And then welcome to the zombie episode of Fried Rice Podcast.
I'm your host, Andy Rice.
Let's get right with me is Austin Brains Farrell.
Michael Brains Larson.
Fuck you.
And then braids Chibley.
We did it.
One minute we got through it.
Just like that we cured Andy's emphysema.
Oh God that's the walk.
Welcome everybody to another exciting, spooky, hot night of 17 nights of Halloween.
We're going to end up doing 18 of these and every time I say 17 it's going to sound fucking stupid.
Worse than my zombie intro right now.
I think the fact that we record these after recording an episode is going to make them even more interesting for the viewers.
We're all really high.
Yeah we're not starting this cold turkey ladies and gentlemen.
Don't tell them how the sausage is made.
This is a themed episode.
Don't tell them how the brains are made.
So how is everybody?
So we, as you might know, or this is the first episode, we don't know.
I don't think we have an intro one.
We'll figure it out.
But this is our zombie day where each one of us had the opportunity to find a zombie movie of our choice on any streaming platform.
Sorry Tubi, but you know we're just venturing out.
This is a fun little experiment we're trying.
And then we're going to come in here.
We're going to find out who picked the best one.
We're going to do a little bit of a recap.
We're going to talk about all these things.
And maybe we'll learn about some new movies we never heard about.
Maybe we're going to revisit some classics.
So this is hopefully going to be a good time.
And to start this off, we'll go from most brain dead to most likely to survive zombie apocalypse.
So Mike, why don't you go ahead and tell us what movie you picked.
Please.
Okay, I had a little trouble because there's a lot of choices.
You just typed zombies in on your search.
So many choices.
I had just on that.
I had okay.
The thing I picked is so stupid and I apologize now.
It will get there.
But by just Googling zombie looking for zombie movies, you type it into Google.
It pops up with like 20 different tier lists of what you want to watch comedy, rom-coms, thrillers, horrors, buddy comedy, whatever.
There's so many.
I don't think any of us are going to pick the same one.
Although I was very close to picking what Brendan picked.
I figured his out.
But okay, Mike.
Okay.
So because I had to find one that was also appropriate for my wife and my granddaughter.
We were all watching these last night.
Oh, a zombie movie.
A zombie movie.
So what are we going to do?
At least PG-13 or under is what you're aiming for, right?
PG-13, yeah.
Less gory.
PG-13, not really hard R on that stuff.
I don't want to have a repeat of a few weeks ago.
That was the incest themed fucking movie.
You know what?
Because this is going to release months from now, you saying the incest movie from a few weeks ago is going to really confuse people because they're going to be like, wait a minute.
The Stephen King day.
Didn't you guys review the Berenstein Bears movie?
No, this will be roughly in the same timeframe because it was the Stephen King movie.
Your grandkids having a rough time right now.
They made me watch this and then they made me watch this.
And now zombies, huh?
And so she tried to get me to go to Disney.
I just couldn't do it.
I couldn't do the Disney.
There's a zombies on Disney.
Okay.
But so I said, you got to pick one of these.
And so I just pulled it up on the search for our main TV, our Vizio TV has a search button.
I popped up and so she picked World War Z.
Oh, another one I was considering.
Which I was really glad.
Because I saw it years ago and I remember it was pretty good.
I remember being good.
But it's better than I even remembered now watching it back.
It's more interesting.
There's some things in it that really surprised us.
Like it's 2013 and if you watch this movie, there is a very beginning.
It's a montage of news reports.
And I swear to God, it all could have been COVID.
Oh, the actual monsters.
Zombie instead of COVID.
If they didn't even say zombie, that's what they did.
They cut them.
Where they cut them, they were talking about, they said the outbreak or whatever at that point.
They were saying outbreak.
It was the beginning.
So they would say like the outbreak started here.
And it's like, but it was real news people interjected in it.
So they were taking real news footage of some other outbreak before COVID.
And doing it for the zombie movie.
They didn't film it specifically for the movie?
No.
I don't think so.
It was too many news people.
It was a lot of news people.
There was a couple that they could have paid.
Piers Morgan was one of them I know of that they could have paid.
SARS maybe.
But maybe not in 2013.
He was working for CNN I think then.
So I don't know.
I'm not sure where they pulled it from.
It was just weird and unsettling that in 2013 they were speaking the exact same terminology that was speaking in 2020.
Anyway, not really the point of the movie, but it was just the very beginning thing.
With World War Z.
Yeah.
I read, I listened to the audiobook years and years ago.
I was not going to get to that.
And what's interesting about it is that it's very different than the movie because I haven't watched the movie.
So here's the thing though.
You've not watched the movie?
I haven't watched the movie.
But the movie is visually spectacular.
The zombies attacking and shit, right?
It's amazing.
But in the book, this is all just first hand accounts of people who have survived already.
And I don't even think the Brad Pitt characters in the book.
That's what I'm saying.
So the book, the way the book is written is you're just, it's like if you were in, if you, if you were maybe coming 20 years after the zombies all died and you pick up a book.
12 years.
Some dude went around and collected a bunch of people's journals who wrote shit before they died or whatever, however they did, and collected them all.
You're just at different reports or whatever.
Yeah, I'm in chapter.
I'm in the very beginning.
I'm actually reading it because I watch the movie now.
And it's different voice actors for each chapter.
Well, I'm actually reading it on, on Kindle, but the opening of it is told from the point of view of a Chinese scientist.
It's not even, it's so far off the movie.
It's not even, but it's very good so far.
But then you watch the movie, which I haven't seen, but I've seen commercials for.
It's like a Brad Pitt survival action movie.
But then you play the game and they did with the game what sort of they just made a more chaotic version of Call of Duty zombies with less silliness.
Like Call of Duty zombies is like you get a ray gun at some point and like it's silly level design or whatever.
This is like you're in a subway in New York or whatever.
And there's an overwhelming presence of zombies.
And it's you and like three other friends with like limited ammo and real real guns trying to survive.
Right.
And it's it's cool.
And the graphics are insane.
Like like good for its time, which is still pretty good.
Anyway, sorry.
That was I just mentioned World War Z was on my list of maybe picking because of all those factors.
But I went with a way better movie.
You stupid fuck.
If you've not seen it, you should watch it.
It's good.
Anyway, it's Brad Pitt.
The first of all, which may be why my granddaughter picked it because basically it's a picture of Brad Pitt on the upper screen.
The man could make fleeing from a horde of ravenous undead seem like a shampoo commercial.
The zombies are so cool.
It's not like other zombie movies at all.
They are.
Resourceful.
Well, resourceful.
They're smart.
They build a wall of people.
They're they're resourceful.
They're fast.
There's a plane scene in the commercial.
Did these zombies?
Are they pop up in that plane?
They Yeah.
What happens is Brad Pitt and his and his.
So that's great.
Really.
By the way, which proves the wall doesn't work.
Just so you know, the walls is pretty worthless.
OK, it's they they're escaping after they reach the.
He's where he discovered he's watching somebody get bit and stand in there and he kind of determines that it takes about 10 seconds to turn.
So anyway, this girl gets chops her arm off.
He's the one that figures all this out.
OK, and he's and interspersed in the movie the way they do it is flashbacks.
And these are spoilers for a 20 year old movie.
But there's it's done with flashbacks where he sees something.
But kind of like how you see something on a peripheral or vision.
So it played Brad Pitt plays basically a brilliant scientist who's retired from I'm not even sure where, but he's also like a military guy.
So he he's basically running all over the world trying to figure this out.
And he's saving this one girl where they can go.
Basically not not really even try to figure it out.
He's just trying to escape like everybody else.
OK, and escape his family, find somewhere for his family.
But the Israeli thing, they they've reached the wall.
He chops his girl's hand off, which gets bit and drags her with her on this plane.
They basically don't really hijack.
They stop for him, but it's kind of a hijack.
And they let them on because they're like these government agent people now.
And there's other just regular people on the plane all trying to escape.
Right. So they think everything's fine.
Somebody on the plane got it.
And then, yeah, somehow one of the one of the dumbest scenes is they all turn their fight off the sport of plane zombies and they throw a grenade and blow it up.
Is there parachutes involved? No parachutes.
No parachutes. And Brad Pitt survives this? Oh, just survives totally fine.
You know, a couple of scratches. He's got a scratch here on his cheek, I believe.
But that's that's about it. That's some yeah, some bullshit.
Say it's some movie bullshit. Yeah. Oh, no.
And it's a horrific crash when you see they show the crash.
It's horrific. It breaks apart. Just the nose is flipping.
He's not even in the know what I'm if I'm not if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah. If you go to Universal Studios on the tram tour, I'm pretty sure it goes through the plane crash for World War Z.
I think they that's where they they did like the with all the pieces torn apart.
And it's horrific. And when you pass by, you're like, oh, man, no, sir.
There are no survivors. No survivors in this crash. But of course, Brad Pitt and the girl both walk away.
Yeah. So there's some stuff like that in this movie that's not great, but it's still great to watch.
It's popcorn. It's it's like zombie popcorn flick.
It's the it's it's kind of the best mashup of genres I've ever seen.
It's really an action thriller with zombies and bad ass.
Not just I mean, the fact that they take 10 seconds to turn sounds pretty cool. Yeah.
Can I have you say it's basically popcorn? I think this is your new thing.
It's basically popcorn. I love it.
I need most of your reviews to include it's basically and then give us your because that's I think that's what the people want.
They want to it's basically from Mike.
And I think it really is your thing. So once you said popcorn, I'm like, yeah, it's basically popcorn.
That's what I need from you. Superb. Months ago, you chose one ranger.
What was the basically for that? I don't know.
Basically not a wester already. It's basically not a wester.
It's basically a wester. Yeah.
This is big dumb fun. Moves faster than zombies.
You know, it's just I will say the mechanics to this where they globetrot like Carmen's Diego.
They're just not. That's fun. It's not realistic at all.
Is it just the outline of a map and you watch the red line go from place to place?
It's Indiana Jones. That's very close.
It takes Jones, Carmen, San Diego, five minutes to get there.
It takes five minutes to get there. Same day. Tokyo, Tokyo to New York.
This whole this whole thing lasts about twenty seven or twenty eight hours.
It's Brad Pitt doesn't sleep once. No, he doesn't.
Does he look like he needs sleep at the end? No, no.
He looks like he's ready to go on a shampoo. He survived a fucking plane crash.
Listen again, I'm going to point out. Yeah, I'm just going to point out.
If I slipped at work and landed too hard on my ass or or or elbow or something
and just got to the end of my day, I would just crawl into bed and just like whimper myself to sleep because I'm a big baby.
Brad Pitt survives a plane crash. And the first thing he does is just go, listen, I'm going to go take it.
I mean, I guess because there's zombies, you really can't, can you?
Never mind. Forgot about the zombies. I was just whipping out already. I couldn't do it.
I said two things about this. Highest grossing zombie film of all time, which I did not know.
Wait, really? Yeah. Highest grossing of all time.
Of all time? Of all time. Highest grossing zombie film of all time. Still.
It seems like the most big budget zombie movie I've heard of.
Yeah. And it was on the 2007 blacklist. I guess they tried to make this for a long time.
What does the 2007 blacklist mean?
The blacklist is a, it comes out every year. It's a, it's a, it's the, they vote on the film scripts that have not been made.
The best bad film scripts basically. It's just, it's kind of like the Razzies for film scripts that haven't been made.
But anyway, it's called the blacklist. Look it up. It's interesting because there's a lot of movies that get made off of it later.
It's kind of interesting to go back and look. Interesting. You'll see a lot of like number one movies.
Was Gemini Man a blacklist movie? I don't have it.
That was immediately greenlit probably. Yeah. I don't think it was immediately greenlit.
I think Gemini Man's were passed around since like the 80s. That was the only surprise about this that it took them that long to make it.
Yeah. 2007 to 2013 before it ever got made. It was a long time. Yeah.
And I didn't even know the book was that old. At first I didn't know Max Brooks was that.
It seemed like a more modern author. I'll give you that. Yeah.
But what's happening is time is compressing for us and we're getting older. And the things that we think of that were just yesterday are really years and years and years and years.
We said 12 years on. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. Time passes by very quickly.
So here's things you have. My basic review. World War Z isn't going to win awards for depth or originality.
Other than some mechanics in it. But it's a solid popcorn flick that will get your heart racing faster than a zombie virus.
So what is it? Sometimes all you need for a good time at the movies is Brad Pitt, a pandemic and CGI zombies.
There you go. It's basically popcorn. Yeah, it's basically popcorn. Popcorn zombies.
How many popcorns on a popcorn scale? Popcorn zombies. Four caffeinated corpses.
OK. Four out of five caffeinated corpses. Great. All right. What a spooky job, Mike.
Up next is Brad. What zombie movie did you pick?
So I went a little different route. I decided to do undead zombies. But I also went to ZomCom. I did The Dead Don't Die from 2021.
I wanted to do that one. Bill Murray and Adam Driver. And it is great.
It's hilarious. The whole way through. Adam Driver breaks the fourth wall many times.
Looks like Cameron said shit? No, just kind of like, you know, throughout the movie, he'll say like, this is going to end badly.
And Bill Murray is like, why do you keep saying that? He's like, I read the script. Oh, he's like, what? Yeah.
Yeah, really breaks the fourth wall. I think that's the fifth wall.
Oh, yeah. And Bill Murray does too, because he's like, wait, you got the whole script? He's like, I only got our scenes.
Yeah, he gave me the whole script. That's funny. That's dick.
Like, it's silly. You know, like the whole time, like, basically it starts out. The earth is off its axis.
And like they're like, it's 830, but it's still really bright outside. Like, what's going on?
So it's like taking longer to get dark. And then when the sun, the moon finally comes up,
like there's like a guy that's kind of like just a hermit living out in the forest and he's kind of like, oh, poisonous rays from the moon.
And like two zombies come out of the grave and then go to one of the diners and kill the two people at the diner.
And then instantly are like, oh, and like start drinking coffee and they're like walking around, walking around town with the coffee pots.
Coffee. And so like as it goes on, like more and more zombies start coming back and they gravitate towards what they loved in life.
And so there was like a bunch of them outside of the drugstore like Xanax and Oxy and like, you know, different drugs and stuff and like hardware store.
And it just gets silly, progressively sillier. Porn theater. Yeah. So it's like kind of like Shaun of the Dead, you know, like that kind of vibe.
I mean, if it wasn't zombies, like I'd be tempted to watch it with my kids, you know.
Is there a little too much gore for a TV family?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, so when they kill them, they don't bleed. It's dust that comes out.
Like they're like, you have to cut off their heads. Like they instantly know, like Adam Driver's like instantly.
Like at first they're all like, it looks like they were attacked by, you know, a wild animal, like a wild animal or multiple.
And then once everybody goes away, like Bill Murray asks Adam Driver, like, what's your real thoughts?
And he's like, I think it's zombies. Like, what? Use the force.
Yeah, it's zombie. They have a couple of Star Wars references that are pretty funny.
Tilda Swinton is in it. She is a Scottish funeral home director that also wields a samurai sword.
Oh, jeez. Star power in this. It's Z-rated zombie. She wields a samurai sword.
Like there's a lot of people. Danny Glover's in it.
Wow. Yeah. Like it's the guy that played Elvis.
It's a hundred million dollar budget movie. Austin Butler.
Austin Butler, Elvis. He's in it. It's I highly recommend it. It's on Max. It's funny.
Yeah, it's I went a different route. I wanted some lightheartedness in all of this craziness.
What's your scale to rate it on? Because you have a better idea of it.
So star power and you can literally give it five. You can give it stars.
You're going to hide. Maybe you're going to have a bad times, I guess,
because that's the line that Adam Driver says the entire time. OK.
And five out of five, five out of five bad times.
You're going to have a bad time, ironically, meaning you'd have a great time.
Yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. So Scooby Doo and Zombie Island. Nice.
I watched that's when I could watch with my kids. Yeah, you could have.
Listen, I needed something quick. Both traumatized kids.
That's why I don't watch it with my kids. Wait till they're old enough.
Yeah, and they're old enough and then they tell you that you fuck me up.
Well, no, my oldest. So what happened? My oldest is 15. Yeah.
My granddaughter is 12 and she traumatizes me. I don't know what you're talking about.
She's the one picking these movies. I don't I gravitate towards way lighter.
And she's like, no, not Pandora. She's going to love Pandora.
Living alone, I think they do. So we can unpack that later if we want.
And you know a lot about Blippi and Bluey. Yeah.
You know the difference between the two. I watched it.
I'm so bluey because Brendan forced me to.
And I played Bluey with his kid when I went over for Thanksgiving.
I took the Bluey doll and was bluey for like an hour or two, just straight Bluey.
So I have a connection to Bluey.
Some weird one. And I don't think they have anything to do with that shitting video that you were so close to.
And there's a puppet in your room. Yeah.
We're not. Hey, listen, we're not on the same podcast we were an hour ago, guys.
We got to act like this is a Halloween special. We're talking about Dumbies.
So I watched Scooby Doo and Zombie Island.
I'm going to say right off the top, not a lot of zombies.
A lot of voodoo magic, a lot of ghost shit.
Not a lot of zombies. They couldn't call it Scooby Doo, voodoo ghost.
They should have. And they should have. And then I wouldn't have picked it for Zombie Week.
So opens with the standard.
They actually kind of undersell themselves a little bit because it opens with sort of a perfect little Scooby Doo episode, a condensed five minute little Scooby Doo episode where they are getting chased by like a sea monster.
They go through the doors. They have the door bit. You hear the Scooby Doo, be you.
You know, where are you? You know, that song and then they a thing falls on the monster.
They pull the mask on. Oh, it was the guy who's trying to whatever.
He's like, I would have gone away with it if it wasn't for that dog and those pesky kids.
Then cuts forward. They've all grown up. That was a flashback.
Now, Daphne is a reporter or she's a she has a one woman reporting sort of like on the spot thing where Fred is her producer and he follows.
He has the camera and everything. She's on a today like the like a good morning like a morning show with with another host.
And she's like, so what are you going to do next?
And Daphne says, oh, no, it literally cuts to her like the scene ends of that flashback.
And then Daphne is like, and that's how we solved the whatever the fuck.
So it like it was a very much like she's telling a story.
It goes, oh, that must be fun. Do you miss it? Yeah.
I missed the the old days with the crew.
And I wrote down I love a good like let's get the gang back together again storyline.
It's always solid when you get one of these movies.
So they cut to all their little jobs. Listen, this is a children's movie. It's not complex.
I know I'm breaking it down. I don't need to break it down that much.
But I thought that there I thought that their jobs were pretty acceptable as to what they ended up.
Velma owns a bookshop and Scooby and Shaggy are continuously get fired from.
They're at an airport and Scooby's a food sniffing dog, not drugs, food, contraband.
And they get all these foreign foods that are like cheese wheels and stuff.
And they bring it into a room. And then I'm going to give you.
Two guesses as to what happens when they're left alone with that food.
You're only going to need one. And when their boss comes and sees them eating, eating all the food they really want you to take away from this movie is how much Scooby and Shaggy like to eat.
OK, this is probably one of I'm not even under exaggeration.
I'm this is on the spot. I think eight or nine. They find food and eat it montages in this movie.
This one is at the airport. There's a lot of the voodoo place.
There's some along the way anywhere you see Shaggy and Scooby.
If they're not getting chased by a ghost, they're eating food.
And I kind of I'm here for it. But at the same time, I wish they were doing more.
But more at the same time, my big takeaway was Scooby Doo.
I might get a flag for this black for this.
But no, no, no, no. I might have missed something.
But is this the animated or live action? Oh, this is animated.
OK, this is the cartoon. It's a classic. It's it's a year was this one.
Yeah, I'm probably even saying the name wrong. I really it might even be just like voodoo.
Scooby Doo on Zombie Island is what I've been saying this whole time.
Came out in 1998 straight to video.
Directed video animated. Yeah, listen, it.
Mark Hamill, isn't that he's the yeah, he's the one of the boat.
He's the the guy that you're the red herring, the guy you're supposed to think is maybe a guy in a mask.
But we'll get into this.
So so first off, Scooby.
Is a terrifying, sentient, talking, I think, shapeshifting alien.
I think he's the thing. I think from John Carpenter's, the thing I think it got out.
I think it infected another dog, a Saint Bernard.
I think that or whatever he is. And I think that it learned to adapt.
And I think that's just listen, no dog can talk.
We know this, right? No dog can talk.
Is fully say it louder for that little girl at Comic Con.
Oh, wait, did I break this down once that I said he scares me?
Any talking animal scares you. Yeah.
You think we should kill them all. Yeah.
OK, well, I'm not going to retread. He really hates furries.
Like months ago, we talked about the Planet of the Apes.
You're like, yeah, I'm killing them instantly.
You're going to kill them all. This is a theme for me.
And that's that's frightening. It is a little.
So much I want to kill these talking dogs.
Well, anyway, I don't tell them about your furry habit.
What would you be if you were furry, Austin, who are covered?
Me and Andy are furries together.
I'll tell you exactly what you would be a bluejay. Why?
I just did the color. We look at obviously.
No, it's too on the nose with your name.
I think you were going off of what you look good at.
It would be a bluejay. Fucking bird.
I don't think that counts. That's not fur. Those are feathers.
Listen, the furry community is expansive, my dude.
I like how I like how Mike tried to diss me,
but it turned into you just dissing yourself and furthering the bluey blippy
single man alone shows kids.
You know what? And now we're going to do a kids movie episode soon.
Yeah. If it's not out already, it's war.
I'm stuck in the 90s.
What it is is I think it's 1997 or 1998. My brain stopped developing.
And then I just went through the rest of my life and everyone's just like,
oh, well, he'll pull it together at some point.
Here I am, motherfuckers.
Picking Scooby Doo Zombie Island for a podcast no one listens to.
Here we are. Here I am defending, not defending, but absolutely terrified of a talking dog.
Now I will. OK, there's some things that I'd bring this up on purpose
because people should be more concerned about it.
But they go to Daphne starts a new show where it's going to haunted houses.
Like I want to I want to show real haunted houses.
And so she gets the gang back together. They get the mystery machine.
They drive it out to Fred gets an invitation to go to some Cajun island
and go visit a real haunted house. They go out there.
They bring the mystery machine. They ferry it across the thing just to drive.
They don't do anything else with the mystery machine.
I just want this to be clear. They could have not brought the mystery machine.
And it would have made no difference other than you wouldn't have had a shot of them in the mystery machine.
That was a silly. The amount of money those kids spent on.
It's not even important, but.
So they get there and I realized that, oh, for a movie that takes place entirely in New Orleans area,
not one black person, it's a lot of white Cajuns is what I'm seeing.
One of them has a hunting pig. Just he brings out a hunting pig.
Again, guys, this is it's not complicated. Oh.
They get up to the house, right? OK, they get across the swamp.
There's a bit of a scare with an alligator, I think. It's just it's silly.
It's nothing. It's stupid. There's no this is all the fake stuff, right?
We haven't gotten to the meat of it.
We get to the house and we're introduced to the the the woman who owns the house.
And she is like, who brought that dog here and points at Scooby?
And Scooby replies with dog confused.
So who brought that dog here? Dog? And I'm like, what do you mean, dog?
What do you, Scooby, do? I did a bias.
What do you mean by dog? Question mark like you don't know your dog
or he's fucking shape shifting. I'm stuck on it.
Doesn't matter. Was he like, where's Scrappy Scrappy's here?
No, nobody does it later because she says, again, who brought that dog here?
He goes, what dog? And I'm like, are you fucking kidding?
Scooby, he's giving it. That's a little a little bit of a thing.
It's like Ro Ro re-rigored me out.
Yeah, it's time to kill everyone.
So I forgot he was a dog.
He's a what? So high he forgot he was a dog.
He's a dog. Scooby Doo can just fucking kill everyone.
Wait, I'm Shaggy, aren't I?
Are you joining? Are you joining Andy's bandwagon of having to kill talking animals?
If it's Scooby Doo.
First, that's the sequel we got to rise. Scooby, who turns out to be a shape shifting alien,
and he kills everyone one by one. And the biggest the biggest fight is Freddie.
Like Freddie's get a little bit bigger.
Well, if it's if it's public domain, I don't think Scooby's public domain yet.
What talking animal is is Ed the horse or is Astro from the Jetsons?
I don't know. Does he talk? Hey, George.
Well, no, we just now got got the steamboat Willie.
So that's yeah, no, it's not. Wait, but.
Who's as good as you're going to get right now?
Yeah, but are all are all characters for all things.
The same copyright and trademark protected as Steenboat Willie was.
Now, you got to think Disney best lawyers on the planet.
They're the ones expanding their laws to even fucking get the shit going.
But it applies to everyone. Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive.
OK, is it applied to Winnie the Pooh?
Yeah, and that one just came out two years ago.
What if somebody came up with a but what about all the knockoffs of everything?
Knockers is a weird as long as it's parody.
You know, it has to be that's the thing you have to go.
What about a knockoff of a knockoff?
As long as it's not confusable, it's fine.
You can do whatever you want.
It's like you can sing any song you want as a parody.
You can use any tune to make your own song.
But then can I so if we're now Yankevich makes a parody song, right?
Can I then cover that song free of charge?
You can't cover it free of charge.
You can then parody that song and change it around again.
Yes. So all right.
Well, if Scooby Doo ever goes public domain, the sequel is definitely 2064.
2064 is when he goes. Yeah.
OK, so 2064, we can make the Scooby Doo sequel.
It's also be public domain by the literally use the two characters.
Oh, I will.
And you film it real serious like he just like, oh, hey, Scoob's man.
How are you?
And she's like, oh, hey, hey, you're like, whatever.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry about what I have to do.
I don't know. He eats Shaggy like the big sandwiches that he had just his jaw on hinges.
And Shaggy's like, oh, my God, this whole time he's just been at the bottom
of his pit like, like, no, just gets eaten.
And then after Scooby like puffs out some smoke out of his mouth,
because, you know, he's Shaggy's full of it probably.
And then Shaggy's the best Scooby snack ever.
Yeah, Scooby snacks.
You know, all this time you didn't know what Scooby snacks were.
And then he goes and he shapes. Oh, God, that would be terrifying.
That's and then you can really combine it Scooby snacks are people.
What have you done? I'm not Ruby anymore.
I'm not Ruby. I'm Ruby Ruby do.
And I'm going to Ruby Ruby kill you.
So stupid.
Well, we got to write it before before someone else does before so
or copyright. So that way, the first day, first minute, just slam this on a desk
somewhere. Copyright.
They a big, big, big subplot of this not very zombie, zombie island movie
taking place in Cajun South, a lot of voodoo magic, voodoo magic are these
hot peppers that they grow on the island.
That's it. There's hot peppers and Shaggy and Scooby really eat a lot of them.
And they know it's hot, but they like the taste.
So they keep eating them and they keep having different explosive violent
reactions to hot peppers. Their mouths on fire.
And some of them they blow out smoke and other ones they got to jump in the
water. And some of them they got to eat a sandwich after one of them.
You get it. This I literally wrote this movie 60 percent food montages.
And that number goes up as the notes go on.
I think it's 90 and 10 percent is monsters and two percent of it zombies.
But so they're eating peppers and then ghosts. A ghost comes at them.
Just a ghost pirate. He sort of looks on B.S. but he's a ghost.
And he like he like a zombie ghost thing.
They run away. Now. OK.
Velma then gets levitated in the air and they're like, well, we've seen this
before. There's usually wires or whatever.
She's like, nope, I'm just being levitated. And weirdly, there's a scene
where she's levitated up and she like covers her vagina skirt area like very
like very like like like she doesn't want anyone to see it.
They didn't have to include that. They could have avoided a situation where
she they could have made it animated.
They had every choice in the world to not make me think about her hiding her
modesty in that moment, because in that moment I'm not thinking of Velma's
vagina until I did until I was like, oh, wait, if I rewind it, can I get a peek?
Is that what was happening before she covered up you fucking pervert?
Speak for yourself, Andy. Listen, animated Velma is a saint.
And you know what? She deserves more dignity than that.
Not her own show, but that show fucking blue.
Oh, I forgot she did have her own show.
Yeah, Velma could suck at that. Never mind.
I don't know that film is a great character. Well written.
She's super smart.
So she covers her badge weird. I did write that down.
Sixty percent of this movie is a shag and scoop eating.
OK, so the ghost that we get a ghost zombie like ghost zombies that come at
them and they're cool shit. They look awesome.
Scooby and Shaggy both that I had the so Scooby Shaggy.
Fully believe monsters are real every time someone in a mask comes at them.
They're full. They are scared to the core of their being.
They're not fit for this kind of job. Daphne is more agnostic.
She's like, how do you know if it's not real?
Velma absolutely is none of its real.
And Fred is skeptic where he's like, let's challenge if it's real.
Right. But that's a weird dynamic.
You would think that you would get more like minded people together.
You don't think like a ghost hunters show has people on the team that
legitimately think ghosts are real or all of them do not.
You wouldn't have a ghost hunting show if you truly believed ghosts were real.
You wouldn't have skeptics on your team. You would be like, I think they're real.
I want other people who think they're real.
Vice versa, if I was a skeptic and I knew they weren't real and I wanted to
prove that they weren't real, I wouldn't bring believers with me.
So I think this team, this mystery team doesn't work as a dynamic.
I don't even think they're that good of friends.
Scooby and Shaggy, best friends for life.
They're always on their own just eating, just getting high and eating.
Velma's usually doing her own thing and Daphne and Fred are just kind of
flirting all the time, sort of like this will they, won't they?
It's a lot weirder when you take into consideration that this movie,
presumably they're all in their 20s.
So at this point, Fred and Daphne have been like, will they, won't they?
For years? And I don't think either one of them have fucked.
And at this point, I don't know why.
Like I think, like, I don't know. It's weird.
Velma's vagina made me think of all this. I wasn't before.
And then I see Fred hitting on some other chick and Daphne getting a little
bit.
I think you just unlocked the whole secret of the show.
It's just a giant commentary on religion.
What's the religion? Oh, yeah, just the belief.
All their different conflicting points of view.
Also, I think that it might also be a commentary on Freddie's just banging
both Velma and Daphne.
And then Shaggy's a homeless guy that they adopted.
They don't really care for him.
That's why they always leave him alone.
But he has Scooby.
It's his dog. So they're like, he's got Scooby.
Let's bring him with us. Here's the real thing.
I'll tell you what.
They are government agents, Fred, Daphne, Velma.
They're hired X-File style to keep an eye on this interdimensional alien being
that they found that turns itself into a talking dog.
Shaggy is the homeless guy. Shaggy is the homeless guy that met him on the beach.
What is in that joint?
No, no, no, no. This is all making more sense.
Shaggy, a dog, should not at any point put his paw up to his mouth.
Because you make perfect sense.
Yeah, but no, no. Look at the picture of Scooby right there.
He literally looks aghast. He's like, he's got his paw up.
And notice how they're all behind him at all times.
So I think, yeah, they're government agents.
Shaggy is just like Zoinks, man.
Anything for a free ride, dude.
You know, like he's just going along with it.
These attractive people and this nerd show up.
They're like, hey, you want to be part of our mystery team?
And then what they do is they just hire government agents to pretend to be ghosts
with super high-end effects and gizmos.
A regular farmer trying to keep his farm is not going to be coming up
with an intricate wire system that makes it look like 3D holographic ghosts
are attacking the town. Like, impossible.
But you know what isn't impossible?
A Black Site CIA operative team that goes in and fixes up a bar
that when you – all you have to do is trick Scoob and Shag.
How hard is that? They're high as fuck the whole time,
and it takes nothing to scare them.
I like the shape-shifting alien idea.
Like Shaggy's so stupid, he'll never figure it out.
That's why Scooby hangs around him the most.
This guy's a rockin' retard. He's not going to figure me out.
You know what? And what would be great is if they –
and we've already seen how they plan on capturing Scoob.
They test it out all the time. Is he willing to fall for our infinite door trick
where they have like these interconnected hallways where if you go into one,
you come out the other Pac-Man style.
They – CIA events that shit.
And so that's how they'll keep Scoob and Shag occupied forever,
was just a monster on a loop.
It's the plot of Dark Matter.
I haven't seen Dark Matter, but –
Well, Dark Matter's Scooby-Doo.
So anyway –
That's what we'll call that. We'll call it Do Matter.
Scooby-Dooby. Scooby-Dooby Dark Matter.
So – and then I put, oh, 70% eating. Jesus.
Because they had like a picnic scene where they just had to eat more.
So Daphne's a believer. More eating. That was my next note.
80%. 10% ghosts. One zombie. Oh, here we go. Zombies.
So finally, halfway through the movie, you get zombies attacking.
Sort of. Like, they're just sort of walking. They're all pirate-themed. Whatever.
So the zombies are – okay.
Then they knock out a zombie, however that works,
and they start pulling on the mask.
And eventually, Fred rips the head off the zombie,
proving that either A, Fred's like, well, it must be some sort of animatronic.
And Shag's like, like, all of them, dude.
Like, because there's a lot of them coming at you. He's like, okay, maybe.
So zombies are real. Confirmed real zombies in this fucking movie.
So magic is real.
There's a really lame chase scene song sung by some band that was probably popular in 1998.
Voodoo Magic. Because one of them picks up a doll,
and you see in real time one of the characters get picked up levitating.
Voodoo Magic. Confirmed.
Scooby-Doo. Voodoo Magic is real.
Werecats. Because really you're thinking, who's going to be the main villain of Zombie Island?
You're thinking definitely zombies, right? Because that's building up to zombies.
Then at some point, the lady of the house and the girl that invited them there
turn into werecat people.
And they go, we're werecats this whole fucking time.
That's why we were like, who brought that dog?
And Scooby's like, oh, like having an internal existential crisis
before he figures out he's an alien sent here to do whatever.
Was it a mother and son again? The werecat?
No, the werecats in this one, it's like two women.
But anyway, they're werecats. They tell them all.
Not written by Stephen King.
Oh, no. They tell them all that we're werecats.
The zombies? Good guys.
They came back to stop werecats.
And so at one point, there is a very funny moment where Scooby and Shag
run into the zombies and they start screaming.
And someone's like, no, they're good zombies.
And they're like, yeah, forget that.
And they run into the werecats and they're like, what the fuck?
And they run back to the zombies, which is pretty funny.
So yeah, good zombies, werecats, pirate ghosts, alligators, hunting pigs.
Very little zombies.
I will say if you're going to have werecats, a good thing for them to say,
which they did say was right when he he pops out and he becomes like one of the
dudes becomes like the only the boat cap.
He becomes like a huge werecat.
And they're like, he goes, cat got your tongue.
And I'm like, yeah, fuck. Yeah, you're going to werecat.
You're going to you're going to cat got your tongue for sure.
And then the women cat women, they super saiyan.
So they were saying and then they double up.
They become even bigger.
They have a big old fight.
And this fucking movie sucked.
It sucked. Scooby Doo is the most terrifying part of it.
I love my alternative theory more than the actual fucking thing.
So look at this. There's not a single zombie on this poster.
Those are ghosts in the top right.
It does bring up a question.
I don't know your movie yet, but hopefully it's different because we've got all
different zombies different than Scooby Doo.
What is what is a zombie is what I wrote it because it's interesting when you
because we were looking at the movies.
I started thinking, what is a zombie?
Because some of the movies it was putting up weren't to me weren't zombie movies
like I am legend. Were they zombies?
Yeah, those are defined as vampires.
Well, but they're kind of both.
That's what we're kind of have similar properties.
They're two. They're two.
But they're too smart. Yeah, they can't go out in sunlight.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I was like, you should watch that. I was like, I want to.
That was what I did.
The vampires bite you and you turn.
Same thing. How does a vampire make a vampire?
Yeah, they bite you and you turn.
It just takes it's a more complicated process.
They just sped it up.
Werewolves bite you and you turn.
Zombies bite you and you turn.
So we're cats. I'm a section.
Yeah, we're cats.
I'm assuming they piss on your fucking carpet and then you fucking then you turn.
Yeah.
Which is the only difference is like whether it's a straight infection or infection
and then you die and then you come back to life.
Undead.
Yeah. Well, so I give this a.
I'm a Scooby Snacks.
D minus F plus.
On your scale.
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah.
I'm a Scooby Snacks.
No, no, no.
Talking dog.
On the monster from.
Thing dogs. Yeah.
Yeah.
The it from no, no, no, not it from the thing.
From out from five out of the things of the things from the thing.
I give it a.
I gave it one of the thing from the thing from the thing.
Thing thing.
One thing, thing, thing, thing.
Out of five.
Thing, thing, thing.
But.
Austin.
Give us a completely unique type of zombie.
So this is this is like a nostalgic pic for you because you probably liked it as a kid.
Right.
Scooby Doo and zombie.
I never seen it.
Oh, I was looking for something.
It was a nostalgic pic for me and I was like, I do kind of want to watch that for another review.
So thank you for saving me from that.
Yeah.
For the kids episode that you should have chose this for.
But I'm glad I didn't.
I chose a nostalgic one for me and still holds up to this day.
It was dawn of the dead 2004.
I think we've all seen it more than likely.
Hell, yeah.
Traditional zombie and watching it.
I loved every fucking second of it.
You know, the.
It was like, damn, they knew what they were doing like once you finish the movie sprinting zombies, which are always kind of scary.
Also very resourceful zombies.
There's a jump scare where someone hears something in the parking lot of the mall that they're all staying in.
They go down.
There's like, see, I told you nothing was here.
And right as he's saying that the pipes on the ceiling, there's a legless zombie that like scales it really fast and jumps on him.
That's that's still kind of scary.
I forgot about that.
How about the kid in the beginning running or like running into the house or like running around?
That's when you drive through the suburban neighborhood leading up to that part.
It's just 10 minutes of this chick's normal day going home, going to bed.
And then then the kid, then the husband also may not.
Your suffers two different back injuries like the character.
She falls backwards into a bathtub.
Then she crawls out of the bathroom and falls on her fucking back again.
Still is able to get up, run, go to a car.
She doesn't make it.
One of the no, the main the main chick.
Yeah. Oh, she does.
She's the main chick.
Yeah. In the beginning.
Oh, I thought all the way through the throwaway.
I thought like you get to like you're like thinking she's the main chick.
Then she dies in the car accident or something.
We go to the main guy.
No, but that's 10 minutes of that.
They also screen that first 10 minutes of the movie leading up to the title on like BBC or something for the whole world to see.
You see a guy get hit by an ambulance.
That's pretty cool.
She goes outside, realizes the whole world's gone to shit.
She's her neighbor with a gun and he's like, get the fuck back.
And he keeps she's like, what's going on?
He's like, I said, get the fuck back.
He's crossing the street from his house where she is standing by her car on her property.
He's telling her to get the fuck back.
Gets hit by an ambulance.
Perfect.
That's not stanger ground.
She she drives.
She crashes.
And first thing we see is being rammed with a shotgun immediately.
Fuck.
Yeah.
They get into the mall.
There's a main guy character forgetting his name.
But he's like her love interest immediately after her husband dies that she has a child with.
He gets attacked by a zombie.
Really good zombie kills in this because he takes a broomstick and shoves it up the zombie's skull and out his head.
And they showed in slow motion.
It looks legit.
Looks awesome.
There's a part where everyone's been staying in the mall for a while and Ving Reims like see some people die and he decides like, you know, fuck this.
I'm going to get out of here.
And he's a cop in this.
And the main character guys like, like, we need you here.
And Ving Reims turns around and goes, fuck y'all.
And he starts leaving.
I think eventually stays.
Then there's a part where also got the music, the soundtrack for this is off the chain because once you get that 10 minute intro, it does like the credit intro and it's Johnny Cash when the man comes around.
OK, which is interesting.
Then when once they're all settled in the mall, there's like a short montage of them just having a blast in the mall, just hanging out, getting used to things.
And it's a Richard Cheese cover of Disturbed Down with the Sickness.
It's like a loungy, loungy down with you fuck.
Come on, come on down with the sick.
That's cool.
There's a character in here.
He's like the comedic relief and his name's Andy, which is nice.
And Andy gets laid in this movie.
That's awesome.
See 40 year old Virgin also about an end to get laid.
Another crazy zombie kill is that one of the survivors is a pregnant woman and she's been bit, but her husband doesn't tell anyone.
And so they've been like kind of secluded away.
The lady turns to kills her husband, kills a couple other people.
They kill her, but the baby's still alive inside.
They give birth to the baby.
The baby's a zombie.
They shoot the baby, which is gnarly.
Across the street from the mall there's a gun store and there's a guy living on the roof of it.
And they're communicating with him through signs.
They find a fun game where there's a crowd of zombies in between them.
They're like they read on the sign Jay Leno and he shoots the zombie that looks like Jay Leno.
One of my favorite lines, he's like, tell him Rosie O'Donnell.
He's like, nah, that's too easy.
They decide to go help him because he's hungry.
And they're just all this whole time communicating with signs.
And they send the dog because the zombies don't want the dog.
Climbs in there, brings him the food, but a zombie gets in there.
He gets bit.
He doesn't know that you turn if you get bit.
And they're just like just hanging there, man.
What year was it, man?
2004.
Getting close to the end here.
Yeah, so they see him back on the roof and he's riding on the sign.
They're like, what's he saying?
And then he pulls the binoculars up and it's just him as a zombie holding up the sign.
It's just smeared blood on it.
I love that part.
It was like that's kind of funny and also kind of cool.
That was one of my favorite parts.
Yeah, that's the most sad.
Then they beef up a couple of trucks and have chainsaws.
They're trying to get out.
One of the trucks slips over and the hot chick gets chainsawed in half by the gay guy, which was neat.
They both die.
They all get to this guy's boat, Andy's boat, and the love interest guy gets bit and decides to stay behind and let them get away on the boat.
And then it cuts to the credits, which is the actual.
Oh, wait, no, it's another song.
And you see a few credits and then it gets then there's even more like reels at the end where it's like found footage kind of thing.
And it's playing the actual down with the sickness song.
OK, great ending.
And yeah, I watched it all the way through to the end credits.
Special thanks to the CDC was in the credits.
I did a little fact check.
This was Zack Snyder's movie debut.
Oh, nice.
And was he the director? I think I should have told you to pull up the IMDb.
Was he the director, producer or something?
Was the post credit?
Did they go to an island at the end?
They get to an island and there's turns out to be zombies on the island that they were going to.
And it seems like they all were just balked after that.
The really dark ending kind of sort of leave it directed by Zack Snyder.
Yeah, it was a great one.
This movie actually there's parts of this where they're all watching TV and it has actors from the original Don the Dead.
One guy plays like a cop.
One guy plays like a preacher on TV.
The helicopter that you see when she's driving in the beginning is just the helicopter flying around.
It's the same one from one of the earlier movies.
And this entire movie was shot in chronological order.
Yeah, they told Zack Snyder that he didn't have to do that.
He's like, oh, I thought that's how we do it.
And I'm going to give this movie from.
Yeah, he did a bunch of movies.
From ooh to wah.
I'm going to give it a full ooh wah.
Five five.
All right, everybody.
You have the zombie episode.
Everybody.
With me is always is Austin Brains.
Always is Michael Brains.
With me is always.
Fuck you.
With me as always.
It's Brandon.
He's already dead.
I'm your host Andy Rice.
We've been broadcast.
We've been zombie.
We've been brained.