It's a fried rice Christmas. Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho again and Merry Christmas and welcome to one of another episode of 8 Crazy Nights of Christmas.
I'm your host, Andy Rice. This is Fried Rice Podcast. Let's get fried with me as always.
It is Brennan. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. His name is Brennan and he likes to say
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
Shipley up to Boston. Ho ho ho. I love it.
With me as always is my favorite of my elves. It is Michael. He's 10,000 years old but he only looks like he's in his early 60s.
I'm a little bit of a
Larson. Happy holidays, everyone.
And this, of course, is another fun
Christmassy episode where we're all in light fun,
teasing mood. Welcome. I'm your waffle
bot. Let's talk about Harold and Kumar
3D Christmas. Or is it the very Harold
and Kumar Christmas? Because I think there's
two different names. I think there's
three different names. Oh, shit. Okay.
And then a very Harold and Kumar Christmas
and then a Harold and Kumar 3D
Christmas. So is there a version that
isn't 3D then? There is not. Okay. I wish
there was. I think when they put it on TV
or whatever, they just called it 3D. Yeah.
My only complaint in this entire movie
that's a real complaint is the 3D. Yeah,
mine too. It's really like the only
movie that I think can get away with
they were fucking around with 3D
technology and doing the gimmick
stuff was Jackass 3D. I think that
got away with it in this had we seen it
in theaters in 3D. I saw it in theaters.
I did too. Yeah. I saw it in theaters
for sure. Yeah, I did not. At the moment,
yeah, but I am. But you get now, yeah,
it's weird when you say 3D. I used to
specifically for the 3D and they would
call it out. Yeah. See, I enjoyed it.
Like, even though we weren't watching it
in 3D, I was like, well, it's kind of
nice to see like a movie using 3D
technology the way it's meant to be used.
Things popping out at you like for fun,
like versus just showing depth. Yeah.
When I was when I was a child, I think
it was must have been Knott's or Six Flags.
One of those two amusement parks in
California or Disney. I don't think it
was Disney because this had more extreme
rides. This had like loopy loops and
stuff. So it had to be one of those two.
But there was a when I was a child child.
So this is early 90s. There was a
3D theater where I just remember it was
a beach scene and someone threw a frisbee
out and it looked like the frisbee went
over our heads. And when I saw that ever
since that moment as a kid, I've been
obsessed with the idea of 3D. And so I
typically go watch 3D. I go watch the 3D
version. I've jumped off of that a little
bit lately. Sometimes a Marvel movie
isn't worth watching in 3D because
there's too much shit going on. Do they
still have 3D theaters? Yeah. Do they?
Well they do 3D in some, in most of the
movies. Like AMC's and stuff in California.
No they do it here. I didn't know they
did it here. But the problem is I think
the movie has to be worth it. So like
Avatar number two I bet had 3D and it
would have been worth checking out. I
still haven't watched that one. The
reason I bought an Oculus Rift was to,
or I think I got the two. Because the
three's out. I should have watched this
on Oculus with 3D. Yeah. Oh yeah. That
would have been the way to do it. Yeah.
I do that for all 3D movies. Oh that's
smart. So like I haven't watched Dune
yet but I have Dune 3D that I'm going to
watch on my Oculus. And the way I do with
my Oculus is I put my good headphones on
and I go full immersive and I lay down
on the couch or on the bed or whatever
and I just watch. And it's, because like
I was saying I've been obsessed with
3D so it's been like, I had the, ever
since I found out that we could do VR
with our phones. I had VR, that thing
where you'd strap up your phone as your
VR. The same thing kind of looked like
an Oculus but it just didn't have
controllers or whatever. You get 3D
that way. I was watching Avatar in 3D
on that. I love, that's I think to this
day the best way to watch 3D is with VR.
Because you, it's without, it's like,
It's so immersive. It's so 3D. Like I
watched Avatar a few times, right? Quite
a few times with the 3D. The first one
at least, I haven't seen the second one
yet but I have a 3D version of that that
I bought. And so I haven't watched it yet
but I've been waiting. Just like Dune.
And I'm waiting for Dune 2 to do both
back to back. But yeah, I love 3D. So
that being said, those movies hold up
without 3D. The 3D enhances an already
good movie. This relies on it as a
gimmick and they use it as a joke.
I mean you can still look past it though.
Oh for sure. It doesn't take me out of
the moment. It's just like, I guess when
you see the eggs flying at the screen,
it's just you're a little bit like,
I wish I could see that the way it was
intended is what I thought. I was like,
I wish I would have been in 3D.
There's other movies I can't think of
right now that did, like I can think of
some Nickelodeon movies I feel like that
got their hands on a 3D camera that
just like, I kept throwing stuff at the
screen. It felt a little bit like that.
That's my, like really my most nitpicky
thing is like it doesn't, it takes away
from the leg, like the ongoing, like if
someone a hundred years from now who
doesn't, who wouldn't understand the,
like why 3D would be such a gimmick to
do that. Why do they want things coming
at them? It doesn't hold up as like if
you watched The Godfather a hundred
years from now, it's still The Godfather.
If you watched Harold and Kumar, one,
a hundred years from now, it's still a
stoner pothead movie. But this one is
just, it'd be like, that's some strange
choices that they're making. Is all I'm
saying. Legacy wise, it doesn't hold up
as well. But my first note is I want a
Waffle Bot. And I, I want a Waffle Bot
so fucking bad. I'll say this right now
that I paused it on the commercial. The
fine print for the Waffle Bot commercial
on the bottom says, Waffle Bot hates
pancakes. Waffle Bot Incorporated is not
responsible for sentient actions referred
but not limited to the Waffle Bot end user
agreement. And I'm like, holy shit, this
is great. So it's, it's already like,
we're not responsible if this thing goes
sentient. That's awesome. Fucking love it.
I want Christmas Wheat. Yeah, the
Patton Oswalt. Is that Patton Oswalt?
Yeah. Right when I heard the voice, I knew
it was Patton Oswalt. That was a funny
Christmas scene. It's a Weederful Life.
Here's the thing. It was a great strain
name. You know what I don't like? And I
know this is, this is, you're, you're
gonna think after, if you listen to our
Aliens vs Predator episode, which I'm sure
Mike brings up all the time since then,
is, is that I'm okay with, with kids
getting killed on screen as long as it's
like realistic. What I'm not okay with
in this movie is Kumar, or Kumar saying
that sexual stuff while he was on Santa's
lap in front of all those kids. That was
inappropriate. You don't do that. Like, I,
I'm okay with, like, violence. Like, they
can see someone, they, like, if a kid saw
a street fight. He's a true American,
isn't he? No, no. Goddamn, cut, chop their head
off. That's okay, but don't show a booby.
That's, that's America. Yeah. No, actually,
actually, no, that's untrue. I'm way
better with a kid seeing a boob than
seeing a head chopped off. But I'm
better with, like, a kid seeing a fist
fight that maybe ends a little bloody,
but like, you know, just like a fist fight,
like, violence, just violence between two
people, then having Kumar, a grown man,
being like, you can ride Santa's dick
later. Like, that puts shit into, that
puts shit into the kid's head that
doesn't need to be there. That perverts,
like, that perverts innocence. Whereas a
fight is just something that happens in
nature. I find that more, more, more
perver, I find the, the blood in fighting
more perversion of innocence than I do
sex. That's just me. Yeah. I don't know.
I just felt it was inappropriate. Well,
regardless. It is. They're both
levels. Regardless, Kumar shouldn't
have said that. I think it's just showing
that Kumar hasn't changed. Like, he's
still the same. That's their point. Their point is that he's a kid
still. Yeah. Yeah, but even,
even then, there's a better,
better choice in front of kids. Maybe
he, like, he could have saved that
for when we were alone. I like how that's
your problem in not giving the kid cocaine.
That one, that's, that's fine.
Actually, every, every,
no, you wanna. He said my biggest problem
with this movie is him saying that stuff.
Usually giving the kid cocaine, though,
and hot-boxing the kid is not a problem.
There's about three notes on here. I was like, fuck yeah,
let's get that kid high.
I was like, cocaine, fuck yeah, let's go.
I, that's my, one of my favorite
parts is the kid getting high. But you see
the juxtaposition, that's all.
Because here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Actual harm is okay. In this,
no, in this world,
she's gonna be okay. We know this.
Like, we, we just know
that in this, in this world, this,
this kid, she makes it out okay. She's a
supernatural being. We'll get to that.
She ends up raving, so
at the Christmas party.
She climbs on the fucking ceiling
and another character who's,
who's not on drugs
points out that she's
a supernatural being. So
listen, that's the spawn of the fucking
devil. And if the spawn of the fucking
devil wants to ride the white lightning,
then let her. Bro, I don't wanna
get in the fucking way. She took on the
most notorious and feared man in New York
and lived to tell the tale. All while
then fucking scoring some E and dancing
to a rave party after. She's the
most badass character in movie history.
At age one or two,
she's, she defeats,
she did what, what Spiderman took,
how long did it take Spiderman and Daredevil
to take down Kingpin? She
does it in one night, high on
cocaine, first night, Christmas Eve.
It's a Christmas miracle. I loved it.
Bobby Lee. Oh, that's great.
I loved the cameos. Very funny.
Was he not in Two and One?
He was in One. He was in One. I don't know if he was
in Two. I think he was.
No, I think he was. Two was Amsterdam.
Yeah, Two was, Two was somewhere else. No, Two
was not Amsterdam. Two was
Guantanamo Bay. Guantanamo Bay.
Oh, God, I haven't seen
Two in a while. That's been a minute. One
I've seen a lot.
But I love Bobby Lee. He was very funny
in this. And he takes all the things.
And then I put, these 3D gimmicks are lame as fuck.
I did write that down.
When they jump into the
car, I understand that people
are throwing eggs. I even understand that someone
stands up on the car and pisses on it.
Where did the guy get a handful of shit?
He pooped in his hand.
That was pretty extreme. That wouldn't
happen in a real life situation. Oh, no kidding.
People have done that in real life. The rest of this
movie is so realistic. That
particular thing. Haven't you ever seen the video of
the girl shitting in Tim Hortons and throwing it at
the worker? Oh, Jesus. Like, just
dropping a turd, picking it up,
throwing it. It does happen.
Yeah. She had never been to the zoo?
Well, I know monkeys do it, but
we're not monkeys.
Or the one where the guy's walking in the store and he all of a sudden
steps in shit that fell out of the girl's dress
in front of him. There's a lot of nasty
videos like that. It's like, yeah,
that's why I look down when I walk in stores.
Geez.
It's affected you forever.
Especially out here, dude. Yeah.
Walking to a bullhead in
Walmart, Arizona.
You might walk into that shit.
So,
I like it. So then we get the
nerdy kid from
is he from Sex Drive?
No. What's he from?
What's he from? I don't know if he's from
anything. He is. That nerdy kid,
he's been in some stuff.
Please look that up.
It's kind of like Makeshift McLovin almost.
Yeah, but he's been in a few things
that I, he's funny in them.
He's not in Greek.
He's not in a, well,
he's something. And,
you let me know. But when he asks
Kumar. Oh, wait.
I think I know what he's
He's, he is on
Celebrity
3rd one?
That's good.
A show called Jake and Amir?
Jake and Amir. Oh, holy shit. Yeah.
Okay. Cool. I'm good. I don't know
exactly. I don't know. That's all I needed to know.
That's pretty much it. Yeah. Here's the, so,
okay, I'll give you some backstory of Jake and Amir.
It is
one of the best prank
wars that's ever existed.
So Jake and Amir,
it opens innocent
as fuck. It's Amir,
or he's, I think he's Jake. No, he's Amir.
He's Amir. So Amir,
he listens to the same song
every day at lunch. So,
this dude, what he does is he
gets a song, and in the middle
of it, he just puts
30, 20 seconds of whatever,
of hardcore porn
noises. Of like, just the song
stops, and it's just people fucking
real hard. And then,
he, and then the song continues. And he
goes on the dude's iPod, replaces
the song, does all the shit he needs to,
so that when the, and then he records Amir
sitting down, and listening to the song,
the guy's like,
and then like, then starts
fucking, he just stops for a second, and it's like,
you can see his brain, like,
frying a little bit, and then the song continues.
Really subtle, good joke,
right? Or like, good prank.
It escalates,
really
badly. Like, I think he gets him
back by going up to
the audience before Jake is about
to perform stand-up, and telling him to
not laugh at a single thing
he does. And they
take it to like, the next level by
booing him, and like,
calling him out and shit, and like, he has one of the worst
sets ever, and that was like a follow-up.
But the best one, is,
I think one of the best ones, is
to get him back,
they go to a basketball game, and Amir
wins, he goes to the bathroom,
and when he goes to the bathroom,
Jake comes out, gets the whole stadium, he's like,
listen, when my friend
gets back, we're gonna call
this half-court, million dollar shot,
and no matter what happens,
I need you guys to cheer, as if
he wins, because it's a blindfold one.
So Amir gets
chosen, he goes down, he gets
blindfolded, he throws the ball,
misses like, crazy,
everyone cheers as if he wins,
he takes the blindfold off, everyone's like confirming
that he wins, the million dollar check is
coming out, his whole life is
changing, he's crying, he's
shaking, it's just, whole fucking
life is just like,
the mascot
takes off his head, and it's Jake.
And when he sees it, you just, you see everything
crumble.
Oh, and he gets him back, I mean
it keeps going, like, so if you're,
I know I ruined a little bit of it, but. So it's like a YouTube
series or anything? YouTube series, it's from College
Humor before they did, before, back in the
old days of College Humor, so before
Dropout College Humor,
like the Dropout TV College Humor,
that's what they've become. Cause there was like two,
there was like a Comedy Central show that was
kinda like this too, wasn't there, it was like two English guys?
I thought.
Well these guys aren't English, these dudes are American.
Yeah, but they. I don't know, what, did they prank
each other? They did pranks, it was like,
Oh! Is it Ed and Eddie?
No, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Yeah, it was like two names. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like Ed and Eddie, kinda. Yeah, it's not, oh
Jesus, now they're saying Ed and Eddie. Blank versus
Blank, or? Oh, Kenny versus
Spenny. That's it, Kenny and Spenny.
Kenny versus Spenny, that's what it was.
That show was pretty funny, that was kinda like this, wasn't it?
Kinda like that, yeah, but this was
a YouTube thing, so I highly
recommend it, highly recommend looking up
Jake and Amir Prank War on YouTube,
watch all those, they're fairly short,
they're usually about five minutes,
there's about six of them, and they're very
funny, seeing it happen.
God, I don't wanna keep ruining them.
So,
we, oh yeah,
so Amir asks
Kumar, he's like, hey, do you wanna
go to this party? And he's like,
no, no can do, I have to stay high,
I have to stay here and smoke the sweet or else I won't get high.
And I like that response,
it's so good, I love it.
Waffle Bot, fine print.
The
I'm pregnant scene, okay, this is a little
nippy, why is it always
like so
high octane, like the emotions?
So, I get it.
You mean a female who's pregnant,
why is it so high octane? Cause it's
the most realistic thing about it.
I was like, that is
the scene in this movie, oh, this is
real. Let me explain.
I think that she
probably didn't just find out she's pregnant.
I don't think that she's coming to Kumar
on day one.
No, probably day three, five, four,
maybe she's known for a week or two, maybe she's finding out her way
to talk to him. She's had time to process.
I could tell you exactly how I process
when my wife first told me she was pregnant.
When we were still dating,
pregnant with our first child.
She told me, and I was just like,
I'm going to go outside for a second.
And just kind of process this.
I'm going to go smoke,
probably my last bowl for a while.
And a cigarette.
And process this and I'll be back in in a minute.
I went outside and that's what I did.
And she came out and we were talking
and I was like, okay.
And then reality set in.
And it's like, alright, well, yeah.
But if you were as high as he was.
You're watching Christmas Storywall.
That's my point though.
She knows who he is.
She dated him for a long time.
She knows that he's a super.
I knew you would be this way.
Exactly. So why the fuck is she getting all upset?
That's my point.
Do you know any women, Andy?
I know.
Hormones.
Hormones are a bitch.
But I have more respect for her as a person.
That's what I'm saying.
I feel like she has time to process.
She shows up. She knows she's going to talk to her.
She's going to get some stone out of her mind ex-boyfriend.
But she's also like three,
she's supposed to be like three months pregnant
because she's been gone for three months.
By that point, you're past your first try.
You're in your second trimester.
Your hormones are all over the place.
But all he did was get distracted by the TV.
When she was telling him a big life changing thing.
Hey, we're having a kid together.
Andy, I've seen you react first to me
if I look down at my tablet for two seconds.
What are you talking about?
Are you pregnant?
All I'm saying
is that
if I were to
if I had a partner
I would hope
that they would know
how, like they would have an idea
of my reaction to being like
of this kind of news.
Like if I were a Kumar
and I was that disrespectful all the fucking time
No, but I'm not.
I'm more destructive, I think.
My wife still brings up the fact
that the first thing I did was go outside
and process it.
So, yeah.
So she didn't like that at all.
They don't like that at all.
They don't like that you're not paying attention to them.
That sounded super reasonable to me
when you were saying it.
I did it very reasonably, but she didn't like it.
It is reasonable to us.
Reasonable to us and reasonable to them
are not the same thing.
I mean, I was like,
I don't know what was going on inside of my head,
but inside my head was fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Right, there's nothing really going on in our head
most of the time.
How am I going to, I will never financially recover.
The question they like to ask you is what are you thinking?
And I'm like, nothing.
I'm not thinking anything.
I'm in my nothing box right now.
I guess what I'm saying is this.
If I were to walk up to somebody
that I know very well has tendencies to do something.
If I were to walk up to Batman,
that the Joker currently is robbing a bank,
I suspect Batman would then immediately go fuck off
and go fight Joker, correct?
If I go to Kumar and tell him that I'm pregnant,
I'm assuming that he's going to be too high,
going to get distracted by the TV.
So then why am I going to ramp my anger up to a fucking 11
and attack him?
I get that you're saying hormones and I get that.
And so then fine.
If we're just going to chalk it up to women be women
and hormones and shit, then fine, I guess.
She's three months in.
She knows what's up.
She fucking had like time to think about this.
I think she's smart enough.
She's been proven smart enough in the other movies
to be able to handle this.
Even at the end, she like is pretty cool with like,
you know, Kumar just still smoke weed and shit.
I just it just didn't add up.
It felt like an artificial.
I think it also usually does.
It also could be like, you know,
showing kind of the downfall of their relationship
from the get go is like this is kind of just who he was
and what he was doing.
She even actually kind of says, yeah, she's like, you're not growing.
You're not growing.
That's a hard thing for a woman that loves you to see you not grow.
Oh, trust me.
That's every I think every woman that's ever looked at.
Shout out to anyone who's ever dated me
and has not seen any growth or change.
This podcast is proof of proof of growth.
No, it's not.
This is this is this is a minor drop in the bucket of what
you're growing weekly, Andy.
Yeah.
And I need to be losing weight.
Thanks for pointing out.
I thought it was just winter weight.
Yeah, it is.
Just started.
My last line was just sure that was helpful there.
We're ready.
We're ready. It's OK.
Just accept the I put just accept the human being in front of you
is who they are is what I was saying to her basically.
I feel like she just I don't see that feeling.
I'm just saying realistically, it's
even I just even then
those who've lived it, trust me, it was very normal interaction.
It's just I wasn't put off by it.
OK, I just feel like this isn't the first time they've had this fight
or they don't have this fight.
It's definitely not the first time and not the last time.
Or they don't have this fight.
It's like, no, but the thing is, she fight the rest of their life
that long choice, but they just don't.
What they try and change is that's what they do.
Statistically, people lose half their
statistically, people lose half their friends every seven years.
That's a scary statistic.
And I kind of I'm thinking back. It's kind of close.
Close. Yeah. You lose a bunch of friends all the time.
And then when Kumar shaves, I was like, I like the beard.
So sad. Yeah.
Well, we hear machetes backstory of the tree.
Love the super funny.
And he killed his mom and fucking those so funny.
And then, oh, there's a super weird editing choice that I picked up on,
like a weird, I think dropped scene.
So when they're at the tree and you have like the big tiny Tim,
I guess was supposed to be the big Latino Latino gangster guy.
You know what I'm talking about?
The one with the crutches. Right.
Supposed to be tiny Tim.
And I didn't say it, but like, you know,
but then there's the guy with the fucked up eyes.
My eyes are fucked up.
He says, I didn't see nothing to my eyes are fucked up.
And so when he says that, he says, I didn't see nothing.
My eyes are fucked up.
And then he goes, it cuts away.
And he goes, and machete says something, a day trail.
And then when it cuts back for the rest of the time that he's in the
background, he's holding his, he's holding the side of his face.
Like you just got hit.
And then at the very end,
he looks up kind of afraid wall holding the side of his face.
Like he's going to get hit again.
So what I think happened,
I think Danny trail's character smacked them and they cut it out.
But the scene after he had too good of a take after.
I thought no one would fucking notice because what we beat all too
high.
Well, sometimes that gives me superpowers to notice even more shit,
Harold and Kumar.
So, uh, I love that he,
they brought the whole family with them to the Christmas.
Yeah, that was fucked up.
That was very, uh, Christmas vacation.
Yeah.
But, uh, I like the, just the, the tree being so important.
Then when we get them together, I like that it's, it's awkward at first.
It's bitter.
But, uh, the joint really does bring them together.
Like the tree on fire.
Great.
I like the Christmas wrapping paper.
Fucking window that he made, which wouldn't hold up.
It walks up and says,
He's like stained glass, but, uh, different.
Uh,
So, uh,
What's that?
Uh, getting the kid high.
Smoking.
We start with weed, which is great.
I do have issues with the kid.
Now.
I did have issues. I put like, how does the kid know what munchies are?
How does the kid like know this word?
Like it's a child.
How would they know what munchies are related to being high?
Like she says, I want munchies.
That's not something you say unless you know that munchies is a thing that high people call eating food.
Unless she was really talking about the brand of chips that have a little bit of everything in it.
You know, like the pretzels or the chino.
She more likely would be like, I want chicken nuggies.
Yeah, exactly.
I want a happy.
I want nuggets.
Uh, but.
So I did have issues with her having too much adult knowledge, but she's literally, literally the spawn of fucking safety.
She loved Wu-Tang Clan.
She loves, yeah, no one I'm fucked with.
But, uh, Santa being real proves supernatural.
Actually, the cheetah, them riding the cheetah in the first movie was proof of supernatural stuff.
And the Neil Patrick Harris coming back from life, going up to heaven and coming back proves heaven is real.
So I think that, yeah, that's my whole fucking thing.
The best thing I've ever seen is Neil Patrick Harris snorting cocaine off a stripper dressed as an elf.
Oh, yeah, dude.
The whole that he faked being gay with his actual husband.
That was his real husband.
When he fakes being gay to hook up with chicks.
Neil Patrick Harris in this is amazing.
He's just amazing.
This is what brought back his career.
The first Harold and Kumar made him the I think got him the role of Barney Stimson in How I Met Your Mother.
When he got that and then he by that point, I think during How I Met Your Mother or right after Harold and Kumar, he came out as gay or maybe right before.
Somewhere.
But it was around then.
Yeah.
And then I think he became like a like a gay icon, gay hero.
And also How I Met Your Mother led us to Copacay.
How?
By his obsession with the main bad guy as the good guy of the movie.
Oh, it was Barney Stinson's take.
Well, it was really the writers, I guess, that of How I Met Your Mother.
Did you write on that show?
Why?
That's actually one of your takes.
It's like you.
Yeah, it would be like if I had a show by the end of this, we'd have a well, actually, shit.
They're Disney's making it.
It's called Mufasa and it's about a sympathetic scar.
It's right.
Which is my whole fucking thing since the beginning of time has been has been like, I think scar gets a bad rap.
Oh, that's adorable.
It's a picture of his kids wearing a Captain America helmet and then a Minecraft hat.
Is that their Halloween outfit?
I guess.
She went to five and below for him.
He's going to be a creeper from Minecraft?
Yeah.
Is that one of the ones that explode?
Yes.
Is that what he's wearing?
That's what he's wearing.
Oh, yeah.
You see the real it actually does explode.
Is that it?
Yeah.
Well, in the game.
In the game or the.
No, in real life.
She just bought him an exploding head.
Exploding head.
Michael, I don't know where you think condoning actual child death is funny.
This is something we don't fuck around and talk around with.
This is a real child that we really know.
It's breaded son.
I want you to apologize.
This episode already aired.
The episode already aired.
No, that's in a movie.
That's with aliens and shit running around.
This is real life, Michael.
This is someone that we love vicariously through bread.
I didn't buy it.
It's like a baby.
I don't know.
I went to Thanksgiving with this family.
I spent quality time with these kids.
I played with the bluey doll and they loved me for a few minutes.
They won't remember who I am if they saw me.
It's funny.
Yesterday, before going to work, they both pulled out their costumes from last year and
wanted to wear them.
So, my five year old was in his full Iron Man costume with his mask and my youngest was
in his full Batman costume with his mask.
He was walking and I was like, Reese, what are you doing?
He's like, no daddy, I'm Batman.
I'm Batman.
He's a boy.
All day.
Come on, let's go.
I guess, yeah, it's October 12th.
Early October.
You can do that.
That's fun.
When that happened.
It's Christmas time, though.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Last year, they were wearing those costumes all year.
Afterwards, they just wanted to wear them constantly.
It's pretty fun.
It's fun.
It's hilarious.
I told the kids, I'm going to be a
good dad, I'm going to be a good dad.
I told them that you work at the White House.
And Kumar going, who would believe that?
Very funny because he worked at the White House, the actor.
He was also in House.
That's when he left House to go work in the White House.
Yes, he left House to go to the White House.
And they did him dirty in House.
I think he killed himself.
I don't remember what his write-off was.
I think his write-off was, they did him dirty.
He killed himself and they had to deal with that.
The other interns or the other people that were his new.
He was part of the newer House team that came in.
He was on for a couple years.
What did he do when he worked at the White House?
He was a court.
I don't know what his job was.
He was like in this, not speech writing, but in that kind of
of a...
He had a job, though.
It was like a legit job.
Was it under Obama?
Yes.
Under Obama.
I think maybe all eight years of Obama.
Oh, wow.
But, yeah, I mean, that was like...
And then I think after that he probably agreed to do a
heroin kumar.
And he did get fat.
He got put on some weight.
He got comfortable.
Yeah, working at the White House.
Comfortable in life.
I guess.
It's not a stressful life at all.
The claymation scene.
Absolutely top notch, super fun.
Love it.
The plan.
I loved before the claymation scene when they're like, I think
the kids put something in that drink, either drugs or kum.
And he's like, not kum.
Yeah.
That whole party scene was fun.
I think even the beer pong trick was kind of stupid, but fun.
Bounces it off everything.
The roll-de-roll?
Yeah.
I also think Amir realizing, made about to get fucked, that
her dad's the most feared.
And that's a really fun...
Are you going soft on me?
Fun montage of the dad killing everyone.
She's like, you're going to fuck me.
And she's pulling out his dick.
And it leads to her trying to rape them, which is very funny.
It's like, no, he's single.
You can fuck him.
And he's like, yeah.
But the plan that they make, which is like, well, here's the
plan of getting inside.
It's like, you'll distract him.
We'll get the altar boy with a pillow.
Come on.
It's an altar boy pillow.
And it cuts to the priest just running down a hallway after.
That whole fucking montage was brilliant.
Because it really ramps up towards the end here.
It's like getting the kid high, them hiding when she gets like
coked up and becomes the Antichrist and starts running
around.
The claymation's great.
The plan is great.
Then we get Neil Patrick Harris, which is the highlight of the
movie, that whole fucking part.
He helps them out.
He's cool.
Then we get them getting caught.
We have the torture, well, the would-be torture scene.
I like that they resolve those dude's friendships.
And then they turn on them, and it's like, great.
But you're going to have to kill your person.
And Wafflebot saves the day.
Wafflebot loves Kumar.
These guys hate Waffle.
These guys hate, well, they love pancakes.
Wafflebot hates pancakes.
He fucks them up.
The dick getting stuck to the pole.
Fucking hilarious.
So good.
The fact that they set that up in the opening scenes of the
movie with the tongue on the pole, perfect.
Super good.
That was great.
I've seen this in a movie once.
You're lost, and he shoots a shotgun up in the air.
Terrible idea in real life, especially since he hit fucking
Santa, clipped his forehead from a few hundred feet up, some
really powerful slug, or I don't know what he was shooting.
But he clips Santa's head, Santa crawls down.
Then he weep the doctor scene.
Go and send a gift bag and get as much medical supplies as you
can.
It doesn't even question it.
Got it.
Goes in, gets it, heals him up, which I love.
It just fixes him.
He's like, oh, I'm a little woozy, but cool.
I'm going to have a ride.
Fucking awesome.
Harold standing up to Machete.
Great scene.
I love that Machete then also is like, this is what I've been
waiting for.
My daughter dated some fucking pussy.
And it's like, thanks.
Then he says his name.
It's like, no, it's Mr.
Gerson.
Which is perfect, because that's how, yeah, I love it.
And then, yeah, they're friends again.
And it ends.
I mean, honestly, this is a Christmas classic in my mind.
Yeah.
It's so Christmassy.
The music is great.
You get Santa.
You get a little bit of the Antichrist.
I think it's Christmassy for us.
Yes.
It's not going to make anybody's list of classic holiday films
unless it's written on rolling papers.
And well, ours is.
Yeah.
So it's OK for us.
But I'm not sure I'd show my granddaughter this movie.
No.
You know what I'm saying?
No.
I'm not sure I'd show my granddaughter this movie.
Well, let me put it this way.
If I know someone who likes rated R comedies,
I wouldn't show a child this.
No.
But I would definitely show one of our coworkers who had seen it.
A teenager, though, 14, 15.
Yeah.
But it's like, if I knew a young person who likes holiday movies,
likes raunchy comedies, this is even super raunchy.
You do see a dick stuck to a pole.
And a kid on multiple drugs.
Multiple drugs.
Yeah, it's kind of raunchy.
It's pretty raunchy.
Yeah.
But well acted all the way around.
Love the cameos, like you said.
A lot of guest actors.
You got the dude from Reno 911.
You got Bobby Lee.
You've got a...
Would you watch it with your grandma?
I would.
I would with my grandma.
But my grandma's a stoner.
Well, I watched Oz with my grandma.
So I would watch Harold and Kumar with my grandma.
You know, I never had a strong relationship with any of my grandmas.
What about your parents?
I mean, your parents are...
I would watch this with my dad.
I'm saying with your dad, but not your mom.
That's what I was thinking.
You would watch it with my mom?
Yeah, I wouldn't think anything wrong.
It's just I don't think she would enjoy it.
That's why I wouldn't enjoy it.
My mom wouldn't enjoy it.
Like I just know she wouldn't have a good time.
My dad would think it's funny.
My mom would love to see it.
I think I've watched this with my dad probably.
Yeah.
We go see goofy comedies all the time.
Oh, my dad's like...
I mean, just like...
What's that movie?
The Hangover.
When we saw The Hangover the first time?
Yeah.
I mean, that's a movie you might not want to watch with your parents, but I remember
my dad think it's the best, funniest fucking movie he'd ever seen in his life.
Yeah.
Still, when that Hangover, the first Hangover came out, there was few movies that got that
big of a reception of like, this is the funniest fucking thing.
And no one was wrong.
If you told anybody, go watch The Hangover.
No, this movie feels a lot like The Hangover.
Yeah, it does.
It has that feeling to it.
Yeah.
That kind of adventure...
Destructive adventure.
Yeah.
That was like the first Harold and Kumar movie was like that.
It was, even though it was a stoner driven comedy, it was definitely well received by
pretty much everybody.
Yeah.
I...
This was a fun conclusion, if it has to be the conclusion of Harold and Kumar, but I
would so fucking love one in their 40s.
I want to see a 50 year old Harold and Kumar.
I want to see a Harold and Kumar, Cheech and Chong crossover.
That would be fun.
If they did...
Cheech and Chong now, if they're Harold and Kumar versus Cheech and Chong.
Versus.
You're going to make it first.
You just call it that.
You just call it that, but it's really just them getting high.
Maybe they do have big beef, but then they all just get high and forget about it or something.
They're like racing to a White Castle.
Yeah.
White Castle's last two hamburgers.
Yeah.
That'd be pretty fun.
That'd be a pretty fun little thing.
But yeah, I give this a B minus.
It would be a straight B if it wasn't for the 3D gimmicks, in my opinion.
I would have given it maybe even a B plus as far as I really like this movie.
I've seen it so many times.
It's just delightful.
Everything about it makes me feel good, but the 3D gimmicks really don't hold up, in my
opinion.
So it knocks it down to B minus.
Not without 3D, yeah.
If I would have watched it in 3D with some sort of 3D capability, I thought it was funny
they were watching 3D on the 3D TVs, and I completely forgot that was a thing.
Yeah.
I'm so glad I didn't buy into that back then because they were super expensive, and I almost
bought one.
Oh, the perfect Christmas present.
I almost bought one for Black Friday.
Did they buy one?
I don't think they ever watched 3D on it.
No.
I put 3D content on there all the time.
I don't think they ever did it once.
How did it work?
I've never actually seen one in real life.
Oh, they had glasses.
I thought you were talking about the one that did have glasses.
There was one that came out without glasses.
But you had glasses that you would have in your home.
I watched 3D stuff in there, and it was pretty cool.
Yeah.
Not like VR.
I could imagine playing games with the 3D.
It would have been kind of interesting.
Killzone, I remember, had a 3D element to it that made it feel more immersive, but I
never...
It just was like a gimmick that no one ever really played into, so it just kind of died
out quickly.
Yeah.
But I think I would probably give this movie probably a B- as well.
Okay, two B-s.
That makes three.
That's what I had in it.
Yeah.
All right, so it's a straight up...
Four out of five stars.
Yeah.
B-.
So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.
Harold and Kumar, 3D Christmas.
The very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas.
A... and then...
Now, I'm curious if I would have watched the extended, unrated version, if it would have
been a different grade or not.
Was there one?
There was, but...
There was, but the... that one you can only buy on Prime.
This one was available for rent.
The extended cut was a buy for $15.
I was like, I don't know if I want to buy it.
Huh.
Did I watch the extended?
I don't think I did.
How long was your version?
Oh, I don't know.
Sparksvahak2011108-0.
Hey, well, listen.
Let's not name the exact model of it, but mine was an hour and a half.
I think that's...
I think that's what I was going to say.
Okay, well then there you go.
All right, everybody, well, join us tomorrow for another exciting Christmas episode.
We'll get into something.
Maybe it'll be dark.
Maybe it'll be fun.
We don't know exactly how I'm going to put these in order, but join us tomorrow.
With me is always...
With me is always... it's Brennan Frosty.
The snowman had a...
Shipley up to Boston.
Ho, ho, ho.
With me is always... it is Michael.
He is not only as wise as he is handsome, as handsome as he is old, and as old as he
is, Larsen.
So is this where I bring out the bad jokes?
The bad jokes?
Have Merry Christmas everyone.
And I need to think about my outros better.
I'm Andy Rice.
This is Christmas time.
Your people, it's a present.
Join us tomorrow.
Bye.
It's a Friday night at Christmas and I've invited everyone.
Grab a pipe, a bong, a joint and all have ourselves some fun.
It's a fried rice Christmas and Andy's really high.
He's gonna go on a tangent soon.
The guys are standing by.
It's a fried rice Christmas.
Let's all smoke some pot.
We love all of our listeners.
You all mean a lot.
It's a fried rice Christmas.
Ho, ho, ho.