Music
Train, train!
Uh, eee!
And then train noise
Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga
Is this movie, is this episode going to make us watch an hour of trains?
Another train
Why do they keep talking about trains?
Yeah, they're, uh, cut back to
This would be in a comic book, I'd put a little asterisk
That said, uh, check issue number
Uh, 63 where Andy
Uh, and then got so high
They just put on a train video and just fucking watched
20 minutes of actual train
That's our podcast by the way
It was the episode where we had to watch Singularity so we talked about trains instead
There we go
And welcome everybody to another episode of
Fried Rice Podcast
The only podcast
Where you can
Get fried with me, Andy
Rice, uh, your host
I think, uh,
Hopefully, uh, with me is
Always, uh,
It's, it's my good friend
Brennan
Dun da dun na da da dun dan
Dun da, dun na, dun na
Dun da dun na dun da
Shipley, up to Boston
Remember to trust your news sources
Oh, it's not gonna, no one's gonna
pay off in December, folks.
Brandon doesn't know when our filming schedule works.
So.
It's more for me than anyone else.
He listens to this, and he gets a kick
at his little Easter eggs he leaves
for himself in the future.
With me, as always, it is, Michael,
I think if we, if you and I ended up on a road trip together,
half, at least half of the shenanigans
that went down with these two would go down with us,
you would, of course, gray haired,
straight, straight, me being just a fat piece of shit,
ruining everything.
Larsen.
Hey, everybody.
Would you be the one taking your socks off?
No, well, okay.
I can't imagine that.
I can't either, not at all.
Okay, since, I'm glad you brought that up.
That, so first off, I've been on a plane
where a dude next to me took his shoes off,
and it was gross, and it was just.
Taking the shoes off, as long as you're not
bringing your feet up and touching your feet,
like, okay, keep your feet down there.
The plane is well ventilated enough
to where I'm not gonna smell your feet.
But if you're sitting there playing with your feet,
taking your socks off next to me, yeah, that's gross.
Now, last night, I went and saw Venom, the last dance,
and I was in the, I was at the theaters,
and I hear, like, a little
clicking noise, and I'm like, what the fuck is that?
I'm trying to like, so I'm just kinda casually
looking around.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
And I look, and right in front of me,
to the right, in between the little fucking gap
in the seats, I see a woman cutting her fucking nails.
Oh, her toenails.
No, her fingernails.
At the, just literally, just.
In the movie theater?
At the movie theater, just a little light,
she's just in the light, just clipping her fucking nails.
Broad view of just anybody.
It was like packed, I mean, everyone was there.
Why?
I don't know, I got so, I pointed it out to my dad,
he almost threw up.
He saw it, he was like, oh, what the fuck?
He had to stop eating popcorn for a second,
he was like, that's gross, dude.
I'm like, that's the most disgusting,
I'm sorry if you're listening.
It's regular fingernails, not toenails.
Still.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's weird, unhinged behavior.
Sometimes you use a fingernail clip,
or you clip it, and it'll fly.
Yeah.
So somebody's popcorn,
somebody was eating some fingernails.
Oh, that's gross.
Who was in the splash zone, were you?
No, I was behind.
Well, sometimes they fly backwards.
No, I was up, and behind.
They go up and behind.
Up and back.
Well, there was that one little bit of gristle
I couldn't quite chew down.
Oh, and then just the cherry on the sundae
for this little, this kind of a shitty movie experience.
Movie was great, my dad had a good time,
but they didn't play the previews.
What?
They literally, movie's supposed to start at 645,
kept us sitting there until 705,
and then they started Venom.
They just kept us.
What theater were you at?
The Riverside.
That's weird.
So they do previews normally,
so we're sitting there, and I'm literally,
I'm looking at my, 655 comes around like,
Main reason I go to the movies.
Yeah.
Did I fuck, did I mess up the time of this?
And eventually two people, I was about to get up,
then I saw people getting up and going,
and one guy came back and he said,
loudly enough for me to hear,
I think to his wife who was cutting her nails,
he was just like, he's like,
yeah, they're just not playing the previews,
the movie will just start
when the previews are supposed to end.
I'm like, okay, well, couldn't you just play the movie then?
Yeah.
Give us like, play it 10 minutes early?
Yeah.
Play it on time?
Yeah.
I mean, for you, isn't that kind of a good thing?
Because you don't like seeing the trailers.
I don't like previews.
Yeah.
I don't like previews.
Yeah.
Is it a good thing?
No.
Because I sat for 25 minutes doing.
You didn't have a conversation with your dad?
I looked at YouTube videos,
but here's the problem with movie theater conversations.
It's quiet.
So you can't have a personal conversation.
That's true.
You have to have a very vague,
how's the weather?
Let's talk, not politics.
Let's not get into it right now.
Small talk.
Small talk, but you know.
If you're with your dad, there's not, you know,
it's just, yeah.
And so we were looking at, I showed him Moudang,
the baby hippo and I, you know,
but still, what a weird experience.
Yeah.
So anyway, let's get into the movie.
Oh wait, oh yeah, sorry.
This is a regular episode.
This is a, what are we smoking?
I have Fade Co.
It's the free stuff you get from Story Cannabis
when you buy, when you spend over X amount of dollars.
They give you some Fade Co.
Premium indoor.
And I don't know.
There's a reason it's free.
Yeah, it's fine.
I still have an eighth of that that I haven't opened
that I want to turn into butter.
Yeah, that's what you,
I might turn some of this into butter.
It's, this is velvet pie.
You guys actually know how to do that?
Yeah.
There's no special to, you just pretty much melt it.
ChatGPT.
I mean, so like you want to decarbonate the weed.
So you like kind of want to put your flour in the oven
at a low temperature for like 20, 30 minutes,
kind of burn off like outside layers
that are kind of bad for it.
Break it down and then obviously melt your butter down
in a double boiler.
And then drop your flour in there.
Let it kind of simmer for an hour or two.
And then after that,
then you just strain it out with a cheesecloth
and let it solidify.
And I mean, if you want to get fancier with it
while it's still liquid,
you could skim off the top layer
and then you have clarified butter.
Oh.
Well, what's the difference between clarified butter?
It just takes out like the bad fatties,
the fats and stuff like that.
Yeah, it takes the fats off.
Yeah, it's what like-
The butter you dip your lobster when you go to the-
It's clarified butter.
Like they melt it and then all the stuff
that flows to the top, they skim it.
Oh. Yeah.
So it's pretty good.
Clarified butter, ghee.
That's what it's called.
Ghee, yeah, ghee and is that Indian?
Indian. Indian, yeah.
Oh, very cool.
Yeah.
That's what I brought.
And then yours sounds interesting.
Yeah, I brought Zana is the brand and it is cereal milk.
And it's pretty good.
Yeah. I've been liking it.
I do like that they do have their whole terpene profiles
on the jar, even though I don't really understand
what it means, but it's still kind of cool to see that.
Yeah.
32% THC.
Let's look at these terpenes.
Yeah, we've got, well, of course,
you got to have your 1.3 milligrams of myrosine.
2.8 of lilalool.
That sounds fake.
3.4 of limonene.
I think they made up all these words.
They probably did.
Well, limonene sounds-
Legit, someone let us know in the comments.
Yeah.
This is cookies times cherry pie times snowman,
or crossed with.
Cookies crossed with cherry pie crossed with snowman.
You actually times it, but-
That's good.
It's almost got like a creamy taste to it too,
so it's kind of interesting.
Call it cereal milk and have it kind of taste,
kind of like cereal.
Yeah, no, that's great.
I like milky kind of flavors.
I like cereal milk.
Yeah.
I went to, when I first started vaping,
like the tobacco vape,
I was looking for flavors,
and I remember some dude looked down on me
because I was like, I asked the guy,
the little bud tender, not bud tender,
but the vape guy, I was like,
I'm looking for something deserty,
you know, like creamy, like milky or whatever.
He's like, oh yeah, cool, we got some of those.
But then some guy next to me is like,
okay, did you just start?
And I was like, what do you mean?
Did you just start vaping?
I was like, well, yeah, so he was like,
yeah, everyone who just starts like the dessert flavors.
I think once you've been vaping for a while,
you like harder, more fruity, sour flavors.
His voice sounded like that too,
because he's been vaping so long,
he can't talk anymore.
And I'm like, oh, okay.
I'll just take this creamy cereal milk,
fruity pebbles one, please.
And I walked, yeah.
Never went back, never stopped.
I didn't go back there.
No.
Because that dude was like,
douche.
I like to hang out here, man.
Like he'd get like a little seat,
and he would just vape at the seat
and hang out with the other dude.
There's a weird culture for sure.
In the start of the vaping industry.
Well, and it's like that giant store
they built down in town.
Yeah.
It's gotta be money laundering.
Yeah, I was like, it's gotta be.
How many people are going in that store
and buying those?
Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you,
you don't have a vape store as big as the vape store
we have here in our town.
Someone took what probably was a Kmart.
Furniture store.
Oh, furniture store.
It was a furniture store.
And turned a furniture store, ladies and gentlemen,
and turned it into a vape empire.
Do they sell glass there too,
or is it just vape stuff?
Just vape.
It's just vape stuff?
Just vape stuff.
All the juices that could ever exist,
I think, in one room.
They like manufacturing it there?
No, I mean, maybe.
I actually, so, I went to a place once,
and they're like, all right, what flavor do you like?
And I was like, okay, this one.
It's like, what milligram do you want?
I was like, okay, I'll do the one milligram too,
whatever it was.
They just took it, pulled out a little syringe of nicotine,
and just dropped it in there and stirred it up.
I was like.
That's, my buddy made his own for a while.
Because you could just buy all the different,
the PG and the VG stuff, and mix it all together.
And then the nicotine as well.
The only thing about the nicotine is extremely.
Poisonous.
Yeah, corrosive.
So you had to be very careful when dealing with nicotine
in general, because it can be corrosive.
You know what?
I stole, well, I mean, this was high school,
so I think I can admit to it.
But I like swiped a bottle of nicotine
out of my science teacher's lab.
Like a little bottle.
I never used it.
I was, my ideas were probably more sinister.
Like I think I was gonna either poison someone with it, or.
Yeah, because like an eyedropper of that.
Get someone addicted. In a drink will make a person violently.
Yeah, so in my mind, I didn't want to do that.
In my mind, what I wanted to do is put like a drop.
Get someone addicted to something.
Addicted to water.
But then I didn't do any research.
Yeah, and so I then just,
I never did anything with the bottle.
I just.
Kept it for a bit, threw it away.
No, I think it's still somewhere.
There's a very expired bottle of old nicotine somewhere.
In your parents' house somewhere.
Somewhere in the other house.
Oh, that's funny.
Yeah, I probably tucked it away so good
that the other family. Hit it in the wall.
15 years ago, I haven't found it, 10 years ago.
But yeah, so that's What Are We Smoking?
Excellent.
The movie this week is a fucking classic,
and we are ramping up for the holiday season.
Thanksgiving just ended.
Yeah, it's coming up the after Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving just ended.
I hope you all had a wonderful turkey day.
I got to spend it with Mike and Brandon, probably.
Hopefully that's the plan.
I go to each one of their houses
and I double up on food,
and I tell the same stories over and over again,
but it's fine.
They haven't heard them.
Play blue with my kid.
I play bluey.
I pretend to be, I'm bluey, hello.
It's great.
And we're now getting into the holiday season.
So I thought, all right,
what better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than a movie
all about traveling home for Thanksgiving
to come out the day after Thanksgiving?
So planes, trains, and automobiles.
Starring John Candy and Steve Martin.
This is such a fucking classic.
If you have not seen it, stop right now.
Go watch it.
Come back.
Listen to us afterwards.
So, oh, you know I like an opening credits
that tells you what a movie's about,
and this opening credits is just plane noises,
train noises, and automobile noises.
And the fastest scrolling I've ever seen of a title.
And that's the only credit in the beginning.
It's just that title.
It scrolls so fast.
It's great.
I had to rewind it, actually.
I thought I was on fast forward.
I was like, it's so fast.
Am I watching this at handy speed?
Yes.
So, yeah, I loved it.
Super quick.
There, oh, so we're introduced to Steve Martin.
He's trying to get home for the holidays,
and right off the bat, you said earlier,
you were like, do we get a surprise cameo from a,
not a cameo, a bit part,
because he wasn't famous at this point,
of Kevin Bacon and Steve Martin trying to run
to catch a taxi.
I put, this is why six degrees of Kevin Bacon is so easy.
He's fucking everywhere.
It's just you can't be, he's trying to take your taxi, Kev.
He's so young, and what's amazing,
when you look at him in this,
and then you look at Steve Martin,
and Steve Martin looks exactly the same.
And Kevin Bacon looks like a kid.
Yeah, that's crazy.
This is before Tremors.
This is before,
what was earlier?
Well, because that was a reference
to another one of his movies.
I read in the trivia, I forgot what movie it was,
but it was a scene taken from one of his movies,
but it's like him racing with a,
like a bike, person on a bike,
instead of like Steve Martin.
I forgot what movie it was though.
So they just did a direct like reference to that.
So if you were a fan of that other movie
that was maybe popular,
you would've gotten a kick out of that scene,
having Steve Martin race against him.
Yeah, exactly.
Because I think it was like one of his movies
that was popular at the time.
It was like one of the movies
that came out right before that.
Well, if you find it, let me know.
Footloose?
Not Footloose, yeah.
That'd be great.
Oh, because he wasn't in New York
against a bike passenger.
My controversial take at the top of this,
maybe not that controversial,
is I don't think John Cady's character,
Dale, does anything wrong in this movie.
Like he does a lot of things accidentally,
he's clumsy, sure, but he's not at one point,
does he do anything maliciously wrong.
Oh, it's never malicious.
To impede their journey or to hurt anybody.
Did you find out what movie it was?
I gotta hold on.
I'm gonna miss it.
I gotta look too different.
It's okay, you know what?
Just forget it.
Just forget it, we'll come back.
Because now you have to go into Prime Video
to look at their trivia?
Yeah, that's where it was.
That's for, no, it's not worth it.
It's not worth it.
It's okay.
That's fine.
Yeah, even though I gave you the password last week.
I just haven't turned it on.
That's okay.
So that's my thing, I don't think Dale
does anything wrong in this movie.
He's a sweet guy.
He's, so,
Katie, but then my next note is
Dale taking his shoes off.
Right, which is gross.
Which we talked about.
I think that's super gross.
I think we should absolutely ban that.
It should be outlawed.
The movie was Quicksilver.
Oh, okay.
I'm sure that there's one of our listeners right now
that's losing their fucking mind.
Quicksilver 1980s.
They're like, it's Quicksilver!
Quicksilver!
Uh, screaming at us.
I thought it was, Ben Stein should have,
one of the names should have been like,
Bueller. Bueller.
That would have been funny,
but I don't think that was out yet.
I'm not taking Bobby's taxi.
If I had, if that pulled up in front of me,
I'm calling a different taxi company.
Not doing it.
He was in a hurry.
Yeah, but ridiculous.
Just wanna take him the scenic route.
But I like how John Cain is just like,
or Dale's just tries to make friends with everybody.
It's sweet.
I really like his character and he's super sweet.
I think Steve Martin's a fucking prick in this
and I don't think he ever gets redeemed.
At the end a little bit,
but I still think it's too little too late.
And I think if Dale wasn't alone,
he would have, and had more self-respect,
he would have realized that.
And like earlier on in the movie,
would have told fucking Neil to fuck off.
Because-
What he did eventually though, basically.
He sorta had a stern talking to,
but then like immediately,
but then remember he turns his head
to see if he's looking.
Yeah.
Using it just because he was lonely.
He was lonely.
That's kind of the story of the whole story.
Yeah.
Lonely Dale.
Very lonely.
We don't find out why until the last scene
of the movie, basically.
I actually, maybe it's because I've seen the movie
so many times, but I was just like,
they gotta make it apparent that his wife's dead.
Like he has a big framed picture of her
that he brings out and puts on his nightstand every night.
That seems like your wife's dead shit.
It seems like a traveling salesman who misses his life.
Yeah, he's a traveling salesman.
So he hasn't, you know, he hadn't been home in eight years.
Yeah.
Yeah, again, I think I have watchers bias.
Yeah, you've seen it before.
Yeah, that's why.
Although I wanna say,
traveling salesman for shower curtain rings,
maybe the dumbest.
Yeah.
But.
It was the eighties.
Pre-internet.
Pre-internet eighties.
How were people supposed to know
what shower ring curtains they wanted?
So.
Sears.
I'm just thinking, well, I mean, obviously.
Sears was the round.
Yeah.
I think there was a catalog.
Walmart.
Walmart existed.
It wasn't 1922.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, this wasn't the Dust Bowl.
Great Depression.
He's trying to like.
No, but I think he specifically was going to hotels and stuff.
I think he was going to like.
Businesses.
Or the one that went to businesses,
to like Home Depot or Ace Hardware
and sold them to shower curtains or whatever.
I get that and I know,
but usually I don't think it's one item like that.
I think those kinds of salesmen have a lot of things.
Well, he.
Not one item.
But that was, no, no, he had a sample pouch
that had a bunch of them in there.
But I'm saying they would sell shower curtain rings
and shower curtains and different things for the shower.
Yeah.
One item.
Shower caddy.
Yeah.
So that's a little silly.
You're right.
I think the guy, well, Steve Martin, John, isn't much better.
He just works with a guy that can't tell the difference.
Did you guys watch the post credit?
No, I fell asleep.
So I didn't finish it.
I let it play for a couple of minutes
and didn't think there was one.
Oh, you gotta let it play to the end.
So the post credit, it cuts back to the executive guy.
And he's still looking at the pictures.
Yeah.
So that was pretty funny.
We OK, so I think at one point, Dale pulls a lighter out
to read by the light of his lighter.
I'm like, that's stupid.
Well, speaking of lighters, that's
one of the things I've noticed stands out in this movie now.
Watching this movie today, there is smoke everywhere.
It's so weird.
Every office, every train station.
Oh, people smoking the entire time.
People were smoking.
At the restaurant.
Everywhere.
And it's.
Dude.
My first thought during that scene
when they're all smoking in the restaurants is like,
God, it must have sucked to have been a dishwasher back then
because you just cigarette butts everywhere.
Just everything.
Everything.
To be a customer back then.
Yeah, because there was no escaping.
There was no escaping.
Oh, well, for sure, we were kids when there's still
smoking sections, right?
But there were sections not everywhere.
Yeah.
Or here.
But then you.
But when you have a smoking section,
the whole place smells like smoke.
But there's restaurants in some of the casinos that have
smoking sections still.
Like.
Here?
Yeah.
At the Avi.
The.
There's a smoking section in the restaurant, the Avi?
I think there's the Road Runner Cafe.
Do they not have a smoking section?
I don't think so anymore.
I feel like I've been there.
The Road Runner.
I think they used to.
I do remember them having one.
I feel like since moving out here,
with my old boss.
The Road Runner Cafe on the parkway?
On Avi.
No, he's talking about at the Avi.
At the Avi.
Or they have a cafe there.
And I think in the cafe, there's a smoking section.
That's interesting.
Because.
Casinos are like the only place left that has that much
smoke in them.
If you go to the Golden Nugget, you go to the restaurant there.
There's no smoking in it.
But the whole restaurant smells like smoke
because it's so close to the floor.
Yeah.
And that's probably why they.
Don't have a smoking section in there.
Because you can just step out on the floor
and have your drags come back in.
And that might be why there's a smoking section
in the other one.
Because it already smells like smoke.
It's so close.
And they're like, fuck it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But I'm so glad that there's not all that secondhand fucking
smoke everywhere now in the world.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm a smoker.
And I prefer non-smoking in restaurants.
Because I want to eat my food.
And then if I want to go smoke, I'll go outside.
I went to non-smoking.
Yeah.
It's never been.
Like, I've never smoked in my house.
Yeah.
It is hard to be a smoker now.
Like, go to amusement park and try to be a smoker.
There's one or two smoking sections.
You got to go outside the park.
Most of them, you got to go outside the park and come back
in.
Or you bring a fucking vape.
And hide it.
And you hide it.
Or you sneak off.
Yeah.
Which I don't do that.
I can't do that.
I can't.
I see people all day when I'm at theme parks.
And I want to just go out and find the smoking section
and go.
And I'm just like, fuck it.
I use Zen pouches or something like that instead.
But I just see people walk around hitting their vapes
and crowds of people.
I'm like, I can't fucking do that.
I'm not that guy.
I wouldn't do it in a crowded person.
I find it as secluded of an area as I can.
Like, in Disneyland, if you go to the Bugs Life area,
there's a family bathroom that's pretty solid to go hit some
weed in.
Right by the scents.
And there's the scent things over there.
Like, it has the smells of the flowers.
Oh.
Yeah.
You can hide your smell.
You can hide your smell, yeah.
I didn't know that.
See, I don't smell.
So I wonder if that was just an added bonus
when we never got caught.
Interesting.
But that's why your friend suggested
to go over there, probably.
Yeah.
I know you can't smell it.
But it smells good over here.
Yeah, that must be it.
But yeah.
Also, if you go to be a smoker at an airport,
some airports are ridiculous.
Like, the smoking situation, either you
have to go outside the airport completely.
Or I was traveling.
I went to South Carolina.
The airport there, the smoking section
was like this indoor box thing.
Oh, god.
That's what St. Louis had.
You had to double your exposure of the smoke.
You're sitting there, everyone's just chain smoking.
Hot box.
It's gross, dude.
Probably reek when you come in.
I don't know, because I think we were talking
about this because of this movie.
No one hardly, I mean, you smoke,
but one of very few anymore.
There's not.
Yeah.
The restaurant industry is notoriously bad for smokers.
It has a lot of smokers.
Yeah.
And even we're down under 50% now.
And it used to be 100% of restaurants.
Yeah.
And we're under 50% now, I'd say.
And other places, I think it's under like, I'm guessing
maybe 10% of people anymore.
I think the vapes and other things like that
have kind of changed it.
The vapes have taken it away, yeah.
So it's like everybody vapes now instead.
Vapes or Zins, they do some sort of nicotine absorption
another way.
Or they don't.
Well, yeah, because nicotine's not bad for you.
I mean, obviously you can overdose on it.
But it's not, as far as doing any damage to you,
nicotine's fine.
You can have all the Zin you want, and it can do anything.
Nicotine's actually, yeah, it helps.
It's actually a stimulant.
It helps you.
It makes your brain work faster.
It does.
OK.
Want to try?
No.
It took me so long to stop.
He's like, I don't want to get addicted to something else.
See if it keeps you on track.
No, I've had Zins.
It's not for me.
I am trying this other one.
It's called Cannadips.
And they're like hemp.
Hemp and CBD.
Oh, no, we might have to try that.
Yeah, I got, well, I made an order.
And then they sent me two automatic orders
that they signed me up for.
And I'm like, I got to stop that.
So I got a bunch of them that I'll bring and give you guys
a try.
I want to try that, yeah.
The ones that I went through was there
was these ones that were THC-P. It's
a different THC derivative.
And they were OK.
They kind of just give you a mild buzz, which was not bad.
But the main ones that I really like right now
are their CBN and melatonin.
Fucking great for sleep.
I pop one in, and 30 minutes later, I'm like, OK.
Spit it out, and I'm like, all right, bed, out.
Oh, because it's a little pouch.
Yeah, it's a little pouch.
And then it's, yeah, melatonin kicks in pretty quickly.
Yeah, that's dope.
Oh, yeah.
But I don't want to get into a pouch system right now.
These ones, I'll let you at least try it.
It's CBD.
It's hemp and it's CBD.
It's nothing addictive.
All right, I'll try that one.
I don't want anything.
I don't care if it hurts me or not.
I don't want to be addicted to anything other than weed, food.
There's nothing to be addicted to.
Self-hatred.
Podcast that no one listens to.
Yeah.
Taking notes about a movie that people have done much better
coverage over the years.
Speaking of which, I think his speech against,
I think Neil's speech to Dale was totally fucked up,
like so mean, so uncalled for.
That should have been the end of it right there.
Are you talking about in the hotel room?
In the hotel room.
Yeah, right before they go to bed.
But, well, I mean, there's no excuse for it.
But holy shit, the.
I mean, I'm sure there's someone that you've wanted
to say stuff like that to.
Me?
You mean?
Brendan?
No, not you.
I'm not saying you.
I'm saying you've probably met people in your life
that you've wanted to say that to.
That like, you know, that coworker or something
that you don't like that wants to tell you all these stories.
And you're like, I don't.
The person who didn't tip.
Yeah, the person who didn't tip that's like,
I really appreciate you.
I actually want to say to them.
Yeah.
Wait, you were saying earlier a coworker that
tells you all these stories.
Are you trying to say something to me?
No.
About me being the coworker that says a lot of stories?
I wouldn't be here if I didn't enjoy it.
Well, I mean, the gun to your head doesn't hurt.
That's true.
That's the only reason I'm here.
Help.
Well, you know, it's like Dell.
The computer?
No, Dell.
Oh, damn.
Sorry.
He's like the.
He's like a St. Bernard.
Yes.
That's probably the best thing I can think.
Big old clumsy, all the Chinese shop by lovable bullet
and chance.
Yeah, he screws up all the time, shits in your yard,
whatever.
But you still got to love it.
Yeah.
He's going to slobber in your food that you just made it.
Yeah, it's going to suck.
But you still have to take care of him.
You can't yell at him.
Yeah.
It's fucked up.
So there's a lot, whole lot of pig
assholes in a transition scene.
There's one scene where it just cuts to whatever.
There's all these pigs, but they're all facing away
from the camera.
And it's just six or seven just big old gaping pig assholes.
And I was like, God damn, John Hughes.
John Hughes.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Had to sneak it in there somewhere.
Sneak in those fucking assholes somewhere else, bro.
Best scene is, of course, Dell.
Why are you kissing my ear?
Or why did you kiss my ear?
Why are you holding my hand?
Where's your other hand?
It's between two pillows.
Those aren't pillows?
And then they stand up.
Oh, God.
Hell of a game last week.
That's the greatest part.
Yeah.
I love it.
So good.
That's the best line.
When I was telling my dad that we were reviewing this earlier,
that was the one he quoted to.
It's so good.
So perfectly done.
Movies want to be a comedy.
That's how you make a comedy.
You know what I mean?
Super good.
I put, literally my next note was
smoking in restaurants.
Glad that's over.
So we were just talking about it.
The dude on the bus was straight up sucking his girlfriend's
titties when they were on that bus.
And they must have fucked because they were both
having a post-coital cigarette.
That was a quick one, though.
It's fine.
They're gone.
It's like 10 seconds.
Yeah.
Right when they turned their heads, they turned back.
That was gross.
Yeah, telling him, take a picture at last line,
I was like, get a fucking room.
Yeah.
Get a room.
And I love Dale's response where he just laughs.
He's like, ha ha ha.
He got you.
Now, you guys might be young, but I've
traveled on bus many times.
Because back in the day, that's how you had to do it.
Because planes were expensive when I was a kid.
I'm surprised their planes existed.
Yeah.
But I have seen these things on buses.
I've seen people fuck on buses.
I've seen people do everything on buses.
If you could take a Greyhound back in the day
across the country, the things you would see were amazing.
Well, I know one of my buddies, he, like our senior year,
he ended up moving to Pennsylvania, kind of.
And when he moved back, he couldn't afford to fly back,
so he Greyhound back.
It took him a week and a half to get back from Pennsylvania.
It's insane.
And he, yeah.
I was like, how much did you spend?
He was like, it was like $100.
I'm like, was it worth it?
And he's like, god, no.
Well, no, because you don't realize when you're a kid
and you're doing that shit, I did this once.
And I had to go from California back to Texas, right?
And it took like three days on the bus.
Multiple buses, like three days on Greyhound.
But you don't realize when you go, well,
it was like $89 then, but a plane was like $600.
But I think I spent like $450 anyway on food and shit.
So you don't even think about it when you're doing it,
but it costs just as much.
In the bus driver's mind, or at least that company,
they're like, this is an experience.
You're getting a cross-country road trip
without having the expense of your own car, so enjoy it.
They don't think like this is you're trying to,
I know it's economy, but fuck.
Yeah, it's expensive.
I'm not ever going to travel.
Don't do it.
I don't want to do it.
No, god no.
I'll walk instead if I have to.
Yeah.
You and me walk.
I'll just stay home.
But yeah, there was a lot of, I mean,
he was just straight up motorboating his fucking girlfriend
on the bus.
Damn, Neil is fucking mean when he says, let's go.
I can't fucking do my own writing.
But I think it's like, well, let's go different directions.
I think it's time that we started going our,
like we started heading our separate ways.
That was just like, again.
That was when they were hopping on the train, wasn't it?
Yeah, oh, I couldn't get two seats together.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm sorry.
I tried.
I would have liked to have seen a scene maybe where
we know for sure that he didn't try.
Because part of me almost thinks he did.
But then this is the point where he's like, fuck you, Dale.
Still.
I'm guessing he didn't.
I don't think he did.
OK.
The trucks, so they get the train.
The train breaks down.
They rent the car.
And that's where we get the rental car scene.
So now the train comes.
So we get a C-Mart.
He goes and he gets a train.
Or he rents a car.
And he gets dropped off by a shuttle
in the middle of a parking lot that looks like it's acres wide.
And it's like Z5.
It's the only spot that doesn't have a fucking car in it.
He throws the fucking things like, fuck, yeah, shit.
And he goes back inside.
And he starts just laying into the rental car worker.
Hello, how can I help you?
By finding my fucking car, getting me a fucking ride out
of this fucking dump because I'm on my fucking way home
to fucking Thanksgiving.
I want to see my fucking wife, my fucking kids,
and I'm tired of this fucking day.
Thank you.
And she's like, looks, I don't appreciate the tow.
I don't give a fuck if you don't.
He just keeps going at her.
And then she goes, all right, do you have the rental agreement?
He says, no, I threw it the fuck away.
And she says, oh, dear.
And it looks like you're fucked.
And it's just perfect delivery.
So good.
Perfect delivery.
So good.
One of the best.
I love it.
Anyone that works in customer service is like, yes,
this is how I want to handle a customer like that.
Fucking dream would be to lay into somebody like that.
What's the other?
Oh, the trucks.
So when they get their car, and Dale,
it ends up being the worst driver ever, kind of.
Like, keeps fucking around.
And at some point, he throws a cigarette butt in the back,
and starts warming things up.
It's the point where he has to take his coat off.
His coat gets stuck.
He ends up driving, almost crashing.
And Steve Martin wakes up slowly.
And he's like, oh, what the?
What happened?
He's like, well, we almost hit a deer.
Oh, OK.
All right, well, let's get back on the road.
They go the wrong way.
And that's one of the best scenes,
is that other couple going, you're going the wrong way.
And Steve Martin saying, they say we're going the wrong way.
And Dale's saying, how do they know where we're going?
And him saying, that's a good point.
That's like a Cheech and Chong bit right there.
They must be drinking.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so well written.
And then they look at it, the two semis.
Yeah.
No.
And I was like, those trucks didn't slow down,
didn't pull apart, didn't break afterwards,
did nothing but almost kill this fucking car.
Like, no.
You would hear, it should have been
a bunch of screeching noises.
And then he pulls his fingers out of the dash.
And then the steering wheel's all bent down.
Yeah, that's great.
It's all melted afterwards, which is,
and then the truck, the car runs later.
They get pulled over, and they get a wasted cameo
from whoever that was, the cop.
I've seen him in other things.
He's been an episode of Buffy, but I know that's not
where you guys would know him from.
But he's a character actor.
You've seen him in other things.
But wasted, because it's like a nothing cameo,
just a regular cop role that could
have been played by anybody.
So maybe he wasn't the cameo.
Could have been earlier in his career, yeah.
Yeah, maybe it wasn't anybody.
Maybe that was just a cameo, getting him started,
or like a bit role.
Just a bit role, yeah.
Oh, OK.
Interesting.
OK, the, oh, yeah, poor Dale, the speech in the car
by himself in the snow, like to his dead wife,
when he's like.
His name is Dell, by the way.
You keep saying Dale, and it is Dell.
Like the computer?
Yeah, well, with 1L, but yeah.
All right, well, I didn't know.
I wasn't reading subtitles.
I was listening.
They said Dale the whole time.
But yeah, so Dell, Dell's little speech
when he's sitting there in the snow in the car,
just getting snowed on, he's like, I'm a fucking disgrace.
You know, like he feels bad for himself.
And he's like, really?
And I'm like, poor Dell.
Like, that's fucked up, bro.
I kind of felt that way about Dell through the whole movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, poor, poor sweet Dell.
I think that's what they want you to feel, for the most part.
Even though you want to relate with Steve Martin's character
a little bit, because he's just trying
to get home for the holidays.
But he's also extremely agitated with just everything
that's going on.
And then you got Dell.
And he's not making it.
I feel like I do relate more to Steve Martin knowing this,
honestly, because I've flown Spirit Airlines.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, god.
I'm glad I've never done that.
Closest I came to that was Southwest.
I just saw a meme where some chick was like,
you find out that the love of your life
splurged on plane tickets for you to go meet him.
And then you find out Spirit Airlines.
And I was like, OK.
First off, be happy that he bought you a ticket.
Don't bitch that Spirit Airlines.
But my next two notes on here, after no seat belts,
just pointing out that there's no seat belt in the car,
my next two notes is exactly what it is.
Am I Dell?
Or am I Neil?
Because I am Dell to a certain degree.
But I'm also very much Neil, because I'm more Neil than Dell.
I wish I was more Dell.
That's the thing.
I wish I was more Dell, but I'm more Neil.
Honestly.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of a tough one.
Yeah, I want to be Dell.
Yeah.
You know, but I.
I fuck everything up.
It's so hard.
I fuck everything up.
But I also get annoyed at other people very easily.
Yeah.
So if you could somehow combine these two characters,
that's me.
The montage.
OK.
They get back to Chicago, and they say their goodbyes
or whatever.
The montage where Steve Martin Neil
is figuring out that Dell's wife is dead is heartbreaking.
Yeah.
Heartbreaking, because he's thinking about his family.
He's thinking about whatever.
And then he thinks about Dell, and giving them
the look of like, oh, your wife.
You know, nothing but the love of a good wife.
And Dell looks at him like, yeah, yeah.
I haven't been home in years.
You know, like that kind of stuff.
Heartbreaking.
I teared up.
When he finally realizes that his wife is dead.
Yeah.
Literally, my next note.
What are you doing here?
Yeah.
My next note.
OK.
I'm crying.
So I hope they're friends forever was my next note.
Yeah, I hope that they just remain friends.
I hope that this is the start of a very good friendship
between the two of them.
And that anytime Dell's in town Chicago,
he absolutely comes by for dinner with Neil.
Becomes a part of the family.
That's how they leave it, want you to feel.
It's like, hey, it's going to be like, hey, Dell, you
come home for the holidays.
And you'll live your life, but you come home
and you spend it with us.
That's how I'd like this.
And it's the exact same plot and due date.
Yeah.
So Brendan brought up earlier due date
is in a modern adaptation, but very similar concept.
Two dudes trying to get home for a baby being born instead of,
well, not both of them.
Zach Galifianakis trying to get out there for a.
Being an actor.
Yeah, actor.
He's trying to be an actor.
So he's not in any rush.
Yeah.
Well, sort of.
I think he's got a no reputation.
Yeah, and I think Zach Galifianakis more kind
of sabotages so that he has to go with him.
That's the main difference is he sabotages more,
whereas Dell, it's kind of just coincidence.
It's yeah, it's and then John Hughes.
I was like, no wonder it's so fucking good.
Best holiday traveling movie by far in the post credit scene
is pretty great.
The boss of the.
Yeah, I didn't see that.
Yeah, I think this is a master class in comedy.
I've watched it my whole life.
I remember my mom showing it to me when we were young.
When I was younger, I had it on VHS.
This is definitely something I watched constantly
through holiday season.
Really, this is the first time I've watched it,
like a November watching instead of like, I guess,
a Christmas watching.
I think I always think it's a they're
trying to get home for Christmas,
but it's Thanksgiving.
And so this is a really good Thanksgiving movie,
which there's not a lot of.
You don't have a lot of Thanksgiving themed movies.
There is one that flies under the radar, no pun intended.
Thanksgiving?
Called Freebird.
Oh, Freebird was great.
Freebird is great.
Solid.
If you haven't seen Freebird and you like the Thanksgiving
holiday, it is a underrated gem.
It's computer animated.
It's one of those silly made for kids type movies,
but it's about a turkey trying to not
get eaten on Thanksgiving.
Like, he's trying to get free from being killed or whatever.
And it's great.
Super good.
Super funny movie.
Way better than it had any right to be, I felt.
And then there's also Jim Henson has
a very kind of magical, if you're
into the cozy cottage core vibe, early 90s sort of thing.
It's called Hollow, something of Hollow Grove.
Oh, boy.
I had it in my head just a second ago.
And then I said Jim Henson.
Tree Hollow?
There's something.
Look it up.
I don't know, Jim Henson.
And look for Jim Henson Thanksgiving movie, please.
One of you.
Something that the Hollow of Trees giving,
the give Hollow Tree something or other.
And so that's pretty great.
And then obviously there's Turkey Hollow.
Turkey Hollow.
Jesus, I was close.
You were close.
And they're Muppets.
Yeah.
I was really close.
Oh, it's Muppets.
That's awesome.
Yeah, well, it's Jim Henson.
Jim Henson corporate.
And they do puppetry.
Yeah, it's puppets.
Yeah, you can see that.
Yeah.
OK.
So it's like it's in a forest.
It's in Turkey Hollow, which is like a town, a cozy little town.
That is Disney plus R prime right now.
Yeah.
Like, I think it's worth the shot, worth the watch.
Yeah.
So I love John Candy.
You know, rest in peace.
I wish we had more of him.
Oh, everybody.
I wish that he was.
And he just.
Could you imagine his cameo in only murders?
Oh, the character he would have played in whatever room
that he could have played in or any of the movies
he would have been in if he was still alive.
They could have made a Spaceballs 2.
They could have, yeah.
Uncle Buck 2.
Another case of somebody who just wouldn't stop eating,
basically.
Was that what it was that he died from?
Just heart attack.
Heart attack?
Because I wasn't sure if it was that or was it
that he was drug overdosed too?
No, because Chris Farley was drug overdosed.
That's Chris Farley.
Yeah, fuck, dude.
He was also sad.
He was just a fatty fat fat man that just liked to eat.
Well, I mean, he lived his life then.
43 years of it.
Did he eat?
43 years.
That's it.
Damn.
43.
Yeah, wow.
43.
It's right around the corner.
And all I do is eat.
Am I John Candy fat?
You're not that big.
No, you're not that big.
Not that big.
Not even close.
Well, I don't think not close.
You've got plenty of time.
You're probably half the size of John Candy.
I'm closer to John Candy.
I'm more John Andy than I am John Candy right now.
Yeah.
I'm like John Sausage more than Candy because of all the high
fatty protein.
It's just this time of year.
Well, I give this movie a B+.
It's one of my absolute favorite holiday movies.
Yeah.
Traveling movie.
There is not even that.
I don't think there's anything that doesn't age well.
Yeah, I don't think there's any.
You could say there are a few online when I was watching this
and reading about it.
There were a few people complaining
about my favorite scene in the movie.
The pillow scene.
Oh, afterwards.
How they have to be super straight after each other.
Yeah.
But that also.
That's just machismo.
But it wasn't anything bad.
Yeah, that's not silly.
That's going too far.
That's where this goes too far.
They didn't say afterwards, oh, yeah, no, I never touch a dick.
I'm not gay.
Hey, I'm not some fucking whatever.
It's like go down that line or whatever.
They literally were just like, oh, hey, all right,
how about that sports game?
And then just tried to ignore the fact that it happened.
Right.
There was actually a lot of, I mean, think about it.
That's intimate.
John Cain, he was kissing Steve Martin's ear for this movie.
So it doesn't seem, and they didn't do it in a way that.
No, they did it so well.
It's never going to.
It's not going to be.
And John Hughes is not going to make an anti gay film.
No, obviously.
Wait, before we say that, let's review his work.
And we could review his work and see if there's any any gay jokes.
There is any gay jokes and any John.
Breakfast.
Lots of gay jokes.
Well, they're like bad, like anti bad ones.
I don't think anti.
I don't think even Breakfast Club or 16 Candles,
I don't think there's any like anti gay or like I don't even
think they touch on any of it.
Well, maybe, maybe.
Because is it low duck, dog or whatever his name is in that one?
The super bad racial stereotype of the age you get.
Well, there's OK.
So there's there's bad racial stereotypes.
But I don't think there's anti.
I don't think there's a cool.
So John Hughes, you pass the Bechtel test for gay rights.
For gay rights.
But of course, not for not for racist, not for racist, racist asshole.
Nobody black people were in this movie.
I didn't see any zero.
I believe I mean, probably in a crowd or whatever.
But really, would you put money on the black people in the crowd?
I would put money on it.
But I'm guessing it running to a city.
No, in that one scene.
Yes, I would put money on there was black people in the crowd walking
in that one scene in New York City, because actually one of my notes
was I could never, ever, ever.
I'm not sure I could even visit.
I want to visit.
I want to, but I don't.
Right.
That many people I cannot that crowd when he's when he looks out
after the cab and you can see the sea of people.
Oh, yeah.
I don't think I could be in that crowd.
Maybe if I was alone, like not with my family, not having to keep an eye
on everybody, if I was alone, that's fine.
Yeah.
And then I have to worry about anyone else.
But when I'm having to worry about my kids and stuff, fuck no.
Fuck no.
I would go see a Broadway show, maybe go to the top of the Empire State
building, do that thing where you lead on the glass as long as I wait
appropriate.
And then you do the slide thing.
There's like a out there's like a window outdoor slide thing.
Oh, well, if it's glass, it's like a glass.
Hell no.
Have you seen that?
Have you seen that video?
Speaking of that video of the people in China, they have that bridge.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
The fake breaks underneath you.
Yeah.
The one that terrifies me more is the one where they're climbing along
the mountainside and they have like the clips, but they're not really
it's like old and not really secured.
Like it's like it leads to a temple of some sort.
So a devil's leap, I think it's called in in Utah.
Is that the same one?
It's yeah.
No, no.
I would I would do some crazy shit.
Not much of a daredevil.
No, I did the slingshot at the fair.
No, I did that one.
I do a base jump in the Grand Canyon.
Base jump tandem.
I'm not going to.
I'm not.
I've watched videos of people doing it and it looks fun, but like, no,
still.
I've gone skydiving and loved.
See, I got based out of a plane.
Yes, but I'm not doing it.
I was playing not doing it by choice.
When I was in the army, I had to do it.
It's different.
But these people that go do it for fun.
There's nothing fun about that.
I had a great time.
That plane's going to fucking land.
Yeah, but I need to jump out there first.
But the parachute, I like to double speed.
The parachutes you guys use, you guys didn't have like any way to control
them, though, right?
Really tiny, tiny.
You're just kind of really going where you're going.
Where you go, where they drop you.
You made were made out of a saber tooth tiger pelt.
So you had to hunt.
That was a lot tougher, Mike.
I grew up in the nylon was has been invented.
Jump out because people stop peddling the plane engine.
Yeah, but I do.
That's what I had in my head.
Oh, and then this Flintstones.
Meet the Flintstones, meet the average modern family.
I don't know the words.
That was right.
Yeah, the average modern family.
What I said.
Meet the average modern family.
Yeah.
Some people are in the town of Springfield.
Bedrock.
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
Yeah, it's bedrock.
You just confused your cartoons.
Well, no, I actually did the I did the Simpsons opening.
Where you go, Homer, Homer Simpson.
He's the biggest man in history from the town of Springfield.
He's about to hit a chestnut tree.
Jump, then he hits one.
Yeah, that's great.
Oh, but he also does the whistle.
And he goes, you have an avenue?
And he goes down the slide with uranium
because he's at the power plant.
So yeah, B plus for me.
Brandon, what's your thoughts?
I love this movie.
Like you, I also grew up watching it.
My dad showed it to me at a young age
and was like, you're going to love it.
And I did.
And I mean, one day I will watch it with my kids as well.
I keep trying to get my teenager to watch
kind of some of these movies.
But he's more into like the serious or like kind
of action movies from like the 90s and 2000s.
Like he just watched Fight Club.
And he wants movies like that.
Or over the top, dirty humor.
He doesn't really want like good classic humor.
But I do, I give it a B plus as well.
Both movies we watched, they were B pluses.
Yeah, I'm also a B plus.
I will say, I don't think they could make this movie today.
Because it would be too unrealistic.
Yeah, because what would happen?
Airport.
Security.
That would be, that would have been a whole extra 10
minutes of movie.
Him getting through security.
Yeah.
That would be a completely different movie.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
The movie said you couldn't make it today.
The airport scene alone would be a completely different vibe
post 9-11.
Well, no, because even today, who
wants to sit for two hours and watching people
lit on their cell phones and their thing?
They just sit on their cell phones and their.
That's true.
Doing nothing.
Yeah, doing nothing.
You're not going to strike up a conversation
with a stranger anymore.
It doesn't even happen.
That's why what I'm hoping to get.
I'm not sure it's a better thing.
Yeah.
What I hope we get more of is a resurgence.
You know how in the 90s and early 2000s,
we had a lot of movies that took place in the 80s?
I want more stuff to take place in the 90s, pre-cell phones.
I want there to be a distinct historical.
What's the line that was pre-cell phone?
2000.
Pre-2000?
Yeah.
So pre-Y2K era.
I think it was kind of like after 9-11 was
when parents were like, my kid needs to have a phone just
in case anything happens.
I think that pushed the urge.
That pushed the urge to get your kids cell phones.
Do you think big cell phone was behind 9-11?
I'm not even touching that one, Andy.
Does Motorola melt steel beams?
But seriously, I mean, even if you go to a restaurant now
and you look around, people aren't even conversing anymore.
They're on their phones.
Constantly, yeah.
It's like maybe the downfall of civilization.
Thank fucking God, Mike.
Are you kidding me?
I go to a restaurant.
You think it's to talk to strangers?
No, even their own family.
Yeah, he's talking even at the table.
Yeah, you're right.
I make my family put their phones away at the restaurant.
No, no, no, that's silly.
I just went.
I am never on my phone.
You went to a stranger's.
Yeah, I did.
I'm actually probably one of the,
I'm not trying to toot my own horn,
but I'm never on my phone.
I'm not on my phone communicating or scrolling
through Facebook a lot.
I do use it for YouTube when I am out and about
and I need YouTube on the go.
But for the most part, yeah, I'm willing to put my phone down
and have a conversation.
You're big on chat GTP, too.
Chat GPP?
Chat GTP.
It is my friend and lord and savior, but other than that,
no.
I mean, yeah, I have to.
You used to have to go ask a stranger for directions,
for example.
I'm just saying, it was like, it's such a different world now.
That was a huge trope in films back in the day,
like men won't stop and ask for directions.
And now we don't have to.
Right.
Now we don't have to.
Never had to stop and ask for directions.
But it's so different.
So all the things like in this movie, it would never happen.
You would never strike up that conversation in the airport
with the guy.
Yeah, that's true.
It just wouldn't happen at all.
I think Duday kind of handled some of that well,
because to stop him from flying, he got kicked off the plane
and then banned from flying for something
that happened on the plane with him and Zach Galifianakis
character.
So they both got kicked off.
They were banned from it.
And that's how they ended up meeting each other.
And then something happens with the rental car.
They only have one car, kind of same situation.
And then they end up sharing the car.
And that's kind of.
Harold and Kumar smashed their cell phones
pairing using paranoia.
Yeah, because they're stoned.
Yeah.
Now I'm trying to think how many movies have to eliminate
cell phones from the plot device to make it work.
Any modern horror movie has to do something.
You have to figure out something.
Horror for sure has to do.
Because those kids will all be just taking pictures of them.
Yeah.
Like, you know, posting online.
So yeah, like, OK, so the new screen movie,
the newest screen movie that came out like last year,
definitely had teens on their phones and stuff.
They didn't get rid of that aspect.
It's not get rid of.
I think we now have to, you have to just smartly incorporate
cell phones in.
Jammer or something.
Well, not even jam it.
It's just like, Terrifier, for instance.
You just have to have it so that their phone isn't on them.
I think that's the most unrealistic thing ever.
Yeah.
Is like a teen doesn't have their phone
in their fucking hand at all times.
So yeah, you got to do either like an EMP blast
if you can get away with one of those or.
Well, now they have those little devices that the skimmer
devices people keep in their pocket
and they're using to steal card information and stuff
like that.
They can add that into plots.
You know.
Yeah.
And now there's all these plots that involve cell phones.
So you know, like the cell.
The cell, yeah.
Whatever.
So there's I mean, there's good and bad to it.
I'm just saying that in the real world, you don't.
These situations just don't happen.
You don't really interact with people.
What movie did the guy rig little explosives or bullets
to the inside of cell phones so that when they picked it up
and shot.
I think you're thinking of real life what they just did
with pagers in Israel or in.
Oh, Jesus.
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
But I'm saying that they did just do it in real life.
Made them in pager bombs.
They made pager bombs.
They gave all that they took.
They got somehow the massage, I guess, infiltrated the self
of the pager company.
And so because all the terrorists were using pagers
to communicate because they could track cell phones.
So they were all using pagers.
So they infiltrated this pager company
and sent out thousands of cell phones or pagers
with little bombs.
Well, yeah, and made them all go up at once.
Hold on.
Before I say, no, I didn't.
I'm going to look into it extensively.
But.
Terrorists, you said.
You said the terrorists got blowed up.
Yeah.
OK, so then good.
Yeah, no, it's yeah.
No, when I say good, obviously, I'm not pro-terrorism.
But devil's advocate, I most of the time
don't know what terrorists are fighting for.
I just know that.
Neither do they.
It's just old hatred.
They don't remember why.
Yeah, and especially don't know enough
about the Middle Eastern conflict
to have a side one or the other.
So like this last election, I promise you,
Gaza and Israel played no role in my decision making
because I don't know enough about the situation.
And there's nothing I could do to help or hinder
or I wouldn't even know who to help.
You know what I mean?
So yeah, in that situation, I'm hoping
the bad terrorists got blown up with the pagers.
Well, there were a couple of.
Kids and stuff like that that also got.
Because now I feel like a jerk saying, oh, good, how dare you?
It's just, yeah, I'm a monster.
But I mean, that is cool.
But I think the movie I'm thinking of now
that I have it in my head is it's got Gerard Butler,
Jamie Foxx.
That's a law abiding citizen.
Law abiding citizen is a great movie.
I love that.
I think he rigs the cell phones to shoot,
like have a bullet inside the shoe for one of them.
Yeah, I think it was a judge.
Yeah, there we go.
The chick.
Yeah.
Have you seen law abiding citizen?
Yeah, yeah.
Great.
Well, we should do that.
That was a great one.
That was really good.
Well, starting season four, ladies and gentlemen,
we have open rain as to any movies.
We're going to be able to pick anything we want.
So moving forward next year, if Mike picks something close
to as bad as Singularity, that was on purpose, intentional,
and he means war.
So just so if he did, no matter what
happens in the following episode, he deserves it.
I think it's going to make it.
I did not pick.
That is not our worst movie.
So that's true.
It is not our worst movie.
Which one was the worst one?
Sleepwalk Kill.
Sleepwalk Kill is my worst.
Or Dot Dot Dot if you don't stop, you'll go blind.
Dot Dot, yeah, that's pretty bad.
Which I miss both of those.
And then there was the one, you know.
Our rating system, because we just gave it a B plus
and said it was a perfect movie for playing
straights on automobiles.
Our rating system is B through F and then W for wasted time.
So a B plus is as high as we go.
That's going to change in a few weeks
when we go into our new season.
We're going to have a brand new system in play.
But oh, we here on the show like to do a little thing
in honor of Austin, which is called Recreational
Recommendations.
Beep boop.
That's our tribute to Austin.
That's my tribute.
It's not as good, but I'll try.
He does great.
So I watched Alien Romulus.
I thought it was fucking awesome.
I think it might be my favorite Alien movie.
It's so fucking good.
The guy who plays the cyborg is outstanding.
It's he I mean, he sort of it's like he
I wouldn't even say he carries the movie on his back
because the movie outside of him is also really fucking good.
But it's like if the movie outside of him was bad,
it'd still be a great movie because of him.
And I feel like without him, the movie still
would have been a great movie.
So combine the two, it honestly what a stellar ass fucking film.
Did you read the comic book that you were coming up to?
So I did read the comic book afterwards.
And the comic book is a prequel.
I don't want to give away too much about,
but this is a direct sequel to Alien.
To the original Alien?
The original Alien?
So the original Alien, we all know that Ellen, well,
here's spoilers, sorry, if you don't want Alien,
just skip ahead of confidence.
But the 1980s.
Yeah.
Spoiler.
Ellen Ripley shoots it out the airlock.
Right.
OK.
So that alien is just traveling through space.
This deals with that problem.
This deals with Whalen Corp knowing
that there's an alien traveling through space
and sending a ship out to retrieve it
because it wants to know what this perfect organism is.
And they calculate where it is going to be.
And yeah.
So 20-ish years later, 25 years later, they snatch the thing.
And you see, so the opening of this movie
is them capturing it, like them taking it into the ship.
So that's not what the movie's about.
But if you read the comic book, you
find out what happened to that crew,
how the alien got out of their ship or whatever
and doing its thing, right?
So this is actually like a direct sequel to the comic book.
No, but the movie, though.
Because the movie, just think of like Alien 1 ends,
alien gets shot out.
This would be, I think, maybe even the most
prologically close to that first movie there is 20 years
later.
So Ripley's like drifting this way,
and they're going this way for the alien?
Yeah.
And so they find it, and they bring it into like a science
ship.
But the main characters are a group
of people on a mining planet that want to get off
this mining planet.
And when they find out that there's
a ship that just drifted into their area,
they take a ship to go check it out.
And that's the station that has the alien on it.
And then it's already gone down.
Yeah, so it's a small crew going into this empty ship, empty,
you know, whatever.
So that's where we get the alien movie from.
Or that's where we get the aliening of it all.
It could have just been left alone,
but they just had to go check it out kind of deal.
The Android, so good.
Anyway, I don't want to give, I've already probably
given away too much.
But that's basically the first 10 minutes.
The first five minutes.
And this one's supposed to be really scary, isn't it?
There's a lot of jump scares.
I don't get scared by alien movies.
I don't think they're that scary.
I don't think the alien, I think if I ran into one
in real life, of course.
But if I ran into Scooby Doo in real life, I'd be freaked out.
Because like, would you rather?
Scooby Doo if you ran into him in real life.
I would.
Would you rather you gave us the other day was pretty good?
Did you give that one to Mike?
Oh, no, I haven't.
You can answer this in the comments if you want.
Would you rather be trapped on a space station or spaceship
with one alien, Xenomorph, or trapped in the city you
currently live in with one Terminator chasing you down?
They're both trying to get you.
After me specifically.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Tough one.
And I thought about this because.
I think I'm going to have to go with the ship just
because of the collateral damage.
You eliminate some of the possible collateral damage.
That's smart.
That's a very good reason.
That's a good point.
That's good logic.
I would probably pick the spaceship
because I would get an opportunity to go space.
See, and I chose the spaceship because A,
this is an extremely small town, and B, there's not very
many Brennans in the world.
Yeah, he'd be able to find.
I'd be found quick.
It'd be easy to find.
Yeah, I'd be found quick.
I'd be found quick.
Yeah.
Plus.
Michael, I could just hide anywhere.
Yeah, there's Michael and Andy.
Yeah, those are pretty common.
Dude, Terminator, he likes to shoot first.
Yeah.
And he will get a big ass fucking machine gun
and just tear up homes to find you, right?
Yeah.
I'd be dead in the first five minutes of that movie.
100%.
Me too.
Alien, I'd have maybe at least 30 minutes.
Come with me if you want to live.
I don't know you, man.
And then I run away.
What the fuck is this freak telling me?
Come with me if I want to live.
What the fuck is that all about?
Oh, god, Andy, you're freaking out.
All right, calm down.
And then.
I think you would accept it.
I think with all the movies you've seen
and how you live your life, I think of some random person
was like, hey, come with me now.
You need to live.
Andy Rice, come with me now.
He'd be like, all right, let's go.
Where are we going?
I'd be like, what wormhole did you come through?
Yeah.
What universe are you from?
But now you're opening up.
If we do have any obsessive fans out there that want to stalk
me and kidnap me.
All I got to do is come to your door.
Andy Rice, I'm here to protest.
You got to kill me.
Yeah.
I did once.
Which is great.
I hope we have a fan like that.
Jesus, I don't.
Well.
I think you do have one fan like that, don't you, Andy?
Well, I don't know.
We're not getting into anything.
I don't know what you're implying,
but I don't want to get into it right now.
You don't want a Selena situation?
Oh, no, I don't want a Selena situation.
I don't know what that.
So like, I don't have the housemaids.
The biggest fan that killed her?
Yeah.
Was it her housemate or was it a fan?
It was a fan.
The head of her fan club.
Yeah, head of her fan club killed her, yeah.
Jesus.
I did once completely ignore what
would have been a movie scene worth of terror and panic
that should have pointed me in the wrong direction.
I was driving once, and it was weirdly,
I was on what would have been a regularly busy street,
and there was nobody kind of on the street
except for a dude who was running.
So I'm driving, and this guy's running
the opposite direction.
He's waving me down, and he's telling me
to go the other way.
And I was like, I don't know what the fuck this is all about.
And I maybe should turn around.
I keep going.
A woman is running, and she's also telling me
to turn around and go away.
I didn't.
I just kept going, and I went home.
Nothing happened.
Ha ha.
To this day, no idea what the fuck happened.
I just went home.
See, I thought you were going to talk about the delivery night
when you came across the person in the street.
Which one?
When you're on your way back from a delivery.
Which one?
This is Bullhead.
I guess that's true.
Oh, shit.
The dead body?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
That's what I thought you were going to talk about.
Oh, god.
That was a rough one.
Yeah.
Thanks for reminding me of that.
That was so often.
You almost double run over a corpse.
Yeah, that was, oh, Jesus.
Almost double run over.
Did you run it over one time?
No, no, no.
You never told us about the first time, Andy.
If it got ran over by someone else,
I would have been the second run over.
But I really happened that night, Andy.
Dude, that was so trashy.
I remember pulling up behind him and then going, oh, shit.
That's a body.
And there's a guy.
But I was on delivery.
So I was like, someone else will stop.
I kept going.
But I remember the guy going, oh, no.
Oh, god.
What have I done?
I think it's OK to stop and call the police.
Yeah.
In that situation, they'll just make another piece.
Just call the store and let them know.
Yeah.
It's OK.
You can stop.
I wasn't the only driver.
OK.
I didn't want to lose any of those.
OK.
For being honest.
Look, I'm sure it was taken care of.
Here's my thought.
That guy who ran over the person.
Called the cops already.
He had a choice to make.
And I didn't want to have any part in it.
If he drove off and wanted to live the I just ran over
somebody and left life, who am I to stop him from doing that?
The deed was done.
I don't think this dude getting out of his car and going, oh,
god.
What have I done?
Did it intentionally.
He wasn't trying to kill probably a homeless guy that
collapsed in the street.
Then he ran him over.
So.
Yeah.
Well, the way people walk on sidewalks here,
he probably stepped off as the guy was going off.
That's probably what happened.
I had a chick, I think, intentionally
tried to suicide herself by car when
I was coming around one of the corners.
She made eye contact with me and then started to step out.
And I was like, what the?
And I had to go into the other lane.
And as I did it, there was a car behind me who also
he had to break because I got into the lane or whatever.
He pulls up next to me at the red light.
He rolls down his window and looks at me.
He's like, what the fuck was that?
I was like, not at me, but I was like, I was like,
I think she was trying to.
And he's like, I think she was trying to.
And we're like, whoa.
We're both kind of freaked out because it
was a near eye contact right at the corner too.
So as I'm coming around and she makes eye and step,
I'm like, holy shit, my heart was racing.
I bet.
Oh.
Anyway, thanks, Mike.
That wasn't what I meant.
That wasn't my traumatic thing I wanted to talk about.
Mine, my recommendation thing is
dinner time live.
And yes, it's familiar with David Chang.
He's my friend from Golden State Farms
where we worked in a security business.
David Chang.
David Chang is a chef, a mobile food show.
OK.
He did a lot of television.
Is he a lot of guest judges and guest hosts and stuff
on cooking channel stuff?
Back in the day, I think he did.
This is on Netflix, dinner time live.
And what it is, it's a show done live real time.
Like, oh, OK.
It's on Tuesdays.
Wow.
I watch it recorded because I work Tuesdays.
But it's literally, he goes in and does like three or four
courses in an hour live for usually two celebrity guests.
That's cool.
A lot of comedians, a couple boxers, just different people.
So it's like the Cooking with Burt Kreischer's podcast
only done.
But a real chef.
Not rubbing his nose every five seconds.
Washing his hands and everything.
Yeah.
Oh, that's gross.
It's like, yeah.
Burt, yeah.
Yeah.
That's a funny one too.
But yeah, that sounds awesome.
But this is much better than that.
What's it on?
It's on Netflix.
OK.
It's called Dinner Time Live.
There's two seasons now.
They're in their second season.
They're doing holiday stuff right now.
Oh, nice.
So it's just a fantastic show to watch.
Yeah, it sounds great.
It's my wife who doesn't even cook.
I mean, she'll frozen whatever, but she doesn't really cook.
Loves it too.
Now are they like the?
Because it's entertaining as well as.
Are they like traditional fine dining recipes?
Or just like?
Some of them.
I've seen now some of the most amazing things
like white truffles just shaved like forever.
And I've seen a tub of caviar as big as that chair right there.
Jesus.
It's big around that chair.
Not as tall.
But like, and eating the whole thing, two people
eating the whole damn thing on there.
Would you like no bread?
Would you challenge yourself to try to make the meal
at the same time as they're cooking?
You can't.
I would try to write the recipe down and replicate it myself.
Yes.
Like you would want to do it on your own time.
Like it's when I when I when I go to cook something
I haven't cooked before, I do it as fast.
Yeah, I watch multiple people cook the same dish
different ways so I can kind of see different techniques,
different styles, different seasonings that they use.
So that way I can kind of figure out what works for my palate
and what I like.
Like anytime I anytime like Thanksgiving is coming up
and I'm going to be smoking my turkey.
And I've done it the last three years.
But I'm still going to for the week and a half leading up to it
going to be just watching videos of different people doing
different methods.
That's your turkey pork.
It is.
It's yeah.
It's it's anytime I smoke something.
When I do brisket, when I do anything, like it's it's just
I sit there and I smoked meat porn and you just sit back
and you just go.
Yeah.
Well, and I'm more like, OK, how am I going to execute this?
Like what am I going to do?
Because I want I want it to turn out great.
I don't want it to be mediocre.
I want it to be fantastic.
I want people to be like, that's the best fucking turkey I've
had.
You know, that's that's my goal.
I want to be the only one disappointed in it.
That's one of the reasons this show is so good
because that's the way he is a lot.
He's like he wants the people to enjoy that are there as guests.
It's not it's so less about the cooking and more about them
interactions and them enjoying it.
That's cool.
It's a very cool show.
That sounds like, yeah, it's a fun.
You sit down.
What would brainless?
Yeah, that sounds that sounds good.
I like that.
Did you got a wreck?
Yeah, speaking of Netflix, I watched the Mr.
McMahon documentary on there and I recommended it.
It was pretty good.
It was enjoyable.
A lot of shit.
They don't want to what an asshole you.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
They go into it and they kind of go
into how blended the Mr. McMahon character is with reality
and how it's kind of just him but more dramatic, obviously.
They lightly touched on the sexual allegations
because it kind of happened while they're
making the documentary.
And they don't really touch on too much after the fact
because I think now he's actually back working
with the WWE again.
I think he left twice and then I think he came back again now
because I think he got acquitted of everything.
I think all of that got settled somehow, some way, whether.
It's called millions of dollars.
Yeah.
Paid him out.
Exactly.
It's called owning WWE.
Hush money.
Paying hush money.
Is Stephanie McMahon his real daughter?
Yes.
OK, did she marry him?
Stephanie and Shane.
And she's really married to AAA.
Yes.
But it wasn't the storyline.
I mean, it wasn't the storyline.
But that stuff is all so close to reality of those.
And that's what the documentary touched on a lot,
is how he revolutionized it by blending reality
with these storylines and making these storylines seem
like to where it's hard to tell what's real and what's fake.
Because people know that the action is not necessarily fake
but it's choreographed.
So they know that that's choreographed.
But they can't tell the difference
between these characters and the people playing the characters.
That means I can.
You can, yes.
Because sometimes they get really mad at each other
in real life.
In real life, yeah.
And then they kind of write it in.
Yeah.
And in the middle of a match, they'll
get mad at each other and give each other receipts.
Yeah.
Smack each other for real.
For real.
Exactly, yeah.
Mr. Manda, and that's on Netflix?
On Netflix.
It was great.
I think it's like a five part thing.
One thing.
No.
You shouldn't complain, Andy.
You're going to watch it at 4x speed.
I mean, I worked my way through it for like a week.
I was falling asleep to it and kind of just picking up
where I left off.
Because I watched during the Attitude era.
And it was kind of like when I watched
wrestling when I was a kid.
Me too.
Stone Cold.
Yeah, The Rock.
The Undertaker.
Yep.
Rock.
Mankind.
Big Show.
Yeah.
And then afterwards.
Rey Mysterio Jr.
So funny that we all talk about wrestling.
Love it.
I love it.
From the era before that.
Yeah.
Well, actually, really, there were two eras before that.
Your Hulk Hogan Ultimate Warrior.
Well, that was the height of mine.
The one before that, even, is where I started.
When I was a kid, it was.
That was when it was like smaller.
Yeah, it was smaller.
And it was a lot of locals.
A lot of locals.
Yeah, it'd be like the attorney, Jim Norton.
Well, they touched on like when he first took over
for his dad, like how they were regional.
There was different wrestling leagues,
and they were all regional.
And then Vince McMahon was like, nah, fuck that.
I'm taking him.
Because the region that I was in down in Dallas.
Was Von Erics.
There was all the Von Erics.
That whole region was run by the Von Erics.
Yeah.
And he took over everything.
Yeah, he kind of took over everything.
If you, there's a show, I believe it's called Heels?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, starring, I watched the first season of this.
It stars the guy that played Arrow and another dude.
And they play, they're two brothers whose father dies,
and they take over the wrestling business.
And it's a local, regional kind of wrestling
that they're trying to compete with bigger ones like a W.
Not W, but they're trying to compete with other ones.
And they're, yeah, it's like one brother's
coming back into the fold.
The other one is the one that's like, loves it,
and you know, breathes.
You know, he's like the guy that, the responsible one.
And it's like great, great show.
I loved the first season.
I forgot, I forgot they made more.
But I liked it a lot.
It's dramatic.
It's good.
We can also go back on Peacock and watch any WrestleMania
you want or any.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah, they're all on there.
I started, like after the documentary,
I was like, you know what, I'm going to look on Peacock,
see what they have.
And I went back and watched like WrestleMania 2000.
I was like, I remember this one.
You know, I mean, I got like maybe 30, 40 minutes in,
and I was like, all right.
You're not doing a four hour WrestleMania.
No, no.
I skipped a few matches and stuff.
I'm like, I don't even remember any of these people.
I'm a Royal Rumble guy.
Royal Rumble was always fun.
That's just more my thing.
I liked playing Royal Rumble when it came to the.
Because it was cool how to be all those guys in the ring
at one time.
And the N64 version of the Royal Rumble was awesome.
Because you're just tossing motherfuckers out of the ring.
20, 30 people loved it.
Yeah.
It's so funny now, though, because y'all have grown up
the whole time knowing it's fake.
Yeah.
You guys thought it was real.
We thought it was real when we were kids.
Yeah.
Because they would never, they would never.
Have you ever seen the, I think it was on, not Jimmy Kimmel,
but one of the late night shows.
When the wrestlers go on.
Andy Kaufman?
Yes.
That, were you, how old were you?
Or was it the one?
I wasn't sure.
Andy Kaufman wrestled a dude.
He got his ass beat or whatever.
Also, an interview with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T,
where they actually hit the interviewer
because he was calling it fake.
Right.
And they choked him out.
Yeah.
And then he fell and hit his head.
And he was bleeding.
Oh, shit.
No, he sued the fuck out of them.
They were playing it off as real back then.
Yeah.
They were literally really trying
to convince people that it was real.
But there's definitely real athleticism in it.
Oh, athleticism is amazing.
It couldn't be a fucking recipe.
I have a friend, Shane, who wants to,
who did independent wrestling, indie wrestling.
Yeah.
That it's in.
Backyard shit?
Well, no, not backyard.
There's backyard and then there's independent wrestling.
And the independent wrestling is more of the regional stuff
that you were talking about, where you go to venues
that they set up.
I'm pretty sure like the Dwarf Wrestling League
is an independent wrestler kind of deal.
Where you're paying for your own shit.
And you're, but you get paid per gig or whatever.
So but you have to train.
You have to be good enough.
We saw David Arquette work his way up.
It's kind of through with you cannot kill.
That would have been kind of independent.
Yeah.
Except the that really shitty.
Well, he gets all fucked up.
That's in the backyard.
That's the backyard shit.
Yeah.
Which is also a fun wrestling game,
or at least it was a wrestling game.
I don't know if it was fun.
But awesome.
Next week, we are continuing our holiday tradition
by getting into, well, now that we've done some traveling,
what comes next?
It's family visiting.
And that means Christmas vacation.
So Christmas vacation is next week.
Join us then.
And as always, thank you for coming along for the ride.
With us as always is Brennan.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,
dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,
Chippley up to Boston.
Why'd you go fast?
I don't know why I went fast.
Jesus.
Just added a little pizzazz.
Have a good night.
What's that?
Have a good night.
And we have Michael.
I wish I could stuff him up and throw him in an oven sometimes,
like a turkey Larson.
Have a good night, everyone.
And I'm your host, Andy Rice.
We've been fried.
Brennan's turkey is going to be smoked.
And I'm going to be Andy forever.
Good night.
**MUSIC PLAYING**