornographic movie made for blind people where

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it's all audio, where they do the sound effects.

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You know how like you get those graphic audio books where they do like the

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dolly work and feel like they're pretty sure this exists.

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I don't know.

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Is there graphic audio porn completely, completely compromised?

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Let's see.

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Oh, they did that.

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They did graphic audio port or you just consider their.

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And we always basically account is graphic audio porn, erotic audio porn,

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erotic audio, do the one with the ogre.

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Oh, I did the one with titties.

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I don't know if we're going to get copyrighted for this, but this is a Christmas

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episode.

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We're not even ten minutes in and we've already had no more.

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There's already anime titties on my street with it.

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But it's six minutes of this whole whole whole moving on from all the

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host that I went to this.

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What are your thoughts on this movie?

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I went in completely blind.

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You know, come let's look at porn.

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You know what?

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I hope to God this blows up one day and a therapist listens to this and they

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freely diagnosed me one day.

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They call me like, hey, bud, listen, Anthony, just like that.

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He had a he had a bunch of therapists listen to his comedy specials and they

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just diagnosed him with so many things.

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But here's the thing.

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A comedy special is a little bit different than a podcast.

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This isn't rehearsed.

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This is in practice.

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This is off the cuff.

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It's off the cuff, which makes it worse or real.

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Yeah, because I'm a fucking insane person.

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So his wife can't be civil and we're not really here, Andy.

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Oh, shut up.

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We're going to walk another guest just like we did all those months ago on

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that Hocus Pocus episode.

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That's a fun prediction.

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So, OK, so we meet the main characters, Alex Castle.

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And for some reason, I couldn't like what is he from?

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He's from the boys.

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He's translucent.

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That's what I could get out of my fucking head the whole time.

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I'm looking at him going like, why do I know him?

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Why do I kind of hate him?

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That's like the whole time.

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I'm like, why do I kind of hate this guy?

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And it's because he was translucent to the boys.

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So I think I'm glad I looked that up.

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So we have translucent from the boys and his wife who's played by Alexis

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Louder. I don't know what else she's been in.

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She's a pretty black chick.

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Louder with Crowder.

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Probably not.

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I said she's a black chick.

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So they have a really cute little girl, Trudy, Gertrude, because she's

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named after her grandmother, which we find out, but she goes by Trudy.

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And she's really sweet and like the total like eight-year-old that like

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would be on the nice list that you see later.

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Like she's sweet to animals and she picks up after.

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So I like I paused it on some of the lists as he like opens it up.

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And it shows that it like shows like the this dude killed killed his best

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friend or whoever when it gets to John Ligua Zamos.

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I love the list.

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The list was cool.

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What a fucking cool thing.

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And how does it work?

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Christmas magic.

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When he first talks to her on the walkie talkie and he looks and it sees

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her name on the list and she talked to him.

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I'm like, oh, I almost teared up a little bit.

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So sweet.

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And then immediately when he looked up the naughty list and it's all the

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guys trying to kill him.

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And I just started laughing.

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Yeah, I like when the rest of the mercenary show up and the naughty list

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just starts rolling.

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He's like, by the way, we'll get there.

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But that shed scene, I don't know what it was.

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Boat house, shed garage, whatever scene where he gets the fucking where he

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gets his new skulls.

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That's not skull crunch.

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The sledgehammer.

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And it's just like the most Christian sounding like Christmas song.

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And he's just Santa Claus killing swat guys.

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I'm just in.

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I'm in 100 percent.

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This is why I came here.

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I like Al.

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We meet the security guard.

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I noticed Al's nice.

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I hope nothing bad happens to him.

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And then we meet Bertrude, which is which is translucent sister.

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Just the thing is that translucent and his sister are their mother is like a

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huge business person, has a bunch of money.

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Maybe all maybe not all of it gotten legally ill gotten gains, especially

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bitch.

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Yeah.

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Huge bitch played by.

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Oh, God.

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She's phenomenal.

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That's her name.

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She's not showing up.

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Why is she not on the top list?

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That's great.

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Yeah.

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It's Beverly D'Angelo.

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Yeah.

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Oh, yeah.

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Very much reminds me of only God forgives mom.

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She's she's vacation.

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She's vacation.

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Yeah.

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She's she's.

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Yeah.

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So that's like if you ever know her, she's an all the vacation.

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She's the wife, which she's great in this.

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She's phenomenal.

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So she we meet we Bertrude and he's the son named after the bomb, which is

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the grand live streaming live streaming such a fucking dick.

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So my next note is I hope this kid dies.

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And then we meet.

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OK.

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Translucent sister is weird, bro.

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She calls her brother Liptych, which I am a guy with two sisters and we do not

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ever call each other genital forward snick things ever.

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Never.

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Never.

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Never.

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I mean, like, would you ever call your sister, hey, loose lips or something

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like that?

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You know, like, no.

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Why would you?

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It's weird.

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So she calls him Liptych and then follows up with kiss me in front of my son.

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She says that to her action husband husband.

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Like, threw me off.

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Is is Bertrude from a different father or have they been married this whole

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fucking time?

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Because it doesn't seem that way.

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Because after he leaves and and and the sister like she goes, oh, he's an idiot.

254
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,000
But oh, it's fucking hot.

255
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:48,000
That's not really how you would talk about like husband, I guess, of Bertrude.

256
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000
I don't think husband.

257
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:54,000
I think, yeah, just new boyfriend or playing or he's trying to get into the money.

258
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000
Got it.

259
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,000
OK, he's trying to get the money because his Christmas present to the mom was

260
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,000
this pitch pitch.

261
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
Yeah, you're right.

262
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000
And if he was there for that long, it would be bad.

263
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000
Yeah.

264
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:10,000
So we really should have came up with that because I forgot.

265
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
That's what John Lee was on with his everybody.

266
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Mike, Mike, you can use the line from the movie where they called the actor

267
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,000
boyfriend tragic Mike tragic Mike.

268
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,000
No, you'll be screwed because you started off before we even started by saying

269
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000
fucking Christmas.

270
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000
You want to get into that a little bit.

271
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,000
Why do you hate it?

272
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000
Because it's so fake now.

273
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:36,000
The same reason it had to do with this movie, because most of Christmas now is

274
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,000
not what Christmas we've got to make it our mission by the commercial.

275
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
It's commercialized.

276
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,000
Too many people talking to commercialize.

277
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,000
Finish your thought.

278
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000
Yeah, to commercialize.

279
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000
It's not what it used to be.

280
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:50,000
We got to spend the next eight episodes making Mike believe again.

281
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000
Yeah, we will.

282
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000
I was agree with Mike.

283
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000
I mean, I love Christmas.

284
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,000
But, yeah, I do agree that the kind of Christmas spirit has kind of become

285
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
about just like, give me, give me, give me.

286
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:05,000
Like, that's why like I didn't like Christmas for the longest time.

287
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,000
And like now that I have kids and they're young and like my kids are grown.

288
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000
I liked it more when they were little.

289
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000
That's kind of what's happening here.

290
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Seeing their excitement.

291
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000
Kids are too old.

292
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,000
And then you have stuff of like even the simplest things, you know, it's just,

293
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000
it's always fun.

294
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:21,000
Tradition, just like, like I'm 30 and every year we would, we would, you know,

295
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000
we'd all be in warm clothes.

296
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
There'd be a fireplace going.

297
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,000
A Christmas story would be playing on repeat the whole day.

298
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,000
We like, it's just the tradition of it.

299
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000
That's great.

300
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,000
It's not about what's going on outside, how people are trying to sell you gifts,

301
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
the merchandise, everything.

302
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
I mean, all the new stuff sucks now.

303
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000
It's way too expensive.

304
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
Before you just wanted RC cars.

305
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
Whatever the commercial was just throwing at you.

306
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
New from Hasbro.

307
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000
Yeah.

308
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:49,000
I think that just like any other holiday, it's a state of mind.

309
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,000
It's, it's, you can, you allow yourself as much enjoyment as you allow yourself

310
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000
to have.

311
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,000
So if you go into a bitter Scrooge mentality, it's not going to be fun.

312
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,000
You totally focus on the capitalism side of everything.

313
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
You can do that for every fucking holiday.

314
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
You can do it for every single holiday.

315
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000
There's not a holiday that doesn't have some sort of capitalistic twist.

316
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,000
Best holiday.

317
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,000
Thanksgiving.

318
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000
Yeah, I agree.

319
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Just food.

320
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000
It's all about food.

321
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000
Food and family.

322
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000
Food and family.

323
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000
That's the thing.

324
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000
It's about food and family.

325
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
No, no, no, no.

326
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
Hold on.

327
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,000
Thanksgiving is not about food and family.

328
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Thanksgiving is the made up way to make us think that Christopher Columbus went back in

329
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,000
time, or like not went back in time, but met the Indians and was best friends with them

330
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000
and they all had dinner together on their first harvest.

331
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Yeah.

332
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000
Except for everyone has their Thanksgiving.

333
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,000
Canada has their Thanksgiving.

334
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Well, they don't.

335
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000
Yes, they do.

336
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000
Well, do they call it Thanksgiving?

337
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Yes.

338
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000
But not everyone.

339
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,000
That would be just us two constant cultures.

340
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Western cultures.

341
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
Well, maybe Mexico, but Mexico, I don't think.

342
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000
Honestly, I don't know.

343
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,000
I just know Canada does.

344
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000
I don't know.

345
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
But like Europe doesn't have a Thanksgiving.

346
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000
No, I don't.

347
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000
Well, because they wouldn't.

348
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:59,000
Thanksgiving is specifically about our Native American bond.

349
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000
There wouldn't be Native Americans in Europe.

350
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,000
Because I know Christopher Columbus shows up.

351
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:07,000
He says, I was the first one here and all the Native Americans went, yes, you are here.

352
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
You can take all this land.

353
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000
Here's some turkey.

354
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,000
You want some turkey?

355
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:15,000
But the same way that you think Thanksgiving is about food and family and let's eat some

356
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,000
turkey and let's get together is a state of mind.

357
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
It has nothing to do with the holiday itself.

358
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:26,000
It's just an arbitrary Thursday that we all decide in November to pick to have a group

359
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,000
meeting with our family and just be around family.

360
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:36,000
And it's nice because it's in the wintertime and so the weather is more mild.

361
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
But Christmas can be the same way.

362
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,000
So it's like you can go into it being like, oh, man, I fucking hate this.

363
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
I got to buy presents for everybody.

364
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000
It's capitalistic or whatever.

365
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:47,000
Or just think of it like just a pleasant time.

366
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000
Like the music is nice.

367
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,000
The movies are fun.

368
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,000
It's a time to let yourself go.

369
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
I wish that I could watch Christmas movies all year.

370
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
You can.

371
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,000
I wish that I could listen to Christmas music all year.

372
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000
You can.

373
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000
No, I can't.

374
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000
You do.

375
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000
I do.

376
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Okay.

377
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Okay, never mind.

378
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Shut up, Brendan.

379
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000
I do.

380
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000
I guess never mind.

381
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,000
I'm pretty sure you've talked about it on pod listening to Christmas music in July.

382
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000
Yeah, you're right.

383
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000
In 120 degree weather.

384
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000
It makes me try to forget.

385
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:23,000
I go to that Fight Club trick where he pretends to be in that snowy cave and he meets the

386
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000
seal and he goes, sly.

387
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,000
And I'm like every time I try to get cool, I try to think of that.

388
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000
It was a penguin.

389
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000
Was it a penguin?

390
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,000
Well, then I've been thinking about it wrong all these years.

391
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000
I thought of a little seal.

392
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000
I even named him Seal and Sealy.

393
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,000
I think a lot of it too is since I moved here.

394
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,000
Because I grew up with Christmas, there was snow on the ground.

395
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,000
It was a completely different feeling.

396
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
The decorations look different.

397
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Everything is different than it was for the first 30 years of my life.

398
00:16:55,000 --> 00:17:00,000
The first 30 years of my life, it was a lot of what you would picture as the ideal Christmas.

399
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Living in the Midwest, snow on the ground, Christmas decorations everywhere.

400
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
I get what you mean.

401
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,000
Now everything kind of sucks.

402
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:17,000
People aren't rich and the middle class isn't thriving like it used to back in the day.

403
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,000
So you can't afford the electricity bill to have lights up all year.

404
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
You can't just do a whole full decoration.

405
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
And what sucks is you're right.

406
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Now it's like most people are like, I'm not going to bother.

407
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000
So you can't be that one house in your neighborhood that goes all out.

408
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000
It's not worth it.

409
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Halloween now, do kids go to neighborhoods to go?

410
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
I've never had a kid knock on this door.

411
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
Why would they?

412
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Not out here.

413
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
Especially not in Havasu.

414
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Halloween they just have a bunch of booths set up.

415
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000
There's certain neighborhoods.

416
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,000
Not even Trunk or Treats.

417
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,000
It's just local businesses advertising their shit.

418
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
They had to find a couple for the kids.

419
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000
A couple neighborhoods here where we'll take our kids.

420
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,000
There's also one, the Pill Hill we call it.

421
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000
Where all the doctors live.

422
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000
The place where all the doctors live that we call Pill Hill?

423
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Corwin?

424
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000
Corwin, yeah.

425
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
Is that like Sunny Slope in Phoenix?

426
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Where they're like all the dopes in Sunny Slope?

427
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,000
What other fun colloquial terms do we have for places?

428
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Oh, in Henderson, where all the tweakers live, they call it Hender Spun.

429
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:23,000
Or my favorite, Hender Tucky.

430
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000
That's great.

431
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Cool.

432
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:36,000
So we are at the Christmas party, I guess, at the mansion.

433
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,000
This highly secure compound.

434
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:45,000
And the translucent and his wife are going through a separation.

435
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
You can tell that things are rough between them.

436
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:51,000
And as they're heading there, she's doing this for the kid.

437
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:57,000
He's hoping that maybe he can change things with her possibly.

438
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:01,000
I know that we now know that he has a plan to steal $300 million from his mom and get out.

439
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000
But she doesn't know this yet.

440
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:09,000
And so when they get there, they meet Al, sweet Al, sweet Prince of Al.

441
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:14,000
And oh, I like the line that she says, we're all not lucky.

442
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,000
We are not all lucky enough to have daughters.

443
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:22,000
Which is like such a flip of the stereotype.

444
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:26,000
It's like in any culture, sons is where you go.

445
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
You want sons.

446
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
You want sons.

447
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
The man is the one that runs the company.

448
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,000
And so she's the matriarch as a grandmother figure.

449
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000
And she wants more women in the family.

450
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,000
So that's great that her daughter is pissed that she had a son, which is great.

451
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
That's such a fun thing.

452
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Well, that's why she named him Bertrude instead of Gertrude.

453
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Yeah, Bertrude.

454
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,000
Now, I would go by Bert, too.

455
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,000
And I like when they're kind of getting contentious with each other earlier.

456
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,000
And Alexis Laddertrude, who's his wife, she turns.

457
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000
She gets Bertrude.

458
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000
That's not a real name.

459
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,000
And he looks at his mom.

460
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,000
So great.

461
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:14,000
So we get the twist, I guess, the very quick twist, is that catering staff are all a bunch of mercenaries.

462
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,000
Mercenaries.

463
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:20,000
And they're led by John Leguizamba, Scrooge, Mr. Scrooge.

464
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000
I was going to say his character name is from Die Hard.

465
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,000
From Die Hard?

466
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,000
Yeah.

467
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Who's the bad guy?

468
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
Like Die Hard 2?

469
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
He's also a clown, right?

470
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000
Yeah.

471
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000
He's definitely a violator in Spawn.

472
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000
John Leguizamba?

473
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000
Was it a die-hard?

474
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000
No, that's why I gave him.

475
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000
He was in The Pest.

476
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,000
If you think The Pest and Die Hard are the same movie, we've got to have a conversation.

477
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000
No, you're thinking John Wick.

478
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000
He was a bad guy in John Wick.

479
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000
Oh, John Wick.

480
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,000
That's right.

481
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Oh, and he's not a bad guy.

482
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
He's the chop shopper.

483
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
He was a chop shopper?

484
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000
I thought he was a bad guy.

485
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,000
He's the one that tells John Wick that he got in his car.

486
00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:01,000
Oh, he's the one that calls the Russian mafia guy and goes, hey, man, your son just came in here with John Wick's car.

487
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000
Like, what the fuck?

488
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
And the Russian guy's like, oh, shit.

489
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,000
So he's in the middle ground.

490
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000
He's in the middle.

491
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Romeo plus Juliet?

492
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
I think it was in Mario.

493
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
The first Mario movie.

494
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,000
Is he?

495
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Yeah, the first Mario Brothers movie.

496
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000
Oh, he's in so many movies.

497
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
I was thinking of the new one.

498
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000
No, not the new one.

499
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
You can just go on and on.

500
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
He's in so many movies.

501
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000
Yeah, he is.

502
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
But I want to just special highlight real quick.

503
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000
Romeo with Juliet.

504
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,000
He was Mercutio, wasn't he?

505
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,000
He was tight.

506
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000
Tideball.

507
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,000
I don't know.

508
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000
I just don't know.

509
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Oh, he was the one that fought with Mercutio.

510
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,000
Oh, when was the last time you watched Romeo plus Juliet?

511
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000
High school.

512
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
How did you know that he was the one that fought?

513
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,000
Because I remember their fight scene, and it was pretty epic.

514
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,000
If this was on Tubi, we would have argued.

515
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
That's funny.

516
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000
I remember most of the movies I watched in school.

517
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Did school itself?

518
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Yeah.

519
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
We had music class.

520
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
He's like, just listen to the music.

521
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000
We just watch movies all day.

522
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Matrix.

523
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,000
What was the one movie that when it's raining, like we had a...

524
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,000
Goonies.

525
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000
Oh, see, ours wasn't.

526
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,000
It was Cool Running.

527
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000
Anytime that we...

528
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000
Oh, it's cool.

529
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,000
Anytime that we was raining.

530
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:11,000
At all of the schools, from elementary to high school, they would just put on Cool Running.

531
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,000
And I don't know why.

532
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:17,000
I think it was just that maybe some superintendent of the schools bought a couple hundred copies

533
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:21,000
of Cool Running, thinking that it was the shit, and then sent them out to all the schools,

534
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,000
but that's what they had.

535
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,000
We got a lot of Bill Nye.

536
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,000
Bill Nye, yep.

537
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,000
Well, we had that too, but I'm talking like Rainy Day PE.

538
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,000
It was Cool Running all day long.

539
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000
So we meet the crew.

540
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,000
We meet One Punch Man.

541
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:41,000
He makes the fun joke about Boxing Day, and he fucking knocks out the security guard.

542
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Love that.

543
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:47,000
Even though he knocks out the security guard, they kill indiscriminately throughout this

544
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,000
movie.

545
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
I don't know why he didn't finish the job.

546
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000
It's like he one punched the dude.

547
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Guy knocks out.

548
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Realistically, if this was a Mercenaries are Killing Everybody, he would follow that up

549
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,000
by pulling a knife out and just cutting the dude's fucking throat, and then he would walk

550
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000
out.

551
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,000
I'm just saying.

552
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,000
I love you disappointed about the lack of realism in one scene in the most unrealistic

553
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000
movie of all time.

554
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:15,000
If you think it's one scene, Michael, you haven't been in a movie review with me.

555
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:20,000
If you think there's one scene I have an issue with the realism, you haven't been listening.

556
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,000
Remember six months ago with the King of the Avenue episode?

557
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Everything except for the PlayStation 2.

558
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,000
Yeah.

559
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:31,000
Because you can't just pick up a PlayStation 2 controller.

560
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,000
It doesn't matter.

561
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
It's not how it works.

562
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
We didn't have rest mode back then.

563
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,000
All right.

564
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:42,000
So, oh, yeah.

565
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Then after he knocks him up, some of the caterers, my question is, why are the caterers still

566
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,000
there?

567
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,000
Because we have the party part, which is not even a party.

568
00:23:55,000 --> 00:24:02,000
It's the two families come, right, the brother, the sister, their spouses, and children.

569
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,000
So, the six of them and matriarch, matriarch, grandmother.

570
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,000
That's it.

571
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,000
That's the whole party.

572
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000
There aren't other guests coming.

573
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
So, they have their exchange.

574
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,000
They do their thing, and they're about to go eat or whatever.

575
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,000
I feel like then the catering staff would fuck off.

576
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,000
I would say they're more servers than caterers.

577
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000
The caterers have already dropped it off.

578
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
They're serving them, giving them drinks and things like that.

579
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,000
I feel like he makes a point of saying, like, you're the worst catering company I've ever

580
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,000
hired.

581
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
You cut them lengthwise, not sideways.

582
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,000
He says that.

583
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,000
When they were setting them up.

584
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Yeah, when she was setting them up.

585
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Well, because a catering company provides all of them.

586
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000
They provide the servers.

587
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
They provide everything.

588
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Yeah, you hire.

589
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
That's how it works at a party, though.

590
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:45,000
I've been to catered parties, and they don't leave until the end of the party.

591
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,000
They do all the cleanup.

592
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,000
They do all of it.

593
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:53,000
But have you ever been to a party at a mansion with six people where, like, what I'm saying

594
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:58,000
is, like, it just seems, and I understand extravagant and excessive, and that's totally

595
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
on brand with her.

596
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:06,000
But I don't know if, like, she would want 20 random people walking around her house

597
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:10,000
or, like, an extra 10 people walking around her house longer than necessary.

598
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:16,000
Because I feel like she'd still be, have some sort of, like, doesn't want her shit stolen.

599
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:19,000
I understand what you're saying, but I think you're internalizing it because I think these

600
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000
rich people like that, they're used to it.

601
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
It's just the way their lives are.

602
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Six people, that's, like, not even enough to where you have to call in ahead at a restaurant.

603
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,000
They have caterers, a team of caterers.

604
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:36,000
I mean, I'm going to guess that at Mark Cuban's house there's caterers all the time.

605
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,000
That's what I'm saying.

606
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Oh, yeah.

607
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,000
I just listened to him on Thea Vaughn.

608
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,000
That's, like, they'll go to a bar and see who can run up the bill the most.

609
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Right.

610
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,000
Well, we're looking at it from our point of view versus rich people's point of view.

611
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,000
That's all.

612
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
I mean, I don't think Mark Cuban would have caterers every day.

613
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000
You know what I mean?

614
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Every night, but every holiday.

615
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
I bet he has a private chef.

616
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,000
I bet he has a chef that cooks his family's food for him every night or whatever.

617
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000
Yeah, or if he's not going out.

618
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000
But, okay, fair enough.

619
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Maybe it was valid that they were stolen.

620
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,000
I do like the line, when he was small, I begged you to beat him.

621
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,000
Oh, that line.

622
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,000
That was great.

623
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,000
Begged you to beat him.

624
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,000
This is when they're all being surrounded and Bertr's just fucking popping off because

625
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000
he's so annoying.

626
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
Poor Al.

627
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,000
Al got a fucking shot.

628
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Poor Al.

629
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,000
I was so sad.

630
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:28,000
When we meet Mr. Scrooge, the two bodyguards have guns.

631
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,000
Oh, okay.

632
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,000
Oh, yeah.

633
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000
So, okay.

634
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Scrooge is walking.

635
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:44,000
He's walking into the room and he runs across the matriarch and she has her two bodyguards.

636
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:49,000
These two bodyguards have guns drawn ready to protect her.

637
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:54,000
They have already heard tons of gunshots going on around the house, okay?

638
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,000
Then John Liguizamo opens the door.

639
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:02,000
He looks at them and he's like, you can call me Mr. Scrooge or whatever.

640
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:06,000
They decide in that, I mean, literally, they hear gunshots.

641
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000
They know they're under attack.

642
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,000
They know people are fucking dying.

643
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,000
Their number one goal is to keep her safe.

644
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000
They're at the fucking safe room.

645
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:16,000
He decides to try to punch John Liguizamo with his gun hand.

646
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:21,000
And John Liguizamo, of course, he takes the gun, flips it around, and shoots the other guy.

647
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000
And he takes it out and he kills the dude.

648
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Why?

649
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,000
That is the worst bodyguard of any movie I've ever seen.

650
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:35,000
What happens is, guy opens door you don't recognize on a secure compound that you fucking are paid to protect the person.

651
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000
They shoot him in the movie here.

652
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Yes.

653
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,000
I agree.

654
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,000
No.

655
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000
It doesn't have to end the movie.

656
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,000
It doesn't have to end the movie because I think the crew would have still continued to go with the plan.

657
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,000
They might have had mastermind.

658
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:52,000
But as we found out later, when her personal team shows up, that guy knew just as much about the plan.

659
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,000
He helped open up the safe.

660
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000
In fact, Liguizamo couldn't have done it without him.

661
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,000
So really, Scrooge was unnecessary.

662
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
He's the guy that got it all together, planned the operation.

663
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,000
But him dying doesn't change anything.

664
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,000
The plan still went on.

665
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,000
Except for the other guy isn't that kind of a criminal to settle it up.

666
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000
That's the thing.

667
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000
But it's already set up.

668
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,000
She also got to remember all these guards.

669
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000
They've probably been like just guarding this lady the whole time.

670
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,000
And they just they don't they're not they're facing no opposition ever.

671
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000
Like, no, she would not hire.

672
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:27,000
There's no way that this chick, especially stealing three hundred and six million dollars from the U.S.

673
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:34,000
government, doesn't have black desert like, you know, like those those mercenary dudes that want to kill.

674
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Not even not even they're not holding back.

675
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:42,000
They want more than anything in this fucking earth to kill someone and get paid to do it.

676
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Are you kidding me?

677
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:53,000
There are psychopaths out there that are smart enough to find a line of work police to where you can just kill people indiscriminately and get away with it.

678
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Get paid because he was white.

679
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Oh, so you think they took us? No.

680
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,000
It's John Liguizamo. He's Hispanic.

681
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,000
They would have. I know they're 100 percent.

682
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:08,000
They would have saw his ass. What I was trying to say is that they probably just weren't sharpened up for the night.

683
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
They just were. Yeah, they had another Christmas.

684
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:17,000
No, again, house full of caterers that they probably either they did whatever background checks they could.

685
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,000
It might maybe they just vetted the catering company itself.

686
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,000
But no, house full of strangers, extra visitors or families in town.

687
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,000
They're on extra high alert, extra vigilant throughout the night.

688
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000
And and you're saying that, oh, maybe they're just a little bit lax.

689
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,000
And all the money, literally what all the money in the house, too.

690
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,000
There's three hundred six million plus.

691
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:40,000
There's literally by this point, their friends have died.

692
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,000
There's like they hearing machine gunfire going off in the house.

693
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,000
They assume everyone is dead.

694
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:49,000
They're as amped, hyped and as vigilant as he gets.

695
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,000
Absolutely. Gun in hand.

696
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000
We're realistic. Absolutely.

697
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,000
They had a shot that did when he opened it. Yeah, there's no doubt if it were realistic.

698
00:29:55,000 --> 00:30:01,000
However, it's a movie. Al, he can't get over the fact that these are not real life.

699
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Poor Al would have shot him. Why do I?

700
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,000
I would have shot. I would have. That's the thing.

701
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:11,000
I agree. When he goes, oh, hey, buddy, I'm a little lost.

702
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,000
I feel like Al would put his hand on his gun and say, sir, I have to ask you to leave.

703
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,000
And the moment he does it, you pull his gun out saying, I'm going to have to ask you.

704
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:24,000
Now, if at that point, Ligwizoma got the drop on him, I would understand that the movie's got a movie.

705
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,000
But he didn't even try. So, yeah.

706
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:32,000
So one punch man should have cut that dude's fucking throat out and they should have killed John Ligwizoma on the spot.

707
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Why do I feel like I'm not going to like your grade on this movie?

708
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Because he's going to give it like a five after all this.

709
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,000
He's going to go all the way through, hammer the movie the whole way through and then give it a five.

710
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000
That's what he always does. I'm not hammering the movie.

711
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,000
I fucking I'm enjoying every one of these things.

712
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:52,000
As soon as shit gets real for Santa, it's all it's all smooth sailing.

713
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
Yeah. You don't care about the people.

714
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:58,000
No, I cared about him. I cared about I care about the little girl's relationship.

715
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000
And I wanted her. I wanted her.

716
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,000
I wanted Trudy's Christmas wish to come true or her parents got back together.

717
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:07,000
And it did. And then I also like that sweet moment where he's like,

718
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:12,000
remember when you wanted that toy and I got it for you and then the next year you wanted to fly.

719
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000
And I was like, that's a pretty big wish. I don't know if I can do that.

720
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,000
But then I got you a flight or a kite and it let you feel like you were soaring in the sky.

721
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,000
I was sweet like what a well written Santa.

722
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:26,000
If there wasn't the backdrop of violence in this movie,

723
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:31,000
if you just think about little girl divorced parents and that's the Santa,

724
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:35,000
it's like a depressed Santa who feels like the world like the world is forgetting about him.

725
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000
Gives off a little bit the Santa Claus vibes.

726
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,000
But like if you did it like a look like with this kind of nuance and touch like this did,

727
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000
it maybe could hold up on its own without the violence.

728
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000
But I feel like the violence absolutely is why we're here.

729
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:57,000
And it starts off great with a fucking star in the eye electrocuting his head to the point where it lights on fire.

730
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:02,000
And he just lets it cook while he's just fucking sitting there and then fucking falls out the window.

731
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:08,000
And I love that he looks down and he realizes the lights and then fucking falls back. So good. So good.

732
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:14,000
And then they like a video game, the goons, they go, I just see their flashlights.

733
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:19,000
What was that noise? And they go over and they see a body and they alert, you know, they do like a little alert.

734
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,000
Everybody finds out. OK, there's a dead body. There's something going on here.

735
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:31,000
We've got a we've got someone on the loose. We got our first flashback to warrior Santa.

736
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:38,000
And we don't get much. Just get him just kind of standing there like breathing hard. Yeah.

737
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,000
Like he just did something violent covered in blood, covered in blood.

738
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:45,000
And we're like, oh, fuck. Burning village around. I love it.

739
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:50,000
I love that every time anything magical happens, he doesn't understand it.

740
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:55,000
It's just Christmas magic. He just goes with it. David. David Harbor fucking nailed it.

741
00:32:55,000 --> 00:33:01,000
So great. David Harbor is is I wouldn't say underrated because he's absolutely getting the credit

742
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:06,000
he deserves as the case of this hellboy. Like every time I see him.

743
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,000
Yeah. Like so David Harbor, you're he's getting the attention he deserves.

744
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,000
And it's worth it. Like it's well deserved. They recast the hellboy.

745
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:17,000
He well, because it was originally the dad from Sons of Anarchy.

746
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,000
That guy. Yeah. No, it's Ron Perlman for the first two.

747
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,000
And then they did a reboot in 2018 or whatever.

748
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:27,000
And they saw the weird fish guy. Yeah. Ape Sapien and the new.

749
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,000
Oh, wait. I don't know if they had Ape Sapien. No.

750
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,000
This because I think this one was more of like a prequel.

751
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,000
Yeah, not prequel because it doesn't.

752
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000
I don't know if it connects to the Ron Perlman.

753
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,000
I haven't watched it all the way. I haven't watched it yet.

754
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000
This one, though, I think is pre Ape Sapien.

755
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,000
Or maybe you meet him. I forget.

756
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:52,000
I remember it being fucking a really, really awesome scene where he fights some giants out like a forest.

757
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,000
Like any beast to shoot him. It's it's actually solid.

758
00:33:55,000 --> 00:34:00,000
If you haven't seen David Harbour's Hellboy, I just saw the first Hellboy and I thought it was awesome.

759
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:04,000
And I just didn't care to watch anything else after that. Hellboy right there.

760
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,000
My best piece of art. World's biggest friendship bracelet, right?

761
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,000
Because your friend has the other one. Yeah.

762
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:15,000
It's like a little portal. I feel like every time I'm jerking off right there.

763
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaking of the new Hellboy.

764
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,000
It's funny how it's like I'm jerking off in my bed anymore now that I live alone. It's all couched up.

765
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000
Right where you said Austin. Right where Austin sits.

766
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:25,000
The new Hellboy is not getting a release, by the way.

767
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,000
Let's get direct to video. OK, cool.

768
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,000
I mean, it should make you a very, that's your favorite. Yeah. Sucks for Hellboy.

769
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:36,000
But I'm down for. He's got a dark horse.

770
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,000
First stand alone.

771
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
Or if.

772
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000
But I'll go with.

773
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000
Uh.

774
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000
But forgive me.

775
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:51,000
The one that's shit. OK, so Hellboy is a oh, he's BPRD.

776
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,000
So BPRD.

777
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:57,000
BPRD. It says BPRBD.

778
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:02,000
BPRBD.

779
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,000
I go back to Pornhub.

780
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Was that this episode? Oh, yeah.

781
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,000
That was the start of the episode. Yeah.

782
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,000
Uh, shit. It's the fucking. Dark Horse. There we go. Dark Horse.

783
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,000
Yeah, he's at BPRD. Did you ever watch BPRD?

784
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:20,000
That movie? No. With, uh, Ryan Reynolds and, uh.

785
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,000
RIPD. Jeff Bridges? RIPD.

786
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,000
That's two different things. Yeah, what's BPR?

787
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:30,000
I don't know what BPRD is. BPRD Diaries?

788
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:34,000
Oh, shit. Yes, that's a great movie.

789
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:37,000
RIPD's a great movie. I thought the RIPD.

790
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:41,000
I thought I.

791
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,000
I thought they were connected.

792
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,000
It could be Dark Horse, too. I don't know.

793
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Maybe it was the Dark Horse.

794
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
Because I only know the movie. I don't know.

795
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,000
Yeah, it's Dark Horse Entertainment. Is it also Dark Horse? Yeah.

796
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Just in Peace Departments.

797
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,000
That's why I feel like there's a.

798
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:02,000
And BPRD is. What does BPRD stand for?

799
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:12,000
I know what RIPD is. I don't know. I never heard BPR.

800
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000
You guys gotta talk.

801
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000
This is great. Just us Googling stuff.

802
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
It's in the universe, yeah. The devil you know.

803
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Oh, fuck yeah. Helble Bundle's got a nice, uh.

804
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,000
Hellboy universe going on. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude.

805
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000
I think I might pick this up.

806
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,000
20 bucks? I can get all these comics.

807
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,000
Okay. So I guess it's.

808
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
It's his department that he works for.

809
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,000
That's the like the. That weird department that.

810
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,000
That government agency.

811
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,000
Is that what Invincible was ripping off?

812
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:45,000
Hellboy? Yeah, there's like that Investigator Demon guy.

813
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000
Oh, yeah. I think that's.

814
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000
Well, that's Constantine and Hellboy.

815
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Yeah, it's a magic. It's a.

816
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,000
And it might even be a little bit of a.

817
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,000
What's his name?

818
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,000
Not Entracon. Who's the one that.

819
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,000
I don't even ask him. You guys wouldn't know.

820
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:08,000
So all right. Santa Claus. Yeah, Santa Claus.

821
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000
We see Santa with.

822
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:16,000
Santa with his skull crusher is like one of those God tier fucking scenes in a movie ever.

823
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:21,000
No, no, I'm talking about the new one, him standing there just in that flashback.

824
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:26,000
When you finally get the full pan out and you see all the bodies and he's holding skull crusher.

825
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000
This is great.

826
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000
Like Merry Christmas.

827
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,000
I just love the Santa history.

828
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000
I want to know if that follows some actual lore.

829
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:40,000
No. I'm sure there's a few different branching off stories of the origin of Santa Claus.

830
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000
It's close. It's not that far off.

831
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:48,000
The actual Santa Claus lore is that he's from Norway, Norway, Norway or Scandinavia, Scandinavian,

832
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:53,000
one of the Scandinavian countries, and he was a bad ass.

833
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,000
Those are Gunterslash.

834
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000
The clock.

835
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,000
Yeah, Brennan got it.

836
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,000
I like the guy that plays Krampus.

837
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:06,000
Brendan Fletcher, because he was.

838
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000
Where the gun.

839
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:15,000
Well, no, he's unfortunately is the star of four movie bulls.

840
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Oh, three rampage.

841
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Three of the rampage.

842
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,000
I saw I remember seeing all of which I liked.

843
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000
Whoa, fucking way.

844
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,000
I love movie.

845
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,000
We got a review.

846
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000
They're the best.

847
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:32,000
They are the best example of B movies there is.

848
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,000
They're not good.

849
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,000
They're not supposed to be.

850
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:41,000
Okay, the first rampage movie, which is Uwe Bull, is one of the most offensive movies ever.

851
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,000
Yeah.

852
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:43,000
To this day.

853
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:47,000
I mean, like, there's like he really ran with the.

854
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000
Oh, no, wait, I'm thinking of Postal.

855
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,000
No, I'm so sorry.

856
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,000
Because Rampage, I remember is a little bit different.

857
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,000
Postal.

858
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Another movie I love.

859
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000
I think he's also a postal though, isn't he?

860
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,000
Isn't he the guy from postal?

861
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,000
Don't they make him a crazy guy in this movie?

862
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:08,000
But he's the one that's all like, I just want to kill all you guys.

863
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,000
Yeah.

864
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,000
Yeah.

865
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,000
It's like a nod to his character.

866
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:15,000
Yeah, but he's also in something else I like.

867
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000
But it does.

868
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000
But dude, Rampage is crazy.

869
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:27,000
I remember just seeing the title knew exactly what this movie is about, but I watched it anyways and was just like, what the fuck?

870
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000
Was there any no redeeming qualities?

871
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000
He was in the final cut.

872
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,000
I think it was air, but oh, you're looking at air.

873
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,000
But he was in there.

874
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,000
I'm going to be.

875
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Is that going to be a double feature weekend?

876
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,000
We're going to watch Rampage and air, but.

877
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,000
Oh, yeah.

878
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:44,000
But we have reviewed a movie where he was in it.

879
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
That's the final cut.

880
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000
Who was he in the final cut?

881
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:54,000
Was and we also did Freddie versus Jason, which is also go back a few months ago and watch.

882
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000
Oh, he's in that.

883
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:00,000
I think he's one of the main dudes in that.

884
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000
Oh, fuck it.

885
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,000
OK, so you had to click back so many times.

886
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,000
I know, I know.

887
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,000
And that's it.

888
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:15,000
So then we get into that scene where he's in the garage and he has the sledgehammer and you have the Asian dude outside with computers.

889
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,000
He's inside and then he's just watching the camera feed is everyone just getting fucking annihilated.

890
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,000
He's like getting more and more scared.

891
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:25,000
And then when he leaves, he throws the hammer at it was so fun.

892
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:30,000
I loved when he put the figure skates on his hands and started just fucking him up with the figure skates.

893
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:31,000
Looks at the fucking plate.

894
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000
Hell, yeah.

895
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000
Decapitates the one guy with it.

896
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,000
Yeah.

897
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Last one in there.

898
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,000
The candy cane.

899
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,000
Yeah.

900
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,000
I mean, the candy cane is iconic.

901
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:43,000
I like these sticks in his mouth as he's getting as he just starts fucking people up and then pulls it out and kills what?

902
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,000
Five, six guys with that thing.

903
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,000
And then what about that?

904
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:56,000
He turns on that wrote the rotary blade machine or whatever after tying up three dudes just get pulled into the machine.

905
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,000
Oh, he's so ruthless.

906
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,000
Snowblower.

907
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,000
What's that?

908
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Not a snowblower.

909
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,000
Like what you do to like get your sidewalks of snow.

910
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,000
There we go.

911
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:15,000
I feel like there's no way you could have made this movie bad, even if you didn't have the badass Santa storyline where he's just a goofy Santa.

912
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,000
And all these people are just dying horribly around it.

913
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,000
Oh, no.

914
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,000
Making little wisecracks.

915
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,000
He's just sleeping around trying not to get killed himself.

916
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,000
It's like an adult home alone.

917
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,000
It is.

918
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,000
That's one of my notes is super home alone.

919
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:33,000
There's a whole one of the whole scene to this movie is absolutely an odd.

920
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,000
Yeah.

921
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Yeah.

922
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000
I'm going to home alone this bitch.

923
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,000
Yeah.

924
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Before she said, die, you filthy animal like home alone.

925
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,000
Remember that?

926
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:48,000
And then later on, she's like, I'm going to home alone this, which I like that they did give her the she had just watched home alone.

927
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,000
And that's why it's in her mind.

928
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,000
I do think that her traps were too smart for an eight year old girl.

929
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,000
I do.

930
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000
I call him alone.

931
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,000
No.

932
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Yeah, I feel like, oh, you know what?

933
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,000
You're absolutely fucking right.

934
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,000
Yeah.

935
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,000
How the hell did did the kid from home alone, Kevin McAlister?

936
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:13,000
How did Kevin McAlister get the paint cans tied up to the roof?

937
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:19,000
It's like, did he go up and staple gun the strings, the rope to the top of the roof and then launch them down?

938
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,000
Like, how the fuck?

939
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,000
OK, we'll do home alone next year.

940
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,000
The wet band.

941
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,000
You just do like, why did the wet bands just get a crowbar and kill this kid?

942
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Why did they just shoot him?

943
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,000
If you don't think why I don't like, listen, you're absolutely right.

944
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:35,000
We'll get into that.

945
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:38,000
So Joe Pesci, you little motherfucker, you.

946
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:46,000
Hey, Mark, why are you being so fucking shoot that kid in the fucking head?

947
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,000
Yeah.

948
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:51,000
So we get probably the best scene in the movie.

949
00:42:51,000 --> 00:43:01,000
And it's it's chasing down that Asian guy, throws the hammer, Asian guy falls, turns around, pulls a grenade out, pulls the pin.

950
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000
Santa takes the grenade.

951
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:11,000
No, you don't. Opens up the dude's pants, throws it down and starts to kind of run off, stops.

952
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:14,000
And then turns around and watches the guy get blown up.

953
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,000
He goes, oh, yeah, that's great.

954
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:24,000
His his little laugh that he has, which is just two ho ho's for most of the movie, we see it in the beginning.

955
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,000
Oh, like he's getting like it doesn't feel good.

956
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:33,000
And then like that we finally get at the end, like he says, the little girl gave him his ho ho ho back.

957
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:37,000
And it's because at the end he goes, oh, like he actually says, I think after killing John, the was on whatever.

958
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:42,000
But but yeah, I love the whole like that little little half laugh that he does.

959
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,000
Isn't the full throated Santa noise that you get it so cool.

960
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,000
It's his own interpretation.

961
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:52,000
The actor boyfriend trying to get the mom to donate money to his movie.

962
00:43:52,000 --> 00:44:00,000
That guy, when he when he jumps out the window and he runs away, it's like and he gets shot and there's like, well, looks like John Claude Van Dip shit.

963
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Yeah, I love that line. That was great.

964
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:16,000
I loved that whole scene, though. I like that he kicked the dude like he actually did some damage to the guy and then fucking pretty bad assly jumped through the window and then ran off.

965
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
I thought it was pretty cool, like pretty cowardly.

966
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,000
But I know. No, no, no, no.

967
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:25,000
I got worked right away. Listen, right now we're surrounded by Mercs.

968
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,000
I have the first opportunity to leave you guys behind to get help.

969
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000
I'm out. You're you're welcome.

970
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000
I'll do the damnedest to get here back as soon as I can.

971
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,000
I'll not I'm not going to forget you guys are being held hostage.

972
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:36,000
I got you guys back door.

973
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,000
I'll even go get some weapons and come back and try to do it myself.

974
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,000
I can't find help. But you want me to stay here?

975
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,000
You think it makes me more of a man to die with you?

976
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,000
You fucking kidding? No, you run out the first opportunity you had.

977
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,000
He's like, great moment. Kick run out the window.

978
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000
He dove through a fucking plate glass window.

979
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000
He's probably cut up the shit and he's like running out into the blood.

980
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,000
I thought it was bad ass. I thought I did a great job just because he's a little bit of a douchebag.

981
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000
He's a little bit of an airheaded actor.

982
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:08,000
People aren't allowed to have flaws. Austin not allowed to be just a fucking regular old guy like him.

983
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,000
And you get you get Chad.

984
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:19,000
Yeah, Kim giga Chad gig in debt. I think he's also he's from Twilight. He's one of these.

985
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,000
The bad vampire from the first Twilight.

986
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:26,000
He's the one that like Edward for some reason thinks Bella's the fucking tits.

987
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,000
You know, like he watched all the Twilights. Yeah.

988
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,000
I read them all too. Not the read.

989
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,000
I read the Twilights before the movies came out.

990
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:39,000
Someone had told me like, hey, here's a book about vampires, which I like.

991
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:42,000
And they're like, it's cool because they like they're like regular vampire.

992
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,000
They like play baseball and shit. And I was like, OK.

993
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,000
And I like and I read it. I was like, OK.

994
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:55,000
So it's a bit of a I don't like the whole romantic angle, which I feel like the movies hammer way harder than it is in the book.

995
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:59,000
The first book, at least. But honestly, the baseball scene was pretty cool.

996
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:07,000
Just thinking about vampires in a forest, being able to crack the ball, like run a half a mile to go catch it and like run super fast.

997
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:12,000
Like if you like watching a bunch of supermen playing like baseball, it'd be cool.

998
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:18,000
Like this witness freshman year at a girlfriend, all she cared about was Taylor Swift and Twilight.

999
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,000
And she sent me a copy of the book and I watched the movie.

1000
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,000
And then she quizzed me and totally figured out that I just watched the movie.

1001
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000
Yeah, there's differences.

1002
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,000
What do you think? Oh, great. I made that up.

1003
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,000
So I just like your ex girlfriend.

1004
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,000
Yeah. Well, the whole goes back all throughout this movie.

1005
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:39,000
That's what happens to this movie. He gets stronger throughout the movie.

1006
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:43,000
Well, the more people believe it, the more people believe in him, the stronger.

1007
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:48,000
The only way he's able to kill John Lucas at the end is because John was on the finally believes he's Santa Claus.

1008
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:52,000
And that's where he gets that final bit of magic, which I thought was fucking awesome.

1009
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,000
But one more thing that cat chat can take a chance.

1010
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000
It is he's the lead and never back down.

1011
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:04,000
So that's a really fun MMA high school movie where it's like a bunch of high school MMA kids start fighting each other.

1012
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
You like fighting movies. That's a fun one.

1013
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:14,000
Yeah. So I like Krampus. He's he's probably my favorite of the goons.

1014
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:21,000
That little girl murdered one punch with her traps or trapped way too.

1015
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:26,000
Way more realistic. How did she saw that board without anybody hearing?

1016
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,000
And like, how did she so expertly saw the board in half that it looked like indistinguishable?

1017
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:36,000
Well, because the because she had time that it was the attic door. So it was closed.

1018
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000
OK, so she was up there. She was doing that. And she hammered in a nail.

1019
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,000
Yeah. And he was like, oh, this is obvious. Like, look at this silly kid.

1020
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Wouldn't she have had to hammer the nail through the back up into it? So it came out the other end.

1021
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,000
Yeah, I don't know. I didn't quite that much thought into it.

1022
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,000
But it would have been watching a movie. Yeah.

1023
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:58,000
Yeah. It would have been facing up. So she would have hammered down. So that way, when it goes down, it's now up.

1024
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,000
Yeah. But how does she know that like like what glue?

1025
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:08,000
What glue? What glue substance is in there based in their attic that is so strong

1026
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:11,000
that it will stop a person walking on top of it?

1027
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:15,000
I've I've walked across wet tar before it was able to get across. No problem.

1028
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,000
The back of her skull. Are you kidding? What glue was that? Yeah.

1029
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:24,000
What glue will scalp somebody? Gorilla glue. Special movie glue. Gorilla glue.

1030
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:29,000
Do you think she found a bucket full of gorilla glue? Maybe.

1031
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,000
Gorilla glue is expensive. Well, OK, this is a rich house.

1032
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:35,000
Yeah. So maybe they did buy a bucket of gorilla glue. Fine.

1033
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:39,000
She found a bucket of gorilla glue and she spilled on the ground. The point is, who cares?

1034
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,000
No one but you in the entire world.

1035
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,000
He does that home alone, too. And they didn't even have gorilla glue back then.

1036
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,000
The point is, why did they have 10 bowling balls? Why?

1037
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:53,000
They're rich. They have a bowling alley in their house. We didn't see that part of the house.

1038
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:57,000
Oh, we didn't. You're right. And that could be because they were all in one of those

1039
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:03,000
one of those slidey metal things that bowling alleys have that make balls move fast.

1040
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:08,000
How did she her math at eight years old is maybe plus and minuses,

1041
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:13,000
not trajectory of bowling ball versus trampoline physics.

1042
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,000
She doesn't know. She doesn't know what it's like.

1043
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:22,000
I will. I will tell you this. I helped my granddaughter two days ago with math for her school.

1044
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:26,000
She was a college. She was a. Yeah.

1045
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000
It's the same math we did in college. It's not close anymore.

1046
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:37,000
I don't know how the hell they're doing it, but just wait till you're a little older and you see their math.

1047
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,000
It's in core math bullshit. No, it's just math.

1048
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:46,000
It's just like but it's like trigonometry in freaking third grade, fourth grade, fifth grade.

1049
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,000
It's hard. Or is it pre-algebra? No, trigonometry. It's more algebra.

1050
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:53,000
So maybe Jen Alpha knows their shit better. Maybe they don't.

1051
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,000
She's you know what? That makes perfect sense.

1052
00:49:55,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Angry Birds has been out since I went traveling across Europe when I was 22 years old.

1053
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:10,000
And if these kids have been born in a world like where Angry Birds 2 came out prior to their birth.

1054
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:15,000
And if you live in a world where your mom hands you a tablet to fuck around on and puts on like an Ingebert's

1055
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,000
and all you're doing is playing with trajectories.

1056
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:21,000
And how does the fucking pigs get down? Then yeah, okay. I'll buy that. Thanks, Mike.

1057
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,000
They're raised on baby Einstein.

1058
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,000
So you know what? I will erase that from Mike Petit's this movie.

1059
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:32,000
I think that due to the bowling alley that we didn't see in this rich person's house,

1060
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:39,000
the bucket full of Gorilla Glue and the trigonometry that this eight year old is taking at school.

1061
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:43,000
All totally believable. Have led to, yeah, fine.

1062
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:49,000
Oh, also when she sings Jingle Bells, she sings Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way.

1063
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:53,000
Oh, how fun it is to ride in a one or something.

1064
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:58,000
I was always brought up as Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way. Oh, what fun.

1065
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:03,000
Not oh, how much or oh, how fun. I was but oh, what fun it is.

1066
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:06,000
Did you go look it up? I'm actually surprised if you hadn't already looked this up.

1067
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,000
Oh, what fun. I didn't. It's one of those generous.

1068
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:13,000
It's one of those like every school had like some kind of rhyming thing.

1069
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:17,000
Yeah. And if it's a little off, who cares? It's always a little like the birthday song.

1070
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Andy, apparently. Apparently, it Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

1071
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:26,000
Bliftart, I'm sure you stand while in winter garden,

1072
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:29,000
going to the guns. Hey, you're way wrong, Andy.

1073
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,000
Translate to English. Oh, yeah.

1074
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:35,000
Yeah. No, no, no, no. No. Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

1075
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:41,000
Sleigh Ride in the snow through the white winter forest over the Frazee Lake,

1076
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Frozen Lake. Hey, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Pony Run Fast

1077
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:50,000
because on winter days it doesn't stay light for as long.

1078
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:53,000
So you absolutely got it completely wrong, Andy.

1079
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:57,000
Wait, save that tab. Yeah, it's like.

1080
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:01,000
Is that trademarked? Open a new tab and type Pornhub.

1081
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:06,000
You're not letting me wait. Hold on.

1082
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:11,000
There has to be. Oh, what fun.

1083
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,000
Oh, here we go. OK. Dashing through the snow.

1084
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle. Oh, what fun it is to ride.

1085
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:23,000
Yeah, there we go. So this fucking little bitch, this little bitch, Gertrude,

1086
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000
fucked up a song. Gertrude's a German name.

1087
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:30,000
She was singing in the original German. No, she was singing the original.

1088
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:34,000
It would sound a little bit like Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

1089
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,000
Slip Hard Fuck, I need Mike.

1090
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:41,000
Growing up, was there was there ever like you and your group of friends?

1091
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,000
There's always like porn in the woods. You guys find porn in the woods?

1092
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,000
Yeah, that was it. Why does everybody have a story of that?

1093
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,000
It was a thing. It's always in the apartment complex.

1094
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:53,000
We live. We go out in the woods just fucking around kids and you come across a box

1095
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,000
full of porn magazine. It was just weird. Yeah. My friends and I, we.

1096
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,000
Is that the government? I think it was the government.

1097
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:03,000
It's like they put crack in the inner city neighborhoods and they put porn in the woods.

1098
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:07,000
Little white boys get porn in the woods. Black kids get crack.

1099
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:12,000
It's the left agenda. It's the leftist agenda. They're trying to put porn in.

1100
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:15,000
It's like they can't. They're trying. You know, they're always trying to put porn

1101
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:19,000
in children's school, according to some people. This is how they start.

1102
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:24,000
They'll just put boxes of porn where they know children frequent and they'll just wait for them to buy it.

1103
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000
Is it the original I Have Two Mommies books? That's what.

1104
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:32,000
I literally there was an adult bookstore in a shopping center where there's a CVS

1105
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:36,000
and like a gun store or whatever. And it might even be a regular video store.

1106
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:42,000
But the alleyway, which is now gated off because we lit CVS on fire on accident.

1107
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,000
One one once one summer behind. We let some we put play.

1108
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:49,000
I think I've told us, but we put gasoline in a Play-Doh tin and then lit it on fire

1109
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,000
and kind of lit the building on fire. So we had to run away.

1110
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:54,000
And they put before a bunch of people died. Whatever.

1111
00:53:54,000 --> 00:54:02,000
Yeah, no big deal. But we found a box of VHS porno tapes and there was.

1112
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:08,000
And it was we went immediately to my friend's house and we put on use.

1113
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,000
He's black, so he picked the one with the black people.

1114
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:17,000
And we we watched his grand picture, a dwarf version of you hearing a big box.

1115
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,000
Still with the full beard. Still beard.

1116
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000
A little tiny Andy with a beard. And I'm just sitting there going, hey,

1117
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000
that's not very realistic. Yeah, exactly.

1118
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,000
That guy's dick is way too big.

1119
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:36,000
But that doesn't make sense. He's not even working on the plumbing.

1120
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:40,000
How's he going to fix a leak if all he's doing is fucking this bitch?

1121
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,000
He just left after fucking her. He never finished the job.

1122
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:51,000
She better not have paid him. That's not services services render.

1123
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,000
You know what? One day I'm going to be a pizza guy.

1124
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:58,000
What game are they playing on PS2? That doesn't make any sense.

1125
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,000
One day I'll be a pizza guy. Do it right.

1126
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:06,000
I won't fuck anyone. I'm sure they get their food on time.

1127
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,000
They're just mashing the buttons.

1128
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:15,000
I lived up to that promise, ladies and gentlemen.

1129
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:19,000
So we we get to the punch.

1130
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:22,000
People die. Punches shooting a lot of action. Some great.

1131
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:27,000
We get the reconnection of a translucent and his wife.

1132
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:30,000
They they bond over killing a dude.

1133
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:34,000
Oh, by the way, Trudy absolutely killed one punch man with her traps.

1134
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:37,000
Like he died. Like he fucking brutally died.

1135
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,000
She's going to go to therapy for that. She's going to go therapy for a lot of us.

1136
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,000
We decided to hold the nail up to its face. Look at it.

1137
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,000
I was I was stupid. They all got arrested after this.

1138
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:49,000
You're telling me Santa Claus came and killed all these people.

1139
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,000
Actually, that's not a that's not a bad.

1140
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,000
Well, I mean, they could totally blame it on mercenaries.

1141
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:58,000
They could be like, oh, mercenaries came in and my security team killed them.

1142
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:01,000
And they got mercenaries showed up and Santa Claus killed them all.

1143
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:05,000
No, they wouldn't say Santa Claus. She says, I have a security team.

1144
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000
They showed up and everyone died.

1145
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:11,000
It'd be easy to point out the bodies, be like, oh, the ones in the snow jackets

1146
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:15,000
that showed up as a team that I've been on my payroll. Those are my dudes.

1147
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,000
She just doesn't say that they betrayed her because she just sells them like like, OK.

1148
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:26,000
And you know what? The hellboy shows up and he picks up a piece of reindeer shit.

1149
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
So no, it wasn't mercenaries.

1150
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,000
I here's another problem I have.

1151
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:35,000
She has that personal security team that she has.

1152
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,000
There was about what? Twenty, thirty guys on it.

1153
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:44,000
Say you're on this you're on this team and you've been working for this.

1154
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:51,000
You've been working for this lady for years. Right. And she like your boss.

1155
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,000
All of a sudden, he brings you into the room.

1156
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:58,000
He said, by the way, guys, we're going to betray her and we're going to rob tonight.

1157
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,000
Like, I wouldn't agree to do that.

1158
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,000
Like, I mean, maybe they would kill you. Yeah, but Austin would.

1159
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,000
Three hundred million dollars. So then Austin kills you.

1160
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:13,000
You're no longer involved and he takes the rest of the team and goes, fuck, I hard to get a guy who was new.

1161
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,000
Yeah. The new guy they kill in the back of the van.

1162
00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:19,000
Yeah. Dark Knight. My orders was to kill the. Yeah.

1163
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000
But no, no, no. Here's here's what I would do.

1164
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
OK, great. That's the plan. Cool.

1165
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:28,000
I call her up the next day. I'm like, hey, I'm part of your personal security team.

1166
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:31,000
There's a plan to betray you. I'll do that.

1167
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,000
Like you want to pay me two million dollars. That's nothing to you.

1168
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:36,000
It sets my entire life up. I'm set for the rest of my life.

1169
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:40,000
I'll just move on and you don't get killed and you're protected.

1170
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,000
And she's like, oh, thank you so much. I'll make sure you never have to work again.

1171
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:47,000
Boom. That's it. Another thing where you just like be smart.

1172
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Don't just randomly show up to rob someone.

1173
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:53,000
Now you have to move to a different country because you're a wanted only problem with all your theories.

1174
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:59,000
And philosophies on all these things is that they eliminate the actual movie.

1175
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:06,000
Yeah. My goal is to make movies not need to have happened.

1176
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:12,000
If I can stop a movie from having to have happened, I've done my job correctly.

1177
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:17,000
I think translucent was an idiot for telling his mom that he's stealing three hundred dollars, three hundred million.

1178
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:21,000
He should just take it. He should have showed up and taken the money and left immediately.

1179
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:26,000
He didn't have to have some vindictive last hurrah or whatever. Like that was stupid.

1180
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:33,000
But anyway, we get the the final fight between Liguzamo and Scrooge and Santa.

1181
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,000
Fucking love is a cool fight.

1182
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:41,000
But we get the best, maybe the best kill in any movie of all time.

1183
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:46,000
And it's him holding on to it and do it finally, getting that magic to work.

1184
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,000
Well, not finally. He used it twice in the movie.

1185
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:51,000
He used it to get away from somebody earlier.

1186
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:55,000
But yeah, he fucking does that and comes out the chip.

1187
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:02,000
You see John Liguzamo's body just pieces. Oh, so fucking good.

1188
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:08,000
And I wrote down that, yeah, it's the fact that John Liguzamo, it's like you really are Santa.

1189
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:13,000
And it's like it's got to believe your boom kills him. Fucking awesome.

1190
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,000
Those are my notes. I give the B plus. It's my favorite.

1191
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:19,000
One of my absolute favorite Christmas. Yeah, let's let's rate this movie.

1192
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:24,000
Oh, what is the movie? We're going to rate the movie.

1193
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:29,000
Put it in your fucking pants. I got to watch. What is that?

1194
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,000
It's a grenade, Andy. But a hand grenade.

1195
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:35,000
That's not real. Why are you asking silly questions?

1196
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:40,000
I want to play with it. Don't pull the pin on it.

1197
00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:45,000
Seriously, don't. What do you rate the movie?

1198
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:49,000
The B plus. All right. I want to pull that pin so fucking bad.

1199
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:53,000
Mike, what do you rate the movie?

1200
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:58,000
Well, since this is a Christmas special, we're supposed to rate it an upwards of four and a half out of five.

1201
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Oh, yeah, we're doing that. So B plus also.

1202
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:08,000
I give it a five out of five droplets of vomit on a bartender's fix.

1203
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:15,000
I'm going to give it five out of five bowling balls.

1204
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:19,000
You got what you said? Four point five, Mike. Four point five nails to the head.

1205
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:26,000
That's the head. I give it a five out of five decapitating with figure skates.

1206
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:31,000
But I do think this is this is a movie that was so good, it's deserving of its own lettering.

1207
01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:35,000
I think we should come. I don't come up with anything, but I think we should come up with something.

1208
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,000
Fuck yeah. How about that? Good of a movie. No, it's great.

1209
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:40,000
It's an every year watch.

1210
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:43,000
Yeah. My biggest critique is that I rented it instead of buying it.

1211
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,000
Or my biggest regret, I guess, is that I didn't buy it.

1212
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:48,000
It comes on every year, though. Yeah. It'll be on.

1213
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:51,000
It'll be on another. We just had it. We had a month left.

1214
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,000
OK, it'll come out November. Yeah.

1215
01:00:53,000 --> 01:01:00,000
What would be a good special letter for Christmas?

1216
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:05,000
S for Santa. And S tier.

1217
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:09,000
S tier. No, but we already have an S. Nothing can replace steel.

1218
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:13,000
True. True. You have to make a new letter.

1219
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:16,000
And if you think for a one. OK, a K for Chris.

1220
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:19,000
What was his Warhammer's name? Skullcrusher.

1221
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:23,000
I was thinking of a J for jingle bells. OK.

1222
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,000
S.S. Santa's Skullcrusher.

1223
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:30,000
No, we're not calling anything S.S. for obvious reasons.

1224
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:33,000
Michael.

1225
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:38,000
Like Nazi. What are you, that one black guy on a porn site 10 years ago?

1226
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:40,000
Are you some sort of black Nazi?

1227
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:45,000
Especially since Andy was singing jingle bells in German earlier.

1228
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:49,000
I was.

1229
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:55,000
OK, we'll come up with you know what? How about X for Xmas?

1230
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000
No, I thought about that too. And porno.

1231
01:01:57,000 --> 01:02:00,000
I'm saving the X for a special occasion.

1232
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:05,000
And Mike's closer with the second comment on that one.

1233
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:10,000
I would say this gets three.

1234
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:14,000
Have we given anything an A? No, this gets a ho, ho, ho.

1235
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:17,000
There you go. That's it's great. It's a ho, ho, ho.

1236
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,000
No, three. That's just it. Triple H.

1237
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:23,000
No, just how about ho, ho, that's it's great.

1238
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000
Violent Knight gets a ho, ho, ho from us.

1239
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,000
We love it.

1240
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:29,000
Four out of five, five out of five hoes.

1241
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:32,000
Five out of five hoes. Five out of five.

1242
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,000
So we did it. We love it. So good.

1243
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,000
If you haven't watched it, check it out.

1244
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:43,000
This is going to be one of two, I believe, of our more adult, more violent episodes.

1245
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:48,000
So if this was your thing, look forward to us doing Fat Man.

1246
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:52,000
But the other ones are going to be a little bit more just regular old Christmas specials.

1247
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000
We'll find a way to make them horrible. Don't worry.

1248
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:58,000
Yeah, trust me. We'll visit Pornhub every episode.

1249
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:02,000
So with me as always, it is Austin Frostyferrel.

1250
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:03,000
Ho, ho, ho.

1251
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:07,000
With me as always, it is Michael Rudolph Larson.

1252
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,000
Merry Christmas, everyone.

1253
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:11,000
With us as always is Brennan.

1254
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:14,000
Jingle bells, jingle bells.

1255
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:17,000
Schlifarthen, I'm Sheen.

1256
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,000
Shipley up to Boston.

1257
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,000
All you have to do is believe we're here, Andy.

1258
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,000
Oh, shit. And I'm your...

1259
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:25,000
Getting good at that.

1260
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:26,000
I know he really is.

1261
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,000
And I'm Andy Chris Kringle Rice.

1262
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:33,000
And this has been the very first night of a very fun eight crazy nights of Christmas.

1263
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:35,000
Join us tomorrow. We'll see you there.

1264
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:44,000
Merry Christmas.

1265
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:50,000
It's a fried rice Christmas and I've invited everyone.

1266
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:57,000
Grab a pipe, a bong, a joint and all have ourselves some fun.

1267
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:03,000
It's a fried rice Christmas and Andy's really high.

1268
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,000
He's gonna go on a tangent soon.

1269
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:10,000
The guys are standing by.

1270
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:13,000
It's a fried rice Christmas.

1271
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,000
Let's all smoke some pot.

1272
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:20,000
We love all of our listeners.

1273
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:23,000
You all mean a lot.

1274
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:26,000
It's a fried rice Christmas.

1275
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:29,000
Ho, ho, ho.

1276
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:32,000
Ho, ho, ho.

1277
01:04:32,000 --> 01:04:37,000
Ho, ho, ho.