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It's a fried rice Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho!

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Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! And welcome everybody to another exciting and

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merry Christmas, eight nights of Christmas or more nights of than eight nights of Christmas with

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Fried Rice Podcast. I'm your... We don't know how to count. Ho, ho, ho!

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Andy Rice, let's get fr-fr-fried! With me as always, it's Brennan!

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Dashing through the snow with a Brennan in my arms

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Running down the hill, laughing all the way! Ho, ho, ho!

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Brennan is so cool, he is my best friend

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We will go into the snow and have ourselves some fun

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Oh, Brennan shipply, Brennan shipply, Brennan shipply to Boston

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Ch-ch-ch-ka-ka-ka! Doesn't work anymore.

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And with me as always, if I'm the fat man, it's Michael, he's my number seven, Larson!

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Hey everybody, Merry Christmas.

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And hi, it's me, Andy. I'm the real guy behind that. That was not a bad...

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Not a bad Santa, but not a Santa-Schwarzer.

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Did you like the song though? I was making it up as I went along.

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You're my number one customer, Andy.

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You're my number one customer. Thank you.

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And welcome, we are reviewing Jingle All the Way.

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It's our Christmas, it's another eight nights or more of Christmas.

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It's eight nights of Christmas with Crazy Nights at Christmas with us.

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And we're doing Jingle All the Way.

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The...what was it? 1997, 1998? I always forget to look up the dates.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kid who played...

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Anakin. Anakin. That was Hayden Kidd? That wasn't Hayden Kidd.

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No, it was Anakin in Episode One. A young kid.

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The one that ended up going to jail and going crazy with drugs and stuff.

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Oh, great. I didn't know that.

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Is it Jake Lloyd? I want to take Jake's name.

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Oh, it could be Jake Lloyd. Yeah, it's not the one from Big Daddy,

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because that kid went on to be a Nick Star.

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The one from Big Daddy is the twins, Zach and Cody.

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Were they Nickelodeon stars? Disney.

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Okay, good. Because if they were Nick, they might have had it worse than the drugs.

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I think they both were bad. I just don't think Disney has released a documentary yet.

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Well, Nick didn't release that documentary.

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Disney has the power to stop any documentary.

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We'll hear about it in a hundred years when Mickey's copyright finally runs out.

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We're allowed to talk about it. After the downfall of Marvel and everything.

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Oh, God. Can you imagine when Disney...

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There's got to be a day in the future, realistically, that Disney doesn't exist.

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Or is Disney so ingrained in human culture that 10,000 years from now,

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there will be some remnants of Disney that remain either...

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They've built something that... Where does Disney World go in 10,000 years?

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Because the civilizations that were 10,000 years ago, right?

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They were living in little caves or whatever, and little villages that got...

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Storms took them out.

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We destroyed the brick, the buildings that people built before us to rebuild,

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but I guess that's what would happen to us, right?

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But the Coliseum's still there.

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Yeah, there's still a lot of structures that are old.

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Will Disneyland still be there? The castle by itself. Just one castle.

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Well, you'd have to keep all of it, right?

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Wasn't there old Disney theme parks that are closed down?

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Isn't there one that's an island somewhere?

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There's one on an island somewhere that's all overgrown now.

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Yeah, it's all overgrown.

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But you can still tell if you go there.

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And people still go there, and they're not supposed to.

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They go there legally and explore and graffiti and all that stuff.

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Creepy Abandoned Amusement Park is...

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One of the creepier ones.

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It's one of the creepier ones.

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And I think it's because it's especially...

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Okay, I mean, because I was just talking about a book that I...

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Fantastic Land, which is a great book.

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Fantastic Land.

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Fantastic Land.

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You didn't say that right, yes.

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Fantastic Land.

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Fantastic Land.

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It's a book I just read recently.

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By the time this is out, I finished it.

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And the amount of tunnels and what's behind the facades and the inner workings...

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Which I guess is real.

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They just talked about something they found at Disneyland with the floods,

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with the people trapped in them and stuff in the hurricane just now.

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Oh, shit, really?

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There's tunnels all under Disney World.

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Yeah, which is crazy.

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And so you got to imagine that if there's people that want to hurt you in an amusement park,

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like an abandoned one, they can hide.

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Kind of terrifying.

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Yeah.

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When we just watched it, there was tunnels under there that were haunted.

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Based on reality.

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Oh, shit.

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Killer characters in Disneyland.

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I may never go to an amusement park.

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It's scary.

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Yeah, I mean, is it worth the amusement?

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Yeah.

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Well, definitely just don't go where any science say employees only,

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because then you'll end up where you're not supposed to.

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We tried that when we were on the Queen Mary for the Halloween hunt.

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We tried to go through one of the secret doors to do some extra exploring.

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And I think we got down maybe an eye, like a corridor or two before we were like, OK,

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we're going to either get caught or lost or die.

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But Queen Mary on a Halloween night?

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Yeah, even with a thousand people in the little park area.

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That's one of the best.

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See, the problem is that the first year I went to Queen Mary, it was awesome.

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We had our senior problem on the Queen Mary.

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No, but the Halloween hunt in particular.

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I didn't go for the Halloween one, but our prom was in like the ballroom.

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It was cool. It was bitching.

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I mean, that's pretty balling.

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You were in Corona area, right?

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Yeah, it was a private school.

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So it was an expensive prom.

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Ours was at like a, I think a club, like a golf course clubhouse thing

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that was like near our city or in our city or whatever.

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I guess we did for our homecoming.

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Oh, got it. That's your phone.

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It's our prom.

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Mike's prom was in a fucking hay barn with a bunch of...

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Or a cave.

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Cave.

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In a cave.

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It was in a cave.

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Prom is a loose term.

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It's just he knocked two girls on the head that night and dragged them to his cave.

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So it was a real celebration.

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So let's get into a jingle all the way.

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There's...

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This movie has been a classic favorite of mine to watch for most of my life

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around Christmas time.

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I've always enjoyed it.

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And I now...

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You're aware it's a bad movie, though, right?

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Now I'm watching it with different eyes.

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Okay, just checking.

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I mean, there's enjoyable parts of it. There's plenty of parts.

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So it's a bad movie.

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Well, I maybe have some critiques.

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That is great. I love Simbad.

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Did you know, Simbad, speaking of, that's one of my main taggers for this movie,

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I had no idea that Simbad was so fucking big.

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Yeah.

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He's bigger than Arnie.

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He's next to Arnold, yeah.

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It's like, what the heck?

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I had no idea that Simbad was that big.

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Arnold gives me short King vibes.

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Yeah, because he doesn't look very tall in this.

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No, but no, he's taller than all the women and all the other people.

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But he's like six...

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Except for Simbad.

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Is he like six foot, six one?

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Yeah, he's like six or six one.

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He's not super tall, but...

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Yeah.

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But Simbad, I mean even broad shoulders and everything.

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Simbad's a big dude.

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I always pictured Simbad as skinny in my mind for some reason.

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He's not.

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In his movie Shazam, he's pretty big.

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Shaquille O'Neal.

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Yeah, that's Shaq.

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No, you're thinking of Kazam.

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I don't know.

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Shazam was the one with Simbad in it.

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No, Shazam had the dude from TV.

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What?

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John Krasinski was Shazam.

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He's making a reference to the...

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John Krasinski.

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Mandela effect.

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No, you're thinking of the new Shazam.

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You're thinking of the one based on the comic.

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Shazam, yeah.

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No, remember, no, Mike, you had the Shaquille O'Neal movie,

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Kazam, with the genie.

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Then there was the Simbad movie, Shazam.

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Okay, people thought he was in a Simbad, an actual Simbad movie.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Another.

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Yeah.

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And it's all based, I think, on the outfit from this where he's got

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the brain on his head thing or whatever.

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Oh, that was at the very end.

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Yeah.

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So why are all the women in the neighborhood wanting Phil Hartman?

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I don't understand that.

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I bet.

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Listen, that is one of the worst.

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Yeah, even my wife was like, wait, why is he talking like that?

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He's rinsing her up.

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I don't know.

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Yeah.

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And I was like, ew.

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It was a weird part.

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It was just done weirdly.

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I just thought...

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It's because he was like the perfect...

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He was trying to be the perfect, but it was all so fake.

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It was all fake.

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Okay, but what I'm thinking is like every woman there, all the...

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I don't know if they're single women in the neighborhood or if they're all

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married, but all of them are trying to hook up with him.

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Like when they're at the karate tournament, they're all fucking like, oh,

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can you please come over and fix my leg?

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So he's got his...

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Already, he's either fucking every woman in the neighborhood or all the moms

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in the karate class at least or whatever.

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But so like...

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And then he is inappropriate with Donald's wife.

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I told you before you watched this because you said you had never seen it

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before, and I was like, oh, well, just get ready to watch his show.

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Get ready to watch his neighbor try to fuck his wife the whole time while

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he's out of town.

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So that's the A...

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That's the main B plot line of this movie.

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No, the A plot line is the near affair, like the...

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It's the neighbor and I think the wife.

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You think that's the A plot, not the B plot?

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I think it's the one that makes...

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The A plot is them trying to get the toy is the A plot.

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Well, if we're really going around, the A plot is the GTA...

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The GTA wanted level three and a half rampage that Arnold and Sinbad went

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through on this fucking...

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On this small trip.

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Bro, they threatened cops with bombs.

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They fucking...

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So many people got hurt due to their recklessness.

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One of them was a real bomb.

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Jesus Christ, yeah.

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So...

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Well, wait a minute.

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First thing I want to know from you though, because you like it when a movie

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opens with...

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What the movie is about.

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Right.

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And did this open with Jingle All the Way?

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No, Turboman.

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Turboman.

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Oh, it opens with a whole damn episode of Turboman.

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Yeah, I actually...

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I can't even act into it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, that was great.

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I like how hokey it was.

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Although, here's the thing that I don't quite understand is he passes by the

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marquee, the Turboman movies out.

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Why wasn't the kid begging to go see the movie?

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Probably only had, maybe, I don't know.

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It's like, oh, Turboman's at the parade.

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I want to go see Turboman.

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Let's go see the Turboman movie.

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Turboman was everywhere in this movie.

252
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000
That was the whole movie.

253
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000
Yeah.

254
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:29,000
So why and how doesn't Arnold know how time works?

255
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,000
So as he's my number one favorite customer, as he's talking to all of his

256
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,000
customers throughout the day, showing how charming he is and how much of a

257
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:41,000
wheeler and dealer he is, his secretary holds up a sign.

258
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,000
I know you don't want to be bothered, but your son's hockey...

259
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Not hockey, but...

260
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000
Karate.

261
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Your karate tournament's in 20 minutes.

262
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
And he's like, I'll make it.

263
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000
She says, you told me that a half an hour ago.

264
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000
At this point, does he not know how time works?

265
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,000
Because he's like, if it's in 20 minutes, you have to leave now or you're not

266
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000
going to make it.

267
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:07,000
I get caught up being in your work or whatever, but you were just told that

268
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,000
you were at the point that if you don't leave, you're not going to make it.

269
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:16,000
So when he leaves, and I have a point to this, when he leaves already late and

270
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,000
he gets in and he's driving and he's already late and he gets into traffic

271
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:25,000
and he's already going to miss it, him breaking the law, stupid.

272
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Getting a ticket, being detained for that amount of time at least, he knows

273
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,000
for sure that the fucking karate tournament is over.

274
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,000
It's been, he's an hour late by far.

275
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000
Go home.

276
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Go home to your family who are pissed at you.

277
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
Buy them some ice cream on the way.

278
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:49,000
Do not go to the gymnasium, walk in when there's no cars in the parking lot,

279
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,000
walk into it and say, I didn't make it.

280
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,000
Like, who are you talking to, Arnold?

281
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Who?

282
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,000
It's the same as in Hook, like when he goes to his son's baseball game in the

283
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,000
beginning and he clearly misses it and he shows up, nobody's there, he runs

284
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000
over the hill, everybody's gone.

285
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:10,000
Yeah, that's kind of the trope of the bad dad because I'm working all the time.

286
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Well, it's stupid.

287
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000
And I forget about taking care of the family.

288
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000
It's a stupid trope.

289
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
It's a show he's kind of an asshole.

290
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,000
But at the same time, you work a lot and you have young kids and they miss you

291
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
all like crazy all the time.

292
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,000
Do you, did that resonate with you at all where you're like, you have to ever

293
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,000
miss anything important or do you carve out the time to make your kids a

294
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000
priority that doesn't make you a bad dad?

295
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,000
I haven't really missed anything yet because they're not really doing anything

296
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
yet.

297
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000
They're young.

298
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
It gets way worse.

299
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Yeah.

300
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000
They're young.

301
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000
Way to shit on your kids.

302
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000
They haven't done anything yet.

303
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000
They're five and three.

304
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
I beat my master robot recently.

305
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000
Yeah, he beat my game.

306
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,000
They beat your game of master robot, snuck in and beat the end of your master

307
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000
robot run.

308
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,000
It does get worse though because like with older kids, my kids are all grown

309
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,000
now, of course, and then my granddaughter we have now, but all the time, even

310
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,000
now, you know, you get scheduled for work, you miss things.

311
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:05,000
There is no way around it and it's one of the hardest things to explain to a

312
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000
child.

313
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Well, why didn't you just take the day off?

314
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,000
Well, because you have something almost every goddamn day.

315
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000
And I can't take every day off.

316
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:17,000
I can't make it to your band recital and your karate tournament.

317
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Do you like food on the table?

318
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
Yeah.

319
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000
Yeah.

320
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000
Do you want to eat?

321
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000
Do you like the electricity and the internet?

322
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Very hard to explain to a child though.

323
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000
Here's the thing.

324
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,000
I'll always make sure that you have electricity and the internet and food, but

325
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000
the thing is what kind of food do you want?

326
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Do you want delicious snack foods that maybe you can enjoy, the occasional

327
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:38,000
soda, kids or whatever, or do you want the bare necessities?

328
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Because we can live off the bare necessities and I can make your hockey

329
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
tournament this weekend or whatever.

330
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000
But yeah, I get it.

331
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:49,000
But still, that was a stupid move on his part, going straight.

332
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,000
He should have went straight home.

333
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
I put nice Captain America.

334
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
Oh, his fucking room is decked out.

335
00:14:54,000 --> 00:15:01,000
This whole movie is almost problematic with the amount of other licensed

336
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000
characters that are in it that are not Disney.

337
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000
You know they didn't pay for it.

338
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Yeah.

339
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
They're Disney properties now.

340
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
Yeah.

341
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000
This is a little foresight.

342
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,000
Disney owns this and they have Captain America just on the wall, which would

343
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000
be perfect for...

344
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Was this always a Disney movie?

345
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000
I don't know.

346
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000
Wait, did it open with Disney?

347
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000
I don't think it opened with Disney.

348
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000
No, it does not.

349
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000
I think it's, well, it was Touchstone, which was Disney.

350
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
I think it's 20th century, wasn't it?

351
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,000
Wow.

352
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Is it open with 20th century?

353
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000
I don't remember, honestly.

354
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Yeah.

355
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:33,000
I put Arnold is a liar because he lies to everyone.

356
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000
Everyone.

357
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
Yeah.

358
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:40,000
And I think that Arnold is an asshole to not, I mean, he's an asshole to pretty much everyone

359
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000
he meets.

360
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
He's the real villain here.

361
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000
Okay.

362
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000
I mean, I'm not even kidding you.

363
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000
This is the slant I'm going with.

364
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Arnold in this movie, along with his henchman Sinbad, are the most vile people you'll ever

365
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
run into in a holiday movie.

366
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,000
Yeah.

367
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Two shitty dads waiting for Christmas Eve.

368
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
They got people killed, bro.

369
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000
Yeah.

370
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000
One of which knows he's a shitty dad though.

371
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000
Yeah.

372
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000
Sinbad knows he's a shitty dad.

373
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Yeah.

374
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000
That's the difference in this movie.

375
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000
He at least admits it, yeah.

376
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Sinbad even talks about it.

377
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Yeah.

378
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000
I wonder if Arnold, but Arnold never really admits it.

379
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000
Yeah.

380
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000
Well, no, he does at the end.

381
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000
That's what I'm saying.

382
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,000
The end is Sinbad teaches Arnold, in this movie, is what this movie really is.

383
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,160
If you break it down.

384
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:23,840
There's one point where Arnold is, I think he's, what is he, drinking?

385
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:28,920
When he goes to help at the end, where he's just like, no, I'm going to win the back,

386
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,880
there's no reason to do it.

387
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:36,480
He's like sitting there and he's kind of drinking and he goes, no, I'm just, I don't have a

388
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:37,480
form of thought.

389
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,480
I didn't write it down.

390
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,480
I'm so sorry.

391
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,480
Moving on.

392
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,640
I have a lot to, Sinbad is insane.

393
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:43,640
Yeah.

394
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,000
He just choked a woman in line.

395
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,340
Cops would have been called for that.

396
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,920
They just stampeded that man to death.

397
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,440
That feels like normal Christmas.

398
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:58,480
This is where the madcap hunt for the doll becomes a madcap hunt for a ball?

399
00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,480
Yeah.

400
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,480
Yes.

401
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,480
Yeah, okay.

402
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:08,800
When Arnold was in that child's playpen.

403
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:09,800
Yeah.

404
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:10,800
Chasing a toddler.

405
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,800
Someone should have stopped him long ago.

406
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,800
Yeah.

407
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,280
They did do it right there with the mom beating shit.

408
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:21,400
Yeah, but I'm just saying at some point he should have noticed that he had gone too far.

409
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,400
Yes.

410
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,400
At one point he really did.

411
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,640
Also, one more thing.

412
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:26,640
This is Arnold.

413
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:27,640
How would he have fit?

414
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,360
Well, there's that.

415
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:37,800
But here's something, Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the toughest, baddest bodybuilder guys,

416
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:45,200
when he notices that the slide that he's sliding down is entering a ball pit, he does a scream.

417
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,200
Yeah.

418
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,200
Why?

419
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,200
That's his wee.

420
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,200
This is wee.

421
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,200
No.

422
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,200
That's as good as Artie can go wee.

423
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,640
That's how badasses do wee.

424
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:57,080
No, he looked fearful for the comedy effect they tried for children is we're going to

425
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,440
make Arnold look scared to go into a ball pit.

426
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,440
He had a predator flashback.

427
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,440
You son of a bitch.

428
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:10,000
Although they did do, I will say they did a good job of playing down his muscularity

429
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000
and stuff.

430
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Yeah, with the over-clothes.

431
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000
The way they did his clothing and stuff.

432
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,000
He did not look big in this at all.

433
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000
He just looked normal size.

434
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,840
Just like he had that Arnold head, that square head, which just is cool.

435
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:21,840
I like his head.

436
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,120
You're great, Arnold.

437
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,360
But they did stampede him into death.

438
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:30,360
Arnold uses his size and violence to intimidate someone though.

439
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,200
He does use violence to intimidate.

440
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,200
Just not his neighbor.

441
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,920
Yeah, not his neighbor.

442
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,040
Which I'm surprised he didn't beat the shit out of his neighbor at one point.

443
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,360
There's not in the director's cut.

444
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,160
Oh, by the way, here's something important to note.

445
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,080
I watched, of course, I found the director's cut for Jingle All the Way, which has an extra

446
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,800
five or an extra nine minutes or whatever.

447
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:51,800
They did not.

448
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:56,760
So I showed them two or three key little differences.

449
00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:02,040
One being when they go to that underground Santa warehouse, whichever we got to yet.

450
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,320
When they get there, is it John Belushi?

451
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,320
Jim Belushi?

452
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:07,320
It's John Belushi.

453
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,320
Jim Belushi.

454
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,320
Jim Belushi.

455
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,320
Jim Belushi, yeah.

456
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,960
He has a musical number.

457
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,920
He sings and it's quite nice.

458
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,080
The other Santas sing along with him.

459
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:22,040
And then the other one is Sinbad and Arnold in the diner and Sinbad's talking about a

460
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,840
toy that his father didn't get him when he was younger.

461
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,240
In this one, he goes through all seven variations.

462
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,240
A really long description.

463
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,240
Yeah.

464
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,240
I mean, it's funny.

465
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,240
He ad-libbed a lot in this movie.

466
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,240
Yeah, you could tell.

467
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,240
Yeah, it was funny.

468
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,240
A lot of his ad-libs were funny.

469
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,240
I thought it was funny.

470
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,720
Does anybody, I was watching this, we kind of went around and we actually were talking,

471
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,160
my wife watched this with me and we were talking about Sinbad.

472
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,800
Was there, does anybody know what happened to Sinbad?

473
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:46,480
Why he just stopped?

474
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,280
Why he just stopped kind of?

475
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,880
Because he was great in this.

476
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:50,880
It's Sinbad.

477
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,880
He had a stand-up career.

478
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,880
I remember everything I've seen him in.

479
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,920
Yeah, and then all of a sudden just gone for years and years and years.

480
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,120
He's in multiple movies, all kids' movies.

481
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,120
Right, yeah.

482
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,120
So, I don't know.

483
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:04,240
Quiet, quietly quit, quietly disgraced.

484
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,240
I don't know.

485
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,240
Yeah, I don't know.

486
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,240
If something happened, we don't know about it.

487
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,240
Did he go bankrupt or something?

488
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,240
You know what?

489
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,680
Sometimes I've always felt that there's got to be the celebrities that are just like,

490
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,680
cool, I'm done.

491
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,680
I got my 30 million, I'm done.

492
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,680
I'm done, bro.

493
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,680
I've got a nice house.

494
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,880
I don't have to work ever again.

495
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,240
I don't want to just keep doing these kids' movies.

496
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,960
People make fun of me all the fucking time.

497
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,560
Because of course, you look at a movie like this and everyone's going to be like, if you're

498
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:34,360
Roger Ebert, you're going to be like, oh, the acting is stupid and Sinbad was a joke

499
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:37,720
and they shouldn't have let him ad-lib so much and blah, blah, blah.

500
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,920
Where it's like, if you're from a kid's perspective, you're like, this is fucking dope.

501
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,040
Yeah, this is definitely a kid's perspective.

502
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:48,440
When I was a kid, when this came out, I went to the theaters to see it with my family.

503
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,680
I remember walking away going, that was awesome.

504
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,120
I want a Turboman doll.

505
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:58,400
When I was a kid, I was thinking, I don't know if they sold Turboman dolls.

506
00:20:58,400 --> 00:20:59,400
They did.

507
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,400
One of my buddies had one.

508
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,400
Oh, really?

509
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:06,760
Yeah, he had one and we were playing with it in his room and he threw it off the top

510
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,160
bunk of his bed and it landed on the floor and broke.

511
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,160
Damn.

512
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,160
Did they have booster dolls, though?

513
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,160
That's the real question.

514
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,160
They had the jet pack, but it didn't work.

515
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:14,160
It made sounds.

516
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,160
The booster, his little cat thing or whatever that was.

517
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,520
I don't know if he had the booster.

518
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,520
He might have had the booster.

519
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:20,520
But didn't it exist?

520
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,000
Played by the dude from Revenge of the Nerds.

521
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000
Booger.

522
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000
Booger from Revenge of the Nerds.

523
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000
I always forget his name.

524
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,400
I don't know, the host of King of the Nerds.

525
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,400
Yeah.

526
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,400
It's him and the other guy.

527
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:32,400
Smoking a cigarette.

528
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,400
Where have you been?

529
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,400
Yeah.

530
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:47,400
So they get into that before the ball scene, they are in the mall and they rush through,

531
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,320
they stamp earlier.

532
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,160
He stampedes his way through.

533
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,240
This is where he first meets Sinbad, I think, when they're outside the line.

534
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:58,280
Then they go inside, they stampede their way through into that one store and they realize

535
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,080
that there's no dolls or whatever.

536
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:05,240
And then somebody says that there's more somewhere else.

537
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:15,440
And so when Sinbad hits Arnold and runs away, Arnold takes the remote control of a RC car

538
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,720
from this little kid.

539
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:26,960
And in the chaos of this fight going on with all these people, he somehow gets the RC car

540
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,960
in a place he can't see it to U-turn and perfectly get underneath.

541
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:38,640
The moment Sinbad steps down, that's the most unlikely thing besides the fully working jet

542
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,600
pack at the end of this movie that's better than Rocket Man's jet pack.

543
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,320
That Arnold just picks it up immediately and knows what to do.

544
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,320
I've got it, I've got it.

545
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,320
He doesn't immediately know what to do.

546
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:52,880
At first he kills himself by crashing 9-11 style into a building and then he crashes

547
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:53,880
to the floor.

548
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,680
He figures it out in a matter of minutes.

549
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,280
Without dying.

550
00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:59,280
Jesus.

551
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:04,640
Oh, and the car was being played with an unaccompanied minor who was just sitting there in a fight.

552
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,800
Probably his parents were beating someone's ass right then and he's just like, oh, let's

553
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,000
play with this remote control car.

554
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:15,880
The box, so in the deleted scene, one of the deleted scenes is as they're leaving, oh,

555
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:20,000
so the thing that gives them their call to action to leave the fucking store is they

556
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:25,160
hear that woman with a, because he uses his violence to intimidate a guy, picks him up,

557
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,920
she says, tell me where the fucking doll is.

558
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,520
He goes, oh, some woman bought it, she was in a fur coat and she leaves.

559
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:36,780
So in your guys' scene, he runs outside, he sees a lady driving away in a fur coat, he

560
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:43,120
runs after the car, he goes, and she drives off like he's a crazy person.

561
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:49,040
In my version, he sees a lady walking with a fur coat and he walks up to her and it's

562
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:54,920
played by this actress who I've seen before in a bunch of things and she's like kind of

563
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,200
really cute in a way, but then also-

564
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:01,840
I think she's an Agatha all along, is one of the witches, I'm not sure.

565
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:06,680
She's an interesting actress, very unique face and she thinks that Arnold's hitting

566
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:16,000
on her and he says to her, so, okay, one of the things that is she has an open bag and

567
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:22,920
on the top of it, it says, Turboman Booster Doll that you could very, very clearly read.

568
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:28,640
If you're any taller than this girl, and it's Arnold, he's massively taller than her, so

569
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,800
he'd be able to read the box.

570
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,360
Instead, he offers her three times the amount they paid for.

571
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:36,240
Maybe that's why they cut it, to be honest, because it was so obvious.

572
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:41,240
But yeah, so he offers her three times the amount of money, he picks it up, finds out

573
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,840
it's a booster doll and then throws it away.

574
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,800
Yeah, he should have kept it and given it to his kid at least that too and been like,

575
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:49,800
Turboman's coming.

576
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,400
Yeah, you get a Turboman and a booster.

577
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,000
The kid would have been, no one else has a booster, right?

578
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,000
Exactly.

579
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,000
They keep leaving it behind.

580
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,120
It's an ongoing gag and nobody wants the booster.

581
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,120
Nobody wants the booster.

582
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,120
Everybody hates boosters.

583
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:02,120
Yeah.

584
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:03,120
They even beat up boosters.

585
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:07,040
All I was thinking before that scene when he first gets to the toy store and he's like,

586
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,040
do you have Turboman Doll?

587
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,040
And the guys start laughing.

588
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,200
He's like, wait, come here, ask him that.

589
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,080
That's how I felt looking for a PS5 when they first came out.

590
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,600
Every day going to a store is de-gagging in stock.

591
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,960
We had Cabbage Patch Kids when my kids were little that way.

592
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,960
There's been lots of toys.

593
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,560
When they first came out, it was Tickle Me Elmo.

594
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,560
Yeah.

595
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,720
That's what they were directly referencing is the Tickle Me Elmo craze.

596
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:27,720
That was insane.

597
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,000
I remember seeing a news report as a kid.

598
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Actual fights.

599
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,000
Yeah.

600
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Yeah.

601
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,000
Even the Wii was like that too.

602
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,000
What's that?

603
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,200
When the Wii came out, it was kind of like that too.

604
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,320
I think people were a little calmer though.

605
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,280
I don't think there was as many fights as like Tickle Me Elmo.

606
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:43,680
But now we get different kinds of...

607
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:44,680
The 90s were weird.

608
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,520
Now we don't get people beating each other's asses.

609
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:57,560
Now we just get people buying a thousand PS5s and upcharging them 10,000 or a thousand percent.

610
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,940
So when he...

611
00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:08,080
Also using his charms to woo the woman, because she obviously was into him.

612
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,080
He was like, oh hello.

613
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,520
Yeah, actually I just want your bag.

614
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,160
Her response to that is like, my bag.

615
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:19,720
And he offers three times the money and she goes, okay, well sure.

616
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,000
I don't need to know what...

617
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,480
But she says, I don't need to know what you're going to do.

618
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,440
She's basically like, are you going to fuck this thing?

619
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,120
Is what she's asking.

620
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,880
She's like, whoa, you're going to fuck this thing.

621
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:30,880
I don't need to know.

622
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:31,880
I'm okay.

623
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:32,880
I'm going to back off.

624
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:33,880
And she leaves.

625
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:34,880
I just thought that was weird.

626
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,880
Well it's probably because in her mind she's like, booster, there's a shit ton of them

627
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:38,880
everywhere.

628
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:39,880
Why do you need to buy three times the amount?

629
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:40,880
Yeah.

630
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:41,880
Fucking creep.

631
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:42,880
Just go to the store, dude.

632
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,280
And then when he chases after the car, he ends up stopping right in the middle of the

633
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,280
road.

634
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,280
And that is, I think, one of the most asshole moves he does in the whole movie.

635
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:51,280
And that's including violence.

636
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:57,080
I think driving on the shoulder in the traffic was a very asshole move in the beginning.

637
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,040
That poor cop who that Arnold keeps fucking over.

638
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,520
But because he's in a turbo man.

639
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:03,520
Robert Patrick, I think it is.

640
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:04,520
Yeah, I think it's Robert Patrick.

641
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:05,520
No, wait.

642
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,360
I think the cop is Robert Patrick.

643
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:09,360
I don't think so.

644
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:10,360
Double choke.

645
00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:11,360
From Double Dragon?

646
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:14,360
I don't remember.

647
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,760
Robert Patrick from Double Dragon, the main bad guy?

648
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:17,760
I think it is.

649
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:18,760
I don't remember.

650
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:19,760
Terminator.

651
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,760
Oh, I forgot he's in that.

652
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:21,760
Yeah.

653
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:22,760
It is.

654
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:23,760
Oh yeah, that's right.

655
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:30,640
I always think of him as the main villain in Double Dragon that we just reviewed.

656
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:35,960
So the, oh.

657
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,800
There's another hilarious casting in this too.

658
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:38,800
What was that?

659
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:39,800
When they go to the radio station.

660
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:40,800
Who's that guy?

661
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:41,800
Martin Mull.

662
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,800
I've seen him in other things.

663
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,320
There was a television show that ran for maybe 10 years.

664
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:53,000
WKRP in Cincinnati and he was the main radio announcer on that show.

665
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,960
Yeah, it's like a spoof of a radio station.

666
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:56,960
Yeah.

667
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,800
It's good stunt casting.

668
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:04,680
Those store workers are way too willing to laugh at some poor father who's twice their

669
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,680
size.

670
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,040
Yeah, well it didn't last.

671
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,040
The retail employees at holiday time.

672
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,040
Yeah.

673
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,680
They've got to find some enjoyment at this point in their season.

674
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,680
They're over it.

675
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,720
I mean, that's fucked up.

676
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,600
Phil Hartman is a creep the whole fucking movie.

677
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,680
You broke my little, what does he say?

678
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,040
This would have been a much better movie that would have cut Phil Hartman completely out

679
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,040
of it.

680
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,320
Oh no, because then you don't get the greatest line in the whole movie.

681
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,760
Which put the cookie down.

682
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,720
That's like quote that all the time.

683
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:39,720
She's next door.

684
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,720
She's next door.

685
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,160
That's like my she's next door.

686
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:43,160
Pet and Ted.

687
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,160
Yeah, Ted.

688
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,080
Yeah, that's that's my favorite line of Arnold.

689
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,080
Yeah.

690
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,400
Well, the put the cookie down is my favorite Arnold line.

691
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,200
All of his quotes.

692
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,200
Yeah.

693
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,200
Put the cookie down.

694
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,200
It's the best of all of his quotes.

695
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,200
It's the best.

696
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,200
It is.

697
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,200
It beats out.

698
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,200
I'll be back.

699
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,200
It beats out.

700
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,200
It beats out.

701
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,200
I'm a kindergarten cop.

702
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,160
Get to the chopper.

703
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,760
Just because of the context and just it's so silly.

704
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:08,760
But it's so silly.

705
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:09,760
Yeah.

706
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:10,760
Put the cookie down.

707
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:11,760
He does.

708
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:19,640
And that was that's the best ball of America in the 90s looks amazing.

709
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,640
I've always wanted to go.

710
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:21,640
I've always wanted to.

711
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,880
I bet it's kind of lame now.

712
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,360
Check out Fried Rice podcast.

713
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,880
Mall of America coming soon.

714
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,920
That'd be dope.

715
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:36,560
These line workers that threw the buckets of balls should be charged with inciting a

716
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:37,560
riot.

717
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,880
Because they're handing out the balls and I understand that people are being aggressive

718
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:41,880
around them.

719
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,200
But then they should have been like no stop everybody form a line.

720
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,200
We're not doing it this way.

721
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,200
Just throwing them up in the air.

722
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:52,440
Instead of throwing it up in the air to the point where it was just a bedlam of chaos.

723
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:58,520
So no rubber ball in the history of rubber balls has ever rubber balled that much and

724
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,600
bounced to infinity and beyond.

725
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:06,760
It bounced all the way to the fucking like that was insane.

726
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,800
More than the playpen was weird.

727
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:14,000
Why did Arnold yell when he was sliding down the tiny little slide towards the ball pit.

728
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,720
Those mothers sure did let up on those pedophile pervert claims real quick.

729
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:24,040
Why is Santa quote unquote sitting in his Santa chair when the Santa will be back in

730
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,320
five minutes sign is still up.

731
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,480
Implying he's on a break which he is.

732
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,000
Why is he sitting in the chair waving to people.

733
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,440
He was sitting there the sign wasn't turned around as soon as he walks by and says he's

734
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,560
looking for the turbo turbo man.

735
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,440
That's when the elf turned it around.

736
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:40,440
Thank you.

737
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:41,440
That does solve that problem.

738
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:42,960
I had I appreciate that.

739
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:46,280
Also why is there not a line of kids waiting to meet Santa.

740
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,200
There was because it was a really shitty Santa.

741
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:50,200
Yeah.

742
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,880
Why does the elf have a Polaroid of him with today's newspaper.

743
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,200
Does he do this every day.

744
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,760
Does he just literally take a picture of him in a toy every day.

745
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,120
Plus the small print is too small.

746
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:07,040
People wouldn't be able to read the date from that little Polaroid.

747
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:13,720
He would have to be aware of the day's headlines going into this to for that to be effective.

748
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:18,560
So he would have the little elf would be like here's the today's you see it's today's paper

749
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:23,680
and the thing at this point I would look at the Polaroid be like OK today's paper.

750
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,680
I can't see the date.

751
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:25,960
What were the headlines today.

752
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,420
And if it matched up with what I saw earlier at the table when I was reading the newspaper

753
00:31:29,420 --> 00:31:31,560
if I did I might believe it.

754
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:35,920
I think in that day I think everybody did read the paper because there was no real Internet.

755
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:36,920
Yeah.

756
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:41,720
So and I understand that it's a trope that you pulled up today's newspaper and it shows

757
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,320
that it's today.

758
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,680
I'm not sitting on your lap is a great and tasteful gay joke.

759
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:53,120
And here's why it's a great tasteful gay joke because I think if you were to if the if the

760
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:58,560
main character wasn't Arnold and it was a mom trying to find a gift and the same interaction

761
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,280
happened where he's like hey I'll help you out she's like I'm not sitting on your lap

762
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,200
and he's like I'm not trying to get you sit on my lap or whatever.

763
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,720
It's still a funny joke.

764
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,600
Don't worry because it feels like what do I got to do for this thing.

765
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,080
And so it's not really a gay joke.

766
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:13,560
I didn't feel like it was a gay joke.

767
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,840
I thought it was a Santa joke.

768
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,800
But it is but it is a gay joke.

769
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,800
I think it's a Santa joke.

770
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,520
Because Arnold turning I'm not sitting on your lap like the way he said it.

771
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,320
I don't think it's any adult sitting on Santa's lap.

772
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,320
Yeah.

773
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,320
That's how I took it.

774
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,320
Yeah.

775
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:27,320
OK.

776
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:31,120
So it's a mild gay joke because the 90s were pretty wild when it came to throwing it even

777
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,640
gay jokes into kids movies.

778
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:33,640
Yeah.

779
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:34,640
That's true.

780
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,840
Like just because they thought it was funny.

781
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:44,160
So wait I put wait what Santa just blew off his shift.

782
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:47,120
Like how much are they going to uplift this guy up charge him which we find out later

783
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,240
is three hundred dollars.

784
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:53,680
So if Santa's getting paid let's just say he makes five hundred dollars a day.

785
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,280
Small Santa's make like fifty dollars.

786
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:56,280
Do they really.

787
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:57,280
Yeah.

788
00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:01,120
It's a it's a under minimum wage.

789
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,160
Well nowadays it's probably not like now it's minimum wage.

790
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,160
It's got to be minimum wage.

791
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,080
There's there's no way it's more than right.

792
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,840
But yeah it's probably a minimum wage job.

793
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:14,280
Have you seen bell ringers and malls and this before.

794
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,040
They're all pretty bad.

795
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:18,040
What yeah.

796
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,800
It just depends on the ringers the Salvation Army people.

797
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:21,800
Oh yeah.

798
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,160
Those are usually homeless guys.

799
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,000
Those ones that's a volunteer job.

800
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,400
That's not like that's not an hour.

801
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:27,400
No they paid them.

802
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,400
Do they really.

803
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,400
Yeah they paid them.

804
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:30,400
That's not a volunteer job.

805
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,400
It's mostly homeless people they know like at the Salvation Army the people they help

806
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,040
they'll give them a job doing that.

807
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,040
Actually they give them a commission.

808
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,920
They give them like 10 percent of what that's why they're so aggressive.

809
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:40,920
OK that makes sense.

810
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:42,920
They give them 10 percent of what's in the belt.

811
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:43,920
That makes sense.

812
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:44,920
Kettle.

813
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:45,920
That's crazy.

814
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:46,920
They.

815
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:54,280
I think there's another thing you might have missed but at one point there so they leave

816
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,640
and you know the sign says it'll be back in five minutes they're gone for at least a couple

817
00:33:58,640 --> 00:33:59,640
hours.

818
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:04,280
So as they're driving though he says we've been driving for 20 minutes.

819
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,280
Where are we going.

820
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,280
I don't think you guys got this.

821
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:07,280
Yeah.

822
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,280
Yeah.

823
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,720
We got sand in the car with them.

824
00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:13,560
I just don't remember them how much they were saying.

825
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:14,560
They.

826
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:15,560
I'll show it to you after but they.

827
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:22,040
I don't know they have a moment about why he's doing this.

828
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,160
I don't know.

829
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:29,800
So Verne Troyer is an elf Santa.

830
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,880
Sorry I put Elf in the cross.

831
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:36,120
He's a little he's a little Santa and he's reading a dirty magazine called mischief.

832
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:42,800
It on the cover there's two headlines that say how to throw a sex fight and how to get

833
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,280
more protein from sex.

834
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,480
And I have an answer to both.

835
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,760
Don't let's know the protein from sex.

836
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,040
Oh Jesus.

837
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,880
I tried this on my wife once you know.

838
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:01,960
It's just to swallow how to throw a sex fight.

839
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,320
It depends on what they mean by that.

840
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:12,160
Is it how to lose on purpose in a sex fight or is it how to put a how to host a sex fight

841
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,080
and either either one.

842
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:24,160
The answer is gracefully and with dignity the Santa song was pretty random.

843
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:28,480
So if you if you had didn't see the director's cut which no one did it.

844
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:35,000
But Jim Belushi he does a full song about the boy who forgot about Santa and it's because

845
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:39,320
his dad was a piece of shit.

846
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,160
Big Santa kills midget Santa dwarf Santa probably.

847
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:47,840
He throws him and he went little when little Santa when another little Santa pops up on

848
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:55,920
on Arnold's head he ducks and that dude hits full force with the power of a giant and that

849
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,960
dude flies across and hits the wall.

850
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,080
He killed him.

851
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:03,440
That's two deaths so far that are all inadvertently caused big show that was big.

852
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:04,440
Was that big show.

853
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,440
OK.

854
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:06,440
That's great.

855
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:07,440
I didn't know that.

856
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,440
I had to I was like what wrestler is that.

857
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:11,440
I had to figure it out.

858
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,440
I had to figure it out.

859
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,880
Big show and then the elf tases him right in the balls.

860
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:21,000
And you know what's funny is weirdly I looked at the differences between the two cuts and

861
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,600
that scene is like a one second difference and there's a different on the editing of

862
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,800
how they get taste in the balls on mine.

863
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:33,360
It looked like you went straight up from underneath into directly into his balls like I'm sure

864
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,920
you guys got the same from the front.

865
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:36,920
Yeah.

866
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,800
Oh wait he tased him from the front.

867
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:40,800
He tastes.

868
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:41,800
He keeps from behind in the ball.

869
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:42,800
Ours was more dick.

870
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:43,800
Yours was more balls.

871
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:44,800
Yeah.

872
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:45,800
Gotcha.

873
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:46,800
Gotcha.

874
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,840
He got right on the head of the penis with yours.

875
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,400
Mine was either the asshole or the balls depending on how close you got.

876
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:53,400
All right.

877
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:54,400
Impersonating a cop.

878
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:55,400
That's a fucking felony bro.

879
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:56,400
I'm a detective.

880
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:01,400
There's a lot of felonies in this movie.

881
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,160
You guys call yourselves cop cool or somebody.

882
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,080
I told you I don't have a good Arnold.

883
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,960
Mom's next door petting Ted.

884
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:09,960
What?

885
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,000
I thought that was great.

886
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,800
I thought Sinbad getting some improv at the diner.

887
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,160
That was kind of cool.

888
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:26,240
Sinbad for sure loses his job after throwing the very light envelopes that will give him

889
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:27,760
no advantage in running.

890
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,400
He should drop the bag if anything out of his bag.

891
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,960
So Sinbad's running up the street throwing mail out of his fucking bag.

892
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:34,960
He's lost his job.

893
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:35,960
He's done.

894
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,400
He might quit his job at the beginning of the day because he's he's still with all

895
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,960
of his mail and his uniform and every like at some point he would have put the bag back

896
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,760
or put the bag down somewhere.

897
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:46,760
We don't you're right.

898
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:47,760
We don't know the dark.

899
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,840
This movie focuses a lot on Arnold.

900
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:51,840
Yeah.

901
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,760
But not a lot on Sinbad.

902
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:59,720
By the way out of the two men causing all of the fucking chaos around town who gets

903
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:00,720
arrested?

904
00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:01,720
Sinbad.

905
00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:02,720
The black guy.

906
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:03,720
Yeah.

907
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,040
He even says at one point they call that out in this movie.

908
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,040
What he says?

909
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,240
He says he says that's racist to Arnie at some.

910
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:14,480
No, but I'm talking about literally the end of this movie is the one guy that gets arrested

911
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:15,480
and put into jail.

912
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:21,640
The hero and even in that scene though what what they were arresting him for.

913
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:22,640
He was the bad guy.

914
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:23,640
There was no I kid.

915
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:24,640
I did that.

916
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,840
He was doing something bad.

917
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:31,240
But the moment that the cop who's been aggressively following Arnold.

918
00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,240
Yeah.

919
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,240
What do you recognize?

920
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:34,680
Well, you saw that last day between them.

921
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,840
Once he saw these like what the fuck your tour of it should have been a restless man.

922
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,360
And then Arnold should have flown off with his rocket pack.

923
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,240
And like, you know, that.

924
00:38:43,240 --> 00:38:44,840
But yeah, I don't know.

925
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,840
That Sinbad got the turbo man.

926
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,840
He got the special edition turbo man at the end of the movie.

927
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:54,600
He did, which I actually looks a lot worse because it looks like it has this extra gold

928
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,840
component that makes it so that turbo man's legs don't move.

929
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,760
And so it's more of like a figure piece than it is an action figure.

930
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:01,760
And as a kid.

931
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:02,760
And it's not in a box.

932
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,760
So it already lost its value.

933
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:04,760
So his dad.

934
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:15,240
So Sinbad's kid is going to get a loose, unmovable turbo man statue from his father when he's

935
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,600
like, this isn't what I wanted, Dad.

936
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,080
I wanted turbo man.

937
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,080
I want to.

938
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,080
I want a booster.

939
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,080
I wanted the booster.

940
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:23,080
Uh, Arnold.

941
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:24,080
That would have been funny.

942
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:29,080
At the end, the kids just like, Dad, I want a booster.

943
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:30,080
I never wanted turbo man.

944
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,080
I'm a booster.

945
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,080
Booster was easy.

946
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,480
You got a guy, you don't listen.

947
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:35,480
I'm a booster boy.

948
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,480
You are the worst.

949
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,480
You never listen.

950
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:38,480
Are the worst, Dad.

951
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:39,480
I'm a booster boy.

952
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:43,480
You should know that.

953
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,440
I'm not a turbo Ted or a turbo Ted.

954
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,280
I'm a booster boy.

955
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,560
You don't even know me, Dad.

956
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:55,280
Arnold opening the bomb package is a federal offense.

957
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,280
Yeah.

958
00:39:56,280 --> 00:40:02,040
So, so even though Sinbad faked it was a bomb and threw the bomb next to Arnold's head,

959
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:08,400
and he hears the music box going off, once he opens that mail up, he's committing a felony

960
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,680
offense of opening, tampering with US mail.

961
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,680
So that's just another thing to add onto the thing.

962
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:20,120
Uh, oh, and then, uh, someone actually set a bomb in the mail, which is fucking psychotic.

963
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,120
This world is crazy.

964
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,120
It's like, what's this world coming to?

965
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:31,640
That's like, then we, then we get, uh, the tow truck that doesn't know how to tow truck

966
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,800
and tow trucks his tow truck.

967
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,680
He taxis him home and then tow trucks his truck away.

968
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:41,640
But I also don't think you guys got the scene of him and the tow truck lady talking.

969
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:46,800
So I assume the reason that they tow truck is, is truck away is because it was stripped

970
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,800
down to the fucking, there was nothing.

971
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:52,920
There was no engine, no tires, no doors, but this isn't, but that's not how she was taking

972
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:54,280
it to a chop shop.

973
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,720
I understand that, but that's not how tow trucks work.

974
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:57,720
This is what would happen.

975
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:59,680
Oh, you need to get home.

976
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,240
You live in chest wick or whatever.

977
00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:02,520
I can't take you there.

978
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:03,600
You need to take a taxi there.

979
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:05,720
I'll take your, your car to the junkyard.

980
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:06,720
That's how it would work.

981
00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:11,520
It wouldn't go, Oh, let me, let me give you a ride dragging around your truck, use all

982
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,360
that fuel and expense all the way home first and then go.

983
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,440
I've never had a tow, unless they were dropping my car off at my house.

984
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:23,320
He didn't, or she didn't, she took the truck with her.

985
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:24,320
That's what I'm saying is fuck.

986
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,320
That's not, doesn't make sense.

987
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,440
If you're dropping the car off at home, absolutely.

988
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,360
Cause I've had that done.

989
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:30,360
Yeah.

990
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:36,720
You're, but a tow truck is expensive, but also you guys didn't get the scene where there's

991
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:42,840
a moment where he's practicing what he's going to say to Jamie and his wife about the turbo

992
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,620
mandal to the tow truck lady.

993
00:41:45,620 --> 00:41:47,600
And she's just like, I don't really buy it.

994
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,200
Uh, you need to show some emotion.

995
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:53,200
And then somebody like practices, but Jamie, you know, like, and it's funny.

996
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,240
And I was just like, that's, that's kind of fun.

997
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:57,160
Uh, I don't know why they cut that out.

998
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,340
It was a funny little scene.

999
00:41:58,340 --> 00:42:04,200
But it also maybe undercuts his emotions a little bit later when he's being emotional

1000
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,440
to Jamie telling him that he's sorry.

1001
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,440
Yeah.

1002
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,400
As you saw him just practice it in the car.

1003
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:11,120
So he's a psychopath.

1004
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,960
This guy is a sociopath, uh, punching the reindeer was fucking awesome.

1005
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:20,360
And I love that they become drinking buddies after, oh, that's the part I was thinking

1006
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,640
of after he punches the rain beer reindeer and he's poor beer to the thing.

1007
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:24,640
He's drinking a beer.

1008
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,760
He just, so he's just drinking a beer.

1009
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:32,600
Talking to the reindeer and, and normally there's a moment of clarity that, that there's

1010
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,240
something that happens in a movie.

1011
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:39,040
That's a big call to, to like, like the, the, and the climax instead he's just drinking.

1012
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,680
He goes, no, I'm not going to sit here.

1013
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:42,680
I'm going to win Jamie back.

1014
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,840
And he just stands up and goes kind of lame because he's a doer.

1015
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:47,840
I know he's a doer.

1016
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:48,840
He's a doer.

1017
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:49,840
He's a doer.

1018
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:50,840
You see that in the very beginning.

1019
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,840
I would love to have it work for my company.

1020
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,840
He's the number one, he's my number one employee.

1021
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,320
Number one customer.

1022
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,400
So many licensed characters at this parade.

1023
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:02,400
You got everybody.

1024
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,960
You have the crayons running around.

1025
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,200
Crayola crayons, bro.

1026
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,160
Phil Hartman needs to die.

1027
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:13,160
And then I put his character.

1028
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:17,400
I put that in bad taste because I hope no one thought that at the time because it was

1029
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,600
like two years later.

1030
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:25,920
I put, wait, the cop who was just a cop was everywhere.

1031
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:30,920
And almost knocked out is now on the police float.

1032
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:31,920
He's on the police float.

1033
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,460
He's part of the police.

1034
00:43:33,460 --> 00:43:34,460
So he got burned.

1035
00:43:34,460 --> 00:43:37,840
He had on these like he's all bandaged.

1036
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,840
Oh, that's funny.

1037
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:45,240
So there's the announcers are probably the two best characters in the entire movie.

1038
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:46,520
And I'll tell you why.

1039
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:50,680
At first they're doing they're doing picture perfect.

1040
00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:54,120
This is what Macy Day parade announcers talk like.

1041
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:58,920
Then if you pay attention to what they're saying for the rest of this, they're just

1042
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:04,080
rolling with the punches as if they're news reporters for Turbo Man City.

1043
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:08,080
So at one point that was supposed to be.

1044
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,400
But part of this is that was supposed to be all pre-plan.

1045
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,960
No, but they're but they're and then it was like the way.

1046
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,920
But I don't think they don't think I don't know if they were part.

1047
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,760
I don't know if they had a script.

1048
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:19,760
I don't know if they know.

1049
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,640
I don't think they had lines.

1050
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:26,520
I think they I think the dudes were because they had my said, no, one of the things they

1051
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,600
said is this was not in the script.

1052
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:30,600
That was one of their lines.

1053
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,320
I think either watching their reading a script.

1054
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:39,580
But the thing is, I don't think the line where the guy goes, I guess this is the end of civilization

1055
00:44:39,580 --> 00:44:40,960
as we know it.

1056
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:44,600
I want to believe that's not a scripted moment.

1057
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:51,720
I feel like those two those two were just in the moment watching the this superhero,

1058
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:52,720
super, super mobile fight.

1059
00:44:52,720 --> 00:44:55,200
And he's just like, I guess it's the end of the world is civilization.

1060
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,720
As you know, it was just so I loved it.

1061
00:44:58,720 --> 00:44:59,720
They're really funny.

1062
00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:01,720
They're rolling with it.

1063
00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:07,800
So Turbo Man Arnold gets the Turbo Man suit because some guy called it sick.

1064
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,240
The replacement hadn't shown up.

1065
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:10,800
I mean, you guys are fucked at this time.

1066
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:14,040
At this point, Turbo Man isn't making an appearance.

1067
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,640
The floats about to leave.

1068
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,840
Yeah, you're done.

1069
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:17,840
You scrap it.

1070
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,880
You've already told the announcers, oh, I'm so sorry, Turboman is can't make it.

1071
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,160
He's late or whatever.

1072
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,160
Then you are.

1073
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:26,440
But OK, then Arnold shows up.

1074
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:27,600
You see a muscular guy.

1075
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,240
You're like, this has to be the dude fits him perfectly.

1076
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:31,240
I mean, perfectly.

1077
00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:32,520
Wait, I got to stop you there.

1078
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:33,520
Calibrate.

1079
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:34,520
Yeah.

1080
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:35,520
Do you know who was originally slated to start this?

1081
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:36,520
It was not our sportsman.

1082
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:37,520
John Cloughman.

1083
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:38,520
No.

1084
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:39,520
Oh, wait, I'm going to guess.

1085
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,280
OK, we'll give you a couple of guesses.

1086
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:43,360
Well, Sylvester Stallone.

1087
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,360
You're not going to get it.

1088
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:45,360
You're on the wrong track.

1089
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:46,360
OK, we got it.

1090
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:47,360
It's supposed to be muscular.

1091
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:48,360
Gotcha.

1092
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:49,360
Not even that much.

1093
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,600
So that if I'm thinking what this what this movie would be good with would be a Tim Allen

1094
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:56,160
type or Edward Norton, a Chris Rock type.

1095
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,160
OK, a.

1096
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,160
You're still not close.

1097
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:02,040
Well, you're close on type, but not tight.

1098
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:03,960
OK, hold on.

1099
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:04,960
Skinnier.

1100
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:05,960
Well, a comedian.

1101
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:06,960
It's a comedian.

1102
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:07,960
It's a state of.

1103
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:08,960
Go the other way.

1104
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:09,960
Heavier.

1105
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:10,960
Heavier.

1106
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:11,960
Much heavier.

1107
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,440
Chris Farley.

1108
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,440
Closer.

1109
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:15,440
Very close.

1110
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:16,440
Think of the time it was.

1111
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:17,440
John Candy.

1112
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:18,440
Exactly.

1113
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:19,440
John Candy was supposed to star in this.

1114
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,440
Can you imagine that fight with John Candy?

1115
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,440
I just can't even imagine.

1116
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:22,440
How would they even do that scene?

1117
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:23,440
That's what scenes what made me think of it.

1118
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:24,440
When you start talking about that scene, I'm like, how would they have done this if that

1119
00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:25,440
was John Candy.

1120
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:26,440
Maybe he would have been Booster instead.

1121
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:27,440
Oh, no.

1122
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:28,440
They wouldn't have done that scene.

1123
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:29,440
That was a really good one.

1124
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,440
I mean, I think it's a good one.

1125
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:31,440
It's a good one.

1126
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:32,440
So, I'm not sure.

1127
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:33,440
I mean, I think it's a good one.

1128
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:34,440
I think it's a good one.

1129
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:35,440
I think it's a good one.

1130
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:36,440
Yeah.

1131
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:56,920
Because, look, I know you said this is a bad movie.

1132
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,620
It's not the best, but as far as,

1133
00:46:59,620 --> 00:47:01,560
but if we're going Christmas cheer.

1134
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:03,020
I have a description for it.

1135
00:47:03,020 --> 00:47:04,760
Well, what's your description for it?

1136
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:05,860
Let me find out, wrote it earlier,

1137
00:47:05,860 --> 00:47:07,120
I can't remember, so I wrote it earlier.

1138
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,200
I've got a few more notes while you're looking for it.

1139
00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:13,760
So I think it's crazy, absolutely crazy

1140
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:17,380
that whoever designed these suits

1141
00:47:17,380 --> 00:47:22,380
not only made a working fist that flies out and flies back.

1142
00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:27,400
The batting missiles, the jet pack that works so fucking good.

1143
00:47:30,620 --> 00:47:32,220
Like I could get.

1144
00:47:32,220 --> 00:47:33,960
Well, I liked when he was giving them all the notes

1145
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,740
about the jet pack as they're putting it on.

1146
00:47:35,740 --> 00:47:37,500
He's like, yeah, and we fixed the problem

1147
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:39,060
that he had yesterday.

1148
00:47:39,060 --> 00:47:39,900
Don't worry about that.

1149
00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:40,740
There was a little bit of brain.

1150
00:47:40,740 --> 00:47:43,040
They saw a little bit of brain activity this morning.

1151
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:44,240
That's a good sign.

1152
00:47:44,240 --> 00:47:48,080
Yeah, because that was David Cross, wasn't it?

1153
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:48,920
Oh, was it?

1154
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:49,740
Yeah, I think it was.

1155
00:47:49,740 --> 00:47:51,440
I think it was, yeah.

1156
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,780
And then I put, oh, okay.

1157
00:47:54,780 --> 00:47:57,560
So they built a real quick fire just,

1158
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,960
and then why are those little bad dudes,

1159
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,800
the little Power Ranger looking Teletubby guys,

1160
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,560
why are they actually beating up Turbo Man?

1161
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:12,160
So they're actors in costumes.

1162
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:14,180
They're acting and they have a script

1163
00:48:14,180 --> 00:48:17,400
to beat up on Turbo Man until he throws them around

1164
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,400
or whatever, but they're actually trying

1165
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,740
to fuck up Arnold, these dudes.

1166
00:48:21,740 --> 00:48:22,780
I don't know, I didn't see it that way

1167
00:48:22,780 --> 00:48:24,020
because they were so small.

1168
00:48:24,020 --> 00:48:25,220
Yeah.

1169
00:48:25,220 --> 00:48:26,060
No, no.

1170
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:26,880
It was kind of slapsy.

1171
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:27,720
You hear them too.

1172
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:28,560
They're like, get them guys.

1173
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,720
And they're like, yeah, fuck, you know, mess them up.

1174
00:48:30,720 --> 00:48:32,960
They're like trying to fuck him up and he destroys them.

1175
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,060
I think that's after they were,

1176
00:48:35,060 --> 00:48:36,860
so he started fighting them back.

1177
00:48:36,860 --> 00:48:37,700
Yeah.

1178
00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:39,700
And then it got real.

1179
00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:41,900
Well, I think he died when he crashed on the wall

1180
00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:43,460
and then he died again when he fell.

1181
00:48:43,460 --> 00:48:44,300
Yeah.

1182
00:48:44,300 --> 00:48:48,140
Then where did that group carry Arnold off to?

1183
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:50,640
They just put him on his shoulders

1184
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,920
and just walked off leaving his son and wife behind

1185
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,120
with Ted.

1186
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:55,380
Well, no, Ted just got.

1187
00:48:55,380 --> 00:48:56,220
Ted ran off.

1188
00:48:56,220 --> 00:48:57,040
Yeah.

1189
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:57,880
Weird.

1190
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:58,720
He got eggnog.

1191
00:48:58,720 --> 00:48:59,560
Run off by the way,

1192
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,160
because he sees Arnold getting carried off.

1193
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:02,580
He goes, son, we got to get out of here.

1194
00:49:02,580 --> 00:49:04,920
And then they, and they run away.

1195
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,660
I feel like there had to have been another cut scene.

1196
00:49:06,660 --> 00:49:08,360
I think there's some scene we didn't see

1197
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,300
where he was going to go,

1198
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:10,800
I'm going to kill that motherfucker.

1199
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:11,640
Yeah.

1200
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:12,460
Basically.

1201
00:49:12,460 --> 00:49:13,300
I think there's a cut scene where he pulls up.

1202
00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:14,300
Yeah.

1203
00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:15,140
Where he's like on the shoulders

1204
00:49:15,140 --> 00:49:16,060
and he looks over at Phil and he goes,

1205
00:49:16,060 --> 00:49:17,200
I'm coming.

1206
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:18,040
I'm going to kill you motherfucker.

1207
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:18,880
I'm coming for you motherfucker.

1208
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:19,700
You come next door to me.

1209
00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:21,380
I know where you live bitch.

1210
00:49:22,700 --> 00:49:25,480
And then, so what Brendan missed

1211
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:26,620
when he watched it initially,

1212
00:49:26,620 --> 00:49:28,920
because they put it in the post credits,

1213
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:30,180
but what I got to see,

1214
00:49:30,180 --> 00:49:33,220
because the director made the much wiser decision

1215
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:35,580
to just keep it at the scene that it was part of,

1216
00:49:35,580 --> 00:49:36,820
which is the end scene.

1217
00:49:36,820 --> 00:49:38,660
And I think it would have been better with that scene

1218
00:49:38,660 --> 00:49:40,020
and the Santa singing.

1219
00:49:40,020 --> 00:49:42,000
That's the only two that really mattered, I think.

1220
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,460
I liked the fur lady.

1221
00:49:43,460 --> 00:49:44,760
Well, that was okay.

1222
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:45,760
I don't think it was a pro.

1223
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,440
I think it was too inappropriate probably for the kids.

1224
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,800
I didn't mind the Sinbad seven gun thing,

1225
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,540
but it was a little bit long.

1226
00:49:52,540 --> 00:49:53,380
Maybe.

1227
00:49:53,380 --> 00:49:54,200
Yeah.

1228
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,100
But yeah, the,

1229
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:58,840
what was it just say the?

1230
00:49:58,840 --> 00:49:59,680
The end scene.

1231
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:01,120
Oh, the end scene, which is,

1232
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,080
so in the director's cut with the proper way is,

1233
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:08,580
you get the star of the tree,

1234
00:50:08,580 --> 00:50:10,720
they kiss, and then she says to him,

1235
00:50:10,720 --> 00:50:13,800
she goes, wow, I just,

1236
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,420
it blows my mind how much effort you did

1237
00:50:16,420 --> 00:50:17,860
to get our son that gift.

1238
00:50:18,900 --> 00:50:20,860
You just, you know, like you did so much,

1239
00:50:20,860 --> 00:50:22,840
I can't wait to see what you got me.

1240
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:26,200
And you see him look to the camera

1241
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,440
and open it and go up, you know, like it real, like,

1242
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,080
ah, like, which is awesome.

1243
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:31,920
Yeah.

1244
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:33,480
And it flows way better than.

1245
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:34,320
It flows better, yeah.

1246
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:35,720
I can't even imagine the,

1247
00:50:35,720 --> 00:50:37,520
because they had to change the score then,

1248
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:42,520
because the score of this, didn't feel like the end end

1249
00:50:43,720 --> 00:50:45,020
when he was putting the tree on,

1250
00:50:45,020 --> 00:50:46,320
it felt like there's still some things to come,

1251
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,160
and then they did that, and then we got like a,

1252
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,620
you know, like a more abrupt ending.

1253
00:50:50,620 --> 00:50:52,400
And what it looked like would have been a great set up

1254
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:53,700
for a second one, and maybe they realized,

1255
00:50:53,700 --> 00:50:55,840
maybe that was what their thought process were,

1256
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,600
was originally, is they were planning on doing

1257
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,840
a second one, and then they went,

1258
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,200
guess we're not gonna get a second one in this format.

1259
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:03,640
Arnold's like, I got it.

1260
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:04,880
Probably Arnold's like, I'm not doing this again.

1261
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,140
I'm gonna be Mr. Freeze instead, or.

1262
00:51:06,140 --> 00:51:07,740
I'm gonna be Mr. Freeze instead.

1263
00:51:07,740 --> 00:51:09,780
And I found what I started with,

1264
00:51:09,780 --> 00:51:11,180
like in my written thing,

1265
00:51:11,180 --> 00:51:13,320
when you were saying about how I thought it,

1266
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:15,560
I don't wanna say it's a bad movie,

1267
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,220
but it's objectively a bad movie.

1268
00:51:17,220 --> 00:51:19,820
Like you were talking about how was Sinbad

1269
00:51:19,820 --> 00:51:23,020
and getting the reviews from critics,

1270
00:51:23,020 --> 00:51:25,600
critics would not have liked this movie.

1271
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:26,440
One percent of right.

1272
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:27,800
Yeah, it's one of those.

1273
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:28,640
It's like.

1274
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:29,700
They don't disagree with that.

1275
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:32,380
So what I, like the message of the movie,

1276
00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:33,500
something about materialism

1277
00:51:33,500 --> 00:51:35,180
and the true meaning of Christmas, I guess,

1278
00:51:35,180 --> 00:51:36,680
but it gets lost faster.

1279
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,780
It just gets lost under all the chaos

1280
00:51:38,780 --> 00:51:40,440
and Schwarzenegger's one ladders.

1281
00:51:42,180 --> 00:51:43,520
Is it a good movie?

1282
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:44,360
No.

1283
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:45,680
Is it entertaining?

1284
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,620
It's like watching two drunk uncles fight

1285
00:51:47,620 --> 00:51:49,220
over the last slice of pumpkin pie.

1286
00:51:49,220 --> 00:51:51,560
You know you shouldn't like it,

1287
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,060
but you can't look away.

1288
00:51:53,060 --> 00:51:55,400
It's like once you start watching this movie,

1289
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:57,860
it kinda keeps you in it.

1290
00:51:57,860 --> 00:52:01,360
So I mean, bad movies are ones I turn off.

1291
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:02,200
It's not that.

1292
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,700
It's like, you can't not watch it

1293
00:52:05,700 --> 00:52:06,540
once you start watching it,

1294
00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:10,340
but having seen it once, do I need to see it again?

1295
00:52:10,340 --> 00:52:11,840
Not really.

1296
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,000
It's like that, you know, it's like.

1297
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,340
So you said something.

1298
00:52:17,340 --> 00:52:18,380
Oh, you said it's already.

1299
00:52:18,380 --> 00:52:19,220
It's scary.

1300
00:52:19,220 --> 00:52:20,040
Oh, okay.

1301
00:52:22,020 --> 00:52:24,560
When you brought up the commercialism of this,

1302
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:26,860
which I guess I wasn't super focused on,

1303
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,660
now that you've sort of opened my eyes a little bit,

1304
00:52:30,660 --> 00:52:35,660
I think this is our least Christmassy movie

1305
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,560
on the entire Christmas thing that we've been watching.

1306
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,300
This doesn't feel like Christmas to me anymore.

1307
00:52:42,300 --> 00:52:43,700
Feels more Black Friday, kind of.

1308
00:52:43,700 --> 00:52:45,040
It does feel like Black Friday.

1309
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:46,340
It feels like a Black Friday.

1310
00:52:46,340 --> 00:52:49,180
We should have done this for our Black Friday movie

1311
00:52:49,180 --> 00:52:50,340
instead of what we're gonna do,

1312
00:52:50,340 --> 00:52:53,180
which is, I guess I could say it's Plane.

1313
00:52:53,180 --> 00:52:54,480
Well, it already had passed,

1314
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,280
which was Plane's Trains and Automobiles,

1315
00:52:56,280 --> 00:53:00,980
which for our, it wasn't about the Black Friday-ness,

1316
00:53:00,980 --> 00:53:03,620
it was about the traveling for holidays,

1317
00:53:03,620 --> 00:53:07,700
which would happen, so suck it if you have a problem with that.

1318
00:53:07,700 --> 00:53:09,200
So what was your grade then?

1319
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:11,360
This is a tough one to grade,

1320
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:13,540
because like I said, not a good movie objectively,

1321
00:53:13,540 --> 00:53:17,340
but fun to watch, so you know, it's like,

1322
00:53:17,340 --> 00:53:18,780
but do I wanna see it again?

1323
00:53:18,780 --> 00:53:19,940
No.

1324
00:53:19,940 --> 00:53:22,680
Pretty much anything I don't wanna see again,

1325
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,140
I have to give at least a D,

1326
00:53:24,140 --> 00:53:26,740
but this would be on the high part of that, like a B+.

1327
00:53:26,740 --> 00:53:27,580
D+.

1328
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,320
I went with a C, because...

1329
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:32,660
It's hard to grade this one.

1330
00:53:32,660 --> 00:53:34,860
Yeah, that's why, to me it was hard to grade.

1331
00:53:34,860 --> 00:53:36,820
Because it's like...

1332
00:53:36,820 --> 00:53:38,700
It's hard to watch as an adult.

1333
00:53:38,700 --> 00:53:39,520
Yeah. I'm giving it a high...

1334
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,460
I think if I was a kid, I'd probably give this a B.

1335
00:53:41,460 --> 00:53:42,660
That's what I'm saying.

1336
00:53:42,660 --> 00:53:44,200
As a kid, I would love this one.

1337
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,160
Oh, by the way, if this is your first time listening,

1338
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:49,500
our scale, because we're retarded, is...

1339
00:53:49,500 --> 00:53:51,440
I can't say that word, I'm sorry.

1340
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,240
Is B through W.

1341
00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:55,080
Because we're idiots.

1342
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:56,240
Because we're idiots.

1343
00:53:56,240 --> 00:53:58,380
We're gonna change that in season four, don't worry.

1344
00:53:58,380 --> 00:53:59,520
This is the last part of it.

1345
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,380
We're rounding out the year, we're giving Zach

1346
00:54:02,380 --> 00:54:04,460
his creation a little bit more love

1347
00:54:04,460 --> 00:54:08,520
before we give it a definitive, way better, cooler,

1348
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,660
something to do with a rice pun rating system

1349
00:54:11,660 --> 00:54:13,500
that'll make fucking sense to people.

1350
00:54:15,100 --> 00:54:16,800
But yeah, so, Brendan.

1351
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:19,700
Yeah, it's hard to grade this one,

1352
00:54:19,700 --> 00:54:22,800
especially having watched this movie as a kid,

1353
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:27,040
loving it as a kid, and then still enjoying it later.

1354
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:31,080
And it's like you watch it for certain aspects of it.

1355
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:32,580
It's kind of like Kindergarten Cop.

1356
00:54:32,580 --> 00:54:34,620
Any of Arnold's kids' movies,

1357
00:54:34,620 --> 00:54:36,620
Last Action Hero, Kindergarten Cop,

1358
00:54:36,620 --> 00:54:37,780
I grew up with all of these.

1359
00:54:37,780 --> 00:54:38,980
Oh no, Last Action Hero's a much better movie.

1360
00:54:38,980 --> 00:54:40,660
Oh, it's much better, 100%.

1361
00:54:40,660 --> 00:54:41,800
That's a cool movie.

1362
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,120
But Kindergarten Cop also isn't necessarily a kids' movie.

1363
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:46,600
That feels like a...

1364
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:47,600
Kids' adult movie, kind of.

1365
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:48,740
It's a young adult movie, maybe.

1366
00:54:48,740 --> 00:54:49,960
Is it?

1367
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:51,760
I thought it was rated PG-13 or even R.

1368
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:52,600
It might be.

1369
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:53,900
There might have been a lot of jokes

1370
00:54:53,900 --> 00:54:55,200
that I watched when I was a kid that I didn't get.

1371
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:56,580
That you wouldn't get, yeah.

1372
00:54:56,580 --> 00:54:58,800
But as an adult watching it now, you get it better.

1373
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,280
That's kind of the same with this.

1374
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:01,840
There's some jokes in there that you don't get as a kid.

1375
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:02,920
Well, like the deleted scene

1376
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:05,040
you were talking about earlier was pretty adult.

1377
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:06,220
Yeah, yeah.

1378
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:07,060
Am I tripping?

1379
00:55:07,060 --> 00:55:08,620
Am I thinking of a different movie?

1380
00:55:09,860 --> 00:55:10,720
Kindergarten Cop.

1381
00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:11,560
Kid.

1382
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:14,760
Yeah, I think maybe you're thinking

1383
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,800
about the one with Hulk Hogan.

1384
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,560
It was kind of the same movie.

1385
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:20,640
When it was a nanny.

1386
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:21,460
Yeah.

1387
00:55:21,460 --> 00:55:22,300
What was that movie?

1388
00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:23,140
It kind of the same movie.

1389
00:55:23,140 --> 00:55:23,960
Oh yeah, PG-13.

1390
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,400
I think it was called Nanny.

1391
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:26,640
Because there's violence in this.

1392
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:27,480
I remember the...

1393
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:28,800
Yeah, it's violent, for sure.

1394
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:29,640
Oh, okay.

1395
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,000
Yeah.

1396
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,100
Much better movie, also.

1397
00:55:32,100 --> 00:55:33,180
Much better movie, yes.

1398
00:55:33,180 --> 00:55:34,120
Arnold looks great.

1399
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:36,920
This might be one of Arnold's worst movies.

1400
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,380
It might be, but I enjoyed it.

1401
00:55:39,380 --> 00:55:40,880
We can find out for sure.

1402
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,620
I think overall, I think I gave it a C-minus.

1403
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:45,720
A C-minus.

1404
00:55:45,720 --> 00:55:48,420
So we're looking at a combined.

1405
00:55:49,860 --> 00:55:51,600
Probably a C-minus is probably what it's gonna average.

1406
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:52,800
C-minus, yeah.

1407
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,800
Okay, so C-minus for Christmas minus.

1408
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:56,640
Christmas minus.

1409
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:57,740
For Jingle All the Way.

1410
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,100
Thanks for joining us.

1411
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:05,900
R3, two and a half, put those cookies down.

1412
00:56:05,900 --> 00:56:06,740
Put the cookie down.

1413
00:56:06,740 --> 00:56:07,580
Put the cookie down.

1414
00:56:07,580 --> 00:56:09,120
Yeah.

1415
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:12,820
Yeah, it's three, little three, or two,

1416
00:56:12,820 --> 00:56:16,560
it's two out of five pet and Ted's next door.

1417
00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:18,120
His wife's pet and Ted next door.

1418
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,520
There's nothing he can do about it.

1419
00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:20,360
Do about it.

1420
00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:24,400
You know what, just shout out to Phil Arman.

1421
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:25,900
He was great.

1422
00:56:25,900 --> 00:56:27,400
He was a great comedic actor.

1423
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,240
Yeah.

1424
00:56:28,240 --> 00:56:29,060
Not in this movie, but other than...

1425
00:56:29,060 --> 00:56:30,640
He played the role well, though.

1426
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:34,180
He definitely added that element that you needed for...

1427
00:56:34,180 --> 00:56:35,240
He was a creep.

1428
00:56:35,240 --> 00:56:37,740
Yeah, he was like, your wife's gonna leave you.

1429
00:56:37,740 --> 00:56:39,940
She's gonna come for me once you're gone.

1430
00:56:39,940 --> 00:56:41,420
Made me feel bad, though, wanting to hate him.

1431
00:56:41,420 --> 00:56:42,240
That was the problem.

1432
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:43,520
Yeah.

1433
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:44,360
It's kind of a lot of my problem with it.

1434
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,520
I felt bad for one day.

1435
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,520
I feel like he's played that kind of character.

1436
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,360
Yeah.

1437
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:49,200
I did.

1438
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:50,220
He's played that kind of character

1439
00:56:50,220 --> 00:56:51,560
in a lot of things, though.

1440
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:52,760
Like, Small Soldiers.

1441
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,260
He was kind of like everything.

1442
00:56:54,260 --> 00:56:55,100
Yeah.

1443
00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:56,600
Small Soldiers was kind of similar.

1444
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:57,700
Kind of his character, yeah.

1445
00:56:57,700 --> 00:56:59,200
He's great at it, yeah.

1446
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:02,640
Well, thanks for joining us.

1447
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:05,640
Oh, ho, ho, Merry Christmas stuff.

1448
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,980
And I'm not gonna get back into the mindset,

1449
00:57:08,980 --> 00:57:10,880
because this movie's so not Christmassy.

1450
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:11,720
Yeah.

1451
00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:16,720
So, and that's been another.

1452
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,160
You're saying this sucks all of a sudden.

1453
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:19,980
What the hell?

1454
00:57:19,980 --> 00:57:23,720
And that's been another night of Christmas.

1455
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:28,440
I've been your ho, ho, host, Andy Rice.

1456
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:31,040
We've been fr, fr, fried.

1457
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:37,000
It's been Christmas, and with me as always,

1458
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:42,000
it is Brennan, his chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

1459
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:47,600
Brennan screaming from the pain.

1460
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:49,080
Yes.

1461
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:53,080
I come along with a fire extinguisher.

1462
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:02,720
Merry Christmas, Brennan's balls.

1463
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:04,200
Shipley up to Boston.

1464
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:05,400
Put the joint down.

1465
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,720
Put the joint down with me as always.

1466
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:09,560
Ho, ho, ho.

1467
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:16,520
It's Michael on Donner, on Blitzen, on.

1468
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:19,600
Cellios.

1469
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:20,560
On titties.

1470
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,360
On slapstick.

1471
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:26,880
On crank.

1472
00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:29,580
On heart attacks.

1473
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,400
On Larson.

1474
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:35,400
I'm not a bad guy, I'm just a busy guy.

1475
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,400
He's the bad guy, duh.

1476
00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:43,480
And I'm your host, Andy Rice.

1477
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:47,400
And I hope you've all been on the good list this year,

1478
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,080
but if you've been on the naughty list, that's okay too.

1479
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,200
Merry Christmas.

1480
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:56,360
["A Christmas Song"]

1481
00:58:56,360 --> 00:59:01,360
["A Christmas Song"]

1482
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:31,360
["A Christmas Song"]

1483
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:02,360
["A Christmas Song"]